HOW TO ATTRACT BLUE-HAIRED MONKS (7/?)
BY : Chikki

Seventh chapter, no da! Finally! (^_^) I already decided on what to do with Chiriko, no da. evil laugh MWA-HAHAHAAA! It will all become clear in the next chapter, no da. Enjoy!

Warnings Tasuki has a _VERY_ impressive vocabulary of official "bandit" words, no da…so it's PG 13 for swearing…oh…and some yaoi too,na no da. (^_^)
Disclaimer Not mine. Never will be,na no da.



Kazumi wiped his brow. He had been working with the two seishi for the whole afternoon, and though he really was not tired, he was really getting wary of Tasuki's lack of cooking skills. He sweatdropped as he watched the fiery bandit before him chop up vegetables with lightning speed. "Er..Tasuki-sama…"

Breathing hard, Tasuki looked up. The older seishi was soaked in sweat, with hair hanging down his forehead. The apron that had been tied so securely before was beginning to fall off. He growled and narrowed his eyes. "WHAT?!"

The young cook jumped and cowered behind the kitchen counter in fear. "Nothing."

"Good." Said Tasuki and he resumed mutilating the vegetables before him.

Chiriko rolled his eyes and turned to look at Kazumi. "You know, Kazumi-san, it is perfectly all right if Tasuki is doing something wrong and you want to set him right."

The older youth looked at Chiriko before looking down and clasping his hands together. "Um…actually, Tasuki-san, those vegetables are not supposed to be cut up. Not for this particular dish, anyway."

Chiriko averted his attention back to the rice that he was cooking. Rice, after all, was the only thing that he knew how to cook. He chuckled. "Well, there you go, Tasuki-san!"

At that, Tasuki looked at Chiriko and Kazumi in suspicion. "Eh? Me? Doing something wrong? Never! No fuckin' way!" He began shaking his head violently from side to side. "The great Tasuki never does anything wrong!"

The younger seishi came up behind him and looked down at the poor disfigured and shriveled up vegetables on the counter before Tasuki in great distaste. He shook his head. "That's not what these vegetables illustrate, Tasuki-san."

Playfully, Chiriko scooped all of the vegetables onto a plate and placed it on the empty table behind them. "These will be Exhibit A!" he proclaimed cheerfully.

Next, Chiriko picked up another plate that held a fish burnt so badly, it was almost a pure black. When the young seishi held the fish by the tail, it broke off. "…and this will be Exhibit B!" he continued, ignoring the glare that Tasuki shot him.

Kazumi finally got into it and held up a handful of deflated beans. "Exhibit C!"

"And this is Exhibit D!"

"Ah! Chiriko-sama! This will be Exhibit E!"

Chiriko poked another fish that had undergone Tasuki's cooking and made a face. It was only half-done. Literally. From the head of the fish down to it's midsection, the fish was fresh and raw. From the midsection down to it's tail, however…it was black. "I don't have a logical explanation for how you managed to cook a fish this way, Tasuki-san, but this is certainly the very first time that I have ever witnessed such a thing."

Kazumi came up and stood beside Chiriko. He poked the fish in wonder. "How did this happen?" He stared back and forth between Tasuki and the fish for several seconds. Finally, he stopped and held his head in his hands. "He's worse than Miaka-sama." He murmured.

The dark-haired youth hadn't realized that he had said the comment out loud. Only when Chiriko erupted with laughter and a bolt of fire rushed over his head did he realize that he did.

"WHY YOU-!!! REKKA SHINEN!"

Kazumi ducked and leapt out of the way. "I'M SORRY!!!" He yelled as he ran around the kitchen, Tasuki right at his heels.

"You're not getting' away that easily! REKKA SHINEN!"

Soon, the once empty table was filled with examples of how bad a cook Tasuki really was. Placing his hands on his hips, Chiriko smiled at the red-faced bandit before him. Kazumi stood beside him, a smile of satisfaction on his face though he was badly burnt. "Well…?"

There was a long silence.

"It doesn't mean anything." Tasuki looked to the side with his nose in the air. "I was just practicing."

Chiriko and Kazumi facevaulted.

Just then, all three boys heard footsteps running towards them and all of them barely had time to brace themselves before Chichiri arrived on the scene, face all flushed from running and some of his hair plastered to his forehead. "Konnichiwa, na no da!" he chirped loudly.

Tasuki "Eeeped!" and hid behind the exhibit table, Chiriko crouched down as well, doing his best to hide the older man from sight.

Kazumi stepped in front of the two struggling seishi and waved his hands, trying to distract Chichiri's attention. "Ah! Chichiri-sama! What brings you here?"

A little confused, Chichiri tilted his head to one side and placed one hand on his hip. "Da, I was hungry, no da,..so I went to the kitchen to get some food! But everyone there told me to come back here, na no da."

"Er…they did?" said Kazumi, looking at Tasuki and Chiriko from the corner of his eye. "Why?"

The monk smiled. "Well, apparently, Tas-chan-"

Tasuki's eyes widened at the pet name that Chichiri used and Chiriko nudged him on the side mischievously.

"-and Chiriko are supposed to be in here learning how to cook, and I wanted to be here to witness and laugh at them ,no da." Bringing a hand up to his chin, Chichiri frowned a little and mused. "But everyone was giggling and sneaking glances at me, na no da…" his voice trailed off.

There was an uncomfortable silence, as Kazumi did not want to say anything that would give Tasuki and Chiriko away and Chichiri was mulling over how everyone was acting over his appearance in the kitchen earlier.

Finally, the monk broke out of his trance-like state and proceeded to walk towards the exhibit table. "Anyway, no da, I'm still hungry…Are these what they did, no da? Where are they, anyway?"

Kazumi quickly stepped in front of Chichiri again and tugged relentlessly on the monk's arm to prevent him from going any further. "NO!"

"Nani, no da?"

The cook looked around frantically before his attention settled on the soup quietly simmering on one of the stoves. "Uh, I meant NOootice the soup, Chichiri-sama! " Kazumi exclaimed, still tugging on the monk's arm.

"Okay, no da." Chichiri looked at the soup for several seconds without saying anything. Kazumi sweatdropped.

"There!" the blue-haired man said happily. "Now that I'm done noticing the soup, no da, can I please see what's on the table, no da?"

Kazumi's dark eyes widened and he quickly acquired a large bowl full of the soup. Holding it up to Chichiri, he said "Here! You said that you were hungry, would you like to have some soup?"

Chichiri looked down at the young cook in amusement. "Oh no, that's okay, no da. I'm not really that hungry anymore." He began to move towards the exhibit table again.

"WAIT!"

"What is it now, no da?"

Kazumi could see that behind Chichiri's back, Tasuki and Chiriko were quietly crawling out from behind the table and making their way out of the kitchen. "I insist that you try some of this soup, Chichiri-sama!" Kazumi cried out.

"But I'm not that hungry anymore, no da!" Chichiri said weakly as he backed away and begun to turn around.

In order to stop the monk from seeing the other seishi, Kazumi accidentally-on-purpose "spilled" the entire bowl of soup down Chichiri's shirt.

"DAAAAAAA!" Chichiri cried, trying to rescue as much of his shirt as possible.

Kazumi put on an apologetic face. "Oh, I am so sorry, Chichiri-sama! Here!" the cook grabbed a piece of cloth that just happened to be nearby and began rubbing down the entire front of Chichiri's shirt. "Let me help you!"

The blue-haired monk sighed and held up his shirt, deciding that it was beyond salvation already. Kazumi had somehow managed to spill the soup down the entire front of his shirt, and now, it was totally soaked. "I'm going to have to take it off, no da. Do you have an extra shirt somewhere that I could borrow in the meantime, no da?"

Hearing this, Tasuki suddenly stopped in his tracks as his heart began beating wildly in his chest. "Fuck." He groaned. Now he couldn't get away even if he wanted to, which he did, actually. He couldn't bear the thought of Chichiri finding out what a lousy cook he was, although the kawaii monk probably knew that already.

Cursing under his breath, Tasuki reached out and tapped Chiriko's shoulder.

"What?" Chiriko mouthed.

Tasuki gave him a frustrated look and gestured towards Chichiri, who still had his back to them and was already starting to take off his shirt.

The younger seishi groaned as Tasuki slunk back down behind one of the tables to watch, a bit of drool escaping his mouth.

Meanwhile, Kazumi was watching the comical pantomime that Tasuki and Chiriko had going on behind Chichiri's back and was trying to contain his laughter.

Chichiri's voice broke into his thoughts. "Ah, Kazumi? Do you have an extra shirt, no da?"

Kazumi once again looked at the monk bowed hastily. "Hai! I'll go and get it right away, Chichiri-sama!" He began to run out of the room, but then he stopped and turned back to Chichiri, a puzzled expression on his face. "Chichiri-sama? How do you know my name?"

The blue-haired seishi, who had seated himself on one of the chairs gave him a cheerful smile. "One of the cooks told me before I came in, no da."

"Oh." And with that, Kazumi rushed out of the room, grabbing Chiriko by the hand on the way. Tasuki was still distracted so he didn't notice when his younger companion abandoned him.

Once both were out of an earshot, Chiriko yanked his hand out of Kazumi's grip and hissed. "What do you think you're doing? We can't just leave Tasuki-san alone like that! Who knows what he would do with a half-naked Chichiri in the same room? We have to go back!"

Kazumi bowed apologetically. "Gomen ne, Chiriko-sama, but it is for the best." He then locked the door that served as the only means of entrance and exit for the room that they had just come from.

The Tasuki in Chiriko began to kick in and the youngest seishi held up a fist to Kazumi's face. "What do you mean? If anything happens to Tasuki in there…"

"But that's exactly what I want to happen, Chiriko-sama!"

Chiriko lowered his fist and placed a hand behind his head, confused. "Huh? What do you mean?" And just when Kazumi opened his mouth to answer, Chiriko cut him off again. "And please, drop the honorific, Kazumi-san. I am younger than you are, so I should be the one doing all the formalities, not the other way around."

Kazumi's eyes twinkled in amusement and he stooped down a little so that he was at eye level with the shorter boy. Dark strands of hair fell into his line of vision and he quickly pushed them back so that he could see. "Okay…Chiriko. " the young cook said, marveling at how at ease he was around the green-eyed seishi already. He was definitely more comfortable around Chiriko than he would be around Tasuki, that's for sure. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe the best way to bring this Tasuki-Chichiri dilemma to an end would be to force both of them to actually talk to each other about it! And what better way to do that than to-"

"Isolate them together in a locked room!" Chiriko concluded slowly, the corners of his mouth beginning to tilt up slightly.

"Exactly!" Kazumi said gleefully, an impish expression on his face.

The younger seishi began to feel a little dizzy as he looked into the older boy's dark eyes and he clutched his stomach suddenly. Maybe he shouldn't have tried to taste that cake that Tasuki had tried to make. "Ohh…something's wrong with my equilibrium."

Kazumi looked over at him worriedly. "Are you going to be all right?"

"Hai, Kazumi-san." Chiriko said at once. "I shall accompany you as you go and acquire another shirt for Chichiri-san, then would you please be so kind as to accompany me to search for Mitsukake-san afterwards?" Chiriko clutched his stomach as he felt another wave of dizziness hit him when Kazumi touched his arm. "I really don't feel very well."

"Of course!" Kazumi replied enthusiastically. Inside, he was cheering happily. He had managed to meet three of the seishi today and he was going to get to meet another one? Of course, he would agree! In fact, he was feeling quite honored that Chiriko, a Suzaku seishi , had asked a normal kitchen boy such as himself to accompany him as he did his errands!

And so the two boys made their way out of the kitchen to search for a shirt that Chichiri could use, leaving both Tasuki and Chichiri in the locked room.

Alone.



TO BE CONTINUED

NOTES:: Heehee ^_^ Cliffhanger, no da!