The Ham-Ham friends were disappointed to find Hamtaro was not in his cage. Oxnard began to wonder if his premonition about Hamtaro's death in a fiery automobile accident after travelling through time had come true. Suddenly Laura's bedroom door swung open and its owner appeared. She saw all of the Ham-Ham friends sitting on her desk and backed out of the room slowly.

"I wonder if she saw us." Dexter said.

"No, I doubt it. Otherwise she would have screamed in surprise to see a bunch of rodents sitting on--"

Laura burst into the room screaming, lept over her bed, and came down from her aerial surprise with a heft of her father's sledgehammer. Pashmina was unable to finish her sentence. The Ham-Hams fled in terror as their comrades fell to the mighty blows of the little girl's awkwardly wielded mallet. Sam heard the commotion and rushed in from the bathroom. What the hell was going on? Laura was screeching and swinging a large sledgehammer around in a comical fashion. But what was she trying to hit?

Sam's thoughts were interrupted by the upper half of Dexter's body hitting him in the face.

"WHY GOD, WHY? MEDIC! MEDIC! OH GOD! OH GOD! DEXTER! SOMEBODY CALL A HAMBULANCE! NO! DON'T LEAVE ME, DEXTER!" Stan fell on his knees and began crying.

"So cold... So very cold..."

"Dexter! I'm going for help. I'll find a phone and--"

"Stan."

"What? What is it, Dex?"

"Finish me off."

"But, but. No, Dexter, no. Don't talk like that."

"Stan, I'm dying. It's so painful, Stan. Finsh me off."

Stan started to protest, but gave in to his friend's final wish. He took the dogtags off of Dexter and put them around his own neck.

"Stan."

"Yes, Dexter? Yes? What is it, Dex?"

"Tell my wife I love her."

"You're not--"

"Tell her I should've listened to her."

"You're not married, Dex. I uh, I can't do that."

"Please, Stan. Just tell her for me."

"All, all right, Dexter. I'll tell her."

"Tell who?"

"Your wife."

"I'm not married, Stan. You know that."

"Then why did you ask me to tell your wife you love her?"

"I never said that, Stan.

"Fine."

"No, seriously, Stan. Tell her I love her."

"What the fuck is your problem, Dex? I know you're dying, but stop being such a dick."

"Please, Stan. Just tell her this for me."

"Fine. I'll tell her."

"Who? Tell who what?"


**********


"Are you awake? Hamtaro?"

Hamtaro's eyes opened slowly. He was on his back; Old Gluey was standing over him.

"Where? Where am I? What happened?" He sat up and looked around.

"Overindulgence, Hamtaro."

He looked down. "Why are my clothes on backwards?"

"Um."

"Why am I wearing clothes to begin with?"

"Those aren't... yours?"

"No. I don't wear clothes."

"Oh. Hm, that's right. I guess I forgot."

"Did you put these clothes on me?"

"Well, yes. The first time anyway."

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. Look, I have to go. I'll be back later. Lock the door when you leave."

Old Gluey removed his tiny wallet and threw some tiny dollar bills at Hamtaro and left. After ten minutes of sitting in a stupor and rubbing his head, Hamtaro stood up and walked to the door. For some reason it was very painful for him to move anything below his torso, and the backwards shirt he donned was less than savory. As he left the mouse house he couldn't help but wonder, "Just what the hell happened to me?"

After an hour of limping back to the vent Hamtaro was able to crawl through the shaft that led to the commissary. Finally he would be able to gather the tools he'd need for his coup of the facility, but first he needed to coerce the cooks into helping him.