Chapter 12

A/N: Last chapter of this story. Sad, sad, sad. But don't worry. There's a sequel. If I ever get it written. Many thanks to Naria for her wonderful pictures of Snape that she drew me a long time ago, which were the inspiration for part of this chapter.

alone \A*lone"\, a. [All + one. OE. al one all allone, AS. [=a]n one, alone. See All, One, Lone.] 1. Quite by one's self; apart from, or exclusive of, others; single; solitary; -- applied to a person or thing.

Alone on a wide, wide sea. --Coleridge.

It is not good that the man should be alone. --Gen. ii. 18.

2. Of or by itself; by themselves; without any thing more or any one else; without a sharer; only.

Man shall not live by bread alone. --Luke iv. 4.

The citizens alone should be at the expense. --Franklin.

3. Sole; only; exclusive. [R.]

God, by whose alone power and conversation we all live, and move, and have our being. --Bentley.

4. Hence; Unique; rare; matchless. --Shak.

Note: The adjective alone commonly follows its noun.

A shaft of light slanted into Rebecca's eyes. She squinted them open. The light came from a candle, sitting ion the table beside the bed where she lay. On her other side was Severus. Asleep.

She watched as the flickering light played over his features. He looked so peaceful, so vulnerable in his sleep. One hand was folded under his chin; the sheet only half covered his bare chest, and his hair was thrown back from his face. He looks like a child, she marveled. He's so beautiful. So beautiful that a tear trickled from the corner of her eye and in a moment she was sobbing.

Sobbing for the death of a girl she had only begun to know. Sobbing for the death of her arch enemy. Sobbing with relief that the Dark Lord's reign was over at last. Sobbing from fear he might return one day. Sobbing for all the years she had spent friendless. Sobbing because she had been afraid to live in the magical community. Sobbing for the heavy burden placed upon them all. Sobbing for the man she loved. But most of all, sobbing for herself, for what she had become. An accomplice to the most unspeakable evil. A passive nonentity. Powerless to save Severus from himself. Weak. Fearless, but weak. She had traded her integrity for love, all but become a Death Eater herself, and she hated herself for it.

The sound of her tears woke Severus, and he wordlessly gathered her into his arms. She wept against his chest until she had cried herself to sleep again.

When she woke a second time, she immediately noticed Severus. He lay with his head propped up on his hand, watching her. "Morning," he whispered.

"Is it?"

He nodded. "There's no sunlight, as we're in the dungeons." There was a trace of mockery in his smile. "But yes, it is morning."

She sighed heavily. "Tell me last night didn't happen."

"It would be cruel of me to let you think that." He sat up, and so did she. Gently he took her face between his hands. "It's all over, now, though. For a while, anyway. Dumbledore sent the Potter boy to live with relatives. The ministry is searching for Black-"

"Sirius?" she cried.

"Yes, Sirius Black. They think he was the Potters' betrayer. That fool Pettigrew has them all fooled." He threw back his head and laughed hysterically. "Even when good wins, evil manages to triumph."

Panic was beginning to seep into Rebecca's veins. "You've got to tell the Ministry! They'll send Sirius to Azkaban."

"I'm not telling them anything to save his hide. You tell them if it's so important to you." Rebeca was shocked.

"This is no time for petty jalousies!" She cried. "I can't tell them anything without implicating myself. You can keep an innocent man from going to Azkaban, Sev!"

Severus exploded. "He's not as innocent as you like to pretend, Rebecca. You're forgetting that he almost killed me in school. And how am I supposed to tell them anything without implicating me?"

"It was a prank Severus. Besides, you are guilty!" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

All the emotion drained from his face as he took a step towards her. "You silly little girl. Do you really think I could be so petty as to heave an innocent man into Azkaban over a schoolboy grudge? Do you really think I have no conscience?" The calm with which he spoke was more terrifying than if he had screamed and threatened to curse her. She suddenly knew with chilling certainty, that he truly was a Death Eater.

"So they finally got you," she whispered. "I should have known you weren't strong enough to hold out against them. Look at you. Every inch the Death Eater. Evil incarnate. The Devil's advocate. A wanted man. The walking dead. Soulless." She stalked towards him as she spat the insults at him. His face was entirely impassive, but she could see each barb hit the target. His heart. She was doing irrevocable damage to his heart, but the disgust she felt for him, and for herself for believing in him, kept her from stopping. "I loved you. I thought you felt the same way. But you're incapable of love. Just like Potter said. You truly are-"

"-Without conscience." He finished for her. "I know." He turned in a swirl of robes and moved to the fire. There was a ringing silence in which Rebecca battled with herself, debating whether to take back what she had said, but as she opened her mouth to apologize, he spoke. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I never did love you. Perhaps I am incapable of love. Maybe you were just the first person to show me a bit of human kindness, and I mistook it for love. Perhaps we both just projected that into my feelings as well. After all, you never did care about what I was feeling, did you? All you needed was someone to listen to your pitiful whining about how bad life was; someone to snog when you were feeling bad; someone whose body you could use, you pathetic whore. I have a suggestion for you."

"I don't want to hear it."

He told her anyway. "Next time, why don't you try to make friends?"

"What would you know about friends?" she sneered. What he had said had surprised her more than hurt her, but as the meaning of his words sank in, she wanted nothing more than to lash back at him.

A frightening, evil smile crept onto his face. "I have friends, Rebecca. Friends in high places. Who would as soon kill you as look at you. Remember that before you cross me. They may be the scum of the earth, but what better for the likes of me?"

Those last words hurt her more deeply than anything he had said, because they were directed at the man she loved, rather than at her.

"I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did."

She was stunned into silence. Because, of course, he was right. She had meant every word she had said, and so had he, and they both knew it.

After a moment, he tossed her wand to her. "Your flatmate'll be wondering where you are."

"I didn't-" she stopped herself.

"Goodbye, Becca." The use of such an endearing name froze her. She felt that when she turned and left the room, as she must do, she would leave half of her soul there, half dressed, and looking like a perfect devil. Maybe this was for the best then, she reasoned, I can live without him. I'll prove it to him. . .to myself. With all the calm and stoicism she could muster, she bade him farewell. "Goodbye, Sev. Severus."

When she had pulled the door to his chamber fast behind her, she slumped against it and sank to the floor, her body wracked with silent sobs. Who am I kidding? I think my soul just committed suicide. On the other side of the door, Severus had also slid to the floor, and was staring at his hands, feeling he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life. He would remember forever the brittle dignity in her voice as she said his name for the last time. I was wrong. I still have a heart. But she took it with her when she left. Funny how she made her own prediction come true. I'm every inch the Death Eater.

A/N: Well, on that cheerful note, my story ends. For thirteen years, when she gets the letter from Dumbledore, which triggers the flashback that is Slytherin Girl. Remember that? Brace yourselves; it may be a while before I get it finished and posted. And when I do, you'll like me even less. . .