Link: Oh joy! We are riding!

Tatl: Where did that come from?

Link: The wind blowing around my mass, the smell of the grass, the swaying of the horse under my-

Tatl: Just stop while you're ahead. You are not a poet.

Malon: Link, it was beautiful! Serenade me!!!

Link: What's a serenade?

Zelda: You've confused him Malon! How mean!

Tatl: It's not that hard to do!

Malon: Sorry Link, I forgot about your...condition. But you're still hot!

Tatl: Oh god no.

Link: Look! Up ahead! Is that the entrance to the temple Zelda?

Zelda: No Link, that's a rock.

Link: Oh.

Rudo: *appears from behind rock* Hello Zelda

Link: Hi Rudo! Hmm...three women fighting for my love, all desperate and crazed, two of whom will be heartbroken if I don't choose them. SWEET!

Rudo: *pulls Link off horse by tunic collar* Okay buddy, let's get one thing straight! I hate you even though we're married. You are a complete imbecile and I want nothing to do with you! I was young and naive, and you took advantage off me @$$ hole! And don't you dare think you're getting away with divorce, because that's just not fair! And I'm a princess!

Link: uh...erm...Rudo?

Rudo: WHAT!?

Link: You're hurting me.

Rudo: Oh *drops Link*

Zelda: Well, that takes care of one of the competition. Hmm, maybe if I bring her along she'll get rid Malon for me. Hey! Psycho! We're going to the bug temple, wanna come?

Rudo: Hmm...I can't embarass myself and divorce Link, but if he dies in the call of duty, then I'm single again!

Rudo: Whoo Hoo! Let's go!

Link: *whimpers and gets back on horse* D@mn! Another run in my tights! 12th time this week! Hey Zelda, when we get back, could I borrow some more of your nylons?

Zelda: Sure

Rudo: Hey Link, mind if I ride behind you on your horse?

Link: Considering that you're a psycho who hates me and almost killed me a minute ago, why not?

Rudo: Goooood. *Raises large metal object over Link's head, about to smash him*

ZCrystal: A low tree branch hits Rudo in the face. ( Can't have the hero die!...yet! Bwahahahahaha!!! )

Link: Oh, low tree branch, watch out! And, ZCrystal, I kinda heard that.

ZCrystal: Oh. Sorry, I'll keep my maniacal laughing down to a minimum.

Rudo: Ouch, I'm in pain here! *drops metal object*

Zelda: Hey Link! We're almost there!

Tatl: Thank god, I can't stand this! I miss my booze! But no...guardian faeries don't drink! D@mn you Deku Tree!

Malon: Here's a nice refreshing drink of Lon-Lon milk!

Tatl: What the-? I thought she was the normal one!

Malon: *stuffs Tatl into a FULL milk bottle* Now that idiot won't interrupt me and Linky again!

Tatl: *ding! ding!*

Stay tuned for the conclusion (hopefully) of the quest! Will anything...anything happen? Probably not, but I know you laughed at least once!