Disclaimer: I don't own the characters etc...
Part 5 (The rest because I am sick of putting it in parts)
Seifer: Hey Squall isn't the leader and I let him tell me what to do.
Quistis walks away.
Seifer: Wait.Hey Squall didn't make a place for us to meeet.
Quistis: SEIFER.it's meet.
Seifer: What did I say?
Quistis: You said meet with three E.
Seifer: The same noise came out.
Quistis: Yes, but that is not the point. The point is.
Seifer: I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BLOODY POINT IS.
Quistis: Let's go ahead.
Seifer: WHATEVER.
Squall: I HEARD THAT.
*
Selphie: I don't like this place.
Zell: Me neither.
Seifer: I HATE YOU SQUALL.
Irvine: Oh my god.
Selphie: What?
Irvine: Squall is the killer.
Zell: Why would you say that?
Irvine: Didn't you hear what Seifer just said?
Selphie: Yeah. So? He just said that he hated Squall.
Zell: Yeah. He's always hated Squall.
Irvine: I bet Squall killed Seifer.
Selphie: Now I would have thought that would be the other way round.
Zell: You mean Seifer killed Squall?
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: I do have the book with me.
Selphie: You mean the book "And then there were none"?
Irvine: Yeah, I think you should read it.
Zell and Selphie: WHAT?
Irvine: Do you think we'll find anything here?
Zell: From the thief? No.
Irvine: So why not sit down and read a nice book?
Selphie: Yeah. I'll read it.
Zell: I won't.
Irvine and Selphie: Chicken-wuss.
Zell: Ok, just give me the book.
*
Quistis: Seifer calm down.
Seifer: SQUALL I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.
Quistis: Stop.
Seifer: NOW I'M MAD.
Quistis: Why?
Seifer: BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.
Quistis: Ha ha ha.
Seifer: Why you little.
Seifer takes out his gunblade.
Quistis: AAAAAAA.
Seifer: I will kill you.
Quistis: Ok, ok. Ummmmm. Squall is the most stupid thing in Balamb Garden.
Seifer: I know that. But I'm glad you agree with me.
Seifer puts back his gunblade.
Quistis: Thank god.
Seifer: Whatever.
*
Rinoa: How could you forget to say where we would meet?
Squall: You know me.
Rinoa: Yes I do know you. You're stupid, fat and a big twit.
Squall: Then how come I'm your boyfriend?
Rinoa: I don't know yet so don't ask.
Squall: Why don't you look for someone else?
Rinoa: I have Seifer.
Squall starts talking to himself.
Squall: Am I putting ideas in her head?
Rinoa: Yes.
Squall: Shit.
*
Selphie: Oh, I didn't want him to die.
Irvine: Who?
Selphie: Philip.
Zell: Wait Vera is the only person left.
Selphie: She's the killer.
Zell: Wait! The last line says: One little nigger boy left all alone He went and hanged himself and then there were none.
Selphie: Vera isn't the killer? Then who is ?
Irvine: Hehe.
Zell: What are you reading?
Irvine: Me? Playboy.
Selphie: IRVINE.
Irvine: Bad.
Zell: What?
Irvine: A magazine that says how bad playboy is.
Selphie: Then why would they call it playboy?
Irvine: No, it says bad playboy.
Zell: I only see playboy.
Irvine: That is because the bad is on the other side.
Selphie: Why would they put the word bad at the back of the magazine if it's called bad playboy?
Irvine: So that the guys open the playboy and find out that it is saying how bad playboy is.
Zell: Then how do you know that the magazine is called bad playboy and not playboy bad?
Irvine: Because. Oh BACK TO YOUR BOOK.
*
Fujin: LOOK.
Raijin: At what?
Fujin: IN THE SHADOWS.
Raijin: What is in the shadows?
Fujin: I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WENT IN THE SHADOWS SOMEONE MIGHT JUMP OUT AND KILL YOU.
Raijin: Mama save me.Why would you say that?
Fujin: COS'THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOK I READ.
Raijin: I hope I won't die.
Fujin: WHY SHOULD YOU DIE?
Raijin: Well the book Irvine read.
Fujin: .MADE YOU CHICKEN OUT.
Raijin: No. I read it.
Fujin: REALLY?
Raijin: Yeah.
Fujin: TELL ME ABOUT IT.
*
Quistis: Oh no.
Seifer: See this is what Squall forgot to tell us.
Quistis: Damn the two-way path.
Seifer: Wanna go left or right?
Quistis: Left.
Quistis and Seifer go down the left path and bump into something.
Quistis: What is that?
Seifer: I don't know.
Voice: Now it's time for someone to get hugged by a bear.
Quistis and Seifer: Three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there where two.
Seifer: Runnnnnnnnnn.
Quistis: For the first time I agree with you.
Quistis and Seifer run away.
Raijin: I wonder who that was.
*
Rinoa: Squall, Did you just hear Seifer?
Squall: Maybe he's dead.
Rinoa: Why does someone have to die?
Squall: Because then we can talk about the death.
Rinoa: Why?
Squall: I have a question.
Rinoa: Ask it.
Squall: Why do girls always say why?
Rinoa: .Why do boys always have a problem with what the girl says when it's usually right?
Squall: I am not a boy.
Rinoa: Are you a girl?
Squall: No, I am a teenager.
Rinoa: You know, when you say I am a teenager it can also mean that you are a girl.
Squall: Oh. Damn you.
*
Selphie: Oh my god.
Zell: That book was terrifying.
Irvine: You liked it?
Selphie: You keep that book away from me.
Zell: I told you that if you thought you were Vera you would die.
Irvine: Vera? Wasn't she hanged?
Selphie: Yeah.
Zell: Haha. Selphie said she was Vera because she thought Vera wouldn't die.
Selphie: You wanted to be Justice Wargrave.
Zell: So?
Selphie: He was the killer.
Zell: And you?
Selphie: What about me?
Zell: You liked Philip.
Selphie: Yeah, so?
Zell: You shot him.
Selphie: I thought he was the killer.
Zell: Yeah right.
Selphie: I was told to.
Zell: By who? Who would tell you to shoot Philip?
Selphie: THE BOOK.
Irvine: Guys, it's not like you're in the book.
Selphie: But when we read books we take characters and say that that's us.
Irvine: Hell, you don't do that in this book.
Zell: Now you tell us?
Irvine: Did you really think that you were characters as well?
Selphie: You did it to?
Irvine: Yeah.
Selphie: Who were you?
Irvine: Philip.
Zell: Why Philip?
Irvine: Well Philip was the guy that might end up going out with Vera.
Selphie: Are you serious? You chose your character because of a girl?
Irvine: Yeah. Why not?
Zell: Hey, man, can I look at that playboy?
Selphie looks at Zell.
Zell: Bad. The bad playboy.
Irvine: No it's mine.
*
Fujin: WHAT HAPPENED THEN?
Raijin: Vera kicked away the chair.
Fujin: WHY WOULD VERA HANG HERSELF?
Raijin: Let me finish.
Fujin: THAT ISN'T IT?
Raijin: No.
Fujin: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE REST.
Raijin: Ok. If you don't want to hear who the killer is.
Fujin: OH JUST SAY THE REST.
*
Squall: I'm a girl, girl, girl, girl.
Rinoa: You are? I didn't know you where a girl.
Squall: I mean boy. I'm a boy.
Rinoa: But you said you where a teenager, not a boy.
Squall: I hate Rinoa.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Squall: Why? Why is everybody saying whatever?
Rinoa: Because everyone has been with you and you keep saying whatever.
Squall: Why do you have an answer for everything?
Rinoa: Why do you always ask questions?
*
Quistis: What was that?
Seifer: I don't know. But I do know two things.
Quistis: What is the first thing?
Seifer: He was talking about someone dying.
Quistis: I got that too. The second thing is.?
Seifer: We are lost.
Quistis: Ok.
Seifer: What do we do?
Quistis: We go back down and find the entrance and wait for the others to come.
Seifer: What if we bump into that thing again?
Quistis: On second thoughts we go ahead.
Seifer: What if that thing is after us?
Quistis: If we hear it, we hide in the shadows and when it's gone we run to the entrance.
Seifer: I wanna go.
Quistis: Me too.
Seifer: Damn Selphie. If she hadn't shown us this island I wouldn't be taking orders from you.
Quistis: Yeah. Well wasn't that guy talking about the book Irvine read?
Seifer: Yeah.
Quistis: He said it was time for someone to get hugged by the big bear.
Seifer: Yup. The three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Quistis: Two nigger boys?
Seifer: Yeah, two of us left.
Quistis: Seifer are you the killer?
Seifer: No. If anyone died I couldn't have killed them I was stuck here with you.
Quistis: You know it isn't me so don't shoot me.
Seifer: I don't have a gun.
Quistis: How do I know?
Seifer: Don't kill me either.
Quistis: I wish I could kill you.
Seifer: Hey you're lucky I don't have a gun or else you wouldn't have been alive to see this island.
*
Selphie: Irvine, must we go ahead?
Zell: Yeah, must we go ahead? The book gave me the creeps.
Irvine: You to? Ok. Let's go.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell turn around.
Zell: I don't remember this.
Selphie: Why is there a two-way path?
Irvine: I don't remember this do you?
Zell: Who's you?
Irvine: Does it really mater?
Selphie: This house outside was small, right?
Irvine and Zell: Yeah.
Irvine: We have to split up.
Selphie: I'm not going alone.
Zell: Squall said I should come here to stop Irvine from doing anything stupid but I think he meant protect Selphie. So I should go with Selphie.
Irvine: No, you are not leaving me here.
Selphie: Come on Irvine. You're strong.
Irvine: Yeah. I'll go.
Zell: Yeah right. He's strong?
Irvine: I'm not going.
Selphie: Zell why did you say that? Now he won't go.
Irvine: You didn't mean what you just said?
Selphie: No.
Zell: Why don't we all just go right?
Irvine and Selphie: Ok.
*
Squall: I think we should go back.
Rinoa: Are you serious?
Squall: Yeah, I really wanna go.
Rinoa: Me too.
Squall: So we will go.
Rinoa: Yeah.
Squall: Ok. Let's move.
*
Fujin: WANT TO GO BACK.
Raijin: You want to go back?
Fujin: YES.
Raijin: Ok.do we have to?
Fujin: YEAH. DIDN'T YOU READ THE BOOK?
Raijin: I did. You didn't.
Fujin: YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
Raijin: Ok, we will go.
*
Quistis: It's not following us.
Seifer: I know.
Quistis: So we just walk ahead?
Seifer: Yeah, why?
Quistis: I want to leave.
Seifer: Why?
Quistis: They might go without us.
Seifer: We will go ahead.
Quistis: What if we are the only ones left here?
Seifer: Then there isn't much we can do about it. I don't know how to ride a Ragnarok.
Quistis: I do know how to ride a Ragnarok.
Seifer: Forget it. We are not going to leave.
Quistis: What if something happens?
Seifer: You'll protect me.
Quistis: Ok.what? No way.
Seifer: Why not?
Quistis: Because I'm a girl.
Seifer: So what?
Quistis: You should be my knight in.the ragged coat.
Seifer: Why?
Quistis: Because you're a guy.
Seifer: But Rinoa always says come you guys. So you're a guy too.
Quistis: I really hate you.
Seifer: Great, me too. So we'll go ahead.
Quistis: Whatever.
Squall: DID SOMEONE SAY MY WORD? *
Selphie: I think we should have gone left.
Irvine: We went right?
Zell: Yes you twit.
Selphie: Zell, when we get home say: and then there were none.
Zell and Irvine: Why?
Selphie: So that I can buy a chocobo and I won't be thinking about it.
Zell: Ok.
Selphie: And buy a new book to read.
Irvine: Ok.
Zell: I hope we're going the right way.
Selphie: Me too.
Irvine: Maybe we're dreaming.
Selphie: The same dream?
Irvine: Yeah. It happened with Laguna.
Zell: Did you even see Laguna in the dream world?
Irvine: I can't remember.
Selphie: Ellone sent us to the dream world.
Zell: We know.
Irvine: If this is a dream that means there might be girls.
Zell and Selphie: Oh my god.
Irvine: What?
Selphie: Is that all you can think about?
Irvine: Well.Yeah.
Zell: Wait if there are girls in this dream that means that there are hotdogs.
Selphie: If there are hotdogs and girls in a place like THIS.
Zell: Go on. Go on. What is there?
Selphie: Then there is definitely a chocobo.
Zell: You don't need to be in a dream to see a chocobo.
Irvine: Yeah. Why a chocobo?
Selphie: So that I can run you over.
Zell hits Irvine on the head.
Zell: Why did you ask? You.you.you sack of potatoes.
Irvine: She was talking to you.
Zell: Why would she run me over? Why not you?
Irvine: Because she said, " I will run you over". She didn't say " I will run both of you over".
Selphie: Come on. Let's go ahead.
Zell: Yeah but.
Selphie: I'll run both of you over.
Irvine: Is that what you meant the other time or have you just changed you mind?
Selphie: That is what I meant the other time.
Zell: Told you so, Irvine.
Selphie: Both of you SHUT UP.
*
Rinoa: We are at the entrance. Happy?
Squall: No, I'm scared.
Rinoa: I'm going to wait in the Ragnarok.
Squall: I'll come with you.
Rinoa: Squall if there is a killer can I die first?
Squall: Yeah no problem.Wait. If you die first that means that I will be alone.
Rinoa: Yeah.
Squall: Oh no. I will die first.
Rinoa: Ok. I didn't think you would chicken out.
Squall: Grrr.Ok. I'll die last.
Rinoa: Great.
*
Quistis: I think we should walk faster.
Seifer: Quistis, if you can hear anything it's probable a rat.
Quistis: A rat that carries a disease?
Seifer: Is there a rat that doesn't carry a disease?
Quistis: No.
Seifer: Then what's the problem?
Quistis: I don't know yet. Let me think about it.
* Fujin: LIGHT.
Raijin: Were we in the dark?
Fujin: IDIOT.
Raijin: What did I say?
Fujin: LOOK.
Raijin: It's the entrance.
Raijin runs to the door and tries to jump on it.
SPLAT.
Raijin falls on the ground. Fujin walks over to him and looks at him.
Fujin: WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?
Raijin: Hug the door.
Fujin: PEOPLE USUALY KISS THE GROUND.
Raijin: Yeah.
Raijin kisses the ground.
Fujin: YOU KNOW, THE GROUND WAS THERE ALL THE TIME. IF YOU WANTED TO KISS IT YOU COULD HAVE JUST BENT DOWN AND KISSED IT.
Raijin: I hate you white haired freak.
Fujin: LET'S GO TO THE RAGNAROK.
Raijin: Ok.
*
Rinoa: Where do you think Seifer and Quistis are?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Squall? SQUALL.How could you sleep?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Hmmmm.I got it!
Rinoa goes and sits next to Squall.
Rinoa: WHATEVER.
Squall jumps up.
Squall: Who dares to say my word?
Rinoa: I.
Squall: How dare you?
Rinoa: How dare YOU fall asleep?
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Ok. If that's your answer then my answer is whatever.
Squall: Damn.
Rinoa: Hey did you just hear the door of the Ragnarok open?
Squall: You heard it to?
The door of the Ragnarok closes.
Rinoa: Shit.
Squall: What do we do?
Rinoa: Hide. Let's hide.
Squall: Where?
Rinoa: You remember when we painted your face?
Squall: YES.
Rinoa: Well we went up some ropes so that you wouldn't kill us.
Squall: So?
Rinoa: Those ropes are still up there.
Squall: We'll go up them and hide.
Rinoa: At last you got it.
Squall: Hurry, let's go.
*
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: Where?
Seifer: At the entrance.
Quistis: No.
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: I just told you.
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: Can't you see for yourself?
Seifer: No. Are we there yet?
Quistis: Seifer, why are you doing this?
Seifer: What?
Quistis: Why are you saying "are we there yet"?
Seifer: Because I just saw "The return of the mummy".
Quistis: Just.meaning when exactly?
Seifer: Before we left for this journey.
Quistis: And why say "are we there yet"?
Seifer: Because that is what the little boy says.
Quistis: Why does the boy say it?
Seifer: When we get back to Balamb you'll see "The return of the mummy."
Quistis: Ok.
Seifer: Let's go ahead.
Quistis and Seifer walk ahead. Quistis puts on a little smile.
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: No.
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: Why are you doing this to me?
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: Oh no. Your gonna be saying this all the time, aren't you?
Quistis: Yeah. Are we there yet?
*
Selphie: Does anyone know where we're going?
Irvine: No.
Zell: No.
Selphie: If we get lost blame Zell.
Zell: Why me?
Selphie: Because you're the guy who told us to go this way.
Irvine: Stop.
Selphie: Talking? Why should we stop talking?
Irvine: No. Stop walking and whisper.
Selphie and Zell start whispering.
Selphie: By the way why are we whispering?
Irvine: Look.
Zell: At what?
Irvine: That light.
Selphie: So?
Irvine: It's talking.
Selphie: The light?
Zell: Wow. A talking light. We should go up there and photo it.
Irvine: No you twits. There is a guy holding the light.
Selphie: Get down to the point.
Zell: We should hide.
Selphie: Why?
Zell: They're coming closer.
Irvine: Yeah. Let's go and hide in the shadows.
Selphie: Be quiet I wanna hear what they're saying.
Zell: Man, Why don't they put toilets back here?
Irvine: Because you shouldn't want to go to the toilet in the middle of a hall. Also it's not flattering to have a toilet in the middle of the hall.
Selphie: Shut up.
A hooded man walks by. Next to him is a chest that is following him.
Irvine: A walking light, a walking chest.what more do you want?
Hooded man: I'm gonna make a lot of money.
The chest starts talking.
Chest: Yeah.
Zell: Oh my god.
Selphie: Don't freak out yet.
Hooded man: I will make it funny.
Irvine: What the hell is he talking about?
Chest: That sounds more logical.
Zell: What? The talking chest?
The hooded man and the chest walk out of sight.
Selphie: Now you can freak out.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Hooded man: Hmmmm.
Selphie: Oh my god. He's coming back.
Irvine: How do you know it's a guy?
Selphie: Are we going to talk about that now?
The footsteps get closer.
Zell: RUN.
Zell, Irvine and Selphie start running.
Hooded man: Ahh.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell run out of sight.
Hooded man: It's fun playing with them.
Chest: You should tell the boss what happened.
Hooded man: And I thought that my magic powers were useless.
*
Fujin: WE ARE IN THE RAGNAROK.
Raijin( in a sarcastic voice): You don't say.
Fujin: I JUST DID.
Raijin: Hey did you hear that?
Fujin: YEAH. IT WAS LIKE TWO PEOPLE CLIMBING A ROPE.
Raijin: Whatever.
*
Raijin: Whatever.
Rinoa: Squall.
Squall: What?
Rinoa: Don't say, "that's my word".
Squall: But it IS my word.
Rinoa: Wasn't that Raijin's voice?
Squall: I think so. Should we get down?
Rinoa: No. We have to be sure.
Squall: Please can we get down?
Rinoa: Why do you want to get down so much?
Squall: Because my butt is hurting.
Rinoa: Squall, your butt always hurts.
Squall starts crying.
Squall: That's not true.
Rinoa: It is.
Squall: It's not. Waaaaaaaaa.
Rinoa: What is it now?
Squall: My girlfriend said that my butt was always hurting.
Rinoa: Well your lucky your girlfriend didn't say you have a big butt.
Squall: Gulp.
*
Quistis: What time is it?
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: NOOO.
Seifer: It should be morning.
Quistis: It was night?
Seifer: groan
Quistis: What?
Seifer: And then they say you're the bright one.
Quistis: I am. I've been taught better then you.
Seifer: Are you forgetting something?
Quistis: I never forget.what is it?
Seifer: YOU TAUGHT US.
Quistis: .As I was saying the best teacher has taught you.
Seifer: Yeah right.
Quistis: Oh my god.
Seifer: What?
Quistis: Is that the door?
Seifer: Woohoo.
Quistis: I don't believe it.
Seifer: I would kiss the ground, but I can see someone has already kissed it.
Quistis: Let's go in the Ragnarok.
*
Selphie: I think we are far away from that guy.
Irvine: It's a girl.
Selphie: Then why was it talking with a voice like yours?
Zell: Because Irvine is gay.
Irvine: WHATTTTTTTTTT?
Zell: Yeah. Don't you remember when you where hitting on me?
Irvine: I am gonna say this for the last time I was not hitting on you.
Selphie starts crying.
Irvine and Zell: What?
Selphie: We will never get out of this place. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Irvine: You're right.
Irvine starts crying.
Zell: Oh my god.
Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Zell: Ok. I'll join in as well.
Zell starts crying as well.
Zell, Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Selphie: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Zell: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Selphie: It's not a contest.
*
Raijin: My Ragnarok!
Raijin plops down and kisses the Ragnarok.
Fujin: WE DIDN'T JUST GET HERE.
Raijin: But I forgot to kiss the Ragnarok.
Fujin: SO YOU TOOK ME TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE RAGNAROK JUST SO YOU COULD KISS IT?
Raijin: Yeah.
Fujin: TELL ME WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED KISSING IT.
Raijin: Ok, I've finished.
*
Squall: .
Rinoa: I can't hear anything. Squall can you hear anything?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Squall.
Squall: .
Rinoa: Oh my god. You sleep on the ground. That is ok, but you sleep in the air.
Squall snores loudly.
Rinoa: Shut up. They'll hear us.
Squall: What?
Rinoa: You woke up!
Fujin: RINOA.
Rinoa: Fujin?
Raijin: Get down here, ya know.
Squall and Rinoa get off the ropes.
Rinoa: Let's go into the driving room.
Squall: Whatever.
They all go into the driving room.
Rinoa: I don't know how to drive the Ragnarok.
Fujin: ME NEITHER.
Squall: I don't know.
Raijin: Me neither, ya know.
Rinoa: No I don't know! Great.
Squall: Wanna sleep?
Rinoa: That's what you've been doing all day.
Fujin: NO.
Raijin: I don't wanna sleep.
*
Quistis: Ahh. The entrance of the Ragnarok.
Seifer: Damn.
Quistis: What?
Seifer: I was gonna kiss the ground here but it's been kissed.
Quistis: Whatever.
Squall: THAT'S MY WORD.
Seifer: Was that Squall?
Seifer and Quistis run to the driving room.
Quistis: Oh my god.
Squall: Hi.
Seifer: You're all here?
Fujin: SELPHIE, IRVINE AND ZELL AREN'T.
Raijin: Oh yeah, I forgot about them.
Rinoa: Did you find anything?
Quistis: No. What about you?
Squall: Nothing.
Raijin: Nothing.
Seifer: Let's go.
Squall: But, what about Selphie, Irvine and Zell?
Quistis: We'll wait here.
Raijin: Damn. Do we have to?
Fujin: YES.
Rinoa: Maybe we should look for them.
Everyone: NOOOO.
*
Selphie: Hey. Do you think we should wait for someone to come and get us?
Zell: Not again.
Irvine: Yeah.and we can't scream because the hooded girl will come.
Selphie: It's a man.
Irvine: It's a girl.
Zell: It's a thing.
Selphie and Irvine: Ok.
Zell: Now walk.
Irvine: Wait.
Selphie: What? Is it a walking chest?
Zell: Is it a walking light?
Irvine: No. It's the.WOOHOO.
Selphie: He's lost it.
Zell: Yup.
Irvine: Is that the.
Selphie: What?
Zell: Say it.
Irvine: Entrance.
Selphie: Huh?
Zell: Irvine, are you felling ok?
Irvine: It's the entrance.
Zell: Where?
Irvine: Well it's not behind me.
Zell: Ahh. Yes.
Zell and Selphie turn around.
Selphie: It is the door but.
Zell and Irvine: What?
Selphie: Isn't that shape on it like Raijin?
Irvine: Yeah.
Zell: Ok. So what, let's just go.
Irvine: The book doesn't say: Six little nigger boys stuck in a bee-hive One falls on the door and then there were five.
Selphie: Anyway, I'm going in the Ragnarok.
Irvine: I'll come with you.
Zell: Me too.
*
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Rinoa: Ok, Britney Spears.
Squall: I just can't sleep.
Seifer: I wish you were crazy.
Quistis: Why?
Seifer: Because then he wouldn't mind me killing him.
Squall: My heart is jumping.
Raijin: It is?
Rinoa: Your heart looks ok to me.
Squall: Whatever.
Seifer goes to take out his gunblade. Rinoa straightens her hair.
Squall: STOP.
Everyone stops.
Quistis: Say what it is. My pen is gonna slip and I don't want the next test to come out all messy.
Rinoa: I want to straighten my hair.
Seifer: This gunblade is heavy.
Squall: You drive me crazy babe.
Zell: Was that the line in the song?
Squall: Yeah. Yay, yay oooo.
Everyone goes on doing what they wanted to do.
Rinoa straitens her hair and Seifer takes out his gunblade.
Seifer: Hehe.
Seifer charges at Squall.
Squall: Oh no.
Squall runs around the room singing with Seifer close behind.
Seifer: When I'm finished with you, you'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Seifer: If you keep running around the room I'll drive you mad.
Squall: Crazy but it feels alright, babe thinking of you keeps me up all night.
Rinoa: Squall has feelings for Seifer.
Seifer: Rinoa, when I'm done with Squall you're next.
Rinoa: Shit.
Suddenly Irvine comes in the room.
Irvine: Hi guys.
Squall runs next to Irvine and tapes him on the arm.
Irvine: Hi Squall.
Squall points at Seifer.
Squall: Look.
Irvine turns around and sees Seifer.
Irvine: AAAAAAA.
Squall continues running around the room with Irvine behind him screaming and Seifer running after them trying to squash them.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: COME HERE.
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Selphie and Zell come in the room.
Selphie: Why is Seifer chasing Irvine and why is Squall singing Britney Spears?
Quistis: Come, sit down and watch the show.
Zell: Ok.
Squall: Oh babe, babe I'm so into you.
Rinoa: He has started the song from the beginning.
Seifer: I'll squash you like I squashed my watermelon.
Zell: I bet he sat on it.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAA. SELPHIEEEEEEE. SAVE ME.
Quistis: We should get Irvine a bodyguard.
Raijin: Yeah. We should, ya know.
Fujin: FUNNY.
Seifer: Come over here.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAA, Squall run faster.
Squall: The earth is moving but I can't feel the ground.
Rinoa: Then how do you know the earth is moving?
Quistis: You can't feel the ground?
Zell: I wonder what that feels like.
Fujin: EVERYONE IS LOSING IT.
Raijin: BWAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA.
After one hour.
Seifer: Time out.
Squall: We'll continue later. You drive me crazy.
Irvine: Ok. Just stop singing.
Squall: I can't. It's stuck in my head. My heart is jumping.
Squall, Seifer and Irvine sit down.
Squall: Rinoa.she's asleep.
Irvine: Selphie WAKE UP.
Seifer jumps up in the air.
Seifer: Quistis is asleep.
Squall: And that makes you happy?
Seifer: Yeah.
Irvine: Why?
Seifer: No Quistis = No tests.
Squall, Irvine and Seifer: WOOHOO.
Quistis: What?
Squall: Oh no.
Selphie: What happed?
Rinoa: Yeah. What is so bad?
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Raijin: What is Seifer chasing you?
Seifer: You'll pay for that Raijin.
Fujin: WHATEVER.
Zell: Hey we didn't tell the guys about the hooded man.
Selphie: You would remember him wouldn't you?
Irvine: Ok. We'll tell them.
Rinoa: What is it?
Selphie tells them about the hooded man.
Squall: A walking chest?
Seifer: Did you guys drink?
Zell: No.
Irvine: Is there a toilet in the Ragnarok?
Raijin: No.
Selphie: Anyway. We are still on this island.
Everyone: Let's get out of here.
Selphie starts the Ragnarok.
Quistis: You could have told me you would start the Ragnarok.
Selphie: Why?
Quistis: I was writing the test and my pen slipped.
Selphie: So? Write the test on a different piece of paper.
Quistis: I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER.
Seifer: Hehehe.
Quistis: Shut up.
Squall: Who were you talking to?
Quistis: Everyone.
Selphie: Guys the Ragnarok is gonna fall.
Everyone: What?
Selphie: Put your seatbelts on.
Everyone puts their seatbelts on.
Irvine: I DON'T HAVE A SEATBELT.
Selphie: That is because you're in the wrong seat.
Irvine: What difference does it make?
Selphie: Well first you are sitting on the table and that does not have a seatbelt.
Irvine runs into his seat and puts his seatbelt on.
Quistis: Where are we falling?
Selphie: We are falling in that desert.
Rinoa: Shit.
Selphie: It's the only desert that has thieves.
Squall: What more do we want?
Selphie: We are falling.1.2.3.
The Ragnarok starts falling.
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Irvine: You should put toilets here.
Seifer: Wow. Look down.
Irvine looks down.
Irvine: MAMMAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: HEHE.
Irvine: I need to go to the toilet.
Rinoa: Well you can't in the middle of the desert.
The Ragnarok falls with a big crash.
BANG.
Rinoa: Stupid author! You said it fell with a crash.
Author: Whatever.
Squall: Hey.
Selphie: Get off the Ragnarok.
Seifer: Ok.
They get off the Ragnarok.
Irvine: It's weird.
Raijin: This place?
Fujin: YEAH.
Rinoa: Ok. Let's search.
Squall: Why do you always want to search?
Rinoa: You got a problem?
Squall: Errr.no.
Irvine: Look, I'm ok with searching.but do we have to split up?
Seifer: No.
Zell: It's ok if you don't want to split up.
Irvine: Really?
Zell: Yeah. We always end up splitting up.
Irvine: Damn.
Selphie: What happens if we forget where the Ragnarok is?
Seifer: We'll have to find it.
After a few hours of searching.
Squall: Are you bored?
Irvine: I'm playing with my playboy.
Irvine looks at Selphie.
Irvine: Bad.
Selphie: I'm thinking of what to do with the Ragnarok.
Fujin: BORED.
Raijin: Me too.
Seifer: I'm playing.
Squall: With what?
Seifer: I have a doll of me and a doll of you. I'm killing you.
Zell: Hotdogs in the air, hotdogs on the ground.there everywhere.
Squall: Ok we got it Zell.
Quistis: I'm thinking of the new test.
Squall: Rinoa, what are you looking at?
Rinoa: See that cloud of smoke?
Everyone looks at the cloud of smoke.
Selphie: It must be the thieves.
Seifer: Cool. Let's go up there.
Irvine: I won't go.
They all run up to the cloud of smoke.
Seifer: Irvine is heavy. Give me a hand.
Squall and Seifer carry Irvine up to the cloud of smoke.
Rinoa: I can't see anyone.
Selphie: Ok. But we should hide because I can see someone coming.
They hide behind a little mountain of sand.
Irvine: I won't go.
Seifer: Is your brain still there?
Irvine: Yeah.
Squall: Look if you don't shut up we'll find ourselves in a pot ready to be eaten.
Irvine: Raw?
Quistis: Yes.
Fujin: YUCK.
Rinoa: Look! Now you've made him cry.
Irvine: WAAAAAAA.
Zell: SHHHHHH.
A man goes near the fire.
Selphie: That is the hooded guy.
Irvine: How can you tell?
Selphie: Because he's wearing the same hooded cloak.
Irvine: Oh yeah. That is him.
Zell: He's been on a diet.
Selphie and Irvine: Huh?
Zell: He's thinner.
Selphie examines the guy.
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: I told you it's a woman.
Squall: Hey look! here comes another hooded guy.
The hooded men sit down.
Hooded man: Well?
Man in black cape: What?
Hooded man: I want money.
Man in black cape: Here.
He hands the hooded man some money.
Zell: Wow.
Squall: Seifer! Help me hold back Zell.
Zell: MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!
Hooded man: Good.
Man in black cape: See ya.
The man in the black cape walks away.
Selphie: What Seed rank do you have Zell?
Zell: Rank one.
Seifer: You get 500Gil?
Zell: Yeah.
Raijin: Hehe.
Fujin: FUN.
Rinoa: Fujin is only saying fun.
Squall: Whatever.
Hooded man: He was right.they are fun.
Selphie: Who's they?
The hooded man walks away.
Irvine: Where is he going?
Seifer: Somewhere.
Zell: Irvine should get his own pick up toilet.
Rinoa: Oh, yeah. He should carry it around with him.
Selphie: Do you think there is a chocobo forest here?
Squall: A chocobo forest in the middle of the desert?
Selphie: Ok. Do you think there is a chocobo desert here?
Everyone: No.
Squall: You think we should take out the GFs?
Seifer: No.
Shiva: Why not?
Seifer: Because you'll freeze us.
Ifrit: I'm here.
Irvine: HOT, HOT, HOT.
Rinoa: Cold, cold, cold.
Shiva and Ifrit: Shut up.
Squall: You shut up.
Quistis: Squall wasn't I teaching you something that said love and speak nicely to your GF?
Cactus: Ohhh, Quistis.
Cactus hugs Quistis.
Quistis: OUCHHHHHHHHHHH. Get off me you spiky thing.
Squall: What where you saying Quistis?
Quistis: Nothing.
Seifer: Which GF is junctioned onto who?
Quistis: I have Cactus and Doomtrain.
Squall: I have Shiva and Siren.
Seifer: I know I have Ifrit.
Selphie: You took him from me! Anyway I have tonberry.
Zell: I've got Quezacotl.
Irvine: I've got Pandemona and Bahamaut.
Squall: I was wondering where he went.
Irvine: I feel safe with him.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: I have Carbuncle, Brothers, Leviathan and Eden.
Fujin: NOTHING.
Raijin: Yeah. We don't have GFs.
Seifer: Rinoa you have a hundred GFs.
Rinoa: They are friends.
Squall: You took Eden from me.
Rinoa: So what? I took Shiva from you once.
Squall: You're all taking GFs from me.
Eden: Bahamut could you give me some of that popcorn?
Big brother: You want a Pepsi little bro?
Little brother: Yeah. Thanks.
Seifer: You stupid GFs you aren't on vacation.
Shiva: We aren't?
Leviathan: Oh, Yeah. There isn't any sea.
Little brother: Damn.
Quezacotl: We need a vacation.
Quistis: Well if you want a vacation you could help us get out of here.
Shiva: On second thoughts we don't want the vacation so much.
Ifrit: Yeah.
Selphie: Look, you came out to help us and you will.
Carbuncle: So what do we do?
Irvine: Tell us where the Ragnarok is.
Selphie: No, we know where the Ragnarok is.
Irvine: We do?
Squall: Yeah.
Rinoa: Will we go to the Ragnarok of not?
They go to the Ragnarok.
Zell: So.
Raijin: What do we do?
Shiva: Dance.
Ifrit: Sleep.
Carbuncle: Play.
Siren: Sing.
Selphie: Ride a chocobo.
Irvine: Shoot something.
Squall: Whatever.
Seifer: Kill Squall.
Squall: I heard that.
Fujin: ZZZZZZ.
Rinoa: Fujin made her point pretty clear.
Zell: Eat hotdogs.
Quistis: I'LL GIVE YOU A TEST.
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Quistis: Ok. Calm down.
Eden: Why don't you guys just go?
Seifer: Hello? Don't you know that it is out of petrol?
Shiva: It takes petrol?
Squall: Oh no.
They explain everything that happed to the GFs.
Ifrit: Hehe.
Carbuncle starts sniggering.
Shiva: Hahaha.
Big brother: I don't think I've laughed so much in my life.
Little brother: Bwahaha.
Seifer: We didn't tell you the story so that you'd laugh.
Squall: Shut up you stupid GFs.
Zell: Let's look ahead.
Rinoa: Where is ahead?
Selphie: Don't know.
Raijin: What are we going to do now?
Rinoa: Is this the type of fanfiction where you can tell the author to get rid of someone?
Author: No.
Rinoa: Too bad.
Quistis: Yeah, we could have got rid of Raijin.
Selphie: Anyway.let's go up in the lift.
Squall: The lift is for three people.
Fujin: YEAH.
Seifer: I'm going in the lift.
Rinoa: Me too.
Squall: I'll go in the lift to see that Seifer doesn't do anything.
Quistis: If he does give him three slaps from me.
Squall: Ok.
Selphie: I'm not gonna wait for you guys. I'll go up the steps.
Irvine: I'll come.
Zell: I need to lose a kilo.
Quistis: Just one?
Zell: .Or two.
Raijin: Or ten.
Zell: HOW MANY KILOS DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE?
Fujin: TWENTY.
Zell: Gulp.
Quistis: Hehe.
Zell: So everyone is going up the steps except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer (yuck).
Squall: Yeah.
Everyone except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer run up the steps.
Rinoa walks into the lift.
Rinoa: Come on.
Seifer and Squall get stuck in the doorway.
Squall: You're in the doorway!
Seifer: So are you!
Seifer and Squall: Move it! Who? Me? No, you!
Squall: Rinoa, pull me in.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Rinoa pulls Squall in the lift. Squall falls onto the wall.
Squall: Ouch.
From the force Seifer falls on Squall.
SQUASH.
Rinoa: Hehe.
Seifer: Thanks Squall.
Squall: Why you little $^&&^^%%#$$#$&*!@#$%^&*.
The lift starts going up.
Rinoa: Why is the lift shaking?
The lift stops.
Seifer: Uh oh.
Squall: Maybe Seifer is the guy who should lose a kilo.
Seifer: WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of all the guys.
Rinoa: I think he is losing it.
Squall: Yeah.
Seifer: Cowboy-shit, Chicken-wuss, Ya-know-it-all-Raijin. I'm stuck here with girl guy.
Squall: Isn't that Irvine?
Seifer: No, It's you. Because you're a guy and you look like a girl.
Squall: Hey!
Rinoa: Do you think we'll get out of here?
Seifer: No.
Squall: Yes.
Rinoa: Why no?
Seifer: Because I have a cloud of bad luck around me and we are here with Squall and that is bad luck and I'm suffering, that means that my bad luck is working.
Rinoa: Ok.I didn't understand one word you said.
Seifer: Squall, why do you think we are gonna get out of here?
Squall: Because I AM THE MAIN GUY OF THIS FANFICTION AND THE MAIN GUY CAN'T STAY IN A LIFT.
Seifer: Let's say you're right.I am the bad guy and I should stay in a lift so you can't get out of here.
Squall: Maybe I should kill you right now.
Rinoa: I don't think that would be a good idea.
*
Selphie: Why aren't they here?
Quistis: The lift is faster, isn't it?
Fujin: YEAH.
Zell: I didn't lose a kilo.
Irvine: How do you know?
Zell: I weighed myself.
Raijin: Where?
Zell: Right there.
Zell points to some scales.
Selphie: How many kilos are you?
Zell: Erm.um.hmm.58 kilos.
Selphie: 58! No way! Quistis is 58! She is thinner than you.
Quistis: Thank you.
Zell: Ok, I'm 59. Not a big difference.
Irvine: I'll weigh myself.
Raijin: Me too.
Selphie: I'm after Raijin.
Fujin: AFTER SELPHIE.
Irvine weights himself.
Selphie: How much are you?
Irvine: 85.
Zell: Then you say I'm the one who has to lose kilos.
Irvine: Shut up.
Raijin: I'm exactly 81.
Selphie: I'm 45.
Quistis: I know I'm 58.I think Rinoa is 48.
Fujin: 50.
*
Seifer: Haya!!!!
Rinoa: Hehehe.
Squall: Seifer, what the hell are you doing?
Rinoa: Hehe.well, he is sitting down and is holding a doll of himself.
Squall: I think he is loosing it.where did he get that doll of himself?
Rinoa: Look he's got out a doll of you!
Seifer: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!
Squall: Seifer, why do you have a doll of me?
Seifer: I'm your #1 knock off head fan.
Squall: Am I supposed to be flattered?
Rinoa: IRVINE!
Squall: Why are you screaming for Irvine?
Rinoa: It's the first name that came into my head.I was thinking about a dork and I found one.
Seifer: KO.
Squall: Who? You?
Seifer: No, you.
Squall kicks Seifer.
Seifer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Squall: Did it hurt that much?
Seifer: Oh my god! I hate this bad luck cloud.
Rinoa: Seifer what happened?
Seifer: My Squall dolly fell down there.
Squall: Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Seifer starts crying.
Rinoa: It's not that bad.
Seifer: I'll never see my Squall dolly again.sniff.
Rinoa turns around and faces Squall.
Squall: Is he serious?
Rinoa: I think that in a few days time he won't only be your #1 knock off head fan.
*
Irvine: I sense there is a girl in the Ragnarok.
Zell looks at Quistis, Selphie and Fujin.
Zell: Just one?
Irvine: Why? Do you see any more?
Quistis: Ahem.
Rinoa: IRVINE, MOVE IT!
Irvine: See? Told you it was a girl.
Selphie: That's Rinoa.
Quistis: Let's go find out.
Raijin: Where do we go?
Fujin: LIFT.
* Seifer: Why? Why my Squall dolly?
Rinoa: Don't you have another one?
Seifer: Boohoohoo.yeah.
Squall: If you have another Squall doll why are you crying?
Seifer: I liked that one.
Rinoa: What did that one have that was so special?
Seifer: A loose head.
Squall: Whatever.
Irvine: Rinoa?
Seifer: Cow-crap?
*
Zell: Hehe.
Irvine: Great, first it was cowboy-crap then it became cowboy-shit and now its cow-crap.
Raijin: Out of all the names you just said, cow-crap is the best for you.
Selphie: haha.
Quistis: RINOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
Rinoa: THE LIFT STOPED.
Zell: SHOUT LOUDER.
Seifer: GET US OUT OF HERE CHICKEN-WUSS.
Squall: WHERE ARE YOU?
Quistis: LOOK UP.
They look up and see Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Fujin, Quistis and Raijin.
Rinoa: If you're right over us why where we shouting?
Raijin: Don't know.
Seifer: Who is the strongest out of you guys?
Quistis: Irvine.
Seifer: Ok, Irvine you hold Selphie.
Irvine: No problem.
Seifer: Raijin will hold onto Selphie and we will climb up.
Selphie: No way.
After a long time of deciding who will sit where and that they couldn't use GFs for this.
Irvine: Zell, you're heavy.
Raijin: Zell, hold onto me properly.
Zell: Why has everyone got a problem with me?
Seifer: I don't.
Squall: OK.Zell get Rinoa up.
Rinoa grabs onto Zell.
Zell: I think I'm gonna split in two.
Squall: Imagine what will happen when Seifer climbs up him.
Zell: Shit.
Rinoa climbs up.
Squall starts climbing up.
Zell: How many kilos are you Squall?
Squall: Less then Seifer.
Seifer: Shut up.
Squall climbs up.
Seifer starts climbing.
Zell: I think I gonna puke all the hotdogs I've eaten.
Seifer: Too bad Squall isn't down there.
Squall: Zell, If you puke in the lift of the Ragnarok you will clean it up.
Rinoa: If you puke I'll never go into the Ragnarok's lift again.
Seifer gets up.
Zell: Get me up!!!!
Irvine: Why?
Zell: I don't like hanging upside-down.
They all get Zell up.
Raijin: I'm exhausted, ya know.
Rinoa: No we don't know.
Fujin: ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Irvine: I'm exhausted too.can we sleep?
Rinoa: My voice.
Seifer: OK, let's go sleep.
*
Irvine: Snore.
Selphie: ZZZZZZ.
Squall kicks Seifer in his sleep.
Seifer: Why you little.
Seifer kicks Squall back and goes back to sleep.
A Hooded man walks in and leaves something.
In the morning Seifer wakes up huging Quistis.or what he thinks is Quistis.
Seifer: Morning.
Quistis: .
Seifer: Why am I hugging Squa.AAAAAAAAAAAA.
Squall: What is it?
Seifer: Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Squall: What?
Seifer: I need a shower.
Squall: Ahh.you smelt yourself.
Seifer: If I hadn't just woken up your head would be.
Squall: Yuck.I've got to go puke.
Rinoa: Why?
Squall: Because Seifer touched me.
Carbuncle: You people do sleep a lot.
Little brother: You know what I realized big bro?
Big brother: No.
Little brother: They've got our names wrong.
Big brother: Oh yeah.
Irvine: You have different names?
Rinoa: Of course they do.Sacred and Minotaur.
Irvine: And who is who?
Big brother: Let's just stick to Little and Big brother.
Seifer: What is that?
Squall: You stupid twit it's a bit of paper.
Quistis: Is it a test?
Quistis's eyes start growing.
Raijin: Someone hide the piece of paper.
Selphie: Ok.
Selphie hides the piece of paper.
Rinoa: Weren't we in the desert?
Fujin: YES.
Irvine: Why?
Zell: YEAH, baby.
Squall: Zell?
Seifer: what is it?
Zell: I found a box of hotdogs.
Raijin: Ok.
Zell goes in the room and starts putting hotdogs on his seat.
Seifer: What the hell are you doing?
Zell: I want the place to smell of hotdogs.I'll take them away.
Zell walks out of the room.
Quistis: Thank god.
CRASH.
Zell: QUISTIS, HOW DO YOU GET KETCHUP OFF THE GROUND?
Selphie: Oh no.not on the floor or the Ragnarok.
Rinoa: Guys do you know what is going on?
Seifer: Sure.chicken-wuss is killing hotdogs and cow-crap is gonna start crying.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Rinoa: We are in the jungle.
Squall: Why did you take us here?
Rinoa: Me?
Selphie: Shit.
Seifer: Do you know that we are swearing a lot?
Squall: Sure, all the swearing started when you came with us.
Fujin: LOOK.
Zell runs in the door screaming.
Quistis: What is it?
Zell: There are monkeys in the Ragnarok.
Everyone: WHAT?
Rinoa: I'll go outside and try to find out where we are.
Quistis: I'll come.
Selphie: Me too.
Irvine: Hey, girls.
Zell: I'll go as well.
Irvine: We can go with the girls? Oh, good. I'll come.
Fujin: ME TOO.
Squall: Hey, I'll come.
Seifer: Me too.
Raijin: Ok, we are all going.
*
Outside the Ragnarok.
Squall: Ok.what do we do?
Seifer: Let's search.
Squall: Ok. I'll go with Rinoa.
Rinoa: No way!
Seifer: Good, I'll go with Rinoa.
Quistis: No, Seifer and Squall will saty here and we'll go check out this place.
Rinoa: Do we agree?
Selphie: Sure.
Irvine: Yeah.
Zell: Ok.
Raijin: I'll come.
Fujin: Me too.
They all start walking away.
Squall: Wait! You're leaving me with Seifer?
Seifer: Alone with Squall?
Selphie: Yeah.bye.
Quistis: You just wait here.
They walk away.
Squall and Seifer: Shit.
*
After an hour.
Selphie: Guys I wanna go back.
Rinoa: We haven't found anything.
Irvine: We should go back.
Quistis: Zell.why is there ketchup on you're butt?
Zell: What? Crap! I was sure I didn't sit on that hotdog.
Raijin: Hehe.
Zell tries to get the ketchup off his trousers.
Fujin: HAHA.
Quistis: You're making it worse, Zell.
Zell: Bugger! I know.
Rinoa: Then stop trying.
Selphie: Can you see the Ragnarok?
Irvine: No.
Raijin: Oh no.
Fujin: LOST.
Raijin: See? We went where cow-crap did and we got lost. That means that I'm not the only guy that gets us lost.
Irvine: I thought only Seifer calls me cow-crap.
Selphie: No, cow-crap.
Irvine: Great! My girlfriend is calling me cow-crap.
Quistis: Why don't we try to find the Ragnarok.
Zell: Sure.
*
Seifer: Where do you think they are?
Squall: Somewhere.
Seifer: I'm hungry.
Squall: Me too.
Seifer: Do you think there is food up this tree?
Squall: Maybe.
Seifer: Who will climb up the tree?
Squall: I wouldn't want to hurt it's bark.
Seifer: Me neither.
Squall: Don't make me angry.
Seifer: It's ok if you get angry.
Squall: Really?
Seifer: Yeah, I'll know why you're angry.
Squall: Why?
Seifer: Because of the heat.
Squall: What?
Seifer: Yeah, you're wearing black and black absorbs the heat.
Squall: Get up the tree!!!!!!
Seifer: No.
Squall: Do you know what we didn't think of?
Seifer: How to kill you?
Squall: No, we can shake the tree.
Seifer: Ok. On the count of three.1.2.3.
Seifer and Squall shake the tree and a big monkey falls down.
Monkey: GFGUJG.
Seifer: Errrrrr.hi.
Squall: He doesn't look happy.
Monkey: GRRRRRRRRRRR.
The monkey raises his arms.
Monkey: MORGERRRRRRRRR.
Squall: He has a poor vocabulary.
Seifer: But he makes his point clear.
Monkey: AAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer and Squall run up the tree.
Seifer: Thank god.we are safe up here.
Squall: Seifer did you know that monkeys can climb trees?
The monkay starts climbing the tree.
Squall: AAAAAAAA.
Seifer: And very quickly.
The monkey starts walking towards them.
Seifer: Look who we meet again.
Squall: The world is small.
Seifer: Squall, what do we do?
Squall: I don't know.
Seifer: I got it! We'll do a Tarzan.
Squall: A WHAT?
Seifer: A Tarzan. We'll swing from tree to tree.
Squall: WITH A GUNBLADE ON OUR BACK?
Seifer: That might be a problem.but who cares?
Squall: I care.
Seifer: Ok, you'll get betten up by the monkey and I'll do a Tarzan.
Seifer starts swinging from tree to tree.
Seifer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Squall: You would make a good Tarzan.
Seifer: Shut up! Anyway Squall, it was fun.
Squall: What was fun?
Seifer: Knowing you.
Squall: Why WAS it fun? What is happening to me?
Seifer: You're gonna get squashed by the monkey.
Squall turns around and sees the monkey with raised arms.
Squall flings himself onto a branch that is swaying.
Squall: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: You're a better Tarzan than me.
Squall: AAAAAAAAA.I know.AAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: Maybe you make a better Jane.
*
Selphie: Ok, we are in the middle of the jungle.
Irvine: Maybe if we don't try to find the others they will come and get us.
Quistis: What would make you think that?
Irvine: Isn't that what has happened so far?
Zell: Yeah, but we told them to stay where they are.
Fujin: DORKS.
Raijin: Thanks Fujin.
Rinoa: Let's just walk ahead and see where we'll end up.
Selphie: What if we fall into a trap?
Rinoa: We'll stand on each other's heads and we'll get out of the trap.
Irvine: Raijin and Zell will not stand on my head.
Selphie: My legs.I'm tired.
Irvine: Do you want me to hold you?
Selphie: Wow! Suddenly I feel great.
Everyone walks away.
Irvine: Did I say something?
* Seifer: Come on Jane!
Squall: Grrrr.Ok.Xu.
Seifer: WHAT?????????????????
Squall: Hehe.what is it Xu?
Seifer: Stop calling me Xu.
Squall: Stop calling me Jane.
Seifer: Ok, Barbie.
Squall: Yuck that's worse. Hmmmmm.You want to be a guy?
Seifer: Yup.
Squall: Ok Cid.
Seifer: SAY WHAT?
Squall: Maybe I should call him Zell.
*
Rinoa: Hey!
Zell: What?
Rinoa: It's a dead end.
Irvine: How can there be a dead end in the middle of the jungle?
Rinoa: I don't know. But whatever it is, it is covered with plants.
Quistis: Well, we could try to pull down the plants.
Selphie start pulling on a plant.
Selphie: I found a hole.
Zell: Look through it.
Selphie looks through the hole.
Selphie: Shit.
Irvine: What?
Selphie: An ant.
Quistis: Ant? It's a plant not ivy.
Selphie: Not a normal ant.
Rinoa: What? An alian ant?
Selphie: No, a huge ant.
Raijin: How big?
Selphie: Why don't you look?
Raijin looks into the hole.
Raijin: Holy shit.
Quistis: Our swearing vocabulary is growing.
Raijin: So is the size of ants these days.
Rinoa: It can't be that big. Let me look.
Raijin: Be my guest.
Rinoa looks through the hole.
Rinoa: That is an ant?
Irvine: Let me looky.
Irvine looks through the hole.
Irvine: Gulp.
Irvine's eyes grow.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Quistis: What?
Irvine: It will eat us.and I haven't gone on a date with the library girl yet. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Selphie: IRVINE.
Irvine looks at Selphie.
Irvine: And my girlfriend is gonna break up with me.Waaaaaaaa.
Quistis looks through the hole.
Quistis: That ant is bigger then an elephant.
Fujin: HUGE.
Selphie: What do we do?
Quistis: It's coming our way.
Zell: Crap.
Quistis: We'll fight it.
Rinoa: We have to fight it?
Raijin: We have our wepons.
Zell: .And we forgot to junction our GFs.
Quistis: What? Zell, I have gone over the way to junction a GF seven times. Do you want me to tell you again?
Zell: Nooooooooooooo.
Rinoa: Good job, Zell. Now it IS coming our way.
Raijin: What do we do?
Selphie: Yeah. We can't fight it.
Irvine: RUNNNNNN.
Irvine runs away.
Selphie: I think we should follow.
Rinoa: Yeah.
They all start running.
Selphie: I can't move in this dress.
*
Seifer: Go Barbie!
Squall: Grrrrr.one minute Cid.
Seifer: Ok, you're Squall.
Squall: Ok Seifer.
A plant grabes Squall.
Squall: What? They're eating plants here?
Seifer: It looks as if it has a big appetite.
Squall: Don't look. DO SOMETHING.
Seifer: Ok. I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what.
Squall: No I don't know what.
Seifer: A rope whatever they call them.
Squall: I got it.
Seifer: Anyway I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what and pull you out of it's arms.leaves.vines?
Squall: Ok. Just hurry up!
Seifer starts swing towards Squall.
Seifer: Ready.
Seifer sticks out his hand to grab Squall.
Squall: What are you going to.NOT BY THE HAIR.
Seifer hands go right through Squall's hair and Seifer passes Squall.
Seifer: ?????????
Squall: My head.come on try again and NOT by the hair.
Seifer starts swing again.
Seifer: Here I come.
Seifer grabs Squall by the jacket and pulls him out of the plants grip.
Squall: Great. Oh no.
Seifer: What?
Squall: I think I'm falling.
Squall falls out of his jacket and Seifer keeps on swing.
Seifer: Come back up here!
Squall: Where are you taking my jacket?
Seifer throughs the jacket on Squall's head.
Seifer: Put it on and I'll swing down to get you.
Squall puts the jacket on.
Squall: Ok, I'm ready.
Seifer grabs Squall by the bealt.
Squall: Owwwww.my tummy.
Seifer: So far so good.
Seifer closes his eyes.
Seifer: Waaaaaahooooooooooo.
Squall: Oh my god. Seifer open you're eyes. QUICK!
Seifer: Why?
Squall: You're going into a tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRASH.
Squall: Five ducks.sixs little ducks.
Seifer: Do you relize I'm sitting on you're butt?
Squall: Seven ducks.
Seifer: I don't think so.better get off before he relizes.
Seifer gets off Squall.
Squall: Can you hear that bird?
Seifer slaps Squall.
Seifer: Wake up!
Squall: What was that for?
Seifer: Let's continue swaying.
Squall and Seifer start swaying.
Squall: Thank god this time I'm next to you and you aren't holding me by the belt.
Seifer: Whatever.
Squall: Umm.Seifer do you want the number one bad news first or the number two bad news first?
Seifer: Hmmm.the first one.
Squall: The plant is following us.
Seifer: Ok, and number two?
Squall: That monkey is following us and he has a bunch of friends with him.
Seifer: WHAT?????????
Monkey: YEHAAAAAAA.
Squall: AAAAAAAAAA.RUNNNNNNN.
Seifer: You mean swing.
Squall: Whatever.
*
Selphie: Go behind the tree!
They run behind the tree.
Quistis: I think it lost us.
Irvine: Was it after us?
Raijin: I think so.
Fujin: CRAP.
Suddenly the ground starts moving.
Quistis: What the.?
Selphie and Zell fall down.
Selphie: Zell, could you do two things for me?
Zell: Sure.
Selphie: Number one: get that ketchup off your butt.
Zell: Ok, and number two?
Selphie: GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!
Zell jumps up.
Zell: Roger.
Selphie gets up.
Rinoa: What was that?
Zell looks behind the tree.
Zell: SShhhhh.
Irvine: What?
Irvine looks behind the tree.
Rinoa: Well?
Irvine goes green.
Selphie: Irvine is turning into an alian.
Quistis: I'll tell you what it is.
Quistis looks behind the tree.
Rinoa: Will someone tell me what it is?
Quistis: The movement was because the ant sat down.
Raijin: I can't belive it followed us!
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: Mama.
Zell: .
Fujin: SILENCE.
Irvine: I want my mummy.
Selphie: Irvine.
Rinoa: What would make you feel more at home, Irvine?
Irvine: Thank you Rinoa.
Rinoa: I just want you to shut up.
Irvine: Whatever. Well, Quistis could be my mum.
Quistis: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Irvine: Rinoa could be my sister.
Rinoa: I'm so glad I'm not.
Irvine: Rinoa, why are you torchering me?
Rinoa: It's a hobby.
Zell: Ok, I know what my next hobby should be.
Selphie: Next? What is your first hobby?
Zell: Eating hotdogs of course.
*
Squall: AAAAAAAA.
Seifer: What?
Squall: A monkey grabed onto my butt.
Seifer: AAAAAAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAA. Hehehe.
A monkey grabs onto Seifer's butt.
Seifer: Crap!
Squall: If you did crap that monkey would go away for sure.
Seifer: I'll take out my gunblade and get the monkey off your butt.
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Seifer: Why not?
Squall: What if you take off my butt as well as the monkey?
Seifer: It won't hurt anyone.
Squall: It will hurt ME.
Seifer: Come on Squall. Be a man.
Squall: No, I'll get the monkey off your butt with the gunblade.
Seifer: No fear!
*
Zell: I chose my hobby because.
Selphie: Zell, we have a huge ant behind us and you are talking about your hobbies.
Zell: The ant is being very polite and it is waiting for me to tell you about my habbies.
Quistis: Hobbies.
Zell: What?
Quistis: It's hobbies. You said habbies.
Irvine: I think Zell talking about his hobbies is interesting.
Everyone: What?
Irvine: Why not? We have nothing better to listen to.
Zell: Thanks Irvine.
The ground starts moving again.
Irvine: Again?
Zell: Look! A bush!
Quistis: So?
Irvine: Maybe he wants to go on the loo.
Zell: No! Look at me.
Selphie: That is what we have been doing all the time.
Zell runs over to the bush and starts rubbing his butt on the bush.
Rinoa: What is so cool about this?
Zell stops rubbing his butt and runs up to the others.
Zell: Look!
Zell sticks out his butt at them.
Rinoa: Are we supposed to kick his butt?
Raijin: Hope so.
Zell: Any ketchup?
Everyone: Oh!.No.
*
Seifer: Squall you're going into a wall.
Squall: How do you know it's a wall?
Seifer: Guessing.
SPLAT.
Squall: I think it's a wall.
Seifer: Did any of your teeth come out?
Squall: No.
Seifer: Let's sit on this tree.
Squall: And do what?
Seifer: Take out your gunblade and kill the monkeys.
Squall: Kill them? But they are cute.
Seifer: GRRRRRRRR.Well, hit them!
Squall: Ok.
Squall and Seifer take out their gunblades.
Squall: Ummmmm.where are the monkeys?
Seifer: I think we lost them.
Squall: WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO.
*
Zell: No ketchup on my butt lalala.
Selphie: Hehe.
Rinoa: Irvine, go and look for the others.
Irvine: Why me?
Raijin: Because if we lose you it won't matter.
Fuijn: FUNNY.
Selphie: Raijin, if that was the reason we chose Irvine then we should send Zell with him.
Irvine: So what is the reason?
Rinoa: You are so tall that we can't lose you.
Zell: Irvine will you go?
Irvine: Ok.
Irvine leaves.
Selphie: Thank god I thought he would never leave.
Quistis: Isn't he your boyfriend?
Selphie: Yeah, so?
*
Irvine: I think they wanted me to leave. I'm hungry.
Irvine sits under a tree.
Irvine: Hey, there might be food on the tree.
Irvine gets up.
Irvine: I don't want to climb the tree.hmmmm.
*
Seifer: Let's get down from the tree and look for the others.
Squall: No way.
Seifer: Why not?
Squall: What if there is a plant that wants to eat me?
Seifer: So what? Are we gonna stay up here?
Squall: Yup.
Seifer: What is that?
Squall: What?.Hey! Who is moving the tree?
Seifer: I think I'm falling.
Seifer and Squall fall off the tree.
Seifer: Ummm.Do you want the good news of the bad news?
Squall: The good news.
Seifer: We found one of the guys.
Squall: Great and the bad news?
Seifer: It's cow-shit.
Irvine: I thought it was cow-crap.
Seifer gets up.
Squall: I see both of you but.umm.why are you upside down.
Seifer: You dork! You are upside down.
Squall: I am? It feels normal.
Irvine: Come on! I have to take you to the others.
Seifer: Where are they?
Irvine: Come!
Irvine takes them to the others.
Squall: RINOA!
Rinoa: Shut up!
Squall: Why?
Selphie: The ant is back.
Irvine: Shit!
Seifer: What ant? Are you guys losing it?
Squall: Why would you be afraid of an ant?
Quistis: Do you want to go out and look at it?
Seifer: I will.
Seifer walks out, walks back behind the tree and with a smile on his face, says very casualy.
Seifer: Shit.
Squall: Well?
Seifer: ...
Squall: Ok. I'll look.
Squall looks at the ant.
Squall: It's ugly.
Raijin: Whatever.
Squall: Don't say that only I am allowed to say that word.
Raijin: Whatever.
Squall: I'm gonna kill you.
Raijin: Do you want a piece of my staff?
Squall: Do you want a piece of my gunblade?
Raijin sees the gunblade.
Raijin: Can we talk about it?
Seifer: Wait! I got it.
Quistis: Got what?
Seifer: We want to get the ant away, right?
Fujin: RIGHT.
Seifer: So someone will go out and distract it.
Rinoa: Not me.
Irvine: Me neither.
Fujin: NO.
Seifer: Wait!
Quistis: How do we decide?
Seifer: We play a game.
Everyone: What game?
Seifer: The author will decide.
Author: What? Me? Seifer, you thought of it.
Seifer: Yeah but you are the author.
Author: And you are my inspiration.
Seifer: Thank you.
Irvine: What am I? Author: You are the dork that cries all the time.
Irvine: That isn't true.waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Quistis: The author is right.
Author: Say my proper name.
Quistis: Okay.what is it?
Author: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!
Zell: I wanna use the loo.
Water-zone-8: Be careful I can throw you out of the fanfiction.
Zell: Yes please!
Water-zone-8: You want to go?
Zell: YES!
Water-zone-8: Then I'll keep you in it.
Zell: Grrrrrrrr.
Water-zone-8: Well Seifer? The game?
Seifer: Oh, yeah! Well.I have no inspiration.
Water-zone-8: .I know what lies beneath the snowfields.
Irvine: What?
Water-zone-8: You'll find out!
Squall: Whatever.
Selphie: Aren't we in a jungle?
Water-zone-8: Yeah.
Selphie: Then why are you talking about snowfields?
Water-zone-8: I won't tell you.
Zell: Why not?
Water-zone-8: You want to know what lies beneath the snowfields?
Everyone: Yes.
Water-zone-8: I can't tell you but I can take you there.
Seifer: Why would we wanna go there?
Water-zone-8: Even if you didn't want to go you will end up going there.
Seifer: Then take us there.
Water-zone-8: First you have to do me a favor.
Seifer: What?
Water-zone-8: Will you guys be in my next fanfiction?
Everyone: NO!
Water-zone-8: Please.
Everyone: NO!
Water-zone-8 gives Selphie a chocobo, gives Irvine a playboy, gives Rinoa petpals 6, gives Squall wepons monthly, gives Fujin a football shoe (to kick Raijin), gives Raijin a shield (to save him from Fujin), gives Quistis the new test, gets Seifer and Zell out of the dresses and into their normal clothes, gives Seifer a gunblade polishing set and gives Zell a hotdog.
Everyone: I'll be in your next fanfiction.
Water-zone-8: Good. Be in my computer tomorrow.
Everone: So soon?
Water-zone-8: Yeah.
Seifer: Wait! We could decide if we wanted to come?
Everyone: Yeah!
Seifer: I don't want to be in this fanfiction! Why did I go into her computer?
Rinoa: Because you didn't want to be left out, remember.
Seifer: Oh.yeah. I'm stupid!
Squall: We know.
Zell: I'm cold!
Seifer and Squall: What?
Zell: We are in SNOW!!!
Squall: Oh yeah.
Selphie: I'm freezing!
Quistis: It's not our fult that YOU wear a mini dress.
Selphie: Maybe I should stop wearing mini dresses.
Irvine: No!
Quistis: Let's talk.
Water-zone-8: Noooooo! You can't! See that house?
Everyone: Yeah.
Water-zone-8: What you're looking for is in there!
Everyone: How do you know?
Water-zone-8: This is my fanfiction!!!!!
Everyone: Oh.yeah.
They all run into the little hut.
Zell: It's got heating!
Selphie: Thank god!
Squall: Wrong! It's air-conditioning.
Raijin: Then why is it hot, ya know?
Squall: Because it's cold out there so it seems hot in here, silly :p
Quistis: Shut up. I'm supposed to say that.
Squall: Why?
Quistis: Because I think logicaly.
Squall: And what do I think like?
Quistis: You think like a whatever man.
Squall: What is your problem?
Fujin: LOOK!
Everyone: At what?
Fujin: TABLE!
Zell: There is a table in here?
They all see the table. (Which was in front of them all the time)
Raijin: There it is, ya know!
Irvine: What is in the chest?
Selphie: Hey! I think it's what headmaster Cid was looking for!!
Cid walks out of a door.
Cid: THAT'S ITTTTTTT!!!!!!!
Everyone looks at him as if he's gone bananas.
Rinoa: What?
Seifer: What is in it?
Squall: Everyone SHUT UP!!!!!
Everyone shuts up.
Squall: Cid, how did you get here?
Cid: I walked through that door.
Cid points at the door.
Fujin: SILLY ANSWER.
Raijin: Correct, ya know.
Squall: Whatever.
Squall turns around to Cid.
Squall: I know you came through the door.
Cid: You do?
Squall: Ya, I saw you. But how did you get here?
Cid: Simple. If you go through that door you will find your self at Balamb Garden.
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????????
Squall: ( I can't belive we did soo much to find out that we could have just gone through a door)
Rinoa: ( Damn it! Woohoo! I didn't die in this fanfiction!!)
Irvine: ( God!! All this way without seeing a girl? When I gat back to Balamb I'll have to.)
Cid: .
Irvine: CRAP!
Everyone: What?
Irvine: Water-zone-8!
Water-zone-8: Yeah?
Irvine: How many times do I have to tell you NOT to let people read my mind?
Water-zone-8: .
Irvine: I'm thinking things that kids shouldn't be reading!!
Selphie: IRVINE! What are you think?
Irvine: Umm.Of you.
( Tch, Tch. Such lies!!)
Selphie: ( I wonder what he is thinking of.)
Cid: Why is everyone silent?
Everyone: We are thinking of ways to kill you.
Cid: Hehe, calm down people.
Zell: You better have a good reason..
Cid: What about all that peace, love and frenship?
Squall: Peace? We have war like all the time.
Seifer: Love? Ewwww.
Raijin: Frenship? What frenship, ya know?
Fujin: RIGHT.
Cid: Umm. If you feel that way we can change it to: War, hate and alone.
Everyone: It's nice.
Cid: Now come with me.
They go through the door and find themselves on the 3rd floor in Balamb.
Selphie: Wtf are we doing here?
Quistis: Selphie! Don't swear.
Selphie: Why not?
Quistis: Because.
After two hours of Quistis's talk on "Why not to swear" .
Quistis: Will all of you stop trying to press the triangle?
Everyone: NEVER.
Irvine turns arount to Selphie.
Irvine: This is all your fault.
Selphie: Mine? Why?
Irvine: Why? *in a Selphie voice* Why not?
Selphie: So?
Seifer: My ears are hurting.
Fujin: MINE TOO.
Zell: Someone shut her up.
Quistis: Why? I give beautiful talks.
Everyone: YEAH RIGHT.
Quistis: You will pay for that!
After four hours.
Quistis: We shouldn't swear because yada yada yada blah blah blah.
Zell: Does she ever shut up?
Irvine: If I have any more of this I'm gonna comit suside.
Seifer: This is the fist time I ever wanted Quistis to talk more.
Quistis: Thank you Seifer.
Cid: I don't think I'm ever gonna explan what happened.
Raijin: Cid why did you ever make her a teacher, ya know?
Cid: She looked as if she was good at it.
Selphie: She is too good at it.
Squall: And she gives you a LOT of homework.
Cid: That is the spirit!
Everyone stares at him.
Cid: What?
Squall: I just said that she gives you a LOT of homework.
Raijin: Ya, what is soo great about that, ya know?
Cid: Nothing. I was just thinking.
Squall: Yup, I know what it's like.
Seifer: Whatever.
Squall: Hey! My word, my word, my word.
Quistis shuts up ( thank god).
Rinoa: Quistis, why did you shut up?
Quistis: Noone was listening to me.
Squall: Whatever.
Cid: May I.
Quistis: Cid.
Cid: Yes?
Quistis: You where gonna tell us something?
Cid: YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Everyone: What?
Cid: Finally someone to listen to me.
Quistis: ^_^
Cid: Quistis, I give you SeeD level A.
( Water-zone-8: I'd like to have a headmaster like that!!)
Everyone: What????? Level A??????
Zell: SAY WHAT??????
Fujin: GRRRR.
Raijin: That ain't fear, ya know!!
Seifer: I want level A too.
Irvine: Seifer, who doesn't want level A?
Selphie: I'm NOT happy!!!
( Water-zone-8: That's weird.)
Rinoa: Huh? Why did she get level A?
Quistis: Shut up!!!!!
Everyone shuts up (again).
Quistis: I got A because I love me, you love me, he loves me, we love me, you love me and they love me. WE ALL LOVE MEEEEE.
Cid: Can we all forget the level A thing?
Everyone: Whatever.
THE END
Cid: No, no, no.
Everyone: Why not?
Cid: I have to explan what happened.
Zell: Oh yeah.
Seifer: Just make it quick.
Zell: Yeah, I need to go to the cafeteria.
Edea walks in.
Edea: Cid, did you find it?
Rinoa: Find what?
Cid: Yes honney.
Seifer: FIND WHAT?????
Edea: I'm so happy.
Cid: I just have to tell the boys what happened.
Quistis: Boys?
Cid: I meant you as well.
Selphie: You think we are boys?
Irvine: You think my girl friend is a boy?
Seifer: * Wispering* Yes.
Cid: Boy and girls, is that better?
Everyone: Yes.
Cid: First, I sent you on this mission because I had lost what I am holding in this chest.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Ok.
Zell: Wait.
Cid: What?
Zell: What about the man in black cape and the hooded man?
Cid: Ahh, yes.
Seifer: How do you know about the man in black cape and the hooded man?
Cid: I made them.
Everyone: What?
Cid: It was Xu and Nida.
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????
Cid: They wanted to write a book.
Seifer: So?
Cid: So I told them to follow you guys and make your adventure a book.
Selphie: Who was who?
Cid: Xu was the hooded man.
Fujin: RAGE.
Rinoa: Grrrrr.
Seifer: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!!
Water-zone-8: Don't shout Seifer.
Seifer: Did you know all about this?
Water-zone-8: Well, umm...yeah.
Water-zone-8 disapers leaving a red faced Seifer holding a gunblade.
Cid: Anyway, the book is being written right now.
Quistis: Shit.
Selphie: Quistis, don't you remember your four hour talk about NOT swearing?
Quistis: Oops.
Selphie: Hehe.
Quistis: Grrrr.
Selphie and Quistis start fighting.
Cid: And the book will be published in two days.
Selphie and Quistis stop fighting.
Quistis and Selphie: What?
Raijin: What if we don't want the book to be published, ya know?
Cid: You have no choice.
Zell: .
Cid: And Quistis will read it in the classrooms.
Quistis: What??????
Cid: It will be a lesson and the students won't sleep.
Everyone: How come?
Cid: It's so funny.
Irvine: Grrrr.
Cid: I'll give you all a free book. I'm going to buy one myself you know.
Seifer: Do we get paid?
Cid: Of course not.
Seifer: WHY NOT?
Cid: You where looking for something. Only Nida and Xu will get paid and that way Garden will also keep it's money.
Squall: Crap!
Zell: Can't you give me a higher SeeD level?
Cid: Umm.what level are you?
Zell: Level 1.
Cid: What????? No SeeD is that level!!!!!!
Zell: Well you've just meet one that IS level 1.
Cid: Ok. I'll make you level 3.
Zell: ?
Cid: What?
Zell: ? Only?
Cid: It's better than what you where.
Zell: Whatever.
Squall: What is in the chest?
Seifer: Oh yeah.
Rinoa: It should be something VERY important.
Cid: Why should it be important?
Irvine: Well you sent us to the other side of the world.
Selphie: Which apparently is right on the other side of that door.
Cid: Heh.
Raijin: Will you tell us, ya know?
Cid: Does it matter if I don't?
Everyone: Yes.
Cid: Well, Edea was making a spell and it got stolen by a shadow that she made.
Quistis: She made a shadow?
Cid: It was a spell. I wanted a servant and she thought a shadow would be fun.
Everyone: Oh.
Cid: And the spell she had been working on for ages, she finished it and it got stolen so we sent you after it. ?
Squall: Okay.
Cid: Okay?
Seifer: Not so fast.
Cid: What?
Seifer: What was the spell?
Cid: I'll tell you but don't get mad.
Seifer raises an eyebrow.
Cid: Heh, It was a spell to make me thiner. ?
Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTT???????????
Raijin takes out his staff, Seifer and Squall take out there gunblades, Irvine takes out his gun, Quistis gets her wip out, Fujin gets her Zan and Selphie and Rinoa ( who have taken out there wepons) get ready to attack.
Cid: Now people I don't think you are going to attack me.
Squall: You think?
Seifer: We are gonna cut you into little picses.
Cid: Quistis protect me!!!!!
Quistis: Why should I?
Cid: If you don't you can forget about the level A.
Quistis: Whatever, you wouldn't be alive to give it to me.
Cid: Oh no ?.
So they chased around Gareden for seven days and eight nights.
Whilst running.
Seifer: I think I'm getting a little tired.
Quistis: How come?
Seifer: Come on! Holding a gunblade for seven days and eight nights? You wouldn't last half a day.
Quistis: I get the picture.
Selphie: This dress is hard to run in! ?
Cid: GIVE UP *gasp* *gasp*.
Everyone: Never!!
Cid: I don't need Edea's spell anymore. I've lost like 23 kilos.
Water-zone-8: Hehe, I think I killed all of you!
Fujin: YEAH.
Raijin: I never thought Cid could run for sooooo long, ya know.
Edea is watching them.
Edea: GO CID!! I'm so proud of you!
Seifer: Hey! We've lasted this long maybe I should enter the marathon! I could win!
Squall: I'd go up against you and I'd win.
Seifer: You wish!!!!
Squall: You wish you could win!!!! You wouldn't last three minutes.
Seifer: I'd win.
Squall: I would!!
Seifer and Squall: ME!
Part 5 (The rest because I am sick of putting it in parts)
Seifer: Hey Squall isn't the leader and I let him tell me what to do.
Quistis walks away.
Seifer: Wait.Hey Squall didn't make a place for us to meeet.
Quistis: SEIFER.it's meet.
Seifer: What did I say?
Quistis: You said meet with three E.
Seifer: The same noise came out.
Quistis: Yes, but that is not the point. The point is.
Seifer: I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BLOODY POINT IS.
Quistis: Let's go ahead.
Seifer: WHATEVER.
Squall: I HEARD THAT.
*
Selphie: I don't like this place.
Zell: Me neither.
Seifer: I HATE YOU SQUALL.
Irvine: Oh my god.
Selphie: What?
Irvine: Squall is the killer.
Zell: Why would you say that?
Irvine: Didn't you hear what Seifer just said?
Selphie: Yeah. So? He just said that he hated Squall.
Zell: Yeah. He's always hated Squall.
Irvine: I bet Squall killed Seifer.
Selphie: Now I would have thought that would be the other way round.
Zell: You mean Seifer killed Squall?
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: I do have the book with me.
Selphie: You mean the book "And then there were none"?
Irvine: Yeah, I think you should read it.
Zell and Selphie: WHAT?
Irvine: Do you think we'll find anything here?
Zell: From the thief? No.
Irvine: So why not sit down and read a nice book?
Selphie: Yeah. I'll read it.
Zell: I won't.
Irvine and Selphie: Chicken-wuss.
Zell: Ok, just give me the book.
*
Quistis: Seifer calm down.
Seifer: SQUALL I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.
Quistis: Stop.
Seifer: NOW I'M MAD.
Quistis: Why?
Seifer: BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.
Quistis: Ha ha ha.
Seifer: Why you little.
Seifer takes out his gunblade.
Quistis: AAAAAAA.
Seifer: I will kill you.
Quistis: Ok, ok. Ummmmm. Squall is the most stupid thing in Balamb Garden.
Seifer: I know that. But I'm glad you agree with me.
Seifer puts back his gunblade.
Quistis: Thank god.
Seifer: Whatever.
*
Rinoa: How could you forget to say where we would meet?
Squall: You know me.
Rinoa: Yes I do know you. You're stupid, fat and a big twit.
Squall: Then how come I'm your boyfriend?
Rinoa: I don't know yet so don't ask.
Squall: Why don't you look for someone else?
Rinoa: I have Seifer.
Squall starts talking to himself.
Squall: Am I putting ideas in her head?
Rinoa: Yes.
Squall: Shit.
*
Selphie: Oh, I didn't want him to die.
Irvine: Who?
Selphie: Philip.
Zell: Wait Vera is the only person left.
Selphie: She's the killer.
Zell: Wait! The last line says: One little nigger boy left all alone He went and hanged himself and then there were none.
Selphie: Vera isn't the killer? Then who is ?
Irvine: Hehe.
Zell: What are you reading?
Irvine: Me? Playboy.
Selphie: IRVINE.
Irvine: Bad.
Zell: What?
Irvine: A magazine that says how bad playboy is.
Selphie: Then why would they call it playboy?
Irvine: No, it says bad playboy.
Zell: I only see playboy.
Irvine: That is because the bad is on the other side.
Selphie: Why would they put the word bad at the back of the magazine if it's called bad playboy?
Irvine: So that the guys open the playboy and find out that it is saying how bad playboy is.
Zell: Then how do you know that the magazine is called bad playboy and not playboy bad?
Irvine: Because. Oh BACK TO YOUR BOOK.
*
Fujin: LOOK.
Raijin: At what?
Fujin: IN THE SHADOWS.
Raijin: What is in the shadows?
Fujin: I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WENT IN THE SHADOWS SOMEONE MIGHT JUMP OUT AND KILL YOU.
Raijin: Mama save me.Why would you say that?
Fujin: COS'THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOK I READ.
Raijin: I hope I won't die.
Fujin: WHY SHOULD YOU DIE?
Raijin: Well the book Irvine read.
Fujin: .MADE YOU CHICKEN OUT.
Raijin: No. I read it.
Fujin: REALLY?
Raijin: Yeah.
Fujin: TELL ME ABOUT IT.
*
Quistis: Oh no.
Seifer: See this is what Squall forgot to tell us.
Quistis: Damn the two-way path.
Seifer: Wanna go left or right?
Quistis: Left.
Quistis and Seifer go down the left path and bump into something.
Quistis: What is that?
Seifer: I don't know.
Voice: Now it's time for someone to get hugged by a bear.
Quistis and Seifer: Three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there where two.
Seifer: Runnnnnnnnnn.
Quistis: For the first time I agree with you.
Quistis and Seifer run away.
Raijin: I wonder who that was.
*
Rinoa: Squall, Did you just hear Seifer?
Squall: Maybe he's dead.
Rinoa: Why does someone have to die?
Squall: Because then we can talk about the death.
Rinoa: Why?
Squall: I have a question.
Rinoa: Ask it.
Squall: Why do girls always say why?
Rinoa: .Why do boys always have a problem with what the girl says when it's usually right?
Squall: I am not a boy.
Rinoa: Are you a girl?
Squall: No, I am a teenager.
Rinoa: You know, when you say I am a teenager it can also mean that you are a girl.
Squall: Oh. Damn you.
*
Selphie: Oh my god.
Zell: That book was terrifying.
Irvine: You liked it?
Selphie: You keep that book away from me.
Zell: I told you that if you thought you were Vera you would die.
Irvine: Vera? Wasn't she hanged?
Selphie: Yeah.
Zell: Haha. Selphie said she was Vera because she thought Vera wouldn't die.
Selphie: You wanted to be Justice Wargrave.
Zell: So?
Selphie: He was the killer.
Zell: And you?
Selphie: What about me?
Zell: You liked Philip.
Selphie: Yeah, so?
Zell: You shot him.
Selphie: I thought he was the killer.
Zell: Yeah right.
Selphie: I was told to.
Zell: By who? Who would tell you to shoot Philip?
Selphie: THE BOOK.
Irvine: Guys, it's not like you're in the book.
Selphie: But when we read books we take characters and say that that's us.
Irvine: Hell, you don't do that in this book.
Zell: Now you tell us?
Irvine: Did you really think that you were characters as well?
Selphie: You did it to?
Irvine: Yeah.
Selphie: Who were you?
Irvine: Philip.
Zell: Why Philip?
Irvine: Well Philip was the guy that might end up going out with Vera.
Selphie: Are you serious? You chose your character because of a girl?
Irvine: Yeah. Why not?
Zell: Hey, man, can I look at that playboy?
Selphie looks at Zell.
Zell: Bad. The bad playboy.
Irvine: No it's mine.
*
Fujin: WHAT HAPPENED THEN?
Raijin: Vera kicked away the chair.
Fujin: WHY WOULD VERA HANG HERSELF?
Raijin: Let me finish.
Fujin: THAT ISN'T IT?
Raijin: No.
Fujin: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE REST.
Raijin: Ok. If you don't want to hear who the killer is.
Fujin: OH JUST SAY THE REST.
*
Squall: I'm a girl, girl, girl, girl.
Rinoa: You are? I didn't know you where a girl.
Squall: I mean boy. I'm a boy.
Rinoa: But you said you where a teenager, not a boy.
Squall: I hate Rinoa.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Squall: Why? Why is everybody saying whatever?
Rinoa: Because everyone has been with you and you keep saying whatever.
Squall: Why do you have an answer for everything?
Rinoa: Why do you always ask questions?
*
Quistis: What was that?
Seifer: I don't know. But I do know two things.
Quistis: What is the first thing?
Seifer: He was talking about someone dying.
Quistis: I got that too. The second thing is.?
Seifer: We are lost.
Quistis: Ok.
Seifer: What do we do?
Quistis: We go back down and find the entrance and wait for the others to come.
Seifer: What if we bump into that thing again?
Quistis: On second thoughts we go ahead.
Seifer: What if that thing is after us?
Quistis: If we hear it, we hide in the shadows and when it's gone we run to the entrance.
Seifer: I wanna go.
Quistis: Me too.
Seifer: Damn Selphie. If she hadn't shown us this island I wouldn't be taking orders from you.
Quistis: Yeah. Well wasn't that guy talking about the book Irvine read?
Seifer: Yeah.
Quistis: He said it was time for someone to get hugged by the big bear.
Seifer: Yup. The three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Quistis: Two nigger boys?
Seifer: Yeah, two of us left.
Quistis: Seifer are you the killer?
Seifer: No. If anyone died I couldn't have killed them I was stuck here with you.
Quistis: You know it isn't me so don't shoot me.
Seifer: I don't have a gun.
Quistis: How do I know?
Seifer: Don't kill me either.
Quistis: I wish I could kill you.
Seifer: Hey you're lucky I don't have a gun or else you wouldn't have been alive to see this island.
*
Selphie: Irvine, must we go ahead?
Zell: Yeah, must we go ahead? The book gave me the creeps.
Irvine: You to? Ok. Let's go.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell turn around.
Zell: I don't remember this.
Selphie: Why is there a two-way path?
Irvine: I don't remember this do you?
Zell: Who's you?
Irvine: Does it really mater?
Selphie: This house outside was small, right?
Irvine and Zell: Yeah.
Irvine: We have to split up.
Selphie: I'm not going alone.
Zell: Squall said I should come here to stop Irvine from doing anything stupid but I think he meant protect Selphie. So I should go with Selphie.
Irvine: No, you are not leaving me here.
Selphie: Come on Irvine. You're strong.
Irvine: Yeah. I'll go.
Zell: Yeah right. He's strong?
Irvine: I'm not going.
Selphie: Zell why did you say that? Now he won't go.
Irvine: You didn't mean what you just said?
Selphie: No.
Zell: Why don't we all just go right?
Irvine and Selphie: Ok.
*
Squall: I think we should go back.
Rinoa: Are you serious?
Squall: Yeah, I really wanna go.
Rinoa: Me too.
Squall: So we will go.
Rinoa: Yeah.
Squall: Ok. Let's move.
*
Fujin: WANT TO GO BACK.
Raijin: You want to go back?
Fujin: YES.
Raijin: Ok.do we have to?
Fujin: YEAH. DIDN'T YOU READ THE BOOK?
Raijin: I did. You didn't.
Fujin: YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
Raijin: Ok, we will go.
*
Quistis: It's not following us.
Seifer: I know.
Quistis: So we just walk ahead?
Seifer: Yeah, why?
Quistis: I want to leave.
Seifer: Why?
Quistis: They might go without us.
Seifer: We will go ahead.
Quistis: What if we are the only ones left here?
Seifer: Then there isn't much we can do about it. I don't know how to ride a Ragnarok.
Quistis: I do know how to ride a Ragnarok.
Seifer: Forget it. We are not going to leave.
Quistis: What if something happens?
Seifer: You'll protect me.
Quistis: Ok.what? No way.
Seifer: Why not?
Quistis: Because I'm a girl.
Seifer: So what?
Quistis: You should be my knight in.the ragged coat.
Seifer: Why?
Quistis: Because you're a guy.
Seifer: But Rinoa always says come you guys. So you're a guy too.
Quistis: I really hate you.
Seifer: Great, me too. So we'll go ahead.
Quistis: Whatever.
Squall: DID SOMEONE SAY MY WORD? *
Selphie: I think we should have gone left.
Irvine: We went right?
Zell: Yes you twit.
Selphie: Zell, when we get home say: and then there were none.
Zell and Irvine: Why?
Selphie: So that I can buy a chocobo and I won't be thinking about it.
Zell: Ok.
Selphie: And buy a new book to read.
Irvine: Ok.
Zell: I hope we're going the right way.
Selphie: Me too.
Irvine: Maybe we're dreaming.
Selphie: The same dream?
Irvine: Yeah. It happened with Laguna.
Zell: Did you even see Laguna in the dream world?
Irvine: I can't remember.
Selphie: Ellone sent us to the dream world.
Zell: We know.
Irvine: If this is a dream that means there might be girls.
Zell and Selphie: Oh my god.
Irvine: What?
Selphie: Is that all you can think about?
Irvine: Well.Yeah.
Zell: Wait if there are girls in this dream that means that there are hotdogs.
Selphie: If there are hotdogs and girls in a place like THIS.
Zell: Go on. Go on. What is there?
Selphie: Then there is definitely a chocobo.
Zell: You don't need to be in a dream to see a chocobo.
Irvine: Yeah. Why a chocobo?
Selphie: So that I can run you over.
Zell hits Irvine on the head.
Zell: Why did you ask? You.you.you sack of potatoes.
Irvine: She was talking to you.
Zell: Why would she run me over? Why not you?
Irvine: Because she said, " I will run you over". She didn't say " I will run both of you over".
Selphie: Come on. Let's go ahead.
Zell: Yeah but.
Selphie: I'll run both of you over.
Irvine: Is that what you meant the other time or have you just changed you mind?
Selphie: That is what I meant the other time.
Zell: Told you so, Irvine.
Selphie: Both of you SHUT UP.
*
Rinoa: We are at the entrance. Happy?
Squall: No, I'm scared.
Rinoa: I'm going to wait in the Ragnarok.
Squall: I'll come with you.
Rinoa: Squall if there is a killer can I die first?
Squall: Yeah no problem.Wait. If you die first that means that I will be alone.
Rinoa: Yeah.
Squall: Oh no. I will die first.
Rinoa: Ok. I didn't think you would chicken out.
Squall: Grrr.Ok. I'll die last.
Rinoa: Great.
*
Quistis: I think we should walk faster.
Seifer: Quistis, if you can hear anything it's probable a rat.
Quistis: A rat that carries a disease?
Seifer: Is there a rat that doesn't carry a disease?
Quistis: No.
Seifer: Then what's the problem?
Quistis: I don't know yet. Let me think about it.
* Fujin: LIGHT.
Raijin: Were we in the dark?
Fujin: IDIOT.
Raijin: What did I say?
Fujin: LOOK.
Raijin: It's the entrance.
Raijin runs to the door and tries to jump on it.
SPLAT.
Raijin falls on the ground. Fujin walks over to him and looks at him.
Fujin: WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?
Raijin: Hug the door.
Fujin: PEOPLE USUALY KISS THE GROUND.
Raijin: Yeah.
Raijin kisses the ground.
Fujin: YOU KNOW, THE GROUND WAS THERE ALL THE TIME. IF YOU WANTED TO KISS IT YOU COULD HAVE JUST BENT DOWN AND KISSED IT.
Raijin: I hate you white haired freak.
Fujin: LET'S GO TO THE RAGNAROK.
Raijin: Ok.
*
Rinoa: Where do you think Seifer and Quistis are?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Squall? SQUALL.How could you sleep?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Hmmmm.I got it!
Rinoa goes and sits next to Squall.
Rinoa: WHATEVER.
Squall jumps up.
Squall: Who dares to say my word?
Rinoa: I.
Squall: How dare you?
Rinoa: How dare YOU fall asleep?
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Ok. If that's your answer then my answer is whatever.
Squall: Damn.
Rinoa: Hey did you just hear the door of the Ragnarok open?
Squall: You heard it to?
The door of the Ragnarok closes.
Rinoa: Shit.
Squall: What do we do?
Rinoa: Hide. Let's hide.
Squall: Where?
Rinoa: You remember when we painted your face?
Squall: YES.
Rinoa: Well we went up some ropes so that you wouldn't kill us.
Squall: So?
Rinoa: Those ropes are still up there.
Squall: We'll go up them and hide.
Rinoa: At last you got it.
Squall: Hurry, let's go.
*
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: Where?
Seifer: At the entrance.
Quistis: No.
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: I just told you.
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: Can't you see for yourself?
Seifer: No. Are we there yet?
Quistis: Seifer, why are you doing this?
Seifer: What?
Quistis: Why are you saying "are we there yet"?
Seifer: Because I just saw "The return of the mummy".
Quistis: Just.meaning when exactly?
Seifer: Before we left for this journey.
Quistis: And why say "are we there yet"?
Seifer: Because that is what the little boy says.
Quistis: Why does the boy say it?
Seifer: When we get back to Balamb you'll see "The return of the mummy."
Quistis: Ok.
Seifer: Let's go ahead.
Quistis and Seifer walk ahead. Quistis puts on a little smile.
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: No.
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: Why are you doing this to me?
Quistis: Are we there yet?
Seifer: Oh no. Your gonna be saying this all the time, aren't you?
Quistis: Yeah. Are we there yet?
*
Selphie: Does anyone know where we're going?
Irvine: No.
Zell: No.
Selphie: If we get lost blame Zell.
Zell: Why me?
Selphie: Because you're the guy who told us to go this way.
Irvine: Stop.
Selphie: Talking? Why should we stop talking?
Irvine: No. Stop walking and whisper.
Selphie and Zell start whispering.
Selphie: By the way why are we whispering?
Irvine: Look.
Zell: At what?
Irvine: That light.
Selphie: So?
Irvine: It's talking.
Selphie: The light?
Zell: Wow. A talking light. We should go up there and photo it.
Irvine: No you twits. There is a guy holding the light.
Selphie: Get down to the point.
Zell: We should hide.
Selphie: Why?
Zell: They're coming closer.
Irvine: Yeah. Let's go and hide in the shadows.
Selphie: Be quiet I wanna hear what they're saying.
Zell: Man, Why don't they put toilets back here?
Irvine: Because you shouldn't want to go to the toilet in the middle of a hall. Also it's not flattering to have a toilet in the middle of the hall.
Selphie: Shut up.
A hooded man walks by. Next to him is a chest that is following him.
Irvine: A walking light, a walking chest.what more do you want?
Hooded man: I'm gonna make a lot of money.
The chest starts talking.
Chest: Yeah.
Zell: Oh my god.
Selphie: Don't freak out yet.
Hooded man: I will make it funny.
Irvine: What the hell is he talking about?
Chest: That sounds more logical.
Zell: What? The talking chest?
The hooded man and the chest walk out of sight.
Selphie: Now you can freak out.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Hooded man: Hmmmm.
Selphie: Oh my god. He's coming back.
Irvine: How do you know it's a guy?
Selphie: Are we going to talk about that now?
The footsteps get closer.
Zell: RUN.
Zell, Irvine and Selphie start running.
Hooded man: Ahh.
Selphie, Irvine and Zell run out of sight.
Hooded man: It's fun playing with them.
Chest: You should tell the boss what happened.
Hooded man: And I thought that my magic powers were useless.
*
Fujin: WE ARE IN THE RAGNAROK.
Raijin( in a sarcastic voice): You don't say.
Fujin: I JUST DID.
Raijin: Hey did you hear that?
Fujin: YEAH. IT WAS LIKE TWO PEOPLE CLIMBING A ROPE.
Raijin: Whatever.
*
Raijin: Whatever.
Rinoa: Squall.
Squall: What?
Rinoa: Don't say, "that's my word".
Squall: But it IS my word.
Rinoa: Wasn't that Raijin's voice?
Squall: I think so. Should we get down?
Rinoa: No. We have to be sure.
Squall: Please can we get down?
Rinoa: Why do you want to get down so much?
Squall: Because my butt is hurting.
Rinoa: Squall, your butt always hurts.
Squall starts crying.
Squall: That's not true.
Rinoa: It is.
Squall: It's not. Waaaaaaaaa.
Rinoa: What is it now?
Squall: My girlfriend said that my butt was always hurting.
Rinoa: Well your lucky your girlfriend didn't say you have a big butt.
Squall: Gulp.
*
Quistis: What time is it?
Seifer: Are we there yet?
Quistis: NOOO.
Seifer: It should be morning.
Quistis: It was night?
Seifer: groan
Quistis: What?
Seifer: And then they say you're the bright one.
Quistis: I am. I've been taught better then you.
Seifer: Are you forgetting something?
Quistis: I never forget.what is it?
Seifer: YOU TAUGHT US.
Quistis: .As I was saying the best teacher has taught you.
Seifer: Yeah right.
Quistis: Oh my god.
Seifer: What?
Quistis: Is that the door?
Seifer: Woohoo.
Quistis: I don't believe it.
Seifer: I would kiss the ground, but I can see someone has already kissed it.
Quistis: Let's go in the Ragnarok.
*
Selphie: I think we are far away from that guy.
Irvine: It's a girl.
Selphie: Then why was it talking with a voice like yours?
Zell: Because Irvine is gay.
Irvine: WHATTTTTTTTTT?
Zell: Yeah. Don't you remember when you where hitting on me?
Irvine: I am gonna say this for the last time I was not hitting on you.
Selphie starts crying.
Irvine and Zell: What?
Selphie: We will never get out of this place. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Irvine: You're right.
Irvine starts crying.
Zell: Oh my god.
Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Zell: Ok. I'll join in as well.
Zell starts crying as well.
Zell, Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Selphie: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Zell: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Selphie: It's not a contest.
*
Raijin: My Ragnarok!
Raijin plops down and kisses the Ragnarok.
Fujin: WE DIDN'T JUST GET HERE.
Raijin: But I forgot to kiss the Ragnarok.
Fujin: SO YOU TOOK ME TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE RAGNAROK JUST SO YOU COULD KISS IT?
Raijin: Yeah.
Fujin: TELL ME WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED KISSING IT.
Raijin: Ok, I've finished.
*
Squall: .
Rinoa: I can't hear anything. Squall can you hear anything?
Squall: .
Rinoa: Squall.
Squall: .
Rinoa: Oh my god. You sleep on the ground. That is ok, but you sleep in the air.
Squall snores loudly.
Rinoa: Shut up. They'll hear us.
Squall: What?
Rinoa: You woke up!
Fujin: RINOA.
Rinoa: Fujin?
Raijin: Get down here, ya know.
Squall and Rinoa get off the ropes.
Rinoa: Let's go into the driving room.
Squall: Whatever.
They all go into the driving room.
Rinoa: I don't know how to drive the Ragnarok.
Fujin: ME NEITHER.
Squall: I don't know.
Raijin: Me neither, ya know.
Rinoa: No I don't know! Great.
Squall: Wanna sleep?
Rinoa: That's what you've been doing all day.
Fujin: NO.
Raijin: I don't wanna sleep.
*
Quistis: Ahh. The entrance of the Ragnarok.
Seifer: Damn.
Quistis: What?
Seifer: I was gonna kiss the ground here but it's been kissed.
Quistis: Whatever.
Squall: THAT'S MY WORD.
Seifer: Was that Squall?
Seifer and Quistis run to the driving room.
Quistis: Oh my god.
Squall: Hi.
Seifer: You're all here?
Fujin: SELPHIE, IRVINE AND ZELL AREN'T.
Raijin: Oh yeah, I forgot about them.
Rinoa: Did you find anything?
Quistis: No. What about you?
Squall: Nothing.
Raijin: Nothing.
Seifer: Let's go.
Squall: But, what about Selphie, Irvine and Zell?
Quistis: We'll wait here.
Raijin: Damn. Do we have to?
Fujin: YES.
Rinoa: Maybe we should look for them.
Everyone: NOOOO.
*
Selphie: Hey. Do you think we should wait for someone to come and get us?
Zell: Not again.
Irvine: Yeah.and we can't scream because the hooded girl will come.
Selphie: It's a man.
Irvine: It's a girl.
Zell: It's a thing.
Selphie and Irvine: Ok.
Zell: Now walk.
Irvine: Wait.
Selphie: What? Is it a walking chest?
Zell: Is it a walking light?
Irvine: No. It's the.WOOHOO.
Selphie: He's lost it.
Zell: Yup.
Irvine: Is that the.
Selphie: What?
Zell: Say it.
Irvine: Entrance.
Selphie: Huh?
Zell: Irvine, are you felling ok?
Irvine: It's the entrance.
Zell: Where?
Irvine: Well it's not behind me.
Zell: Ahh. Yes.
Zell and Selphie turn around.
Selphie: It is the door but.
Zell and Irvine: What?
Selphie: Isn't that shape on it like Raijin?
Irvine: Yeah.
Zell: Ok. So what, let's just go.
Irvine: The book doesn't say: Six little nigger boys stuck in a bee-hive One falls on the door and then there were five.
Selphie: Anyway, I'm going in the Ragnarok.
Irvine: I'll come with you.
Zell: Me too.
*
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Rinoa: Ok, Britney Spears.
Squall: I just can't sleep.
Seifer: I wish you were crazy.
Quistis: Why?
Seifer: Because then he wouldn't mind me killing him.
Squall: My heart is jumping.
Raijin: It is?
Rinoa: Your heart looks ok to me.
Squall: Whatever.
Seifer goes to take out his gunblade. Rinoa straightens her hair.
Squall: STOP.
Everyone stops.
Quistis: Say what it is. My pen is gonna slip and I don't want the next test to come out all messy.
Rinoa: I want to straighten my hair.
Seifer: This gunblade is heavy.
Squall: You drive me crazy babe.
Zell: Was that the line in the song?
Squall: Yeah. Yay, yay oooo.
Everyone goes on doing what they wanted to do.
Rinoa straitens her hair and Seifer takes out his gunblade.
Seifer: Hehe.
Seifer charges at Squall.
Squall: Oh no.
Squall runs around the room singing with Seifer close behind.
Seifer: When I'm finished with you, you'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Seifer: If you keep running around the room I'll drive you mad.
Squall: Crazy but it feels alright, babe thinking of you keeps me up all night.
Rinoa: Squall has feelings for Seifer.
Seifer: Rinoa, when I'm done with Squall you're next.
Rinoa: Shit.
Suddenly Irvine comes in the room.
Irvine: Hi guys.
Squall runs next to Irvine and tapes him on the arm.
Irvine: Hi Squall.
Squall points at Seifer.
Squall: Look.
Irvine turns around and sees Seifer.
Irvine: AAAAAAA.
Squall continues running around the room with Irvine behind him screaming and Seifer running after them trying to squash them.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: COME HERE.
Squall: You drive me crazy.
Selphie and Zell come in the room.
Selphie: Why is Seifer chasing Irvine and why is Squall singing Britney Spears?
Quistis: Come, sit down and watch the show.
Zell: Ok.
Squall: Oh babe, babe I'm so into you.
Rinoa: He has started the song from the beginning.
Seifer: I'll squash you like I squashed my watermelon.
Zell: I bet he sat on it.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAA. SELPHIEEEEEEE. SAVE ME.
Quistis: We should get Irvine a bodyguard.
Raijin: Yeah. We should, ya know.
Fujin: FUNNY.
Seifer: Come over here.
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAA, Squall run faster.
Squall: The earth is moving but I can't feel the ground.
Rinoa: Then how do you know the earth is moving?
Quistis: You can't feel the ground?
Zell: I wonder what that feels like.
Fujin: EVERYONE IS LOSING IT.
Raijin: BWAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA.
After one hour.
Seifer: Time out.
Squall: We'll continue later. You drive me crazy.
Irvine: Ok. Just stop singing.
Squall: I can't. It's stuck in my head. My heart is jumping.
Squall, Seifer and Irvine sit down.
Squall: Rinoa.she's asleep.
Irvine: Selphie WAKE UP.
Seifer jumps up in the air.
Seifer: Quistis is asleep.
Squall: And that makes you happy?
Seifer: Yeah.
Irvine: Why?
Seifer: No Quistis = No tests.
Squall, Irvine and Seifer: WOOHOO.
Quistis: What?
Squall: Oh no.
Selphie: What happed?
Rinoa: Yeah. What is so bad?
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Raijin: What is Seifer chasing you?
Seifer: You'll pay for that Raijin.
Fujin: WHATEVER.
Zell: Hey we didn't tell the guys about the hooded man.
Selphie: You would remember him wouldn't you?
Irvine: Ok. We'll tell them.
Rinoa: What is it?
Selphie tells them about the hooded man.
Squall: A walking chest?
Seifer: Did you guys drink?
Zell: No.
Irvine: Is there a toilet in the Ragnarok?
Raijin: No.
Selphie: Anyway. We are still on this island.
Everyone: Let's get out of here.
Selphie starts the Ragnarok.
Quistis: You could have told me you would start the Ragnarok.
Selphie: Why?
Quistis: I was writing the test and my pen slipped.
Selphie: So? Write the test on a different piece of paper.
Quistis: I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER.
Seifer: Hehehe.
Quistis: Shut up.
Squall: Who were you talking to?
Quistis: Everyone.
Selphie: Guys the Ragnarok is gonna fall.
Everyone: What?
Selphie: Put your seatbelts on.
Everyone puts their seatbelts on.
Irvine: I DON'T HAVE A SEATBELT.
Selphie: That is because you're in the wrong seat.
Irvine: What difference does it make?
Selphie: Well first you are sitting on the table and that does not have a seatbelt.
Irvine runs into his seat and puts his seatbelt on.
Quistis: Where are we falling?
Selphie: We are falling in that desert.
Rinoa: Shit.
Selphie: It's the only desert that has thieves.
Squall: What more do we want?
Selphie: We are falling.1.2.3.
The Ragnarok starts falling.
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Irvine: You should put toilets here.
Seifer: Wow. Look down.
Irvine looks down.
Irvine: MAMMAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: HEHE.
Irvine: I need to go to the toilet.
Rinoa: Well you can't in the middle of the desert.
The Ragnarok falls with a big crash.
BANG.
Rinoa: Stupid author! You said it fell with a crash.
Author: Whatever.
Squall: Hey.
Selphie: Get off the Ragnarok.
Seifer: Ok.
They get off the Ragnarok.
Irvine: It's weird.
Raijin: This place?
Fujin: YEAH.
Rinoa: Ok. Let's search.
Squall: Why do you always want to search?
Rinoa: You got a problem?
Squall: Errr.no.
Irvine: Look, I'm ok with searching.but do we have to split up?
Seifer: No.
Zell: It's ok if you don't want to split up.
Irvine: Really?
Zell: Yeah. We always end up splitting up.
Irvine: Damn.
Selphie: What happens if we forget where the Ragnarok is?
Seifer: We'll have to find it.
After a few hours of searching.
Squall: Are you bored?
Irvine: I'm playing with my playboy.
Irvine looks at Selphie.
Irvine: Bad.
Selphie: I'm thinking of what to do with the Ragnarok.
Fujin: BORED.
Raijin: Me too.
Seifer: I'm playing.
Squall: With what?
Seifer: I have a doll of me and a doll of you. I'm killing you.
Zell: Hotdogs in the air, hotdogs on the ground.there everywhere.
Squall: Ok we got it Zell.
Quistis: I'm thinking of the new test.
Squall: Rinoa, what are you looking at?
Rinoa: See that cloud of smoke?
Everyone looks at the cloud of smoke.
Selphie: It must be the thieves.
Seifer: Cool. Let's go up there.
Irvine: I won't go.
They all run up to the cloud of smoke.
Seifer: Irvine is heavy. Give me a hand.
Squall and Seifer carry Irvine up to the cloud of smoke.
Rinoa: I can't see anyone.
Selphie: Ok. But we should hide because I can see someone coming.
They hide behind a little mountain of sand.
Irvine: I won't go.
Seifer: Is your brain still there?
Irvine: Yeah.
Squall: Look if you don't shut up we'll find ourselves in a pot ready to be eaten.
Irvine: Raw?
Quistis: Yes.
Fujin: YUCK.
Rinoa: Look! Now you've made him cry.
Irvine: WAAAAAAA.
Zell: SHHHHHH.
A man goes near the fire.
Selphie: That is the hooded guy.
Irvine: How can you tell?
Selphie: Because he's wearing the same hooded cloak.
Irvine: Oh yeah. That is him.
Zell: He's been on a diet.
Selphie and Irvine: Huh?
Zell: He's thinner.
Selphie examines the guy.
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: I told you it's a woman.
Squall: Hey look! here comes another hooded guy.
The hooded men sit down.
Hooded man: Well?
Man in black cape: What?
Hooded man: I want money.
Man in black cape: Here.
He hands the hooded man some money.
Zell: Wow.
Squall: Seifer! Help me hold back Zell.
Zell: MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!
Hooded man: Good.
Man in black cape: See ya.
The man in the black cape walks away.
Selphie: What Seed rank do you have Zell?
Zell: Rank one.
Seifer: You get 500Gil?
Zell: Yeah.
Raijin: Hehe.
Fujin: FUN.
Rinoa: Fujin is only saying fun.
Squall: Whatever.
Hooded man: He was right.they are fun.
Selphie: Who's they?
The hooded man walks away.
Irvine: Where is he going?
Seifer: Somewhere.
Zell: Irvine should get his own pick up toilet.
Rinoa: Oh, yeah. He should carry it around with him.
Selphie: Do you think there is a chocobo forest here?
Squall: A chocobo forest in the middle of the desert?
Selphie: Ok. Do you think there is a chocobo desert here?
Everyone: No.
Squall: You think we should take out the GFs?
Seifer: No.
Shiva: Why not?
Seifer: Because you'll freeze us.
Ifrit: I'm here.
Irvine: HOT, HOT, HOT.
Rinoa: Cold, cold, cold.
Shiva and Ifrit: Shut up.
Squall: You shut up.
Quistis: Squall wasn't I teaching you something that said love and speak nicely to your GF?
Cactus: Ohhh, Quistis.
Cactus hugs Quistis.
Quistis: OUCHHHHHHHHHHH. Get off me you spiky thing.
Squall: What where you saying Quistis?
Quistis: Nothing.
Seifer: Which GF is junctioned onto who?
Quistis: I have Cactus and Doomtrain.
Squall: I have Shiva and Siren.
Seifer: I know I have Ifrit.
Selphie: You took him from me! Anyway I have tonberry.
Zell: I've got Quezacotl.
Irvine: I've got Pandemona and Bahamaut.
Squall: I was wondering where he went.
Irvine: I feel safe with him.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: I have Carbuncle, Brothers, Leviathan and Eden.
Fujin: NOTHING.
Raijin: Yeah. We don't have GFs.
Seifer: Rinoa you have a hundred GFs.
Rinoa: They are friends.
Squall: You took Eden from me.
Rinoa: So what? I took Shiva from you once.
Squall: You're all taking GFs from me.
Eden: Bahamut could you give me some of that popcorn?
Big brother: You want a Pepsi little bro?
Little brother: Yeah. Thanks.
Seifer: You stupid GFs you aren't on vacation.
Shiva: We aren't?
Leviathan: Oh, Yeah. There isn't any sea.
Little brother: Damn.
Quezacotl: We need a vacation.
Quistis: Well if you want a vacation you could help us get out of here.
Shiva: On second thoughts we don't want the vacation so much.
Ifrit: Yeah.
Selphie: Look, you came out to help us and you will.
Carbuncle: So what do we do?
Irvine: Tell us where the Ragnarok is.
Selphie: No, we know where the Ragnarok is.
Irvine: We do?
Squall: Yeah.
Rinoa: Will we go to the Ragnarok of not?
They go to the Ragnarok.
Zell: So.
Raijin: What do we do?
Shiva: Dance.
Ifrit: Sleep.
Carbuncle: Play.
Siren: Sing.
Selphie: Ride a chocobo.
Irvine: Shoot something.
Squall: Whatever.
Seifer: Kill Squall.
Squall: I heard that.
Fujin: ZZZZZZ.
Rinoa: Fujin made her point pretty clear.
Zell: Eat hotdogs.
Quistis: I'LL GIVE YOU A TEST.
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Quistis: Ok. Calm down.
Eden: Why don't you guys just go?
Seifer: Hello? Don't you know that it is out of petrol?
Shiva: It takes petrol?
Squall: Oh no.
They explain everything that happed to the GFs.
Ifrit: Hehe.
Carbuncle starts sniggering.
Shiva: Hahaha.
Big brother: I don't think I've laughed so much in my life.
Little brother: Bwahaha.
Seifer: We didn't tell you the story so that you'd laugh.
Squall: Shut up you stupid GFs.
Zell: Let's look ahead.
Rinoa: Where is ahead?
Selphie: Don't know.
Raijin: What are we going to do now?
Rinoa: Is this the type of fanfiction where you can tell the author to get rid of someone?
Author: No.
Rinoa: Too bad.
Quistis: Yeah, we could have got rid of Raijin.
Selphie: Anyway.let's go up in the lift.
Squall: The lift is for three people.
Fujin: YEAH.
Seifer: I'm going in the lift.
Rinoa: Me too.
Squall: I'll go in the lift to see that Seifer doesn't do anything.
Quistis: If he does give him three slaps from me.
Squall: Ok.
Selphie: I'm not gonna wait for you guys. I'll go up the steps.
Irvine: I'll come.
Zell: I need to lose a kilo.
Quistis: Just one?
Zell: .Or two.
Raijin: Or ten.
Zell: HOW MANY KILOS DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE?
Fujin: TWENTY.
Zell: Gulp.
Quistis: Hehe.
Zell: So everyone is going up the steps except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer (yuck).
Squall: Yeah.
Everyone except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer run up the steps.
Rinoa walks into the lift.
Rinoa: Come on.
Seifer and Squall get stuck in the doorway.
Squall: You're in the doorway!
Seifer: So are you!
Seifer and Squall: Move it! Who? Me? No, you!
Squall: Rinoa, pull me in.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Rinoa pulls Squall in the lift. Squall falls onto the wall.
Squall: Ouch.
From the force Seifer falls on Squall.
SQUASH.
Rinoa: Hehe.
Seifer: Thanks Squall.
Squall: Why you little $^&&^^%%#$$#$&*!@#$%^&*.
The lift starts going up.
Rinoa: Why is the lift shaking?
The lift stops.
Seifer: Uh oh.
Squall: Maybe Seifer is the guy who should lose a kilo.
Seifer: WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of all the guys.
Rinoa: I think he is losing it.
Squall: Yeah.
Seifer: Cowboy-shit, Chicken-wuss, Ya-know-it-all-Raijin. I'm stuck here with girl guy.
Squall: Isn't that Irvine?
Seifer: No, It's you. Because you're a guy and you look like a girl.
Squall: Hey!
Rinoa: Do you think we'll get out of here?
Seifer: No.
Squall: Yes.
Rinoa: Why no?
Seifer: Because I have a cloud of bad luck around me and we are here with Squall and that is bad luck and I'm suffering, that means that my bad luck is working.
Rinoa: Ok.I didn't understand one word you said.
Seifer: Squall, why do you think we are gonna get out of here?
Squall: Because I AM THE MAIN GUY OF THIS FANFICTION AND THE MAIN GUY CAN'T STAY IN A LIFT.
Seifer: Let's say you're right.I am the bad guy and I should stay in a lift so you can't get out of here.
Squall: Maybe I should kill you right now.
Rinoa: I don't think that would be a good idea.
*
Selphie: Why aren't they here?
Quistis: The lift is faster, isn't it?
Fujin: YEAH.
Zell: I didn't lose a kilo.
Irvine: How do you know?
Zell: I weighed myself.
Raijin: Where?
Zell: Right there.
Zell points to some scales.
Selphie: How many kilos are you?
Zell: Erm.um.hmm.58 kilos.
Selphie: 58! No way! Quistis is 58! She is thinner than you.
Quistis: Thank you.
Zell: Ok, I'm 59. Not a big difference.
Irvine: I'll weigh myself.
Raijin: Me too.
Selphie: I'm after Raijin.
Fujin: AFTER SELPHIE.
Irvine weights himself.
Selphie: How much are you?
Irvine: 85.
Zell: Then you say I'm the one who has to lose kilos.
Irvine: Shut up.
Raijin: I'm exactly 81.
Selphie: I'm 45.
Quistis: I know I'm 58.I think Rinoa is 48.
Fujin: 50.
*
Seifer: Haya!!!!
Rinoa: Hehehe.
Squall: Seifer, what the hell are you doing?
Rinoa: Hehe.well, he is sitting down and is holding a doll of himself.
Squall: I think he is loosing it.where did he get that doll of himself?
Rinoa: Look he's got out a doll of you!
Seifer: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!
Squall: Seifer, why do you have a doll of me?
Seifer: I'm your #1 knock off head fan.
Squall: Am I supposed to be flattered?
Rinoa: IRVINE!
Squall: Why are you screaming for Irvine?
Rinoa: It's the first name that came into my head.I was thinking about a dork and I found one.
Seifer: KO.
Squall: Who? You?
Seifer: No, you.
Squall kicks Seifer.
Seifer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Squall: Did it hurt that much?
Seifer: Oh my god! I hate this bad luck cloud.
Rinoa: Seifer what happened?
Seifer: My Squall dolly fell down there.
Squall: Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Seifer starts crying.
Rinoa: It's not that bad.
Seifer: I'll never see my Squall dolly again.sniff.
Rinoa turns around and faces Squall.
Squall: Is he serious?
Rinoa: I think that in a few days time he won't only be your #1 knock off head fan.
*
Irvine: I sense there is a girl in the Ragnarok.
Zell looks at Quistis, Selphie and Fujin.
Zell: Just one?
Irvine: Why? Do you see any more?
Quistis: Ahem.
Rinoa: IRVINE, MOVE IT!
Irvine: See? Told you it was a girl.
Selphie: That's Rinoa.
Quistis: Let's go find out.
Raijin: Where do we go?
Fujin: LIFT.
* Seifer: Why? Why my Squall dolly?
Rinoa: Don't you have another one?
Seifer: Boohoohoo.yeah.
Squall: If you have another Squall doll why are you crying?
Seifer: I liked that one.
Rinoa: What did that one have that was so special?
Seifer: A loose head.
Squall: Whatever.
Irvine: Rinoa?
Seifer: Cow-crap?
*
Zell: Hehe.
Irvine: Great, first it was cowboy-crap then it became cowboy-shit and now its cow-crap.
Raijin: Out of all the names you just said, cow-crap is the best for you.
Selphie: haha.
Quistis: RINOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
Rinoa: THE LIFT STOPED.
Zell: SHOUT LOUDER.
Seifer: GET US OUT OF HERE CHICKEN-WUSS.
Squall: WHERE ARE YOU?
Quistis: LOOK UP.
They look up and see Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Fujin, Quistis and Raijin.
Rinoa: If you're right over us why where we shouting?
Raijin: Don't know.
Seifer: Who is the strongest out of you guys?
Quistis: Irvine.
Seifer: Ok, Irvine you hold Selphie.
Irvine: No problem.
Seifer: Raijin will hold onto Selphie and we will climb up.
Selphie: No way.
After a long time of deciding who will sit where and that they couldn't use GFs for this.
Irvine: Zell, you're heavy.
Raijin: Zell, hold onto me properly.
Zell: Why has everyone got a problem with me?
Seifer: I don't.
Squall: OK.Zell get Rinoa up.
Rinoa grabs onto Zell.
Zell: I think I'm gonna split in two.
Squall: Imagine what will happen when Seifer climbs up him.
Zell: Shit.
Rinoa climbs up.
Squall starts climbing up.
Zell: How many kilos are you Squall?
Squall: Less then Seifer.
Seifer: Shut up.
Squall climbs up.
Seifer starts climbing.
Zell: I think I gonna puke all the hotdogs I've eaten.
Seifer: Too bad Squall isn't down there.
Squall: Zell, If you puke in the lift of the Ragnarok you will clean it up.
Rinoa: If you puke I'll never go into the Ragnarok's lift again.
Seifer gets up.
Zell: Get me up!!!!
Irvine: Why?
Zell: I don't like hanging upside-down.
They all get Zell up.
Raijin: I'm exhausted, ya know.
Rinoa: No we don't know.
Fujin: ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Irvine: I'm exhausted too.can we sleep?
Rinoa: My voice.
Seifer: OK, let's go sleep.
*
Irvine: Snore.
Selphie: ZZZZZZ.
Squall kicks Seifer in his sleep.
Seifer: Why you little.
Seifer kicks Squall back and goes back to sleep.
A Hooded man walks in and leaves something.
In the morning Seifer wakes up huging Quistis.or what he thinks is Quistis.
Seifer: Morning.
Quistis: .
Seifer: Why am I hugging Squa.AAAAAAAAAAAA.
Squall: What is it?
Seifer: Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Squall: What?
Seifer: I need a shower.
Squall: Ahh.you smelt yourself.
Seifer: If I hadn't just woken up your head would be.
Squall: Yuck.I've got to go puke.
Rinoa: Why?
Squall: Because Seifer touched me.
Carbuncle: You people do sleep a lot.
Little brother: You know what I realized big bro?
Big brother: No.
Little brother: They've got our names wrong.
Big brother: Oh yeah.
Irvine: You have different names?
Rinoa: Of course they do.Sacred and Minotaur.
Irvine: And who is who?
Big brother: Let's just stick to Little and Big brother.
Seifer: What is that?
Squall: You stupid twit it's a bit of paper.
Quistis: Is it a test?
Quistis's eyes start growing.
Raijin: Someone hide the piece of paper.
Selphie: Ok.
Selphie hides the piece of paper.
Rinoa: Weren't we in the desert?
Fujin: YES.
Irvine: Why?
Zell: YEAH, baby.
Squall: Zell?
Seifer: what is it?
Zell: I found a box of hotdogs.
Raijin: Ok.
Zell goes in the room and starts putting hotdogs on his seat.
Seifer: What the hell are you doing?
Zell: I want the place to smell of hotdogs.I'll take them away.
Zell walks out of the room.
Quistis: Thank god.
CRASH.
Zell: QUISTIS, HOW DO YOU GET KETCHUP OFF THE GROUND?
Selphie: Oh no.not on the floor or the Ragnarok.
Rinoa: Guys do you know what is going on?
Seifer: Sure.chicken-wuss is killing hotdogs and cow-crap is gonna start crying.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Rinoa: We are in the jungle.
Squall: Why did you take us here?
Rinoa: Me?
Selphie: Shit.
Seifer: Do you know that we are swearing a lot?
Squall: Sure, all the swearing started when you came with us.
Fujin: LOOK.
Zell runs in the door screaming.
Quistis: What is it?
Zell: There are monkeys in the Ragnarok.
Everyone: WHAT?
Rinoa: I'll go outside and try to find out where we are.
Quistis: I'll come.
Selphie: Me too.
Irvine: Hey, girls.
Zell: I'll go as well.
Irvine: We can go with the girls? Oh, good. I'll come.
Fujin: ME TOO.
Squall: Hey, I'll come.
Seifer: Me too.
Raijin: Ok, we are all going.
*
Outside the Ragnarok.
Squall: Ok.what do we do?
Seifer: Let's search.
Squall: Ok. I'll go with Rinoa.
Rinoa: No way!
Seifer: Good, I'll go with Rinoa.
Quistis: No, Seifer and Squall will saty here and we'll go check out this place.
Rinoa: Do we agree?
Selphie: Sure.
Irvine: Yeah.
Zell: Ok.
Raijin: I'll come.
Fujin: Me too.
They all start walking away.
Squall: Wait! You're leaving me with Seifer?
Seifer: Alone with Squall?
Selphie: Yeah.bye.
Quistis: You just wait here.
They walk away.
Squall and Seifer: Shit.
*
After an hour.
Selphie: Guys I wanna go back.
Rinoa: We haven't found anything.
Irvine: We should go back.
Quistis: Zell.why is there ketchup on you're butt?
Zell: What? Crap! I was sure I didn't sit on that hotdog.
Raijin: Hehe.
Zell tries to get the ketchup off his trousers.
Fujin: HAHA.
Quistis: You're making it worse, Zell.
Zell: Bugger! I know.
Rinoa: Then stop trying.
Selphie: Can you see the Ragnarok?
Irvine: No.
Raijin: Oh no.
Fujin: LOST.
Raijin: See? We went where cow-crap did and we got lost. That means that I'm not the only guy that gets us lost.
Irvine: I thought only Seifer calls me cow-crap.
Selphie: No, cow-crap.
Irvine: Great! My girlfriend is calling me cow-crap.
Quistis: Why don't we try to find the Ragnarok.
Zell: Sure.
*
Seifer: Where do you think they are?
Squall: Somewhere.
Seifer: I'm hungry.
Squall: Me too.
Seifer: Do you think there is food up this tree?
Squall: Maybe.
Seifer: Who will climb up the tree?
Squall: I wouldn't want to hurt it's bark.
Seifer: Me neither.
Squall: Don't make me angry.
Seifer: It's ok if you get angry.
Squall: Really?
Seifer: Yeah, I'll know why you're angry.
Squall: Why?
Seifer: Because of the heat.
Squall: What?
Seifer: Yeah, you're wearing black and black absorbs the heat.
Squall: Get up the tree!!!!!!
Seifer: No.
Squall: Do you know what we didn't think of?
Seifer: How to kill you?
Squall: No, we can shake the tree.
Seifer: Ok. On the count of three.1.2.3.
Seifer and Squall shake the tree and a big monkey falls down.
Monkey: GFGUJG.
Seifer: Errrrrr.hi.
Squall: He doesn't look happy.
Monkey: GRRRRRRRRRRR.
The monkey raises his arms.
Monkey: MORGERRRRRRRRR.
Squall: He has a poor vocabulary.
Seifer: But he makes his point clear.
Monkey: AAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer and Squall run up the tree.
Seifer: Thank god.we are safe up here.
Squall: Seifer did you know that monkeys can climb trees?
The monkay starts climbing the tree.
Squall: AAAAAAAA.
Seifer: And very quickly.
The monkey starts walking towards them.
Seifer: Look who we meet again.
Squall: The world is small.
Seifer: Squall, what do we do?
Squall: I don't know.
Seifer: I got it! We'll do a Tarzan.
Squall: A WHAT?
Seifer: A Tarzan. We'll swing from tree to tree.
Squall: WITH A GUNBLADE ON OUR BACK?
Seifer: That might be a problem.but who cares?
Squall: I care.
Seifer: Ok, you'll get betten up by the monkey and I'll do a Tarzan.
Seifer starts swinging from tree to tree.
Seifer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Squall: You would make a good Tarzan.
Seifer: Shut up! Anyway Squall, it was fun.
Squall: What was fun?
Seifer: Knowing you.
Squall: Why WAS it fun? What is happening to me?
Seifer: You're gonna get squashed by the monkey.
Squall turns around and sees the monkey with raised arms.
Squall flings himself onto a branch that is swaying.
Squall: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: You're a better Tarzan than me.
Squall: AAAAAAAAA.I know.AAAAAAAAAAAA.
Seifer: Maybe you make a better Jane.
*
Selphie: Ok, we are in the middle of the jungle.
Irvine: Maybe if we don't try to find the others they will come and get us.
Quistis: What would make you think that?
Irvine: Isn't that what has happened so far?
Zell: Yeah, but we told them to stay where they are.
Fujin: DORKS.
Raijin: Thanks Fujin.
Rinoa: Let's just walk ahead and see where we'll end up.
Selphie: What if we fall into a trap?
Rinoa: We'll stand on each other's heads and we'll get out of the trap.
Irvine: Raijin and Zell will not stand on my head.
Selphie: My legs.I'm tired.
Irvine: Do you want me to hold you?
Selphie: Wow! Suddenly I feel great.
Everyone walks away.
Irvine: Did I say something?
* Seifer: Come on Jane!
Squall: Grrrr.Ok.Xu.
Seifer: WHAT?????????????????
Squall: Hehe.what is it Xu?
Seifer: Stop calling me Xu.
Squall: Stop calling me Jane.
Seifer: Ok, Barbie.
Squall: Yuck that's worse. Hmmmmm.You want to be a guy?
Seifer: Yup.
Squall: Ok Cid.
Seifer: SAY WHAT?
Squall: Maybe I should call him Zell.
*
Rinoa: Hey!
Zell: What?
Rinoa: It's a dead end.
Irvine: How can there be a dead end in the middle of the jungle?
Rinoa: I don't know. But whatever it is, it is covered with plants.
Quistis: Well, we could try to pull down the plants.
Selphie start pulling on a plant.
Selphie: I found a hole.
Zell: Look through it.
Selphie looks through the hole.
Selphie: Shit.
Irvine: What?
Selphie: An ant.
Quistis: Ant? It's a plant not ivy.
Selphie: Not a normal ant.
Rinoa: What? An alian ant?
Selphie: No, a huge ant.
Raijin: How big?
Selphie: Why don't you look?
Raijin looks into the hole.
Raijin: Holy shit.
Quistis: Our swearing vocabulary is growing.
Raijin: So is the size of ants these days.
Rinoa: It can't be that big. Let me look.
Raijin: Be my guest.
Rinoa looks through the hole.
Rinoa: That is an ant?
Irvine: Let me looky.
Irvine looks through the hole.
Irvine: Gulp.
Irvine's eyes grow.
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Quistis: What?
Irvine: It will eat us.and I haven't gone on a date with the library girl yet. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Selphie: IRVINE.
Irvine looks at Selphie.
Irvine: And my girlfriend is gonna break up with me.Waaaaaaaa.
Quistis looks through the hole.
Quistis: That ant is bigger then an elephant.
Fujin: HUGE.
Selphie: What do we do?
Quistis: It's coming our way.
Zell: Crap.
Quistis: We'll fight it.
Rinoa: We have to fight it?
Raijin: We have our wepons.
Zell: .And we forgot to junction our GFs.
Quistis: What? Zell, I have gone over the way to junction a GF seven times. Do you want me to tell you again?
Zell: Nooooooooooooo.
Rinoa: Good job, Zell. Now it IS coming our way.
Raijin: What do we do?
Selphie: Yeah. We can't fight it.
Irvine: RUNNNNNN.
Irvine runs away.
Selphie: I think we should follow.
Rinoa: Yeah.
They all start running.
Selphie: I can't move in this dress.
*
Seifer: Go Barbie!
Squall: Grrrrr.one minute Cid.
Seifer: Ok, you're Squall.
Squall: Ok Seifer.
A plant grabes Squall.
Squall: What? They're eating plants here?
Seifer: It looks as if it has a big appetite.
Squall: Don't look. DO SOMETHING.
Seifer: Ok. I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what.
Squall: No I don't know what.
Seifer: A rope whatever they call them.
Squall: I got it.
Seifer: Anyway I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what and pull you out of it's arms.leaves.vines?
Squall: Ok. Just hurry up!
Seifer starts swing towards Squall.
Seifer: Ready.
Seifer sticks out his hand to grab Squall.
Squall: What are you going to.NOT BY THE HAIR.
Seifer hands go right through Squall's hair and Seifer passes Squall.
Seifer: ?????????
Squall: My head.come on try again and NOT by the hair.
Seifer starts swing again.
Seifer: Here I come.
Seifer grabs Squall by the jacket and pulls him out of the plants grip.
Squall: Great. Oh no.
Seifer: What?
Squall: I think I'm falling.
Squall falls out of his jacket and Seifer keeps on swing.
Seifer: Come back up here!
Squall: Where are you taking my jacket?
Seifer throughs the jacket on Squall's head.
Seifer: Put it on and I'll swing down to get you.
Squall puts the jacket on.
Squall: Ok, I'm ready.
Seifer grabs Squall by the bealt.
Squall: Owwwww.my tummy.
Seifer: So far so good.
Seifer closes his eyes.
Seifer: Waaaaaahooooooooooo.
Squall: Oh my god. Seifer open you're eyes. QUICK!
Seifer: Why?
Squall: You're going into a tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRASH.
Squall: Five ducks.sixs little ducks.
Seifer: Do you relize I'm sitting on you're butt?
Squall: Seven ducks.
Seifer: I don't think so.better get off before he relizes.
Seifer gets off Squall.
Squall: Can you hear that bird?
Seifer slaps Squall.
Seifer: Wake up!
Squall: What was that for?
Seifer: Let's continue swaying.
Squall and Seifer start swaying.
Squall: Thank god this time I'm next to you and you aren't holding me by the belt.
Seifer: Whatever.
Squall: Umm.Seifer do you want the number one bad news first or the number two bad news first?
Seifer: Hmmm.the first one.
Squall: The plant is following us.
Seifer: Ok, and number two?
Squall: That monkey is following us and he has a bunch of friends with him.
Seifer: WHAT?????????
Monkey: YEHAAAAAAA.
Squall: AAAAAAAAAA.RUNNNNNNN.
Seifer: You mean swing.
Squall: Whatever.
*
Selphie: Go behind the tree!
They run behind the tree.
Quistis: I think it lost us.
Irvine: Was it after us?
Raijin: I think so.
Fujin: CRAP.
Suddenly the ground starts moving.
Quistis: What the.?
Selphie and Zell fall down.
Selphie: Zell, could you do two things for me?
Zell: Sure.
Selphie: Number one: get that ketchup off your butt.
Zell: Ok, and number two?
Selphie: GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!
Zell jumps up.
Zell: Roger.
Selphie gets up.
Rinoa: What was that?
Zell looks behind the tree.
Zell: SShhhhh.
Irvine: What?
Irvine looks behind the tree.
Rinoa: Well?
Irvine goes green.
Selphie: Irvine is turning into an alian.
Quistis: I'll tell you what it is.
Quistis looks behind the tree.
Rinoa: Will someone tell me what it is?
Quistis: The movement was because the ant sat down.
Raijin: I can't belive it followed us!
Selphie: Yeah.
Irvine: Mama.
Zell: .
Fujin: SILENCE.
Irvine: I want my mummy.
Selphie: Irvine.
Rinoa: What would make you feel more at home, Irvine?
Irvine: Thank you Rinoa.
Rinoa: I just want you to shut up.
Irvine: Whatever. Well, Quistis could be my mum.
Quistis: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Irvine: Rinoa could be my sister.
Rinoa: I'm so glad I'm not.
Irvine: Rinoa, why are you torchering me?
Rinoa: It's a hobby.
Zell: Ok, I know what my next hobby should be.
Selphie: Next? What is your first hobby?
Zell: Eating hotdogs of course.
*
Squall: AAAAAAAA.
Seifer: What?
Squall: A monkey grabed onto my butt.
Seifer: AAAAAAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAA. Hehehe.
A monkey grabs onto Seifer's butt.
Seifer: Crap!
Squall: If you did crap that monkey would go away for sure.
Seifer: I'll take out my gunblade and get the monkey off your butt.
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Seifer: Why not?
Squall: What if you take off my butt as well as the monkey?
Seifer: It won't hurt anyone.
Squall: It will hurt ME.
Seifer: Come on Squall. Be a man.
Squall: No, I'll get the monkey off your butt with the gunblade.
Seifer: No fear!
*
Zell: I chose my hobby because.
Selphie: Zell, we have a huge ant behind us and you are talking about your hobbies.
Zell: The ant is being very polite and it is waiting for me to tell you about my habbies.
Quistis: Hobbies.
Zell: What?
Quistis: It's hobbies. You said habbies.
Irvine: I think Zell talking about his hobbies is interesting.
Everyone: What?
Irvine: Why not? We have nothing better to listen to.
Zell: Thanks Irvine.
The ground starts moving again.
Irvine: Again?
Zell: Look! A bush!
Quistis: So?
Irvine: Maybe he wants to go on the loo.
Zell: No! Look at me.
Selphie: That is what we have been doing all the time.
Zell runs over to the bush and starts rubbing his butt on the bush.
Rinoa: What is so cool about this?
Zell stops rubbing his butt and runs up to the others.
Zell: Look!
Zell sticks out his butt at them.
Rinoa: Are we supposed to kick his butt?
Raijin: Hope so.
Zell: Any ketchup?
Everyone: Oh!.No.
*
Seifer: Squall you're going into a wall.
Squall: How do you know it's a wall?
Seifer: Guessing.
SPLAT.
Squall: I think it's a wall.
Seifer: Did any of your teeth come out?
Squall: No.
Seifer: Let's sit on this tree.
Squall: And do what?
Seifer: Take out your gunblade and kill the monkeys.
Squall: Kill them? But they are cute.
Seifer: GRRRRRRRR.Well, hit them!
Squall: Ok.
Squall and Seifer take out their gunblades.
Squall: Ummmmm.where are the monkeys?
Seifer: I think we lost them.
Squall: WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO.
*
Zell: No ketchup on my butt lalala.
Selphie: Hehe.
Rinoa: Irvine, go and look for the others.
Irvine: Why me?
Raijin: Because if we lose you it won't matter.
Fuijn: FUNNY.
Selphie: Raijin, if that was the reason we chose Irvine then we should send Zell with him.
Irvine: So what is the reason?
Rinoa: You are so tall that we can't lose you.
Zell: Irvine will you go?
Irvine: Ok.
Irvine leaves.
Selphie: Thank god I thought he would never leave.
Quistis: Isn't he your boyfriend?
Selphie: Yeah, so?
*
Irvine: I think they wanted me to leave. I'm hungry.
Irvine sits under a tree.
Irvine: Hey, there might be food on the tree.
Irvine gets up.
Irvine: I don't want to climb the tree.hmmmm.
*
Seifer: Let's get down from the tree and look for the others.
Squall: No way.
Seifer: Why not?
Squall: What if there is a plant that wants to eat me?
Seifer: So what? Are we gonna stay up here?
Squall: Yup.
Seifer: What is that?
Squall: What?.Hey! Who is moving the tree?
Seifer: I think I'm falling.
Seifer and Squall fall off the tree.
Seifer: Ummm.Do you want the good news of the bad news?
Squall: The good news.
Seifer: We found one of the guys.
Squall: Great and the bad news?
Seifer: It's cow-shit.
Irvine: I thought it was cow-crap.
Seifer gets up.
Squall: I see both of you but.umm.why are you upside down.
Seifer: You dork! You are upside down.
Squall: I am? It feels normal.
Irvine: Come on! I have to take you to the others.
Seifer: Where are they?
Irvine: Come!
Irvine takes them to the others.
Squall: RINOA!
Rinoa: Shut up!
Squall: Why?
Selphie: The ant is back.
Irvine: Shit!
Seifer: What ant? Are you guys losing it?
Squall: Why would you be afraid of an ant?
Quistis: Do you want to go out and look at it?
Seifer: I will.
Seifer walks out, walks back behind the tree and with a smile on his face, says very casualy.
Seifer: Shit.
Squall: Well?
Seifer: ...
Squall: Ok. I'll look.
Squall looks at the ant.
Squall: It's ugly.
Raijin: Whatever.
Squall: Don't say that only I am allowed to say that word.
Raijin: Whatever.
Squall: I'm gonna kill you.
Raijin: Do you want a piece of my staff?
Squall: Do you want a piece of my gunblade?
Raijin sees the gunblade.
Raijin: Can we talk about it?
Seifer: Wait! I got it.
Quistis: Got what?
Seifer: We want to get the ant away, right?
Fujin: RIGHT.
Seifer: So someone will go out and distract it.
Rinoa: Not me.
Irvine: Me neither.
Fujin: NO.
Seifer: Wait!
Quistis: How do we decide?
Seifer: We play a game.
Everyone: What game?
Seifer: The author will decide.
Author: What? Me? Seifer, you thought of it.
Seifer: Yeah but you are the author.
Author: And you are my inspiration.
Seifer: Thank you.
Irvine: What am I? Author: You are the dork that cries all the time.
Irvine: That isn't true.waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Quistis: The author is right.
Author: Say my proper name.
Quistis: Okay.what is it?
Author: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!
Zell: I wanna use the loo.
Water-zone-8: Be careful I can throw you out of the fanfiction.
Zell: Yes please!
Water-zone-8: You want to go?
Zell: YES!
Water-zone-8: Then I'll keep you in it.
Zell: Grrrrrrrr.
Water-zone-8: Well Seifer? The game?
Seifer: Oh, yeah! Well.I have no inspiration.
Water-zone-8: .I know what lies beneath the snowfields.
Irvine: What?
Water-zone-8: You'll find out!
Squall: Whatever.
Selphie: Aren't we in a jungle?
Water-zone-8: Yeah.
Selphie: Then why are you talking about snowfields?
Water-zone-8: I won't tell you.
Zell: Why not?
Water-zone-8: You want to know what lies beneath the snowfields?
Everyone: Yes.
Water-zone-8: I can't tell you but I can take you there.
Seifer: Why would we wanna go there?
Water-zone-8: Even if you didn't want to go you will end up going there.
Seifer: Then take us there.
Water-zone-8: First you have to do me a favor.
Seifer: What?
Water-zone-8: Will you guys be in my next fanfiction?
Everyone: NO!
Water-zone-8: Please.
Everyone: NO!
Water-zone-8 gives Selphie a chocobo, gives Irvine a playboy, gives Rinoa petpals 6, gives Squall wepons monthly, gives Fujin a football shoe (to kick Raijin), gives Raijin a shield (to save him from Fujin), gives Quistis the new test, gets Seifer and Zell out of the dresses and into their normal clothes, gives Seifer a gunblade polishing set and gives Zell a hotdog.
Everyone: I'll be in your next fanfiction.
Water-zone-8: Good. Be in my computer tomorrow.
Everone: So soon?
Water-zone-8: Yeah.
Seifer: Wait! We could decide if we wanted to come?
Everyone: Yeah!
Seifer: I don't want to be in this fanfiction! Why did I go into her computer?
Rinoa: Because you didn't want to be left out, remember.
Seifer: Oh.yeah. I'm stupid!
Squall: We know.
Zell: I'm cold!
Seifer and Squall: What?
Zell: We are in SNOW!!!
Squall: Oh yeah.
Selphie: I'm freezing!
Quistis: It's not our fult that YOU wear a mini dress.
Selphie: Maybe I should stop wearing mini dresses.
Irvine: No!
Quistis: Let's talk.
Water-zone-8: Noooooo! You can't! See that house?
Everyone: Yeah.
Water-zone-8: What you're looking for is in there!
Everyone: How do you know?
Water-zone-8: This is my fanfiction!!!!!
Everyone: Oh.yeah.
They all run into the little hut.
Zell: It's got heating!
Selphie: Thank god!
Squall: Wrong! It's air-conditioning.
Raijin: Then why is it hot, ya know?
Squall: Because it's cold out there so it seems hot in here, silly :p
Quistis: Shut up. I'm supposed to say that.
Squall: Why?
Quistis: Because I think logicaly.
Squall: And what do I think like?
Quistis: You think like a whatever man.
Squall: What is your problem?
Fujin: LOOK!
Everyone: At what?
Fujin: TABLE!
Zell: There is a table in here?
They all see the table. (Which was in front of them all the time)
Raijin: There it is, ya know!
Irvine: What is in the chest?
Selphie: Hey! I think it's what headmaster Cid was looking for!!
Cid walks out of a door.
Cid: THAT'S ITTTTTTT!!!!!!!
Everyone looks at him as if he's gone bananas.
Rinoa: What?
Seifer: What is in it?
Squall: Everyone SHUT UP!!!!!
Everyone shuts up.
Squall: Cid, how did you get here?
Cid: I walked through that door.
Cid points at the door.
Fujin: SILLY ANSWER.
Raijin: Correct, ya know.
Squall: Whatever.
Squall turns around to Cid.
Squall: I know you came through the door.
Cid: You do?
Squall: Ya, I saw you. But how did you get here?
Cid: Simple. If you go through that door you will find your self at Balamb Garden.
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????????
Squall: ( I can't belive we did soo much to find out that we could have just gone through a door)
Rinoa: ( Damn it! Woohoo! I didn't die in this fanfiction!!)
Irvine: ( God!! All this way without seeing a girl? When I gat back to Balamb I'll have to.)
Cid: .
Irvine: CRAP!
Everyone: What?
Irvine: Water-zone-8!
Water-zone-8: Yeah?
Irvine: How many times do I have to tell you NOT to let people read my mind?
Water-zone-8: .
Irvine: I'm thinking things that kids shouldn't be reading!!
Selphie: IRVINE! What are you think?
Irvine: Umm.Of you.
( Tch, Tch. Such lies!!)
Selphie: ( I wonder what he is thinking of.)
Cid: Why is everyone silent?
Everyone: We are thinking of ways to kill you.
Cid: Hehe, calm down people.
Zell: You better have a good reason..
Cid: What about all that peace, love and frenship?
Squall: Peace? We have war like all the time.
Seifer: Love? Ewwww.
Raijin: Frenship? What frenship, ya know?
Fujin: RIGHT.
Cid: Umm. If you feel that way we can change it to: War, hate and alone.
Everyone: It's nice.
Cid: Now come with me.
They go through the door and find themselves on the 3rd floor in Balamb.
Selphie: Wtf are we doing here?
Quistis: Selphie! Don't swear.
Selphie: Why not?
Quistis: Because.
After two hours of Quistis's talk on "Why not to swear" .
Quistis: Will all of you stop trying to press the triangle?
Everyone: NEVER.
Irvine turns arount to Selphie.
Irvine: This is all your fault.
Selphie: Mine? Why?
Irvine: Why? *in a Selphie voice* Why not?
Selphie: So?
Seifer: My ears are hurting.
Fujin: MINE TOO.
Zell: Someone shut her up.
Quistis: Why? I give beautiful talks.
Everyone: YEAH RIGHT.
Quistis: You will pay for that!
After four hours.
Quistis: We shouldn't swear because yada yada yada blah blah blah.
Zell: Does she ever shut up?
Irvine: If I have any more of this I'm gonna comit suside.
Seifer: This is the fist time I ever wanted Quistis to talk more.
Quistis: Thank you Seifer.
Cid: I don't think I'm ever gonna explan what happened.
Raijin: Cid why did you ever make her a teacher, ya know?
Cid: She looked as if she was good at it.
Selphie: She is too good at it.
Squall: And she gives you a LOT of homework.
Cid: That is the spirit!
Everyone stares at him.
Cid: What?
Squall: I just said that she gives you a LOT of homework.
Raijin: Ya, what is soo great about that, ya know?
Cid: Nothing. I was just thinking.
Squall: Yup, I know what it's like.
Seifer: Whatever.
Squall: Hey! My word, my word, my word.
Quistis shuts up ( thank god).
Rinoa: Quistis, why did you shut up?
Quistis: Noone was listening to me.
Squall: Whatever.
Cid: May I.
Quistis: Cid.
Cid: Yes?
Quistis: You where gonna tell us something?
Cid: YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Everyone: What?
Cid: Finally someone to listen to me.
Quistis: ^_^
Cid: Quistis, I give you SeeD level A.
( Water-zone-8: I'd like to have a headmaster like that!!)
Everyone: What????? Level A??????
Zell: SAY WHAT??????
Fujin: GRRRR.
Raijin: That ain't fear, ya know!!
Seifer: I want level A too.
Irvine: Seifer, who doesn't want level A?
Selphie: I'm NOT happy!!!
( Water-zone-8: That's weird.)
Rinoa: Huh? Why did she get level A?
Quistis: Shut up!!!!!
Everyone shuts up (again).
Quistis: I got A because I love me, you love me, he loves me, we love me, you love me and they love me. WE ALL LOVE MEEEEE.
Cid: Can we all forget the level A thing?
Everyone: Whatever.
THE END
Cid: No, no, no.
Everyone: Why not?
Cid: I have to explan what happened.
Zell: Oh yeah.
Seifer: Just make it quick.
Zell: Yeah, I need to go to the cafeteria.
Edea walks in.
Edea: Cid, did you find it?
Rinoa: Find what?
Cid: Yes honney.
Seifer: FIND WHAT?????
Edea: I'm so happy.
Cid: I just have to tell the boys what happened.
Quistis: Boys?
Cid: I meant you as well.
Selphie: You think we are boys?
Irvine: You think my girl friend is a boy?
Seifer: * Wispering* Yes.
Cid: Boy and girls, is that better?
Everyone: Yes.
Cid: First, I sent you on this mission because I had lost what I am holding in this chest.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Ok.
Zell: Wait.
Cid: What?
Zell: What about the man in black cape and the hooded man?
Cid: Ahh, yes.
Seifer: How do you know about the man in black cape and the hooded man?
Cid: I made them.
Everyone: What?
Cid: It was Xu and Nida.
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????
Cid: They wanted to write a book.
Seifer: So?
Cid: So I told them to follow you guys and make your adventure a book.
Selphie: Who was who?
Cid: Xu was the hooded man.
Fujin: RAGE.
Rinoa: Grrrrr.
Seifer: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!!
Water-zone-8: Don't shout Seifer.
Seifer: Did you know all about this?
Water-zone-8: Well, umm...yeah.
Water-zone-8 disapers leaving a red faced Seifer holding a gunblade.
Cid: Anyway, the book is being written right now.
Quistis: Shit.
Selphie: Quistis, don't you remember your four hour talk about NOT swearing?
Quistis: Oops.
Selphie: Hehe.
Quistis: Grrrr.
Selphie and Quistis start fighting.
Cid: And the book will be published in two days.
Selphie and Quistis stop fighting.
Quistis and Selphie: What?
Raijin: What if we don't want the book to be published, ya know?
Cid: You have no choice.
Zell: .
Cid: And Quistis will read it in the classrooms.
Quistis: What??????
Cid: It will be a lesson and the students won't sleep.
Everyone: How come?
Cid: It's so funny.
Irvine: Grrrr.
Cid: I'll give you all a free book. I'm going to buy one myself you know.
Seifer: Do we get paid?
Cid: Of course not.
Seifer: WHY NOT?
Cid: You where looking for something. Only Nida and Xu will get paid and that way Garden will also keep it's money.
Squall: Crap!
Zell: Can't you give me a higher SeeD level?
Cid: Umm.what level are you?
Zell: Level 1.
Cid: What????? No SeeD is that level!!!!!!
Zell: Well you've just meet one that IS level 1.
Cid: Ok. I'll make you level 3.
Zell: ?
Cid: What?
Zell: ? Only?
Cid: It's better than what you where.
Zell: Whatever.
Squall: What is in the chest?
Seifer: Oh yeah.
Rinoa: It should be something VERY important.
Cid: Why should it be important?
Irvine: Well you sent us to the other side of the world.
Selphie: Which apparently is right on the other side of that door.
Cid: Heh.
Raijin: Will you tell us, ya know?
Cid: Does it matter if I don't?
Everyone: Yes.
Cid: Well, Edea was making a spell and it got stolen by a shadow that she made.
Quistis: She made a shadow?
Cid: It was a spell. I wanted a servant and she thought a shadow would be fun.
Everyone: Oh.
Cid: And the spell she had been working on for ages, she finished it and it got stolen so we sent you after it. ?
Squall: Okay.
Cid: Okay?
Seifer: Not so fast.
Cid: What?
Seifer: What was the spell?
Cid: I'll tell you but don't get mad.
Seifer raises an eyebrow.
Cid: Heh, It was a spell to make me thiner. ?
Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTT???????????
Raijin takes out his staff, Seifer and Squall take out there gunblades, Irvine takes out his gun, Quistis gets her wip out, Fujin gets her Zan and Selphie and Rinoa ( who have taken out there wepons) get ready to attack.
Cid: Now people I don't think you are going to attack me.
Squall: You think?
Seifer: We are gonna cut you into little picses.
Cid: Quistis protect me!!!!!
Quistis: Why should I?
Cid: If you don't you can forget about the level A.
Quistis: Whatever, you wouldn't be alive to give it to me.
Cid: Oh no ?.
So they chased around Gareden for seven days and eight nights.
Whilst running.
Seifer: I think I'm getting a little tired.
Quistis: How come?
Seifer: Come on! Holding a gunblade for seven days and eight nights? You wouldn't last half a day.
Quistis: I get the picture.
Selphie: This dress is hard to run in! ?
Cid: GIVE UP *gasp* *gasp*.
Everyone: Never!!
Cid: I don't need Edea's spell anymore. I've lost like 23 kilos.
Water-zone-8: Hehe, I think I killed all of you!
Fujin: YEAH.
Raijin: I never thought Cid could run for sooooo long, ya know.
Edea is watching them.
Edea: GO CID!! I'm so proud of you!
Seifer: Hey! We've lasted this long maybe I should enter the marathon! I could win!
Squall: I'd go up against you and I'd win.
Seifer: You wish!!!!
Squall: You wish you could win!!!! You wouldn't last three minutes.
Seifer: I'd win.
Squall: I would!!
Seifer and Squall: ME!
