***Before you start reading the story I want to warn you that there are spoilers from the Berrisford Agenda episode in this.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters of Dark Angel

Author's Note: I also have a site called inevitable about DA the address is http://inevitabl3.cjb.net and I also made a clique for DA… so if you love Dark Angel as much as I do then please join! The address is http://clix.to/inevitabl3

Summary: It starts off around the end of Berrisford Agenda.

N e ways on with the story…

Chapter 1

Alec was by her bedside, his blue eyes glazed with tears. He was sorry, he was so sorry that he had done this to her. He had put her into that bed; he had put his beloved Rachel into this situation, in this coma. He took the locket out of his pocket, looked at it, remembering what it looked like around her neck. He opened up Rachel's pale hand and placed her locket that he had kept for the past two years. Closing her hand around the locket, he let the tears fall. He buried his head onto her shoulder, whispering the 'apologies' he so longed to say. 'Rachel I'm so sorry, I didn't know how much I loved you then... I'm so sorry,' Alec whispered through tears.

Rachel's father had every right to hate him, every right to point that gun at his chest. Robert had every right to take his life. But yet he hesitated, giving Max who had come to save Alec's ass, time to knock him unconscious. Alec and Max just left there; leaving Mr. Berrisford sprawled on the floor, Alec had to see Rachel, he had to know that it wasn't too late. He had to know that it wasn't too late to say he was sorry. And so he sat there in the quiet hospital room where, the bomb that he had placed under the car had left Rachel in a coma for the past two years. This was the price they all paid for Berrisford getting too much info. on Manticore. He tried so desperately to save them, telling them to get out of the country, to save themselves. Still, it would have been too late for Robert if Rachel hadn't pulled her father out of the car before it exploded. He could still hear his voice echoing in his mind… "Rachel! Rachel!"

If he could turn back time, he would. He wouldn't have helped them put that bomb under the car. He would have found some way of stopping Manticore. Now that he thought about it, no matter how much torture Manticore gave him, there wouldn't be any torture that matched the pain he felt right now. The pain that consumed his heart, only got worse every time he closed his eyes. He'd see Rachel's wavy brown hair framing the beautiful smile she used to sport when he was Simon. It hurt, no one would ever be blessed by her smile. If Rachel didn't wake up, he would never be rid of the pain he so willingly tried to forget. All he could do now was wish that Rachel was going to be okay, that she was going to wake up.

As he got up go, he placed a soft kiss upon her lips, saying his last goodbye. Wiping the tears from his eyes he walked toward the door. He glanced back with wishful thinking, hoping that she would awake. But she still laid on the bed as she had when he first came in. Sighing Alec took off to the Crash, to drown his pain with alcohol.

***

Alec walked into the Crash, he decided to sit at the bar as he had before. He didn't want to see his friends; they'd only try to get him talk about it, like Max had. Talking wasn't his style; he had never solved a problem with talking before. But maybe Max was right, he wouldn't tell anyone about his problems until he was in some real trouble, then Max would have to save his ass again. Oh well, Alec was always okay, or at least he was going to be. Once again he ordered another shot, downing the drink in mere seconds and then ordering another. Yet for all his attempts to forget about Rachel, alcohol being one of them, his mind would start to drift.

He could still remember how he trembled at her touch when she had said she loved him. No one had ever cared about him in any way but a soldier, no one. Then came Rachel who showed him different views of life, she showed him how to have fun, to care and love someone. Rachel was the only person he had every truly loved. Still as he remembered he was so confused, confused about Manticore, confused about the life Rachel had shown him. That was why a 'yes sir' responded every thing he was told to execute in the mission.

The music that played from the phone he had so hastily discarded, stirred up the emotions he kept hidden. The emotions he thought he had forgotten when Rachel hit the ground from the explosion, when he had been tied up in the metal chair and, laser beams shooting in his eyes in attempt to brainwash him. But he had to face the music; he would never forget those feelings, for they were the first real emotions he had ever felt.

He drank another, and paid the bartender. He didn't want to stay there, he wanted to be 'okay' at home.

TBC…

Sorry it was so short, I have to have to study for midterms… arg!