I don't know whether or not this is classed as an MST, but anyway- It features a character of my own invention, Meela Masribani, who basically tells people where to go, and to hell with the consequences. Really, this is what I would have said had I been in these particular situations, but since I can't be because the Harry Potter world is merely a figment of someone's imagination, this is my way of expressing my planned actions. All things Harry Potter-related belong to J.K. Rowling, but Meela is my own invention, so please don't steal her. Normal rules apply to character thieves- go Cheshire Cat!! * throws confetti around *
Oh, and another thing: I know Griffindor and Slytherin don't usually have Defence Against the Dark Arts together, but they do in this story. Okay? Good. ^_^
Well anyway, let's get on with the ass-whuppin', shall we? ^_~
~Tellin' It Like It Is~
by Belladonna Sinistra
So this is Hogwarts. I don't think I'm making a good impression, though- my first day, and I'm late. I'm going to strangle that damned Poltergeist- Peeves is a good name for him. But anyway, I'm here now. I push the door open, but even though my timetable says I have Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Lupin, Professor Lupin isn't there. Instead, it's the man whom they said would be my Head of House, Professor Snape. Must be filling in. He looks like a slimy git to me, but since I'm going to be stuck with him for the next four years, I probably should be nice to him.
'Yes?'
'Sorry I'm late, sir, I ran into that damned Poltergeist. I'm a new student, I just started today.'
'I see. And what was your name?'
'Meela Masribani, sir.' That blond kid's looking at me again. He didn't take his eyes off me once during dinner last night. Looks like another slimeball to me, but again, four years…I give him a sweet smile, then turn my attention back to Snape, who is checking my name off the register.
'Welcome to Hogwarts, Miss Masribani. Please, take a seat.'
'Thank you, sir.' The blond kid's beckoning me over to the spare seat beside him, so I take it. What's his name again? Draco, that's it.
Perhaps I should be listening to Snape, Defence Against the Dark Arts is not really my strong point.
'Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics…'
Suddenly, the door bursts open, and a boy runs in.
'Sorry I'm late, Professor Lupin, I…' He stops, obviously surprised.
'The lesson began ten minutes ago, Potter, so I think we'll make it ten points from Griffindor. Sit down.'
'Where's Professor Lupin?'
'He says he is feeling too ill to teach today. I believe I told you to sit down?'
The boy doesn't move. 'What's wrong with him?' Don't push it, kid…
'Nothing life-threatening,' Bet you wish it was, though. I'm really starting to dislike this guy. 'Five more points from Griffindor, and if I have to ask you to sit down again, it will be fifty.' The boy sits, and I see Draco smirk out of the corner of my eye, so I tap his ankle with my foot, shaking my head.
'As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far-'
The bushy-haired girl whom Potter is sitting next to pipes up: 'Please sir, we've done Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas and Grindylows, and we're just about to start-'
'Be quiet. I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization.'
I mutter under my breath: 'It's his class, it probably seems organised to him.' Fortunately, Draco doesn't hear, as he's too busy staring raptly at Snape.
'He's the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had.' says another boy, rather bravely considering Snape's expression, I think. There is a murmur of agreement from the Griffindor side of the class, and a few snickers from the Slytherins, which are ignored by Snape .
'You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly overtaxing you- I would expect first years to be able to deal with Red Caps and Grindylows. Today we shall discuss-' He flicks through the textbook, to the very last chapter. '-werewolves.' He says with an evil smirk. Great. The first topic and I've already done it. Yawn.
'Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?' The bushy-haired girl's hand is first into the air. Somehow I get the impression that this is a regular occurrence…For some reason, however, Snape appears to be ignoring her.
'Anyone? Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between-'
'We told you, we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on-'
'Silence! Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third year class who couldn't even recognise a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are…'
'Please sir, the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf-'
'That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Five more points from Griffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.' How rude…the bushy-haired girl puts her hand down, turns very red, and stares at the floor with her eyes full of tears. What a jerk! Apparently one of her friends has had enough, too…
'You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?' Eeep…
'Detention, Weasley, and if I ever hear you criticise the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed.' I'll bet…Right, that's it. This has gone far enough. I stand up.
'Yes, Miss Masribani?'
'I have a number of points I would like to make, Professor. Firstly, when you are relieving another teacher, you are not supposed to deviate from their lesson plan. It is there for a reason. Secondly, Miss Granger was about to give you a correct answer to a question which you asked, without specifying a target for said question, I might add, and while she may indeed be a know-it-all, it is not your place to tell her so. And finally, threatening a student in any way does constitute assault, which, as I'm sure you know, is a very serious offence. Now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I feel I must speak to Professor Dumbledore about the appalling display I've seen here. Good day.'
'I will not be spoken to in that manner! One hundred points from whichever house you're in!'
I smile very sweetly just as I reach the door. 'Slytherin, sir?'
The look on his face is priceless. Ah, why is there never a camera around when you need one…?
