Title: AS I AM
Synopsis: Spike goes drinking at a bar and meets a former 'mate'. A post-"As You Were" episode fanfic.
Rating: PG
Date Written: Thursday, 28 February, 2002
Author: The Resident Vampyr © 2001-2002.
Note: As I Am is the 14th of a series of post-episode fanfictions based on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer season 6 episodes. I will try to write a short, mostly Spike/Buffy story every week for the entire season. Again, these are pure speculations. I don't read spoilers no early bird review. Let me know what you think.
Credits: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon and the powers that be.
Music/Lyrics: Don't you forget about me performed by Billy Idol.
Characters: Spike Clement Halfrek


"I do want you. Being with you makes things simplier. " - Buffy to Spike

"Hey Spike," greeted Clement, "Haven't seen you at the back room lately, what's up?"

Clement climbed onto a chair next to his vampire buddy. It was the same watering hole Spike and Buffy went to a few months back. Spike was slowly finishing a bottle of whiskey, pouring out the remaining quarter in his glass. He figured he wanted to stay sober for his next stop-- The Bronze, then drown himself in more booze, have fun, and maybe bumped into Buffy.

"You mean, how's The Doctor," replied Spike, feeling the effect of the whiskey. "Some stupid bastard blew up my basement, now I'm screwed!"

"Including the eggs?" asked Clement. He chuckled when Spike nodded, "Man, you're really screwed!"

"It's not funny," Spike glanced at him irritably.

"Don't worry, your slayer 'friend' will help you out against--" Clement quoted "slayer friend" with his fingers.

Spike stopped him and said apathetically, "Not bleeding likely. No more dally for Spikey."

Clement never understood Spike's relationship with the Slayer therefore he didn't say anything. He tapped the vampire's shoulder and wished him luck.

"How could she?" Spike continued to feel sorry for himself. He stared blankly at the glass of whiskey that was in front of him, searching for his reflection.

Nothing.

It was as if time flew for everybody except him. Spike was now at The Bronze, sitting at the bar, drinking bourbon. People laughing next to him, others playing billiards, and some dancing at a familiar music played in the background.

Tell me your trouble and doubts,
Given me everything inside and out
Love strange, so really not dark
Think of the tender things that we will be working on
Slow change may pull us apart
I'll get us back together at heart

Don't you forget about me...

Billy Idol. The punk rock, English bloke. Spike chuckled as he reminisced.

Will you stand above me?
Look my way and never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling, down...
Will you recognize me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling, down...

As you walk on by, will you look my way...
Will you walk on by, will you walk away...
As you walk on by, will you call my name...

Billy Idol, a.k.a. William Broad.

William...

Everything stood still for Spike. William...the name Buffy called him when she severed their relationship.

William...

***


"William," she repeated herself.

Buried in his own thoughts, Spike failed to notice the person beside him. He looked sideways to see who was calling him.

"It's you."

"Glad you remembered," said Halfrek, relieved that she wouldn't have to introduce herself again. "Wish you could remember more."

"Very unlikely," he rolled his eyes.

Halfrek can sense the trouble that was in Spike. She's a vengeance demon. It was her duty to know so.

"So, is there something you want to tell me? Any frustrations, heartaches, what have you's, that needed resolution?"

Spike looked at her amazed. "You are unbelievable. I'm a demon. You're a demon. Yet, you're hoping that I'll say something? You can't trick me."

"Well, is there anything?" she insisted.

'Hell yes, there is something!' Spike thought. 'I want her back; more than anything in this bleeding world! I want her to suffer like I do. Make that thick skull of hers realized that I am the one for her! That bitch!'

"You have to say it, William."

There was a momentary pause.

"I love her," Spike said quietly, staring solely at his drink.

Spike wanted Buffy back. He wanted her back not because of some curse, or love spell, but because she wanted to. When that time comes, Spike mused, it will be for real. Buffy will love him, 'As I am...'

Spike covered his eyes, not letting the other see what he was feeling.

But it was too late, Halfrek knew exactly what he wanted. He only had to wish it to happen. But he didn't. Instead he drank his bourbon.

"You are such a fool for love, William."

"Okay," Halfrek realized she wasn't getting any vengeance wish from Spike, "Tell me, would you want to be my date at Anyanka's wedding?"

Spike didn't answer her, instead he chuckled. His time here at The Bronze was done. He needed to go back to the crypt and drown himself with more self-pity and more thoughts about Buffy.


***




next post-episode#15

Also by The Resident Vampyr™ The Vampyr Pentateuch & Other Stories™. A compilation of Season 5 BtVS post-episode fanfictions. Visit http://www.vampyrslayer.cjb.net for more. Vampire Seasons™ - a compilation of season 6 BtVS post-episode fanfictions @ http://vampireseasons.cjb.net. Mirrored at http://www.fanfiction.net