Title: Harry Potter and the Search for
the Meaning of Life at Hogwarts, or The Hogwarts School Band
Chapter:
Twelve: Stars
Rating: M for mature
content, and adult conversations
Original Character:
Alastor Daker
Reason for Edit: Noticed that the
formatting had been screwed up, so decided to re-submit with correct
editing. Plus I wanted to change a few of the things, as it was bit
odd in places.
Notes: Please note that this was
written waaay before 'Order of the Phoenix' so, the OWL grades and
subjects for NEWTs don't tally with the canon. Best read this as an
alternative 'book 7'. Also, check out my prequel 'The Gospel,
according to Gilderoy Lockhart or The Hogwarts Gazette'.
Twelve: Stars
Professor Annie Sinistra checked her Astronomy equipment. She had, had some reports from the seventh year Astronomy group about faulty telescopes. In the last few years fewer people had really become interested in the subject. She sighed as she cleaned the lenses of her precious equipment. People could become obsessed with turning objects into things, making things fly, defeating dark creatures and creating weird and wonderful Potions, but to her there was nothing like the thrill you got watching a shooting star fly across the night sky.
"Don't you get lonely?" A voice from a dark corner of the tower asked.
"Not really." Sinistra replied, un-nerved by the voice. "To me, there's something magical… exhilarating with being able to just sit and watch the stars." She looked out at the speckled night sky. "Romantic and mysterious." She smiled.
"Just like you."
Sinistra laughed. "You say that and yet you're always cautious not to be seen with me."
The voice stepped out of the shadows. "It's too dangerous."
Sinistra turned to the voice. "It's only dangerous when there's a full moon." She embraced him, "why can't we tell people, Remus?"
He pulled away from the hug, "Annie we can't marry. The ministry are very strict about it."
"I know." She looked at him for a moment, "have you actually told anyone?"
"Er…."
"Remus?"
"No. I'm sorry, Annie. I just… Well, it's just that I've never had a stable relationship before. Usually they walk out when they find out I'm a werewolf… Or they run off with my friends."
Sinistra kissed him gently, "I assure you, I am not going to do that. You could tell Severus and Alastor first, little chance of them wanting me."
"Severus isn't exactly my friend."
"You're not going to let that go, are you?"
"I just didn't appreciate being outted like that."
"Could have been worse."
"Really?"
"If someone outted Severus…"
"Annie, that isn't on the same level. If someone outted him as gay he could immediately deny it, and probably prove otherwise." Remus stepped away. "Whereas, I can't deny it… all… all the blasted evidence was there!"
"Remus, he did it because he was pissed off, scared…. And worried."
"Worried? Worried about me maybe biting a kid? Yeah right."
"No, he was worried… he was worried about what you might have said… about him."
Remus looked at her; "you seem to know a bit about this."
"You're not the only one who likes to sit up here in the dark."
"What? You and Severus! But he's…"
Sinistra laughed, "not like that. After you left I came up here to do some work, he was sitting near the window smoking. He felt really bad."
"I bet he did."
"No, Remus, really. He said he felt bad because he was suddenly struck by the similarity between yours and his situation. You're shunned from job to job and from society when they know you are a werewolf. The same would happen to Severus."
Remus sat down. "You know, I nearly outted him."
"Sorry?"
"In my first lesson. We went to the staff room, so that my third year class could meet the boggart. Severus sort of… insulted Neville Longbottom and I felt sorry for the kid. I got him to go first - he was scared of Severus. I got him to dress the boggart-Snape up as his grandmother… For some reason I kept prompting him with the handbag."
Sinistra laughed, "it's been a while since someone has mention that stereotype."
"I know, but… well, I realised a bit later on - well, after he had a go at me - that maybe I could have done some damage."
"Seems like you're even."
----
"Is it all right to go in?" Snape asked, as Madame Pomfrey emerged from Dumbledore's rooms. He had requested that if Madame Pomfrey was going to subject to him to numerous tests, he would like to be in his own rooms.
"Sure. Just don't stay too long, he's tired."
"Thanks." He entered Dumbledore's bedroom. It took his eyes a moment or two to adjust to the sudden darkness.
"Ah, Severus." Dumbledore said feebly.
"How are you feeling?" Snape asked, going over to the bed.
"Much better than I was. Sit." Dumbledore patted the bed, Snape sat next to him. "Now, is it true what Minerva was telling me?"
"Depends on what she said."
"That you and Alastor are back together?"
Snape smiled, "yes it is."
"So… I take it you have had ravenous sex?"
Snape was shocked, "what!"
"Come now, you can tell me."
"We didn't, and I'm shocked you even asked!"
Dumbledore smiled at him, "just a bit of logical thinking Severus. Whenever my wife and I had, had something of a fall out, as soon as we'd made up, we'd be indulging ourselves."
"I take it that you and your wife fell out a lot."
"Pardon?"
"You had seven children."
"Ah, no." Dumbledore laughed, "I'm afraid my wife and I enjoyed bringing up children."
"You'd have to, to have seven!"
"Severus, a new born child is a miracle of nature. If you have children of your own, you'll understand."
"There is little chance of my having kids… Scientifically impossible."
"I suppose so." Dumbledore looked seriously at him, "Severus, according to some of my sources Voldemort is gaining more support. It seems I may be incapacitated for some time, and I am sorry to have to let you go through it all alone."
"Don't worry, sir. I won't be alone, I've got Alastor and the rest the staff behind me."
"That's the attitude."
----
Harry Potter groaned. "Why do the teachers have to give me so much work!" He slumped further into his chair. "It's not like I have anything better to do!"
Ron looked up from his Quidditch magazine. No one was really talking to Harry after he had got Gryffindor expelled from both the Quidditch and House cups. No even Colin and Dennis Creevy could forgive him for that. Let's just say Harry Potter was not flavour of the month.
"Ron, you've done this essay for McGonagall? Can you give me a hand?"
"Harry, that was supposed to be handed in a week ago!" Ron replied turning to look at him.
"So? I was busy. Come on, you've got it finished, can I copy?"
"No! Look, Harry, even if I did let you copy, McGonagall would know. She's already marked them!"
"She won't know! Everyone knows that teachers are stupid when it comes to work. I bet you I could hand the same piece of work in every time for Daker, he's probably zonked up the eyeballs on some drug."
Ron turned angrily to his 'friend'. "Listen Harry, Daker even admitted that he had been using morphine, but he also said that he was clean."
Harry laughed, "and you believe him? Daker is a Slytherin and I don't believe that cock and bull story he spun about having to retire from being an auror. He was probably sacked for dabbling into the Dark Arts."
"And do you have any evidence for that?"
"Yeah! Sure."
Ron looked hard at him. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well are you going to tell me?"
"No, I want to take my evidence to Dumbledore. Then he'll sack both Daker AND Snape."
"Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe Dumbledore knows about his problem?"
"Would you tell your employer you have a drug addiction?"
"Had."
"Yeah, whatever."
"And, Harry, in case it's escaped your attention, Dumbledore is ill."
"Yeah, Snape poisoned him."
"You're unbelievable!" Ron snapped.
----
Professor Minerva McGonagall adjusted her hair before she left her office. She had not slept much since Albus had collapsed. Albus was insisting that he was just fatigued and needed rest, but everyone knew it was something much more serious than that.
Someone knocked at her door. "Come in." She replied. Hermione Granger stepped into the room. "Good morning, Ms Granger. Aren't you supposed to be in Care of Magical Creatures?"
"No, Hagrid sent us for a study period. I don't think he was feeling up to teaching today." Hermione replied.
"A lot of us aren't, Hermione. Did you want something?"
"Yes, er, I am hoping to apply to a university, but since I don't know anything about the system and no one in my family is magical born, I was wondering if you could help."
"Um, well sadly, not really. I didn't attend university, in my day it was too expensive, and at the time it was only wizards who were offered a chance to gain degrees. I have a teaching qualification from a muggle university and of course I took extra courses in Transfiguration, but I never went to a university."
"Oh." Hermione looked disappointed.
"Professors Sinistra, Snape and Daker have all attended universities. You'd be better off asking those. The only advice I can give is, go for it. You're a bright young witch, Hermione."
"Thanks."
"Might I ask what you intend to study?"
"Maybe Arthimacy."
"Speak to Professor Daker then, or maybe Professor Vector could help you."
"Thanks, professor."
"You're welcome."
Hermione turned to leave, "oh, how's Professor Dumbledore?"
"Not good I'm afraid, but we're all hoping for the best."
----
"Come in!" Snape called. Lupin opened the door to the office slightly.
"Do you mind if I speak to you?" He asked.
Snape was silent before answering, "perhaps not."
"Can I come in?"
"Of course you can! You're not a bloody vampire, you can come without asking."
Lupin stepped in and closed the door, "actually Severus, that's only in fiction."
"That makes me feel a lot safer."
"What? You've not got any vampires in Slytherin, have you?"
Snape snorted, "don't be ridiculous! Vampires hold no magical powers and you don't usually get little vampires, also the headmaster isn't quite stupid enough to let vampires roam the school."
Lupin sat down, "not going to let my fault escape are you?"
"I might be more forgiving if you and your friends hadn't play a trick on me!"
"How many times do we have to go through that? I was not in on the bloody plan!"
"That's what you say."
Lupin stood up, "you know what? Forget it. I need to talk to you, but if you are going to be like that I may as well not bother!" He went to the door.
"Remus." Lupin didn't take his hand off the door. "Wait, alright I'm sorry."
"Did you just apologise?" Lupin turned slightly puzzled.
"Yes… Remus, I know what it's like to want to talk to someone, anyone, but they don't want to listen. I've made my mistakes in life, and I'm not going to mess up other peoples."
"You mean that don't you?"
"Yes." Snape held out his hand, "friends?"
Lupin waited before taking Snape's outstretched hand. "Friends." He shook it firmly.
"Sit down." Snape indicated to the empty chair in front of him.
"Thanks." Lupin sat, before looking hard at Snape. "Did you mean what you said?"
"Um?"
"About wanting to talk to someone but not being able to find someone to listen?" Snape nodded slightly, "shit… that was that you kept pestering me and I shrugged you off."
"It's in the past." Snape replied shortly, clearly indicating that he did not want to talk about it.
Lupin nodded indicating that he understood. "Severus, what would you say if I said that I wanted the band to perform one more time?"
"I'd say, you've been talking to Hermione Granger."
Lupin grinned, "no, seriously."
"I don't know. It would feel… strange. It… it wouldn't seem right to perform without Lily or… Peter." Lupin made like he was going to say something; "Yes I know that Peter is a traitor! It would still feel strange performing without them."
"Okay, what if we performed in memory of them? Lily's dead, and well, everyone believes that Peter is."
Snape looked at him; "you're really serious about performing, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Alright… I'll talk it over with Alastor."
"Great!"
"No promises."
"Oh, and how would you feel if I told you that I'd met someone?"
"I'd feel impressed, and ask who and when."
Lupin laughed, "I don't get you."
"Pardon?"
"Well, sometimes you're the meanest bastard there is, other times you're so depressed we need to pump you full of anti-depressants and other times you're a spiteful, revengeful son-of-a-bitch."
"Quite perceptive aren't you?"
"And this is the crowning part - how long is it since we had a decent conversation? Years, no wait! Decades! And here we are, talking as though we're old friends!"
"You aren't the first one who has said that."
"Good, so who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?"
Snape laughed, "I don't know. Maybe I'm happy because this year I'm rid of Harry Potter, maybe because I know that Voldemort is going down, and maybe because Alastor is here with me."
"Or maybe you've had your brain scrambled?"
"I wondered why I had a headache last week!" They laughed. "I don't know… I just… feel more cheerful, amongst staff anyway. I'm still my bastard self with my classes and students."
"Who knows? Maybe they've put something in the water. Why'd you come out anyway?"
"Because the closet was getting crowded, and after a while, Narnia looses it's appeal."
"Sorry?"
Snape shook his head, "something Dumbledore said."
"Is he going to be alright?"
"He's had a massive heart attack, so I don't know. To be honest, I don't think he'll last the year."
"Oh."
----
"Professor Sinistra?" Hermione asked pushing open the door to the Astronomy tower. She had looked all over the school so far, and this was the last place left.
"Over here." Sinistra called. She was standing on top of some tall stepladders fixing some model planets to the ceiling. "What do you think?" She asked climbing down.
"Impressive."
"I was a bit worried they'd look too muggle-ish. I don't get enough interest in Astronomy as it is, and I don't want to scare off the Slytherin's." She wiped her hands on a dirty rag, "how can I help you?"
"Oh, well I was wondering about applying for university, and Professor McGonagall said to talk to you."
"Depends on what sort of university you want to go to."
"How many types are there?"
"Sorry, I mean whether you want to go a muggle university or one in our world."
"I'd quite like to go to a university in… our world."
"Talking to the wrong person. I studied Astrophysics at a muggle university; in fact I studied at Sussex University."
"I didn't know you were muggle born."
"I'm not." She sat down. "At the time I still wasn't too sure what I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to teach, but I didn't know whether I wanted to teach in this world, or the muggle world. I decided that since Astronomy was my hobby and best subject here, I'd go to a Muggle University and study. That way, if I wanted to teach Astronomy in this world I still could, and if I wanted to teach in the muggle world I could teach physics."
"Sounds like hard work."
"You bet it was. Worth it though. Sorry I couldn't really help."
"That's okay."
"Try talking to Professor Daker about Arthimacy."
"Everyone keeps saying that."
Sinistra smiled, "he's good at quite a few subjects. I don't think he knew what he wanted to be either."
----
"Do we have to go to Potions?" Harry moaned as they sat down to lunch.
"Yes, we do." Ron replied.
"But I've got so much work to do! Snape's just going to give us more work!"
"We're all in the same boat." Ron said reaching over for the potatoes.
"Snape hates me! I bet he gives me more work than the rest of you. The other teachers seem to be doing that."
"Harry, me and Hermione told you get the work started when you had a chance. It's not that we have less, it's that we worked harder and did more ages ago."
"You do not work harder than me Ron. No offence, but you aren't exactly the brightest pea in the pod, are you?"
"Will you piss off!" Ron snapped. "It's bad enough you making up these stupid theories, or upsetting people! You have to go and act all macho and arrogant! I forgave you for punching me at the Quidditch match, but this is going to far. Find yourself another best friend, Harry Potter." Ron got up and stormed out the Great Hall.
---
Snape stretched as he watched his seventh year class wander in. He was all aches and pains from the other night. Sleeping with Alastor had been nice, but he wished he did not have a single bed, it got a bit cramped.
"Good afternoon, Professor." Draco Malfoy drawled as he walked past.
"Afternoon, Draco." Snape replied, managing to stifle a yawn.
"Afternoon, Professor." Neville Longbottom said quite cheerfully as he walked past, surprising both himself and Snape.
Snape was about to reply, but a yawn got the better of him. "Tired?" Draco asked him.
"Something like that." Snape replied and he looked at his watch. "You two are early."
"Harry Potter is being really arrogant, I had to leave before I hurt him." Neville admitted.
"Very noble of you." Snape congratulated him and Neville turned pink
"Why didn't you hit him? Done him a world of good." Draco asked.
"Sometimes it takes a stronger man to walk away from a fight." Snape said. "I found that out the hard way."
"You were in a fight?" Draco seemed surprised.
"Only one. In my final year, about a week before the NEWTs started."
"What was it about?"
"What are fist fights usually about between eighteen year old boys?"
"You were fighting about a girl?"
He looked at Neville and Draco's shocked faces, "you didn't think I was human did you?"
"I did, but I didn't think that you would fight over a girl!"
"I was a frustrated eighteen year old going through the finer points of adolescence, I only had one thing on my mind, and it wasn't potions."
Draco laughed, "did you win?"
"No. Got my nose broken."
"Bet you won the girl though."
"Sadly no, I didn't. Despite all their talk, girls prefer the stupid athletic rich kids to the intelligent skinny poor ones."
"Wasn't that the 70s though? Didn't the girls go for long hair and guitar playing?" Neville asked.
"They did, but I didn't have long hair then, and they preferred rock singers to opera singers." The bell rang. "Right, books out you two."
The lesson continued in the usual way. Snape snapped and moaned at the class for ten minutes before starting them on a simple potion that helps to relax and clear the mind. It had to be brewed carefully.
"Professor, what would you say if I said I wanted to attend university?" Hermione asked as Snape stopped by her table.
"I'd say, congratulations and good luck. Why?" Snape replied.
"Well, I'm thinking of going, but I don't really know much about universities in this world."
"Have you talked to Professor McGonagall?"
"Yeah, but… she seemed a bit, well upset. She sent me to speak to Professor Sinistra, who suggested I speak to Professor Daker."
"If you want to study Arthimacy, he is the man to talk to… Or maybe Professor Vector."
Hermione groaned, "I feel like I'm going round in circles!"
"I bet you do. Unfortunately, Hermione, wanting to apply to a Wizarding university is a daunting task. There are few people, who can actually help you, as few people have attended universities."
"You went to a university though, can't you help?"
"I went to the Dutch Academy of Potions, a far cry from Arthimacy."
Harry Potter's potion made a strange bubbling noise. Automatically the people near him took a step back. Snape turned to investigate.
"Why is your potion pink?" Snape asked.
"I don't know!" Harry snapped back.
"Perhaps, Mr Potter, you did not listen."
"I did!"
"Or, perhaps," Snape lowered his voice, "following instructions is not a quality your pre-pubescent mind is associated with." The potion bubbled again, this time Snape took a step back, he tried to pull Harry back but he resisted him. A second later, the cauldron blew covering Harry in the bright pink liquid and splashed Snape. "Since I have no idea what proportion of ingredients you mixed to create this… mess, I cannot even begin to speculate on the side affects." Snape turned to Ron, "Weasley, drag Potter to the hospital wing. Ms Granger, go to the staff room and get another teacher."
Five minutes later, Hermione returned with Professor Vector. "Everything all right Professor Snape?" She asked looking round the room.
"Somewhat. Potter blew up a cauldron, would you mind supervising the clean up whilst I go grab a shower?" Snape replied.
"Any side-effects?"
"Not yet, hopefully all the ingredients will have cancelled each other out."
"Right, I'll mind them for you."
----
The Gryffindor's settled down for lunch. Harry Potter was still in the hospital wing, and this was quite a welcome change.
"Ron, did anyone in your family apply for university?" Hermione asked.
"No, why?" He replied.
"I'm thinking of applying, but I don't really know much about the process. Every teacher I've asked keeps sending me to talk to Daker."
"Talk to him then."
"He's going to think I'm stalking him or something!"
"So?"
"Ron!"
"What?"
"Stalking, is bad."
"I know, but I bet he appreciates having a good looking stalker." Ron's ears turned pink.
I wouldn't be on that Hermione thought. "Ron, I'm spoken for."
"Hey, can't blame a guy for looking."
"Look but not touch." They laughed.
"You and Snape seem to be getting on well." Ron commented.
"Weird isn't it?"
"Very… Do you think it is actually Snape?"
"Sorry?"
"Well, could it be an impostor?"
"Don't think so, seems to be like Snape, but just a more relaxed person. Maybe he got a pay rise?"
"Herm, how would that change him?"
"I've no idea." They laughed again. Professor Daker walked past and he tapped Hermione on the shoulder. "Professor?"
"Just want to give you this," he handed her a thick prospectus, with one of the pages book marked. "Professor Snape mentioned that you were interesting in applying for university, to study Arthimacy." With that he walked back up to the staff table.
"What's the university?" Ron asked, looking over Hermione's shoulder.
"'The Russian Academy for the Continued Development of Magical Minds'. Sounds interesting."
"Wouldn't you have to speak Russian though?"
"Maybe." Hermione opened the prospectus at the book marked page. "Hey, this sounds really good! Look." She showed Ron the page, which listed all the courses the university offered in the field of Arthimacy.
"Go for it, Hermione."
"You think I should?"
"Defiantly!"
----
Snape groaned and flopped onto the couch in the staff room. "I think I've discovered the side-effects to that potion."
"And what's that, Severus?" A mildly interested Professor Flitwick asked.
"The overwhelming desire to have sex."
"Oh dear, not come at a good time then?"
"No." Snape sat up. "I wish I knew what that idiot boy had put in the potion, then I could go and mix an anti-dote."
"Seems to me like the only anti-dote is to obey the craving."
"Even if that was it, I… I couldn't!"
"Oh, I'm not suggested you do in school." Flitwick said, still only mildly interested, "you and Alastor could book a room over the Three Broomsticks for the night."
"And wouldn't that get people talking?"
"Perhaps it would…" Flitwick put down his paper, "or you could take a cold shower."
"I think I'll take a cold shower. If anyone comes looking for me, tell them I'm unavailable."
----
"Oh no you are not!" Sirius Black snapped.
"Sirius, this has nothing to do with you!" Lupin replied.
They had been arguing for the last half an hour. Lupin had decided to tell Sirius about his decision to sing with the old Hogwarts Band at the end of year ball for the seventh years.
"It has everything to do with me!"
"Why!"
"Have you forgotten what Snape tired to do to us?"
"He tired to do nothing. He was just trying to play his role out, and he believed he was doing the right thing! I think someone else would done the same thing if they came across a scene where a werewolf and a convicted murderer were in the presence of three children!"
"I am not talking about that! He outted you to the entire school, he's the reason you don't have a job here anymore!"
"I've talked that through with him, he apologised."
"Why would he apologise?"
"Because he saw the similarly between himself an me."
"What similarity? It's not like he is a werewolf or anything!"
"I tried to suggest that he was gay to my class. That would have in effect outted him. I did it because I was angry with him for insulting one of my pupils; he did it to me because he was angry about the entire situation… And maybe because he did feel it was the right thing to do."
"Remus, why the hell would you want to perform with a loser band?"
"In case you've forgotten, that 'loser' band won some big awards! We had talent, I want to perform again."
"Well, since I'm not going to stop you…"
"And you aren't. This is something I want to do, and I don't need your permission to run my life."
----
Snape hummed to himself as he dried off after his shower. He didn't feel any less desperate but he felt more awake. A sharp pain shot through his arm. "Oh for Christ's sake!" He snapped.
It was early evening, and for the second time in as many months Lord Voldemort was calling his followers, and once again it was at an inconvenient moment. This time he was not going to be late, being made an example of was something he never wanted to repeat.
He grabbed some clothes and dress quickly, sending a note to Alastor telling him where he was going. He decided against letting Albus know he didn't want to worry the old man even more.
----
Alastor picked up the note that had just handed on the pages of his book. "Vidjeti." He muttered, tapping the parchment with his wand. His mind was too tired to attempt any magic without use of wand. He read the note.
"Good luck, Spike." He murmured, before throwing the note into the red licking flames of the fireplace.
