~Please bear with me. Pretend the characters have never met each other before ok?

***THE MEETING***

The scene is at a beach with blue water and palm trees. Rinoa and Quistis walk towards each other and finally meet.

Rinoa: Um…excuse me, but do you know where I can find a beach and a girl named Quistis Trepe?

Quistis: I'm Quistis you ding-dong.

Rinoa: Wow!!! What a coincidence!!!! ^^

Quistis: So, you're Rinoa eh?

Rinoa: How did you know my name?! Are you my stalker?!?!?!?

Quistis: Um...never mind. Well, er…so we're going on this date together eh? Well, I'm gonna win!

Rinoa: Huh? Win what?

Quistis: The heart of the guy we're dating!!!

Rinoa: Dating…silly Quistis, I'm Single! I'm not dating anyone! Ha ha!

Quistis: Err…right. Let's just wait for our date.

Rinoa: OUR date? My date is cheating on me? Oh my ding dang gosh darn it date! I'm gonna call him up and cancel on him takes out cell phone

Quistis: No! Didn't you read the rules for this game?

Rinoa: Game?

Quistis: You know, we both take this guy out. At the end of the date, he chooses one girl to keep and he dismisses the other girl.

Rinoa: Hmm…interesting.

Quistis: Get it now?

Rinoa: Umm…no. But that's ok!

Quistis: sigh I wonder when this guy will get here?

Rinoa: Look! Look! Look! I see him! I see him!!!!!

Quistis: Umm…that's a mailman…

Rinoa: Really?! Where!!!!!

Quistis: Look there he is.

Squall approaches from a distance. He walks with his "I'm a model you know what I mean? Cuz I sashay on the Cat Walk Yea, cuz I'm too sexy for my shirt" walk. He finally reaches where the other two are standing.

Rinoa: Hi! I'm Rinoa!!!! hugs Squall

Squall: er…whatever.

Quistis: Hi, I am Quistis. You are looking very nice today. winks

Squall:…whatever.

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RINOA CONFESSIONAL

Rinoa: Well, Quistis is pretty, but I'm prettier. She might be smart, but I'm prettier. smiles dopily As for Squall. He's so darn CUTE!!! I want to hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and keep him forever!!!!

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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL

Quistis: I think Rinoa has a brain of a 6 year old. Squall is hot though. This is gonna be a piece of cake!

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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL

Squall: I think both of them are annoying. I want to go home. :grumble, grumble:

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Quistis: Ok, enough with all this chit chat. I have a super duper day planned out today!

Rinoa: ARE WE GOING TO DISNEYLAND?!

Quistis: Uh…no.

Rinoa: aww…shucks

Quistis: So do you want to know what our date is going to be?

Squall: No, not really.

Quistis: We're going to for a boat ride! I rented a yacht for the 2 of us. Uh…you can come too, Rinoa.

Rinoa: Yay!

Quistis: What do you say, Squall?

Squall: ….whatever

Quistis: Ok! All aboard.

Quistis shows them a small rowboat with peeling paint and a broken oar.

Rinoa: Wow…pretty boat drool

Squall: …you call this a yacht?

Quistis: Well, here we are. Let's get comfortable. looks longingly at Squall

Squall (thinking): Quistis looks like a monkey when she does that.

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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL:

Squall: Dear Hyne, PLEASE HELP ME!!!! Quistis is scaring me.

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Quistis leads the group to the front deck where she has set up a little picnic.

Quistis: I packed Beer and Onions!

Squall: O dear…

Quistis: And I also packed a little something for Rinoa…

Rinoa: Dog Biscuits?!

Quistis: No.

Rinoa: Aww…I wanted a doggy treat…

Quistis: Well, I did pack you a…TIME OUT CARD!!!!

Rinoa: YAY!…wait…Where am I going to go if we're all on this little row boat?

Squall (thinking): Rinoa does have brain cells left!

Quistis: Like this…puts her into an orange life jacket and puffs it up

Rinoa: Wow! Am I a pumpkin?

Quistis: Now me and Squall can be alone for 20 MINUTES!!!!

Rinoa: 20 minutes? But I can't count to…Quistis pushes her off the boat into the water Wee! Look! A duck!

Quistis: Anyway, Squall…care for an Onion?

Squall: No thanks.

Quistis: I can eat Onions very…SEXYILY.  did you know that?

Squall: No and I don't want you to show me. .

Quistis: grabs an Onion from the picnic and takes a bite out of it Mmmm…so good and spicy…like you! spews onion bits at Squall Mmmm…come join me and my…sweet onions, Squall.

Squall: I'd rather not…

Quistis: O Squall, you're so sexy, KISS ME!!! pounces towards Squall and pins him down

Squall: ARGH! Your breath!!!!!

Quistis: Isn't it sooo sexy?

Squall: *cough* It smells!

Quistis: Oooo, I love an honest man! plants a forceful kiss right onto Squall's lips

Squall: *muffled screams* turns a little green

While that little escapade is going on…we go to Rinoa.

Rinoa: I'm a little teapot! Short and stout!

Camera guy: Umm…what do you think Quistis and Squall are doing?

Rinoa: Hmmm…I think they're training Elephants.

Camera Guy: No, really.

Rinoa: Can you make an Elephant sound? Cuz I can't…attempts to trumpet like an Elephant Its so hard!

Camera Guy: Among other things…

Well, we go back to Quistis and Squall.

Quistis: still on top of Squall You're such a great kisser.

Squall: You really need a tic…Quistis plants another kiss onto him *muffled screams*

****20 Minutes Later****

Rinoa: Floats back to the boat Hey! I can make an Elephant sound!!!!

Quistis: Gets off Squall Oh Darn. She's back.

Squall: *quick breaths* I have never been so glad to see her.

Quistis helps Rinoa out of the water.

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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL

Quistis: Oh My God, that was the best 20 minutes of life!!!!

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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL

Squall: *quick, deep breaths* I will never underestimate oxygen ever again!

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RINOA CONFESSIONAL

Rinoa: Where did the Elephants go?

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Rinoa: Well, for my date, I'm taking all of you to my favorite restaurant!

Quistis: What? Chuck E. Cheese?

Rinoa: Well, no…I'm taking you to Dollet's finest Seafood restaurant!

The 3 of them arrive at "The Funky Lobster" and sit at a table outside. The waiter comes and they place their orders.

Rinoa: I like seafood. It reminds me of the sea.

Squall: err…whatever.

Quistis: argh…get me away from this insanity.

The Food Comes…

Rinoa: Here Quistis, A time out!

Quistis: sarcasticallyO thanks…walks away with her plate of food

Rinoa: So Squall, how big is your "car"? Do you like take it for rides a lot?

Squall: looks shocked Um…that isn't any of your business.

Rinoa: O! That's too bad. Because my daddy is getting me a Viper on my next birthday!

Squall: Oh…heh heh…I don't own a car.

Rinoa: shocked EWWWW!!! WHAT KIND OF HUMAN ARE YOU?!?!??!

Squall: argh…fine…I do own a "CAR."

Rinoa: Oooo!!!! Is it a Toyota?!

Let's Check on Quistis!

Quistis: I'm not scared. Rinoa wouldn't have the brains to do anything. takes a bite out of her food I'd rather be eating onions.

Back to Rinoa and Squall.

Rinoa: Want to see my Bongos?

Squall: O DEAR GOD NO!!!!

Rinoa: takes out Bongo Drums I wrote a song on them too!  

Squall: O! your BONGO DRUMS!!!! I see what you mean.

Rinoa: out of tune voice I once knew a little hairy starfish!! It lived down down under! Under where the light never hits. I like to pet that  little hairy starfish!!! OOOO yea!!!! That little star..Squall interrupts

Squall: I'm sure the rest of the song is nice too.

Rinoa: How come everyone never likes the hairy starfish song? 

Squall: Er…whatever.

Quistis comes back.

Rinoa: Ok! Let's go to the second part of my date! We're all going to my house!!!

Quistis: You mean this evening isn't over yet?

Squall, Rinoa, and Quistis arrive into Rinoa's back yard where there is a scenic pool and hot tub. They all go to change. Rinoa comes out in a baby blue bikini and water wings to match. Quistis is wearing a sensible orange one-piece. Squall remains in his leather pants and everything else as well.

Rinoa: Silly Squall! You can't swim in that!

Squall: I am not wearing a bathing suit!!!

Quistis: What's to worry about? I'm sure you'll look mighty sexy in a bathing suit!

Squall: No…

Rinoa: No worries Squall! Water never hurt. pushes him into the hot tub and then jumps in, Quistis follows suit

Quistis: Are you sure you need be wearing water wings in a hot tub?

Rinoa: Better safe than sorry!

Squall: Well, since I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable sitting in a hot tub with all my clothes on, I'm going to end this now!

Quistis: Yay! Are you going to dismiss Rinoa?

Squall: Umm…Quistis, you really annoyed me. Rinoa, you annoyed me too. But I have to say, Quistis, you are dismissed!

Quistis: shocked Well, I thought you were a *BLEEEEEEEEP* anyway! Hmph! storms away

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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL

Quistis: Argh! Squall is the most *BLEEP*in' *BLEEP*er I have ever *BLEEP*in' met!

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Rinoa: So? What do I win? An Elephant?

Squall: You get to let me go home and never talk to me ever again!

Rinoa: Wow! I'm speechless!!!!!! Do I really win all that?!

Squall: Yes, you lucky son of a gun.

Squall gets out of the hot tub and exists Rinoa's house. He takes the train back to the Garden and runs to his dorm.

Squall: The insanity is finally over! plops down on bed