~Please bear with me. Pretend the characters have never met each other before ok?
***THE MEETING***
The scene is at a beach with blue water and palm trees. Rinoa and Quistis walk towards each other and finally meet.
Rinoa: Um…excuse me, but do you know where I can find a beach and a girl named Quistis Trepe?
Quistis: I'm Quistis you ding-dong.
Rinoa: Wow!!! What a coincidence!!!! ^^
Quistis: So, you're Rinoa eh?
Rinoa: How did you know my name?! Are you my stalker?!?!?!?
Quistis: Um...never mind. Well, er…so we're going on this date together eh? Well, I'm gonna win!
Rinoa: Huh? Win what?
Quistis: The heart of the guy we're dating!!!
Rinoa: Dating…silly Quistis, I'm Single! I'm not dating anyone! Ha ha!
Quistis: Err…right. Let's just wait for our date.
Rinoa: OUR date? My date is cheating on me? Oh my ding dang gosh darn it date! I'm gonna call him up and cancel on him takes out cell phone
Quistis: No! Didn't you read the rules for this game?
Rinoa: Game?
Quistis: You know, we both take this guy out. At the end of the date, he chooses one girl to keep and he dismisses the other girl.
Rinoa: Hmm…interesting.
Quistis: Get it now?
Rinoa: Umm…no. But that's ok!
Quistis: sigh I wonder when this guy will get here?
Rinoa: Look! Look! Look! I see him! I see him!!!!!
Quistis: Umm…that's a mailman…
Rinoa: Really?! Where!!!!!
Quistis: Look there he is.
Squall approaches from a distance. He walks with his "I'm a model you know what I mean? Cuz I sashay on the Cat Walk Yea, cuz I'm too sexy for my shirt" walk. He finally reaches where the other two are standing.
Rinoa: Hi! I'm Rinoa!!!! hugs Squall
Squall: er…whatever.
Quistis: Hi, I am Quistis. You are looking very nice today. winks
Squall:…whatever.
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RINOA CONFESSIONAL
Rinoa: Well, Quistis is pretty, but I'm prettier. She might be smart, but I'm prettier. smiles dopily As for Squall. He's so darn CUTE!!! I want to hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and keep him forever!!!!
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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL
Quistis: I think Rinoa has a brain of a 6 year old. Squall is hot though. This is gonna be a piece of cake!
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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL
Squall: I think both of them are annoying. I want to go home. :grumble, grumble:
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Quistis: Ok, enough with all this chit chat. I have a super duper day planned out today!
Rinoa: ARE WE GOING TO DISNEYLAND?!
Quistis: Uh…no.
Rinoa: aww…shucks
Quistis: So do you want to know what our date is going to be?
Squall: No, not really.
Quistis: We're going to for a boat ride! I rented a yacht for the 2 of us. Uh…you can come too, Rinoa.
Rinoa: Yay!
Quistis: What do you say, Squall?
Squall: ….whatever
Quistis: Ok! All aboard.
Quistis shows them a small rowboat with peeling paint and a broken oar.
Rinoa: Wow…pretty boat drool
Squall: …you call this a yacht?
Quistis: Well, here we are. Let's get comfortable. looks longingly at Squall
Squall (thinking): Quistis looks like a monkey when she does that.
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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL:
Squall: Dear Hyne, PLEASE HELP ME!!!! Quistis is scaring me.
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Quistis leads the group to the front deck where she has set up a little picnic.
Quistis: I packed Beer and Onions!
Squall: O dear…
Quistis: And I also packed a little something for Rinoa…
Rinoa: Dog Biscuits?!
Quistis: No.
Rinoa: Aww…I wanted a doggy treat…
Quistis: Well, I did pack you a…TIME OUT CARD!!!!
Rinoa: YAY!…wait…Where am I going to go if we're all on this little row boat?
Squall (thinking): Rinoa does have brain cells left!
Quistis: Like this…puts her into an orange life jacket and puffs it up
Rinoa: Wow! Am I a pumpkin?
Quistis: Now me and Squall can be alone for 20 MINUTES!!!!
Rinoa: 20 minutes? But I can't count to…Quistis pushes her off the boat into the water Wee! Look! A duck!
Quistis: Anyway, Squall…care for an Onion?
Squall: No thanks.
Quistis: I can eat Onions very…SEXYILY. did you know that?
Squall: No and I don't want you to show me. .
Quistis: grabs an Onion from the picnic and takes a bite out of it Mmmm…so good and spicy…like you! spews onion bits at Squall Mmmm…come join me and my…sweet onions, Squall.
Squall: I'd rather not…
Quistis: O Squall, you're so sexy, KISS ME!!! pounces towards Squall and pins him down
Squall: ARGH! Your breath!!!!!
Quistis: Isn't it sooo sexy?
Squall: *cough* It smells!
Quistis: Oooo, I love an honest man! plants a forceful kiss right onto Squall's lips
Squall: *muffled screams* turns a little green
While that little escapade is going on…we go to Rinoa.
Rinoa: I'm a little teapot! Short and stout!
Camera guy: Umm…what do you think Quistis and Squall are doing?
Rinoa: Hmmm…I think they're training Elephants.
Camera Guy: No, really.
Rinoa: Can you make an Elephant sound? Cuz I can't…attempts to trumpet like an Elephant Its so hard!
Camera Guy: Among other things…
Well, we go back to Quistis and Squall.
Quistis: still on top of Squall You're such a great kisser.
Squall: You really need a tic…Quistis plants another kiss onto him *muffled screams*
****20 Minutes Later****
Rinoa: Floats back to the boat Hey! I can make an Elephant sound!!!!
Quistis: Gets off Squall Oh Darn. She's back.
Squall: *quick breaths* I have never been so glad to see her.
Quistis helps Rinoa out of the water.
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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL
Quistis: Oh My God, that was the best 20 minutes of life!!!!
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SQUALL CONFESSIONAL
Squall: *quick, deep breaths* I will never underestimate oxygen ever again!
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RINOA CONFESSIONAL
Rinoa: Where did the Elephants go?
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Rinoa: Well, for my date, I'm taking all of you to my favorite restaurant!
Quistis: What? Chuck E. Cheese?
Rinoa: Well, no…I'm taking you to Dollet's finest Seafood restaurant!
The 3 of them arrive at "The Funky Lobster" and sit at a table outside. The waiter comes and they place their orders.
Rinoa: I like seafood. It reminds me of the sea.
Squall: err…whatever.
Quistis: argh…get me away from this insanity.
The Food Comes…
Rinoa: Here Quistis, A time out!
Quistis: sarcasticallyO thanks…walks away with her plate of food
Rinoa: So Squall, how big is your "car"? Do you like take it for rides a lot?
Squall: looks shocked Um…that isn't any of your business.
Rinoa: O! That's too bad. Because my daddy is getting me a Viper on my next birthday!
Squall: Oh…heh heh…I don't own a car.
Rinoa: shocked EWWWW!!! WHAT KIND OF HUMAN ARE YOU?!?!??!
Squall: argh…fine…I do own a "CAR."
Rinoa: Oooo!!!! Is it a Toyota?!
Let's Check on Quistis!
Quistis: I'm not scared. Rinoa wouldn't have the brains to do anything. takes a bite out of her food I'd rather be eating onions.
Back to Rinoa and Squall.
Rinoa: Want to see my Bongos?
Squall: O DEAR GOD NO!!!!
Rinoa: takes out Bongo Drums I wrote a song on them too!
Squall: O! your BONGO DRUMS!!!! I see what you mean.
Rinoa: out of tune voice I once knew a little hairy starfish!! It lived down down under! Under where the light never hits. I like to pet that little hairy starfish!!! OOOO yea!!!! That little star..Squall interrupts
Squall: I'm sure the rest of the song is nice too.
Rinoa: How come everyone never likes the hairy starfish song?
Squall: Er…whatever.
Quistis comes back.
Rinoa: Ok! Let's go to the second part of my date! We're all going to my house!!!
Quistis: You mean this evening isn't over yet?
Squall, Rinoa, and Quistis arrive into Rinoa's back yard where there is a scenic pool and hot tub. They all go to change. Rinoa comes out in a baby blue bikini and water wings to match. Quistis is wearing a sensible orange one-piece. Squall remains in his leather pants and everything else as well.
Rinoa: Silly Squall! You can't swim in that!
Squall: I am not wearing a bathing suit!!!
Quistis: What's to worry about? I'm sure you'll look mighty sexy in a bathing suit!
Squall: No…
Rinoa: No worries Squall! Water never hurt. pushes him into the hot tub and then jumps in, Quistis follows suit
Quistis: Are you sure you need be wearing water wings in a hot tub?
Rinoa: Better safe than sorry!
Squall: Well, since I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable sitting in a hot tub with all my clothes on, I'm going to end this now!
Quistis: Yay! Are you going to dismiss Rinoa?
Squall: Umm…Quistis, you really annoyed me. Rinoa, you annoyed me too. But I have to say, Quistis, you are dismissed!
Quistis: shocked Well, I thought you were a *BLEEEEEEEEP* anyway! Hmph! storms away
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QUISTIS CONFESSIONAL
Quistis: Argh! Squall is the most *BLEEP*in' *BLEEP*er I have ever *BLEEP*in' met!
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Rinoa: So? What do I win? An Elephant?
Squall: You get to let me go home and never talk to me ever again!
Rinoa: Wow! I'm speechless!!!!!! Do I really win all that?!
Squall: Yes, you lucky son of a gun.
Squall gets out of the hot tub and exists Rinoa's house. He takes the train back to the Garden and runs to his dorm.
Squall: The insanity is finally over! plops down on bed
