Interlude: Always There
By Kay
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. ... yet, that is. Mwahahaha. ^_^
Author's Note: My *first* Fushigi Yuugi attempt, so bear with me here-- I'm only to episode 44, sadly. And climbing! Oh, Japanese Deluxe Box Set, I love you. ^_^ Ah-- anyway! Yaoi, m/m, slash, shounen ai, whatever you feel like calling it, it included in this fic-- Tetsuya/Keisuke! Those two are my favourite pairing in the series, actually, but there's *NO* fanfics on them.
... it's enough to make you cry. Wagh.
So enjoy! Even if it's late, I'm hyper, and I'm a horrible writer. :D OJ for all!
This is an interlude, when they're riding on the train to that town, and Tetsuya comes to find Keisuke asleep. (In other words, I'm just scrambling for a plotless story line. Gaah!)
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When you carry hot drinks, your hands get warm really quick.
Shifting his grip on the containers of scaldingly warm liquid, Tetsuya forced back a grimace of discomfort. Despite the protection the holders were made with, he could still feel the warmth seeping through to his unprotected skin-- the train lines always used the cheap cups, this one was no exception. But at least it was warm.
And something told him that they would need it.
Below his feet, the train moved in a quicky swaying motion, at odds with his normal walking. He'd be glad when he could sit down again-- both for the steady relief, and to get back to reading the Universe of the Four Gods. The book that caused it all.
He was beginning to really hate that thing. Even if it wasn't suspicious or unnerving, the fact that it was doing his best friend's younger sister danger was enough reason to hate it. It wasn't exactly good for Keisuke, or himself, either. Already he could see the signs of strain on his best friend's face, in the quality of his usually lighthearted voice. And that wasn't a good thing, to hear it changed so much in such little time.
At least this was a break, of sorts. They could relax on the ride, waiting as the tracks took them to their destination, and catch a moment of quiet calm.
Tetsuya, who had made his way carefully past the rows of seats, came to their own. Gripping the hot drinks, nestled in each hand carefully despite the uncomfortable heat they produced, he turned to the seat by the window that Keisuke had previously claimed.
"Oi, Keisuke! I got you something to--"
And, of course, it would make sense that all that walking around with cheap containers of burning coffee would be for nothing.
"Don't tell me you're asleep..." The only answer to Tetsuya's exasperated reply was a quiet exhale in breathing, hardly brought on my anything except the faint dreams passing through Keisuke's mind.
Somewhere in the time that Tetsuya had gone to buy them some cheap yet highly caffinated beverages, the blonde student had leaned against the window, and somewhere fell off into a light sleep. Obviously drifting off through shallow dreams and slightly restless thoughts. His long coat had been tucked up around his body tightly, as he curled slightly towards the window. One of his arms was resting lightly on his side, the other gently positioned between his head and the pane of glass as a pillow or cushion.
After a moment, Tetsuya shook his head with a slight grin.
I shouldn't wake him. I won't, actually-- he needs some sleep after this kind of day.
Carefully depositing the bitter-scented coffees in the cup holders provided, thanks to the first class tickets, Tetsuya slumped down in the seat across from his slumbering best friend.
Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind a nap myself. Lucky guy, he can sleep in the middle of all this.
He picked up the coffee, taking a quick sip of the soothingly heated stuff, and winced at the unsweetened taste. Naturally, it would be his luck that he'd forgotten any cream or sugur-- and Tetsuya couldn't stand black coffee...
Sitting back with a sigh again, the older teenager pushed at his sunglasses. The odds of him going to sleep were few to none, and there wasn't anything to do but read the book--
But he didn't want to read the book. Everything he read seemed to become more heavier on his heart. Wasn't there anything besides danger and pain in that world? Betrayal, deciet, and pain-- the death of Keisuke's younger sisters' loved ones. Nuriko, that was his name. And the conflicts following, if he read anymore, he was afraid of what he would find.
There was no winning. He should find out what Miaka and the others were doing.
But his chest hurt thinking about it, and instead, Tetsuya turned to glance at his best friend's sleeping form, shadowed slightly by the glasses he wore.
Keisuke...
If there was a better big brother in the world, Tetsuya wanted to know him. Not many would have gone this far, to such length and trouble, to help out their little sister. Keisuke wasn't just anyone, though-- Tetsuya knew that, out of everything. He wasn't surprised by the depth and caring the blonde held deep within him, having seen it many times.
Keisuke... I hope this ends without hurting you anymore.
And that would be where the problem lied-- at least, for Tetsuya specifically. Already he could see the worn, tired look on his friend's face, the signs of stress and fear tearing down on his control.
Although-- not now. Tetsuya studied the sleeping boy with quiet, intense fondness. When he was asleep, Keisuke's face was erased of fear or worry, and relaxed into a sweetly peaceful look that made him seem five years younger. What was that saying? Everyone looks younger whent they're asleep? It seemed to be true-- that or Keisuke was a special case...
You've been through a lot. You're not in the book, but you're suffering, too...
And it hurts me to see you like that.
Sighing under his breath, Tetsuya ran a hand through his dark stranded hair heavily. Sometimes he wondered why he felt so compelled to keep Keisuke from becoming sad-- it wasn't as though he was a relative, someone who was required to protect...
And yet, he knew the answer. It was plain as day, as stark in the night as white waves of moonlight, the gentle touch of pastel on shadow. An answer he saw in the way Keisuke's eyelashes settled on his cheek while he breathed silently, the slight curve of a smile in his sleep, and the brush of golden streaked hair that Tetsuya knew was probably even softer than it looked.
He knew the answer -- because when his friend laughed in joy, whenever Keisuke cried in deepened grief, and narrow shoulders shook for whatever reason -- Tetsuya felt the twist in his heart.
It's crazy, isn't it? But not really... considering who you are...
Keisuke, I wish you didn't have to go through this thing. At least I can make sure you don't do it alone, all by yourself.
The book looked so innocent, laying without a sound beside Tetsuya, old and worn against the new polished seat. Tetsuya glared at it from behind his glasses.
Stupid book. If you hadn't sucked Miaka in, Keisuke wouldn't have to go through all this worry...
Resisting an absurd urge to chuck it out the window, into the fast-speeding air currents as they sped down the rail tracks, Tetsuya huffed out a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest.
And watched as Keisuke slept on.
The young blonde man was oblivious to the careful study, barely moving except when to shift smoothly against his arm, and mumbling incoherently. For a moment, Tetsuya's lips twisted into a quick smile-- he was almost certain Keisuke had uttered, "...dun' like gold'ish...".
Then, with a soft, almost inaudible sigh of content, Keisuke relaxed back into peaceful dreamworld. His lips left open to breathe with a very low, rhythmic sound.
Tetsuya swallowed. I could lean over right now and kiss you...
The thought was banished almost as swiftly as it existed.
How was it possible to be so close, and yet so far? The one he wanted was right there in front of him, laid out in his golden sunshined glory, an offering that Tetsuya knew he would never dare to take. There wasn't much of a doubt about it, what Tetsuya felt for his best friend. But to reveal it to Keisuke would be another matter entirely...
Oh, the blonde wouldn't push him away. Nothing could do that, and Keisuke was to kind hearted a guy to ever have something like homophobic tendancies inside him. But that wasn't what Tetsuya wanted to know-- he wanted love from Keisuke, not friendship...
What if you had been sucked into the book? What would I do? There'd be nothing that could stop me from coming after you... well, okay, maybe, but that's not the point. I know it sounds horrible and selfish-- you'd hate me for thinking it, but y'know...
I'm just so glad...
... it wasn't you who got taken way from here.
The idea was a bad one-- even worse than most of what Tetsuya could imagine. Keisuke wouldn't have lasted very long in that book, where it looked like no one could be trusted to be telling the whole truth. Even the Suzuku warriors had the faults of keeping things to themselves. That wasn't a world he wanted his best friend in.
He wanted him in this world, with him. Here, like this, where he was unharmed and asleep and safe, where Tetsuya could watch over him in concern and be there--
Miaka can have her violet-eyed Tamahome, her protector. She can keep her warriors, the exotic and fiery tempered and intelligent, all the beautiful ones...
I just want Keisuke. I always have.
Maybe next to the people in the book, and many in real life, Keisuke wouldn't seem anything but average to the first glance. But Tetsuya knew, unlike so many, of what kind of qualities hid beneath that skin.
Strength, kindness, compassion. His best friend cried for the people he hardly knew, and rejoiced for triumphs he wasn't even a part of. For that, and other reasons, plain old Keisuke was the most beautiful of them all.
Tetsuya's face softened without his realizing it, as he looked on the almost childish expression on Keisuke's relaxed face.
So maybe it's stupid. But I think I get Tamahome's devotion to his miko, the fierce willing to protect her. Because I have it myself.
As he said to her, I can make promises, too, y'know.
Keisuke...
Without his permission, almost against his accord, Tetsuya's hand rose to cautiously but warmly touch Keisuke's peaceful face. The tiny pull of the sleeper's breath warming his hand even more than the coffee had early-- making his heart pound savagely in his chest, as it tightened.
Keisuke, I will always love you.
Shivering as the words poured through his mind again, Tetsuya was startled to feel a change in the pattern of breathing against his hand. Blinking through his dark glasses, he saw Keisuke's deep blue eyes flutter open in confusion, before focusing blurrily on him.
"... Tetsuya...?" his voice asked sleepily. There was an earnest contentment in the way Keisuke said his name, a kind of wistful joy in it, and Tetsuya's heart rose in his throat to greet the day.
"Keisuke... did you-- sleep okay?"
"Yeah..." With a quick yawn, the blonde student stretched in his seat, the slender limbs aligned with graceful muscle arching. After a moment, he slumped back again, rubbing his hands across his neck with a wince. "I must've dozed off... sorry..."
"S'okay." Tetsuya shook his head to clear it of thoughts, and gestured lately towards the coffee that still remained in the holders of the seat. "I brought you some coffee earlier. It might be only lukewarm now, but be caref--"
"Ahh! Thanks, Tetsuya!" Grinning gratefully, Keisuke reached and picked up the cup without a care, and completely missing the fact that he spilled half of it down the side. "You're the bes-- OUCH!"
Tetsuya's breath stopped at the pain filled cry, and in a distant part of his mind, he registered the coffee cup falling to the floor of the train, sloshing over the ground with brown watery intent, and the container rolling away from them as gravity called it.
"Ouch! Stupid-- it was still hot--" Keisuke's groaned and blew on two of his fingers quickly. "Ouch, ouch, ou--"
He stopped, intaking his breathe quickly.
Somewhere... in the span where Keisuke had spilled it and was trying to nurse his fingers... Tetsuya stood and quickly leaned over, taking his hand to study it in concern. His dark haired friend's sunglasses were laid forgotten on the floor, like the coffee, so that he could see the dark red spots where the scalding liquid had touched skin.
Hair brushed against the delicate underside of Keisuke's wrist, ignored by Tetsuya as he carefully studied his hand.
"T-tetsuya..."
"Idiot," came the affectionate reply. "I told you to be careful."
"You told me... you said it was lukewarm!" Keisuke protested weakly, frowning down at his friend, but unable to keep the tiny tremor out of his voice. Tetsuya was so close to him right now...
"Aa. That's true." Glancing up, Tetsuya let out a careless grin. And-- Keisuke's breath caught again, unexplainable shivers going up his spine-- those gorgeous, usually-hidden eyes were focused on his face for once.
"I'm sorry," the darker haired companion continued, "that I got your hand burnt, Keisuke."
The golden haired boy nodded slowly, dark eyes locked on his friend's with a facination that linked them both. "It's okay... it doesn't really hurt anymore..."
"Keisuke..." Tetsuya's eyes widened slightly.
And for a moment, looking at each other, the book laying beside them was forgotten-- everything in it, the people, the problems they were going to face, completely forgotten, and it was only Tetsuya and Keisuke, reading each other's pains and worries for a moment, understanding and forgiving, loving and needing--
And then--
Tetsuya looked down at his hands, breaking the contact and spell that had come with it. After a moment, he announced loudly, "Well, it shouldn't blister. You're just lucky you decided to sleep a few minutes before trying to drink it. Next time, I'll try iced tea, huh?"
"Y-yeah, sorry..." Keisuke grinned sheepishly. "Anyway, thanks for the thought. Anou... did you read anything from the book yet? How's Miaka?"
"Erm..."
Fumbling for the book next to him, with a sinking feeling due to his neglect, Tetsuya shrugged uncomfortably. "I was about to check when you woke up-- just a sec, I'll see where we are."
"Okay, thanks."
Flipping through the pages quickly with one hand, letting the book rest on the seat, Tetsuya picked up his fallen sunglasses with the other and shoved them on. Immeadiatly the world seemed a bit more darker, tinted through the glass.
"Yeah, no problem."
Yeah, for you, it's no problem, Keisuke. Just give me a chance when this whole mess is over, and I promise I'll tell you.
God, I'm starting to sound like Tamahome. But maybe he has the right idea. One way or another, when this is done, I'll have to let Keisuke know the truth. I'll let him know I love him.
So he knows I'm here for him. And always will be.
Finding the spot again within the simplistic pages, Tetsuya began to read outloud again. The words flowed form his lips as though they were meant to lie there themselves, and heard by Keisuke as though they were meant to be heard by his ears.
"And Tamahome said to the priestess, 'I will be with you always...'"
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OWARI: ... damn it, I don't *care* if he didn't really read that line outloud! It's going to be said! Because I *SAID* so and couldn't figure out a better way to end this stupid pointless fluffy sappy fic! ::wails:: ... gods, I suck at writing.
... but I couldn't help it! So what if I screw around with the scene, it's not like we didn't know they were cute anyway. ^__^ Awww, Kei-kei, I love you.
... erm, hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! ::hugs:: If you review, it'd be nice, but you aren't *forced*...
But, oh yes, I know where you live. Hee.
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