[A/N: Thursday time! Hope you're enjoying the fic, and again, thanks for reading this far!]



Thursday:



[Those present: Dr. Phil, Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Professor Trelawney, Professor Quirrel, Hermione Granger, Professor Snape, Ron Weasley, Fleur Delacour, and Madam Hooch.]



Dr. Phil: Well here we are again, in another exciting session of group therapy. I'd like to inform you all that I have not raised anything for my charity for marketing Dr. Phil bobble-head dolls. Woe is me. Anyhow, I'd like to welcome two new members, Fleur Delacour, and Madam Hooch.



Ron: Huh? Fleur? What's she here for?



Fleur: I am plagued-- *hic* Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques.. *hic* Dormez vous? Dormez vous? *hic* Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines. *hic* Ding ding doooong! Ding ding doooong!

Ron: Uh..

Fleur: *Hic* Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques...

Ron: That's enough.

Hermione: But why is Madam Hooch here?

Ron: {sniffles} HERMIONE! I LOVE YOU!

Madam Hooch: I have an obsession. I LIVE Qudditch. I eat Quidditch, I drink Quidditch, I sleep Quidditch, I read Quidditch, I play Quidditch, I LOVE Quidditch!

Professor Trelawney: I had a vision that you were coming today, and that you will continue to say 'Quidditch' many times today.

Hermione: Well that's obvious.

Draco: These sessions just get stranger by the day.

Voldemort: Very true.

*Professor Snape clings to his Voldey-woldey.*

*Voldemort hugs his Snapey-wapey.*

Professor Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Fleur: Dormez vous? Dormez vous?

Pettigrew: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family--

Voldemort: NO! ANYTHING but that!

Pettigrew: If you're happy and you know it.. clap your hands?

*Everyone except Voldemort claps.*

Voldemort: NO!

Pettigrew: Well, then, why don't you sing?

Voldemort: Me?

Professor Snape: Go Voldey-woldey!

Voldemort: Um.. well.. When a man's an empty kettle, he should be on his mettle, and yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kinda human,

if I only had a heart!

*Everyone cheers.*

Voldemort: Thank you! You love me! You really love me!

Hermione: Actually, I..

Ron: SHUT UP, HERMIONE!

Voldemort: Very wise, Mr. Weasley.

Ron: {blushing} Aw, shucks.

Madam Hooch: Quidditch.

Professor Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Dr. Phil: Shouldn't we be moving along, now? Hm. Ms. Trelawney, why don't you tell us your story?

Professor Trelawney: Well, actually, I don't have much of a problem, but Professor Dumbledore urged me to come here, so I did. Anyhow, I am a true seer. True seers are very rare, and always make accurate predictions, but many Hogwarts students, like Miss Granger here--

Lucius: HEY! Don't pick on Hermione!

*Hermione convulses.*

Professor Trelawney: Back to what I was saying-- many Hogwarts students go around claiming I'm a fraud! How dare they! Dr. Phil: We all believe that you're a true seer. Don't we?

{Silence.}

Dr. Phil: Would you like to contribute to the Dr. Phil charity for marketing Dr. Phil bobble head dolls?

Professor Trelawney: No.

*Dr. Phil sighs.*

Fleur: Sonnez les matines. *hic* Sonnez les matines.

Pettigrew: I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout! When I get all steamed up, hear me shout! Tip me over, and pour me out!

Draco: Hey! I LIKE that song!

*Lucius wheezes.*

Ron: Blackmail.. hm..

Draco: NO! DON'T TELL POTTER!

*Everyone winces.*

Voldemort: Don't say that name!

Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Fleur: Ding ding dong! *hic* Ding ding dong!

Madam Hooch: Quidditch!

Professor Snape: Be quiet!

Pettigrew: No! IIIIIIT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL, SMALL WORRRRRLDDDDDDDDD!

*Everyone screams.*

Dr. Phil: And so ends today's session! I'll see you tomorrow! Only three days to go.