[A/N: Friday! You really made it to Friday! Thanks for reading so far! Just a few more left!]

Friday:

[Those present: Dr. Phil, Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Professor Trelawney, Professor Quirrel, Hermione Granger, Professor Snape, Ron Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Madam Hooch, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black.]

Dr. Phil: Thank gods the week is almost over. Today, we welcome two new members-- what a surprise. Let's all give a warm welcome to Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black.

Ron and Hermione: Sirius! Professor Lupin!

Remus: Yes, hello everyone.

Sirius: {motioning to Pettigrew} Erg. No one told me HE would be here!

Remus: Pettigrew. What are you doing here?

Sirius: Isn't it obvious? The idiot NEEDS therapy.

Remus: So true. But dammit, he has to be in the same group as us.

Pettigrew: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Big bad wolf, big bad wolf! Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Tra la la la la!

Remus: If someone sings that ONE MORE TIME..

Sirius: It's okay, Remus, I'll take care of him.

Pettigrew: How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the waggley tail? How much is that doggy in the window? I do hope that doggy's for sale!

Fleur: Frère Jacques! *hic* Frère Jacques!

Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Madam Hooch: Quidditch!

Professor Trelawney: I was right!

Sirius: SHUT UP!

Voldemort: There's no use, Sirius. It's a living freak show.

Hermione: That's NOT nice!

Professor Snape: Don't insult my Voldey-woldey!

Sirius: Voldey-woldey? Severus, what has gotten into you?

Remus: Ah, I should've known.

Voldemort: Don't tease my Snapey-wapey!

Draco: I want my Potter-wotter!

*Everyone winces.*

Voldemort: DON'T SAY THAT NAME!

Sirius: Well.. I suppose I don't mind the name. He is my godson..

Voldemort: WHAT?!

Sirius: He.. is.

Lucius: Fucked up family.

Hermione: You should talk.

Lucius: WHAT?! No. I can't. I love her.

Ron: I LOVE HERMIONE!

Lucius: NO, I DO!

Ron: ME!

Lucius: NO, ME!

*Ron tackles Lucius with a screech, and the two begin wrestling.*

Fleur: Dormez vous? *hic* Dormez vous?

Dr. Phil: Can we.. stop this, please?

Pettigrew: You Are My Sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away!

*Lucius heaves Ron off of him.*

{Lucius is left with a bloody nose, and Ron is left with a black eye.}

Dr. Phil: Apparently this Harry Potter is causing a lot of tension between you all.

Voldemort: Don't say that name!

Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Draco: I love him!

Fleur: Sonnez les matines! *hic* Sonnez les matines!

Madam Hooch: Did you say Quidditch?

Sirius: Freaks.

Pettigrew: How much is that--

Sirius: Fuck you, Pettigrew!

Hermione: You can rhyme!

Ron: So can I! I'm a poet and I didn't even--

Hermione: No, Ron.

Ron: Sorry.

Remus: Why can't we all be civil?

Pettigrew: Oh, who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Remus: PETTIGREW!

Dr. Phil: Well I think I've found a solution to why Pettigrew sings.

Everyone: WHY?!

Dr. Phil: His inner child-self is longing to get out, and proclaim his need for protection!

Pettigrew: True, but, actually, I just like the songs.

Fleur: Ding ding dong!

Quirrel: SEIZE HIM!

Pettigrew: Big bad wolf, big bad wolf!

*Remus twitches.*

Sirius: What's wrong, Remus?

Remus: ..full moon.

*Everyone screams!*

Dr. Phil: Alright, excellent session, see you all tomorrow! Hate to leave so soon!