The Moonlight Noon Chateau

By Hippy Gypsy

Disclaimer:  All Harry Potter characters belong to… [Sammy:  Me!]  No Sammy.  JK Rowling.  The Moonlight Noon Chateau characters belong to… [Sammy:  Me!]  Sammy, you are a Moonlight Noon character.  You can't own yourself.  [Sammy:  Oh yeah?]…[Oliver and Evan bust in and all three proceed to sing "You Don't Own Me" like the women in "The First Wives Club"]  God I'm glad I'm a girl.  Anyways, on with the fic.  "Lady Marmalade" is the property of Moulin Rouge and it's one of my all time favorite songs!  So anyways…here we go!

Chapter 11:  The Ladies of the Marmalade

            "Please?"

            "No."

            "Please?!"

            "No!"

            "Carlotta, I'm begging you for the last time, please?!"

            "Dammit Evan!  NO!!"  Carlotta slammed her tray down on the counter after a long night, and she startled Oliver from his daydream about what he could be eating for supper at that very moment.

            Everyone was cleaning and locking up for the night.  Voldemort had been a no show, but then again, that was fine with everyone else.  Evan and Carlotta were once again arguing about her performing the Marmalade.  He sat at the piano looking over his music.  "Carlotta, I have four women.  I have Diva, Prima Donna, Devine, and Little Rock.  I need one more.  Come on hun."

            "I said no Evan.  I'm not going to do it."  She crossed her arms.

            Minerva looked up at her.  "Carlotta, why do you deny it so much?  I hear you have a wonderful voice.  And you perform sometimes anyways."

            "Minerva, my voice is horrible," she replied.  "Who ever gave you the idea that I was even slightly good is very wrong."

            Severus smiled.  "You keep turning away Carlotta, but your voice is beautiful no matter how much you deny it."

            Carlotta stopped and turned around.  She looked at him and gave him a look that said, What are you trying to do to me?

            "Sweet Pea," said Antonio, "It's not right.  Everyone else working here has at least taken the test.  It seems to me that you're just being plain lazy."

            Carlotta spun around.  "What?!  Lazy?!  Me?!  Absurd!"  She crossed her arms.  "Never in my life have I heard such a thing."

            "I have," said Sammy, jumping off the stage.  "You're probably avoiding it."

            He had hit her interests.  "Why would I avoid it?"

            "Because you can't sing a note," he replied simply.

            "Hey there Sammy Boy!  I may not have the best voice like a Diva or a Prima Donna, but I can still hit a note thank you very much."  With that she turned away.

            "Can not."

            "Can too."

            "Not a chance."

            "Care to make a wager on that?"

            Sammy smiled almost evilly.  "Prove it."

            He had caught Carlotta off guard.  Before she realized what she was doing, she had taken a deep breath and burst out singing the first verse of the Marmalade.

"He met Marmalade down at ol' Moonlight Noon

strutting her stuff on the street

she said, 'Hello, hey Joe

you wanna give it a go?'"

            It was then that Minerva, Tiffany, Little Rock, and Devine busted into the chorus in the background.

"Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da

gitchi gitchi ya ya yeah

mocha chocalotta ya ya…"

            Carlotta stopped and slapped her hands over her mouth.  What had she done?  She spun around and looked straight at the Moonlight Noon's Master of Ceremonies.  "SAMMY!!!"

            Sammy laughed out loud and bowed.  "And that ladies and gentlemen is what you call reverse psychology!"  The whole room had begun to applaud for Sammy's quick thinking and Carlotta's sweet voice. 

            Evan smiled.  "You just proved that you could do it Carlotta."

            Carlotta's face became a deep crimson red.  Severus smiled and took her hand. 

            "So," Evan continued, "Will you do it?"

            She stared daggers at Sammy, and he knew by the look on her face that she was thinking, I'm going to absolutely kill you.

            "Fine," said Carlotta.  "Fine.  I'll do it."

            The whole crowd began to cheer.

            "But I'll let you know that if I mess up and make us a laughing stock, it's all your fault."

            Evan and Antonio smiled.  "It's a responsibility I'll be happy to take," Evan replied adding her name to the list.  "The practices begin tomorrow morning."

            "Wonderful."

            The next day, preparations for the Marmalade night had begun.  Carlotta joined Minerva, Tiffany, Little Rock, and Devine for dancing practices.  Antonio was seeing to business as usual, but far busier.  Sammy, Oliver, and Evan had performance practices themselves, as they had a few scenes to act out.  The kitchen staff was on double call, for the crowd inside the Moonlight Noon was sure to be doubled as well that night.

            As for the Hogwarts five, Dumbledore had them on watch for Voldemort on the Marmalade night.  Antonio had heard that the Dark Lord was most certainly going to be present.  He was, after all, half owner, and it would just be wrong for him to miss the Moonlight Noon's biggest night of business!  So they all prepared to stand watch for him and his so called "Diamond Dogs." 

            They were all ready on the night of the Marmalade…

            Sammy straightened his hat and stepped through the curtain of the stage.  The crowd ROARED!  The place was packed!  Not an empty seat in the house!  Barely even standing room!  The rich folk of Paris were extremely turned out.  Dress robes, glittering jewelry, and top hats all over the place.  Dumbledore, Snape, Trelawney, and Hagrid sat at a table near the stage watching the show with excitement.  In only a few moments, the Marmalade would be performed.

            Monsieur "Voldemort" Elddir was off in his usual booth with his Death Eaters/Diamond Dogs.  Not one of them seemed to show off their excitement for the evening.

            Sammy raised his purple megaphone to his lips.  "Madames et Monsieurs!  Again!  Welcome to the Moonlight Noon Chateau this evening!"

            The crowd roared again.

            "Next this evening, our very own piano player and orchestra leader, Evan, would like to take the stage!"

            Evan climbed to center stage.

            "What will you be singing for us tonight Evan?" Sammy asked.

            "Who said I was going to sing anything?" Evan said with a sly smile.

            Sammy's face fell.  "Then what are you going to be doing?"

            Evan grinned wickedly.  "Cut your girlfriend in half."  With that he walked off stage behind the curtain.

            "O…wait…CUT MY GIRLFRIEND IN HALF?!!  EVAN!!!"

            But Sammy was too late.  The curtain opened up and Evan and Oliver were rolling out an oblong box that stood upright.  Little Rock came out behind them carrying three long, thick blades.  She was smiling.  The orchestra began to play.  Sammy ran off stage in horror.

            Evan took Little Rock's hand and twirled her.  "Don't worry hun," he told her over the monstrous noise of the crowd, dipping her.  "You won't feel a thing!"

            "O gee.  I feel so much better," she replied.  She was still smiling.

            Oliver took her other hand and they forced her into the box and locked it.  Little Rock's face and two hands were still shown, but she had no means of escape. 

            Oliver handed Evan one of the blades.  "All right Oliver," Evan said.  "Which first?"

            "Cut off her feet first," the bartender replied wicked, yet jokingly.

            Dumbledore was watching intently.  I always wondered how this trick was done with out wizard's magic, he thought.

            Evan reached for the bottom slot.  With one quick push, he slid the first blade into place.  The crowd gasped and held its breath.  But Little Rock didn't scream, or seem to give any notice what so ever.  She just still smiled.

            Evan took the next blade and inserted it into the top slot, where the blade would severe her head right off.  But as Evan was half way inserting the blade, Little Rock let out a great, "O!"

            Everyone held their breath and Evan stopped.  Sammy ran out onto the stage and yelled, "Are you alright?!"

            Little Rock looked up casually.  "Me?  Oh I'm fine.  I just got a itch I can't reach."  She smiled again.

            Oliver took Sammy by the arm and dragged him off stage as the crowd cheered with laughter.  "Leave the artist to his work."  Sammy was thrown backstage.

            Evan took the last blade and gave it a good hard pound on the side, causing the whole audience to jump.  "The last blade," he said with a flicker of triumph.  "You ready hun?"

            "Bring it on babe," she replied winking.

            Evan took the blade and slipped it in delicately, but Little Rock took a sharp intake of breath.  Everyone gasped again.  "Sorry everyone," she said.  "That blades way too cold."

            The crowd laughed again as Evan placed in the last blade.  Oliver walked over and him and Evan began dismantling Little Rock's body into its four parts.  They set different sections across the stage, not bothering to keep them organized.  Devine walked out for a moment.  "O, that is just disgusting!" she exclaimed and ran off to finish making herself up.

            Prima Donna came off the other side of the stage.  She conveniently ended up next to the part with Little Rock's head.  "I guess telling you that I was right about this place making you go to pieces isn't the right time, is it?" 

            "Oh shut up."  The crowd roared and applauded.

            Dumbledore was fixed.  "How the hell did they do that?" he remarked.

            "She must be a contortionist," said Trelawney.  "It's the only way."

            "How do you figure?" Snape asked.

            "Those aren't her real hands.  She's actually all scrunched up in the top part.  That's how Muggle magicians get away with this stuff."  She smiled in satisfaction.

            "And 'ow exactly do you know a' this?" Hagrid asked with an eyebrow raised.

            "Are you kidding?  Have you ever watched Muggle television?  They eat this stuff up!"

            Back on stage, Evan and Oliver were attempting to assemble Little Rock's body together again, proving to be successful on the third try.  Evan hastily removed the blades from their slots as Sammy ran back out on stage.  Little Rock was still smiling as her door was opened, and she walked out onto the stage, no wounds, marks, blood, or scratches of any kind.  The crowd went nuts on its feet with applause!!  Evan and Oliver took her hands and Little Rock took her bow and ran off stage to get ready for the next act…the Marmalade!

            Sammy took center stage with the large megaphone again just as Antonio and Oliver came up and took a seat with Dumbledore's group.  "So what do you think so far?" Antonio asked with a smile.

            Dumbledore merely shook his head with amusement.  "You people really outdo yourselves."

            "That's my favorite answer."

            They all turned back to the stage and listened to Sammy's speech.  He lifted his megaphone to his lips and announced, "Madames et Monseiurs, it is now time for the moment you've all been waiting for!"  The crowd screamed its approval so loudly that Sybil had to cover her ears a bit.  "Yes ladies and gentlemen!  It's time for the Marmalade!  Every year since the one and only Antonio Safrin opened the Moonlight Noon Chateau, this night, which was later referred to "The Marmalade Night", has taken place!  In order to become a true member of the Moonlight Noon family, you must pass a test!  No men have come forward this year, but we do have a positive looking candidate for our performers!  Tonight, the Marmalade shall be performed by four of the Moonlight Noon's own, and one newcomer!

            "First to come out, a fair beauty from this side of Paris!  She may be the youngest of all our performers, but she knows her art well!  And not only that, but she is, after all, my girlfriend."  Sammy smirked to himself as half the men in the crowd booed back at Sammy.  "Ladies and gentlemen, I am of course speaking of the one and only Little Rock!"  The crowd applauded loudly.

            "Next, a legend in the history of the Moonlight Noon Chateau!  She has returned after ten long years of being away, but she is of course welcomed back with open arms.  Yes, your Diva!"

            Back at their table, Hagrid let out a loud whistle over the crowd and everyone was cheering like mad.

            "Next, a goddess from the deepest, darkest regions of Africa.  But her beauty (and her hair) always shines through the dark recesses.  Madames et Monsieurs, Devine!"  The crowd screamed again.

            "This year's only new candidate is next.  But though this is her first big performance singing, she has not gone unnoticed here at the Moonlight Noon.  Ladies and gentlemen, our head waitress, Carlotta!" 

            Even though she hadn't even performed the Marmalade yet, the applause that met their ears was deafening!  It was as if she were accepted already.  Some people were even on their feet with excitement!  You can do this Carlotta, Snape thought deeply and his heart began to beat faster.  You'll do fine.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Voldemort finally look up from his mental stupor to gaze up at the stage with interest.

            "And finally," Sammy shouted into his megaphone, "the woman of the Moonlight Noon Chateau that needs no introduction what so ever!  Primaaaaaaa Donnaaaaaaa!"

            The crowd wouldn't quiet down for anyone or anything.  Voldemort had even stepped out of his booth now to get a better view of the show.

            "And so," Sammy shouted above the noise, "I guess there's nothing left for me to say, except…"  He took a quick glance at Evan, who had returned to his position as conductor.  Evan nodded and began to snap his fingers.

Sammy

Where's all my soul sistas?

Let me hear y'all flow sistas!

            The lights began to dim and Sammy backed off the stage.  The giant red curtain opened revealing the stage set with bright lights.  In the back was a shiny white curtain and five shadows stood behind it.  The five shadows began to sing out.

Little Rock, Minerva, Devine, Carlotta, and Prima Donna

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista

            Little Rock appeared from behind the curtain in bright pink (Author's Note: Think of Mya in the music video) and the crowd cheered as she stepped forward.

Little Rock He met Marmalade

Down at ol' Moonlight Noon

Struttin' her stuff

On the street!

She said, "Hello, hey Joe.

You wanna give it a go?!"

            The shadows behind the screen danced and sang along too.

Little Rock, Minerva, Devine, Carlotta, and Prima Donna

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da (Carlotta: Hey hey hey!)

Gitchi gitchi ya ya yeah (Devine: Yeah yeah yeeeaaahhh!)

Mocha chocolata ya ya (Prima Donna: Oh yeah!)

            Little Rock stood center stage and the music halted and she sang.

Little Rock Creole Lady Marmalade!

O wow wow!

            The crowd roared as the next performer prepared to step from behind the curtain.

Little Rock, Minerva, Devine, Carlotta, and Prima Donna

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

(Devine:  Yeah yeah yeah yeah!) (Prima Donna: Ow!)

            And Minerva, the Diva, stepped out, top hat in place.  She was wearing the same backless black dress as she was in the picture of when she first performed the Marmalade.  Her eyes were dancing behind a layer over black lace.

Minerva

He sat in her boudoir (Little Rock and Carlotta:  Hey sista, go sista…)

While she freshened up

The boy drank all that

Magnolia wine

All her black satin sheets

Suedes, dark greens, yeah

Little Rock, Minerva, Devine, Carlotta, and Prima Donna

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da (Minerva: Ba da da)

Gitchi gitchi ya ya yeah (Minerva: Oh baby)

Mocha chocolata ya ya (Minerva: Yeah)

            The music hit a pause once more and Minerva smiled.

Minerva

Creole Lady Marmalade!

Little Rock, Minerva, Devine, Carlotta, and Prima Donna

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? (Devine: Ce soir?  What what what?)

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

(Devine:  Yeah yeah oh!)

            Suddenly, Devine stepped through the curtain dressed in shimmering white and crystals (Author's Note: Think of Lil' Kim in the music video).

Devine

They come through with the money in the garter bags
Let them know 'bout that cake, straight up the gate
Well, we independent women

Some mistake us for whores
I said, "Why spend mine when I can spend yours?"
Disagree? Well that's true and I'm sorry
I'm gonna keep playing these cats out like guitars
Wear ideal shoes, get love from the grooves
Four bad ass chicks from the Moonlight Noon!

Little Rock, Minerva, Carlotta, and Prima Donna
Hey sistas, soul sistas

Better get that dough sistas

Devine

We drink wine with diamonds in the glass
Bottle case, the meaning of expensive taste
If you want gitchi gitchi ya ya
Mocha chocolata

            The music stopped and Devine belted out…

Devine

Creole lady Marmalade!

            The crowd was in an uproar!  They acted as if they had never scene it before in their entire lives!  Even Voldemort and his Death Eaters/Diamond Dogs were straining to get a good view over the crowd's heads and see the show!

Devine

One more time c'mon now!'

            Severus had been smiling the whole time, but suddenly he became very nervous.  Carlotta was next.  He was sure she would do fine.  She had practiced like mad with Evan (way too much by Evan's opinion), but still there was that shadow of a doubt.  Severus crossed his fingers in his jacket pocket.

All

Marmalade! (Prima Donna: O!) (Carlotta:  Oh lady!)

Marmalade! (Carlotta:  O!  Yeah yeah!)

Marmalade!

Carlotta

O wow wow!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! (Devine: Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh!)

            And Carlotta stepped through the curtain and Severus's heart melted all over again.  She was dressed in a deep blue corset dress that was covered in a flower and vine design.  Her black curls hung down her back, but she had a silver circlet around her head.  Her angel wings were pinned to her back and a silver necklace hung at her neck.  Her voice was even sweeter than the others.

Carlotta

Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth
Hey!

Colour of café au lait

All right!
Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried

Carlotta, Little Rock, Minerva, Prima Donna

More!

Devine

More!

Carlotta, Little Rock, Minerva, Prima Donna

More!

Devine

More!

All

More! (Carlotta: O wow wow!)

            Severus suddenly jumped up from his seat and screamed, "CARLOTTA!  I LOVE YOU!"  Carlotta couldn't hear him over the music or the noise, but someone did.  Voldemort took a quick glance at Snape from the corner of his eye.  But suddenly Tiffany came out in a dazzling Genie costume, covered in diamonds, and the white curtain lifted.  The stage was ablaze in lights!

Prima Donna

Now he's back home doin' nine to five (Carlotta: Nine to five!)

Sleepin' the gray flannel life

But when he turns off to sleep

The memories creep

Carlotta, Little Rock, Minerva, Prima Donna

More!

Devine

More!

Carlotta, Little Rock, Minerva, Prima Donna

More!

Devine

More!

All

More!

Prima Donna

O wow wow wow!

            The stage exploded and suddenly all five women were together center stage, dancing to the music.

All

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da (Prima Donna and Carlotta:  Ba da ya!)

Gitchi gitchi ya ya yeah (Carlotta:  O wow!  Yeah!)

Mocha chocolata ya ya (Little Rock:  O!)

Prima Donna

Creole Lady Marmalade!

Carlotta and Prima Donna

Hey! Yeah yeah yeaha!

All

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Minerva

All my sistas!

All

Voulez-vous coucher moi, ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (Prima Donna: O yeah!)

            Suddenly Sammy came running from the stage with his purple megaphone with the music playing.

Sammy

C'mon!

Prima Donna!

Prima Donna

O yeah yeah yeah yeah o!

Sammy

Carlotta!

Carlotta

Lady Marmalade!

Sammy

Devine!

Devine

Hey! Hey!  O o o o o o o!

Sammy

Diva!

Minerva

O o o wow wow!

Sammy

My Little Rock baby!

Little Rock

Lady!

Sammy

Moonlight Noon!

Minerva

O!

Little Rock

Da da!

Da da!

Sammy

Sammy Boy here!

            And they were all centered stage, all around Sammy and the last line was sung so crystal clear!

All

Creole Lady Marmalade!

O wow wow

O YES AH!

            A stranger walking by might have thought an explosion had taken place inside the Moonlight Noon Chateau the crowd was so loud!  Each woman got a tumultuous amount of applause (Minerva particularly), but the one that counted, Carlotta's, was unmistakable.

            When she stepped forward to bow, the audience jumped out of their seats!!  Severus screamed himself hoarse!  Hagrid and Oliver banged their fists on the table!  And she had gotten her standing ovation!  She had done it!  Carlotta was red in the cheeks and was about to faint with relief until Sammy suddenly took her hand and put her in front of all the other girls.

            He cleared his throat and quieted down the crowd to silence with a wave of his hands.  "Dearest Carlotta," he said through a huge grin, "you have performed the Marmalade, and I believe it is quite obvious that you have passed!"  The crowd cheered again, and Sammy had to quiet them.  "So your name and trademark shall be received.  Your wings are your trademark, which you wear so proudly, because after all, you are our angel."  Everyone cheered and Snape grinned.  She's my angel, he thought to himself.  That's my angel.  "As for your name, it is one that you are already quite familiar with.  It's on loan from Antonio and Oliver, but from here on out, you shall be known as Sweet Pea!"

            Everyone was on their feet shouting and repeating "Sweet Pea!  Sweet Pea!"  Carlotta was engulfed with hugs by Minerva, Little Rock, Devine, and Prima Donna.  But suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a huge black eagle owl had appeared above the crowd.  It swept over them all and Sammy caught it on his arm.  Right into Carlotta's arms, it dropped a dozen of the most beautiful red roses.  She read the note attached.  It read, "For my angel, I am eternally yours." 

There was no signature, but Carlotta smiled.   "Severus," she whispered.

With that, she was taken with all the other performers backstage to change and enjoy the rest of the evening.  Nothing could spoil Carlotta's triumphant night.

But back out in the audience, Severus eyebrows were furrowed.  Trelawney smiled at him and said, "Severus!  That was wonderful what you did with the roses!  You must really love her!"

But Severus turned to Sybill with worry in his eyes.  "But I didn't send her the roses."

Everyone looked at him for a moment.  "What?" Trelawney repeated.

"I didn't send her the roses…"

Note from the Author:  Sorry it took me so long to get this up.  I've been busy like you wouldn't believe.  But enjoy! J  Hehehehe…cliffhanger!!