~*A/N: Aha.. I have a new chapter ready to go! :) I feel so proud! lol.. yeah ok, enough of this... ~Feathers of the wind*~ 07.14.02
Love is Forever
Chapter 6: Not too close
The room was blurry, that was the first thing Hitomi noticed when she opened her eyes. It was rather dim, that much she could tell. She had a blink a few times before the room could possibly come back into proper focus. Then, her eyes opened wide and she gasped.
It was him. He was here... and she was alive. Damn it all to hell.
"Van.. is that you?" She could see Van's face was wet with tears, but his eyes were now shining with happiness.
"Hitomi! You're ok!" Without thinking, he hugged her close. Hitomi immediately began to blush, but returned the hug. Suddenly she remembered what Folken had told her.
"You must not get attached to Van. That's all I can say"...
Hitomi stopped hugging Van and tried to pull away a little, as much as she really wanted to just stay where she was, she couldn't. She'd learned to take things seriously in this world. Van on the other hand, was a little confused as to why she pulled away.
Perhaps she's moved on... right. That would be why she tried to commit suicide...
"Hitomi... are you sure everything is ok in your world?" Hitomi risked a quick glance at Van's face, which was now looking at her intently with worry and concern. Looking down at the bed sheets clutched in her fists, she quickly answered.
"yes. It's fine." Van bent down so that she would look him straight in the eye.
"You're absolutely sure about that, are you?" Now Hitomi's eyes wandered around the room.
"Uh huh." Van could tell he wasn't getting anywhere with this. Gently, yet firmly, he grabbed one of her bound wrists, earning him a surprised shriek. He held the wrist directly in front of her face and asked again,
"You're absolutely sure that everything is ok?" Hitomi could detect a hint of anger and impatience in his tone of voice. Hitomi whimpered slightly, staring at her bandaged wrist. She didn't say 'ok, yes...' or anything that had to do with confirming his question. Van could tell she was going to cry soon if he didn't explain, so he gently set her wrist down, and sat in front of her, trying to get her to look at him.
"Hitomi.. please. I'm worried about you. You almost died, because you slit your wrists. I'm pretty sure that you know, as much as I do, that slitting wrists is a suicide attempt. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Van felt as if he was speaking to a 3 year old child, trying to not shout, or yell. It was taking a lot of his self control.
Hitomi sat quietly for a few more moments, then answered so quietly, that Van almost didn't hear her.
"I hate my life. And life hates me. It's rather fitting, isn't it?" Hitomi chuckled bitterly. Van was confused. When they were younger, Hitomi had always seemed so full of life, and seemed to bring that feeling to everyone around her. Usually, it was him that gave the whole "I-hate-life" feeling to those near him. Now, it was the exact opposite.
"Hitomi, what happened on the Mystic Moon, while you've been gone?" Van hated to see her upset, and this was beyond upset. She was desperate.
"Nothing happened. When I returned... everyone would stay away from me. I would try to talk to someone, and they would run away or say some really awful things. My only friend was Yukari. But now, even she hates me." Hitomi paused, remembering the phone conversation she'd had earlier.
"I was so alone, Van. I tried to talk with you, but the link wouldn't work. I felt.. abandoned. Like no one really cared anymore, if they ever did in the first place." Van couldn't believe what he was hearing. Somehow, Hitomi had gotten the idea that on one cared about her at all.
"Hitomi, you know that's not true." Hitomi looked at him defiantly.
"Oh, I do, do I? It's hard to tell when people are calling me 'freak', 'alien' or any other retarded name they can come up with. You don't know what it's like to feel that everyone's talking behind your back and whispering about you. You don't know what it's like to be totally alone!" Hitomi cried, falling back onto the bed, facedown on the pillow as she sobbed.
Little did she know, Van did know how it had felt to be alone, and singled out. Had she forgotten that he was of a cursed race? Or had she still thought of the wings as being 'heavenly'? He gently stroked her back and hair, while she cried.
"Hitomi, I do know how that felt. People were always talking about how as a draconian, I was a curse. I know the kind of pain you are in... remember when I lost my family? Trust me, that not like going on a picnic." Not lifting her head, Hitomi muttered,
"At least you had Merle to turn to. I don't have anyone."
"What about your parents?" Van questioned, almost afraid to hear that they had died or something. If her parents were still alive they would surely care, wouldn't they? Apparently not, as Hitomi almost laughed.
"Yeah right. Trying to tell them I went to another world and am still human would be like getting Dilandau to love you." Van pretended to think that over.. 'nope, I guess that doesn't work,' he thought.
"Look Van, my parents just aren't the kind of people that I would talk to about this. I've already tried that, and they sent me to a psychiatrist."
"Well... there's me." Van meekly replied, not looking at Hitomi in the eye, afraid that she would laugh at that too. Hitomi smiled a little, and put her hand atop of Vans.
"I know Van.. I know. Thank you." She whispered, meaning every bit of it. Van then had a little bit of an idea.
"Hitomi, since you are on Gaea where everyone likes you and knows you, why don't you think of it as a 'vacation'?"
"Sure Van.. I would like that."
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~*A/N: Hey! I think this is the first time I've actually posted two chapters at once! What did you all think? Well, I've got a little poem for you:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
if you liked my story,
please leave a review!!!
*^^*... please review!! ~* Feathers of the wind*~
