Chapter Five
I remember falling

I remember marching

Like a one-man army

Through the plains

I know I'm coughing

I believe in something

I don't want to remember falling

For your lies

- Our Lady Peace "One Man Army"

Even though he knew it was fake, the African sun still felt wonderful on Mouse's face. If he didn't know any better, the sweltering heat of Tripoli would have bothered him, but perception is everything. The mind is a wonderful thing, where it goes, the body follows.

Back in the Real World, he had woken up in Astral's arms on the Predator after the party. He disentangled himself carefully and watched her sleeping. God, she was beautiful. Even without her hair, and gaunt and malnourished on Real food of the Now, and in scraggly handed down clothing, she was still beautiful.

He smiled and leaned over and kissed her awake. She fluttered her eyes for a moment and looked lovingly up at him.

"Hi," She smiled coyly.

"Hi," He said. "I.I really loved last night. I.I'm glad it was with you."

"So am I," She whispered back.

Mouse smiled faintly and flushed a bit. "Um, I think I have to go before someone finds me, but.do you want to see me again? 'Cause I know I want to see you again. And again and again. And-"

Astral laughed softly and leaned up to silence him with a kiss. "I would love to see you again. And I would love to do this again with you." She leaned back down into her bunk and smiled up at him. "I'll send you a message, 'kay?"

Of course, she had sent more than one message. The two would message back and forth between the ships for hours on end. Whenever they had a chance, they met in the Matrix. Like now.

"Thanks for doing this for me, by the way." Mouse glanced up at Neo, whose Matrix-Canadian skin was not used to the Matrix-Tripoli sun and was sweating profusely.

"Hey, now problem," Neo responded. "I know Trinity doesn't do these things with you anymore, since last time. I still think you deserve a good time," He smiled and slapped his young friend on the back. Mouse grinned up at him and Neo remembered what it was like to be young and in love. Of course, he hadn't been in love in a long time, back in the Matrix, before Australia. After that he didn't go out much, in his passionate search for the truth about the Matrix. Then he had met Trinity.

And he really didn't know what to do with that. Trinity was so far away, so unobtainable.maybe that's what made her so attractive to him. And obviously, there was something there, due to what she made him say when she was drunk. After that he went and uploaded Spanish, and was too much of a gentleman to bring it up around her.

At least he knew now. Sort of. It's like both of them were too scared to admit anything. He sort of wished he were young now, then there'd be no consequences, no past experiences to make him afraid.

Mouse's face broke into a grin and he ran towards the outdoor café. "Astral!" He ran up to her and hugged the short girl, spinning her around.

Astral took full advantage of the digital projection of her mental self- spiky pink hair, huge shoes and baggy jeans, chains, the works.

"Neo!" Astral cried out after she and Mouse broke their deep kiss. "Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?"

Their conversation wandered all over the map, but mostly Neo sat back and let the two youngsters enjoy their time with each other. He'd sit back and watch them talk and think about Trinity, and wonder if they'd ever have that.

Their waiter came back maybe half an hour later, setting their meals before them.

Even though he knew with every inch of his knowledge that it was all fake, it still seemed to tantalizing and real and Neo nearly slobbered at the sight. It had been so long since had eaten anything worthwhile, besides gruel. Eggy mush. Big bowl of snot.

"Will that be all, Mr. Anderson?" A familiar voice asked.

Mouse and Neo immediately looked up. Astral glanced at Mouse and up at the waiter, confused.

Then they were running. Running to keep one step ahead of the Agent, running for their respective lives, again. Neo pulled out his flip phone and demanded a way out, while Astral did the same for herself.

But you see, there are no winding roads in Tripoli. A tightly-built grid system made it so they couldn't lose the agent down lilting roads, and had to cross some buildings to get to the payphones that Tank and Zelazny pointed out for them.

They ended up in an alley, catching their breaths. Without a second thought, Mouse leapt to the nearby rooftop. He was about to keep running when he realized his companions weren't with him.

He crept to the ledge of the roof and saw both Astral and Neo staring up at him.

"Neo, please! Just grab her and jump!" He knew Astral had yet to make her first jump but Neo could do it now, he knew that. Everyone did.

"I.I can't Mouse. I'm just not ready yet."

"Oh, for," Mouse landed neatly on the ground and grabbed Astral by the waist, flying back up to the rooftop. "Yes you can. Come on!"

Neo set his jaw determinedly, and willed the reality around him to falter and fall. Next thing he knew he was landing clumsily on the roof, just as an agent rounded the corner of their alley.

And then they were running again. Mouse leapt easily over the rooftops, holding Astral to him like she was weightless, which she essentially was, while Neo did it a little more clumsily, a little fearfully. Each time it got easier, as he felt his reality become nothing more than his perception and his mind became the true master. So this is what it was like to move like Mouse, or Trinity. To know what was really real.

They ended up in another street, a payphone ringing a little ways down. They ran again, but everyone around them shifted into Agents. Mouse ran with Astral to the payphone and she stole a quick kiss on his cheek before disappearing. Mouse turned, waiting for it to ring again, and saw Neo being beaten by a group of Agents. Remembering Morpheus' lecture the last time something like this had happened, Mouse ran back towards his fallen comrade. He somehow managed to push one of the Agents off his friends and helped Neo up.

"Mouse, go right now!" Neo demanded as the Agents fell upon them again.

"Not without you," The boy struggled in the grasp of the agents. "You're the One, you have to go first,"

"Mouse, listen to me-"

"No, Neo, go!" Mouse frantically pushed Neo out of the pile of limbs and fists and fell again, struggling to breathe under the pressure in his lungs and swellings in his face.

Neo cast one last glance at his friend before disappearing.

Now all that was left was himself. Mouse tried valiantly to fight off the Agents but to no avail. What the hell do they want with me anyway? He managed to think in the slow blurring light as he tried to escape from the Agents.

"Leave him," One of the Agents spoke up. "He's not the anomaly,"

"But he's Morpheus' boy," Another said. Mouse used this temporary distraction to his advantage and aimed a kick directly at the crotch of the Agent who was holding him down. Then it was just a matter of running as fast as was possible and reaching the payphone in time.

--

In the relative safety of the Real World, Mouse awoke to a bloody mouth, a black eye, and a very livid Morpheus.

"What the hell were you trying to pull in there?"

"What? Huh?" Mouse was still trying to adjust to his surroundings. He wiped at his chin and gagged at the taste of his blood.

"You could have been killed! The next time Neo tells you to do something, you do it, do you understand?"

"But I was just.what?"

Morpheus stepped forward and wiped more blood from his young charge's face. "I never want you to go back into the Matrix without me, do you understand?"

With that, he turned to stalk out of the construct.

"Wait, Morpheus,"

Half expecting a tantrum, Morpheus patiently turned back.

"Look, I.I know I upset you, and I know you don't like me going into the Matrix to see Astral and stuff, but I was just doing what you asked. You told me never to leave Neo alone with Agents again and I didn't. And I don't think it's fair of you to be angry with me if you're not going to be clear about what you want."

Morpheus didn't respond.

"And why I listen to you anyway?" Came the characteristic anger. "It's not like you were ever honest with me."

Morpheus cast a look back at his charge, before walking off alone into the darkness of the ship.

Mouse wiped again at his mouth, wincing at the blood there. "Jesus fuck," He muttered.

--

Morpheus sat in the depression in his own bunk, staring blankly at an old book from the Before in his hands. Even his books didn't give him release now.

His thoughts kept straying to Mouse, the closest thing he'd ever have to a son. Sure, Tank would go on about how Morpheus was his father figure, but he didn't see Tank grow up. He didn't raise Tank. While Mouse's secret trysts with Astral iffed Morpheus, he still thought Astral was a fine girl and was happy for them. He just wished Mouse would talk to him about it sometimes.

But hell, he wouldn't want to talk to him either.

Morpheus closed the book and leaned back, sighing. He knew it was inevitable.

He was going to have to tell Mouse.

--

Tank came into the mess hall, a silly grin on his face.

"What's this about, then?" Switch asked as she looked over some newly- picked tomatoes.

"Morpheus is going to tell Mouse where he got him,"

"What?" Neo looked up from where he and Trinity were sitting, confused.

"In fact, he's going to take him in and show him." Tank grinned. "He just asked me to operate it."

"You know I've never even thought about this." Dozer said. "Mouse just was always there."

"Well this I have to see," Cypher threw in and the rest followed him down the dark corridor.

When they got to the construct, Mouse was sitting apprehensively on one of the terminals, staring intently at his left hand, like he usually did when he was bored or nervous. When the crew pushed their way through the doors, Morpheus stepped forward from where he had been leaning serenely and glared at them all.

Most of them avoided his gaze and fidgeting like schoolchildren, except Cypher, who was grinning like an idiot.

"I would have you all know that Tank is the only one welcome here. If Mouse wants any of the rest of you to know what he learns today, he can tell you himself. And none of you will ask,"

Neo shot a look at Mouse, who shrugged.

"Alright, Morpheus. We're sorry. Mouse," Trinity cast a small supportive smile at the boy and took Neo's arm. "Let's go," They eventually clambered out of the construct until it was only the three left.

Tank grinned at Mouse, who grinned back, and prepared for the operation. Morpheus touched Mouse's face tenderly.

"Mouse." he started. Mouse stared back, patiently. Eventually Morpehus leaned forward and planted a soft, soothing kiss on Mouse's forehead. Then he withdrew and crossed to his own terminal.

Mouse's brow furrowed in confusion. He loved Morpheus like a father and all, but he had never kissed him. Not that he remembered, anyway.

He didn't have much time to dwell on that until he found himself in the white room.

Morpheus stepped forward, dressed like he usually did in his elegant black suit and sunglasses. He smiled down at his charge, who was dressed similarly. It felt.different though.

"I had Tank put a buffer in," Morpheus explained. "You're no longer a projection of your metal self, but you have taken on the form the Matrix assigned to you years ago." He produced a small hand mirror as if from nowhere and handed it to Mouse. Reflected back was a teenaged boy, one very alien to Mouse. He had very Asian features, and shaggy black hair much longer than Mouse's.

"What the hell?" Mouse asked, more himself than anyone else.

"The Matrix doesn't care about a person's physiology in the real world when assigning roles." Morpheus smirked. "I myself grew up in Japan, so imagine my surprise when I came out black. In fact, some men are cast as women and some women cast as men, and they fit in perfectly in those roles until they come out."

Mouse cast a habitual glance at his right hand and started. "The fuck?"

He cradled his right hand tenderly, staring at it. Two disfigured stubs where his ring and pinky finger should have been. And it hurt, Jesus, it hurt like hell.

"You'll find out. I think you'll come to remember, too. Tank, upload to Mouse file TH645."

Mouse closed his eyes for a few seconds, and then blinked in confusion. "What was that?"

"Thai. You'll need it. Come."

Suddenly they were standing in sunlight, as artificial as the sunlight was in Tripoli, in a lush jungle somewhere. Off in the distance were a few huts, made from straw and clay and leaves.

"I have been searching for the One for many years before you were born, Mouse," Morpheus led him towards the huts. "I never thought I'd find him in a small, poor Thai village, but I found myself drawn here anyway. And it was here where I met a woman."

They stopped at the door of one such hut. Children ran past them, playing, not even casting a second glance at the two strangers. "I stayed many weeks here. I think I might have loved her. She didn't believe what I told her, it wasn't in her nature to. But I must have loved her. I even fell in love with her five-year-old son."

Mouse got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Even though he was only five, her son worked in the garment factory in the city not far from here. It's the curse of capitalism and communism alike; somebody always has to do the labour. And the cheapest way is poor children. One day he had an accident, and was beaten for it. I told her I could take him to a better world where he would be treated right and she gave him to me."

"So this was me, was it?" Mouse was about to be sick.

"Yes." Morpheus knocked on the hut door. "They often call very small children 'Little Mouse' or 'Little Rabbit', things like that. I was never told your real name."

The door opened and in the doorway stood a reasonably young, very down- trodden woman.

Jesus Christ, she must've been a kid when she had me, Mouse felt pangs of sympathy. The work-worn woman looked up at Morpheus in wonderment.

"Morpheus?" She spoke in a halting, clumsy speech. He smiled and greeted her in Thai, and hugged her gently to him.

"Supatra," He said, gently pushing Mouse forward. "This is Little Mouse. Just like I promised." He leaned down to his charge. "This is Supatra. Your mother."

Mouse stared at the care-worn face, the deep loving eyes that were brimming over with tears. Supatra smiled and reached out to touch his face, and she burst into tears. She cradled her son close to her gently, and he carefully put his arms around her.

"Mother?" He whispered, and tears trickled down his face and the pain in his hand intensified as the memories rushed back.

He was up before the break of dawn and drawing water from the well, his tiny legs scurrying as fast as they could to get the water to his sister. Sister was sick, and had been for a while, and Mother fretted over her night and day.

Mother and Sister worked in the same place, down the street from the woolen house where Little Mouse himself went everyday. His Mother often said he was lucky, that he only worked mornings, and the human rights groups paid for him to learn to read and write. He hadn't been doing very well lately ever since Sister got sick. Now he came home in the truck with the other woolen house children, sometimes nursing a new wound given to him by the attendant for some bad work he had done. He would spend the rest of the day gathering fire wood and watching over Sister until Mother came home. She would often come home beaten as bad as she, but in different places. It hurt Little Mouse to see her this way, but he was glad he had her. Some of the other children at the woolen house were sent there by their parents full time, and were kept in chains and sometimes branded with irons.

Little Mouse was very, very lucky.

Lately a stranger had been coming home with Mother, helping her walk and tending to her wounds and Sister, and he would tell Little Mouse to practice his reading. He was huge and dark but Little Mouse learned not to be afraid of him.

Sister was particularly sick the day he was taken away. He rode into town on the truck like he did every day, his mother holding him lovingly in her lap.

"Mother, why is my sister so sick?" AIDS, he had heard one of the doctors say. The doctors only came every now and then, and like the others, this one was pale and spoke strangely, and didn't seem to like the jungle very much. She cried when she looked at his Sister, and then she looked at him and smiled sadly and turned away and shook her head.

The older members of the village, the ones who didn't have to work in the city, shook their heads too and called it a curse, and said she brought it on herself with her evil ways.

Little Mouse didn't understand how sister could be so evil, since she was only eight and not much older than himself.

"The city men made her sick. The men that give us money for food."

"Have you ever been sick, Mother?"

His mother held him close and buried her face in his hair. "I have been sick before and I will probably be sick again, but I will never leave you, my Little Mouse."

Little Mouse always liked these times best, before he got to the woolen house. He hated the woolen house with a passion. All day long he had to sit at a machine in a row with other children and push cloth through a machine. It was boring and stupid and he would start to ache after a while. He got hungry but they wouldn't let him eat. He had to relieve himself but they wouldn't let him do that either. And then he got tired and sloppy and they would beat him. After his second beating that morning he was tired and hungry and he didn't notice his fingers straying towards the needle. His right little finger got caught and it punctured but the machine kept going. He screamed and he screamed but no one could stop the machine. It ate away at his fingers until the overseer finally pulled him out of it, yanking at his flesh even more. He wailed and wailed and clutched at his hand but nobody would help him. Instead, they beat him again for getting blood all over the fabric.

He woke up at home, his mother crying over him.

"Mother?" He asked timidly.

Mother gasped and gathered him into her arms and hugged him tightly. Watching over them was the big dark man that visited often.

"Mother, they.my hand." His hand was now sloppily bound with white cloth seeping with crimson. "They just.they kept beating me,"

"Shh, everything's alright now, my Little Mouse," She held him closer and rocked him softly.

"I'm sorry for bleeding on the cloth, Mother," He pleaded.

"It's alright, Little Mouse. I love you," She picked up her sobbing, writhing child. "You have to go with Morpheus,"

"What? Mother, I want to stay with you,"

"I know, my Little Mouse. But it is safer this way."

"But who will look after Sister?"

Mother smiled sadly at him, the way the doctors did. "Your sister died today, my Little Mouse. She's happy now. You will go with Morpheus, and you will be happy, too." She handed the shocked child to the big man, who held him tightly.

"No! No, mother, I want to stay! Please! I'll be good, I promise!" He fought and struggled against the big dark man's hold as he was carried away.

His Mother said nothing as she watched from the doorway of the tiny impoverished hut.

"No! No! Mother, please!" He continued to scream.

"It's alright, Mouse," The big man said in a voice that demanded respect. "Everything's going to be fine," At this Little Mouse managed to quiet down and sobbed into the huge man's chest.

They got to a jeep and he was handed to another man, this one pale and skinny, in the back.

"Jesus, Morph, is t'is who you was after talkin' 'bout?" The skinny man said. This alone made Little Mouse burst into tears, the strange language that he couldn't understand.

"Yes," Morpheus started to drive off.

"My Christ, Morph, he's just a bye!"

"I had to get him out of there, Jolix."

Jolix held Little Mouse closer as he screamed and cried. "And what're ye gonna say when he's after knowin' why he weren't given a choice?"

Morpheus glanced at Jolix in the mirror. "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it,"

"Oh, it's alright, little one," Jolix tried to soothe the child. "Here, have some chocolate, eh?" He broke off a bit of chocolate he got from his jacket pocket and the boy settled down.

The next thing Little Mouse remembered was being sleepily hooked up to a machine in the city, and waking up to a terrifying ride into freezing water.

--

Morpheus waited outside while Mouse and Supatra visited for what was going on to two hours now.

They mostly cried and hugged each other. Mouse explained to her that he was living with Morpheus and a band of pirates on a ship. It was the closest thing she could understand. She smiled and said it must be very exciting for him. He told her about Astral and Supatra nearly cried at the thought of having another daughter.

When he went to leave, they hugged again.

"I love you, my Little Mouse." Supatra whispered to him. "Never forget that."

" I won't, mother." He kissed her on the cheek. "I love you."

Morpheus was waiting for him when he came out. "Well?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Mouse shuffled towards his mentor.

"The nearest payphone is in a rest area about ten minutes from here. Do you think you can make it?"

"I.I think so. Can.can I hold your hand? It's just that I might."

Morpheus smiled patiently. "Of course you may, little one."

--

When they got into the real world, Mouse sat in his foster father's arms and cried for hours. Tank left them alone and didn't tell anyone what he had seen.

--

Mouse spent a few days moping around on his own, mostly in his room, sleeping or crying or in the throes of a nightmare. Nightmares he could understand now, with faces that he recognized. Nobody asked him about it or even broached the subject amongst themselves, for Tank's face would get stormy and he'd usually leave.

One day when Mouse was in his bunk, lying there, tear-stained and listless, Neo had come to his door. "Hey, Mouse, we've got a message for you from the Predator. From Astral,"

A small smile flickered across Mouse's features as he followed Neo down the corridor. He would tell Astral the next time he saw her in person. She would understand. She was the one who made him care in the first place. Before she came into the real world, when they would sit drinking or smoking up on the wall in Karrebaeksminde, watching trains go by. He was well- dressed, like Morpheus, then. She made fun of him. Mass produced branded clothes, she was disgusted.

He had asked what was wrong with them, and she snorted. No corporate empire should be built on the backs of children, she told him.

He stood in front of the flatscreen and opened his mail. He read it quickly, and what he saw there burned into his memory forever.

He closed the message and turned the screen off, and stared at it for a moment.

Neo glanced up at him from where he stood, waiting for him to say something.

"Jesus fuck," Mouse finally muttered, and fainted dead away.