Disclaimer: They're not mine, 'nuf said.
Comments: Um… let me see. Well it's more Baby Talk. For some reason I really like writing these, probably because it gives me the chance to write from all four POV's. Anyway, this second installment follows the same formula as the last one. Kaori-chan is slightly older in each section than she was in the corresponding sections in the first installment. If I write more of these that will be the case, she'll keep getting older. Let me see… oh yeah, and forgive my strange obsession with Omi and Aya-chan. For some reason this makes sense to me. They're both happy and spazmastic, so it works for me. And I apologize for the shortness of Ran-kun's section… but it just said all it needed to. Originally there was a totally different story there, but I didn't like it so it went away. If for some reason you want to read it let me know. Maybe I'll do… something with it. Anyway please R&R. I love comments! Bleh.
Oh and I forgot! Aya-kun calls Ken 'aité.' This literally means 'partner,' 'companion,' or 'team mate.' It doesn't technically have a romantic connotation, and he could legitimately call Omi and Youji the same thing and no one would bat an eye. The reason he calls him 'aité' is actually explained in another fic that I am still not happy with, so it isn't up anywhere. When my perfectionist is satisfied I'll post it.
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Happy Talk?
I stop to look out the window. A car drives by and the headlights momentarily brighten the room. The flash upsets the small bundle in my arms. She starts to fuss and spits out her bottle. I look down at her as she opens her tiny mouth in a blood curdling cry, little milk strings dribble out of her mouth. I wipe at the spittle idly with the corner of the towel I have over my shoulder.
"Ohhh, oh what a sound. What a big noise you make, Kaori-chan. What a big noise," I coo softly bouncing her gently in my arms. I rock her again, cradling her tiny body against my chest. It's got to be one-thirty AM and Kaori does not want to go back to sleep. I've been walking her up and down the living room for over half an hour. I sigh and go back to pacing.
I stick the tip of my finger in her mouth and she reflexively closes around it. She gums at it and sucks gently. "It's not going to work, Kaori-chan, sorry to have to tell you. Daddy might taste yummy, but there's nothing in there for you. But, hell, if it will make you go to sleep, you can chew on Daddy's finger till it's pruney."
My eyes are dry and tired; my nose is starting to itch. I want to rub them, but that would require having three arms, and although I consider myself a spry and coordinated individual, I'm not that talented. I hear a door open and click shut again softly. Bare feet on the carpet. I turn around slowly as Aya wanders sleepily into the living room. He stands with his hands on his hips, shirtless in those baggy flannel pajama bottoms that hang dangerously low on his hips. He blinks at me and yawns.
"Why are you up?" I ask softly, bouncing Kaori gently.
"I couldn't fall back asleep after you got up to walk her. I was waiting for you to come back to bed, but you didn't so I got up instead," he says huskily.
I smile weakly. I want to smile more, but I'm too tired. "She just won't go back to sleep. She's drunk half a bottle, and that's usually enough, but every time she drifts off she snaps back out of it. I've resorted to letting her eat my digits."
"Why don't you give her the pacifier?" he asks coming closer to us.
"She spit it out already," I sigh.
"Want me to do anything?"
"Yeah, for the love of God, would you scratch my nose?" I hiss wriggling my nose fiercely.
Aya chuckles softly and comes to me. "What if I just let you suffer?" he asks looking at me through hooded eyes.
"I'll leave you."
Aya's eyes open wide, but he's smiling. "No you wouldn't," he mumbles, reaching up to scratch the tip of my nose.
"Oh yeah, right there," I say. I flare my nostrils. When he's done he tweaks the tip of my nose and then runs his finger along my jaw line, tilting my face towards him. We kiss softly. I can smell his skin, sweet and tangy, drowsy like sleep. Kaori starts to cry around my finger. We pull apart and both sigh.
"Let me take her," Aya says gruffly.
I look up at him and furrow my brows, "Come on, koi, let me do this, she's almost asleep." Kaori hardly ever falls asleep for me. I can walk her all night, give her a bottle, sing to her, let her eat my finger and she'll just fuss and squirm. It must be because all I ever do with her during the day is throw her up in the air and play airplane. I have to face the facts. I'm the play Dad. I'll never be the comfort, sleepy time Dad, it's just not in the archetype cards for me. As soon as I give her to Aya she'll feel safe and secure and drop off into la la land.
"Aité*, if you want to be up all night fine, but if you'd like to come back to bed, with –me-," he says suggestively tugging on the strings of his flannel bottoms, "where it's warm and dark and quiet, I suggest you swallow you're fatherly pride and give Kaori-chan to me."
I grumble, but give in. I hand her over to Aya and give him the bottle. He hitches Kaori into his arms and starts to murmur to her in soft tones. She takes the bottle when he offers it and within moments she's finished the formula and fallen asleep. I sigh. "All my efforts wasted. Why do you even let me get up when she cries?"
"Because I hate making formula."
I glare at him. "Thanks."
"And because I love watching you hold her. You're so sexy when you're sincere," he murmurs to me, leaning over to kiss my face. I reach up, touching his arms.
"Well, when you put it that way, I almost forget my sleep deprivation."
He chuckles softly and we walk together into Kaori's room. Every time I walk into this room I get a rush. I gently touch his hip as I notice the yellow walls. "I love this room," I say.
"I know," he says gruffly, setting Kaori gently on her stomach in the crib. He touches her head softly, just brushing his fingertips along the super fine hair. I come up beside him and slip my arms around his thin waist. I kiss his shoulder. When I hear him sigh softly I continue along his collarbone. My hair tickles his neck and chin. I feel his hand run over my back. I stand up straight and peer down at our daughter.
"She's perfect, Ran, absolutely perfect," I whisper.
"Good ingredients," he says kissing my hair. "Let's go to bed before we wake her up."
"Good idea. If we stay here much longer I might succumb to the urge to fool around," I say, grinning.
Aya turns me in his arms so that we face each other. "I would feel violated if we fooled around in the same room where our infant slept."
"So would I, but sometimes you just make me so crazy," I hiss pinching his ass.
He jumps slightly and looks at me with wide eyes. "Let's go to bed."
I squeeze him closer and then pull away taking his hand and leading him out into the hallway. He pauses to leave the door ajar and then follows me down the hallway. He squeezes my hand. We are almost to our door when I stop and remember that I left a mess on the counter when I made the formula. I release his hand and turn back down the hallway. He reaches after me and grabs my arm.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asks gruffly turning me around. I can see what he wants in his eyes. It excites me; I love it when Aya looks at me like that. Like he wants me, like he needs me.
I pull away again even though I'd like to just go with him now. I smile and turn around, heading for the kitchen. "I left the formula out on the counter. If I leave it till morning Youji will think it's creamer and put it in his coffee again. He got seriously pissed last time. Just go get in bed, I'll be there in a minute," I say laughing.
"I don't want you in a minute," Aya grumbles, "I want you now!" He comes after me and grabs me roughly, picking me up off the ground. I kick at the air and laugh.
"Argh! Ran, come on I've got to clean up! Set me down," I say as he leans back. He keeps leaning back until my legs flip up over my head, "Hey!" and the next thing I know I'm flipping over completely and landing on my feet behind him. Now I'm dizzy. He lets me go and straightens up, turning around before I can get my bearings. He ducks and pick me up on his shoulder fireman style. I dangle over his shoulder, feeling rather queezy and then start to pound his back with my fists.
"Ran! This is ridiculous! I'm too heavy for you to carry around and I can't breathe!" I cry incredulously. "Argh! Put me down."
"No."
"Ran Fujimaya, put me down!" I cry.
"Hush, aité," he says walking back towards our room. Both Youji and Omi come out of their rooms. I can see them because I'm facing the opposite direction we are going. I press the heels of my hands into Aya's back and push myself upwards so that I can see them better.
"Oh, that's real cute you two," Youji drawls.
Omi is blushing and laughing behind his hand. "Really dignified, Ken-kun."
Aya turns around almost whacking my head against the wall. Now all I can see is the dark end of the hallway and I start to blush, realizing that my ass is sticking up in the air in nothing but my boxers. I kick my legs. "Put me down," I growl.
"What do you two want?" Aya asks.
"Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd come out and see why Ken was screaming like a girl, and ask that you guys play your kinky sex games somewhere other than the hallway. Some of us are trying to sleep, you know," Youji says. "By the, way, real cute, Kenken."
"Shut-up!" I snap. I struggle again but Aya only clamps his arm down around my legs even harder.
"Yeah," Omi says, "You're going to wake up the baby."
A thin wail comes from down the hall. "Too late," he amends.
"Great, job, koi. Now we're back to square one!" I say. It's getting harder to breathe and my ribs hurt. "Would you put me down now?!"
Aya shifts my weight, but doesn't loosen his grip. He's thinking.
Omi giggles and waves at us. I can see him because I'm peering upside down through the gap between Aya's arm and his body. "You guys go ahead and … er… do your thing. I'll take care of Kaori-chan. She always sleeps for me."
Youji rolls his eyes. "I'm going back to bed."
"The formula is on the counter, Omi-kun. If she seems hungry," Aya says turning around. We walk back down the hall.
"Thanks a lot, Omi-kun," I say sarcastically.
He waves at me and starts to giggle again. "Anything for you, Ken." He looks so frumpy in his over sized sweatshirt. That boy needs the fashion police. I shake my head as Aya whips me into our room and then throws me onto the bed. I admit it, I scream like a girl.
I hit the bed with a thump. I feel the air rush from my lungs and barely have enough time to gasp a fraction of it back before Aya is sucking it away again. He's suddenly all over me. The door is closed, when did he have time to do that? I feel his hands snake up under my shirt and I shiver. I tangle my hands in his red hair; I love the way it feels between my fingers, so fine and cool.
He pulls away from me slightly, just enough so that we can look into each other's eyes. He smiles distantly and pulls one of his hands out of my shirt so that he can caress my face. We don't say anything. We don't have to. He nuzzles my neck and whimpers softly against my skin. I kiss his hair. He acts tough, but he's such a softy. He likes to be gentle. He likes the little touches, the soft kisses, the sharing. Don't get me wrong, Aya can be a hellcat when he wants to be, more like when I want him to be, but he prefers it this way. He prefers making love to fucking. But then so do I.
I push on his shoulders gently turning him over so that now I'm on top. He looks up at me with hooded eyes. "Aité…."
I kiss him deeply, slowly. Now his hands are in my hair. I sigh into him. When we pull apart I start to nip at his neck. He moans softly and rubs my back.
"Good thing tomorrow's Sunday," he whispers. I just chuckle and silently agree. There's nothing as beautiful as a closed shop.
* * * * *
I'm all alone in the house. Youji is wooing his newest flame, Rikuko Ninomiya, and probably won't be back until tomorrow morning… make that tomorrow afternoon. Ken is away with his soccer kids at the regional competition. And Aya… er, Ran, rather… I suppose…. Argh, I'm never going to get it through my head, oh well. Anyway –Ran- decided to go and visit Aya-chan in Tokyo as long as Ken was away. -Ran- is always worrying that she is being molested by lecherous college boys. Somehow I don't think Aya-chan in the sort of person who lets herself get molested by young men. Not that I can really say, because all in all I don't really know her that well…. Wish I had gotten to know her better; she seemed very nice… very un-Aya-kun. But now I'm just letting my mind wander.
I can't do that, because I'm not really –all- alone. Kaori is here with me. That's right I get to be baby-sitter for the weekend! I'm so excited. I love Kaori-chan. I love the way she wiggles and the way she spits food at me. I don't know why, I just do. She's so little and precious, even when she refuses to eat anything and throws her spaghetti-o's all around the kitchen.
I don't really play with her much when the others are here. I mean Aya… er Ran, rather, and Ken both want to be with her all the time, and she actually demands to be held by Youji, so I usually only take her when she's given to me, or when I know I'm being helpful. Not that I wouldn't love to play with her all the time, but she's not my baby. The others were so surprised when I offered to take care of her this weekend. Aya (I'm just giving up, he's Aya in my head) was really skeptical at first. He really didn't want to leave Kaori-chan. It was actually Youji who came to my defense, if you can call it that.
"Come on, Fujimaya, Omi's great with the little Tater-tot," he'd said, "He may not always ask to hold her or whatever, but give the kid some credit. He's a part of this little family of ours all the same; so just leave the little princess with Uncle Omi. I'm not going to be responsible for her; I've got plans."
Aya finally gave in. He'd been surprised when I already knew all the things he told me about changing diapers and cooking frozen peas and baby food. My efforts are usually under appreciated, but I just smile and try not to mind. "I've got it covered, Aya-kun."
He'd raised his eyebrow and glared at me. "Er, Ran-kun," I'd amended.
Now I've got the music up and the TV on and little Kaori tucked into her highchair. It's strained carrots time! I dance towards her with a spoonful of orangish mush in one hand and the jar the orangish mush came out of in the other. "Hey there, Kaori-hime. Look what I've got! That's right, it's baby food," I cry. I put the spoon in front of her mouth and she patiently opens up and sticks her tongue out slightly. I put the mush into her mouth and she closes it around the plastic coated spoon. I catch a little dribble and then a lot of dribble as she decides she doesn't like strained carrots and spits out the mouthful with an unceremonious "Bleh."
I glare at her sternly and raise and eyebrow. I'm trying to look like Aya- kun does when he wants Kaori to eat. She stares back at me passively, and then suddenly erupts into a burble of uncontained joy. She smiles and squints up her eyes. "Eeeeyaaa!" she squeals. "Bleh, bablppel, shoooththppp."
I can't help it, I laugh out loud. She responds by laughing back. "Oh, Kaori-chan," I say giggling, "you are so cute!" I hold up a new spoonful of strained carrots. "Now eat this."
She stops laughing and glares at me sternly. I realized that she has managed to look more like Aya-kun than I ever could. She's got those narrow, intense eyes of his. Even as a one year old she can glare like Aya. I wonder if this bodes well.
"Oh, come –on-, Kao-chan. You've got to eat something! Would you rather eat left over Mac and Cheese? Or some of the edamame I made earlier? You like soybeans, right?"
She raspberries at me. I turn around to get some of the aforementioned Mac and Cheese and the edamame as well. Maybe if I make a plate for her she'll just eat it on her own. Granted she'll make a mess, but I'd rather clean up the mess than have a staring contest with her over orangeish mush. I make the plate, humming along with the music playing in the living room. As I set it down on the tray of her high chair the phone rings.
I expect it to be Youji calling to say he won't be home tonight, so when I pick it up I say, "Moshi moshi, Omi Tsukiyono's Palace of Love."
There is a light, feminine laugh at the other end of the line. "Oh really? How do I sign up for services?"
I can feel my cheeks turning bright red. I nearly choke on my own tongue. "Oh, h-hi, Aya-chan…." I say. I'm so embarrassed.
"So, do I need a membership, or is this a free trial?"
"Oh, ha ha, I was just… joking.. y-you know, ha," I stammer.
"You are funny, Omi-san," she says.
"You don't have to call me 'san,'" I say, trying to collect my dignity.
"Well, I figure since you –are- older than I am, I should try to be respectful," she says. There's a tease in her voice.
"Well, no one else does, so it's ok."
"If you insist, Omi-chan."
I nearly drop the phone. I can tell that Aya-chan is just teasing me, but still, I get flustered so easily. It's hard for me to connect the girl on the other end of the phone to the Aya Fujimaya I know.
"Anyway, I was calling to ask what time Ran left. He's not here yet, and I was starting to worry," she says.
Finally something rational to talk about. "Oh," I say, "Well, he left this afternoon, so he should be there in not too long. I wouldn't worry, Aya, I mean he has the cell phone. If something was wrong he'd call."
"Yeah, unless he's in a burning heap of twisted metal somewhere."
The image of Aya-kun lying in a twisted heap of burning metal is too much for me to take. "That's a terrible thing to say!" I cry.
"Sorry. I'm just being morbid. It runs in the family," she responds and laughs hollowly.
"Like I said, I'm sure he's fine," I repeat.
There is a space of dead air time. I wonder if I should say good-bye or not. Just as I'm getting up the nerve to cut off our conversation Aya-chan speaks up again. "So what are you doing, Omi; how's Kaori?"
"Um," I say putting the phone in the crook of my neck so that both my hands are free, "Right now she's being fed. At least I'm –trying- to feed Kaori- chan. She rejected the strained carrots I tried to give her. Right now she's making a mess of some macaroni and soybeans. I don't think she's eaten any of it, but she has made an interesting greenish-yellow paste."
Aya-chan laughs. "Sounds exciting. Wish I could be there."
I laugh a little. "I don't think so. No one else is here. It would just be you and me and Kaori-chan."
"Hm. I'll have to come visit you guys in Kyoto sometime, and then we can hang out."
"Yeah, that'd be fun. How are you enjoying your classes?"
"You know, they're just classes. Some are fun and others are not. It's a lot like high school, minus the uniforms."
"Uh-huh." I look over at Kaori-chan just to make sure she isn't choking or something. I walk closer and squat down so that I can smile at her. She throws a good handful of macaroni and soy paste at my head. It hits me square between the eyes. "Argh!"
"What happened?"
"Oh nothing," I say wiping the glop away with a paper towel. "Kaori-chan decided my face needed some improving. Thanks a lot, Kaori." She squeals at me and tosses another handful to the floor. I sigh.
"Oh, poor Omi-san," Aya-chan says. "Well, I guess I should let you go."
"Yeah," I sigh. I like talking to Aya-chan.
"Ok, well have a good… oh, wait, I think Ran's here. Hi, Ran!" I hear her cry over the phone. I can hear Aya-kun's voice saying something. It must have been, 'who's on the phone' because next I hear Aya-chan say, "Oh, no one. Just the phone-sex guy."
I splutter. Aya-kun must have responded much the same way because I can hear Aya-chan laughing gleefully.
"Ok, ok, I'm coming, Ran-kun. Well, it's been fun. Thanks for all the great… talk, Omi-chan."
"Bye," I say laughing. Before Aya-chan hangs up the phone I hear Aya-kun say, "Omi-chan?!" Then there is just a click and dead air. I hang up the phone and turn back to Kaori.
She's actually eaten some of her dinner. "Ummy!" she says.
"I'm glad," I say smiling. I lift her out of the high chair and wipe off her mouth and toss her bib into 'dirty bib' bag. She puts her grubby hands on my cheeks and smears them around. I sigh. "What is it about me that says 'rub my face in the dirt' to women?"
She looks up at me with very serious eyes and sticks her tongue half way out.
"It was almost convincing, Kao-chan. If you'd just left your tongue in your mouth, I'd have believed you cared," I say. I don't know why I'm suddenly so tired. Sometimes things just seem so out of whack. Ken and Aya-kun have each other, Youji has half the female population of Japan, and I have… no one. A rather sad and very self-pitying thing to think, but it's true. My last romantic foray was none too successful. I shudder at the memory. Why do I always get stuck with the vicious girls who like to call me cute, beat me up, and try to molest me? Ken says the sensitive guy thing drives women crazy. But my problem is that I really am a sensitive guy, and the –last- thing I want is a crazy woman.
I sigh. Oh well. "You won't treat me like crap and walk all over me, will you, Kao-chan?" I coo. She says something that sounds a lot like "mibble- ppplsh."
"Thanks, Kaori," I smile. I squeeze her gently and rub her little back. "I love you, Kao-chan. Now let's get you all cleaned up and watch some TV. I think we can still catch the Rurouni Kenshin rerun block if we hurry."
* * * * *
"Hey! Hey, Ken, don't let him eat that!" I cry sitting up on the grass.
He looks over at me quizzically and I jab a finger in the general direction of Kaori-chan who is about to stuff a nice fist full of grass and dirt into my son's mouth. Ken follows my finger and then jumps up, rushing over to the where the kids are playing.
"No, no, Kaori-chan! No feeding Kenji dirt," he says in exasperation slapping her hand lightly so she drops it. She looks up at him and glares intensely. "Yeah, that only works with your Father."
"No fair!" she cries. "Kenji wanted to eat it. He told me so."
"And I suppose you're psychic, seeing as Kenji-kun is only one and a half years old and his vocabulary consists of 'Dada' and 'ize-cweem.'"
Kaori is unfazed by sarcasm. She'd have to be, being raised by us. She just sticks out her bottom lip and as it starts to quiver she cries, "I want my Papa!" Then come the theatrics, the waterworks. I can't believe that crap actually fazes Ken. He's got a major parental inferiority complex when it comes to Aya, and Kaori plays it up. She's got both of them by the balls. "I want… my… Papa!" she hiccups between sobs.
Ken gets flustered and tries to pick her up, but she just keeps crying and pushes him away. "I… want… my…PAPA!!"
This time Aya looks up from where he's been reading in the sun. He notices that Kaori is crying and snaps the book shut. "Ken, what's wrong with Kaori?" he asks.
Ken shrugs in exasperation. "Nothing. I just told her not to feed Kenji- kun dirt and suddenly I'm a bad guy."
She looks balefully over at Aya and starts crying double time. "I… want… *hic*… my Papa!"
Aya stands and walks over to her briskly he picks her up in his arms and lets her sob on his shoulder. "Daddy's mean," she wails.
"God, Ken, what did you say to her?"
Ken gets up quickly. "Nothing! I told you all I did was tell her not to feed Kenji dirt. And she got lippy and when I wouldn't back down she turned on the water works and screamed for you. Suddenly I'm an ass-hole, because you've spoiled her," he snaps.
"Watch you language, Ken!" Aya growls.
I roll my eyes. I should probably get my son out from beneath their manly tirade. I stand up and walk slowly past them and stoop to pick up my son. He smiles at me and holds out his arms. "Up!"
"Yeah, up it is, Stink-bomb. I don't want you to be squashed beneath the festering exchange of your uncles' pleasantries." I scoop him up and sling him over my shoulder. I could kill for a smoke, but I promised myself I wouldn't smoke around Kenji or Kaori, so I'm gonna have to tough it out.
"I've spoiled her?! That's a laugh, Ken. If she doesn't listen to you it's only because you enable it," Aya growls.
"No, Ran, it's because –you- enable it! And the proof is right there crying on
–your- shoulder," Ken says between his teeth. Aya really doesn't understand how Ken feels about this. I can tell. I've been watching lately.
Kaori-chan's eyes are bigger than dinner plates. She's gotten herself into more than she bargained for. She hates it when Aya and Ken fight. Oh well, maybe this will teach her. But still I feel sorry for the little Tater-tot.
"Hey, hey, hey," I say stepping in between them. "I don't think you two need to be having this type of discussion in front of your daughter, so why don't you giver her to me," I say lifting her out of Aya's arms, "and you two go and discuss this somewhere else. Like over by the pond." I point.
They both look at me for a moment and then Ken grabs Aya's arm and steers him away without another word.
"Come on, kids, whatcha' say we find Uncle Omi and Aunt Aya and get some ice cream?"
"Ize-cweem!" Kenji screams and then begins to drool on himself. Kaori looks after Ken and Aya and then nods slowly.
"Uncle Youji?" she says timidly as I turn and head off towards the center of the park.
"Yeah, Tater-tot?"
"Do you think my daddies are really mad at me?"
I pause for emphasis, so it seems like I'm thinking. "Well, Kaori," I use her name to make my point seem serious, "I don't think your daddies are mad at you, but they are mad at each other –because- of you."
She thinks about this for a minute. "But…."
"But what? Do you think that Ken was trying to be mean when he told you not to feed Kenji dirt?"
"Um…."
"'Cause Kenji is my son, and I don't want you to feed him dirt either. Would you have done what you did if I'd been the one who asked you not to do it?"
She ponders for a moment. I can tell her little four year-old wheels are turning a mile a minute. "No."
"Then why did you pretend to cry and tell Ran that Ken had been mean to you? That wasn't very nice, because Ken wasn't being mean and you got Ran really mad at him."
"Well… I wanted Papa to be mad at Daddy, because I was mad at Daddy. And Papa always takes my side, so I wanted Daddy to feel bad about telling me no, so I called to Papa."
I reflect on the fact that the most beautiful, brutally honest relationship I have is with a four year-old and then go on. "But Ken wasn't wrong to tell you no."
"I know, but –he- isn't supposed to tell me no. Papa can say no, but Daddy should just play with me and make me happy. That's why I don't listen to Daddy, so that he'll learn not to tell me no."
I think about how twisted Kaori's mind is. "I don't think that you can teach your Daddy not to tell you no. And acting like that makes you spoiled."
"Ok, Uncle Youji. I'll try not to try to get attention from Papa when Daddy tells me no."
I shrug. "Ah, no you won't, but that's because you're four. Just as long as you know it makes everyone very sad when you make your daddies mad at each other."
"Ok."
We've reached the center of the park where all the paths converge into a paved pavilion with a hideous fountain in the center. I shudder. I look around and there in one of the slivers of sun-drenched grass are the objects of our search. Omi and Aya-chan are sitting on yoga mats ignoring the world around them. Omi's actually got one of his legs wrapped around his neck and Aya-chan is stretched out flat with her legs straight up in the air. I shake my head. Yoga is their newest 'together activity.' "At least they gave up on the ball-room dancing."
It's been interesting ever since Omi and Aya-chan became an official 'item.' Not only has Aya-kun developed a nervous tick that kicks in every time he sees them together, but Aya-chan moved back in… she sleeps in Kaori- chan's room. I'm beginning to wonder why Kritiker lets her stay with us… I suppose it's because she already knows everything anyway, and they do kinda owe her one, seeing as she's the only reason Aya-kun works for them. Oh the twisted ways the world works.
"There they are kids," I say smiling. "You wanna go and tell em we're getting ice cream, Tater-tot?"
"Yeah!" Kaori cries. I set her down. She streaks across the grass with the energy that only a four year old has. She reaches Omi and jumps onto his back. He snaps out of his yoga trance with a painful cry. That leg over the head thing must not seem like such a good idea just now. He tries to untangle himself as she wraps her arms around his neck and starts to babble happily about ice cream. Aya-chan opens her eyes, sits up, and reaches over to try and get Omi's leg down before Kaori can pop it out of joint. She succeeds, but I can hear Omi saying "Itai! Itai!"
As I saunter up with Kenji-kun, Aya-chan is lifting Kaori off Omi's back and sitting her down in her lap. Omi looks up at me, rubbing his hip joint. "I should have known you'd be the one putting her up to this."
Aya-chan is giggling behind her hand.
"Hey, I just told her to tell you guys we were getting ice cream. I never said, 'go jump on Uncle Omi's back,' she did that by herself."
"Yeah, come on Uncle Omi and Auntie Aya, we're gonna get some ice cream! Let's go!"
"Ok, ok, Kao-chan," Aya says setting her down on the grass. She stands up and reaches out her hands towards Omi to help him. He wobbles slightly and stretches. Aya stoops to pick up their yoga blankets.
"Uncle Omi can I ride on your shoulders?!" Kaori asks loudly.
"Gee I don't know, Kaori-chan, you really hurt my leg," he says teasingly. He's about to pick her up when we hear:
"Youji! I've been all over this damned park looking for you."
I turn around and see Rikuko, my ex-wife, storming towards us. She looks pissed. "Hi, Rikuko, nice to see you too. What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?! Youji, you were supposed to meet me with Kenji ready to go in the parking lot –half and hour- ago!"
I look down at my watch. Shit, she's right. Kenji squeals in my arms, "Mama."
"Wow, it's already that late, huh? Guess I lost track of time, sorry about that, Riku. We were about to get some ice cream, you wanna join us for a cone, I'll treat," I say brightly trying to make the best of a bad situation.
"No, Youji, I don't have time. I was supposed to drop Kenji off at my mother's fifteen minutes ago so that I could get to my committee meeting on time."
"You mother's?! Why the hell couldn't you just leave him with me?" I snap.
"Because she's his grandmother, and she likes to spend time with him too," she says testily.
"I'm his father, Rikuko! You don't think I like to spend time with him? That bag already gets to see him ten times more than I do!"
"I don't have time for this, Kudou. Just give him to me," she says taking him from my arms roughly. She glares at me. "I'm assuming his things are in your jeep. I saw it in the parking lot. Give me the keys, I'll put them under your seat."
I'm so pissed I can't even say anything. I dig in my pocket and drop my keys into her hand. "What if it gets stolen?" I ask sarcastically.
"I'll buy you a new one. Thanks for being so responsible, Youji. It's so refreshing." She turns and stalks off with my son. He waves to me over her shoulder. I wave back. I feel like crying, but Youji Kudou doesn't cry… at least not in front of girls. I should have just done like Ken and Aya-kun and married another member of Weiss… of course that only left Omi, but it still would probably have been easier than this.
I feel Omi's hand on my shoulder. He understands somehow. He squeezes gently and I turn to him and Kaori. "Hey, tell you what, Kaori-chan," I croak. "How about you ride on my shoulders?"
* * * * *
I like the sound of the waves. In and out, steady, soothing. I grip my daughter's hand tightly. My other hand is in my pocket; we walk slowly. Ken holds her other hand in his and we swing her back and forth between us. She giggles happily. Her dark hair flies out around her as she flies through the air. I smile softly.
"Higher!" she cries delightedly. We swing her higher. I wonder if other people look at us. I wonder what they see, what they think. I wonder, but I don't care. Maybe I used to, but not any more. With them I am complete.
I see other little girls on the beach. Little girls in yellow sundresses and floral prints. Straw hats. Sugar and spice and everything nice. Kaori is not one of those little girls. She wears navy-blue shorts and a faded, hooded t-shirt with racing stripes down the sleeves. She shops with Ken. Our little tomboy. But what else should I expect? Omi wove baby's breath and daisies into her barrettes this morning, but they are falling out now.
"Here, let me go," she says. We release her hands and she jumps forward into the sand and races joyously down the beach into a flock of seagulls. They scream angrily at her and fly up into the sky in a flurry of white wings. She dances beneath them, spinning and laughing, watching them spiral upwards until she falls over and lies smiling on the sand. Ken looks over at me rather timidly and reaches out his hand. I take it and lace my fingers through his. He laughs into the sky and brushes against me. I smile and squeeze his hand.
We walk towards our daughter. He lets go of my hand and rushes forward scooping her up and tossing her into the air. He catches her again and she screams in fear and delight. He starts to tickle her, kissing her face. She screams and kicks until her sets her down and she dodges away from him laughing. He chases after her, but she's fast. She ducks and dodges him and then turns the tables by tackling his legs. They both go down.
She crawls up onto his chest and starts to tickly his ribs. Ken's ticklish. He laughs fiercely and then picks her up around the waist, holding her above him and arms length. They both smile at each other and laugh. He lowers her a little so that they can Eskimo kiss. They rub noses, happy to be together.
I stand apart and watch all this. Here there are no missions, no people to kill, no responsibilities to think about. Nothing to feel guilty about later. Just the quiet of the ocean, the music of seagulls, and everything I care about, laughing. I run a hand through my hair and then walk forward towards my utopia.
Comments: Um… let me see. Well it's more Baby Talk. For some reason I really like writing these, probably because it gives me the chance to write from all four POV's. Anyway, this second installment follows the same formula as the last one. Kaori-chan is slightly older in each section than she was in the corresponding sections in the first installment. If I write more of these that will be the case, she'll keep getting older. Let me see… oh yeah, and forgive my strange obsession with Omi and Aya-chan. For some reason this makes sense to me. They're both happy and spazmastic, so it works for me. And I apologize for the shortness of Ran-kun's section… but it just said all it needed to. Originally there was a totally different story there, but I didn't like it so it went away. If for some reason you want to read it let me know. Maybe I'll do… something with it. Anyway please R&R. I love comments! Bleh.
Oh and I forgot! Aya-kun calls Ken 'aité.' This literally means 'partner,' 'companion,' or 'team mate.' It doesn't technically have a romantic connotation, and he could legitimately call Omi and Youji the same thing and no one would bat an eye. The reason he calls him 'aité' is actually explained in another fic that I am still not happy with, so it isn't up anywhere. When my perfectionist is satisfied I'll post it.
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Happy Talk?
I stop to look out the window. A car drives by and the headlights momentarily brighten the room. The flash upsets the small bundle in my arms. She starts to fuss and spits out her bottle. I look down at her as she opens her tiny mouth in a blood curdling cry, little milk strings dribble out of her mouth. I wipe at the spittle idly with the corner of the towel I have over my shoulder.
"Ohhh, oh what a sound. What a big noise you make, Kaori-chan. What a big noise," I coo softly bouncing her gently in my arms. I rock her again, cradling her tiny body against my chest. It's got to be one-thirty AM and Kaori does not want to go back to sleep. I've been walking her up and down the living room for over half an hour. I sigh and go back to pacing.
I stick the tip of my finger in her mouth and she reflexively closes around it. She gums at it and sucks gently. "It's not going to work, Kaori-chan, sorry to have to tell you. Daddy might taste yummy, but there's nothing in there for you. But, hell, if it will make you go to sleep, you can chew on Daddy's finger till it's pruney."
My eyes are dry and tired; my nose is starting to itch. I want to rub them, but that would require having three arms, and although I consider myself a spry and coordinated individual, I'm not that talented. I hear a door open and click shut again softly. Bare feet on the carpet. I turn around slowly as Aya wanders sleepily into the living room. He stands with his hands on his hips, shirtless in those baggy flannel pajama bottoms that hang dangerously low on his hips. He blinks at me and yawns.
"Why are you up?" I ask softly, bouncing Kaori gently.
"I couldn't fall back asleep after you got up to walk her. I was waiting for you to come back to bed, but you didn't so I got up instead," he says huskily.
I smile weakly. I want to smile more, but I'm too tired. "She just won't go back to sleep. She's drunk half a bottle, and that's usually enough, but every time she drifts off she snaps back out of it. I've resorted to letting her eat my digits."
"Why don't you give her the pacifier?" he asks coming closer to us.
"She spit it out already," I sigh.
"Want me to do anything?"
"Yeah, for the love of God, would you scratch my nose?" I hiss wriggling my nose fiercely.
Aya chuckles softly and comes to me. "What if I just let you suffer?" he asks looking at me through hooded eyes.
"I'll leave you."
Aya's eyes open wide, but he's smiling. "No you wouldn't," he mumbles, reaching up to scratch the tip of my nose.
"Oh yeah, right there," I say. I flare my nostrils. When he's done he tweaks the tip of my nose and then runs his finger along my jaw line, tilting my face towards him. We kiss softly. I can smell his skin, sweet and tangy, drowsy like sleep. Kaori starts to cry around my finger. We pull apart and both sigh.
"Let me take her," Aya says gruffly.
I look up at him and furrow my brows, "Come on, koi, let me do this, she's almost asleep." Kaori hardly ever falls asleep for me. I can walk her all night, give her a bottle, sing to her, let her eat my finger and she'll just fuss and squirm. It must be because all I ever do with her during the day is throw her up in the air and play airplane. I have to face the facts. I'm the play Dad. I'll never be the comfort, sleepy time Dad, it's just not in the archetype cards for me. As soon as I give her to Aya she'll feel safe and secure and drop off into la la land.
"Aité*, if you want to be up all night fine, but if you'd like to come back to bed, with –me-," he says suggestively tugging on the strings of his flannel bottoms, "where it's warm and dark and quiet, I suggest you swallow you're fatherly pride and give Kaori-chan to me."
I grumble, but give in. I hand her over to Aya and give him the bottle. He hitches Kaori into his arms and starts to murmur to her in soft tones. She takes the bottle when he offers it and within moments she's finished the formula and fallen asleep. I sigh. "All my efforts wasted. Why do you even let me get up when she cries?"
"Because I hate making formula."
I glare at him. "Thanks."
"And because I love watching you hold her. You're so sexy when you're sincere," he murmurs to me, leaning over to kiss my face. I reach up, touching his arms.
"Well, when you put it that way, I almost forget my sleep deprivation."
He chuckles softly and we walk together into Kaori's room. Every time I walk into this room I get a rush. I gently touch his hip as I notice the yellow walls. "I love this room," I say.
"I know," he says gruffly, setting Kaori gently on her stomach in the crib. He touches her head softly, just brushing his fingertips along the super fine hair. I come up beside him and slip my arms around his thin waist. I kiss his shoulder. When I hear him sigh softly I continue along his collarbone. My hair tickles his neck and chin. I feel his hand run over my back. I stand up straight and peer down at our daughter.
"She's perfect, Ran, absolutely perfect," I whisper.
"Good ingredients," he says kissing my hair. "Let's go to bed before we wake her up."
"Good idea. If we stay here much longer I might succumb to the urge to fool around," I say, grinning.
Aya turns me in his arms so that we face each other. "I would feel violated if we fooled around in the same room where our infant slept."
"So would I, but sometimes you just make me so crazy," I hiss pinching his ass.
He jumps slightly and looks at me with wide eyes. "Let's go to bed."
I squeeze him closer and then pull away taking his hand and leading him out into the hallway. He pauses to leave the door ajar and then follows me down the hallway. He squeezes my hand. We are almost to our door when I stop and remember that I left a mess on the counter when I made the formula. I release his hand and turn back down the hallway. He reaches after me and grabs my arm.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asks gruffly turning me around. I can see what he wants in his eyes. It excites me; I love it when Aya looks at me like that. Like he wants me, like he needs me.
I pull away again even though I'd like to just go with him now. I smile and turn around, heading for the kitchen. "I left the formula out on the counter. If I leave it till morning Youji will think it's creamer and put it in his coffee again. He got seriously pissed last time. Just go get in bed, I'll be there in a minute," I say laughing.
"I don't want you in a minute," Aya grumbles, "I want you now!" He comes after me and grabs me roughly, picking me up off the ground. I kick at the air and laugh.
"Argh! Ran, come on I've got to clean up! Set me down," I say as he leans back. He keeps leaning back until my legs flip up over my head, "Hey!" and the next thing I know I'm flipping over completely and landing on my feet behind him. Now I'm dizzy. He lets me go and straightens up, turning around before I can get my bearings. He ducks and pick me up on his shoulder fireman style. I dangle over his shoulder, feeling rather queezy and then start to pound his back with my fists.
"Ran! This is ridiculous! I'm too heavy for you to carry around and I can't breathe!" I cry incredulously. "Argh! Put me down."
"No."
"Ran Fujimaya, put me down!" I cry.
"Hush, aité," he says walking back towards our room. Both Youji and Omi come out of their rooms. I can see them because I'm facing the opposite direction we are going. I press the heels of my hands into Aya's back and push myself upwards so that I can see them better.
"Oh, that's real cute you two," Youji drawls.
Omi is blushing and laughing behind his hand. "Really dignified, Ken-kun."
Aya turns around almost whacking my head against the wall. Now all I can see is the dark end of the hallway and I start to blush, realizing that my ass is sticking up in the air in nothing but my boxers. I kick my legs. "Put me down," I growl.
"What do you two want?" Aya asks.
"Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd come out and see why Ken was screaming like a girl, and ask that you guys play your kinky sex games somewhere other than the hallway. Some of us are trying to sleep, you know," Youji says. "By the, way, real cute, Kenken."
"Shut-up!" I snap. I struggle again but Aya only clamps his arm down around my legs even harder.
"Yeah," Omi says, "You're going to wake up the baby."
A thin wail comes from down the hall. "Too late," he amends.
"Great, job, koi. Now we're back to square one!" I say. It's getting harder to breathe and my ribs hurt. "Would you put me down now?!"
Aya shifts my weight, but doesn't loosen his grip. He's thinking.
Omi giggles and waves at us. I can see him because I'm peering upside down through the gap between Aya's arm and his body. "You guys go ahead and … er… do your thing. I'll take care of Kaori-chan. She always sleeps for me."
Youji rolls his eyes. "I'm going back to bed."
"The formula is on the counter, Omi-kun. If she seems hungry," Aya says turning around. We walk back down the hall.
"Thanks a lot, Omi-kun," I say sarcastically.
He waves at me and starts to giggle again. "Anything for you, Ken." He looks so frumpy in his over sized sweatshirt. That boy needs the fashion police. I shake my head as Aya whips me into our room and then throws me onto the bed. I admit it, I scream like a girl.
I hit the bed with a thump. I feel the air rush from my lungs and barely have enough time to gasp a fraction of it back before Aya is sucking it away again. He's suddenly all over me. The door is closed, when did he have time to do that? I feel his hands snake up under my shirt and I shiver. I tangle my hands in his red hair; I love the way it feels between my fingers, so fine and cool.
He pulls away from me slightly, just enough so that we can look into each other's eyes. He smiles distantly and pulls one of his hands out of my shirt so that he can caress my face. We don't say anything. We don't have to. He nuzzles my neck and whimpers softly against my skin. I kiss his hair. He acts tough, but he's such a softy. He likes to be gentle. He likes the little touches, the soft kisses, the sharing. Don't get me wrong, Aya can be a hellcat when he wants to be, more like when I want him to be, but he prefers it this way. He prefers making love to fucking. But then so do I.
I push on his shoulders gently turning him over so that now I'm on top. He looks up at me with hooded eyes. "Aité…."
I kiss him deeply, slowly. Now his hands are in my hair. I sigh into him. When we pull apart I start to nip at his neck. He moans softly and rubs my back.
"Good thing tomorrow's Sunday," he whispers. I just chuckle and silently agree. There's nothing as beautiful as a closed shop.
* * * * *
I'm all alone in the house. Youji is wooing his newest flame, Rikuko Ninomiya, and probably won't be back until tomorrow morning… make that tomorrow afternoon. Ken is away with his soccer kids at the regional competition. And Aya… er, Ran, rather… I suppose…. Argh, I'm never going to get it through my head, oh well. Anyway –Ran- decided to go and visit Aya-chan in Tokyo as long as Ken was away. -Ran- is always worrying that she is being molested by lecherous college boys. Somehow I don't think Aya-chan in the sort of person who lets herself get molested by young men. Not that I can really say, because all in all I don't really know her that well…. Wish I had gotten to know her better; she seemed very nice… very un-Aya-kun. But now I'm just letting my mind wander.
I can't do that, because I'm not really –all- alone. Kaori is here with me. That's right I get to be baby-sitter for the weekend! I'm so excited. I love Kaori-chan. I love the way she wiggles and the way she spits food at me. I don't know why, I just do. She's so little and precious, even when she refuses to eat anything and throws her spaghetti-o's all around the kitchen.
I don't really play with her much when the others are here. I mean Aya… er Ran, rather, and Ken both want to be with her all the time, and she actually demands to be held by Youji, so I usually only take her when she's given to me, or when I know I'm being helpful. Not that I wouldn't love to play with her all the time, but she's not my baby. The others were so surprised when I offered to take care of her this weekend. Aya (I'm just giving up, he's Aya in my head) was really skeptical at first. He really didn't want to leave Kaori-chan. It was actually Youji who came to my defense, if you can call it that.
"Come on, Fujimaya, Omi's great with the little Tater-tot," he'd said, "He may not always ask to hold her or whatever, but give the kid some credit. He's a part of this little family of ours all the same; so just leave the little princess with Uncle Omi. I'm not going to be responsible for her; I've got plans."
Aya finally gave in. He'd been surprised when I already knew all the things he told me about changing diapers and cooking frozen peas and baby food. My efforts are usually under appreciated, but I just smile and try not to mind. "I've got it covered, Aya-kun."
He'd raised his eyebrow and glared at me. "Er, Ran-kun," I'd amended.
Now I've got the music up and the TV on and little Kaori tucked into her highchair. It's strained carrots time! I dance towards her with a spoonful of orangish mush in one hand and the jar the orangish mush came out of in the other. "Hey there, Kaori-hime. Look what I've got! That's right, it's baby food," I cry. I put the spoon in front of her mouth and she patiently opens up and sticks her tongue out slightly. I put the mush into her mouth and she closes it around the plastic coated spoon. I catch a little dribble and then a lot of dribble as she decides she doesn't like strained carrots and spits out the mouthful with an unceremonious "Bleh."
I glare at her sternly and raise and eyebrow. I'm trying to look like Aya- kun does when he wants Kaori to eat. She stares back at me passively, and then suddenly erupts into a burble of uncontained joy. She smiles and squints up her eyes. "Eeeeyaaa!" she squeals. "Bleh, bablppel, shoooththppp."
I can't help it, I laugh out loud. She responds by laughing back. "Oh, Kaori-chan," I say giggling, "you are so cute!" I hold up a new spoonful of strained carrots. "Now eat this."
She stops laughing and glares at me sternly. I realized that she has managed to look more like Aya-kun than I ever could. She's got those narrow, intense eyes of his. Even as a one year old she can glare like Aya. I wonder if this bodes well.
"Oh, come –on-, Kao-chan. You've got to eat something! Would you rather eat left over Mac and Cheese? Or some of the edamame I made earlier? You like soybeans, right?"
She raspberries at me. I turn around to get some of the aforementioned Mac and Cheese and the edamame as well. Maybe if I make a plate for her she'll just eat it on her own. Granted she'll make a mess, but I'd rather clean up the mess than have a staring contest with her over orangeish mush. I make the plate, humming along with the music playing in the living room. As I set it down on the tray of her high chair the phone rings.
I expect it to be Youji calling to say he won't be home tonight, so when I pick it up I say, "Moshi moshi, Omi Tsukiyono's Palace of Love."
There is a light, feminine laugh at the other end of the line. "Oh really? How do I sign up for services?"
I can feel my cheeks turning bright red. I nearly choke on my own tongue. "Oh, h-hi, Aya-chan…." I say. I'm so embarrassed.
"So, do I need a membership, or is this a free trial?"
"Oh, ha ha, I was just… joking.. y-you know, ha," I stammer.
"You are funny, Omi-san," she says.
"You don't have to call me 'san,'" I say, trying to collect my dignity.
"Well, I figure since you –are- older than I am, I should try to be respectful," she says. There's a tease in her voice.
"Well, no one else does, so it's ok."
"If you insist, Omi-chan."
I nearly drop the phone. I can tell that Aya-chan is just teasing me, but still, I get flustered so easily. It's hard for me to connect the girl on the other end of the phone to the Aya Fujimaya I know.
"Anyway, I was calling to ask what time Ran left. He's not here yet, and I was starting to worry," she says.
Finally something rational to talk about. "Oh," I say, "Well, he left this afternoon, so he should be there in not too long. I wouldn't worry, Aya, I mean he has the cell phone. If something was wrong he'd call."
"Yeah, unless he's in a burning heap of twisted metal somewhere."
The image of Aya-kun lying in a twisted heap of burning metal is too much for me to take. "That's a terrible thing to say!" I cry.
"Sorry. I'm just being morbid. It runs in the family," she responds and laughs hollowly.
"Like I said, I'm sure he's fine," I repeat.
There is a space of dead air time. I wonder if I should say good-bye or not. Just as I'm getting up the nerve to cut off our conversation Aya-chan speaks up again. "So what are you doing, Omi; how's Kaori?"
"Um," I say putting the phone in the crook of my neck so that both my hands are free, "Right now she's being fed. At least I'm –trying- to feed Kaori- chan. She rejected the strained carrots I tried to give her. Right now she's making a mess of some macaroni and soybeans. I don't think she's eaten any of it, but she has made an interesting greenish-yellow paste."
Aya-chan laughs. "Sounds exciting. Wish I could be there."
I laugh a little. "I don't think so. No one else is here. It would just be you and me and Kaori-chan."
"Hm. I'll have to come visit you guys in Kyoto sometime, and then we can hang out."
"Yeah, that'd be fun. How are you enjoying your classes?"
"You know, they're just classes. Some are fun and others are not. It's a lot like high school, minus the uniforms."
"Uh-huh." I look over at Kaori-chan just to make sure she isn't choking or something. I walk closer and squat down so that I can smile at her. She throws a good handful of macaroni and soy paste at my head. It hits me square between the eyes. "Argh!"
"What happened?"
"Oh nothing," I say wiping the glop away with a paper towel. "Kaori-chan decided my face needed some improving. Thanks a lot, Kaori." She squeals at me and tosses another handful to the floor. I sigh.
"Oh, poor Omi-san," Aya-chan says. "Well, I guess I should let you go."
"Yeah," I sigh. I like talking to Aya-chan.
"Ok, well have a good… oh, wait, I think Ran's here. Hi, Ran!" I hear her cry over the phone. I can hear Aya-kun's voice saying something. It must have been, 'who's on the phone' because next I hear Aya-chan say, "Oh, no one. Just the phone-sex guy."
I splutter. Aya-kun must have responded much the same way because I can hear Aya-chan laughing gleefully.
"Ok, ok, I'm coming, Ran-kun. Well, it's been fun. Thanks for all the great… talk, Omi-chan."
"Bye," I say laughing. Before Aya-chan hangs up the phone I hear Aya-kun say, "Omi-chan?!" Then there is just a click and dead air. I hang up the phone and turn back to Kaori.
She's actually eaten some of her dinner. "Ummy!" she says.
"I'm glad," I say smiling. I lift her out of the high chair and wipe off her mouth and toss her bib into 'dirty bib' bag. She puts her grubby hands on my cheeks and smears them around. I sigh. "What is it about me that says 'rub my face in the dirt' to women?"
She looks up at me with very serious eyes and sticks her tongue half way out.
"It was almost convincing, Kao-chan. If you'd just left your tongue in your mouth, I'd have believed you cared," I say. I don't know why I'm suddenly so tired. Sometimes things just seem so out of whack. Ken and Aya-kun have each other, Youji has half the female population of Japan, and I have… no one. A rather sad and very self-pitying thing to think, but it's true. My last romantic foray was none too successful. I shudder at the memory. Why do I always get stuck with the vicious girls who like to call me cute, beat me up, and try to molest me? Ken says the sensitive guy thing drives women crazy. But my problem is that I really am a sensitive guy, and the –last- thing I want is a crazy woman.
I sigh. Oh well. "You won't treat me like crap and walk all over me, will you, Kao-chan?" I coo. She says something that sounds a lot like "mibble- ppplsh."
"Thanks, Kaori," I smile. I squeeze her gently and rub her little back. "I love you, Kao-chan. Now let's get you all cleaned up and watch some TV. I think we can still catch the Rurouni Kenshin rerun block if we hurry."
* * * * *
"Hey! Hey, Ken, don't let him eat that!" I cry sitting up on the grass.
He looks over at me quizzically and I jab a finger in the general direction of Kaori-chan who is about to stuff a nice fist full of grass and dirt into my son's mouth. Ken follows my finger and then jumps up, rushing over to the where the kids are playing.
"No, no, Kaori-chan! No feeding Kenji dirt," he says in exasperation slapping her hand lightly so she drops it. She looks up at him and glares intensely. "Yeah, that only works with your Father."
"No fair!" she cries. "Kenji wanted to eat it. He told me so."
"And I suppose you're psychic, seeing as Kenji-kun is only one and a half years old and his vocabulary consists of 'Dada' and 'ize-cweem.'"
Kaori is unfazed by sarcasm. She'd have to be, being raised by us. She just sticks out her bottom lip and as it starts to quiver she cries, "I want my Papa!" Then come the theatrics, the waterworks. I can't believe that crap actually fazes Ken. He's got a major parental inferiority complex when it comes to Aya, and Kaori plays it up. She's got both of them by the balls. "I want… my… Papa!" she hiccups between sobs.
Ken gets flustered and tries to pick her up, but she just keeps crying and pushes him away. "I… want… my…PAPA!!"
This time Aya looks up from where he's been reading in the sun. He notices that Kaori is crying and snaps the book shut. "Ken, what's wrong with Kaori?" he asks.
Ken shrugs in exasperation. "Nothing. I just told her not to feed Kenji- kun dirt and suddenly I'm a bad guy."
She looks balefully over at Aya and starts crying double time. "I… want… *hic*… my Papa!"
Aya stands and walks over to her briskly he picks her up in his arms and lets her sob on his shoulder. "Daddy's mean," she wails.
"God, Ken, what did you say to her?"
Ken gets up quickly. "Nothing! I told you all I did was tell her not to feed Kenji dirt. And she got lippy and when I wouldn't back down she turned on the water works and screamed for you. Suddenly I'm an ass-hole, because you've spoiled her," he snaps.
"Watch you language, Ken!" Aya growls.
I roll my eyes. I should probably get my son out from beneath their manly tirade. I stand up and walk slowly past them and stoop to pick up my son. He smiles at me and holds out his arms. "Up!"
"Yeah, up it is, Stink-bomb. I don't want you to be squashed beneath the festering exchange of your uncles' pleasantries." I scoop him up and sling him over my shoulder. I could kill for a smoke, but I promised myself I wouldn't smoke around Kenji or Kaori, so I'm gonna have to tough it out.
"I've spoiled her?! That's a laugh, Ken. If she doesn't listen to you it's only because you enable it," Aya growls.
"No, Ran, it's because –you- enable it! And the proof is right there crying on
–your- shoulder," Ken says between his teeth. Aya really doesn't understand how Ken feels about this. I can tell. I've been watching lately.
Kaori-chan's eyes are bigger than dinner plates. She's gotten herself into more than she bargained for. She hates it when Aya and Ken fight. Oh well, maybe this will teach her. But still I feel sorry for the little Tater-tot.
"Hey, hey, hey," I say stepping in between them. "I don't think you two need to be having this type of discussion in front of your daughter, so why don't you giver her to me," I say lifting her out of Aya's arms, "and you two go and discuss this somewhere else. Like over by the pond." I point.
They both look at me for a moment and then Ken grabs Aya's arm and steers him away without another word.
"Come on, kids, whatcha' say we find Uncle Omi and Aunt Aya and get some ice cream?"
"Ize-cweem!" Kenji screams and then begins to drool on himself. Kaori looks after Ken and Aya and then nods slowly.
"Uncle Youji?" she says timidly as I turn and head off towards the center of the park.
"Yeah, Tater-tot?"
"Do you think my daddies are really mad at me?"
I pause for emphasis, so it seems like I'm thinking. "Well, Kaori," I use her name to make my point seem serious, "I don't think your daddies are mad at you, but they are mad at each other –because- of you."
She thinks about this for a minute. "But…."
"But what? Do you think that Ken was trying to be mean when he told you not to feed Kenji dirt?"
"Um…."
"'Cause Kenji is my son, and I don't want you to feed him dirt either. Would you have done what you did if I'd been the one who asked you not to do it?"
She ponders for a moment. I can tell her little four year-old wheels are turning a mile a minute. "No."
"Then why did you pretend to cry and tell Ran that Ken had been mean to you? That wasn't very nice, because Ken wasn't being mean and you got Ran really mad at him."
"Well… I wanted Papa to be mad at Daddy, because I was mad at Daddy. And Papa always takes my side, so I wanted Daddy to feel bad about telling me no, so I called to Papa."
I reflect on the fact that the most beautiful, brutally honest relationship I have is with a four year-old and then go on. "But Ken wasn't wrong to tell you no."
"I know, but –he- isn't supposed to tell me no. Papa can say no, but Daddy should just play with me and make me happy. That's why I don't listen to Daddy, so that he'll learn not to tell me no."
I think about how twisted Kaori's mind is. "I don't think that you can teach your Daddy not to tell you no. And acting like that makes you spoiled."
"Ok, Uncle Youji. I'll try not to try to get attention from Papa when Daddy tells me no."
I shrug. "Ah, no you won't, but that's because you're four. Just as long as you know it makes everyone very sad when you make your daddies mad at each other."
"Ok."
We've reached the center of the park where all the paths converge into a paved pavilion with a hideous fountain in the center. I shudder. I look around and there in one of the slivers of sun-drenched grass are the objects of our search. Omi and Aya-chan are sitting on yoga mats ignoring the world around them. Omi's actually got one of his legs wrapped around his neck and Aya-chan is stretched out flat with her legs straight up in the air. I shake my head. Yoga is their newest 'together activity.' "At least they gave up on the ball-room dancing."
It's been interesting ever since Omi and Aya-chan became an official 'item.' Not only has Aya-kun developed a nervous tick that kicks in every time he sees them together, but Aya-chan moved back in… she sleeps in Kaori- chan's room. I'm beginning to wonder why Kritiker lets her stay with us… I suppose it's because she already knows everything anyway, and they do kinda owe her one, seeing as she's the only reason Aya-kun works for them. Oh the twisted ways the world works.
"There they are kids," I say smiling. "You wanna go and tell em we're getting ice cream, Tater-tot?"
"Yeah!" Kaori cries. I set her down. She streaks across the grass with the energy that only a four year old has. She reaches Omi and jumps onto his back. He snaps out of his yoga trance with a painful cry. That leg over the head thing must not seem like such a good idea just now. He tries to untangle himself as she wraps her arms around his neck and starts to babble happily about ice cream. Aya-chan opens her eyes, sits up, and reaches over to try and get Omi's leg down before Kaori can pop it out of joint. She succeeds, but I can hear Omi saying "Itai! Itai!"
As I saunter up with Kenji-kun, Aya-chan is lifting Kaori off Omi's back and sitting her down in her lap. Omi looks up at me, rubbing his hip joint. "I should have known you'd be the one putting her up to this."
Aya-chan is giggling behind her hand.
"Hey, I just told her to tell you guys we were getting ice cream. I never said, 'go jump on Uncle Omi's back,' she did that by herself."
"Yeah, come on Uncle Omi and Auntie Aya, we're gonna get some ice cream! Let's go!"
"Ok, ok, Kao-chan," Aya says setting her down on the grass. She stands up and reaches out her hands towards Omi to help him. He wobbles slightly and stretches. Aya stoops to pick up their yoga blankets.
"Uncle Omi can I ride on your shoulders?!" Kaori asks loudly.
"Gee I don't know, Kaori-chan, you really hurt my leg," he says teasingly. He's about to pick her up when we hear:
"Youji! I've been all over this damned park looking for you."
I turn around and see Rikuko, my ex-wife, storming towards us. She looks pissed. "Hi, Rikuko, nice to see you too. What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?! Youji, you were supposed to meet me with Kenji ready to go in the parking lot –half and hour- ago!"
I look down at my watch. Shit, she's right. Kenji squeals in my arms, "Mama."
"Wow, it's already that late, huh? Guess I lost track of time, sorry about that, Riku. We were about to get some ice cream, you wanna join us for a cone, I'll treat," I say brightly trying to make the best of a bad situation.
"No, Youji, I don't have time. I was supposed to drop Kenji off at my mother's fifteen minutes ago so that I could get to my committee meeting on time."
"You mother's?! Why the hell couldn't you just leave him with me?" I snap.
"Because she's his grandmother, and she likes to spend time with him too," she says testily.
"I'm his father, Rikuko! You don't think I like to spend time with him? That bag already gets to see him ten times more than I do!"
"I don't have time for this, Kudou. Just give him to me," she says taking him from my arms roughly. She glares at me. "I'm assuming his things are in your jeep. I saw it in the parking lot. Give me the keys, I'll put them under your seat."
I'm so pissed I can't even say anything. I dig in my pocket and drop my keys into her hand. "What if it gets stolen?" I ask sarcastically.
"I'll buy you a new one. Thanks for being so responsible, Youji. It's so refreshing." She turns and stalks off with my son. He waves to me over her shoulder. I wave back. I feel like crying, but Youji Kudou doesn't cry… at least not in front of girls. I should have just done like Ken and Aya-kun and married another member of Weiss… of course that only left Omi, but it still would probably have been easier than this.
I feel Omi's hand on my shoulder. He understands somehow. He squeezes gently and I turn to him and Kaori. "Hey, tell you what, Kaori-chan," I croak. "How about you ride on my shoulders?"
* * * * *
I like the sound of the waves. In and out, steady, soothing. I grip my daughter's hand tightly. My other hand is in my pocket; we walk slowly. Ken holds her other hand in his and we swing her back and forth between us. She giggles happily. Her dark hair flies out around her as she flies through the air. I smile softly.
"Higher!" she cries delightedly. We swing her higher. I wonder if other people look at us. I wonder what they see, what they think. I wonder, but I don't care. Maybe I used to, but not any more. With them I am complete.
I see other little girls on the beach. Little girls in yellow sundresses and floral prints. Straw hats. Sugar and spice and everything nice. Kaori is not one of those little girls. She wears navy-blue shorts and a faded, hooded t-shirt with racing stripes down the sleeves. She shops with Ken. Our little tomboy. But what else should I expect? Omi wove baby's breath and daisies into her barrettes this morning, but they are falling out now.
"Here, let me go," she says. We release her hands and she jumps forward into the sand and races joyously down the beach into a flock of seagulls. They scream angrily at her and fly up into the sky in a flurry of white wings. She dances beneath them, spinning and laughing, watching them spiral upwards until she falls over and lies smiling on the sand. Ken looks over at me rather timidly and reaches out his hand. I take it and lace my fingers through his. He laughs into the sky and brushes against me. I smile and squeeze his hand.
We walk towards our daughter. He lets go of my hand and rushes forward scooping her up and tossing her into the air. He catches her again and she screams in fear and delight. He starts to tickle her, kissing her face. She screams and kicks until her sets her down and she dodges away from him laughing. He chases after her, but she's fast. She ducks and dodges him and then turns the tables by tackling his legs. They both go down.
She crawls up onto his chest and starts to tickly his ribs. Ken's ticklish. He laughs fiercely and then picks her up around the waist, holding her above him and arms length. They both smile at each other and laugh. He lowers her a little so that they can Eskimo kiss. They rub noses, happy to be together.
I stand apart and watch all this. Here there are no missions, no people to kill, no responsibilities to think about. Nothing to feel guilty about later. Just the quiet of the ocean, the music of seagulls, and everything I care about, laughing. I run a hand through my hair and then walk forward towards my utopia.
