Disclaimer: Wait… what am I supposed to write here? Oh yeah. Sleeping
with sheep may be hazardous to your health, proceed with caution. You have
been warned. (Actually I'm supposed to say that the characters portrayed
herein are the property of… well, their respective owners. But sheep are
so much funnier.)
Comments: Yeah, it's… more Baby Talk. Bleh. I'm beginning to run a bit dry on ideas. Anything anyone out there wants to see happen? Milestones I'm missing in the life of Kaori? I'm open to ideas! Help me! Or I could just stop all together… regain my sanity… get some sleep… but why? Um… forgive me for the lameness of Omi's section. I wanted it to be not lame, but failed. Oops. Berate me later. Ok, so enjoy. Marty is going to go and eat a donut and then maybe go to bed. Probably not, but she should. (Hear that Marty, even you think you should go to bed.) Ok, so R&R, please! And I'm serious about suggestions! Either e-mail me or write them in the review, I don't care. But I'm running out of juice. *Glag*
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Another coughing fit. It feels like my chest is going to explode with each wracking cough. I hate being sick. I hate it, hate it, hate it! I can't go to work, I can't go outside, I can't go on missions, and worst of all I can't see Kao-chan -or- Aya. I'm miserable and all alone. I've been in this bed for three days and it doesn't look like I'm going to be leaving anytime soon. I have to be completely recovered. We can't take any chances.
I grumble and fall back onto the sweaty, stuffy pillows. I want to see them so badly. I want to hold Kaori in my arms and feel Aya's arms around me. But I can't. That's just the way it is, get used to it. But it still isn't fair that I have to be locked in this room because I caught the flu. If I could just see Aya, I'd be happy. Hell if I could see Omi or Youji it would be better than nothing! But the chance of infecting one of them is too great. And if they get sick and don't know it and are around the baby… if Kaori gets sick…. I don't even want to think about it.
That cold she caught scared the crap out of us. It isn't unusual for babies to get sick, but things are different with Kaori. We could have lost her and we had no idea. See, Kaori isn't like most children. Well obviously. But we have to be so careful now. The doctor who was in charge of her gestation ran some tests after her recovery in the hospital. Turns out her immune system is full of more holes than Swiss cheese. Most children, he'd explained, gather antibodies and immunities as they develop in their mother's womb, the exchange of fluids and nutrition allows this, letting the baby inherit many of the mother's defenses against disease. Kaori didn't have a mother. Kaori had an artificial womb and a large machine. To top that off Kaori didn't have anyone to breast-feed her either, another way in which children obtain a strong immune system.
The doctor assured us that by the time Kaori was old enough to start school she should have developed a perfectly normal immune system all on her own just through contact with everyday germs around her. But if she get sick now her reactions will most likely be very violent. Any tiny disease or virus could be deadly to her right now. That's why we have to be so careful.
That's why I am locked in this room, unable to see or touch anyone. Of course someone brings me food and meds every few hours, but they don't stay long, and it certainly isn't Aya. A few times he's stood in the doorway and talked with me for a couple minutes, but that isn't nearly enough. I feel like a plague bearer. Then again I suppose that to Kaori that's exactly what I am. That's why I have to get better.
Here comes the coughing again. I should just lie back and go to sleep. Take another dose of NyQuil and nock myself out. Yeah… that's what I'll do.
A few hours later I'm pulled out of my sleep haze by the sound of his voice. I struggle towards wakefulness.
"Aité," he calls, he sounds far away, "Come on, Kenken, I came up here to see you."
I struggle to sit up. "Wha?" I call blearily, opening my eyes. Itai… sickness headache. He's standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. A smile flickers across his face as I struggle to prop myself up against the pillows.
"Hi, koi," I whisper, it's hard to talk what with all the coughing I've been doing.
I realize that he's holding Kaori in his arms, cradled against his chest. My eyes widen. "Should she be here?" I croak.
He looks down at our daughter and then back at me. I can see my need for him reflected in his dark, beautiful eyes. He wants to be with me as badly as I want him to be. He shifts his weight. "I don't think your flu is airborne. Besides we're far enough away."
I stretch out my arms and furrow my eyebrows. "Too far."
He smiles sadly. "Don't tempt me, koi."
"I know," I sigh and lie back with a grunt. I snuffle loudly, trying in vain to clear my sinuses of mucus. I only succeed in giving myself an even worse headache.
"Are you feeling any better?" he asks.
I shrug and stare at the ceiling. Why am I doing that? I should be staring at Aya, getting as much out of him as I can. I sit back up and train my eyes on his lean body. "A little. It would help if I could get a little TLC."
He stares at me for a moment and then says, "Rap music?"
I giggle, the action throws me into a mini coughing fit. "No," I say through my wheezing, "it stands for 'tender, loving, care' in English."
Aya shrugs and shifts Kaori in his arms. She makes a squeaking sound and burbles happily. "Don't use obscure references in other languages. It's confusing."
"Well sheesh, my attempt at humor is DOA, and I guess I'm SOL."
He glares at me, but doesn't say anything. I smile at him sweetly and after a moment he crumbles. "Is there anything you need?"
"Yeah, you on a plate."
"As fun as that sounds I don't think it will help you get better."
"Probably not, but I'm seriously going crazy in here! How much longer do I have to stay like this?" I cry.
"Until you are better, Ken. I don't know how long that's going to be. A few more days, maybe a week or more. You aren't the only one going crazy, aité. Believe me. I want you out of here as much as you do. It's cold sleeping alone," he says softly. God I want to touch him. This is cruel and unusual punishment.
I remember the last time I got sick. Aya was all over me. Doting 24/7. He brought me soup, rubbed my back, held my hair out of my face when I had to hurl, kept me company, read to me, whatever I wanted. It was great. Of course the fact that I was violently ill kinda took the charm off, but it was a million time better than this. I'd do the same for Aya in a heartbeat, but funny thing is… he never gets sick.
"Yeah, well. It's hotter than hell in here. I'm tired of smelling like a sick person," I whine.
"You are a sick person."
"I know, but I'm tired of it!"
"Then concentrate on getting better. Now are you sure there's nothing you want?" he asks again.
I shake my head. "The only things I want I can't have. I think I'll just go back to sleep."
"Suit yourself. I should get back to the shop." He shifts Kaori in her arms and holds her up so that she can see me. "Say bye to Daddy."
She smiles and squeals in delight at seeing me. Her little arms wave wildly and she giggles. Aww, she misses me too. I wave at her and smile. "Bai bai, Kao-chan. Daddy loves you. Daddy loves you so much that he imposes exile upon himself for you, yes he does!" I babble in baby talk. She giggles again.
"Sleep tight, aité. I'll check on you later, ok?"
"I'll be here."
I watch him turn and shut the door softly. I listen as his soft, purposeful footsteps recede down the hallway. Alone again. I fall back onto the pillows once more and stare at the ceiling. I keep Aya in my mind's eye, letting it wander over his body. I haven't touched him in almost four days. Four days without so much as a kiss, so much as a caress. Bleh. I want my koibito.
Snuffling back some more snot that threatens to escape my nose I turn over onto my side and curl up. Oh well, I'll just think about what it will be like when I finally do get my hands on him again. Oh yeah. You just wait, Aya-kun, I'm going to get better. And when I do… oh the possibilities.
* * * * * *
The lurid light from the TV screen flashes on and off, casting strange shadows around the room. I have no idea how late it is. I must have dozed off. I peer blearily around the room. The VCR says that it's only 11:34. The others won't be back for another hour at least.
A little pang of guilt niggles at my stomach. I could have decided to go with them, but for some reason I just didn't want to have any part in this mission. It seemed pointless. One of those missions where you know it isn't going to change anything. I don't often pass when Manx brings us something new, but this time I just didn't want to go… and I hadn't been feeling up to snuff lately anyway, so I stayed home.
I wonder if they'd be done by now if I'd gone along.
The channel on the TV changes rapidly, flashing through several shows and then stopping. Someone else is here?
I prop myself up and look around. Ah, of course. Aya-chan is lying on the floor, facing away from me. Kaori must be curled up against her… or maybe she's asleep in bed by now. It's way past her bedtime. That doesn't always mean she'll go to bed though.
I make a little sound to let Aya know that I'm awake. She peers over her shoulder and blinks sleepily at me. "Did I wake you up with the TV?" she asks softly.
I shake my head. "I don't think so. I just kinda woke up. What are you doing on the floor?"
She turns away and lays her head back down against her arm. "Well, I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep. I never can when I know Ran is still out. I thought I'd watch some TV. Kaori was sleeping with me, and I woke her up so she said she wanted to come along. You were on the couch and I wanted to lie down, so I grabbed the floor."
"Oh," I say, clearing my throat, which is thick with sleep. "Do you want the couch?"
She shakes her head. "No. It's ok."
I lie back against the couch cushions and try to watch the TV, but I find myself watching Aya instead. After a few moments I slide off the couch and crawl towards her. She tilts her head back and watches me.
"Where's Kaori?" I ask, leaning over Aya's side. "There she is." She's curled up against Aya's chest, legs tucked up to her chin. Doesn't look very comfortable to me, but kids never really seem to care. I reach over Aya and run my hand over Kaori's sleeping head. She's so precious, and so big too. I can't believe that she'll be three soon. It seems like we just brought her home….
As I get lost in my reverie over Kaori I suddenly realize that I'm leaning over Ran's little sister, dangerously entwined in her personal space. I pull back and begin to sit up. Aya shifts to look up at me, she's smiling. Her hand reaches up to touch my face, fingers lingering along my cheek. I smile weakly. I feel her hand begin to pull my face downwards, and our lips meet for a moment, softly brushing against each other. A little shiver runs though my body.
It's not the first time we've kissed. No, there was that day in the park when we got 'lost' playing hide and seek with the others and Kao-chan. I don't think we saw them again until around seven o'clock. That was the first time we kissed, the first time Aya told me how fed up she was getting waiting for me to make a move, the first time I let myself be with Aya like we were just two young people who might have something and not like she was Ran's little sister.
Of course since then the awkwardness had only increased, because now I knew for certain that Aya was feeling what I was feeling, and it made it so much harder to try to ignore. Then there was the fact that Aya wanted to do anything but ignore it, and was pretty open about it. I couldn't explain to her how it wasn't going to work, how Ran was going to kill me if he found out. She laughed at this. She wasn't around to see Aya-kun. She doesn't know. She's never seen him kill, seen him tear his own life apart to keep her safe and happy.
As our lips part I pull back and look down at her sadly. She's so pretty. Her eyes are soft and kind. She isn't like other girls.
"Aya-chan… you know how…," I begin, but she cuts me off covering my mouth with the tips of her fingers.
"Omi, can't you just enjoy it? Ran's not even here. Do you really think he'd care so much?" she asks, her eyes intense and slightly angry.
I sigh and shake my head, pushing her hand away. "I can't explain, Aya."
She turns away again, rolling back onto her side. I stare at her back. I want to pursue my feelings for her, but I don't want to complicate things. I can't afford that right now, but the way I feel I can't afford to keep pushing her away either.
I make a decision and curl up behind her, wrapping one arm around her stomach, pulling her closer to me. I breathe softly against the back of her head. She pulls my other arm under her head and uses it as a pillow. It's nice to be like this. I hear Kaori snuffle and twist in Aya's arm. We don't talk. We just lie on the floor together.
After a long time I softly say, "Aya, if we do this, it has to be between us, and only us. Ok?"
She shifts under my arm and places her hand over mine on her stomach. "I guess I'll have to take what I can get," she says sarcastically.
"Look, at least for now that's all I can give you. Maybe… maybe in a little while we can tell Ran, but right now I don't want him to know. I'm sorry, Aya-chan."
She shrugs. "Like I said, I'll take what I can get."
I squeeze her a little closer. I like the way she feels against me. So warm, so soft… all curves. We doze off; the flash of the TV screen flickers behind my eyelids.
It isn't until I hear the sound of voices, voices much louder than the TV, that I realize I fell completely asleep. I force myself into wakefulness and listen.
"I wonder if everyone's in bed. It's quiet." Ran's voice.
"I don't know. I thought I heard the TV. I'll go check." Ken's voice.
Shit. I sit up, pulling away from Aya-chan, scrambling sleepily back towards the couch. I can hear Ken getting closer. I give up on trying to get back on the couch and slump against it, feigning sleep. At least I'm no longer entangled with Aya-chan's body.
"Well, who dropped the can of sleeping gas in here?" Ken asks quietly. I can feel his eyes peering around the room. "And how the hell did Omittchi end up like that? Weird. Oh well, might as well wake them up."
Ken walks first to Aya-chan and shakes her awake. "Omi?" I hear her say blearily.
"No, it's me," Ken says.
"Oh… Ken? Are you guys back already?"
"It would appear so. Hey, Omittchi, wake it up, kiddo!" he calls to me. I begin to rub my eyes and pretend to wake up, getting shakily to my feet. Aya-chan is staring at me from the floor. I look back at her and shrug.
Aya walks in. "Here you are."
"They were all passed out on the floor. Too much TV," Ken quips, bending to pick up Kao-chan.
She yawns wide and says, "Hi, Daddy."
"Hi, sweetness. Let's get you off to bed. Night you two," he calls over his shoulder to Aya and I. Ran nods to both of us and follows Ken out of the room.
I glance over at Aya-chan. She looks back at me for a minute and then smiles slowly. "Good night, Omi-kun. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah. Good night."
* * * * * *
I walk slowly into the living room of the tiny apartment I share with Asami. We've been living here for over two years now, and sometimes I still miss the Koneko. Not often, but sometimes. I lean against the wall and watch my wife braid Kaori's long, dark hair.
Fujimaya and Ken went out of town for a little vacation this weekend, and Omi and Aya-chan have enough to deal with what with her having the twins and all. Cute little kids those two. Anyway, so Kaori's with us for the weekend. I take a drag on my cigarette. I thought I was going to kick this habit? Oh well.
Asami's fingers work quickly, pulling Kaori's long hair into two straight French braids. She loves having the kids over, she had a big family. Something like four siblings. I can't imagine. I've met all of them, but I can't keep their name and faces straight.
The tater-tot bounces impatiently in her lap. "Are you almost done, Aunt Asami?"
"Almost, Kao-chan, just be patient," she says, smiling. She's so beautiful when she smiles. The way her eyes crinkle behind those geeky glasses of hers…. I sigh, closing my eyes against the flood of emotions that I have to constantly hold a bay every time I see her. It's so unfair… so goddamned unfair.
She finishes Kaori's braids. "Ok, you're done."
"Whee! Thank's Aunt Asami. Hey, Uncle Youji, are you ready? Remember you promised to take me to the park to feed the ducks," she cries running up to me and yanking on my pants leg. I watch Asami watch Kaori and see the longing in her eyes. It breaks my heart.
"Yeah, of course I remember, tater-tot. Go get your coat and we'll go," I answer not looking at her.
She runs off without another word.
We tried to have children. I thought giving fatherhood another try would be a good thing. Asami wanted kids so badly. She loved Kenji, loved having him around, but of course there's not a whole lot of joint in that joint custody agreement. Nothing worked. She kept miscarrying. Three miscarriages, if that's not enough to break any parent's heart I don't know what is. Of course in the end we went to the doctors. Now I wish we never had. Ignorance is bliss after all….
I walk across the room and take her hand in mine, pulling her up from the couch. I put one arm around her back and we waltz around the room. I improvise music. She laughs, throwing her head back.
"You're such a goof-ball, Kudou," she says musically. "What did a guy like you ever see in a straight laced woman like me?"
Everything. How can she even ask? She's perfect, more perfect than Asuka, and it isn't easy to out do a dead woman. I pull her closer to me and whisper in her ear, "I saw someone who was exactly what I wanted. White collar job and all."
"You are soooo charming," she quips sarcastically. She smiles at me brightly, but as I gaze into her eyes sadness passes between us, smiles fading. She hugs me tightly and buries her face in my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Youji."
"Never apologize. You've made me happy, and that's enough. I don't need more," I whisper. And it's true. She's somehow made up for all the times before. She's made up for everything. But what's going to make up for this? We stand apart a little and I take her face in my hands. "Are you coming with us?"
She shakes her head and sighs. "No. I don't think so. I don't feel very good today. You know how it goes." She places a hand on her abdomen and casts her eyes away from me. Yeah, I know how it goes. I kiss her forehead.
She glances at the cigarette between my fingers. "I thought you were going to kick that habit."
I shrug. "You know how it goes."
"I don't want you following in my footsteps," she says seriously.
I smile distantly and take a drag. "Wouldn't be so bad."
She looks up at me. Her eyes are severe. I really shouldn't say things like that; it only upsets her.
"Don't say that, Youji. We've talked about this. When it's over… life will go on. Just make sure you remember that," she says softly, yanking on a piece of my hair. She smiles and walks away. "I'm going to go take a nap. See you when you get back."
"Sure."
Kaori comes running down the hallway and bumps into Asami. "Sorry, Aunt Asami. Aren't you coming with us?"
"No, sweetheart, I'm going to take nap instead. I'm kinda tired today."
"Oh, ok. Have a good nap." She watches Asami as she walks slowly to our room and shuts the door. Then her eyes, eyes so like Aya's, become trained on me. She wiggles her nose and comes to take my hand. As we walk to the door, slipping off our slippers and putting on our shoes she looks up at me. "Uncle Yotan?"
"Yes, tater-tot?"
"Aunt Asami is very sick, isn't she?"
I catch my breath and close my eyes. She's too damn perceptive, that one. After a moment I regain my composure and look down at the little girl I love like my own. "Yes, Kaori-chan, she is."
"Daddy and Papa told me. They said she might not get better. What's wrong with her?"
I blink my eyes and take her hand again, leading her down the porch of our apartment floor. "Do you know what cancer is, Kao-chan?"
She shakes her head, her tight braids bobbing back and forth.
"Well, cancer is a very bad thing that some people, very nice, wonderful people get. Aunt Asami has cancer in the place where she should be able to make babies. It's called 'ovarian cancer.'"
Kaori thinks about this for a few moments and then looks up at me her usually narrow eyes very wide. "What will happen if Aunt Asami doesn't get better? Will she die?"
I take a deep breath and face the inevitable answer that haunts me night and day. "Yes."
"You'll be very sad then, huh, Uncle Youji."
"I will be very sad, but grief is a part of life. You live on for the people you love."
"I'll be sad too. I think that everyone will be sad. I hope it doesn't happen for a long, long time," she murmurs.
"Me too, Kao-chan, me too. But maybe we can all help each other when we are sad," I say, squeezing her hand.
She squeezes back. "Yeah. I'll help you and you'll help me. It will be ok, Uncle Youji, because Aunt Asami is so wonderful now, that she'll be that wonderful forever. Even if she does die."
I fight back tears. The kid's so… I don't know, but she hits home. I smile sadly. "I love you, Kao-chan."
"I love you, too, Uncle Yotan."
* * * * * *
My eyes slowly open to the first soft glow of sunlight that pours in through the partially drawn blinds. I breathe deeply, taking in the warm comfort that surrounds me. Sitting up I run a hand through my hair and glance down at the person I love more than life itself. Didn't we say there weren't going to be any clichés? Oh well, it was my rule. I can break it if I want.
I watch his sides rise and fall with his soft breathing. I ache with love and longing just looking at him. He moans softly in his sleep and mumbles something about eggs. I laugh under my breath. Ken has a habit of talking in his sleep. I slide back down into the covers and slip my arms around his warm, beautiful body. He squirms as I pull him closer and press my lips to his in a tender kiss. I don't want him to wake up, but I can't help myself. I caress his face, feeling his smooth skin beneath my fingers. He wiggles against me and his eyes squinch up.
"Eggs… on toast," he murmurs. The tone of his voice makes it seem as if he's worried about these eggs.
I chuckle and kiss him again, nuzzling his cheek with my nose. "No eggs, just me."
There is a pause and then he wiggles again. "Koi…."
"Uh huh."
He takes a deep breath; he's still asleep. "Hi."
"Hi, aité. I'm going to get up now," I whisper to him, kissing his forehead.
"K," he murmurs and then burrows deeper into the covers. I gaze at him adoringly for a few more moments, kiss his sweet lips one more time, and then release him, rolling over out of bed.
It's cold out here. I grab a shirt and tighten the strings of my loose pajama pants, heading for the door. The door opens and shuts behind me, making a soft clicking sound. The carpet tickles my bare feet as I make my way to the bathroom. It's so quiet here in the mornings now. No tiny ones running around anymore. Not since Omi, Aya, and the twins moved into Youji and Asami's old apartment, and Youji moved back in with us. That's the way I want it to be. I don't want Youji living alone. Not right now.
Youji…. He's probably still asleep. At least he got over the insomnia. Sometimes life is just shit… just shit. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair as I switch on the bathroom light and make my way to the sink. I turn the tap on and begin to brush my teeth.
The door creaks open slowly and Kaori comes in, rubbing her eyes. She's an early riser, just like me. Without looking at me she bumps me with her hip to make me move over. "Morning," she yawns under her breath.
I don't say anything. I'm brushing my teeth. I watch her in the mirror as she reaches for her toothbrush and begins to brush her teeth as well. She's growing up so fast. She's almost ten, almost a double digit. Her long, messy hair falls over her shoulders and she sweeps it back with one hand as she spits into the sink. I tap her shoulder to let her know I need to do the same and she shifts out of my way.
I rinse my mouth and reach for the hairbrush on the counter coming to stand behind my daughter. She spits one last time into the sink and as she reaches for her cup I run my hand down the back of her head, pulling my fingers through the snarls. She winces, and fills her cup with water, rinsing and spitting.
I run the brush down the length of her dark hair and she tries to pull away. "Hold still," I grumble.
"You're pulling," she whines. "You always pull. Daddy never pulls."
I roll my eyes. Of course, Daddy never does anything wrong. I remember when it was me she used to cry for. When I was the one who could do no wrong. I put my other hand on the back of her head to keep the hair from pulling. I work slowly at the tangles. "Is that better?"
"Yes," she says grumpily, crossing her arms. I take my time running the brush through her hair. I don't know why, but I love brushing Kaori's hair. It's so long and smooth and dark. It's just like Ken's hair, soft and warm. She smells like Ken's shampoo and sandalwood incense. Ken claims that he read somewhere that the smell of sandalwood increases brain cell activity, so he burns it in Kaori's room every night before she falls asleep. I think it makes her smell like a hippy, but whatever.
She stands patiently before me, hands clasped on the counter. When I look up from her hair I notice that she's staring at me intensely in the mirror. I stare back, both of our faces are blank masks that betray no emotion. We play this stupid game almost every morning. Our eyes bore passively into each other in the mirror, identical eyes, identical glares.
Suddenly she bursts out into a fit of giggles and smiles a big goofy grin that looks just like Ken's. She laughs and laughs just like my koibito.
"I win," I say, continuing my brushing.
She tries to compose herself and glare again, but her face cracks and she giggles some more. "You always win. I'm just not grumpy enough."
"Who's grumpy?" I say incredulously. I start to tickle her mercilessly, growling into her ear. She squeals in delight and gasps for air. She kicks and giggles.
"Papa! St-stop!" she cries twisting in my hands.
I stop and peer down into her face as she tips her head back and looks up at me. I lean down and she stands on her tiptoes until our noses practically touch. She furrows her eyebrows and grr's at me. I kiss the tip of her nose loudly.
"Eww," she cries, rubbing her hand across her nose. "Wet kiss!"
I roll my eyes. "Nuh uh."
"Uh huh, you did so give me a wet kiss. Bleh."
I pat the top of her head and look at her in the mirror again. "You want breakfast?"
She shakes her head. "Nope. I'll eat when Daddy gets up."
"Me too." She smiles again and then dodges away from me, running out of the bathroom. I shake my head. She's so spazzy. Not unlike a certain someone who was dreaming about eggs this morning.
I stretch and walk quietly out of the bathroom, down the hallway, down the stairs and into the living room. Kaori peers at me over the top of the couch. She waves the remote control mockingly in the air.
"Cartoons," she says definitively, turning around, her head disappearing behind the cushions. I grumble and walk towards her.
"No. Stock market report."
She shakes her head. "Nope. I got here first. Cartoons."
"Stock market," I growl dangerously.
"Cartoons."
"We'll just see about that."
She watches me with apprehensive eyes as I walk to the TV unit and turn on the VCR. I switch it to TV and grab the VCR remote. I turn on the stock market report. Koari hisses air through her nose and changes the TV channel, causing the picture to go static.
We glare at each other again. This way neither of us is getting to watch what we want. I put my hands on my hips. She crosses her against her chest and sits back. Stubborn. Can't imagine where she got that from.
"Fine," I say at last. "We'll compromise. Let me watch the stock market report for ten minutes and then I'll watch cartoons with you."
She eyes me warily. "You'll watch them –with- me? You won't leave and go read the paper?"
Crap. I'd forgotten about the paper. She sees the hesitancy flicker in my eyes and she steels herself again. "Nope. It's static then. Either you watch with me or we watch nothing."
I want my stocks. I chew on the inside of my lip and then flick the VCR off. "Deal."
She smiles indulgently and tosses me the remote control. I grumble as I sit down on the couch and she pulls her self into my lap, wiggling until she's sandwiched herself between my legs. She sits Indian style and leans her head back against my chest. The weight feels nice. I can still remember when her whole body could curl up against my chest…. My little Kaori-chan. I kiss the top of her head and she takes one of my arms, hugging it tightly. We watch the stock report in silence.
And as my ten minutes ends and we switch the channel over to cartoons, I realize that I'd much rather be sitting here with the daughter I share with Ken than reading the paper. I run a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back from her face and letting them spring forward again. She tips her head back and smiles at me.
"I love you, Kao-chan."
"Yeah, I know."
I squeeze her against me and blow on the back of her neck. Now who have I heard say that before? "Yeah, you know, huh? What kind of response is that?"
She laughs and tries to pull away, but I'm holding her too tightly. "Well it's true!" she cries. "You tell me you love me all the time, even if you don't say it out loud so much."
I'm taken aback. That's not the kind of thing you expect to hear from a nine year old. I gaze down at her and she grins at me. "You're a very special little girl, Kao-chan," I say softly.
"Yeah, I know that too."
I shake my head and snort. Smart-ass. Guess we know where she get that from, too.
*** Hey, hey please go read my other fics too. No one has appreciated the UBA, I feel sad. It' sooo terribly amusing. And I like the Series of Unfortunate Events stories too, sure there are only two so far, but I find them amusing. OH, THE BLATANT SELF-PROMOTION!! IT OVERWHELMS!!
Comments: Yeah, it's… more Baby Talk. Bleh. I'm beginning to run a bit dry on ideas. Anything anyone out there wants to see happen? Milestones I'm missing in the life of Kaori? I'm open to ideas! Help me! Or I could just stop all together… regain my sanity… get some sleep… but why? Um… forgive me for the lameness of Omi's section. I wanted it to be not lame, but failed. Oops. Berate me later. Ok, so enjoy. Marty is going to go and eat a donut and then maybe go to bed. Probably not, but she should. (Hear that Marty, even you think you should go to bed.) Ok, so R&R, please! And I'm serious about suggestions! Either e-mail me or write them in the review, I don't care. But I'm running out of juice. *Glag*
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Another coughing fit. It feels like my chest is going to explode with each wracking cough. I hate being sick. I hate it, hate it, hate it! I can't go to work, I can't go outside, I can't go on missions, and worst of all I can't see Kao-chan -or- Aya. I'm miserable and all alone. I've been in this bed for three days and it doesn't look like I'm going to be leaving anytime soon. I have to be completely recovered. We can't take any chances.
I grumble and fall back onto the sweaty, stuffy pillows. I want to see them so badly. I want to hold Kaori in my arms and feel Aya's arms around me. But I can't. That's just the way it is, get used to it. But it still isn't fair that I have to be locked in this room because I caught the flu. If I could just see Aya, I'd be happy. Hell if I could see Omi or Youji it would be better than nothing! But the chance of infecting one of them is too great. And if they get sick and don't know it and are around the baby… if Kaori gets sick…. I don't even want to think about it.
That cold she caught scared the crap out of us. It isn't unusual for babies to get sick, but things are different with Kaori. We could have lost her and we had no idea. See, Kaori isn't like most children. Well obviously. But we have to be so careful now. The doctor who was in charge of her gestation ran some tests after her recovery in the hospital. Turns out her immune system is full of more holes than Swiss cheese. Most children, he'd explained, gather antibodies and immunities as they develop in their mother's womb, the exchange of fluids and nutrition allows this, letting the baby inherit many of the mother's defenses against disease. Kaori didn't have a mother. Kaori had an artificial womb and a large machine. To top that off Kaori didn't have anyone to breast-feed her either, another way in which children obtain a strong immune system.
The doctor assured us that by the time Kaori was old enough to start school she should have developed a perfectly normal immune system all on her own just through contact with everyday germs around her. But if she get sick now her reactions will most likely be very violent. Any tiny disease or virus could be deadly to her right now. That's why we have to be so careful.
That's why I am locked in this room, unable to see or touch anyone. Of course someone brings me food and meds every few hours, but they don't stay long, and it certainly isn't Aya. A few times he's stood in the doorway and talked with me for a couple minutes, but that isn't nearly enough. I feel like a plague bearer. Then again I suppose that to Kaori that's exactly what I am. That's why I have to get better.
Here comes the coughing again. I should just lie back and go to sleep. Take another dose of NyQuil and nock myself out. Yeah… that's what I'll do.
A few hours later I'm pulled out of my sleep haze by the sound of his voice. I struggle towards wakefulness.
"Aité," he calls, he sounds far away, "Come on, Kenken, I came up here to see you."
I struggle to sit up. "Wha?" I call blearily, opening my eyes. Itai… sickness headache. He's standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. A smile flickers across his face as I struggle to prop myself up against the pillows.
"Hi, koi," I whisper, it's hard to talk what with all the coughing I've been doing.
I realize that he's holding Kaori in his arms, cradled against his chest. My eyes widen. "Should she be here?" I croak.
He looks down at our daughter and then back at me. I can see my need for him reflected in his dark, beautiful eyes. He wants to be with me as badly as I want him to be. He shifts his weight. "I don't think your flu is airborne. Besides we're far enough away."
I stretch out my arms and furrow my eyebrows. "Too far."
He smiles sadly. "Don't tempt me, koi."
"I know," I sigh and lie back with a grunt. I snuffle loudly, trying in vain to clear my sinuses of mucus. I only succeed in giving myself an even worse headache.
"Are you feeling any better?" he asks.
I shrug and stare at the ceiling. Why am I doing that? I should be staring at Aya, getting as much out of him as I can. I sit back up and train my eyes on his lean body. "A little. It would help if I could get a little TLC."
He stares at me for a moment and then says, "Rap music?"
I giggle, the action throws me into a mini coughing fit. "No," I say through my wheezing, "it stands for 'tender, loving, care' in English."
Aya shrugs and shifts Kaori in his arms. She makes a squeaking sound and burbles happily. "Don't use obscure references in other languages. It's confusing."
"Well sheesh, my attempt at humor is DOA, and I guess I'm SOL."
He glares at me, but doesn't say anything. I smile at him sweetly and after a moment he crumbles. "Is there anything you need?"
"Yeah, you on a plate."
"As fun as that sounds I don't think it will help you get better."
"Probably not, but I'm seriously going crazy in here! How much longer do I have to stay like this?" I cry.
"Until you are better, Ken. I don't know how long that's going to be. A few more days, maybe a week or more. You aren't the only one going crazy, aité. Believe me. I want you out of here as much as you do. It's cold sleeping alone," he says softly. God I want to touch him. This is cruel and unusual punishment.
I remember the last time I got sick. Aya was all over me. Doting 24/7. He brought me soup, rubbed my back, held my hair out of my face when I had to hurl, kept me company, read to me, whatever I wanted. It was great. Of course the fact that I was violently ill kinda took the charm off, but it was a million time better than this. I'd do the same for Aya in a heartbeat, but funny thing is… he never gets sick.
"Yeah, well. It's hotter than hell in here. I'm tired of smelling like a sick person," I whine.
"You are a sick person."
"I know, but I'm tired of it!"
"Then concentrate on getting better. Now are you sure there's nothing you want?" he asks again.
I shake my head. "The only things I want I can't have. I think I'll just go back to sleep."
"Suit yourself. I should get back to the shop." He shifts Kaori in her arms and holds her up so that she can see me. "Say bye to Daddy."
She smiles and squeals in delight at seeing me. Her little arms wave wildly and she giggles. Aww, she misses me too. I wave at her and smile. "Bai bai, Kao-chan. Daddy loves you. Daddy loves you so much that he imposes exile upon himself for you, yes he does!" I babble in baby talk. She giggles again.
"Sleep tight, aité. I'll check on you later, ok?"
"I'll be here."
I watch him turn and shut the door softly. I listen as his soft, purposeful footsteps recede down the hallway. Alone again. I fall back onto the pillows once more and stare at the ceiling. I keep Aya in my mind's eye, letting it wander over his body. I haven't touched him in almost four days. Four days without so much as a kiss, so much as a caress. Bleh. I want my koibito.
Snuffling back some more snot that threatens to escape my nose I turn over onto my side and curl up. Oh well, I'll just think about what it will be like when I finally do get my hands on him again. Oh yeah. You just wait, Aya-kun, I'm going to get better. And when I do… oh the possibilities.
* * * * * *
The lurid light from the TV screen flashes on and off, casting strange shadows around the room. I have no idea how late it is. I must have dozed off. I peer blearily around the room. The VCR says that it's only 11:34. The others won't be back for another hour at least.
A little pang of guilt niggles at my stomach. I could have decided to go with them, but for some reason I just didn't want to have any part in this mission. It seemed pointless. One of those missions where you know it isn't going to change anything. I don't often pass when Manx brings us something new, but this time I just didn't want to go… and I hadn't been feeling up to snuff lately anyway, so I stayed home.
I wonder if they'd be done by now if I'd gone along.
The channel on the TV changes rapidly, flashing through several shows and then stopping. Someone else is here?
I prop myself up and look around. Ah, of course. Aya-chan is lying on the floor, facing away from me. Kaori must be curled up against her… or maybe she's asleep in bed by now. It's way past her bedtime. That doesn't always mean she'll go to bed though.
I make a little sound to let Aya know that I'm awake. She peers over her shoulder and blinks sleepily at me. "Did I wake you up with the TV?" she asks softly.
I shake my head. "I don't think so. I just kinda woke up. What are you doing on the floor?"
She turns away and lays her head back down against her arm. "Well, I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep. I never can when I know Ran is still out. I thought I'd watch some TV. Kaori was sleeping with me, and I woke her up so she said she wanted to come along. You were on the couch and I wanted to lie down, so I grabbed the floor."
"Oh," I say, clearing my throat, which is thick with sleep. "Do you want the couch?"
She shakes her head. "No. It's ok."
I lie back against the couch cushions and try to watch the TV, but I find myself watching Aya instead. After a few moments I slide off the couch and crawl towards her. She tilts her head back and watches me.
"Where's Kaori?" I ask, leaning over Aya's side. "There she is." She's curled up against Aya's chest, legs tucked up to her chin. Doesn't look very comfortable to me, but kids never really seem to care. I reach over Aya and run my hand over Kaori's sleeping head. She's so precious, and so big too. I can't believe that she'll be three soon. It seems like we just brought her home….
As I get lost in my reverie over Kaori I suddenly realize that I'm leaning over Ran's little sister, dangerously entwined in her personal space. I pull back and begin to sit up. Aya shifts to look up at me, she's smiling. Her hand reaches up to touch my face, fingers lingering along my cheek. I smile weakly. I feel her hand begin to pull my face downwards, and our lips meet for a moment, softly brushing against each other. A little shiver runs though my body.
It's not the first time we've kissed. No, there was that day in the park when we got 'lost' playing hide and seek with the others and Kao-chan. I don't think we saw them again until around seven o'clock. That was the first time we kissed, the first time Aya told me how fed up she was getting waiting for me to make a move, the first time I let myself be with Aya like we were just two young people who might have something and not like she was Ran's little sister.
Of course since then the awkwardness had only increased, because now I knew for certain that Aya was feeling what I was feeling, and it made it so much harder to try to ignore. Then there was the fact that Aya wanted to do anything but ignore it, and was pretty open about it. I couldn't explain to her how it wasn't going to work, how Ran was going to kill me if he found out. She laughed at this. She wasn't around to see Aya-kun. She doesn't know. She's never seen him kill, seen him tear his own life apart to keep her safe and happy.
As our lips part I pull back and look down at her sadly. She's so pretty. Her eyes are soft and kind. She isn't like other girls.
"Aya-chan… you know how…," I begin, but she cuts me off covering my mouth with the tips of her fingers.
"Omi, can't you just enjoy it? Ran's not even here. Do you really think he'd care so much?" she asks, her eyes intense and slightly angry.
I sigh and shake my head, pushing her hand away. "I can't explain, Aya."
She turns away again, rolling back onto her side. I stare at her back. I want to pursue my feelings for her, but I don't want to complicate things. I can't afford that right now, but the way I feel I can't afford to keep pushing her away either.
I make a decision and curl up behind her, wrapping one arm around her stomach, pulling her closer to me. I breathe softly against the back of her head. She pulls my other arm under her head and uses it as a pillow. It's nice to be like this. I hear Kaori snuffle and twist in Aya's arm. We don't talk. We just lie on the floor together.
After a long time I softly say, "Aya, if we do this, it has to be between us, and only us. Ok?"
She shifts under my arm and places her hand over mine on her stomach. "I guess I'll have to take what I can get," she says sarcastically.
"Look, at least for now that's all I can give you. Maybe… maybe in a little while we can tell Ran, but right now I don't want him to know. I'm sorry, Aya-chan."
She shrugs. "Like I said, I'll take what I can get."
I squeeze her a little closer. I like the way she feels against me. So warm, so soft… all curves. We doze off; the flash of the TV screen flickers behind my eyelids.
It isn't until I hear the sound of voices, voices much louder than the TV, that I realize I fell completely asleep. I force myself into wakefulness and listen.
"I wonder if everyone's in bed. It's quiet." Ran's voice.
"I don't know. I thought I heard the TV. I'll go check." Ken's voice.
Shit. I sit up, pulling away from Aya-chan, scrambling sleepily back towards the couch. I can hear Ken getting closer. I give up on trying to get back on the couch and slump against it, feigning sleep. At least I'm no longer entangled with Aya-chan's body.
"Well, who dropped the can of sleeping gas in here?" Ken asks quietly. I can feel his eyes peering around the room. "And how the hell did Omittchi end up like that? Weird. Oh well, might as well wake them up."
Ken walks first to Aya-chan and shakes her awake. "Omi?" I hear her say blearily.
"No, it's me," Ken says.
"Oh… Ken? Are you guys back already?"
"It would appear so. Hey, Omittchi, wake it up, kiddo!" he calls to me. I begin to rub my eyes and pretend to wake up, getting shakily to my feet. Aya-chan is staring at me from the floor. I look back at her and shrug.
Aya walks in. "Here you are."
"They were all passed out on the floor. Too much TV," Ken quips, bending to pick up Kao-chan.
She yawns wide and says, "Hi, Daddy."
"Hi, sweetness. Let's get you off to bed. Night you two," he calls over his shoulder to Aya and I. Ran nods to both of us and follows Ken out of the room.
I glance over at Aya-chan. She looks back at me for a minute and then smiles slowly. "Good night, Omi-kun. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah. Good night."
* * * * * *
I walk slowly into the living room of the tiny apartment I share with Asami. We've been living here for over two years now, and sometimes I still miss the Koneko. Not often, but sometimes. I lean against the wall and watch my wife braid Kaori's long, dark hair.
Fujimaya and Ken went out of town for a little vacation this weekend, and Omi and Aya-chan have enough to deal with what with her having the twins and all. Cute little kids those two. Anyway, so Kaori's with us for the weekend. I take a drag on my cigarette. I thought I was going to kick this habit? Oh well.
Asami's fingers work quickly, pulling Kaori's long hair into two straight French braids. She loves having the kids over, she had a big family. Something like four siblings. I can't imagine. I've met all of them, but I can't keep their name and faces straight.
The tater-tot bounces impatiently in her lap. "Are you almost done, Aunt Asami?"
"Almost, Kao-chan, just be patient," she says, smiling. She's so beautiful when she smiles. The way her eyes crinkle behind those geeky glasses of hers…. I sigh, closing my eyes against the flood of emotions that I have to constantly hold a bay every time I see her. It's so unfair… so goddamned unfair.
She finishes Kaori's braids. "Ok, you're done."
"Whee! Thank's Aunt Asami. Hey, Uncle Youji, are you ready? Remember you promised to take me to the park to feed the ducks," she cries running up to me and yanking on my pants leg. I watch Asami watch Kaori and see the longing in her eyes. It breaks my heart.
"Yeah, of course I remember, tater-tot. Go get your coat and we'll go," I answer not looking at her.
She runs off without another word.
We tried to have children. I thought giving fatherhood another try would be a good thing. Asami wanted kids so badly. She loved Kenji, loved having him around, but of course there's not a whole lot of joint in that joint custody agreement. Nothing worked. She kept miscarrying. Three miscarriages, if that's not enough to break any parent's heart I don't know what is. Of course in the end we went to the doctors. Now I wish we never had. Ignorance is bliss after all….
I walk across the room and take her hand in mine, pulling her up from the couch. I put one arm around her back and we waltz around the room. I improvise music. She laughs, throwing her head back.
"You're such a goof-ball, Kudou," she says musically. "What did a guy like you ever see in a straight laced woman like me?"
Everything. How can she even ask? She's perfect, more perfect than Asuka, and it isn't easy to out do a dead woman. I pull her closer to me and whisper in her ear, "I saw someone who was exactly what I wanted. White collar job and all."
"You are soooo charming," she quips sarcastically. She smiles at me brightly, but as I gaze into her eyes sadness passes between us, smiles fading. She hugs me tightly and buries her face in my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Youji."
"Never apologize. You've made me happy, and that's enough. I don't need more," I whisper. And it's true. She's somehow made up for all the times before. She's made up for everything. But what's going to make up for this? We stand apart a little and I take her face in my hands. "Are you coming with us?"
She shakes her head and sighs. "No. I don't think so. I don't feel very good today. You know how it goes." She places a hand on her abdomen and casts her eyes away from me. Yeah, I know how it goes. I kiss her forehead.
She glances at the cigarette between my fingers. "I thought you were going to kick that habit."
I shrug. "You know how it goes."
"I don't want you following in my footsteps," she says seriously.
I smile distantly and take a drag. "Wouldn't be so bad."
She looks up at me. Her eyes are severe. I really shouldn't say things like that; it only upsets her.
"Don't say that, Youji. We've talked about this. When it's over… life will go on. Just make sure you remember that," she says softly, yanking on a piece of my hair. She smiles and walks away. "I'm going to go take a nap. See you when you get back."
"Sure."
Kaori comes running down the hallway and bumps into Asami. "Sorry, Aunt Asami. Aren't you coming with us?"
"No, sweetheart, I'm going to take nap instead. I'm kinda tired today."
"Oh, ok. Have a good nap." She watches Asami as she walks slowly to our room and shuts the door. Then her eyes, eyes so like Aya's, become trained on me. She wiggles her nose and comes to take my hand. As we walk to the door, slipping off our slippers and putting on our shoes she looks up at me. "Uncle Yotan?"
"Yes, tater-tot?"
"Aunt Asami is very sick, isn't she?"
I catch my breath and close my eyes. She's too damn perceptive, that one. After a moment I regain my composure and look down at the little girl I love like my own. "Yes, Kaori-chan, she is."
"Daddy and Papa told me. They said she might not get better. What's wrong with her?"
I blink my eyes and take her hand again, leading her down the porch of our apartment floor. "Do you know what cancer is, Kao-chan?"
She shakes her head, her tight braids bobbing back and forth.
"Well, cancer is a very bad thing that some people, very nice, wonderful people get. Aunt Asami has cancer in the place where she should be able to make babies. It's called 'ovarian cancer.'"
Kaori thinks about this for a few moments and then looks up at me her usually narrow eyes very wide. "What will happen if Aunt Asami doesn't get better? Will she die?"
I take a deep breath and face the inevitable answer that haunts me night and day. "Yes."
"You'll be very sad then, huh, Uncle Youji."
"I will be very sad, but grief is a part of life. You live on for the people you love."
"I'll be sad too. I think that everyone will be sad. I hope it doesn't happen for a long, long time," she murmurs.
"Me too, Kao-chan, me too. But maybe we can all help each other when we are sad," I say, squeezing her hand.
She squeezes back. "Yeah. I'll help you and you'll help me. It will be ok, Uncle Youji, because Aunt Asami is so wonderful now, that she'll be that wonderful forever. Even if she does die."
I fight back tears. The kid's so… I don't know, but she hits home. I smile sadly. "I love you, Kao-chan."
"I love you, too, Uncle Yotan."
* * * * * *
My eyes slowly open to the first soft glow of sunlight that pours in through the partially drawn blinds. I breathe deeply, taking in the warm comfort that surrounds me. Sitting up I run a hand through my hair and glance down at the person I love more than life itself. Didn't we say there weren't going to be any clichés? Oh well, it was my rule. I can break it if I want.
I watch his sides rise and fall with his soft breathing. I ache with love and longing just looking at him. He moans softly in his sleep and mumbles something about eggs. I laugh under my breath. Ken has a habit of talking in his sleep. I slide back down into the covers and slip my arms around his warm, beautiful body. He squirms as I pull him closer and press my lips to his in a tender kiss. I don't want him to wake up, but I can't help myself. I caress his face, feeling his smooth skin beneath my fingers. He wiggles against me and his eyes squinch up.
"Eggs… on toast," he murmurs. The tone of his voice makes it seem as if he's worried about these eggs.
I chuckle and kiss him again, nuzzling his cheek with my nose. "No eggs, just me."
There is a pause and then he wiggles again. "Koi…."
"Uh huh."
He takes a deep breath; he's still asleep. "Hi."
"Hi, aité. I'm going to get up now," I whisper to him, kissing his forehead.
"K," he murmurs and then burrows deeper into the covers. I gaze at him adoringly for a few more moments, kiss his sweet lips one more time, and then release him, rolling over out of bed.
It's cold out here. I grab a shirt and tighten the strings of my loose pajama pants, heading for the door. The door opens and shuts behind me, making a soft clicking sound. The carpet tickles my bare feet as I make my way to the bathroom. It's so quiet here in the mornings now. No tiny ones running around anymore. Not since Omi, Aya, and the twins moved into Youji and Asami's old apartment, and Youji moved back in with us. That's the way I want it to be. I don't want Youji living alone. Not right now.
Youji…. He's probably still asleep. At least he got over the insomnia. Sometimes life is just shit… just shit. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair as I switch on the bathroom light and make my way to the sink. I turn the tap on and begin to brush my teeth.
The door creaks open slowly and Kaori comes in, rubbing her eyes. She's an early riser, just like me. Without looking at me she bumps me with her hip to make me move over. "Morning," she yawns under her breath.
I don't say anything. I'm brushing my teeth. I watch her in the mirror as she reaches for her toothbrush and begins to brush her teeth as well. She's growing up so fast. She's almost ten, almost a double digit. Her long, messy hair falls over her shoulders and she sweeps it back with one hand as she spits into the sink. I tap her shoulder to let her know I need to do the same and she shifts out of my way.
I rinse my mouth and reach for the hairbrush on the counter coming to stand behind my daughter. She spits one last time into the sink and as she reaches for her cup I run my hand down the back of her head, pulling my fingers through the snarls. She winces, and fills her cup with water, rinsing and spitting.
I run the brush down the length of her dark hair and she tries to pull away. "Hold still," I grumble.
"You're pulling," she whines. "You always pull. Daddy never pulls."
I roll my eyes. Of course, Daddy never does anything wrong. I remember when it was me she used to cry for. When I was the one who could do no wrong. I put my other hand on the back of her head to keep the hair from pulling. I work slowly at the tangles. "Is that better?"
"Yes," she says grumpily, crossing her arms. I take my time running the brush through her hair. I don't know why, but I love brushing Kaori's hair. It's so long and smooth and dark. It's just like Ken's hair, soft and warm. She smells like Ken's shampoo and sandalwood incense. Ken claims that he read somewhere that the smell of sandalwood increases brain cell activity, so he burns it in Kaori's room every night before she falls asleep. I think it makes her smell like a hippy, but whatever.
She stands patiently before me, hands clasped on the counter. When I look up from her hair I notice that she's staring at me intensely in the mirror. I stare back, both of our faces are blank masks that betray no emotion. We play this stupid game almost every morning. Our eyes bore passively into each other in the mirror, identical eyes, identical glares.
Suddenly she bursts out into a fit of giggles and smiles a big goofy grin that looks just like Ken's. She laughs and laughs just like my koibito.
"I win," I say, continuing my brushing.
She tries to compose herself and glare again, but her face cracks and she giggles some more. "You always win. I'm just not grumpy enough."
"Who's grumpy?" I say incredulously. I start to tickle her mercilessly, growling into her ear. She squeals in delight and gasps for air. She kicks and giggles.
"Papa! St-stop!" she cries twisting in my hands.
I stop and peer down into her face as she tips her head back and looks up at me. I lean down and she stands on her tiptoes until our noses practically touch. She furrows her eyebrows and grr's at me. I kiss the tip of her nose loudly.
"Eww," she cries, rubbing her hand across her nose. "Wet kiss!"
I roll my eyes. "Nuh uh."
"Uh huh, you did so give me a wet kiss. Bleh."
I pat the top of her head and look at her in the mirror again. "You want breakfast?"
She shakes her head. "Nope. I'll eat when Daddy gets up."
"Me too." She smiles again and then dodges away from me, running out of the bathroom. I shake my head. She's so spazzy. Not unlike a certain someone who was dreaming about eggs this morning.
I stretch and walk quietly out of the bathroom, down the hallway, down the stairs and into the living room. Kaori peers at me over the top of the couch. She waves the remote control mockingly in the air.
"Cartoons," she says definitively, turning around, her head disappearing behind the cushions. I grumble and walk towards her.
"No. Stock market report."
She shakes her head. "Nope. I got here first. Cartoons."
"Stock market," I growl dangerously.
"Cartoons."
"We'll just see about that."
She watches me with apprehensive eyes as I walk to the TV unit and turn on the VCR. I switch it to TV and grab the VCR remote. I turn on the stock market report. Koari hisses air through her nose and changes the TV channel, causing the picture to go static.
We glare at each other again. This way neither of us is getting to watch what we want. I put my hands on my hips. She crosses her against her chest and sits back. Stubborn. Can't imagine where she got that from.
"Fine," I say at last. "We'll compromise. Let me watch the stock market report for ten minutes and then I'll watch cartoons with you."
She eyes me warily. "You'll watch them –with- me? You won't leave and go read the paper?"
Crap. I'd forgotten about the paper. She sees the hesitancy flicker in my eyes and she steels herself again. "Nope. It's static then. Either you watch with me or we watch nothing."
I want my stocks. I chew on the inside of my lip and then flick the VCR off. "Deal."
She smiles indulgently and tosses me the remote control. I grumble as I sit down on the couch and she pulls her self into my lap, wiggling until she's sandwiched herself between my legs. She sits Indian style and leans her head back against my chest. The weight feels nice. I can still remember when her whole body could curl up against my chest…. My little Kaori-chan. I kiss the top of her head and she takes one of my arms, hugging it tightly. We watch the stock report in silence.
And as my ten minutes ends and we switch the channel over to cartoons, I realize that I'd much rather be sitting here with the daughter I share with Ken than reading the paper. I run a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back from her face and letting them spring forward again. She tips her head back and smiles at me.
"I love you, Kao-chan."
"Yeah, I know."
I squeeze her against me and blow on the back of her neck. Now who have I heard say that before? "Yeah, you know, huh? What kind of response is that?"
She laughs and tries to pull away, but I'm holding her too tightly. "Well it's true!" she cries. "You tell me you love me all the time, even if you don't say it out loud so much."
I'm taken aback. That's not the kind of thing you expect to hear from a nine year old. I gaze down at her and she grins at me. "You're a very special little girl, Kao-chan," I say softly.
"Yeah, I know that too."
I shake my head and snort. Smart-ass. Guess we know where she get that from, too.
*** Hey, hey please go read my other fics too. No one has appreciated the UBA, I feel sad. It' sooo terribly amusing. And I like the Series of Unfortunate Events stories too, sure there are only two so far, but I find them amusing. OH, THE BLATANT SELF-PROMOTION!! IT OVERWHELMS!!
