Disclaimer: The boys belong to other people. I make no profit from my usage of them. Although if I could I would pimp them out. and that would make me very rich indeed.

Comments: After much disinterest on my part and the rather lengthy failure of FF.net I finally got around to writing another installment of Baby Talk. As usual I like Youji's part the best. The first part is rather stupid, but for some reason I could actually see it happening in the show. All those stupid high school girls. Anyway. The POVs are a bit switched around. Actually just Omi and Youji's flip-flopped. So it's R,O,Y,K,Ka. That almost spells something.. Anyway, enjoy! Or don't it's up to you. And since FF.net was down for so long you need to R&R like nobody's business, because the things that I posted during the three hour window over the past four weeks didn't get to be reviewed! Ah. so sad. So either go and read them and review them or. well no just do that. Anyway, later, y'all. Wheee! *snarfs last coconut poky*

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So many sounds. The tinkling of a bell, high voices, the clinking of glass against glass, cars in the street, ruffled fabric, the shuffle of feet, Youji flirting shamelessly. I stand in the center of the shop, my eyes closed. Someone bumps against me, apologizing under their breath. I don't mind. I'm listening; listening to one sound among the many. The sound of my daughter's laughter.

I used to get nervous when she was in the shop with us. I used to be afraid that she'd get lost or wander away or stolen even. But now I don't worry anymore, because there's at least one advantage to having a throng of teenaged girls around. they love babies. That's actually the only advantage. Other than that they are annoying and rather despicable. But during the rush time it's like having a free babysitting service that comes to your door. and if your lucky even buys something. And they make her laugh. Putting up with clingy high schoolers is worth it just to hear my daughter's laughter.

Cool air tickles my ear, a soft breeze blowing against my neck. My lips twitch at the corners. "Hey, dream lover, wake up. You have customers," he murmurs into my ear before walking away. I glance at him from the corner of my eye. Ken. I can't think of enough words to describe him, so I won't. Sexy pretty much sums it up. and playful. and fun. and sweet, caring, wild, amazing, beautiful, maddening, fuckable. I thought I wasn't going to do that. Oh well, he just gets me all ahead of myself.

As I smile a little more and squeeze my tongue between my lips I notice for the first time that I am surrounded by a throng of people who all seem intent on staring at me. I blush uncharacteristically, and put my poker face back on, furrowing my eyebrows. "If you aren't going to buy anything.," I begin loudly.

"Uh. actually. We all want to buys something," a girl standing close to me breaks in.

"Huh?"

"Yes, we all have purchases. We were just waiting for you to man the counter. you do work here, right?"

I force myself not to look embarrassed. It never used to be like this. I can remember a time when I would never have been distracted at work. when taking care of business was all that mattered. I think of the sound of Kaori's laughter and the feel of Ken's breath blowing against my neck. But there are more important things now.

Smiling distractedly I motion to the counter. "Yes, sorry."

When I am done ringing up the customers I lean forward, my hair brushing forward against my cheek. I prop my chin in my hand and close my eyes again. I can't hear Kaori anymore. I glance around, eyes darting first one way and then the other. Youji and Omi are standing together at the arranging table, arguing about some bouquet order. Omi keeps pointing at a large bundle of Baby's Breath as Youji waves an even larger clump of ferns in the bishounen's face. What a pair. Honestly it seems like all they do is argue with each other, and yet in the end Youji and Omi have a closeness. a mutual understanding that goes beyond anything I ever had with either of them. It's like an unspoken pact to take care of each other, no matter how much they bitch about it. That's why Omi keeps taking Youji's cigarettes and flushing them down the toilette and why Youji drags Omi out of the darkness of his room and away from the lurid glow of his computer monitor into social interaction against his will.

We have it pretty good, the four of us. Even if it's all we have. we have each other. Five of us. We all have Kaori-chan after all.

"Fujimiya-san?"

I stand up straight and turn around. Some of the high school girls are standing before the flower case, Kaori in one of their arms. I raise my eyebrows to let them know I am listening. It's best if I verbalize as little as possible. I realized this a long time ago.

"We need to leave, and just wanted to give Kao-chan to someone before we went. You seem to be the least busy," she says quickly walking towards me and holding my daughter out.

I nod and reach my arms out towards Kaori. She furrows her brows and pouts at me as I lift her out of the nubile, uniform clad girl's arms. Kaori sticks out her tongue. a bad habit she learned from a certain young uncle. and then starts to fuss. It's embarrassing when your own daughter decides to reject you in front of a crowd of pubescent girls. I draw her closer.

"ArigatOW! Itai!" I cry snapping my head back as Kaori glares at me, yanking hard on one of my ear tails. She pulls again and this time I just glare back.

The group of girls all try to stifle giggles, courteously covering their mouths with their hands and looking down at their feet.

"I guess you weren't her first pick, Fujimiya-san," the girl who had been holding her giggles. The others giggle a little louder.

I hold Kaori out in front of me, shaking my head, hoping she'll let go of my hair. "Apparently not," I agree.

For some reason the girls decided this is a good time to get excited. I told you. it's best not to say anything at all.

"Perhaps she'd rather go to Omi-kun!" one of the girls says loudly. A few nod and agree with her.

"Or maybe to Ken, he's her daddy after all!" another pipes up. Like it's the most intriguing thing she's ever thought of.

What am I, chopped liver?

"Let's find out!" a few squeal. There is a chorus of things like, "Oh yes!" "Let's!" "Good idea!" They scamper away only a few staying to watch me with wide, over interested eyes as I stand, holding my daughter at arms length. Kaori tugs on my hair again and begins to fuss, squirming in my grasp and making exasperated noises.

"Hey, I was with a customer!" Ken cries as several short-skirted girls drag him up beside me. They cling to his arms and giggle stupidly. He's taken ladies. I hate high school girls. Ken looks up at me in exasperation and I can't do anything but roll my eyes.

Kao-chan looks over at him and squinches up her nose. She raspberries, a thin line of clear drool dribbling down her chin.

"Well excuuuse me," Ken quips, trying to shrug off a couple of girls.

"What are you doing?" Omi protests thinly as he too is brought up to me. "Youji's going to put those ferns in there if I don't stop him!"

"Oh, it's ok, Omi-kun. We only need you for a minute," a girl says in a whiney, simpering voice.

"Oh, hi, Ran, Ken. Kao-chan." Kaori's name is intoned in a high-pitched baby-talk voice. Omi wiggles his fingers at her. Kaori glances away from Ken and gives Omi a disapproving look and then tugs sharply on my hair again.

"Ahhthhp! Ahhhnn. Baloo shithpidth," she burbles.

"Ok!" one of the girls squeals. "Now who does she want to go to? Ken or Omi?!"

Ken and Omi exchange a glance and then glance at me. I say nothing. This is stupid. I thought they were leaving..

"Well, maybe we should put her on the floor and see where she wants to go," another girl pipes up.

"Yeah! Or maybe if they each hold her she'll want to stay with one. We should pass her around!"

"Oh, why don't we just ask her?!" yet another giggles.

"She doesn't talk yet," Ken and I say at the same time. Creepy. We do that a lot lately. We exchange a glance and he grins at me impudently.

The girls titter. They must think that's just so cute.

"Well, let's ask her anyway! Maybe she'll point or something!" the girl presses. The others think this is a good idea, and since it was rather obvious from the beginning that none of us had any say in the matter, Ken, Omi, and I stand by patiently as the girls crowd in closer toward Kaori. She looks at me and widens her eyes, so serious.

One of the girls, the same one who had been holding her earlier, comes to stand next to me and looks up at my daughter. "Kaori-chan? Who do you want to hold you?" she asks slowly. She pantomimes just in case. Kaori blinks and then looks at me, sniffing loudly. She takes a moment and then swivels her head to look at Ken. He grins and raises his eyebrows. She curls her lip and sticks out her tongue.

I can't help but giggle. Then she glances at Omi who seems more preoccupied with whether or not Youji is sticking ferns in his bouquet than if Kaori wants him to hold her. She rolls her eyes and sighs in exasperation. Once more she looks at each of us and at the end ends up giving my hair another tug.

"Aww, she didn't choose anyone. I'll ask again. Who do you want to hold you, Kao?" the girl repeats. I'm sure Kaori has no idea what she's saying.

Kaori sighs despondently and then raises her head, her eyes widening as if she notices something for the first time. I glance over my shoulder and follow her gaze. Ken and Omi do the same. She's looking at the arranging table, eyes glued on a certain sandy blonde assassin in an Armani sweater.

"Youji!" she screams.

I'm not sure which shocks me more, the sheer volume of her voice or the fact that she just said something intelligible. For the first time.

I hear Ken gasp next to me and it sounds like he almost inhaled his tongue. I look at him, he looks at me, we both look at Youji.

Passive green eyes look up from the table. Youji straightens, a piece of fern dangling out of his mouth, and trains his gaze on us. He yawns. "What's going on over there?" he asks languidly.

"Youji! Youji!" Kaori squeals again, bouncing in my arms.

"What is it, tater-tot?" Youji drawls and then stretches, ambling towards us. Kao reaches for him and wiggles. I turn, we all turn. Youji leans over the counter and takes Kaori from my hands without so much as a by your leave. She giggles and puts her hands on his cheeks, almost whacking her head against him in her excitement.

"Youji. Ouji! Ji ji!" she babbles.

"You wanna come back to the table and make flower arrangements with me? Huh? Is that what you want, tater-tot? Well, let's go, come on," he coos. He ambles away.

There is general gaping in Youji's direction. He bounces Kaori a bit and then finally notices.

"What?"

"She just said your name!" Ken blurts.

Youji looks around and shrugs. "Yeah. and? She's been saying my name for almost two weeks," he says flatly.

Ken's and my mouths both fall open at the same time. Omi giggles. The girls begin to disperse, annoyed that Kaori didn't pick who they thought she would.

"She's been speaking your name for almost two weeks?!" Ken cries incredulously. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well. I figured you guys would have heard her already. Not like it's her first word or anything, right?"

The silence says it all. Understanding slowly dawns on Youji and his green eyes slowly grow in size. "Wait. you mean that my name -is- her first word?!" he cries. "That's awesome!" He starts to laugh.

Omi snickers under his breath. Ken and I exchange exasperated glances. Aren't little kids supposed to say things like Dada and Mama for their first word? Isn't that how this is supposed to work?

Ken smiles and then puts his arms around me, sensing my disappointment. He puts his head under my chin and squeezes me lightly. "Well, at least she's talking."

"Yeah, at least."

I have a bad feeling that this just may be the beginning of a disturbing pattern.

* * * * * *

That's weird. Blink blink. I know I saved that file right here. I put it on the desktop. and. well, granted it was two o'clock in the morning, so I might -not- have remembered to save it and my confidence that I did is only induced by my sleep deprivation.oh well. There's a hard copy on disk around here somewhere. Now where is that disk?

I bend down, swiveling around in the computer chair. Peering under the desk I push some papers aside, move the printer, flip through a few manuals and then sit back up.

"Huh. Now what in the world did I do with that thing?" I hiss under my breath. I start flipping through the case files on the desk, but to no avail. I need that disk. It's got the mission reports for the last three months on it! How could I have been so careless? I'm never this careless. ever! I'm not like Ken, after all.

Deciding to check the floor one more time I bend down and begin to push things aside. Maybe it fell down behind here.. I hear what sounds like bare feet on the mission room stairs. I pause, my ears pricking up. It's probably one of the guys. But why would they have bare feet? Youji's probably trying to play a joke on me. Haha, very funny Yotan, but it isn't going to work. Not by a long shot.

I sit up and spin around in my chair, leaping to my feet and whooping. "Haha! I know you're there, you sneaky little bastard!"

A pair of big, indigo eyes stares back at me from a small, elfin face. I clamp my mouth shut and I can't tell who looks more surprised, the intruder or me.

"Kaori-chan, what on earth are you doing down here?!" I nearly shout, backing towards the chair. This is not good. This is the mission room, for god's sake! She's not supposed to even know this room is here, let alone come walking into it all by herself. If she starts learning things down here it's going to be my ass in a sling for being the one that found out. Kill the messenger.

Her mouth falls open and she tries to take a big gulp of air, but doesn't seem to succeed. She backs up, hiccuping slightly. She's in her nighty, her hair is all disheveled, she looks as surprised to see me as I do to see her. "Shuukufu*.," she whispers quietly. She looks like she's gonna make a break for the stairs. Something in her hands catches the light, shining metallically.

"What do you have, Kaori?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

She backs up. "Nothing."

Her eyes dart towards the stairs and her toes twitch. She makes a break for it. She's fast. But I'm much faster. I'm trained to be. Before she even knows what hit her I have her by the back of her nightgown and am dragging her over to the couch. She squeals. I drop her onto the cloth-covered cushions and stare down at her, doing my best to look like a big mean uncle. I'm not sure how good of a job I'm doing, because I'm no good at the crime and punishment shtick. I'm usually the comfort guy. But right about now I want to know what she's doing in the mission room with my missing disk. She looks up at me with a stunned expression, her little mouth working furiously over words that aren't coming out.

"Kaori, what are you doing down here?"

"Um. ah, er. I . I. I dunno. It's jus the basement. I was. looking for.."

"For?"

She averts her eyes and draws her legs up to her body. She shrugs and puts two fingers in her mouth, brushing her hair back with the other hand. She sniffs and then starts to cry. Two big fat, salty tears roll down her cheek and that's it. It's over for me. I sigh and sit down next to her, letting her curl up in the crook of my arm. I rub her back.

"Aw, Kaori-hime. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, but you aren't supposed to come down here. How did you find out about this room?" I ask softly.

She shakes her head. And sniffles again. "The crazy lady," she says very softly.

"Who?!"

She looks up at me with big eyes. "The crazy lady with the weird hair and the funny hat. She's quiet, but I always notice when she comes. I saw her come down here one time. And. and then I saw the stairs.."

And the rest is history. I pat her back. "You mean, Manx. The lady who does our bookkeeping, right?" At least that's what we tell her Manx does. You can't have a strange lady hanging around all the time and not have some explaining to do.

Kaori nods slowly and then sits up sharply as if she just remembered something. She holds her hands out and lowers her eyes, bowing to me slightly. "Here," she whispers.

In her hands is my missing data disk. I take it from her gently and tuck it in my shirt pocket. "Where did you get this?"

She looks up at me and then peers over her shoulder and points to my computer in the corner. She bites her lip as her eyes fill up with tears again.

"Why did you take it? What were you doing down here in the first place?" I ask in a soft, but firm voice.

"Uh. I dunno. I was just looking at your computer, shukufu.. I thought. I thought maybe it was a game. But it wasn't. It just had a lot of files on it. And none of them were game files, so I was bringing it back. To put it back on your desk. I thought you were in bed," she says.

I stare at her sternly for a few moments. She thought -I- was in bed, huh? "Did you look at the files?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even. I know that Kaori is only a little girl, but she's much smarter than your average little girl . The possibility that she read the files and -understood- what she was reading is remote at best, highly unlikely at worst, but I still can't keep from feeling nervous. My palms sweat a little and I feel tense.

She bites her lip. "Just a couple. I. I didn't really read them. much. They were long, and not games so. I didn't really. read them."

I lower my gaze and look at her intensely. She fidgets.

"How often do you come down here?"

She shrugs. "Sometimes. It's quiet. I just like to sit and think. It smells nice down here," she answers quietly.

I put one hand on her shoulder and tilt her chin up to look at me. "Well, this is one of the places that we, and Manx, work. It isn't a part of the house that you can play in, Kaori-chan. You aren't to come down her on your own ever again. Do you understand me? And you are definitely not to, under any circumstances, play with my computer. Are we clear, missy?"

Her eyes widen and she gulps, nodding briskly. "You won't tell my daddies, will you, shukufu?" she hisses urgently.

I roll my eyes back in mock thought. "Well. I guess I could let it slide this once if you promise, -promise-, not to ever do anything like this ever again."

She nods again even more vigorously and then throws herself into my arms. She squeezes me tightly and kisses my face. "Thank you, Uncle Omi! I love you so much. And I promise. I do!"

I pat her back and chuckle softly. She climbs down from the couch and hurries towards the stairs. I stand up and walk towards the computer. I need to finish updating the files and put another copy of them on the hard drive. Just as I am about to sit down I hear tentative feet on the stairs again. I turn around and see Kaori peering at me though the slats in the railing.

"What, Kao-chan?"

"Can I ask you a question, Uncle Omi?"

"Sure if it's a real quick one. Then you need to go back to bed, ok?"

She nods and then thinks for a moment. Licking her lips she says, "Are you a superhero?"

I'm taken aback by the question and I think it shows. She almost giggles. What kind of question is that? I think about the files on the disk. I look at her for a moment and then shake my head. "No, Kaori-hime. There's no such thing."

She looks at me hard as if trying to see if I am lying to her. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

She thinks for a moment and then brushes the hair from her eyes. "Ok. Good night, shukufu."

"Good night, Kaori-chan."

I watch as she disappears up the spiral staircase. As I sit down I let a held in sigh escape through my lips. What a thing to ask. Oh Kaori. You are too perceptive for your own good.



* * * * * *



I turn to Fujimiya, my head lolling listlessly against my headrest. Tugging my sunglasses down my nose and refolding my arms I fix him with a dead gaze. "Are we there yet?"

For a moment my fearless leader says nothing, but I notice absently that his knuckles become two shades whiter than his already deathly pale skin, a clear indication that he is gripping the steering wheel rather tightly. Probably thinking about my neck. His deep, indigo eyes swivel around to glare at me sidelong and his thin lips move rather painfully. "Don't start with me, Kudou."

I sigh despondently and turn to look out my window. A thought occurs to me and I turn back towards the petulant read-head. "You want me to drive?"

"I've got it covered, Kudou," he grates, his knuckles turning just one shade lighter.

I shrug and look back out the window. At least the scenery is nice. You know this is just my luck. I could have ridden with Ken, on the motorcycle. That would have been fun, but no. I decided that, as a good father, I should ride in the Jeep with Ran and the kids. I don't spend enough time with Kenji and I know that, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind as far as quality time goes. This is captive audience parenting. Besides, I glance over my shoulder and peer into the backseat to check on the status of our three pre-pubescent passengers, he fell asleep almost two hours ago. Right about the time we realized that we were lost.

Well, if you ask mister I-can-drive-the-car-by-myself he'd say that we never got lost. No we just 'took a wrong turn'. Sure a wrong turn that took us two hours out of our way and got us separated from Ken's motorcycle -and- the Tsukiyono baby-mobile. Omi driving a mini van. it just isn't right. But hey, all our shit fit into it, so it isn't like I'm complaining. And this way I don't have to be in a car with babies. Well, I don't suppose Choji-kun and Sou-chan are really babies anymore. more toddlers. What are they four or something. almost five? Six? I can't remember. But they do that drooling thing sometimes and Chojiro has a problem with keeping his food in his mouth so. I'd still rather be in the Jeep, two hour detour and all.

I face forward again. "Are you sure we aren't still lost?" I ask, just to see what will happen. It's that same morbid fascination that makes you want to look at car accidents.

This time he actually turns his head. His eyes say bloody murder and his fingers are starting to twitch. Good thing there isn't a katana within gutting distance. I smile blandly and try to look mildly interested. "We are not now, nor were we ever lost. We took a wrong turn. That's all. It isn't my fault that they changed the turnoff."

"Yeah, but Omi and Ken sure didn't seem to have any problems finding the right way.." Just like a three-car pile-up..

"Do you want me to throttle you, Youji? Cause I'll pull this thing over and we can go, right here on the side of the road," he says flatly.

I put my hands up in surrender. "Hey, this is supposed to be a family vacation. Don't forget about the 'precious cargo' in the back. I'd hate to have Kaori watch me beat your ass and develop some kind of father complex or something. I just wanted to make sure that you know where we're going," I say blandly.

Fujimiya sticks his finger in my face and glares at me. "Don't tempt me, Kudou."

I brush his hand away. "Watch the road, why don'cha?" I glance back at the kids to make sure they're still sleeping.

The cell phone rings. We both glance at it simultaneously. Two different pairs of hands dart out, fighting for cell phone supremacy. I'm just a little too slow, Ran's hand get's there first. But I have a back-up plan. I play dirty and go for his rips. Ran Fujimiya's one ticklish son of a bitch. He jerks and curses, dropping the phone. With one deft maneuver that thing is mine. The car swerves in response to Fujimiya's panicked twitching.

I look over at him and furrow my brows. "Hey, watch how you're driving there, Speed Racer."

He glares at me and swears under his breath. The phone keeps ringing. I press the on button as I stick my tongue out in Ran's general direction. "Moshi moshi, Lost in Space."

"Where are you guys?!" Ken cries over the line.

I sit back and cross one arm over my chest. "Oh hi, Kenken," I say languidly. Ran turns his head and glares at me again. He mouths 'give me the phone.' I shake my head and mouth, 'piss off.' "How are you?"

Ken sighs in exasperation but plays along. He always does. What a good boy. "I'm fine, Youji, and you?"

"Oh, you know. Some of this, some of that. All in all I'm doing pretty well for having been lost for two hours. Don't know if I can say as much for your. er. koibito here, he's looking a little bit testy." I lower my voice, "He's say we took a wrong turn but, confidentially. he got us lost."

"Youji, give me the phone!" Ran yells, sticking his hand in my face.

I widen my eyes. I can hear Ken laughing on the other side of the connection. "Poor baby, sounds like he's having trouble coping. Maybe you should let me talk to him."

"If you insist, but be careful, he wanted to duke it out with me a few minutes ago. There's no telling what our fire-haired leader will do.."

"Just give me the phone, Kudou!" Ran yells again.

"Later, Kenken," I drawl.

Ken snickers. "Later, Yotan."

I hand the phone over to Fujimiya and then peer over my shoulder into the back seat again. Uh oh. Looks like all the yelling did some damage. Kaori takes a big breath and then blinks her eyes, looking around blearily. She turns towards Kenji, who is seated beside her, drooling on her shoulder and roughly pushes him off. My son starts and then slumps in the other direction, falling against our last prepubescent passenger, one Aniki Tominaga, Koa-chan's best friend, along for the fun. Strange kid. Kinda reminds me of myself. He's stylin for a twelve year old.

"Hey, aité," ran says in a low voice.

I can hear Ken over the cell phone. "Hi, koi. Where are you? We thought you were going to catch right up after you stopped for gas."

"Yeah, well. we were, but. I took a wrong turn at you know, that crossroad."

"They changed the traffic flow there. We talked about it before we left, koi."

"I know," Ran growls. "But I took the turn and we got almost two hours out of the way before we realized it."

"Well, we got here almost half an hour ago. Why didn't you call and tell us you were delayed? We were starting to worry."

"I hoped we could make up the time.."

"Two hours worth of time?" Ken asks incredulously.

"Look we'll be there in an hour or so, so just drop it," Ran grumbles.

Kaori rubs her eyes and sits up, leaning forward and reaching out with her little hands. One snakes over the back of the seat and onto her father's shoulder, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Are we there yet, Papa?" she asks sleepily.

Ran pauses and turns his head, keeping one hand on the wheel. "Not now, Kao-chan, I'm talking."

"Is it Daddy?" she goes on.

Ran nods.

"I wanna talk to him," she says. It's not asking, it's telling.

"Just a second, Kao-chan," Ran says absently. "Here, your daughter wants to talk to you." He holds the phone over his shoulder and Kaori snatches it with happy little hands.

"Hi, Daddy," she chirps, sitting back. I can't hear Ken's replies anymore. "Hm?.. ah, no. No I took a nap.. Yeah, I think Kenji and Ani-kun did too, but we're waking up now. Ha? .. Er, I don't think so. I don't know where we ended up. In some village, I think.. *giggle* Papa didn't want to ask directions, but Uncle Yotan made him. Then we had to go all the way back. That's when I fell asleep.. Hai. hai.. Um. we still have a bunch of snacks in the back and water and tea and stuff, so we'll survive. Did you have a nice ride on your bike?.. I should have gone with you, ne? .. Yah, but -Papa- wouldn't let me. *giggle* And then he got us lost, too! Poor, Papa, he tries so hard, ne?.. That's true. I'll tell him you said so.. Well, ok, say hi to Uncle and Aunty for me, at this rate I may never see them again.. Hai hai hai. Do you want to talk to Papa or Uncle again?.. No? Ok. Bye, Daddy."

Ran reaches back for the phone, but Kaori hands it past him to me instead. "He didn't want to talk to you," she says flatly. Then she leans forward and wraps her arms around the headrest and Ran's neck. "And he said that you have as much sense of direction as a compass in a magnet store." She squeezes and giggles.

"Thanks," Ran grumbles. "He's one to talk."

Kaori sits back and winks at me. I wink back and push my glasses up my nose. She turns towards Kenji who is just making himself comfortable against Aniki's shoulder. We hit a bump. Ran mutters, I grumble, Kaori squeals, and Aniki jolts, whacking his head against the windowpane.

"Arhg! Itai," he moans sitting up. He looks down at my son who is slumped against his shoulder and smiles a bit distantly. He gingerly pushes Kenji off with his fingertips and then stretches, rubbing his head. A few pieces of light brown hair stick up where he's been sleeping against the door. He yawns, gray eyes squinching up, and then notices me watching and smiles slowly. "Ohiou, Kudou-san." Were those the twelve-year-old version of come hither eyes or am I just paranoid? I shake my head. There's just something creepy about that kid. I nod and turn around, watching the backseat proceedings in the rearview mirror.

Aniki-kun glances over at Kaori. "Where are we, Kaori-chan?"

She looks over the top of Kenji's head and shrugs. "Not there yet. But Papa said only another hour or two. And he should know since he's the one that go us lost in the first place."

Ran grumbles under his breath. Aniki leans forward and reaches out a hand to put on Ran's shoulder. "It's ok, Fujimiya-san, we all make mistakes. I won't complain." I notice that he squeezes Ran's shoulder just ever so slightly.

Yeah, he creeps Ran out too. I can tell. That little eye shift thing tells all. He nods also. "Er. thank you, Ani-kun."

"Douitashimashite*," he replies and then sits back, folding his arms over his chest and smirking to himself. Hmmm.

Kenji finally grumbles and pulls himself into wakefulness. He glances vaguely at Kaori and then over at Aniki who twinkles his fingers at him. Finally my son sits up and leans forward into the front seat. "Dad, are we there yet?"

"No. Another hour or two," I reply patting his head.

"Oh. are you sure?"

"Yup."

"Can we pull over?"

"Why?"

"Cause I think I'm gonna be sick.." Kenji wraps his arms around his stomach and makes a little gagging sound. His face looks a bit green.

"Oh, crap! Ken-kun are you sure?" I say, twisting around in my seat.

He nods. "Pretty sure," he replies breathlessly.

"Not in the Jeep!" Ran cries.

"Pull over!" I say, jabbing his arm.

"Right here?"

"Yes, Fujimiya, right here!"

"We don't have time for this!" he shouts.

"Look either we make time," I yell, "or my son pukes all over the leather interior! What's it gonna be, eh, Ranny?!"

Ran glares at me, hard. He hates it when I call him Ranny. I think it's cute. I don't know why nobody thought of it before me. Maybe it was the glare o death.. "Fine," he growls swerving sharply towards the shoulder of the road. Good thing we're on some back county two lane. Of course the swerving action doesn't do anything for my near hurling progeny. He makes a sickly urking sound, but holds up admirably under the circumstances. We screech to a halt. Aniki and I are out of the car so fast it's like magic. Kaori pushes Kenji out after us. He tumbles from the Jeep and I have just enough time to catch him and hold him up before his well-maintained self- control finally gives in.

Hmm, what in the world does Rikuko feed this kid? That's disgusting.

And as I half kneel/half stand, holding my preteen son as he blows chunks past my Gucci loafers it is now that I realize that this. yes this, is what family vacations are all about.

* * * * * *

Thank God it's Monday. I love Mondays. Mondays are the best. At least they are now that we've decided to close shop on Monday. Ah, yes. Now we have Sunday -and- Monday off. Two whole days of sitting on our asses. planning for missions. Ok, so it's not exactly like we ever get a real day off, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't have to get up in the morning and go water plants. And now that Kaori is old enough to cook for herself I don't even have to get up to attempt to make oatmeal and then fail miserably. Wow. For a moment I realize just how old my little Kaori- hime is. She's in her last year of junior high. She'll be fifteen in two months.

Sigh. Time marches on. And we're all just getting older and older. Youji's already hit the big four oh, and Ran isn't far behind. In fact. this July is forty years for my koibito. And that makes me. going on thirty-eight. Ahhh! That means that I will be twice the age I was when I first met Ran! Ugh. I'm getting those little gray hairs at my temples, and they're slowly inching upward. Well, at least I haven't hit the midlife facial hair phase yet. I hope I never get so desperate that I grow a mustache. That would just be too sad. Actually, more importantly, I hope Ran never gets so desperate he grows a mustache. There's something ultimately disturbing about red heads with facial hair. it just makes them look that much weirder.

Shaking my head to clear away the annoying thoughts of impending age, I round the kitchen counter and head for the stairs. I haven't seen Ran all morning. He actually wanted to sleep in again. Which is weird, because he's usually such an early riser. It isn't like him not to get up to see Kaori off. He didn't even get up early for the Sunday paper yesterday. He must be feeling a little under the weather or something. Which is also odd, because Ran almost never gets sick. He's probably up by now.

As pause at the bottom of the stairs and call, "Ran? Are you up yet, koi?"

There isn't a response so I start to climb slowly, calling out to him on the way. "Oh, Ranny! I'm coming to get you! You'd better get your lazy ass out of bed, or else I might just have to do something uncalled for.! Ran? Answer me!"

There is no answer. I roll my eyes. This really isn't like him. He isn't a light sleeper either. Usually he'd be charging down the hall by now, looking for my head, but it's quiet at the grave in here. I shudder. I don't like that thought. I quicken my pace a bit, berating myself for being paranoid and yet unable to slow.

I quickly open the door and flick on the light.

I exhale with a strange sense of relief when I see Ran sitting up in bed, his head in his hands. "Ah! Turn it off," he mumbles blearily.

I oblige and then walk towards the bed. "So you are awake. You didn't answer me, I was actually worried for a few moments there," I say lightly, picking up a few articles of dirty laundry and dropping them in the basket by the closet. "You usually come and try to beat me up when I wake you." I laugh and turn towards him.

It's now that I notice what I hadn't noticed before. The ragged, forced breathing, the slight sheen of sweat on pale skin, the slightest trembling of muscles. I furrow my eyebrows and stare hard at the man that I love. "Ran, are you feeling alright?" I ask, crossing the distance between us quickly.

He looks up from his hands, the effort causes him to take a sharp breath. His eyes seem distant and fevered, his usually fine, soft hair matted and damp with sweat. "Something's. wrong," he breathes and then collapses against me, clutching his arm as I sit down beside him quickly.

Holy shit! I've never seen Ran like this before. He's scaring me. Really scaring me. I touch his forehead. He burning up, but his body is trembling as if he has the chills. Forcing him to sit up I ask him urgently, "What's wrong?"

He shakes his head and indicates his arm, clutching it to him tighter. "My arm. it's. I don't know. It doesn't feel right."

His arm? He got a nasty wound on his upper arm during our last mission. Sharp objects in close quarters. it wasn't good. But cuts and gashes, scrapes and sores are things we've come to live with. Some run of the mill flesh wound like that shouldn't be giving him the trouble it seems to be.

I look at him worriedly and then hush him, running my hand over his forehead and talking to him on a low voice. "Let me look, koibito."

He nods and takes his hand away, breathing shallowly. I roll up the sleeve of his white undershirt and find myself catching my breath. First of all it doesn't smell right. Second of all there are several long, thin, red lines extending from beneath the bandaging and up his bicep. "Holy shit!" I hiss and then immediately start to tear his shirt off. I have to see how far those lines have gotten. He groans at the sudden rough treatment and cries out sharply as I grab his arm and twist it, tuning on the bedside lamp. The lines are past his shoulder, moving towards his neck. This is not good.

I want to unwrap the bandage, but am afraid. Too. I know what I'll find. An infection to beat all infections. How did this happen?! It isn't like Ran to let something like this go, to not take care of his wounds properly, not clean them properly, let them get infected. With a job like ours there is nothing more important than you physical health. There must have been something on whatever caused the wound in the first place. It must have been tipped.

Ran looks halfway gone. He blinks at me slowly and then drops his head into his free hand again.

"Ran, we have get you to a hospital. You have blood poisoning," I say sharply. I start to pull him up out of bed, tucking his arm around my shoulder.

His head jerks up sharply and he tries to pull his arm away from me. "No! You know how I feel about. hospitals," he growls.

"I don't care how you feel about hospitals!" I cry, shaking him roughly. "You are going to die of a blood infection if you don't go to one! I'm serious, Ran Fujimaya. If you don't get your ass out of this bed and to the car within five minutes I will kill you myself, so help me God!"

He stares at me unbelieving. I'm pissed. I grab his arm again and start to hoist him up out of bed. He grumbles, but does his best to help me out. I manage to get him down the stairs, halfway carrying him as he stumbles over his own feet on the way. We get as far as the living room when he loses consciousness.

I think now would be a good time to call the emergency room..



The waiting room door flies open. A few magazines ruffle their pages in the ensuing draft and then settle down as the door swings shut again. I look up to see my daughter running towards me, backpack nearly smacking some old man in the head as she carelessly flings it around in her haste to get to me. Her uniform skirt ruffles around her legs, her hair a complete mess. I stand to greet her. She screeches to a halt in front of me and drops her bag, breathing heavily.

"Where is he? Is he ok?" she asks hurriedly.

I sigh and nod, pointing off down the far corridor. "He's up the elevator," I say.

"We can see him right?! He's ok, right?! Pops is ok?" she presses.

I nod again and pat her head gently. "Yeah, Kao-chan, he's fine. We just had a close call, that's all. Antibiotics will have him all fixed up in no time. Where's Youji?"

She glances back over her shoulder and shakes her head. "He went to park the car. He just dropped me off outside after picking me up from school. I've had the worst day, I just knew something was wrong," she mutters. The she looks up at me and narrows her eyes. She reminds me of a certain bed ridden red head. "You should have called the school and told me earlier. You shouldn't have waited for school to end today."

"I didn't want you to worry, and school is important. Besides it wouldn't have done any good to tell you. You couldn't have seen him any sooner," I say assuredly, staring back with unwavering eyes. After almost nineteen years I know how to deal with the Fujimaya death glare.

She glances down and picks up her bag. "I guess not, but still. I think you should have told me."

I shrug. "Come on, let's go up. Youji can get directions from the receptionist," I say leaning forward and kissing the crown of her head. She smiles distantly and takes my hand as we head down the corridor. That's one thing I love about Kaori. Even at her age, she isn't afraid to hold her old man's hand in public.

Fourth floor. Everything is white and sterile. It always is. This is a hospital after all. A few nurses flutter by, clip boards in tow. I squeeze Kao-chan's hand and then indicate Ran's door. She releases my grip and rushes to the door, pushing it open with an all too familiar ferocity.

"Papa!" I hear her cry as I follow behind. As I enter the room behind her she rushes to the hospital bed and manages to put her arms around Ran. He smiles absently and touches her head. He's much more alert now that he was even when I left only a half an hour ago. The antibiotics and whatever else they have pumping into his arm through that little plastic tube are doing their job well.

There's something eerie about the sight of my strong, defiant husband connected to tubes and beeping machines in the all too sterile confines of a hospital room. It makes me feel the mortality of all things in a way that is just too keen.

Kaori releases her father from her embrace and then stands up to look at him. I can tell this makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like being the sick one. He likes being the one to take care of the sick. Kaori looks down at him for a moment with an expression I can't quite decipher. Then she scowls suddenly and with one hand on her hip smacks Ran in the forehead with the back of the other. "Baka."

Ran makes a funny coughing sound. "Since when do children call their parents a baka?" he mutters.

"Since they do stupid, baka-like things. Chichi*, what is this?" she answers testily, pointing to this bandaged arm. "How did you let that happen? What were you thinking?"

Ran tries to sit up farther and scowls, opening his mouth incredulously. "It isn't my fault," he growls. "The weapon was tainted, how was I supposed to know?"

Kaori doesn't buy it. "What kind of a question is that?! It's your job to know! In your line of work you should know. Or you should have at least had the sense to get it looked at by one of the Kritiker doctors. It couldn't have just turned all infected and gangrenous over night! You should have had it looked at at the first sign of possible complications! You know better! Would you have let it just slide if it had been Dad or Uncle Youji or Uncle Omi who had been wounded like that? I don't think so!"

"I already got this lecture from your father!" Ran snaps.

"Well, you're getting it again from me!" she snaps back. "Maybe this way it will sink in and I won't ever have to see you in a hospital bed again!"

The air practically snaps and crackles with the electricity that these two are building up between themselves. They glare at each other for a few moments, identical stares trying to stare each other down. It would be comical under other circumstances. They're just so much alike in so many ways.. Identical stares, identical tempers, identical scathing remarks.

I walk over to the bed. I have to diffuse the situation. I place hand on Kaori's shoulder. She sags a bit and then sighs, looking away. She turns and hugs me, looking over at Ran. "I was just so worried about you, Pops," she murmurs.

He smiles blandly and nods. One hand comes up off the bed and beckons to her. She reaches out and laces her fingers with his, smiling back. "I know, Kao-chan. I'm sorry."

"But you can't do this again," she adds tersely. "You're supposed to be invincible after all. If that little bubble of mine gets broken. I don't know how I'll stay sane just thinking about you and Dad and the uncles out there kicking asses and taking down names. A girl needs her delusions, Pops. Just do your part to keep mine in tact, ok?"

Enter the cynical wit.

"Hai, Kao-chan. I'll do my best."



* * * * * *



Aniki looks up from where he is leaning against the cement planter outside the Kritiker Building. He raises one eyebrow as I push my way through the swinging glass doors and come to stand in front of him. He snaps the book in his hand shut and swiftly places it in his bag. I follow the movement with my eyes and then look up into his face. I smile slyly.

"Your newest yaoi doujinshi?"

"What do you take me for, some kind of underage hentai?"

"I've known you since we were in kindergarten. And I don't just take you for one, I -know- you're one."

His eyes narrow for a moment and then he begins to smirk. He punches my arm, clumsily, I could have easily dodged. I could easily have grabbed his arm and flipped him onto his back if I'd wanted to, but that wasn't really necessary. I let him punch my arm and giggle, slugging him back.

"Ow! Kaori, could you at least try to act like a girl, even if you don't look like one? That hurt. You hit hard," he grumbles.

I shrug. "Sorry. No need to be a baby."

He straightens up and shakes his head, the sunlight catches on the choppy brown locks and I smile to myself. Aniki is the cutest boy in our class. Always has been, always will be. He's also the gayest boy in our class, which at times makes me very sad. You know the saying. everyone's a little queer. I just wonder why Aniki can't be a little straight. Don't get me wrong, he's not flamboyantly, flamingly, talk-with-a-lisp-and-wear-your- momma's-lipstick gay, he's more the uber bitchy, dresses better than a male model, caustically cynical kinda gay. Oh well, after sixteen years it's not all that likely that he's going to start noticing me or any other member of the fairer sex any time soon. I shake my head, and loop my arm in his.

"Let's go, Wonder Boy."

He snickers and tightens his arm around mine. "So, why is it, that even when you tell me that this little club of yours gets over at five thirty you aren't out here until five to six?"

"Because I have hair that I actually have to wash after being sweaty and disgusting. I have to get naked and in a shower stall. Because, I'm sorry, but doing what I do here just gets my hair all crusty and disgusting with sweat and.."

"Stop it. You're ruining my afternoon."

"Well you asked," I snap.

"Why can't you just wait till you get home? You only live a few blocks from here. You'd think that having to shower here after Tinder every single day would get a little annoying," he says, rolling his eyes.

"It's only on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday! And it's Kinder. Not Tinder. Tinder is something you start a campfire with, baka."

He shrugs and we walk on down the street in silence. He pulls his arm away after a little while and hops up onto the top of the low retaining wall along the sidewalk. He looks down at me and I glance up at him. We walk on, moving through the sun drenched streets, glad that they aren't choked with rush hour pedestrians.

"So what exactly is it that you do with this Kinder thing anyway? I mean you've been doing it for what. three years now? There are too many damn activities that you're in. We hardly get to hang out anymore," he says slowly.

"We're hanging out now," I answer shrugging.

"Yeah, but. I mean that's just because I happen to pass by this building on my way home from basketball. We've been doing this since we were little kids. Sure we'll walk home together, but then we'll have to part ways and do our homework and then tomorrow you'll be in Kinder all day. and so it goes every other day with soccer and dance and Kinder and archery and basketball, etc. The schedule never changes just what takes up the space, if you know what I mean."

"You're rambling, Ani-chan. Besides, your favorite part of getting to hang out with me is still readily available to you.."

He looks down at me and narrows his eyes, trying to find my hidden meaning. "How do you figure?"

"Well, even if I'm not there the shop is still always open and at least -one- of the guys in my family is there, so I figure.." I say lightly, holding up my hands.

"Oh, ha ha," Aniki burst out, leaning over, "very funny. I bet you just think you're so clever, don't you. Well, it's not my fault that your family is composed of nothing but extremely hot men.."

"Old men.," I say under my breath.

"Fourty is not old. It's distinguished. experienced even. Look at some hot actors for example. Sean Connery only got sexier as he got older. He was better looking at sixty than at thirty."

"He's dead. Besides wasn't he just in cheesy spy movies?" Actually come to think of it that kinda isn't so far fetched. kind close to home actually.

"Sure he's dead -now- but he was a sexy old man. And your uncles and your fathers are all sexy not-even-that-old men," he says sighing slightly. "Such a wealth of beauties.."

"Gross. You're like the opposite of a pedophile."

"I am not! Besides there's always your little cousin, too," he drawls.

"What?! Kenji? Oh come on, he's almost three years younger than us!"

"More like two, don't blow things out of proportion. And I don't care what you say. He's cute. He's almost as cute as me," Aniki says emphatically.

I smirk as an idea hits me. "As cute as Jiro?"

Aniki almost falls off the wall. "Ugh, no. Nobody is a cute as Jiro," he says breathlessly.

"Jiro's an ass hole! He used to make fun of you all the time when we were little, don't you remember all the times I got sent to the principal's office because I would beat him up for you?" I cry.

Aniki hops down from the wall and wraps his arms around mine. "I don't care. That's ancient history. he's so hot. There's one guy I would -love- to grab and drag into the Janitor's Closet. Oh the things I would do to him.."

"He's not even gay!"

Aniki looks at me slyly and raises an eyebrow. "Not -yet- he isn't.."

I roll my eyes. "Loser."

He stands up straight and adjusts his shoulder pack. "So anyway, I asked you a question which you artfully dodged a while ago."

I cast him a sidelong glance. "And what was that?" I don't want to talk about this..

"I asked you what it was that you did in Kinder that was always taking up all your time."

Great. Here we go. I shrug. "I dunno. It's just kinda like extended school or something. We have a lot of intensive language classes and. geography and stuff."

"That's it. geography and stuff. That takes up two evenings and an entire Saturday a week? I don't buy it. You are always coming to school with big old bandages and shit that you say you get at Kinder. So what the hell do you do there?"

"Oh. that. Well, there are like. self-defense classes too. And I take kendo there and. some other stuff. judo. rock climbing. just physical conditioning stuff. Basic," I say hurriedly. "Why do you care?"

"Just wondering. how did you get into it? You just started going all of a sudden. And Kenji goes too, ne?"

"Yeah. he does. Look, it's just something that we got into because of our parents. They own stock in something or something. well. kinda. They are members of this organization and Kinder is like. that, but for younger people I guess," I stumble over my words.

"What, like being members of he YMCA or something?" he asks.

"Sorta. It's just like some club they belong to. Why are you asking all this now? I've been in Kinder for years."

"Mmm, no reason. Just wondering."

I eye him warily for a moment, trying to feel around Aniki's words. I don't really feel like dwelling on what he might be getting at. "Anyway," I say, jogging ahead, "let's get going. I'm hungry. You wanna stop at my house and get some food?"

"Oh yeah!"

I glare at him. "You just want to oogle my family."

He grins and shrugs. "I can't help it. I still have hormones, even if they're a bit misplaced."

"Gross."

We hurry down the street, shoving each other and giggling. As the Koneko comes in sight I race ahead, easily able to outstrip Aniki. "Last one there's a gaijin butter-sniffer!" He yells after me and follows on my heels, banging into me as I shove against the glass door. We burst into the shop, the door bell jingling madly as we trip over each other, laughing and chattering. Aniki grabs my back pack and pulls me back causing me to slip on the newly cleaned, white floor tiles.

"Ahh!" I scream, slipping sideways and nearly careening into Uncle Youji's precious, potted fichus plant. Luckily Aniki realizes his mistake just in time and throws himself after me, knocking up both flat, but safely out of the way of the fichus.

I grunt under Aniki's weight and shift, rather unhappy with the way the hard tile feels against my ribs.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hear. It's not a happy sound. I crane my neck and look up, trying to shift Aniki off my back. I feel him sit up and rock back onto my legs. I prop myself up on my elbows and smile wanly. My father glares down at me, dark eyes narrowing unpleasantly.

"Konichiwa, Fujimiya-san," Aniki says brightly, pressing the heels of his hands into the small of my back. I grunt unpleasantly and try to glare at him over my shoulder. I notice Dad amble up next to Pops and cross his arms.

"Well aren't you two quite the pair?" he says shaking his head.

Aniki sits back again and holds out his arms. "Hello, Hidaka-san. I don't suppose I could humbly ask both of you to help me up, could I?" I snort and roll my eyes. The nerve.

Dad and Pops exchange a glance, Pops raising an eyebrow and Dad shrugging. They both reach out and take one of Aniki's wrists pulling him up. I suppress the urge to gag as he hops to his feet and lurches forward, bumping into my fathers, giggling. "Wow, you guys are so strong. I wasn't expecting there to be so much power behind your arms."

Jesus. Who does he think he's kidding. He's shameless, totally, utterly, disgustingly shameless. I'm surprised that my father's haven't beaten him down by now. I kinda worry that somewhere, deep down their middle life crisis selves revel in the attention. Can we say 'hello, Mrs. Robinson.' Ew. God I hope not. Not ever. I push off the floor and painfully sit back onto my legs. "Is somebody going to help -me- up? I'm the family member here, after all," I grumble.

Aniki turns to look at me, feigning surprise. I reach my arms towards my father, but the next thing I know there are arms under my shoulders, hauling me upwards a bit painfully. "Ugh!"

"There you go, Kao-chan."

I crane my neck to look over my shoulder and smile blandly at the deep green eyes and find blinking back at me. "Thanks, Kenji-kun," I drawl, pushing off of him and out of his arms. This place is too crowded. Aniki grins at me and I scowl back.

"No problem, juushi," he says lightly, ruffling my hair, he's already taller than I am, and that's saying something since I'm the tallest girl in my class. I'm not amused.

I jerk away from him and grab Aniki's arm, hauling him away from my parents. "Let's get out of the shop, Ani-kun," I snap.

"Good idea," my father answers under his breath.

I smile weakly at them over Aniki's shoulder and then haul him towards the back of the store.

"But don't go eating a bunch of snacks!" Dad calls after us, "We've got tofu loaf for dinner."

Aniki looks over at me and mouths, 'tofu loaf?'

I roll my eyes. "Dad's on a health food kick," I hiss under my breath.

We pass Uncle Youji, and I try to haul Aniki past before he has the chance to make an idiot of himself. He resists and pulls back, clinging to the doorframe I am desperately trying to get him through.

"Hello, Kudou-san!" he cries, scrabbling madly at the doorjamb. "How are, ugh, you today?"

Uncle Youji turns slowly, brushing a stray piece of hair back out of his eyes. He smiles congenially, putting his hands on his hips. "Fine, Ani- kun, and yourself?"

"I'm feeling rather abused at the moment," he grunts, attempting to break free of my grasp as I haul him backwards. "But other than that I'm fine," he pipes up brightly.

Uncle Youji scowls, "Kao-chan, why don't you let Aniki go. You're making a scene, tater-tot. Will it really kill you if you miss the first five minutes of whatever show you're in such a hurry to see?"

He's so blind. I just want to keep my best friend from shamelessly flirting with my family! Haven't they seen 'American Beauty', or 'the Graduate', or. 'Zen and the Art of Landscaping'?! Ok, so all those movies were popular when they were like my age or less, but still. a classic is a classic! The message goes on.

Grunting I let go, Aniki lurching forward. Youji puts out his hands and steadies Aniki's shoulder. Aniki giggles. "That's the second time I've done that since I walked in here. Youji-san."

I shuffle next to him and latch onto his arm. Since when did he get on a first name basis with them?! I step on his foot.

"Itai! Kao-chan, be careful, ne?" he whines.

"There you said hello to Uncle Yotan, can we go upstairs now?" I hiss.

He glances and Youji and I swear that uncle raises his eyebrows and winks. They all make me sick.

"Don't I get a hello from my tater-tot?" Uncle Youji drawls.

I look up at him and roll my eyes. "Hello Uncle Yotan, sorry."

He grins and pats my shoulder. "I forgive you, but just this once. You two run along and have. fun. Or whatever it is teenagers do these days."

I yank Aniki away and push him up the stairs towards the upper apartment. "Aww, I didn't get to see your other unlce."

"He's not here today!" I snap. "For once in your life could you -not- hit on my family and make a complete ass of yourself?"

"I did -not- hit on anybody!" he cries. "If I was hitting on your family you'd know it and nobody would be safe, I can guarantee you that."

"They're all taken anyway," I grumble, mounting the top stair and slipping off my shoes. Aniki sits down beside me and begins to untie his sneakers. I didn't think anybody bothered to actually untie those things.

"Not your Kudou-san," he singsongs.

"Yes he is," I singsong back.

Aniki looks up at me. "Nuh uh."

"Yeah-huh. I told you, Uncle Youji got married again like a month ago."

Aniki gets to his feet. "To who?!"

"I thought I told you all this already," I sigh, stepping into the house. Aniki grabs my arm.

"Well you didn't, so tell me now. Oh, I'm so sad!"

"Whatever. Anyway like I said. He got married again over a month ago. Some gaijin woman. She's pretty cool, I like her ok. Aunt Miriam. I can't even pronounce it, nobody but Uncle Youji can, so we all just call her Midi."

"Well. how did they meet? How did your uncle end up marrying a gaijin?" Aniki demands.

I shrug. "I think that he knew her before. They met. in Hawaii or something, over my fathers' commitment ceremony stuff, if you can believe that. They were just friends, 'cause I guess she was on her honeymoon then after marrying a Japanese businessman, or something. She lived here with him for years. But she was really just his 'white prize bride,' so the marriage wasn't a happy one. She left him, but didn't divorce him and went back home. Anyway long story short. He died a year or so ago, and she came back for the funeral and her inheritance from his will (guess she came back on and off just to affirm that she was still part of the family or whatever) and going through all the old wedding stuff found a picture of Uncle Youji and my fathers and Uncle Omi and some other people they knew in Hawaii with our number on it, so she just kinda called up Uncle Youji out of the blue. And the rest is history," I say rolling my eyes.

"Weird."

"Really weird."

"So. is she.American then?"

I shake my head. "No, British. She's really nice and her accent is so funny!" I dislodge Aniki from my arm and wave him into the apartment. "I guess it really has been a long time since we hung out if you didn't already know all of this," I say absently.

"Really."

We walk by the couch and I barely pay any attention to the back of the head sticking out over it save to say, "Konichiwa."

I notice peripherally that the head turns in my general direction. "Hi." In English. Of course.

Aniki pauses behind me, but I make my way to the kitchen. If it's tofu loaf for dinner then I definitely need some snacks..

A few moments later Anikik comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulder mid rummage through the refrigerator. I stand up with a start and whirl on him. He's staring at me intensely. "Who is the out of control hottie on your couch?" he hisses.

I roll my eyes. "I told you, Uncle Youji got married. That's his step- son. That's Aunt Midi's son, Geoff. or Jefuri if you go by his -Japanese- name. Obviously just a bastardized version of his English name, but who am I to complain?"

"Haffu?*"

"Obviously. He's the only legitimate son of Aunt Midi's first husband, but I guess the family decided to pass the name on to some son of his mistress or something. Crappy deal if you ask me," I say going back into the fridge.

"Why didn't I know of his existence. he's hot. Of course the mixes always are.." Insert heavy sigh here.

"He doesn't go to our school. He goes to the American school on the base. His Japanese is atrocious. He's lived in England since he was three or something. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, I mean he came back for his father's funeral, expecting to go home and then -bam- he gets to become a part of our crazy little family and is stuck living above a flower shop in a foreign country. Must be weird for the guy to have to live with so many people all of a sudden since it's really just been him and his mom for most of his life."

Aniki pokes my back. "Introduce me."

"Why? You won't be able to talk to him. Like I said, his Japanese is horrible and you've almost flunked out of English three times," I grumble, grabbing a can of tea.

"Just do it," Aniki whines. "My English can only get better.."

"He's not gay."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

"How?"

"Ok, maybe I don't know."

"Well. there you go."

I roll my eyes and push past him, yanking his arm and pulling him back towards the living room. Steering him around the couch I stop in front of Geoff. He looks up at us with calm, light blue eyes, just slightly almond shaped. He blinks twice and then sits forward, running a hand through his dark hair. I smile blandly.

"Jefuri-kun," I begin.

"Yes," he answers in English.

"Japanese for a moment, ok?"

He raises an eyebrow, looks pained and then gives in. "Hai."

"This in my friend, Aniki Tominaga. Aniki this is Jefuri (Geoff) Nimoto," I say slowly.

Aniki nods his head a bit and smiles slyly. "Pleased to meet you."

Geoff holds out his hand. "Cheers."

Straightening, Aniki reaches out and takes Geoff's hand in his own. A slow smile spreads on both their faces. I can't take this any more. Maybe I was wrong.. Ugh, just what I need.

Throwing my hands up in the air I say, "Have fun," in English and then stomp back to the kitchen.

Sometimes I wonder if my life can get any weirder.

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* shuukufu means 'uncle who is younger than the parent'

* chichi is a nickname for father, like pops or daddy

* douitashimashite (I'm actually not sure if this how its spelled) is like 'no problem' or 'it's nothing'

* haffu is a slang (and rather rude) way of saying someone who is of mixed ethnic descent (wasn't that nice and PC?)

*gaijin. if you don't know what this means you have little right to call yourself an otaku. cause you are one (unless you happen to be Japanese) it's anybody who is -not- Japanese, but most commonly refers to westerns and especially Americans

And thoughts: Kaori's section was way too long and not nearly interesting enough in my opinion. But everyone wanted to get to meet Aniki and so you did. He's odd. There, nuf said.

Review!! Now!! *pokes*