Intro: My name is special agent Jack Bauer. Right now, my wife and daughter have been kidnapped. Again. Evil Europeans are plotting to get a presidential candidate. And people I work with may be involved with both, depending on what the writers decide for this week. Today is the longest day in my wardrobe's life.

Scene: Bauer's car, and CTU Headquarters.

Bauer (From car, into cell phone): Grr, grrr. What about my wife and daughter?

Nina (From CTU, into private cell phone): Hello Jack, what's the problem?

Bauer: grr grr, my wife grrr and my daughter. What about my family?

Nina: Right, I have some information about that, Jack.

Bauer: Grrr, what about. Grrr. Wife. Grr. Daughter.

Nina: Ok, Jack turn right at the next street. I have it on my computer.

Bauer: Grrr. Wife. My family.

Nina: Ok, take then next left.

Bauer: growllll

Nina: Lean out the window.

Bauer: Grr? Daughter?

Nina: See that speaker? Talk to it.

Bauer: Grr! What about my family?

Speaker: Welcome to Mcdonald's. Can I help you?

Bauer: What about my daughter? Where are they GRRRRR

Speaker: Yes, that was 2 hamburgers and a large Sprite?

Bauer: growl where do you have my wife and daughter

Speaker: I'm sorry, can you say that again?

Bauer: Where do you have my wife and daughter?

Speaker: That will be $8.54. Please drive around.

Nina: Jack are you there? I think you better drive around.

Bauer: Grrr. What about my family. Grr.

Nina: I can see on my computer that you've driven around. See if they give you anything.

Bauer: What about my wife and daughter?

Cashier: Here is your meal. Thank you for coming to McDonald's.

Bauer: Grrr! Sprite! No bathroom for 19 hours straight hours! Grrr!

Cashier: That will be $8.54.

Bauer: Where do you have my wife and daughter?

Cashier: $8.54.

Bauer: Grr. I have to do it for my wife and daughter.

Cashier: I'll get your food.

Nina: Just a minute, Jack, the boss is coming.

[enter Boss to CTU]

Boss: Nina, don't talk to Jack.

Nina: No, I think I'll flagrantly go against what you ask, because even though this is a super high-tech spy agency, you won't notice what I'm doing if I make a phone call from the bathroom. That's not really much of a problem, though, because your character will be written off in a week or so.

Boss: Well, make a note of this before I go, which is that the author of this little piece has the email FunnyHatUS@yahoo.com, and the website is www.geocities.com/funnyhatus.

Nina: Ok, Boss.

[exit Boss]

Nina (in cell phone): Jack?

Jack: What about my family? My daughter and wife? Grr?

Nina: Don't you have that food yet?

Jack: Grrr. Daughter, Wife.

Nina: Maybe if you ask them.

Jack: Wife! Daughter!

[enter cashier]

Cashier: Sorry, I don't want to give you your food, because this week I'm the mole.

Bauer: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[end]