This Is Not My Day ch8

~#~Just to recap, though I would rather you read it yourself (come on, Quatre stripping was awesome) Quatre just ran out of the room, his pompom blazing, only wearing underwear.    Milliardo thought Quatre was Heero and challenged him to show his face~#~

            Heero picked up a near-by dinner roll and threw it at Milliardo's head.   It bounced of and hit Duo, who was still looking at the punchbowl in his hands in total amazement.   Milliardo spun around; his fist still balled from shaking them at Mr. Stripper aka who he thought was Heero.   Heero didn't appreciate everyone thinking he was the stripper and decided to make his presence known.  

            Milliardo was too infuriated to think for a moment and attacked Heero right as soon as he saw him.   A couple more moronic people wondered how he got his clothes back on so fast.   Heero stood his ground and got ready to fight Relena's brother.    Trowa stood in the background with anime-flames dancing around his fang-clad head.    Wufei was slowly edging his way out of the vicinity.

            A group of women stumbled in the room grasping shreds of Christmas underwear.    Milliardo punched Heero in the nose/missed him completely.    Relena yelled at them not to fight in front of the guests.   It seems she was getting angry at her two favorite males.

An inebriated Wufei stumbled into the reindeer display and thought one of then was Nakatu.    As he tried to climb into his "Gundam" Relena stepped between her brother and her love.    Milliardo didn't notice the small blonde in front of him and tried to hit Heero again, instead he got Relena in the stomach.

On pure instinct, or maybe it was the private training Heero was giving her, Relena retaliated by hitting her brother in the eye.    He went down like an inexperienced skier and stayed there.    His eye immediately started to swell, and the group broke into a chaotic babble of opinions.

Hilde grasped Duo's arm and begged him to do something.   Duo was still staring at the punch bowl in shock and anger.   He had not spiked the punch!    He was almost sure of it.

"Hilde babe, someone spiked the punch!"

"Who cares Duo, so you didn't do it first.    It's not a big deal."

"I could have killed Quatre, or whoever it was on that table."

"I think Quatre could have survived the heat, he grew up in the desert for heaven sakes.    You need to think of something to help Relena now!"   Duo looked over to Relena leaning over her brother and staring at her hands.

"Holy guacamole did she punch her brother?    She did it?   Not Heero?"   Disbelief showed on his face.   He made his way towards the princess as fast as he could through the gossiping company.

Wufei was now sitting on a Reindeer's back yelling about killing Trieze once and for all.    He then stabbed Rudolph with a wine bottle and fell off of his perch.  (The red nose must have been the resemblance)   Trowa sat throwing Wufei's empty glasses at a pin-up of Santa while eating salted peanuts by the handful.

Milliardo was being dragged out of the room while Duo was explaining to the guests that whole scene had been a play for their amusement, it's not like many of them were smart enough to figure out that was bull.    They started to compliment Relena on her great performance.    Some even slapped her on the back; despite the fact Heero was menacingly glaring at them and stayed close to her elbow.

In his unconscious state Milliardo was yelling to Heero about killing the enemy and compromising his little sister.    People started to clap at the convincing performance when Milliardo was finally dragged out of view by two of Relena's guards, who worked for Heero.

Heero growled about over zealous, protective, unconscious brothers and stepped over to the food table.    He walked in some of the punch that had not gone up in flames.    He started to grumble about stupid Christmas parties being dangerous to his health and stepped out of the liquid.    His slick foot tread on the marble floor and slipped up in the air.    He did a back flip and landed easily, he just knocked over Duo and Hilde.    A domino effect was created and soon half the people in the room were on the floor.

Relena came up beside him at the foot of the group of fallen people.    In a bundle of flailing arms and limbs everyone was becoming more entangled in each other as they tried to get up off the hard floor.   Relena giggled at Duo who was embracing Hilde in the middle of the group of people.    Heero snarled about idiots doing things in public and stomped out of the ballroom.

Hurt and angry guests finally untangled themselves and started to leave.    They commented on the excitement of the Peacecraft Christmas Party and couldn't wait for next year.    Hilde and Duo were still kissing on the cold marble floor.    Trowa finally got finished throwing drinks at a cutout of Santa and went in search of the real one.    Dorothy accosted him in the middle of the hall and exchanged a few heated words with him before they went off together.

Sally tried to help an incredibly inebriated Wufei out of the room without him tripping over his four feet.    No, he wasn't still on the reindeer, nor did he get two legs stuck on him, or grow them because of the strong liquid he had swallowed.    He was seeing double,  which was good because there were now 2 Sally's for him to torment, insult and try to woo.    He stumbled on his own 2, sorry 4, feet and started to gag.    She got him to the bathroom just before he hurled all over the place. 

The male bathroom had been occupied by an old man with a bowel problem so she had to hustle him into the girls' one.   She had to push a little hussy in a bright red miny-dress out of the way to make sure he didn't puke on her new strappy heels, or should I say bare skin showing through the straps of her heels.    When his disorientated head came up a few minutes later he had a lot less alcohol in his system and was a bit more sober.    He looked at the sanitation can in the bathroom, screamed, and asked if he was in hell.  

Meanwhile Relena and Catherine were walking down the bedroom hallway.   From in a room came an ear piercing scream.    Followed by that came Quatre's voice asking where the heck his clothing was.   He ran out of a guestroom holding alarm clock strategically in a certain place.    He scuttled sideways down the hall to the door of his room.   As he groped for the handle of the door the alarm clock went off and Quatre forgot about his indecent exposure and bolted into his room.

From the guestroom came a horde of franticly beckoning females rampaging by the staring friends in search for the sobering Santa Claus.    Relena and Catherine stared after them and shook their heads, at least the fanatic girls were fully clothed.     The pack of females rampaged down the stairs and by a stunned Duo and Hilde.   One of them stepped on Duo's braid, tripped and pulled Duo down the stairs with the braid wrapped around her foot.

Duo used his braid like a rope and pulled himself across the moving floor to the female's foot.    Disentangling his precious braid from the high heel, he was finally set free in a tumbling action of loose arms and legs.    He rolled into the back of Wufei's legs and tripped the poor boy.    Wufei never saw what hit him, his stomach twirled on the way down to the floor.   In a few seconds flat he had his head in a potted cactus, vomiting.     Duo took one look at the chaos and ran back up the stairs to meet Hilde, who was almost tipping over the railing in laughter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Heero didn't want to think of the chaotic day he and his friends had gone through.   He figured that it would have been safer if he had tried to commit suicide that morning when his bad luck started.   But with the luck he was having he would probably really die this time, and he would rather live at this point in his life.

Opening the window in his room he sat on the edge and wondered if the 3-story fall would injure him in the least bit.   He figured at this mundane height he wouldn't even dislocate any joints.   Trowa ran by in the hallway with Dorothy on his heals squirting a fake flower lapel, he was promising something to the effect of never playing a trick on her again.    She took out a fencing foil and stabbed him in the heart; he screamed silently. (ß you know when you scream but no sound comes out.)    The sword collapsed like those little children toys and Dorothy walked away laughing like a maniac.   Everyone in a three-mile radius cringed.

Relena walked in Heero's room and gestured towards the hallway.   She accidentally knocked over a lap and caught it before it landed on the floor.   Again she gestured towards the hallway, narrowly missing the lamp this time.

"Why does Trowa have his hand over his heart?   He's just standing there looking blankly at the wall."

"Dorothy stabbed him."

Relena broke out laughing.   "I knew that fake foil would come in handy some day."   She proceeded to walk towards him until her foot caught on the edge of the carpet and she fell into his arms.

"Well something went my way this day."   Relena snuggled into his lap and started to drift off to sleep.   At that moment Duo ran by the room screaming at the top of his lungs, followed by Wufei welding a giant scythe.    Relena turned her head slightly and found her lips a fraction away from Heero's.  

It is not known which one of them moved, maybe both of them did, but their lips met in a tender kiss.    Duo opened the door, as unaware as the couple in the room as they were of him, slammed the door, and super-locked it.    He scuttled over and threw himself in the closet.    He then figured it would be the most obvious hiding place so he climbed out of Heero's sparse closet and dove under the bed.

He didn't have time to wonder where the bra under there had come from before he climbed out and looked for another hiding place.    He crouched behind the inattentive couple and watched while Wufei used his scythe to cut down the door.    Alarms started to go off, warning Wufei to step away from the door, yet Relena and Heero still didn't respond.

Automatic bullets from the wall shot at poor Wufei as he grumbled about Heero's new security system.    He spit at the lock keyboard and it started to short-circuit.     This automatically put a call into the fire department.    As sirens sounded in the distance, Wufei gave up trying to capture Duo; it wasn't worth the arrest.    Duo came out from his hiding place, only to have Heero grab him by the lapel of his evening jacket.

Was nothing sacred in this house?

Duo struggled to get out of the iron grip.   Heero instinctively took a step backwards as Duo tried to land a punch on his jaw.   He knocked Relena backward, and she tumbled through the open window.    Heero lunged and grabbed her, still holding on to poor Duo's jacket.    Duo's added and unaccounted weight threw Heero off balance and they all plummeted out the window and into the garden below.   

Heero twisted himself as they fell so he would take the brunt of the fall from Relena.    Duo was on his own, and while his friends landed safely in deep snow, he landed face down in a rosebush.     The fire department swung down the driveway and ran into the castle.    Soon water was streaming out of Heero's bedroom window and freezing on the three below.    Heero moaned about just cleaning his room that morning.

Duo got up from the bush, mumbling that his face would scarred for life as he picked a few thorns off his nose.    He slipped on the now slick surface of the yard and slid onto the driveway.    The fire truck started to move towards him.    Relena cringed and closed her eyes, Heero made a heroic superman-like lunge, and someone screamed from the second floor.

Duo calmly got up and walked off the road and into the house.    Chaos ensued as the truck drove safely by.

~*~*~*~*~

The 2nd last chapter is complete.   Stay tuned for the last installment (that I know of) coming out as soon as I write it.    Please review, (no use asking for you to read, you got this far didn't you?)   and check out my other stories.

1. Clinic's Therapy

2. The Preventor Grapevine

3. Must I Kill You?!?

4. Valentine's Day Showdown

Please visit my site http:///www.geocities.com/relenafanel you can submit a hilarious story or just check out the pages on it.    *whispers really loud* Go to my site.