Earl Grey Frappuccinos: What happens when the Borg assimilate Starbucks.
By Sir Captain Delyon
Disclaimer: I do not own either Star Trek or Starbucks. If I did, I would be much richer. And I know the Earl Grey tea Picard orders is produced from the replicator, but you don't really think he could get Frappuccinos for free, do you?
"Mr. Worf, open hailing frequencies to Earth. I want to know why I haven't received my shipment of Earl Grey Frappuccinos."
The voice was that of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, coming onto the bridge from the turbolift after checking the cargo bays for his monthly delivery. After Starbucks had opened franchises near Alpha Centauri and Qo'noS, he had changed his regular drink from "tea, Earl Grey, hot" to "Earl Grey Frappuccino, extra sugar."
"Hailing frequencies open, sir." replied Worf from the tactical station.
"Mr. Richards, is it?" Picard addressed the Starbucks owner who now appeared on the main viewer.
"Ah, Captain Picard," Richards said. "What can I do for you?"
"I have missed my shipment of Frappuccinos from your Alpha Centauri station. Is there anything you can do about it?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. You see, there have been problems with the Ferengi on our place on Deep Space Nine's Promenade, and…"
"I don't want excuses, Richards. I want my Frappuccinos."
"I'll have them sent off immediately. Starbucks out."
The viewer changed to show the usual starscape. Picard began thinking about what he would have to do if the batch did not arrive. It seemed impossible that he would have to resort to regular Earl Grey again.
^^**^^**^^**^^
In a far region of the Delta Quadrant, the Borg's main station orbited a dead planet, assimilated tens of thousands of years ago. Here the Borg Queen resided, the central mind in the collective's conquest of the galaxy. Now they would conquer the Federation, the only civilization, excepting Species 8472, who had effectively resisted assimilation. Now it would come easily.
The Borg Queen stepped down from her throne to speak to the collective, give them orders to add the species of the Federation to the collective.
"You must comply with this order. You will assimilate Federation Commercial Industry 113, which is the only institution capable of producing Substance 1466, the Earl Grey Frappuccino. This will bring Locutus back to us, willingly this time. Once Locutus is part of us again, we will destroy the Federation easily."
To Be Continued
