DISCLAIMER: I don't own gundam wing or any of its characters. I don't even own my car so don't sue me*_*

Quietly: Home-coming

By: Lara Winner

I'm nervous. This is bad because I never get nervous. I may procrastinate or I may have an aversion to things I have to do and I might have to force myself to get things done sometimes but I've never gotten nervous. My heart is racing. My stomach is twisting in a vicious knot. I stuffed my hands in my pocket to keep them from shaking and I keep walking aimlessly because I scared to reach my destination.

Yes, the God of Death has just admitted he's scared.

I have every reason to be. I'm about to do something that, if I was smart, I would have done years ago. The only problem is I think I've fucked up beyond repair. Anybody with a smidgen of common sense knows that when you spend the night making love to someone you don't leave the person the next morning without a good bye. Not unless it's a one night stand and in that case, you don't even go to sleep, you just screw 'em and leave.

I've had my share of one night stands, long before I moved in with Hilde and long before Heero and our disaster of a relationship. I've been guilty of getting my kicks and walking away because it didn't mean anything. But the other person involved never cared either. It was no big deal. But I messed up with Hilde, really really bad.

At the moment I thought it was best if I just left. I was afraid that if I stayed I'd only end up screwing with her emotions even more. I know she still cared about me on some level and I didn't want to hurt her. I mean at the time I still had to come to terms about Heero and I was in no position to make her any promises. But the main reason I left was that I didn't want to know if she regretted what happened. The frame of mind I was in then, I don't think I could've handled that.

So I left and ran like a friggin' coward and basically made sure that if she didn't regret it that night then she definitely regretted it when she woke up to an empty bed. I shot any chance I had with her straight to hell. If she never speaks to me again I completely deserve it.

In a nutshell, I fucked up and now I'm about to pay for it. I've been wandering the downtown district of L2 all day, killing time and stalling instead of just facing Hilde. But I'm not leaving L2 till I talk to her. Or at least attempt to. I may get the door slammed in my face. I wouldn't blame her.

But I'm hoping, betting on luck that I don't have, that she understands why I left and will give me the chance to explain. If there is a God maybe she'll let me make it up to her. It took me almost three months to realize that I'll never be able to move on till I face what I feel for her. I still love her and I can't ignore the part of me that wants to be with her. Today is the deciding factor. Either something starts or it ends for good. I've already bought a shuttle ticket because I know where I'll end up.

Alone as always…

I don't like being alone, I guess no body does, but these few months have done me good. I needed the space and I've put Heero behind me, well, as much as I'll ever be able to. I miss him. I will admit it and I know that I'm always going to wonder what he's doing now and how he's getting by but that's water under a burned bridge. I think it's better for both of us this way. Heero needs to learn to live for himself, not off of me. And I need to learn to find my self-worth on my own terms and not by breaking myself to make everyone else happy. It's just not as easy as I thought it would be.

I'm the sucker everybody fucks over. I'm beginning to think that that's a part of my personality that I'll never be able to change. I lead with my heart and that the easiest way to get it broken. Maybe it was the church environment of my childhood or maybe it's the fact that I'll do anything so people will like me. I'll turn myself inside out, I'll bleed, I'll run in circles, I'll even go as far as to make a complete jackass out of myself and take the rap for being stupid just to see people smile. And the only thing I've ever wanted in return was a place to belong.

But am I wrong to want to be happy. I'm tired of killing myself and getting hurt. And I'm on the verge of taking the fall once again. But this is my own damn fault. I know she won't want me around. I did the unforgivable and even if she has forgiven me knowing Hilde, she's moved on by now. She may even be with someone. My fists clench as for one second I'm filled with insane jealousy. But I don't have the right to fee that way. I don't like the idea of her with another man, not one bit, but I can't deny her that. If she's taken I'll walk away. I just wish I had taken the chance and told her the truth before we went our separate ways. We past up a chance and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

"Duo?" I pause as a voice calls out my name, "Duo Maxwell, well I'll be."

I turn, groaning inwardly. I'm really not in the mood to make idle chit-chat with people who haven't seen me in years. But I swallow the sarcastic greeting that I'm tempted to blurt out and forcing a bright smile as I say politely. "Hi Nathan, how's it going?"

He's smirking at me, this know-it-all grin that makes my skin crawl. I never did like the guy but Hilde had always liked doing business with him. She said he was a good supplier, all personal reservations aside. There's just something about the man always seems to get on my nerves and right now is no exception.

"I guess you're here to over see the agreement right?" Nathan asks as he pulls the stained rag he had tucked in his back pocket to wipe the sweat off his round, chubby face.

I frown in confusion. "What agreement?"

He just snickers. "I hope you ain't planning to give me a run for my money. I'm not letting this opportunity pass, I've been waiting for her to cave."

"Wha-"

"Ya know Maxwell, I told Hilde, I said you'll never run this yard by yourself. And I was right. She doesn't know enough about the business and she very gullible. I've even put some great deals over on her. But she's a woman and she has no place in the metal works industry. I told her she'd run that yard to ruin. I'm just glad she deciding to sell the place before it gets any worse."

I listened to his inane chatter stupefied for a moment. Hilde was selling the yard to Nathan? As it sank in I felt the anger begin pumping in my blood. How dare he talk about her like that. Gritting my teeth I asked, "Why is she selling? I know it's not because of lack of business."

If Nathan sensed my anger the son-of-a-bitch didn't show it. "She said she's leaving the colony. Something about going to earth and living there. I don't know, the girl's as flighty as a fruitloop. You should know, you lived with her and ya also left like a bat out of hell. Smart boy."

"Nathan," I grinned coldly, clenching my fists tightly so I wouldn't wrap them around his neck, "Next time you talk about something, know what your talking about first because you don't know jack shit about the situation and it's not your goddamn business. And if I were you I wouldn't get your hopes up, you're not getting your hands on MY scrap yard."

Without another word I turned away knowing that if I stayed I'd kill the asshole. I don't have the time to waist, I'll find a place to hide his body later. Right now I need to stop Hilde before I let her slip away once again. I won't let this last chance fade as I stand back and watch quietly.

A.N.- You asked for it and now you've got it. *starts in creepy announcer voice* So where do we go from here? Does Duo catch Hilde in time? Do they make amends? Does she slam the door in his face? Stay tuned for the next episode if Quietly…er… Sorry, got a little carried away. Love you guys! Thanks for reading!!!!*_*