Warning:
This story contains shounen ai, which implies male/male love. Please do
not read if such ideas upset you. Please use your good judgment.
This fiction also contains character death.
Rated R for violence, strong language and sexual situations.
Disclaimer: "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers" does not belong to me.
I am but a lowly slug.
Any comments or suggestions are welcome as long as they are constructive.
Heck, if you just want to chat samurai troopers, feel free to drop me a
line.
Comments can be made at: Li_bell_ule@yahoo.com
Thanks, Li
Chapter
Two
Confronting the Years
Seiji stared at him unable to respond-- his body
stilled, shocked into a stupor. Ryo's blue eyes were wide and
honest. They shared the same genuine surprise in each other's
presence.
Ryo's appearance had
changed very little. Oh, he was taller now, perhaps taller than Seiji,
and he had grown into himself, but his presence was the same. Familiar.
And he still held a fondness for worn, blue jeans and a t-shirt.
"Seiji..." Ryo
whispered. His name rolled softly off his tongue, such a sweet sound
Seiji remembered, that hearing it now was almost cruel.
Then suddenly, Ryo
flung himself at him, pulling Seiji into a tight embrace.
"I can't believe
it's you!" He said, bubbling with the unfailing effervescence that was so
uniquely his own. "You're really here."
Ryo pulled
back. "Seiji?" Uncertainty in his gesture-- had he overstepped
himself?
"I am here just as
surely as you are." Seiji responded finally. Despite his intentions
to maintain his indifference, he melted against Ryo's fire and stole a touch at
his arm.
"How good it is to
see you," Ryo said, but his eyes bore sadness. "You feel it too-- that's
why you're here." Disappointment was not quite expelled from his
statement.
"Yes." Seiji's
voice was thick, distracted. Why couldn't he concentrate? "It's
been a while, hasn't it Ryo?"
Ryo nodded, unable
to keep a smile from his lips.
Still amazed, they
stared at each other-- touching with their eyes.
Suddenly,
impulsively almost, "Come with me?" Ryo asked, "Please?" His eyes
were kind, suggesting no aggression.
Seiji smiled despite
himself.
"All right."
He said simply, allowing Ryo to lead him once more.
*****
The house that
Nasuti had shared with them had once been impressive. Now, it sat wearily
in its foundation, moaning as the wind thrashed against it. The white
paint was peeling off to reveal old, gray wood underneath and many of the
faded, red shingles were missing, leaving gaping holes in the roof. Most
of the grand windows were intact, but overcast with cobwebs and dust.
The property had
previously been quite valuable, but after Nasuti's sudden death her parents
were in such distress that they let the estate decay. They had planned to
sell the sad, old house, until a hurricane over three summers back, destroyed
much of the property and prospective buyers stopped showing interest. It
was too expensive to upkeep.
With no caretaker,
the grand house would continue to deteriorate until the Yagyu's were ready to
deal with it.
As Ryo and Seiji
made their way up the steps, the wood creaked and moaned under their
weight. No one had visited this place in years.
Ryo pushed against
the large, swollen door and it opened after one hard shove.
"I didn't lock
it..." He murmured. "I never planned to be away so long."
A gust of stale air
permeated Seiji's senses as he followed Ryo into the house. Covered with
dust and gossamer cobwebs, a preternatural atmosphere loomed. Seiji
peered into the darkened rooms, seeing his memories play in the shadows.
His eyes were not to
be trusted, Seiji determined.
There was the couch
they had all piled onto to watch the news, and later the Saturday afternoon
movie. Yet, it wasn't-- this place was dust capped, dismal and
spiritless.
Ryo went into the
kitchen. Only, it could not be the same space Shin had kept immaculately
clean-- chased Shuu out of just before dinner-- It
was as if time stopped suddenly-- coming to a leering halt-- abandoning the
life of the house.
Seeing this place
now contradicted the only happiness Seiji ever knew.
"I
can't..." Seiji whispered, taking a step backward. "I can't do
this."
Seiji fled the room, going back the way they had come, through
the swollen front door, down the rickety steps--
Ryo caught up with
him there, as he reached the dead grass of the front yard and snagged him by
the elbow.
"Ryo."
Seiji's voice was low, yet demanded attention. Ryo let go of his arm.
The warriors stared
at each other-- a conversation conveyed through unwavering glances.
Ryo felt himself
burn under Seiji's unrelenting violet gaze.
Shaking his head,
his remark contorted with anger, Ryo declared, "You left us."
"What choice did I
have?" Seiji demanded, folding his arms.
"You didn't
even say goodbye." Ryo's voice was rising with emotion. "You
just took off like none of this-- like none of us mattered."
"I am not proud of
abandoning all of you, but I had little option otherwise."
"Nobody made you
leave."
"Is that what you
think?"
"Seiji--."
"No," He
interrupted, taking a step closer. "Is that what you think, Ryo? Is
that what you've told yourself?"
Ryo was afire with
indignation, smoldering with a dangerous quiet.
"Are you still
so blind? Could you not see how much you--." Seiji halted, his hard
glare boring into Ryo. He couldn't bring himself to admit, not even after
all these years, how severely Ryo had hurt him.
"I could not save
her, Ryo." He murmured. "It was beyond my power to restore Nasuti
from death."
It would have been
better had Seiji attacked him-- instead of this—guilting him with
truth.
Ryo's eyes
tempered. "I know that." He said quickly.
"Do you?"
Seiji whispered, daring him.
Ryo swallowed.
"Yes."
He'd been dreading
and yearning for this ever since Seiji walked out. Needing to release
this burden from his soul, and yet not knowing how, Ryo faltered for a moment
in the silence.
How to explain what
he barely understood himself?
"I kept thinking
you'd come back," Ryo whispered. "Deep down, I thought you'd return to
kick my ass." He smiled slightly. "I was terrible to you." He
admitted. "I can't explain it, but I've spent a lot of time trying to
remember why I was so angry. It was as if the day you left, my insanity
left with you... all of a sudden, it was lifted and I was horrified."
"Then we both have
regrets." Seiji replied quietly.
"Yes." Ryo
took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and let the words flow from his
heart to his lips. "But I need to say this. I am sorry,
Seiji. I've wanted to tell you for so long. I know I hurt you and I
regret it more than anything else. I wish I could take it all back.
I was such a fool."
"No more a fool than
I."
"Forgive
me..." Ryo pleaded earnestly.
He should be
angry. He should be furious. Ryo had irrevocably changed his life
and after five years, had only offered a modest apology for all that he had
uprooted.
"...I don't know how
to be around you, Ryo." Seiji admitted. "My head is telling
me that I should be angry with you, but my heart won't let me."
Seiji found himself wanting
to let it go, wanting to be familiar with, and close to someone again.
"Forgiveness must be
mutual." He carefully replied.
"We forgive each
other then?" Ryo asked hopefully.
Seiji smiled and
nodded silently.
A mixture of relief
and gladness spread across Ryo's face in a lopsided grin.
*****
A mighty gust
whipped at the old house, causing the structure to creek and moan in the
wind. Only the cusp of spring, the descending sun took its warmth with
it, leaving the evenings in bitterness. The two warriors had settled into
the living room, finding the other rooms of the house too cold and a bit too
daunting to inhabit.
Seiji curled himself
into one of the large armchairs, tucking his legs beneath him on the seat
cushion, while Ryo stood at the hearth, starting a fire in the fireplace.
Now that the astonishment of Ryo's presence had worn off, curiosity had taken
Seiji over.
"What happened
after I left?" He asked.
Ryo lifted the poker
from the hearth and pushed at the smoldering embers, sending a flurry of orange
flakes into the air. "We all scattered to the wind." He
knelt on the floor and looked up at him. "Touma was the first to go
after you left. He was furious with me. And you."
Ryo sat back,
stretching out his legs on the floor, warming his back by the fire.
Silence passed between them until Ryo spoke again.
"Shuu headed
back home a few months after Touma left. Well, he was called back..."
"What happened?"
"His father had a
heart attack. It was real touch and go for a while. He survived it,
but now he can hardly maintain the family business. Shuu is going to step
in."
"Taking over the
Chinese food restaurant?"
"Eventually."
Ryo smirked. "He told me he liked his family's food better when he didn't
have to serve it."
Seiji remarked,
"That sounds like Shuu."
"Have you heard at
all from Touma?" Ryo asked.
"Only a couple of
times in five years. He's in college, studying at Tokyo U." Then
Seiji added, "But... I think it's mostly to get away from his family.
Things have been rough since his parents divorced."
"That's too
bad." Ryo said.
There was a lull in
their conversation, until Ryo asked hesitantly, "Do you know about Shin?"
Seiji nodded,
saying, "I got a letter from Touma, last I heard about either of them."
"I went to visit
Shin once," Ryo began. "It was right after I'd found out."
Seiji listened
patiently as Ryo struggled with the words.
"They had him
restrained so he wouldn't hurt himself..." Ryo's voice faltered.
"He-- he didn't recognize me-- countless battles, we fought side by side and he
had no idea who I was."
Ryo paused
again. "The doctors said he'd get progressively worse. That was two
years ago. He's probably completely gone now."
Shin had fallen into
hard times, slowly going insane. The sudden isolation was too much for
him to cope with. He started talking about netherspirits and heavily
armored warriors, which he fought against. His mother, not knowing what
to do, had checked him into an institution and left him there for the doctors
to deal with.
Ryo felt his anger
swell. "I couldn't do anything, Seiji. I've never felt so--
so helpless."
"There was nothing
you could have done."
"If not me then
who?" Ryo challenged. "If I had been there for him maybe this
wouldn't have happened--."
"Ryo, you cannot
blame yourself." Seiji said. "If you are to blame, then it is my
fault too."
"You're not the one
who drove everybody away!"
"I am the one who
broke our circle."
Ryo sighed, raking a
hand through his black hair. "What a mess our lives have become. If
only--"
"No good has ever
come from dwelling on the 'if's." Seiji said. "You cannot change
what has happened."
"Stop making so much
damn sense!" Ryo growled.
"You'd prefer it if
I let you wallow in self pity?" Seiji asked, eyebrow raised. "Let
you bask in misery?"
"Yes!" Ryo
said defiantly, humor in his eyes. "If I am to be miserable I am glad
that you are here to keep me company." Suddenly, the mirth was gone from
his countenance, a sullenness shadowing his face. "I haven't had a
companion for many years..."
Seiji suspected,
with a deep sadness, what Ryo was not saying.
"Where's
Byakuen?" He asked gently.
Ryo visibly
stiffened, his chest halting in mid breath at the mention of his beloved white
tiger.
Turning from Seiji,
Ryo stared into the flames of the fire, murmuring indistinctly, "He's dead."
The depth of Ryo's
loss was immense.
Byakuen had been
with Ryo longer than Seiji had known him. As he understood it, Byakuen
was the only family Ryo had left-- his father had disappeared on an expedition,
and had been presumed dead long ago.
"I am sorry," Seiji
said, watching Ryo's back. He heard Ryo sigh, seeing his shoulders droop
in defeat as he recoiled away from the memory.
"...that's okay, you
didn't know." Ryo raked his fingers through his hair. "It was
odd. I let him out one night and he didn't come back. I waited two
days before I searched for him. I mean, sometimes he'd go out and not
come back for a few days, but this was different. I never found him...
but I know that he's dead. I'd hate to think that a poacher--."
Ryo trailed off, obviously upset.
Not wanting to think
of Byakuen, Ryo stood and turned back to Seiji.
"Where did you go
for all that time?" He plopped down on the hassock in front of Seiji's
chair, a puff of dust escaping as he sat.
"To the dojo."
Seiji's voice was surprisingly calm. "To my father."
Ryo looked up at him
sharply, well aware of the relationship between Seiji and his father.
From fragments of carefully guarded conversations over the years, Ryo had been
able to piece together Seiji's past.
With great pride in
his heritage, Sensei Date had raised Seiji, in a very strict, traditional
Japanese upbringing, but not much else. It was with scorn that he
regarded his only son, who resembled the wanton, American woman that had
trapped him with her pregnancy. After only a few years of marriage, she
took off, saddling him with a permanent reminder of his weakness-- his
three-year-old son, Seiji.
"I had
forgotten," began Seiji, tightly. "Just how much I dishonor
him." Blond hair covered half his face, but it was not enough to
obscure the torrent of emotion that raged behind his violet eyes.
Leaning forward,
tenderly placing a hand on Seiji's knee, Ryo asked him, "How can that possibly
be?"
"Gaijin..." Seiji
spat, letting his anger slip through, as he tugged at his blond hair for
emphasis. "I am his greatest sin."
"No, Seiji," Ryo
said, daring to look him in the eye. "Don't believe that."
A hard glare from
Seiji told him that this subject was not up for debate, so, like his hand
falling from Seiji's knee, Ryo let the conversation drop. He had almost
been there-- almost broken through the partition Seiji built around
himself.
Things had not gone
very well since the two had parted five years ago. It seemed that
Nasuti's death was the stem of a long line of misfortunes.
As he listened to
the crackle of the fire, Ryo felt sleep starting to creep up on him. He
settled back down on the floor, leaning against the front of Seiji's armchair,
his neck pressed into the seat cushion, his head resting gently against Seiji's
knees.
"What brought
you back here?" Ryo asked drowsily, eyes closed.
"A feeling."
Seiji shrugged. "The armor, I guess. I don't really know."
"Nasuti led me
here." Ryo disclosed quietly. He yawned, adding, "I know
it was her."
Seiji didn't answer
him, but Ryo could have sworn that he felt his fingers brushing through his
dark hair.
"I think she
wanted us to reunite." Ryo whispered, before sleep claimed
him. "To make amends."
"Perhaps."
Seiji murmured cryptically.
He hoped Ryo was
right, for he felt that they may have been rallied for a much darker
purpose.
Continued in Chapter Three: Revelations
