Part 6
Manoeuvring her crutches as carefully as she could, Buffy slowly made her way down the steep steps of the aeroplane. As her small feet landed safely on the tarmac at Sunnydale airport, she took a deep breath and turned to face the unknown.
**So this is Sunnydale** She thought as her eyes flickered nervously at her new surroundings. All around her, the grey faceless buildings that framed the airport, seemed to close in as she searched deep into her mind for a trigger, anything that would break through the endless black void that had stolen her life.
Planes, hangars, buildings, people.... Nothing. Not one thing reached through the blackness in recognition and welcomed her home.
**Oh God, I'm still lost**
One by one, the other passengers from the flight moved impatiently passed the small girl with the bruised face and bandaged leg in their haste to collect their luggage and reach their own final destination. But Buffy was in no hurry... She was too busy being scared to death.
"Well, what do you think of the place so far?" Angel's calm voice floated into her ear as he too descended the steps of the plane and continued on past her.
Leaning heavily on the two metal crutches for support, Buffy couldn't move. A tidal wave of fear and uncertainty swept over her tired limbs, leaving her rooted to the spot. She couldn't do this; she was terrified of taking the next step because that step would lead her straight into the past. And until she could remember that past, her whole future would be left in limbo.
**Stop feeling so sorry for yourself ** A tiny spark of inner strength struggled through her fear.
**Pull yourself together, Summers. You might never have visited this airport. That could be the reason you don't remember it**
The small thought that danced lightly through her head brought little comfort. Neither did the fact that she continued to think of herself as *Summers*. It was discouraging that she remembered her maiden name and not the name of the man she had married, but no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't bring herself to use her husband's surname.
"Are you all right?" Angel asked softly, after noticing that his wife had stopped moving.
Buffy didn't reply at first. To the outside world she looked deep in thought as she carefully scanned the small airport. But sadly, no matter how hard she tried; the building just looked the same as the one they had just left. It was a lot smaller than New York airport and the weather here was much nicer but apart from that, to Buffy, it was just an airport. Just another disappointing dead-end.
Seeing the pain slip across her face, Angel took a small step back and reaching out his arm, he gently squeezed her shoulder
"Come on, lets get you home" As he spoke, a hint of concern softened his hard features.
With a weary sigh of disappointment, Buffy slowly moved away from the plane and hoped with all her heart that something on the other side of the airport would look more familiar....
On reaching the main terminal, Buffy and Angel walked silently through the customs area and then on to collect their small amount of luggage. Angel had offered to find a wheelchair but his obstinate wife had blankly refused and continued to hobble painfully until they exited the building.
"You really shouldn't be putting so much pressure on that foot. The doctor told you to rest it for a few more days. I really don't mind getting you a chair" Angel offered again as he watched the pain grow in Buffy's stubborn eyes.
"I'm fine" Buffy mumbled, trying to keep her disappointment from showing. The outside of the airport looked as unfamiliar as the inside.
Moving froward she stumbled slightly and when Angel reached out to stop her falling, she pushed him away.
"I'm not a child, I can manage perfectly alright on my own" Buffy snapped, but she wasn't so much angry at Angel's offer of help as she was of her own failure. **Her failure to walk, but more importantly, her failure to remember.**
Angel backed away, his face darkening at her cruel dismissal.
"Suit yourself," He smiled tightly, unsure why he felt so annoyed by her reluctance to accept his help.
**If the damn woman wanted to cripple herself why should he care..** But that was always his trouble.. He did care. No matter how hard he fought to hate her, part of him still cared. **A small part of him would always care.**
Watching his body language change, Buffy realised how unfair her outburst had been, and apologised..
" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.. It's just so...."
"Frustrating?" Angel offered.
Buffy nodded.
"Yeah, that's exactly what it is" she sighed sadly accepting the truth.
**Frustrating was the understatement of the year**
"Come on, its not far now, lets get out of this place?" Angel took her elbow and guided her safely across the parking lot to where he had left his car ten days earlier.
This time Buffy didn't protest, she even welcomed the support of his warm hand on her tired arm. For the first time since waking into this nightmarish world, she actually felt safe in his presence. The feeling was surprisingly comforting.
**This man might not like you very much but he'd never let you fall.** Although the thought came out from nowhere, Buffy knew it was true.
On reaching his parking place Angel checked once again on the state of her health.
"Are you sure you're alright? You look very pale."
This time there was no violent outburst.
Buffy just nodded her head sadly and after passing Angel her crutches, she slowly sank into the passenger's seat of the black Plymouth convertible. Immediately, the smell of polish and leather washed over her senses and she breathed it in deeply. It was familiar and comforting but more than that, the subtle blend of aromas was the first thing she'd recognised in what felt a lifetime. She knew without a doubt that she'd travelled in this convertible many times before.
Angel threw the luggage in the boot, slammed the lid and dropped in the seat beside her.
" Nice car" Buffy sighed softly, running her hand admiringly over the dashboard. Even the feel of it beneath her fingertips felt familiar.
At her comment, Angel couldn't resist the chuckle he gave back.
" You always thought so. And before you ask Buffy, the answer's no, I'm still not letting you drive it"
Buffy looked up and for the first time since arriving in Sunnydale she smiled
"I think that's a very wise idea, I don't seem to remember learning how to drive" She teased this time and her eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief.
As her warm smile tore into his heart, Angel joined in with the joke and did a little teasing of his own.
"The way you used to drive, I think that can be called that a plus"
Buffy tried to smile but failed miserably to make it look convincing.. There was nothing good about losing everything you had ever learned. There were no pluses as far as she could see.
Knowing he was fighting an uphill battle, Angel started the car and moved out of the car park.
" I know this is hard but it will get better. You just have to keep believing that" He offered reassuringly.
Buffy lifted her face at the concern she had heard in his voice and although she couldn't find it in her heart to believe him, she was more than grateful that he tried.
As Angel paid the parking fee and joined the line of traffic leaving the airport, she turned away and looked out of the side window, hoping to catch a glimmer of something, anything that would tell her she was really home.
After they had been driving for a few minutes, Angel glanced over to see his wife deeply engrossed in the passing scenery. Her delicate features looked strained as she tried to place the assortment of buildings flashing passed without any success. He could feel the growing disappointment radiating from her small body as yet another row of houses passed by with no recognition. No matter how helpless Angel felt, he knew this was something Buffy could only do by herself.
"I feel as if I'm looking out from behind a dream, one of those deja vu ones where you know you've seen it all before and yet.."
Buffy sighed again with frustration. This time they were passing the university she had once attended, before her mother's death had brought an end to her education. On Angel's mention that she had once attended classes there, Buffy sank deeper into her depression, she couldn't remember a single day she'd ever spent there.
"Maybe you're trying too hard" Angel offered again.
Buffy shook her head and watched the campus flash past the widow as he drove a little faster.
"It's in there, I can feel it. It feels as if I'm returning to a place I once visited as a child. It's vaguely familiar but nothing really jumps out at me. Sunnydale is a lot smaller than I imagined" Her small voice trembled and the sound of tears was plainly heard by both of them.
Without taking his eyes off the road, Angel reached over and softly squeezed her hand.
"It will all sort itself out in the end" He hated the thought of her crying. Buffy was so strong and this new weakness was something he hadn't expected.
At the touch of his warm fingers, Buffy shivered. She suddenly found herself holding her breath as he unconsciously caressed her hand.
After a few seconds, and after realising what he was doing, Angel stopped and placed his hand back on the steering wheel, much to Buffy's disappointment.
"I'll drive the long way round, that will give you a clearer picture of Sunnydale" Angel mumbled and cursed himself for touching her hand. Now all he could think about was how much he wanted to hold her, comfort her, wipe away her tears and it was all a waste of energy. At the end of the day all he wanted was answers and when he had them, the bitch could cry a river for all he cared.
**Keep saying it and you might believe it one of these days** Even his own thoughts knew he was lying.
One by one places of importance went by unobserved.
As they drove past Restfield cemetery, Angel resisted telling Buffy that her mother was buried there. He knew that little snippet of information would be too hard on the first day, some things really could wait.
"It feels as if I've not been here for years.. Liam, just how long was I away?" The question was innocent. Buffy had no idea how much the answer would shock her.
For a second, Angel was caught completely off guard.
He didn't answer at once. Speeding up to pass a couple of slower moving cars in the outside lane, he looked deep in thought as if trying to decide whether to reply or not.
"A little over three months" He finally gave in and answered.
Keeping his eyes firmly on the road ahead, Angel spoke quietly, as if it hurt just saying the words out aloud.
"Three months?" Buffy was stunned, she had expected to hear a few days, a week at most.
"What was I doing that kept me away for so long?"
Angel slowed the car as the traffic lights ahead turned red. His long fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.
"You said you needed some time on your own. You had a lot of stuff going on in your life with the gallery and such..." The well practiced lie slipped easily over his tongue.
Once again, he found himself lying rather than coming out and saying just what needed to be said. Angel bit back the sigh that rose in his throat. Buffy was going to find out sooner or later but until then...
With his reply Buffy remained silent. Trying desperately to add two and two together without coming up with six. There was something really wrong with this whole picture. People didn't just take off for three months at a time, not normal people with normal lives...
**Did they?**
After letting a dozen different scenarios play havoc with her imagination, she asked the question that was bothering her most.
" Liam?"
"Yes" he replied tightly not taking his eyes off the car in front.
"Did we fight..?"
"Sorry?"
At his cold glare Buffy tried a different approach.
"Did we argue?"
" That's a strange question" Angel didn't like the way this was heading, or what she seemed to be insinuating.
"You said I needed space, I was just wondering if we quarrelled.." Buffy looked up and her eyes reflected all the turmoil she felt.
Taking a deep breath Angel knew this question could only be answered with the truth.
"No, we never fought. In fact we never argued Buffy, not once"
It was true and that's what hurt him the most. They had always had the most perfect marriage... or so he had always believed
**What a fucking joke that turned out to be**
With the traffic light switching to green Angel pulled away. Trying to get his mind off Buffy's earlier question, he changed the subject by describing different places of interest in a hope they might set off a trigger in her memory. But, sadly, each location continued to draw a blank expression.
Passing the high school, Buffy gasped at the black, burnt out shell.
"What on earth happened there?" Her voice trembled; just the thought of fire now terrified her.
"Graduation day. 1999 I think. You told me there was a fire during the speeches, the principal and a few of the students were killed. They have only just started to rebuild"
At the confirmation of the fire Buffy felt a cold shiver cover her body and sat further into the seat. She remained silent then until Angel pointed out the next landmark.
"That's the Bronze" He glanced at her as the traffic slowed. " Recognise it?"
Looking out at the small club, Buffy's eyes lit up.
"I think so" At last a building really did look familiar. "I have a feeling I spent most of my teenage years behind those doors," She added getting more and more excited.
"You did" A small smile lifted the corners of Angel's mouth at his success. But even though he smiled, he knew the real test was fast approaching.
Turning the corner of Ravello Drive, Angel stopped the car outside number 1630 and waited.
"Oh God, I know this house....." Buffy's grinned with deep relief. She didn't know why she knew it but the picture was imprinted in her heart.
"I've seen this house before..."
"Of course you have Buffy, about a million times. It's your home"
Angel jumped out of the car. Walking to the other side, he opened the passenger's door and held out his hand.
He smiled, but for reasons of his own it failed to penetrate his dark brown eyes.
"Welcome home, Buffy."
The coolness that returned to his deep, rich voice sent a shiver of uncertainty screaming through her body.
**Home?**
As she took the first step, Buffy was overwhelmed with a terrible urge to turn and run...
**But where on earth could she go?**
Manoeuvring her crutches as carefully as she could, Buffy slowly made her way down the steep steps of the aeroplane. As her small feet landed safely on the tarmac at Sunnydale airport, she took a deep breath and turned to face the unknown.
**So this is Sunnydale** She thought as her eyes flickered nervously at her new surroundings. All around her, the grey faceless buildings that framed the airport, seemed to close in as she searched deep into her mind for a trigger, anything that would break through the endless black void that had stolen her life.
Planes, hangars, buildings, people.... Nothing. Not one thing reached through the blackness in recognition and welcomed her home.
**Oh God, I'm still lost**
One by one, the other passengers from the flight moved impatiently passed the small girl with the bruised face and bandaged leg in their haste to collect their luggage and reach their own final destination. But Buffy was in no hurry... She was too busy being scared to death.
"Well, what do you think of the place so far?" Angel's calm voice floated into her ear as he too descended the steps of the plane and continued on past her.
Leaning heavily on the two metal crutches for support, Buffy couldn't move. A tidal wave of fear and uncertainty swept over her tired limbs, leaving her rooted to the spot. She couldn't do this; she was terrified of taking the next step because that step would lead her straight into the past. And until she could remember that past, her whole future would be left in limbo.
**Stop feeling so sorry for yourself ** A tiny spark of inner strength struggled through her fear.
**Pull yourself together, Summers. You might never have visited this airport. That could be the reason you don't remember it**
The small thought that danced lightly through her head brought little comfort. Neither did the fact that she continued to think of herself as *Summers*. It was discouraging that she remembered her maiden name and not the name of the man she had married, but no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't bring herself to use her husband's surname.
"Are you all right?" Angel asked softly, after noticing that his wife had stopped moving.
Buffy didn't reply at first. To the outside world she looked deep in thought as she carefully scanned the small airport. But sadly, no matter how hard she tried; the building just looked the same as the one they had just left. It was a lot smaller than New York airport and the weather here was much nicer but apart from that, to Buffy, it was just an airport. Just another disappointing dead-end.
Seeing the pain slip across her face, Angel took a small step back and reaching out his arm, he gently squeezed her shoulder
"Come on, lets get you home" As he spoke, a hint of concern softened his hard features.
With a weary sigh of disappointment, Buffy slowly moved away from the plane and hoped with all her heart that something on the other side of the airport would look more familiar....
On reaching the main terminal, Buffy and Angel walked silently through the customs area and then on to collect their small amount of luggage. Angel had offered to find a wheelchair but his obstinate wife had blankly refused and continued to hobble painfully until they exited the building.
"You really shouldn't be putting so much pressure on that foot. The doctor told you to rest it for a few more days. I really don't mind getting you a chair" Angel offered again as he watched the pain grow in Buffy's stubborn eyes.
"I'm fine" Buffy mumbled, trying to keep her disappointment from showing. The outside of the airport looked as unfamiliar as the inside.
Moving froward she stumbled slightly and when Angel reached out to stop her falling, she pushed him away.
"I'm not a child, I can manage perfectly alright on my own" Buffy snapped, but she wasn't so much angry at Angel's offer of help as she was of her own failure. **Her failure to walk, but more importantly, her failure to remember.**
Angel backed away, his face darkening at her cruel dismissal.
"Suit yourself," He smiled tightly, unsure why he felt so annoyed by her reluctance to accept his help.
**If the damn woman wanted to cripple herself why should he care..** But that was always his trouble.. He did care. No matter how hard he fought to hate her, part of him still cared. **A small part of him would always care.**
Watching his body language change, Buffy realised how unfair her outburst had been, and apologised..
" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.. It's just so...."
"Frustrating?" Angel offered.
Buffy nodded.
"Yeah, that's exactly what it is" she sighed sadly accepting the truth.
**Frustrating was the understatement of the year**
"Come on, its not far now, lets get out of this place?" Angel took her elbow and guided her safely across the parking lot to where he had left his car ten days earlier.
This time Buffy didn't protest, she even welcomed the support of his warm hand on her tired arm. For the first time since waking into this nightmarish world, she actually felt safe in his presence. The feeling was surprisingly comforting.
**This man might not like you very much but he'd never let you fall.** Although the thought came out from nowhere, Buffy knew it was true.
On reaching his parking place Angel checked once again on the state of her health.
"Are you sure you're alright? You look very pale."
This time there was no violent outburst.
Buffy just nodded her head sadly and after passing Angel her crutches, she slowly sank into the passenger's seat of the black Plymouth convertible. Immediately, the smell of polish and leather washed over her senses and she breathed it in deeply. It was familiar and comforting but more than that, the subtle blend of aromas was the first thing she'd recognised in what felt a lifetime. She knew without a doubt that she'd travelled in this convertible many times before.
Angel threw the luggage in the boot, slammed the lid and dropped in the seat beside her.
" Nice car" Buffy sighed softly, running her hand admiringly over the dashboard. Even the feel of it beneath her fingertips felt familiar.
At her comment, Angel couldn't resist the chuckle he gave back.
" You always thought so. And before you ask Buffy, the answer's no, I'm still not letting you drive it"
Buffy looked up and for the first time since arriving in Sunnydale she smiled
"I think that's a very wise idea, I don't seem to remember learning how to drive" She teased this time and her eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief.
As her warm smile tore into his heart, Angel joined in with the joke and did a little teasing of his own.
"The way you used to drive, I think that can be called that a plus"
Buffy tried to smile but failed miserably to make it look convincing.. There was nothing good about losing everything you had ever learned. There were no pluses as far as she could see.
Knowing he was fighting an uphill battle, Angel started the car and moved out of the car park.
" I know this is hard but it will get better. You just have to keep believing that" He offered reassuringly.
Buffy lifted her face at the concern she had heard in his voice and although she couldn't find it in her heart to believe him, she was more than grateful that he tried.
As Angel paid the parking fee and joined the line of traffic leaving the airport, she turned away and looked out of the side window, hoping to catch a glimmer of something, anything that would tell her she was really home.
After they had been driving for a few minutes, Angel glanced over to see his wife deeply engrossed in the passing scenery. Her delicate features looked strained as she tried to place the assortment of buildings flashing passed without any success. He could feel the growing disappointment radiating from her small body as yet another row of houses passed by with no recognition. No matter how helpless Angel felt, he knew this was something Buffy could only do by herself.
"I feel as if I'm looking out from behind a dream, one of those deja vu ones where you know you've seen it all before and yet.."
Buffy sighed again with frustration. This time they were passing the university she had once attended, before her mother's death had brought an end to her education. On Angel's mention that she had once attended classes there, Buffy sank deeper into her depression, she couldn't remember a single day she'd ever spent there.
"Maybe you're trying too hard" Angel offered again.
Buffy shook her head and watched the campus flash past the widow as he drove a little faster.
"It's in there, I can feel it. It feels as if I'm returning to a place I once visited as a child. It's vaguely familiar but nothing really jumps out at me. Sunnydale is a lot smaller than I imagined" Her small voice trembled and the sound of tears was plainly heard by both of them.
Without taking his eyes off the road, Angel reached over and softly squeezed her hand.
"It will all sort itself out in the end" He hated the thought of her crying. Buffy was so strong and this new weakness was something he hadn't expected.
At the touch of his warm fingers, Buffy shivered. She suddenly found herself holding her breath as he unconsciously caressed her hand.
After a few seconds, and after realising what he was doing, Angel stopped and placed his hand back on the steering wheel, much to Buffy's disappointment.
"I'll drive the long way round, that will give you a clearer picture of Sunnydale" Angel mumbled and cursed himself for touching her hand. Now all he could think about was how much he wanted to hold her, comfort her, wipe away her tears and it was all a waste of energy. At the end of the day all he wanted was answers and when he had them, the bitch could cry a river for all he cared.
**Keep saying it and you might believe it one of these days** Even his own thoughts knew he was lying.
One by one places of importance went by unobserved.
As they drove past Restfield cemetery, Angel resisted telling Buffy that her mother was buried there. He knew that little snippet of information would be too hard on the first day, some things really could wait.
"It feels as if I've not been here for years.. Liam, just how long was I away?" The question was innocent. Buffy had no idea how much the answer would shock her.
For a second, Angel was caught completely off guard.
He didn't answer at once. Speeding up to pass a couple of slower moving cars in the outside lane, he looked deep in thought as if trying to decide whether to reply or not.
"A little over three months" He finally gave in and answered.
Keeping his eyes firmly on the road ahead, Angel spoke quietly, as if it hurt just saying the words out aloud.
"Three months?" Buffy was stunned, she had expected to hear a few days, a week at most.
"What was I doing that kept me away for so long?"
Angel slowed the car as the traffic lights ahead turned red. His long fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.
"You said you needed some time on your own. You had a lot of stuff going on in your life with the gallery and such..." The well practiced lie slipped easily over his tongue.
Once again, he found himself lying rather than coming out and saying just what needed to be said. Angel bit back the sigh that rose in his throat. Buffy was going to find out sooner or later but until then...
With his reply Buffy remained silent. Trying desperately to add two and two together without coming up with six. There was something really wrong with this whole picture. People didn't just take off for three months at a time, not normal people with normal lives...
**Did they?**
After letting a dozen different scenarios play havoc with her imagination, she asked the question that was bothering her most.
" Liam?"
"Yes" he replied tightly not taking his eyes off the car in front.
"Did we fight..?"
"Sorry?"
At his cold glare Buffy tried a different approach.
"Did we argue?"
" That's a strange question" Angel didn't like the way this was heading, or what she seemed to be insinuating.
"You said I needed space, I was just wondering if we quarrelled.." Buffy looked up and her eyes reflected all the turmoil she felt.
Taking a deep breath Angel knew this question could only be answered with the truth.
"No, we never fought. In fact we never argued Buffy, not once"
It was true and that's what hurt him the most. They had always had the most perfect marriage... or so he had always believed
**What a fucking joke that turned out to be**
With the traffic light switching to green Angel pulled away. Trying to get his mind off Buffy's earlier question, he changed the subject by describing different places of interest in a hope they might set off a trigger in her memory. But, sadly, each location continued to draw a blank expression.
Passing the high school, Buffy gasped at the black, burnt out shell.
"What on earth happened there?" Her voice trembled; just the thought of fire now terrified her.
"Graduation day. 1999 I think. You told me there was a fire during the speeches, the principal and a few of the students were killed. They have only just started to rebuild"
At the confirmation of the fire Buffy felt a cold shiver cover her body and sat further into the seat. She remained silent then until Angel pointed out the next landmark.
"That's the Bronze" He glanced at her as the traffic slowed. " Recognise it?"
Looking out at the small club, Buffy's eyes lit up.
"I think so" At last a building really did look familiar. "I have a feeling I spent most of my teenage years behind those doors," She added getting more and more excited.
"You did" A small smile lifted the corners of Angel's mouth at his success. But even though he smiled, he knew the real test was fast approaching.
Turning the corner of Ravello Drive, Angel stopped the car outside number 1630 and waited.
"Oh God, I know this house....." Buffy's grinned with deep relief. She didn't know why she knew it but the picture was imprinted in her heart.
"I've seen this house before..."
"Of course you have Buffy, about a million times. It's your home"
Angel jumped out of the car. Walking to the other side, he opened the passenger's door and held out his hand.
He smiled, but for reasons of his own it failed to penetrate his dark brown eyes.
"Welcome home, Buffy."
The coolness that returned to his deep, rich voice sent a shiver of uncertainty screaming through her body.
**Home?**
As she took the first step, Buffy was overwhelmed with a terrible urge to turn and run...
**But where on earth could she go?**
