AUTHOR'S NOTES: No Vamps, no slayers and the only monsters in this story are human ;^)
Masquerade.
Part 7
"So, how long have we lived here?" Buffy asked looking at the tastefully furnished sitting room.
" You've lived here all your life, Buffy," Angel replied placing their luggage down on the floor.
It felt good to be home and yet, just seeing Buffy standing there after so many months brought back more memories that he could bear to remember. Buffy didn't know how lucky she was with her amnesia, the way he felt, Angel would have chanced places with her in a heartbeat.
"You were born here, I moved in with you and Dawn after we were married" He turned his attention back on the present and tried desperately to ignore the pain of the past.
**I carried you over that threshold. We made love on that carpet... You broke my heart in the kitchen** For Angel, turning off the past wasn't so easy.
Walking slowly around the room Buffy silently studied the furnishings, the curtains, the chairs, and the pictures on the wall.
"It's not as familiar inside as it was outside" Her quiet voice finally broke into the stillness of the room.
The disappointment was sickening. Buffy had been sure that, once she walked through the front door, something - anything - would help make things fall into place.
But, no matter how hard she tried; she couldn't remember ever living here, not even before marrying Liam.
Angel was just as disappointed at her failure. He wanted her to remember, he wanted this over.... He needed this to be over while he was still strong enough to walk away.
"Come on, let me show you around"
As Buffy hobbled from room to room, the uneasy feelings she had been experiencing started to fade. Although she didn't remember living there, she definitely liked the house. It had an aura of calm about it, a safety she associated with the word home. Casting her mind back to her recent stay in hospital, she remembered her ideal vision of what home should be.
**Home was where the heart was, home was warm and safe and it smelt of chocolate cookies and family..**
There wasn't much in the way of family here but, to Buffy's jumbled mind, she guessed this was close enough. The chocolate cookies might turn out to be a bit of a problem; Buffy still had no idea if she could even cook.
"I'll show you the bedroom" Angel reached out and took her arm. He immediately withdrew it when he felt her flinch. Determined not to let her see how much that small reaction had hurt him, he continued in a quiet voice
" I think you need to rest after that long flight, it will be a lot more comfortable in your own room" His eyes suppressed the anger he felt as they bored into hers, telling Buffy that his intentions were strictly honourable.
Buffy felt a rush of heat to her face, suddenly feeling both foolish and embarrassed at the same time.
The guy could hardly bear to touch her, let alone want to have sex with her the second they walked through the door.
**Sex with Liam**
Just the thought of being so intimate with him shook her. Buffy tried to tell herself that it shouldn't, he was, after all her husband, they had been married for over two years and they had obviously made love many times.
As her eyes flicked over his tall strong body, Buffy forced herself to look away. She was horrified with her thoughts. For a fraction of a micro second she actually fantasised about what making love to this gorgeous looking man would feel like.
**How his large hands would feel as they softly caressed her skin, how his lips would...**
**STOP IT!** It was insane to think like that. She tried to reason, but what really shocked her was the possibility that she would love every second of it...
**Was that a memory returning or simple wishful thinking?** Buffy quickly closed the thought down. She noticed that Angel was looking at her with a quizzical expression but nothing on earth would make her divulge that little thought.
"I am tired and my foot hurts a little" Buffy admitted, and on reflection, agreed that she would feel better after a rest.
Leading the way up the stairs, Angel picked up her small bag and showed her to the master bedroom.
"This is your room" he told her placing the bag on the floor next to the door.
"My room...?"
Seeing the questions start to rise again in her large hazel eyes Angel quickly continued, "Under the circumstances I thought I'd move into the guest room, for the time being at least. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home, Buffy"
**That makes sense**
Buffy accepted the answer and nodded in gratitude.
"Besides, I snore" Angel added as an afterthought.
Buffy's eyes widened.
This time he was teasing and they both knew it.
"I have a strange feeling you don't" Buffy found herself laughing at the change of mood.
Angel went to step back but changed his mind. Almost hesitantly he raised a hand and reached out. Gently, he stroked a stray lock of blonde hair that had escaped the pins Buffy had used that morning to style it.
"You changed your hair, looks nice" He whispered and leaned forward.
Buffy didn't move, she watched in awe as his fingers slipped slowly down her hair and then moved to her cheek. Gently running his thumb across what remained of her stitches, he sighed deeply.
"You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever met" Angel's voice was deep with sincerity.
Buffy looked up into his face and couldn't miss the faint blur of tears that shimmered in his eyes.
At the intensity shining there, she shivered.
Misreading her reaction Angel dropped his hand and looked down. When he looked back his feelings were carefully masked again. More determined than ever to resist the temptation he felt pulling his heart apart. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to dispel the tension that was knotting his stomach.
Remaining as neutral as possible, Angel replied with a clear conscience.
"There's nothing to be afraid of here, Buffy. You're perfectly safe. I would never hurt you."
Her reply was instantaneous.
"I know"
Considering she couldn't remember spending a single second of her life with him, the answer sounded strange, but in her heart Buffy knew it was the only reply she could give.
Liam was sometimes cold and uncaring but she felt deep inside that he hid a gentle soul.
Opening the bedroom door Angel stood back and waited for her to pass inside.
"If you need me for anything, just shout. My room's just down the hall" Unconsciously, his tone softened.
He then shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets and turned away.
"Thank you," Buffy whispered as she watched him leave. When he was completely out of sight, her small hand rose to her cheek and rested lightly over his touch. She could still feel the imprint of his warm fingers burn against her bruised skin.
Buffy tried to understand her feelings for this man. He frightened her and yet excited her at the same time. He really was a mystery and she couldn't read him at all.
She could feel the tension between them, it was almost tangible but only he knew the reasons why. Love or hate, one thing was for sure.... What ever the future held for them it certainly wouldn't be boring.
*****
Angel walked slowly down the stairs and headed straight for the small room he had converted into a study the year before. Closing the door behind him, he made his way across to the small desk in the corner and pulling out a large leather chair, he proceeded to sink exhaustedly into it's softness.
Yanking open the top drawer of his desk, he removed the small bottle of Scotch he found inside and ripped off the lid. Angel didn't even bother hunting for a glass. Talking a deep swig he felt the cool liquor burn as it swirled over his tongue and slipped easily down the back of his throat. It quickly coursed through his veins, reminding him that he really was still alive, even if at times he wasn't too certain.
**That's what women do to you. They suck the life out of you and leave you dry** He wasn't sure if it was bitterness or self-pity talking but whichever it was, he agreed whole heartily with the tiny voice in his head.
The whole trip had been a disaster.
Angel had convinced himself that the moment Buffy walked through the front door, the floodgates would open and the past would tumble around her like toy building blocks. But as he stared into her frightened, bewildered eyes, he knew she still didn't have a clue of what happened between them. Talking a second long swig from his bottle, Angel reached deeper into his desk drawer and drew out a small yellow envelope. Shaking it slightly, a single sheet of paper fell out and with it, a small golden ring. He didn't need to open the letter to know what it said. Every word had been carved on his heart.
**It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy**
Raking his fingers through his dark brown hair, Angel sighed in utter frustration. He picked up the small wedding ring and clasped it so tightly in his hand it almost drew blood.
"Forgive me for what, Dammit? All I ever did was love you, Buffy.."
Dropping his head down on to the desk, Angel held his wife's abandoned wedding ring firmly in his hand and sobbed.
TBC....
Masquerade.
Part 7
"So, how long have we lived here?" Buffy asked looking at the tastefully furnished sitting room.
" You've lived here all your life, Buffy," Angel replied placing their luggage down on the floor.
It felt good to be home and yet, just seeing Buffy standing there after so many months brought back more memories that he could bear to remember. Buffy didn't know how lucky she was with her amnesia, the way he felt, Angel would have chanced places with her in a heartbeat.
"You were born here, I moved in with you and Dawn after we were married" He turned his attention back on the present and tried desperately to ignore the pain of the past.
**I carried you over that threshold. We made love on that carpet... You broke my heart in the kitchen** For Angel, turning off the past wasn't so easy.
Walking slowly around the room Buffy silently studied the furnishings, the curtains, the chairs, and the pictures on the wall.
"It's not as familiar inside as it was outside" Her quiet voice finally broke into the stillness of the room.
The disappointment was sickening. Buffy had been sure that, once she walked through the front door, something - anything - would help make things fall into place.
But, no matter how hard she tried; she couldn't remember ever living here, not even before marrying Liam.
Angel was just as disappointed at her failure. He wanted her to remember, he wanted this over.... He needed this to be over while he was still strong enough to walk away.
"Come on, let me show you around"
As Buffy hobbled from room to room, the uneasy feelings she had been experiencing started to fade. Although she didn't remember living there, she definitely liked the house. It had an aura of calm about it, a safety she associated with the word home. Casting her mind back to her recent stay in hospital, she remembered her ideal vision of what home should be.
**Home was where the heart was, home was warm and safe and it smelt of chocolate cookies and family..**
There wasn't much in the way of family here but, to Buffy's jumbled mind, she guessed this was close enough. The chocolate cookies might turn out to be a bit of a problem; Buffy still had no idea if she could even cook.
"I'll show you the bedroom" Angel reached out and took her arm. He immediately withdrew it when he felt her flinch. Determined not to let her see how much that small reaction had hurt him, he continued in a quiet voice
" I think you need to rest after that long flight, it will be a lot more comfortable in your own room" His eyes suppressed the anger he felt as they bored into hers, telling Buffy that his intentions were strictly honourable.
Buffy felt a rush of heat to her face, suddenly feeling both foolish and embarrassed at the same time.
The guy could hardly bear to touch her, let alone want to have sex with her the second they walked through the door.
**Sex with Liam**
Just the thought of being so intimate with him shook her. Buffy tried to tell herself that it shouldn't, he was, after all her husband, they had been married for over two years and they had obviously made love many times.
As her eyes flicked over his tall strong body, Buffy forced herself to look away. She was horrified with her thoughts. For a fraction of a micro second she actually fantasised about what making love to this gorgeous looking man would feel like.
**How his large hands would feel as they softly caressed her skin, how his lips would...**
**STOP IT!** It was insane to think like that. She tried to reason, but what really shocked her was the possibility that she would love every second of it...
**Was that a memory returning or simple wishful thinking?** Buffy quickly closed the thought down. She noticed that Angel was looking at her with a quizzical expression but nothing on earth would make her divulge that little thought.
"I am tired and my foot hurts a little" Buffy admitted, and on reflection, agreed that she would feel better after a rest.
Leading the way up the stairs, Angel picked up her small bag and showed her to the master bedroom.
"This is your room" he told her placing the bag on the floor next to the door.
"My room...?"
Seeing the questions start to rise again in her large hazel eyes Angel quickly continued, "Under the circumstances I thought I'd move into the guest room, for the time being at least. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home, Buffy"
**That makes sense**
Buffy accepted the answer and nodded in gratitude.
"Besides, I snore" Angel added as an afterthought.
Buffy's eyes widened.
This time he was teasing and they both knew it.
"I have a strange feeling you don't" Buffy found herself laughing at the change of mood.
Angel went to step back but changed his mind. Almost hesitantly he raised a hand and reached out. Gently, he stroked a stray lock of blonde hair that had escaped the pins Buffy had used that morning to style it.
"You changed your hair, looks nice" He whispered and leaned forward.
Buffy didn't move, she watched in awe as his fingers slipped slowly down her hair and then moved to her cheek. Gently running his thumb across what remained of her stitches, he sighed deeply.
"You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever met" Angel's voice was deep with sincerity.
Buffy looked up into his face and couldn't miss the faint blur of tears that shimmered in his eyes.
At the intensity shining there, she shivered.
Misreading her reaction Angel dropped his hand and looked down. When he looked back his feelings were carefully masked again. More determined than ever to resist the temptation he felt pulling his heart apart. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to dispel the tension that was knotting his stomach.
Remaining as neutral as possible, Angel replied with a clear conscience.
"There's nothing to be afraid of here, Buffy. You're perfectly safe. I would never hurt you."
Her reply was instantaneous.
"I know"
Considering she couldn't remember spending a single second of her life with him, the answer sounded strange, but in her heart Buffy knew it was the only reply she could give.
Liam was sometimes cold and uncaring but she felt deep inside that he hid a gentle soul.
Opening the bedroom door Angel stood back and waited for her to pass inside.
"If you need me for anything, just shout. My room's just down the hall" Unconsciously, his tone softened.
He then shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets and turned away.
"Thank you," Buffy whispered as she watched him leave. When he was completely out of sight, her small hand rose to her cheek and rested lightly over his touch. She could still feel the imprint of his warm fingers burn against her bruised skin.
Buffy tried to understand her feelings for this man. He frightened her and yet excited her at the same time. He really was a mystery and she couldn't read him at all.
She could feel the tension between them, it was almost tangible but only he knew the reasons why. Love or hate, one thing was for sure.... What ever the future held for them it certainly wouldn't be boring.
*****
Angel walked slowly down the stairs and headed straight for the small room he had converted into a study the year before. Closing the door behind him, he made his way across to the small desk in the corner and pulling out a large leather chair, he proceeded to sink exhaustedly into it's softness.
Yanking open the top drawer of his desk, he removed the small bottle of Scotch he found inside and ripped off the lid. Angel didn't even bother hunting for a glass. Talking a deep swig he felt the cool liquor burn as it swirled over his tongue and slipped easily down the back of his throat. It quickly coursed through his veins, reminding him that he really was still alive, even if at times he wasn't too certain.
**That's what women do to you. They suck the life out of you and leave you dry** He wasn't sure if it was bitterness or self-pity talking but whichever it was, he agreed whole heartily with the tiny voice in his head.
The whole trip had been a disaster.
Angel had convinced himself that the moment Buffy walked through the front door, the floodgates would open and the past would tumble around her like toy building blocks. But as he stared into her frightened, bewildered eyes, he knew she still didn't have a clue of what happened between them. Talking a second long swig from his bottle, Angel reached deeper into his desk drawer and drew out a small yellow envelope. Shaking it slightly, a single sheet of paper fell out and with it, a small golden ring. He didn't need to open the letter to know what it said. Every word had been carved on his heart.
**It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy**
Raking his fingers through his dark brown hair, Angel sighed in utter frustration. He picked up the small wedding ring and clasped it so tightly in his hand it almost drew blood.
"Forgive me for what, Dammit? All I ever did was love you, Buffy.."
Dropping his head down on to the desk, Angel held his wife's abandoned wedding ring firmly in his hand and sobbed.
TBC....
