Masquerade
Part 10.
Angel watched as Buffy rewound the video and pressed the play button for the fifth time in succession. As they sat silently on the sofa, so close and yet so far, he didn't once interrupt, understanding her need to continually relive their wedding day. He could see from the tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes that the memories repeating on the screen gave her comfort, some small flicker of light to cling on to in her new dark world.
With every smile, giggle, laugh or sigh one of her friends or family made, Buffy seemed to grow more confident, drawing strength and determination from each memory that battled its way through the amnesia. Every now and again she would gasp out loud as a new piece of the jigsaw puzzle slotted into place.
From the excited expression on her face, Angel could see that his wife now believed there really was a chance that she would one day reclaim her life from the vortex it had fallen into.
**And when that day comes, I will finally be able to reclaim mine**
Although it had become his dearest wish over the last three months to discover the truth, Angel found the prospect now gave him little joy. He understood only too well that when Buffy did finally remember her past, their life together would change forever.
Meanwhile, as Buffy sat quietly mesmerised by the faces from her past, she had absolutely no idea what those same visions were doing to Angel. If she had, she would have seen that the memories coming from the video tore into him so fiercely that he almost cried out in pain.
It wasn't Buffy's fault. She wasn't to know that seeing her younger self, smiling at him with eyes so full of love, was ripping his heart to shreds. She was blissfully ignorant of the fact that every time their lips met on the screen, the quiet man sitting so patiently by her side, longed desperately to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless.
Looking away from the screen, as they became man and wife for the fifth time, Angel knew he had to get away. He had to get out of the house and put as much distance between him and the past as was possible.
"Will you be okay for a few hours? I have a few things I need to do" Angel asked quietly as the picture on the screen changed. Now the bride and groom were kissing again and he knew that if you listened very carefully you could hear the younger Buffy moan passionately as his mouth covered hers.
For his broken heart, it was just one memory too many.
Hearing Angel's soft words, Buffy tore her eyes away from the kiss and stared into his eyes. For a moment the fear she felt at being left on her own reflected in her hazel orbs but she quickly shut it out. She was home, there was nothing here to be frightened of she quickly reassured herself.
"Sure. I'll just watch this video again. " Buffy smiled knowing that her earlier thought had been foolish. Now that her memories had started to return she hoped it wouldn't be much longer before the house she was staying in stopped being just a strange house and became her home again.
**And maybe then I'll remember you ** The little voice in her head added almost wistfully.
"I really should check in at the office and let them know I'm back" Without looking at her Angel stood up and silently crossed the room. Slipping a black leather jacket over his broad shoulders he reached for his car keys and as the video started to rewind for the umpteenth time, he walked out of the room. Although she didn't move from her seat, Buffy stared at the empty doorway for a long time after he was gone. It surprised her how much his absence left her feeling empty. She still might not have clear memories of living with this man, but her feelings towards him were growing stronger by the second. With nothing better to do, Buffy pressed the remote control and started the video one more time.
*****
Angel was gone longer than he expected and it was dark when he finally walked through the front door. As he moved into the hallway, his arms were once again loaded with expensive looking shopping bags, which he dropped happily into the corner before removing his jacket. It was only after he closed and locked the door that the silence greeted him. Angel stood still and fought down the unexpected wave of panic that rose in his throat and burned the back of his mouth. This was how the house had felt for the last three months. Lonely, empty and bare.
**And when she leaves you again, It will feel like this forever** his heart whispered into the stillness that surrounded him.
**Unless you take this second chance**
Walking into the kitchen he pulled open the refrigerator door and stood in the shaft of cool light it reflected across the kitchen floor. Removing a carton of juice, Angel poured himself a glass and swallowed the cool liquid quickly.
**A second chance**
All night long he had considered the possibility. The wedding video had affected him more than he thought possible and although he'd walked for hours trying to get the anger back into his heart. He couldn't. Lying was no longer an option, he couldn't lie, not to Buffy and - more importantly - not to himself.
Whatever had driven her away from him that night, there had to be a way they could make it right.
**You don't just wake up one morning and stop loving somebody** Angel rationalised with his conscience. **Not the way they had loved each other**
As soon as Buffy remembered what had caused her to write that letter, he was determined they would work it out. They had to work it out because life without Buffy, as the last three months had shown, was unbearable.
Finishing the juice, Angel walked into the sitting room. He was just about to leave and head for his bed when he came to an abrupt halt. On the far side of the room, Buffy lay curled up on the sofa fast asleep.
Hesitating for a moment in the doorway he stopped and let out a deep sigh of regret.
She looked so utterly adorable that his heart constricted and he was swamped with a rush of emotions he could no longer control. Without conscious thought Angel stood totally still as he continued to watch her sleep.
Within seconds his hungry eyes raked over her small curled body, taking in how her cheek rested peacefully on the palm of her hand and the way her full lips parted slightly with each new breath she inhaled. Unable to stop himself, Angel moved closer. Dropping on to his knees, he knelt by her sleeping head and, raising his hand, he started to sweep a stray lock of hair away from her face.
After a few seconds, Buffy murmured softly and opened her sleepy hazel eyes.
"Liam?"
Angel almost moaned out loud. She had no idea how delectable she looked at that moment, all soft and warm with sleep. Not wanting to startle her, he kept all trace of the emotion he was feeling out of his voice.
"That's not the most comfortable place to spend the night" He teased lightly.
"I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" Buffy yawned and raised her hand to cover her mouth.
Angel smiled softly.
Struggling to sit up, Buffy ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face.
"It's late. I ran into Lindsey and we went for a drink" Angel replied quietly and reaching over to the small table on his right, he switched on the table lamp. At once a gentle glow filled the room, falling softly across Buffy's face.
"Lindsey?" Buffy thought hard for a moment but she failed to recognise the name. Shaking her head after a few seconds, she gave up in defeat.
Angel understood the look of confusion; he had seen it on her face continually over the last few days.
"Lindsey Macdonald and I used to work for Wolfram and Hart in LA. When I left, after the case with your father, Lindsey came with me and we set up a law practice together here in Sunnydale" As he repeated the story, Angel smiled softly and Buffy couldn't fail to notice the change in his features. The anger and bitterness that she'd often sensed in him since waking up in hospital seemed to have faded from his face. For the time being anyway.
"I remember you telling me about Wolfram and Hart, but I don't think you mentioned Lindsey.
What's he like?"
"He's a bit of a roughneck but he's a good man to have on your side in a fight"
Angel laughed, remembering his encounter with his best friend.
Lindsey had found him, earlier that evening, sitting in Willie's bar nursing a small untouched glass of whiskey and a large heavy heart. Dropping his briefcase on the floor next to the bar stool, the good looking young lawyer, exhausted from a long day in court, sat down quietly beside his friend at the bar.
"So, you decided to come back after all " The soft familiar drawl of Lindsey Macdonald's voice caused Angel to look up from his drink and realise that he was no longer sitting on his own.
"Yeah, I flew in last night" Angel quietly replied without giving any more details away than was necessary. Lindsey was his best friend as well as his partner in the law firm they shared, but after the week Angel had just had, he wasn't in the mood to share his feelings, not with anybody.
If Lindsey was offended he didn't show it.
As Angel turned his head, Lindsey immediately noticed the dark circles surrounding his friend's eyes and knew that the trip to New York had really taken it's toll. Months with hardly any sleep and continual worry had finally caught up and Liam's once, lively dark eyes now looked haunted as they stared back at him.
When Willie approached placing a second glass next to Angel's, Lindsey indicated for him to leave the bottle he was holding and give them some privacy.
"From the look on your face I'm taking it was bad news. Wrong girl?" He asked pouring a small measure of golden liquid into the empty glass in front of him. Angel continued to stare at his own untouched glass without making any attempt to lift it.
"No, it was Buffy alright. She was slightly hurt in the accident but considering most of the other passengers on the coach were killed, she was extremely lucky" Angel spoke quietly with a hint of sadness in his voice.
"I'm sensing a large *but* here" Lindsey knew his friend too well. After working together for over four years he understood when Liam Angelus was holding back.
"She has amnesia" Angel sighed wearily.
"No shit!.. That's convenient" Lindsey laughed but there was no humour in his voice. He had witnessed his friend's agony these last few months and knew how desperately Liam needed to find Buffy and discover what had driven her away. "So how much memory has she lost"
Angel looked back down at the bar, noticing how the liquid in his glass changed colour when the light hit it.
"About 90%, although earlier she showed signs of recovering some of it." Angel look a deep breath before he found the strength to continue.
" She just doesn't remember me" This time there was a touch of real bitterness about the words.
"Is she faking it?" Lindsey asked suspiciously.
With a sigh, Angel shook his head. "No, I wish she were but no. It's too real, her eyes wouldn't be able to lie that well.." His voice trailed off, as he visualised the look of panic and grief that had covered Buffy's face from the second she had opened her eyes in that hospital bed.
An awkward silence fell over the two men as they both took in the enormity of the problem.
In the end it was Lindsey that asked the question haunting both their minds
"Now you have her back, what are you going to do?"
Angel wrapped his long fingers around the small glass that had sat in front of him for the last two hours and, finally, raising it to his lips he swallowed the warm liquid down in one smooth gulp.
**What was he going to do** That really was the million dollar question, and suddenly he no longer had an answer to it.
Closing his eyes and shutting out the noise of the bar, Angel's thoughts drifted to Buffy. He found himself thinking of her hair, her smile, the way she laughed when she was happy and the way her small face creased up and trembled when she cried. He remembered with a heavy heart the way her soft mouth tasted when they kissed and how her perfect body melted into his when they made love.
It all felt like a lifetime ago.
As his friend struggled for an answer, Lindsey didn't press. He knew he had to let Liam find the solution to this problem on his own.
Toying with his empty glass, the young lawyer sat quietly on the barstool as Angel's tormented mind covered every possibility.
In the end he gave the only answer he knew.
" I honestly don't know" Angel crumbled and the pain he had been hiding from Buffy saturated his deep voice. In the company of his best friend he was finally able to show his real feelings.
"Cordy said I should kick her out once and for all. Even Darla thinks the relationship is over"
" Darla?" Lindsey didn't even bother to hide his dislike of the small blonde woman who was supposedly Buffy's friend but spent most of her time chasing after her husband. It was no secret that he'd never trusted her.
On the other hand, he had always liked Buffy Angelus; he liked her fighting spirit and envied the way she adored his best friend. Their marriage had looked so solid that it had shocked everyone who knew them when it all fell apart.
**Except maybe Darla**
"Are you sure Darla doesn't have an ulterior motive?" Lindsey asked carefully, not sure how close Liam and this woman had become, especially after the last few months. To an outsider, she seemed to be there every time he turned around.
Angel ran his hand over his chin as he listened to the question.
"Ulterior motive, like what?" He asked not quite understanding what the other man was asking.
Lindsey sighed, and when he looked up, his face was deadly serious.
"Like jumping your bones" He replied as plainly as he could.
Angel looked horrified.
"That's ridiculous! Darla is Buffy's best friend and she's been a great support these last few months.. But that's all. There has never been anything between us" Angel's eyes darkened over dangerously at the insinuation.
" I didn't say you wanted to jump hers" Lindsey responded defensively. The last thing he wanted was a fight but the look in Liam's eyes was frighteningly too serious at that moment.
For a tense few seconds neither spoke.
" Darla knows how much I love Buffy, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried"
Angel shook his head and backed down. He had enough problems in his life at the moment without punching out his best friend.
Reading the anger and desperation in Liam's face Lindsey knew it was time to change the subject. From the way he had reacted it was obvious that he didn't have any romantic feelings for Darla, but Lindsey still wasn't convinced that Darla was so innocent.
"So, what do you want to do?" He didn't so much change the subject as bring it full circle.
"I *need* closure" Angel replied slowly, but he couldn't stop the pain flashing across his face.
Lindsey didn't believe him for a second. His words said one thing but his body language told a completely different story. Realising that a helping hand was needed, he cautiously considered his next move.
"Fine, then leave her. Kick the bitch out of your life and forget her." Lindsey said casually as he refilled both their glasses. He purposely let the words sink in knowing that they were having the desired effect.
Angel raked his hand through his hair as he struggled to come to a decision. He had spent so long hating Buffy for leaving him that he hadn't really thought about what would happen if she ever came back.
"What would you do?" He quietly asked his friend for advice.
Knocking back his drink, the lawyer considered the question very carefully. As far as he was concerned, this whole situation stunk and it had done from the second Buffy had fled into the night leaving just a few short words and a wedding ring.
"Well..."
Taking a deep breath he spoke straight from the heart.
"If Buffy was my wife, and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason was for leaving. I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place and I'd make sure she never wanted to leave me again. "
Lindsey's eyes shone brightly as he finished his speech. It wasn't until the words had left his mouth, that he realise how much he believed in them.
**If Liam let this girl go again he was a damn fool**
Lifting the whisky bottle from the bar, he went to refill Angel's glass for a third time but Angel placed his hand over the top to stop him.
" Thank you, but I need to go home" Angel's tired eyes reflected his gratitude. Finally somebody had told him something he needed to hear.
Slowly standing from the barstool he reached down and picked up the shopping he'd earlier purchased and slowly made his way home.
**Lindsey and I used to work for a law firm in LA, when I left he came with me and we set up a practice together here in Sunnydale**
Turning his attention back to Buffy Angel smiled again.
"He sends you his love"
"Do I like him?"
"Yes " Angel couldn't help but smile again.
"We got talking about a case he's been working on and I guess I lost track of the time." It was only a small white lie "Oh, I almost forgot, I brought you a few things"
"Things?"
"A change of clothes. I also dropped in on Darla, as you were so worried about going shopping, she's agreed to take you. I thought you'd rather go with her than me"
Buffy frowned.
"Darla? The woman in the video?" She sounded a little vague, but after watching their wedding seven times now, she knew exactly who Darla Penn was.
Angel laughed at her troubled expression.
"You really don't remember her at all?"
Buffy shook her head.
"No" She didn't remember her but she had a feeling she wouldn't forget her again in a hurry.
"She's been a good friend" Angel offered and tried to forget Lindsey's ridiculous words of warning.
Buffy was still frowning.
"To you or to me?" She asked quietly, her face suddenly appeared very serious.
Angel opened his eyes in surprise. He could have sworn he heard jealousy in her voice and the thought sent a warm shiver through his lonely body.
Leaning forward, he gazed deeply into her eyes.
"We have both been really worried Buffy. But you're back now and that's all that matters"
Buffy didn't speak, her eyes locked on his, searching and finding a certain comfort in the warm chocolate pools.
An air of anticipation buzzed around them as their faces moved closer together, but before anything could happen; Buffy yawned again, the exhaustion of the last few months finally catching up with her tired body.
"Come on, let me help you upstairs" Angel offered gently, as he rose from the floor.
"Liam, I need to phone Dawn and I want to visit my mother's grave as soon as possible"
Angel nodded, he knew once she remembered that Buffy would need to do both those things.
" Dawn doesn't know about the accident, she's been so busy with college that I didn't tell her. She doesn't even know you were away." He told her quietly.
"I'll ring her in the morning" Buffy went to stand but when she transferred her weight on to her swollen ankle she winced in pain.
"Come on, let's get you upstairs, we can talk more in the morning, when we've both had a good night's sleep"
Buffy smiled in thanks and when she reached out her hand, he took it and pulled her to her feet.
Pulling her close, Buffy shivered as his large arm slipped around her waist and she leaned into him for support as they slowly made their way up the stairs.
On reaching Buffy's bedroom door, Angel reached for the handle and pushed it open.
For a moment an awkward silence fell over both of them as each waited for the other to move away.
Without conscious thought Angel reacted first, he lent forward and softly brushed his lips across her forehead.
"Sweet dreams" His hot breath burned against her skin and sent a shiver of pleasure right down her spine.
Buffy sighed as the scent of his masculinity flooded over her senses. Their earlier kiss had left her feeling frustrated and confused and the wedding video had only added to those feelings tenfold. Looking up, their eyes met and her turmoil shone like a lantern on a dark night.
As his blood thundered through his veins, Angel went to move back but before he had the chance, Buffy stepped forward this time. Raising her hand to the side of his face she reached up and gently drew his head down to her lips.
The kiss was soft and innocent and over in a heartbeat. Gently pulling away, Angel smiled and the expression in his deep brown eyes was so warm it melted her heart.
Although his heart was screaming to kiss her back, Angel didn't take advantage of the situation. He knew kissing Buffy now would be dangerous. For the moment he had to hold back. Buffy was still in pain and still confused and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the relationship before it had even restarted.
**If Buffy was my wife and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason for leaving was, I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she loved me in the first place.**
Angel smiled again, after his talk with Lindsey he now knew exactly what he was going to do and it was a relief after all the uncertainty and heartache.
"Something's different. What's changed? " Buffy asked as a sense of bewilderment spread through her whole body. She had only seen that look in his eyes once before, in their wedding video.
Reaching out his hand, Angel softly brushed her cheek. He then leaned closer so that his lips were almost brushing her ear.
"Goodnight Buffy" Before she could speak again, he was gone.
*****
TBC....
Part 10.
Angel watched as Buffy rewound the video and pressed the play button for the fifth time in succession. As they sat silently on the sofa, so close and yet so far, he didn't once interrupt, understanding her need to continually relive their wedding day. He could see from the tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes that the memories repeating on the screen gave her comfort, some small flicker of light to cling on to in her new dark world.
With every smile, giggle, laugh or sigh one of her friends or family made, Buffy seemed to grow more confident, drawing strength and determination from each memory that battled its way through the amnesia. Every now and again she would gasp out loud as a new piece of the jigsaw puzzle slotted into place.
From the excited expression on her face, Angel could see that his wife now believed there really was a chance that she would one day reclaim her life from the vortex it had fallen into.
**And when that day comes, I will finally be able to reclaim mine**
Although it had become his dearest wish over the last three months to discover the truth, Angel found the prospect now gave him little joy. He understood only too well that when Buffy did finally remember her past, their life together would change forever.
Meanwhile, as Buffy sat quietly mesmerised by the faces from her past, she had absolutely no idea what those same visions were doing to Angel. If she had, she would have seen that the memories coming from the video tore into him so fiercely that he almost cried out in pain.
It wasn't Buffy's fault. She wasn't to know that seeing her younger self, smiling at him with eyes so full of love, was ripping his heart to shreds. She was blissfully ignorant of the fact that every time their lips met on the screen, the quiet man sitting so patiently by her side, longed desperately to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless.
Looking away from the screen, as they became man and wife for the fifth time, Angel knew he had to get away. He had to get out of the house and put as much distance between him and the past as was possible.
"Will you be okay for a few hours? I have a few things I need to do" Angel asked quietly as the picture on the screen changed. Now the bride and groom were kissing again and he knew that if you listened very carefully you could hear the younger Buffy moan passionately as his mouth covered hers.
For his broken heart, it was just one memory too many.
Hearing Angel's soft words, Buffy tore her eyes away from the kiss and stared into his eyes. For a moment the fear she felt at being left on her own reflected in her hazel orbs but she quickly shut it out. She was home, there was nothing here to be frightened of she quickly reassured herself.
"Sure. I'll just watch this video again. " Buffy smiled knowing that her earlier thought had been foolish. Now that her memories had started to return she hoped it wouldn't be much longer before the house she was staying in stopped being just a strange house and became her home again.
**And maybe then I'll remember you ** The little voice in her head added almost wistfully.
"I really should check in at the office and let them know I'm back" Without looking at her Angel stood up and silently crossed the room. Slipping a black leather jacket over his broad shoulders he reached for his car keys and as the video started to rewind for the umpteenth time, he walked out of the room. Although she didn't move from her seat, Buffy stared at the empty doorway for a long time after he was gone. It surprised her how much his absence left her feeling empty. She still might not have clear memories of living with this man, but her feelings towards him were growing stronger by the second. With nothing better to do, Buffy pressed the remote control and started the video one more time.
*****
Angel was gone longer than he expected and it was dark when he finally walked through the front door. As he moved into the hallway, his arms were once again loaded with expensive looking shopping bags, which he dropped happily into the corner before removing his jacket. It was only after he closed and locked the door that the silence greeted him. Angel stood still and fought down the unexpected wave of panic that rose in his throat and burned the back of his mouth. This was how the house had felt for the last three months. Lonely, empty and bare.
**And when she leaves you again, It will feel like this forever** his heart whispered into the stillness that surrounded him.
**Unless you take this second chance**
Walking into the kitchen he pulled open the refrigerator door and stood in the shaft of cool light it reflected across the kitchen floor. Removing a carton of juice, Angel poured himself a glass and swallowed the cool liquid quickly.
**A second chance**
All night long he had considered the possibility. The wedding video had affected him more than he thought possible and although he'd walked for hours trying to get the anger back into his heart. He couldn't. Lying was no longer an option, he couldn't lie, not to Buffy and - more importantly - not to himself.
Whatever had driven her away from him that night, there had to be a way they could make it right.
**You don't just wake up one morning and stop loving somebody** Angel rationalised with his conscience. **Not the way they had loved each other**
As soon as Buffy remembered what had caused her to write that letter, he was determined they would work it out. They had to work it out because life without Buffy, as the last three months had shown, was unbearable.
Finishing the juice, Angel walked into the sitting room. He was just about to leave and head for his bed when he came to an abrupt halt. On the far side of the room, Buffy lay curled up on the sofa fast asleep.
Hesitating for a moment in the doorway he stopped and let out a deep sigh of regret.
She looked so utterly adorable that his heart constricted and he was swamped with a rush of emotions he could no longer control. Without conscious thought Angel stood totally still as he continued to watch her sleep.
Within seconds his hungry eyes raked over her small curled body, taking in how her cheek rested peacefully on the palm of her hand and the way her full lips parted slightly with each new breath she inhaled. Unable to stop himself, Angel moved closer. Dropping on to his knees, he knelt by her sleeping head and, raising his hand, he started to sweep a stray lock of hair away from her face.
After a few seconds, Buffy murmured softly and opened her sleepy hazel eyes.
"Liam?"
Angel almost moaned out loud. She had no idea how delectable she looked at that moment, all soft and warm with sleep. Not wanting to startle her, he kept all trace of the emotion he was feeling out of his voice.
"That's not the most comfortable place to spend the night" He teased lightly.
"I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" Buffy yawned and raised her hand to cover her mouth.
Angel smiled softly.
Struggling to sit up, Buffy ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face.
"It's late. I ran into Lindsey and we went for a drink" Angel replied quietly and reaching over to the small table on his right, he switched on the table lamp. At once a gentle glow filled the room, falling softly across Buffy's face.
"Lindsey?" Buffy thought hard for a moment but she failed to recognise the name. Shaking her head after a few seconds, she gave up in defeat.
Angel understood the look of confusion; he had seen it on her face continually over the last few days.
"Lindsey Macdonald and I used to work for Wolfram and Hart in LA. When I left, after the case with your father, Lindsey came with me and we set up a law practice together here in Sunnydale" As he repeated the story, Angel smiled softly and Buffy couldn't fail to notice the change in his features. The anger and bitterness that she'd often sensed in him since waking up in hospital seemed to have faded from his face. For the time being anyway.
"I remember you telling me about Wolfram and Hart, but I don't think you mentioned Lindsey.
What's he like?"
"He's a bit of a roughneck but he's a good man to have on your side in a fight"
Angel laughed, remembering his encounter with his best friend.
Lindsey had found him, earlier that evening, sitting in Willie's bar nursing a small untouched glass of whiskey and a large heavy heart. Dropping his briefcase on the floor next to the bar stool, the good looking young lawyer, exhausted from a long day in court, sat down quietly beside his friend at the bar.
"So, you decided to come back after all " The soft familiar drawl of Lindsey Macdonald's voice caused Angel to look up from his drink and realise that he was no longer sitting on his own.
"Yeah, I flew in last night" Angel quietly replied without giving any more details away than was necessary. Lindsey was his best friend as well as his partner in the law firm they shared, but after the week Angel had just had, he wasn't in the mood to share his feelings, not with anybody.
If Lindsey was offended he didn't show it.
As Angel turned his head, Lindsey immediately noticed the dark circles surrounding his friend's eyes and knew that the trip to New York had really taken it's toll. Months with hardly any sleep and continual worry had finally caught up and Liam's once, lively dark eyes now looked haunted as they stared back at him.
When Willie approached placing a second glass next to Angel's, Lindsey indicated for him to leave the bottle he was holding and give them some privacy.
"From the look on your face I'm taking it was bad news. Wrong girl?" He asked pouring a small measure of golden liquid into the empty glass in front of him. Angel continued to stare at his own untouched glass without making any attempt to lift it.
"No, it was Buffy alright. She was slightly hurt in the accident but considering most of the other passengers on the coach were killed, she was extremely lucky" Angel spoke quietly with a hint of sadness in his voice.
"I'm sensing a large *but* here" Lindsey knew his friend too well. After working together for over four years he understood when Liam Angelus was holding back.
"She has amnesia" Angel sighed wearily.
"No shit!.. That's convenient" Lindsey laughed but there was no humour in his voice. He had witnessed his friend's agony these last few months and knew how desperately Liam needed to find Buffy and discover what had driven her away. "So how much memory has she lost"
Angel looked back down at the bar, noticing how the liquid in his glass changed colour when the light hit it.
"About 90%, although earlier she showed signs of recovering some of it." Angel look a deep breath before he found the strength to continue.
" She just doesn't remember me" This time there was a touch of real bitterness about the words.
"Is she faking it?" Lindsey asked suspiciously.
With a sigh, Angel shook his head. "No, I wish she were but no. It's too real, her eyes wouldn't be able to lie that well.." His voice trailed off, as he visualised the look of panic and grief that had covered Buffy's face from the second she had opened her eyes in that hospital bed.
An awkward silence fell over the two men as they both took in the enormity of the problem.
In the end it was Lindsey that asked the question haunting both their minds
"Now you have her back, what are you going to do?"
Angel wrapped his long fingers around the small glass that had sat in front of him for the last two hours and, finally, raising it to his lips he swallowed the warm liquid down in one smooth gulp.
**What was he going to do** That really was the million dollar question, and suddenly he no longer had an answer to it.
Closing his eyes and shutting out the noise of the bar, Angel's thoughts drifted to Buffy. He found himself thinking of her hair, her smile, the way she laughed when she was happy and the way her small face creased up and trembled when she cried. He remembered with a heavy heart the way her soft mouth tasted when they kissed and how her perfect body melted into his when they made love.
It all felt like a lifetime ago.
As his friend struggled for an answer, Lindsey didn't press. He knew he had to let Liam find the solution to this problem on his own.
Toying with his empty glass, the young lawyer sat quietly on the barstool as Angel's tormented mind covered every possibility.
In the end he gave the only answer he knew.
" I honestly don't know" Angel crumbled and the pain he had been hiding from Buffy saturated his deep voice. In the company of his best friend he was finally able to show his real feelings.
"Cordy said I should kick her out once and for all. Even Darla thinks the relationship is over"
" Darla?" Lindsey didn't even bother to hide his dislike of the small blonde woman who was supposedly Buffy's friend but spent most of her time chasing after her husband. It was no secret that he'd never trusted her.
On the other hand, he had always liked Buffy Angelus; he liked her fighting spirit and envied the way she adored his best friend. Their marriage had looked so solid that it had shocked everyone who knew them when it all fell apart.
**Except maybe Darla**
"Are you sure Darla doesn't have an ulterior motive?" Lindsey asked carefully, not sure how close Liam and this woman had become, especially after the last few months. To an outsider, she seemed to be there every time he turned around.
Angel ran his hand over his chin as he listened to the question.
"Ulterior motive, like what?" He asked not quite understanding what the other man was asking.
Lindsey sighed, and when he looked up, his face was deadly serious.
"Like jumping your bones" He replied as plainly as he could.
Angel looked horrified.
"That's ridiculous! Darla is Buffy's best friend and she's been a great support these last few months.. But that's all. There has never been anything between us" Angel's eyes darkened over dangerously at the insinuation.
" I didn't say you wanted to jump hers" Lindsey responded defensively. The last thing he wanted was a fight but the look in Liam's eyes was frighteningly too serious at that moment.
For a tense few seconds neither spoke.
" Darla knows how much I love Buffy, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried"
Angel shook his head and backed down. He had enough problems in his life at the moment without punching out his best friend.
Reading the anger and desperation in Liam's face Lindsey knew it was time to change the subject. From the way he had reacted it was obvious that he didn't have any romantic feelings for Darla, but Lindsey still wasn't convinced that Darla was so innocent.
"So, what do you want to do?" He didn't so much change the subject as bring it full circle.
"I *need* closure" Angel replied slowly, but he couldn't stop the pain flashing across his face.
Lindsey didn't believe him for a second. His words said one thing but his body language told a completely different story. Realising that a helping hand was needed, he cautiously considered his next move.
"Fine, then leave her. Kick the bitch out of your life and forget her." Lindsey said casually as he refilled both their glasses. He purposely let the words sink in knowing that they were having the desired effect.
Angel raked his hand through his hair as he struggled to come to a decision. He had spent so long hating Buffy for leaving him that he hadn't really thought about what would happen if she ever came back.
"What would you do?" He quietly asked his friend for advice.
Knocking back his drink, the lawyer considered the question very carefully. As far as he was concerned, this whole situation stunk and it had done from the second Buffy had fled into the night leaving just a few short words and a wedding ring.
"Well..."
Taking a deep breath he spoke straight from the heart.
"If Buffy was my wife, and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason was for leaving. I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place and I'd make sure she never wanted to leave me again. "
Lindsey's eyes shone brightly as he finished his speech. It wasn't until the words had left his mouth, that he realise how much he believed in them.
**If Liam let this girl go again he was a damn fool**
Lifting the whisky bottle from the bar, he went to refill Angel's glass for a third time but Angel placed his hand over the top to stop him.
" Thank you, but I need to go home" Angel's tired eyes reflected his gratitude. Finally somebody had told him something he needed to hear.
Slowly standing from the barstool he reached down and picked up the shopping he'd earlier purchased and slowly made his way home.
**Lindsey and I used to work for a law firm in LA, when I left he came with me and we set up a practice together here in Sunnydale**
Turning his attention back to Buffy Angel smiled again.
"He sends you his love"
"Do I like him?"
"Yes " Angel couldn't help but smile again.
"We got talking about a case he's been working on and I guess I lost track of the time." It was only a small white lie "Oh, I almost forgot, I brought you a few things"
"Things?"
"A change of clothes. I also dropped in on Darla, as you were so worried about going shopping, she's agreed to take you. I thought you'd rather go with her than me"
Buffy frowned.
"Darla? The woman in the video?" She sounded a little vague, but after watching their wedding seven times now, she knew exactly who Darla Penn was.
Angel laughed at her troubled expression.
"You really don't remember her at all?"
Buffy shook her head.
"No" She didn't remember her but she had a feeling she wouldn't forget her again in a hurry.
"She's been a good friend" Angel offered and tried to forget Lindsey's ridiculous words of warning.
Buffy was still frowning.
"To you or to me?" She asked quietly, her face suddenly appeared very serious.
Angel opened his eyes in surprise. He could have sworn he heard jealousy in her voice and the thought sent a warm shiver through his lonely body.
Leaning forward, he gazed deeply into her eyes.
"We have both been really worried Buffy. But you're back now and that's all that matters"
Buffy didn't speak, her eyes locked on his, searching and finding a certain comfort in the warm chocolate pools.
An air of anticipation buzzed around them as their faces moved closer together, but before anything could happen; Buffy yawned again, the exhaustion of the last few months finally catching up with her tired body.
"Come on, let me help you upstairs" Angel offered gently, as he rose from the floor.
"Liam, I need to phone Dawn and I want to visit my mother's grave as soon as possible"
Angel nodded, he knew once she remembered that Buffy would need to do both those things.
" Dawn doesn't know about the accident, she's been so busy with college that I didn't tell her. She doesn't even know you were away." He told her quietly.
"I'll ring her in the morning" Buffy went to stand but when she transferred her weight on to her swollen ankle she winced in pain.
"Come on, let's get you upstairs, we can talk more in the morning, when we've both had a good night's sleep"
Buffy smiled in thanks and when she reached out her hand, he took it and pulled her to her feet.
Pulling her close, Buffy shivered as his large arm slipped around her waist and she leaned into him for support as they slowly made their way up the stairs.
On reaching Buffy's bedroom door, Angel reached for the handle and pushed it open.
For a moment an awkward silence fell over both of them as each waited for the other to move away.
Without conscious thought Angel reacted first, he lent forward and softly brushed his lips across her forehead.
"Sweet dreams" His hot breath burned against her skin and sent a shiver of pleasure right down her spine.
Buffy sighed as the scent of his masculinity flooded over her senses. Their earlier kiss had left her feeling frustrated and confused and the wedding video had only added to those feelings tenfold. Looking up, their eyes met and her turmoil shone like a lantern on a dark night.
As his blood thundered through his veins, Angel went to move back but before he had the chance, Buffy stepped forward this time. Raising her hand to the side of his face she reached up and gently drew his head down to her lips.
The kiss was soft and innocent and over in a heartbeat. Gently pulling away, Angel smiled and the expression in his deep brown eyes was so warm it melted her heart.
Although his heart was screaming to kiss her back, Angel didn't take advantage of the situation. He knew kissing Buffy now would be dangerous. For the moment he had to hold back. Buffy was still in pain and still confused and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the relationship before it had even restarted.
**If Buffy was my wife and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason for leaving was, I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she loved me in the first place.**
Angel smiled again, after his talk with Lindsey he now knew exactly what he was going to do and it was a relief after all the uncertainty and heartache.
"Something's different. What's changed? " Buffy asked as a sense of bewilderment spread through her whole body. She had only seen that look in his eyes once before, in their wedding video.
Reaching out his hand, Angel softly brushed her cheek. He then leaned closer so that his lips were almost brushing her ear.
"Goodnight Buffy" Before she could speak again, he was gone.
*****
TBC....
