Chapter 7--The Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death!

Disclaimer--Whooohoooo! The Wheel of Time is property of Robert Jordan, alas, not mine. ~sob~

The end is drawing near people. I want to finish another one of my fics before I do another Wheel of Time, but we have not (regrettably) seen the last of Pop Weasel's insanity.

And I know it's been FOREVER since I updated, blame it on the epic fantasy novel I'm working on. And can you believe that one of my friends doesn't like the Wheel of Time? Said she couldn't get through the first chapter. Just plain crazy if you ask me.

Riiiiiight.



--Where Demandred is---

At long last! The Dragon Reborn was in his fiendish clutches! All his just rewards would be paid in full! All of those fools who dare raise the Dragon banner would tremble at his name! No one would dare stop him now, nothing could possible extiquish this little bubble of triumph.......except for the fact that the White Tower Warders were beating the Bore Bulldogs at the score of 19-16 last quarter.

He'd just have to deal with the WTW when he was finished with the Dragon Reborn.

Demandred sauntered over to the afore mentioned reincarnated savior/destroyer with a gleeful grin.

Then.....

RING RING RING RING!

Thrice curse that wretched abomination!

RING RING RING RING!

"Answer it!" the Forsaken bellowed to Zipper. The Gray Man darted to the phone.

Demandred turned back to a bound and gagged Rand, who was sitting on a odd, chair-like stone that fairly oozed of evilness.

"Well well well. The mighty Dragon Reborn...."

Zipper tapped him on the shoulder. "It's for you."

Demandred snatched up the phone. "What? Oh.......sorry Moridin...........yes he's here........well, he's a little tied up at the moment.......right....that's wonderful!...........I'm so glad your team is winning........who did I bet on......well the Bulldogs of course........yes.........I will convey that message.....goodbye."

He handed it back o Zipper. "Unplug it. If that gibbering twit want to gloat, he can call Cyndane."

"Yes Sir!"

He looked at Rand, who was craning his neck to look all around him. "Where were we?"

"Zaa ighte Agon Eborn." Rand said around the gag.

"Right, thanks. Oh yes, Moridin says he wants to thank you for signing him up on that wireless plan, it's saving him a bundle."

Rand shrugged.

"Anyway.......right to the point before your friends burst through and ruin my plans yet again.....do you know what you are sitting on?

Rand shook his head. "Ahh hair?"

"No you fool!" Demandred laughed. "It is the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death!"

Nannygoat and Zipper wowed respectfully.

"Ya wanna pickle?" (Translation--cool.)

"Exactly!" Demandred exclaimed. "In less than ten minutes, I will channel into the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death and turn you into a pile of smoldering, jelly-like ashes that quiver at the sound of my voice........then I shall put you in a jar and sent you to Moridin as a celebratory present for his luck at gambling so that perhaps he will hork up his guts and wither and die in his Lazy Boy during the Super Bowl..........or something to that affect."

"Ut I en ten inutes?" Rand asked in confusion.

"Because I want to finish the game, the breakers can't handle the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death's power output and it would blow up the big screen."

"eh."

"Would you like something to drink? I have Coke......" (Ahhh! VILE COKE- SLURPERS!!!!)

"O Anks."

Demandred settled down on his armchair. "See you in ten minutes. hehehehe."



-----Sun Palace---

"Alright men." Nynaeve snapped, slapping the table in the throne room aka the command center with a burst of Air. "We have seen the enemy, and he is strong."

Mat raised his hand. "Isn't this where you say, "But we are stronger."

"No."

"Just checking."

Sulin pointed a spear at the diagram that Nynaeve had drawn up. "We will invade the Forsaken's strong hold, after cutting off his power and cable lines to distract him and possible divide his forces, enabling our strike team to infiltrate and and rescue Rand. Questions?"

Fastwind whimpered and covered her eyes with her paws and two Maidens and six Aes Sedai carefully brought in a very large iron wrapped box big enough to fit several people from which loud shrieks and snarls emitted from.

Nynaeve pointed to the box after Sulin sat down. "We open this box only if we are sure to lose, for it contains our last resort, inside is enough destructive powers to doom us all. Clear?"

"Yes ma'am." came the chorus.

The former Wisdom proceded to open a gateway that would take them to the monsters lair.

----Where Demandred is----

~The game has tied, and it is in the final minutes of overtime, when the power snaps off~

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Demandred howled.

The three Gray Men scampered back as the Forsaken stalked over to Rand and the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death. "YOU!! YOU DID THIS!!!"









Oh dear! Will Rand die! Will the strike force get there in time? Did the Warders beat the Bulldogs?! Stay tuned!