Part 16


To her surprise, the house was dark and empty when Buffy returned from her depressing encounter with Darla. Walking up to the front door with her arms filled with parcels, the peaceful stillness that greeted the exhausted girl caused a shudder of disappointment to slide the full length of her tired body.

After spending almost every second of the last two weeks in Liam's company, his unexpected absence felt strangely unsettling.

**Admit it, Summers. When he's not around you really miss him.**

The explanation made a lot of sense, but it didn't quite hit the mark. After the events of the last twenty-four hours, Buffy knew the feelings she had for Liam went a lot deeper than just missing him. She might not remember falling in love with the man the first time around, but this time; it was an entirely different story.

**When Liam's around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. I don't remember him yet but I already know I still love him**

A warm smile started to spread across her face but before she had the chance to enjoy it, a new voice entered Buffy's head and the smile that had started so readily died on her lips.

**It's Will, Buffy. William Pennington...**

** When he breaks your heart again...I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you**

Reaching in her purse, Buffy sighed as she struggled to find her keys.

After spending days looking for answers she realised, for the first time since the accident, that maybe something's in life really were better left forgotten. If not handled carefully, the new knowledge she now possessed could possibly destroy any chance she might have of ever being happy with Liam again.

**You left him once and now you're right back where you started**

As she closed the door behind her with a deep sigh of regret, Buffy still couldn't remember being the person who had lived in this house just four months earlier.

** Buffy Angelus.**

**A liar? **

**A cheat?**

With a shudder Buffy shook the unpleasant words from her head. From the feelings she was receiving from her heart, both thoughts seemed impossible to accept.

**Was she really the sort of woman who could run out on a husband who had obviously loved her and yet leave no explanation for her actions? **

**The sort of woman who took a lover after less than two years of marriage?**

The reply to her questions brought a small amount of comfort.

**You might have run out on a husband but you didn't run away with a lover**

Ever since William had dropped his little bombshell, no matter how hard she tried, one thought wouldn't leave her alone.

**If William loved her as much as he said he did, why hadn't he been with her in New York? Why was she travelling on that bus all on her own, three months after leaving Sunnydale?**

**Maybe because it's all Bullshit**

Deep in her heart Buffy knew that there was something very wrong with the picture in front of her, but, try as she might, she couldn't put her finger on what part of the equation was troubling her the most.

**William's a liar? **

She shook her head. It couldn't be William because Darla had backed up his story.

**Darla's a liar as well? **

Again Buffy shook the thought from her mind.

**Why would they both lie to her? What could they possibly gain that would make their deception worth all their trouble? **

In her right mind, the shattered young woman might have had some chance of seeing through the masquerade that was being cleverly played out in front of her. But with her past temporarily wiped out and her future uncertain, Buffy had no idea which direction the deceit was coming from.

Liam obviously trusted Darla and Darla, in turn, trusted her brother.

For the time being Buffy knew she had no choice but to trust all three of them... .. However, no matter what anyone told her, she still smelt a rat.

***

Walking through the empty rooms of her childhood home, Buffy felt the loneliness close in all around her. It was strange how the house only felt like a home when Liam was around.

Without his presence, the empty rooms just felt like any other bricks and mortar.

**If Liam finds out about William he'll be the one leaving this time**

Buffy stood at the kitchen sink and filled the kettle. She didn't really want a drink but she needed to do something, anything to take her mind off the events of the day. Those thoughts refused to stay silent.

**Maybe she could tell Liam the truth?**

**And lose him**

**Or she could hope that William left her in peace.**

**But then there was always the chance that if Liam found out later she would still lose him**

"Let's face it. I'm dammed if I tell him and I'm dammed if I don't"

With a heavy heart Buffy climbed the stairs to her bedroom.

*****

After the day she had just gone through, Buffy was so exhausted all she wanted to do was stand under a blistering hot shower for a few hours and then crawl into bed.

Walking into her bedroom, she dropped all of her shopping bags on the left side of her bed and, with a sigh of relief, kicked off her shoes and sat down. The softness, which Buffy sank into, felt so comfortable and welcoming that every weary bone in her body pleaded for her to just swing her legs over the side of the bed and disappear into the warmth of the covers.

As the long day and all its complications finally caught up with her, Buffy felt as if she could easily sleep for a week.

**But you need to talk to Liam and you need to do it tonight**

With a deep sigh of regret Buffy reluctantly struggled back up on her feet, she knew a scented bubble bath was out of the question, far too relaxing, but a shower would be all right. A long hot shower was possibly the only thing likely to chase away the slumber that had serious designs on her body.

Dropping the clothes she had worn that day in a tidy pile on her bed, Buffy walked naked to the bathroom and setting the water for blisteringly hot she stepped in to the shower and closed the door behind her.

Within seconds she was standing under a hot spray of steamy water, her taut muscles slowly starting to relax as the stinging needles hit every inch of her aching body. When a tidal wave of exhaustion crept up and rolled over her, Buffy leant forward and rested her two small hands flat against the shower wall for support.

As the steam started to fill the shower, Buffy closed her eyes and in trying to clear her head of all thoughts, she let the full force of the spray pound against her flesh washing away all the pain of the last twelve hours. The liquid therapy cascaded down over her bowed head and worked its magic on her shoulders, spine and buttocks before pooling at her feet and finally draining away.

For a few blissful seconds, Buffy felt as if she was flying high above the clouds without a care in the world. But bliss never lasts for long. When the water temperature changed, and cooled, reality returned and sent her crashing back to earth with a shiver.

Mourning the warmth leaving her skin, Buffy quickly shampooed her hair in the last of the tepid waters and stepped out of the shower before being blasted with an icy spray.

Feeling relaxed for the first time that day, she dried herself with a large, fluffy towel and returned to her bedroom feeling a lot brighter.

Dressed in just her bra and panties Buffy sat in front of her bedroom mirror and combed the tangles from her blonde hair. Whether it was the effects of the relaxing shower she wasn't sure, but the woman staring back at her looked a lot better than she had a few days earlier. She still looked very tired and far too thin for her liking but Buffy noticed, thankfully, that only a ghostly outline of her bruising remained and the thin pink line where her face had been stitched back together was quickly fading from sight.

A light touch of makeup was all it took to hide the last remaining evidence that she had ever been in an accident at all.

"Now, if only I could remove the scars on my mind that easily" Buffy sighed wishfully as she brushed just a hint of colour to her cheeks.

The sudden sound of movement downstairs caused her to turn her head and, when her name was called, Buffy jumped to her feet with a wide grin across her face.

**Liam**

In her excitement, Buffy was almost out of the bedroom door before she realised to her horror that she was still in her underwear.

*****

Angel was pouring himself a drink when his wife entered the room. He wouldn't have admitted it, but he had just spent the whole afternoon missing her, wondering how her shopping trip with Darla had gone.

Seeing his friend could hardly concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time, Lindsey had offered to stand in for him at their afternoon meeting, but when Darla left a message saying they were still catching up, Angel had disappointedly carried on with his work.

Arriving home, he had been more than a little surprised to discover Buffy was already home.
On hearing the water running in the shower above, it took all of Angel's restraint not to pull open the bathroom door and join her. He and Buffy had made love in that shower more times than he could count and the thought that they would never do it again brought a sharp sting of regret to his heart.

So lost in his memories of wet bodies and loud moaning, Angel almost missed when the object of his daydream started to speak.

"So. What do you think?" Buffy asked shyly and moved her hands over the soft material of her new dress.

Putting down his now empty glass, Angel looked over and smiled.

"Breath-taking" He replied, fighting to keep his tone level but it was a waste of effort. The sight before him made it impossible to speak calmly.

At the compliment Buffy smiled.

"Thank you. I wasn't sure about the colour at first" She replied quietly, as she continued to erase a non-existent crease from the dress.

Angel watched her for a moment, noting the tension that seemed to radiate from her body.

"I wasn't talking about the dress" He lifted his dark hungry eyes and the heated gaze that devoured her body caused Buffy to blush almost to the roots of her hair.

"R. Really? " She stuttered nervously and felt a rush of blood surge to her head.

"Yes. Really" Angel chuckled softly and without taking his eyes from her face he moved a silent step forward.

Buffy sighed, wanting desperately to believe in his words, but knowing they couldn't be true. Admittedly she looked better than she had a few days earlier, but she was a shell of the woman she used to be.

"You're sweet. A terrible liar, but sweet" Her voice started with a small smile but Darla's cruel words were never more than a breath away.

**Look! I really didn't want to have to say this but you look dreadful, honey. I can see the bones in your throat sticking right through your skin. **

At the painful memory, Buffy's confidence started to tumble.

" I know I'm only a shadow of the girl you married, I've seen the wedding video, remember" The smile that kissed the corners of her mouth was already fading.

At the pain he heard in her voice, Angel shook his head.

"You're wrong, Buffy. You're exactly the girl I married" He replied truthfully.

" But I look..."

**You look dreadful**

Darla's voice continued its torment.

Buffy swallowed the lump of self-pity that had risen in her throat and her fingers ran lightly across her collarbone. But, before she had a chance to blink Angel was in front of her, covering her small hand with his and lowering it away from her throat.

"That's not important... Not to me, Buffy... Look "

Without another word he picked up her trembling hand and brought it to rest lightly over his chest.

Buffy hesitated for a moment, unsure of his meaning, but just as she was about to ask him to explain, she felt the rapid beat of Liam's heart pounding beneath her fingertips.
Raising her head, their eyes met in understanding.

"You do that to me every time you walk into a room." He licked his lips nervously, before continuing.

" You have from the very first moment you marched into my office at Wolfram and Hart and threatened to kick my ass if I even tried to take Dawn away from you." Angel smiled softly into her eyes as he related the memory of their first meeting.

She had been so angry that day, full of fire and spirit and when Angel had finally caught his breath after her attack, he knew in a heartbeat that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.

"You constantly take my breath away, Buffy" He admitted truthfully and knew he was leaving himself wide open.

Buffy looked doubtful for a moment, as if the words were so unbelievable they couldn't possibly be real. Women like Darla took men's breath away, not skinny little things like her. But from the look on his face, her husband was strongly disagreeing with her.

"You're the only woman who has ever done that to me" Angel's hands slipped over her shoulders, his heart aching as he saw the need for reassurance in her troubled eyes.

"I really do that?" Buffy asked in amazement. She took a deep breath, which made her breasts swell up against the soft material of her new dress.

Angel nodded his head and almost groaned out loud.

Deciding that actions would be better than words, he slowly drew her closer until their bodies were locked together, her small breasts pushing against the hard wall of his chest, and her hips pressing against him so tightly that there was no mistaking how much he wanted her.

Buffy gasped, but made no attempt to move, as her breath caught deep in her throat. It seemed to her that the breathlessness now worked both ways.

As he watched her come to terms with the revelation, Angel knew at that moment that they were both incredibly vulnerable, but he didn't care. He wanted her so much; he ached in places he had almost forgotten existed these last four months.

When he looked up, the unexpected passion in Buffy's shining hazel eyes sent a shiver right down his spine.

Their bodies were pressing so closely together that Angel could feel the heat radiating from her skin.

"I missed you so much" His voice was husky and raw, ringing with a conviction that tore at her soul.

Tilting his head slightly, Angel's dark gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes and he waited for her response. He didn't need to wait long.

Touching the side of his face tenderly, she smiled and looked into his chocolate eyes, now dark with passion. When Buffy finally spoke, the word came not from her lost memory, but straight from her heart

"Angel"

The name was less than a sigh, it was almost a silent caress that brushed softly over his skin and soaked deep into his lonely soul.

Angel wasn't sure who moved first, but suddenly their lips were touching, melting together so urgently that the spark they created almost set his blood on fire. With a gasp, Buffy reached up and slipped her arms tightly around his neck.

**How on earth could I have forgotten this** Every particle of her being cried out as her body ached for his touch.

Closing his own eyes and deepening their kiss, Angel moaned as his tongue slipped into her warm mouth and a million memories of kissing Buffy swam painfully around his head.

**Kissing her, holding her, making love to her...**

Every memory they had ever shared. Only they didn't share them any more. The memories were now only his.

**She's kissing you but she still doesn't really know you**

"I can't do this" Panting for breath, Angel reluctantly broke the kiss and gently pushed away. As he stood back his heartbeat thundered so loud in his ears that he thought it was in serious danger of exploding

Immediately missing the intimacy of his body pressing against hers, Buffy looked up with confusion.

"Liam?"

When Angel stepped back even further her large troubled eyes filled with pain and rejection.

"Did I do something wrong?" Buffy whispered again as a small frown marred her beautiful face.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to cut out the pain he saw Angel shook his head.

"No" His voice was barely a whisper. " I shouldn't be taking advantage of you, not while you still can't remember"

"You don't want me?" Buffy hated the tremor that appeared in her voice as she spoke, but no matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn't prevent it.

**She had been ready to give herself to Liam, heart, body and soul but he had simply rejected her**

"Not want you?" Angel laughed, but the sound that fell from his lips held no amusement. The cool chuckle rattled through the room with deep felt bitterness.

"Buffy I want you so much I'm physically in pain." Angel replied, running his hand through his hair with sheer frustration. He watched as Buffy struggled to accept his words and knew that she was finding the situation even harder to understand then he was.

Taking a deep breath, he continued in a much softer tone.

" Buffy, me wanting you was never the problem.... I always wanted you"

"But I don't understand?"

Angel sighed and held out his hand.

"Then maybe it's time I told you the truth."

Slowly, he led her towards his study and on reaching his desk, Angel pulled open the top drawer.

Buffy felt her heart lurch in sudden panic. The look on Liam's face was the same unreadable mask he had worn at the hospital. For a second she swore she caught a fleeting look of anger but, as quickly as it had appeared, it was hidden

Standing in silence she watched and waited as the contents of a long envelope were then poured onto the table.

Two rings and a folded sheet of paper.


TBC...