Chapter Eight--The Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom!!
Bwahahahahah!
Author's Note: This one will be a tad short, mainly because I want it to end, because it's driving me crazy, bwahahahahahah. I love Rand, I love Wheel of Time (if perhaps I could combine Rand, Lloyd and Lavitz from Legend of Dragoon, Corran Horn from the X-Wing novels, and Legolas from LoTR, I would have the hottest man alive.) Uhhhhhh, ignore that. ~giggle~ Is this the last chapter? Is it the last of this insanity?! Could it be! No. Bwahahahahaha! For your information , I have decided to subject you all to MORE. Next up to be tormented is either Mat or Perrin! Bwahahahaha! (Sounds like a evil person upchucking, cool :)
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Wheel of Time. There I said it, now it's done, let's kick the @$$ of the Dark One.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Almost there.........
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
---Where Demandred is---
"THIS IS YOUR DOING!!!!!" Demandred bellowed, waving his hands in the air wildly. "I'LL HAVE YOUR EYES YOU FOOLSIH REINCARNATED CHAMPION OF THE CREATOR!!!!"
Rand raised an eyebrow. (hehe...eyebrows.....hehehe)
"Ya wanna pickle?" yelled Bluebell. (translation: kill him now!!)
Demandred ripped the gag out of the Dragon Reborn's mouth. "There! Now the world will here you're every scream!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"
The Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death began to hum and glow demonically as the Forsaken started to channel into it.
Then the doors leading into the room blew off their hinges, allowing the great Nynaeve to stride in and throw out a halting hand. "STOP!"
"Yeah." Lan chimed in. "You tell him mashiara."
The MOST AWESOME Aes Sedai in the entire world turned to her husband and beamed. "Oh Lan....that's so sweet."
"Not as sweet as you my love."
(Author's Note: Yes, I know they don't act like that. It's late and I'm running on sugar and orange scented candles...hmmmmmm....tasty.)
Nynaeve giggled while Demandred stopped, hands raised witha look of disgusted confusion that mirrored Rand's.
"Oh for the love of dice!" Mat exclaimed and pushed past Nynaeve. "We need him back. I'm gonna give you to the count of five..."
"INSOLENT HUMAN!!!" the Forsaken roared and turned his attention to Mat, who dove behind Perrin, who dove behind Nynaeve.
The battle of wills clashed as Aes Sedai met Forsaken. Saidar tangled with saidin and the fight was on.
"Somebody wanna get me out of here?" Rand asked plantivily.
The Gray Men ran amok with the Maiden of the Spear and the Warders of the Aes Sedai until.... "PICKLES!!!" Bluebell screamed and launched himself at Mat.
"The hell with you." the gambling ultra hottie declared and kicked open the lid to the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom.
"NO MAT!" Nynaeve screamed and dove for cover as the keening skrieks of those imprisoned with in the Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom rose in triumph.
"Ehhh.....crap." Mat said.
The Daughter of the Nine Moons flew from the large box, her bat wings flapping madly as she cackled in insane glee.
"I'm supposed to MARRY her?"
"Anytime here people!" Rand called.
Next from the box was a fairly p!$$ed off Faile, who had been jammed in when it was found that there was extra space. "PERRIN!!!! I'M GONNA BOOT YOU TO THE BLIGHT!!"
"Run for my life!" cried the blacksmith, and he jumped away and ran around the battle with Fastwind at his heels.
And last but not least, the most horrible of them all. The Daughter Heir of Andor leapt from the box, a evil smile on her face.
"Guardian Force Tuon!" Nynaeve called, "Attack!"
And Tuon dove, screaming happily. Zipper screamed as well before the GF smashed into him, driving them both into the wall.
"Elayne!" Rand cried happily.
"Rand!" she returned in joy, her eyes narrowing in on Demandred.
"$h!t." the Forsaken groaned. "All I wanted to do was watch the game and kill the Dragon."
In the background, Tuon chewed Bluebell's ears off while Nannygoat was being beat over the head by Sulin's spear.
"COVER YOUR EARS!!!" Lan shouted and took cover behind the Lazy-Boy.
"Ya wanna pickle!" (translation: I don't have any ears!)
Elayne fixed her skirts prettily and held her head up high.
"Creator save us." Mat prayed and hopped behind the big-screen. "Not that!"
A huge exhale of air from the Daughter Heir......then........
"SONIC SNIFF!" she yelled and let loose. The sonic waves of the super weapon crashed through the Forsaken's stronghold, destroying all in its path.
Demandred let loose with a wail and spun a quick Gateway, running for his life before the entire place caved in on them.
The Gray Men just screamed.
When the terror had ceased and Elayne's super weapon could no longer go on, the rescuers rose from their cover to survey the destrustion, awed by the power of Elayne's nose.
"Now you see why I had to marry ALL of them." Rand muttered. "Bloody nose, bloody knives, bloody spears."
Tuon screamed in dispair before the call of the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom sent her hurtling back inside. Mat slammed the lid shut and quickly sat on it, whistling innocently.
Nynaeve dusted off her dress. "Well, now let us return to the Pun Palace and return the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom back to K- Mart before the warrenty runs out."
"Ouch! Faile! I didn't put you in the box! Owwww!"
They turned to leave until a high whistle stopped them. They turned as one.
Rand blew a strand of hair from his eyes in exasperation. "Did we forget something?" he asked, still tied to the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death.
Nynaeve snapped her fingers. "The Gray Men!" she exclaimed and spun on them.
"We surrender." Zipper and Nannygoat cried in unision. Bluebell squeaked.
"Burn them." Faile hissed.
"Hang them from the towers at the palace by their toes." suggested Sulin.
"Eat them!" Tuon's muffed cry came from the box. Mat smacked the side of it with a borrowed spear. "Silence!" he ordered.
"Uhhhhh.....I got an idea...." Perrin suggested.
"Impliment it at once." Nynaeve said and wrapped the Gray Men in bands of Air to haul them away with them.
"Hellllloooo." Rand called. "Still tied to the chair."
Sulin jogged back. "I'll handle this. Go on." she informed the others.
When they remained alone, Sulin placed one foot on the lip of the chair and leaned down. Rand raised a eyebrow.
"About that raise......" the Maiden began.
--Where Demandred is---
He hadn't killed the Dragon AND the White Tower Warders won the big game. Moridin was going to gloat for sure, this couldn't get any worse. Well, at least he was rid of those Soulless idiots.
He rose form his spare Lazy-Boy in the second secret stronghold he had and ambled to the kitchen, grabbing something to drink from the fridge....when the doorbell rang.
The Forsaken's eyebrow rose.
KNOCK KNOCK
Who in the Blight could that be?
He went to the front door and opened it carefully.
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~grins~ The End. For now. It was short, but blah, it's late. Next up......Perrin and the Three Whitecloaks. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Author's Note: This one will be a tad short, mainly because I want it to end, because it's driving me crazy, bwahahahahahah. I love Rand, I love Wheel of Time (if perhaps I could combine Rand, Lloyd and Lavitz from Legend of Dragoon, Corran Horn from the X-Wing novels, and Legolas from LoTR, I would have the hottest man alive.) Uhhhhhh, ignore that. ~giggle~ Is this the last chapter? Is it the last of this insanity?! Could it be! No. Bwahahahahaha! For your information , I have decided to subject you all to MORE. Next up to be tormented is either Mat or Perrin! Bwahahahaha! (Sounds like a evil person upchucking, cool :)
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Wheel of Time. There I said it, now it's done, let's kick the @$$ of the Dark One.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Almost there.........
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
---Where Demandred is---
"THIS IS YOUR DOING!!!!!" Demandred bellowed, waving his hands in the air wildly. "I'LL HAVE YOUR EYES YOU FOOLSIH REINCARNATED CHAMPION OF THE CREATOR!!!!"
Rand raised an eyebrow. (hehe...eyebrows.....hehehe)
"Ya wanna pickle?" yelled Bluebell. (translation: kill him now!!)
Demandred ripped the gag out of the Dragon Reborn's mouth. "There! Now the world will here you're every scream!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"
The Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death began to hum and glow demonically as the Forsaken started to channel into it.
Then the doors leading into the room blew off their hinges, allowing the great Nynaeve to stride in and throw out a halting hand. "STOP!"
"Yeah." Lan chimed in. "You tell him mashiara."
The MOST AWESOME Aes Sedai in the entire world turned to her husband and beamed. "Oh Lan....that's so sweet."
"Not as sweet as you my love."
(Author's Note: Yes, I know they don't act like that. It's late and I'm running on sugar and orange scented candles...hmmmmmm....tasty.)
Nynaeve giggled while Demandred stopped, hands raised witha look of disgusted confusion that mirrored Rand's.
"Oh for the love of dice!" Mat exclaimed and pushed past Nynaeve. "We need him back. I'm gonna give you to the count of five..."
"INSOLENT HUMAN!!!" the Forsaken roared and turned his attention to Mat, who dove behind Perrin, who dove behind Nynaeve.
The battle of wills clashed as Aes Sedai met Forsaken. Saidar tangled with saidin and the fight was on.
"Somebody wanna get me out of here?" Rand asked plantivily.
The Gray Men ran amok with the Maiden of the Spear and the Warders of the Aes Sedai until.... "PICKLES!!!" Bluebell screamed and launched himself at Mat.
"The hell with you." the gambling ultra hottie declared and kicked open the lid to the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom.
"NO MAT!" Nynaeve screamed and dove for cover as the keening skrieks of those imprisoned with in the Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom rose in triumph.
"Ehhh.....crap." Mat said.
The Daughter of the Nine Moons flew from the large box, her bat wings flapping madly as she cackled in insane glee.
"I'm supposed to MARRY her?"
"Anytime here people!" Rand called.
Next from the box was a fairly p!$$ed off Faile, who had been jammed in when it was found that there was extra space. "PERRIN!!!! I'M GONNA BOOT YOU TO THE BLIGHT!!"
"Run for my life!" cried the blacksmith, and he jumped away and ran around the battle with Fastwind at his heels.
And last but not least, the most horrible of them all. The Daughter Heir of Andor leapt from the box, a evil smile on her face.
"Guardian Force Tuon!" Nynaeve called, "Attack!"
And Tuon dove, screaming happily. Zipper screamed as well before the GF smashed into him, driving them both into the wall.
"Elayne!" Rand cried happily.
"Rand!" she returned in joy, her eyes narrowing in on Demandred.
"$h!t." the Forsaken groaned. "All I wanted to do was watch the game and kill the Dragon."
In the background, Tuon chewed Bluebell's ears off while Nannygoat was being beat over the head by Sulin's spear.
"COVER YOUR EARS!!!" Lan shouted and took cover behind the Lazy-Boy.
"Ya wanna pickle!" (translation: I don't have any ears!)
Elayne fixed her skirts prettily and held her head up high.
"Creator save us." Mat prayed and hopped behind the big-screen. "Not that!"
A huge exhale of air from the Daughter Heir......then........
"SONIC SNIFF!" she yelled and let loose. The sonic waves of the super weapon crashed through the Forsaken's stronghold, destroying all in its path.
Demandred let loose with a wail and spun a quick Gateway, running for his life before the entire place caved in on them.
The Gray Men just screamed.
When the terror had ceased and Elayne's super weapon could no longer go on, the rescuers rose from their cover to survey the destrustion, awed by the power of Elayne's nose.
"Now you see why I had to marry ALL of them." Rand muttered. "Bloody nose, bloody knives, bloody spears."
Tuon screamed in dispair before the call of the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom sent her hurtling back inside. Mat slammed the lid shut and quickly sat on it, whistling innocently.
Nynaeve dusted off her dress. "Well, now let us return to the Pun Palace and return the Box Of Last Resort Before Absolute Impending Doom back to K- Mart before the warrenty runs out."
"Ouch! Faile! I didn't put you in the box! Owwww!"
They turned to leave until a high whistle stopped them. They turned as one.
Rand blew a strand of hair from his eyes in exasperation. "Did we forget something?" he asked, still tied to the Ter'angreal of Absolutely Painfully Horrible Agonizing Wretched Death.
Nynaeve snapped her fingers. "The Gray Men!" she exclaimed and spun on them.
"We surrender." Zipper and Nannygoat cried in unision. Bluebell squeaked.
"Burn them." Faile hissed.
"Hang them from the towers at the palace by their toes." suggested Sulin.
"Eat them!" Tuon's muffed cry came from the box. Mat smacked the side of it with a borrowed spear. "Silence!" he ordered.
"Uhhhhh.....I got an idea...." Perrin suggested.
"Impliment it at once." Nynaeve said and wrapped the Gray Men in bands of Air to haul them away with them.
"Hellllloooo." Rand called. "Still tied to the chair."
Sulin jogged back. "I'll handle this. Go on." she informed the others.
When they remained alone, Sulin placed one foot on the lip of the chair and leaned down. Rand raised a eyebrow.
"About that raise......" the Maiden began.
--Where Demandred is---
He hadn't killed the Dragon AND the White Tower Warders won the big game. Moridin was going to gloat for sure, this couldn't get any worse. Well, at least he was rid of those Soulless idiots.
He rose form his spare Lazy-Boy in the second secret stronghold he had and ambled to the kitchen, grabbing something to drink from the fridge....when the doorbell rang.
The Forsaken's eyebrow rose.
KNOCK KNOCK
Who in the Blight could that be?
He went to the front door and opened it carefully.
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~grins~ The End. For now. It was short, but blah, it's late. Next up......Perrin and the Three Whitecloaks. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!
