Part 20.


With the sound of the front door slamming loudly behind her, Buffy held her head high and walked away from William Pennington's house determined to bring an end, once and for all, to the nightmare that had plunged her life into confusion.

For one terrifying moment, as she fled along the darkened hallway of the mansion, she swore she felt William's presence behind her. But, as her heartbeat pounded so hard in her chest that it almost snapped a rib, Buffy accepted that her *stalker* had finally accepted the painful truth.

**Stalker?**

As soon as the word Angel had used for William slipped in to her head Buffy rejected it. Despite everything that had happened between the two of them, she knew that the cruel description of the blonde English poet wasn't really the truth. She realised sadly, that in all fairness, William really did seem to love her. The foolish young man had worn his heart on his sleeve and his emotions had blazed from his cool blue eyes with every longing glance, but it still didn't change anything. No matter how much he thought he loved her, Buffy couldn't change her feelings about him.

She would never love William. She couldn't love him.

Taking a full breath of cool night air, Buffy silently cursed her amnesia and the fact that she still couldn't remember what her life had been like just a few months earlier. It was so hard living in the dark, not knowing who she could to turn to or who she to trust.

Running her hands through her hair she stopped when she reached her temples and ignoring the pain, she pressed her fingers firmly against the skin.

"It's not like I'm asking for total recall. Just a few names and faces would be a start." Buffy tried to reason with the dark void that swirled inside in her head but as always it remained immune to her pleas.

Whatever was trapped inside her mind it was content to stay there...

**But for how long. A week. A month. A year.... The rest of my life**

The thought of living the rest of her life with no memory of her childhood, her family, or of even falling in love, sent a rush of depression straight to her heart. But, this time, Buffy refused to feel sorry for herself. If that was how her life played out, she now knew she had the strength to deal with it.

The scene with William had been painful but it had cleared up a lot of confusion

Buffy now knew that whatever her past life had been like, it didn't include loving Will Pennington. She didn't need memories to know that much. Her skin whispered it to her and the beat of her heart confirmed it and if she really needed more confirmation, the rich blood that pounded through her veins screamed out that her heart had been lost long before she had ever known William.

Her heart belonged to Angel. It didn't matter if he now hated her, If he never forgave her. Buffy's heart would always belong to Angel.

Thinking back to William she sadly shook her head

What ever his reasons were for lying to her, Buffy would never be able forgive the good-looking Englishman for his deceit and dishonesty. He had taken advantage of her when she had been at her lowest and that in itself was unforgivable.

For a second she felt a flicker of grief. In different circumstances they might have become friends, but that could never happen now, any chance of a friendship was ruined. After tonight, Buffy knew that she would never see William again, the defeated look in his eyes when she turned away from him had told her that much.

**Maybe that was for the best**

Feeling a slight weight lift from her slim shoulders Buffy walked down the stone steps and, standing in the middle of the deserted street, she exhaled a deep sigh of relief.

**She had one tiny part of her life back.. Whatever else she might turn out to be, she wasn't an adulteress**

A cool breeze fluttered down Crawford Street and gently rattled the leaves in the nearby trees. Buffy shivered as the chill brushed over her skin and left tiny goosebumps on her bare arms. There was definitely a storm in the air and in all her hurry to stop Liam from killing William, she had left without a coat and was now stranded in the middle of Sunnydale.

Tilting her head up towards the heavens, she watched a thick blanket of cloud move slowly across the evening sky. As the stars faded from her sight, Buffy sighed. The swirling grey masses dominating the skyline matched her mood perfectly.

** How could she have been fooled so easily. She should have known right from the start that William was lying..**

**Why hadn't she seen right through him..?**

She already knew both these arguments were irrational. Pennington had taken advantage of her amnesia and used it for... for what?..... Buffy shook her head not wanting to even travel up that road of thought. How easily it could have all gone wrong. With a shudder she realised how simple it would have been to have believed his stories and fallen into his bed.....

"Stop it!" Again she slammed the door on thoughts of William.

**William was now firmly in the past. She now had to look only towards the future**

"Do I even have a future?"

**You could always get the hell out of here once and for all. Leave Sunnydale and all this misery behind you.**

Buffy closed her eyes as the thought drifted into her mind. Leaving this town was a possibility but the only trouble was, if she ran now, the empty void that lived within her, would surely follow her for the rest of her days.

"Or maybe I could just stay, stay here and make a new life for myself?" Ignoring the fact that she was standing in the middle of the street talking to herself, Buffy pondered the argument out loud.

There were two options now staring in front of her..

** A life completely on her own or.... A new life with Angel?**

The second choice brought a small smile to her lips.

**How many people get a second chance?**

"But would Angel still want her?**

Buffy looked up and then down the still deserted street and shook her head wishing that she had accepted the cab driver's kind offer to wait for her. She shuddered to think what William had told Liam and how much he had believed. From the damage to William's face she knew it hadn't gone well. The first thing she had to do now was find her husband and bring an end to William's deception once and for all. Only after they had laid the past to rest could they talk about the future.

But there was one giant stumbling block........With the whole town so unfamiliar, where on earth would she start?

"Where would Liam go?" Buffy closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath.

At first she felt nothing, just the usual swirling void that blocked her mind with its confusion and tormented her with its empty promises. But Buffy was tired of playing the victim, instead of giving in to the darkness that fought her at every turn; she battered her way through the abyss. Her memory might not play fair but as Buffy delved into her soul, her heart played its trump card. A tiny crack appeared in the void and a trickle of light seeped into her mind.

**The beach. Go to the beach**

Night had completely fallen on Sunnydale by the time she reached her destination and the occasional moonbeam peeping through the gathering clouds was the only light breaking the darkness.

After sinking up to her ankles in the soft sand, Buffy slipped off her shoes and decided to continue on barefoot. Walking to the water's edge, the fine white sand felt cold and damp beneath her small feet and every few seconds, a small rush of water would slip over her toes as the cool waves caressed the shore and then quickly fled back to the sea.

The beach was simply beautiful in the dim light, and even though it appeared to be totally deserted, the small girl didn't feel at all out of place. Buffy had the strangest feeling that she was safe there.

Staying near the water's edge for a guideline, she continued to walk along the wet sand with just the sound of the waves for company.

Buffy stopped to pick up a small shell from beneath her toes and breathed in deeply. She licked her lips tasting the salt in the air and sighed as the cool sea breeze washed over her and revitalised her tired skin.

For the very first time that night she felt relaxed.

And that was the moment she felt his presence

**Angel was there**

She couldn't see him yet, but she could feel him. Buffy knew that somewhere in this darkness Liam was out there, hurt and alone and fighting with demons of his own

******
A mile along the beach and with the lights of Sunnydale now a distant memory, Angel stared out at the ocean in front of him and his handsome face fell into a deep scowl.

At his feet the usually lazy waves were almost unrecognisable as they crashed angrily along the shoreline. His expensive leather shoes were probably already ruined as the salt water splashed around his ankles, soaking through his sock and trousers.

Not that Liam cared.

He'd gone there hoping the cool sea air would clear his hot head and maybe blow all thoughts of his wife away once and for all, but it had been a mistake. The beach was the last place he should have sought solace.

Buffy was everywhere.

The surf whispered her name as it tumbled over his feet. Every grain of sand reminded him of happier times and just what he had lost.

Standing alone in the darkness, with the salty spray blowing through his hair, the tall dark figure tried desperately to put the shattered pieces of his life back together. As the events of the last few hours replayed in his head like a bad movie, the lonely young man angrily chastised himself for acting so foolishly.

He couldn't believe that he'd almost fallen for that poet's bullshit. Life had been crazy these last four months and nothing made sense any more but if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Buffy had never cheated on him. Their marriage had been so damn perfect that the idea of either of them cheating was laughable. She wasn't just his wife, she was his lover and his best friend all rolled into one. Liam honestly believed that he would have known if she had been that unhappy. He would have felt it in his soul if she had given her heart away to Pennington.

**But you didn't feel her leave you** Closing his eyes Liam shook the argument from his head.

In all honesty, it was too close to home. It was true, he hadn't seen her leaving him, the day it happened had been such a surprise it had almost knocked him over.

**It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy**

He still found it madness. Buffy had left him for something *HE* had supposedly done and no matter how hard he tried to think back, Liam was still dammed if he knew what on earth it was. They hadn't fought, not so much as a cross word and, then, completely out of the blue his wife had fled into the night.

**But she didn't leave you for him. ** The thought brought little comfort. Somewhere lost deep in his wife's memory there was still the real reason for her leaving and until she remembered, Liam knew they would both continue to be haunted.

******

Thirty minutes after arriving at the beach, Buffy's sand covered feet had covered almost a mile without seeing another human being.

The beach was totally deserted and as the clouds continued to roll in from the sea, bringing the promise of a real downpour, the small glow of moonlight that had guided her earlier path grew dimmer. But it didn't matter how dark or how cold the night got; she wasn't quitting until she found him.

With a lonely sigh, Buffy wrapped her cold arms around her body and walked deeper into the night


TBC...