Scene and Not Heard
by Kyllikki (kyllikki8@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: If he notices, he never says anything. But she can
feel his eyes
following her.
Content warning: This is not a happy piece. That's all I'm gonna say.
Note: Diverges from canon after "Aftershock." Additional notes at end.
**********
i.
Holy shit, where did that car come fro--
ii.
Sweet Jesus, her head hurts. Fuck the light at the end of the tunnel;
she can't
see past the red and purple fireworks exploding in her head. Vaguely
through
the pain she hears Lennie's voice. God, Claire, you all right?
Claire? She
grunts and tries to open her eyes, but nothing seems to be working. I
called
911, Claire. The paramedics'll be here any second. She
grunts again. If only
her head weren't exploding on her shoulders....
iii.
The doctors keep reminding her how lucky she is. Eighteen stitches,
a
concussion and a broken arm. The fireworks in her head have subsided
to a dull
echo and the drugs keep her from caring. Lucky.
They don't tell her about the condition of the other driver. She doesn't
ask.
iv.
He shows up the morning they release her, pleading with her to let him
drive her
home. Wearily she acquiesces, climbs into the passenger seat beside
him. Too
tired to argue, too drugged to care; no wonder people get hooked on this
stuff.
He follows her up the stairs to her apartment. Tries to get the keys
from her
to open the door, too, but she bats his hand away. He settles for clinging
close to her heels as she enters. She makes a beeline for the bedroom,
shedding
her clothing as she goes. Still he follows her, but she can waste no
energy on
his desires or needs. Standing in the middle of her bedroom clad only
in her
underwear, she turns to face him, tells him she is going to sleep and will
see
him later. Ignoring his dumbfounded look, she crawls into bed and allows
oblivion to overtake her. He can find his own way out.
v.
She drags herself back to work three days later, hair hanging over her
forehead
to conceal the angry line of stitches. Drugs are a wonderful thing,
she
decides. Her left arm still hurts like hell every time she has to move
it in
and out of the sling, but if she just sits quietly at her desk, she is able
to
get a respectable amount of work done.
Jack sticks his head out his office door. Will you be staying late tonight?
One deceptively simple question, so many layers of meaning. The efficacy
of the
drugs quickly takes a nosedive and a dull burn fires up inside her temples.
She
sighs. I missed nearly a week of work. What do you think?
He flinches. I was just wondering if you wanted to order Chinese or something.
The burn quickly works its way up into a steady pounding. She lowers
her head
onto her good hand, massaging her forehead and willing fatigue into the
background. Fine. Whatever. Just -- nothing too hot,
okay?
Fine. He ducks back into his office and closes the door a
little too hard to be
accidental.
vi.
Claire, it's me. I was just calling to see if you, you know, needed
anything.
... Um, call me if you want, but you don't have to. Bye.
Lennie's voice sounds tinny on the answering machine. Flat.
She laughs hollowly, hearing the echo in her empty apartment. It
figures.
vii.
It's become more difficult finding excuses to avoid him at work.
She's
resourceful, though, and quickly becomes an adept player of this new game.
Eating lunch in obscure restaurants, writing in the law library instead of
at
her desk, ducking out of the office at five on the nose rather than sticking
around to quibble over where they're going for dinner and who's paying --
she's
surprised by how easily she takes to her new routine. How little she
depends on
his presence to anchor her life.
If he notices, he never says anything. She can feel his eyes following
her,
though, and she wonders when his gaze became so stifling.
viii.
She takes the morning off for a follow-up with her doctor. The cast
will be off
soon. Lucky, he reminds her. She repeats it to herself, rolling
the word
around on her tongue, tasting it. Lucky.
ix.
Her luck runs out that evening. Five o'clock comes and goes and still
she sits
at her desk, trying to recoup the lost morning of work. She hears his
office
door opening and listens to him cross the hall and remove her jacket from
the
hook. Braces herself.
He thrusts the jacket in her face. Let's go.
I don't have time for this, she growls, eyes never leaving her desk.
Let's go, Claire. Insistent.
Prepared to dig in her heels, she glares up at him. Shit, he looks
determined.
A dog with a bone, ready to secret her away or dig her out at his whim.
I'm not going to drop this. Either you come with me and eat or
you go home.
Those are your options. He looks appropriately pleased with
himself and his
ultimatum.
A sickening weight pushes down on her stomach. She looks back at
the brief,
unable to meet his eyes again. I told you, I've got work to do.
Leaning down, his hand gently covers hers, removing the pen from its grip.
He
manages to turn a simple act into foreplay, grazing his long fingers down
the
inside of her arm. Her insides twist, but not from desire. How
long has it
been since his presence stopped affecting her? A month? Two?
She can't remember anymore.
Please, Claire, he breathes into her ear. Let's get out
of here for a little
while, huh? We need to talk about this. She recognizes
his most seductive tone
of voice, the one he uses when he really wants something.
Just as gently, she rescues her pen from his hand. She drops her
voice to a
similarly seductive level and whispers back. I appreciate the offer,
Jack.
Really. But I need to catch up on this pile of stuff or we'll never
get to have
dinner together again because I'll still be buried in paperwork.
So... She
graces him with a sweet smile and bats her eyelashes, a Harlequin-esque ploy
to
which he is startlingly susceptible. It still surprises her, this ability
to
manipulate him so easily.
He glowers back at her, moved but not entirely convinced. Claire--
She cuts him off. Look, I promise we'll talk. She strokes
his arm, fingertips
gliding across the smooth cotton in a twisted imitation of his earlier caress.
But later, okay? Believe me, I'll be a much happier person once
I get caught
up.
She sees the fire in his eyes die. Victory.
Okay, have it your way. But I'm holding you to that promise.
She watches him go as he retreats across the hall.
x.
The same day her cast comes off, she runs into Ben Stone at a party hosted
by a
mutual acquaintance. Not surprising, really, given the sheer number
of
attorneys present. Still, she is oddly content to sit in a quiet corner
and sip
coffee with him. No expectations, no assumptions. He's working
for a nonprofit
organization. Environmental law, wonderful coworkers, great job satisfaction.
Maybe she should give it some thought, he says.
He smiles now, she realizes.
He gives her his card, tells her to call if she's ever interested in getting
out. He doesn't elaborate; he doesn't need to.
She thanks him, returns the smile. So easy. She carefully tucks
the card in
her pocket.
xi.
Saturday night, Jack shows up on her doorstep with a bottle of wine.
Unable to
think of a good excuse, she lets him in, allows him to fill her apartment
with
the force of his presence. They sit on the couch and talk of nothing,
working
their way first through his bottle, then one of hers. For once he's
not pushing
her, pulling her, molding her; instead, he turns on the charm, tells a joke,
makes her laugh. An honest-to-goodness belly laugh. Idly she wonders
how long
it has been, but gives up when she realizes she can't recall. She begins
to
understand again why she once desired this man. Understanding flows
into
relaxation as she allows the wine to slide over her senses and soothe her.
Conversation lulls and they remain reclined, steeping in each other's presence.
Easy, for once. But then he leans over to kiss her, slips his tongue
into her
mouth and waggles it around like an errant schoolboy. He tastes of
shiraz and
his hands tremble when they slide underneath her shirt to clumsily grope
her
breasts. Let me make love to you, Claire. He begins kissing
his way down her
neck. Please.
Unable to nod the assent she knows he expects, yet unwilling to summon
the
energy required for a refusal and the subsequent argument, she remains still.
She trusts he will take silence as acquiescence; he does not disappoint her.
He
renews his assault on her breasts, pawing them while fumbling with her bra
clasp. A distant part of her mind is amused that this man has been
on earth for
over half a century and still struggles with a task girls master by their
mid-teens.
When he finally succeeds, he looks up at her, grins. God, Claire,
I can't
believe I almost lost you.
Lucky, she reminds herself, repeating it like a mantra. One last
time, she
allows him this indulgence. She refuses to consider the weight of morning.
-finis-
Many thanks to jael for encouragement, incisive beta ("I can't read that.
It
came through in boxes.") and conquerors under the influence of controlled
substances. g
Thanks also to cirocco, for encouraging me to post this here. :)
Feedback is treasured at kyllikki8@hotmail.com
