Title:

Labor Pains

Author:

Shun'u

Series:

Inuyasha

Genre:

Humor

Rating:

PG - for language and undignified inebriation.

Spoilers:

None

Warning:

*psst* Beware of rampant OOCness. Otherwise, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all its characters are the creation and property of, not to mention (c) to Rumiko Takahashi and all subsequent parties. I humbly borrow them for my bizarre fanfiction at no offense to their creator. Labor Pains is a product of my own demented mind and therefore (c) to Shun'u Hanashiro 2001-2002.

Back by popular demand... hehehe... Labor Pains is resurrected.

July 2002 L A B O R • P A I N S

An Inuyasha Fanfiction
By Shun'u Hanashiro

...Recap of Part II...

"Enough!"

The roar held sufficient power behind it to shake the Higurashi Shrine's very foundation.

This time it was Sesshoumaru who couldn't take any more of the insanity. He pointed an imperious finger at Miroku. "You, shut up!" Then he turned on his brother and Shippou. He didn't have anything against the kit, so... "Inuyasha, sit!"

An amazing thing happened, just then.

Sesshoumaru actually had to blink a couple of times before he could accept that his mind wasn't playing games with him.

His orders were followed to the word.

Not only did Miroku clamp his lips shut and not utter a single word; Inuyasha also sat. The demon lord was stunned. He had never tried using Kagome's trick before because he had been under the impression that she alone could use the prayer beads. Now he had to revise his assumption. Apparently it wasn't the prayer beads that still held magical dominance over Inuyasha - they had lost their powers long ago when Inuyasha lost his intent to harm Kagome.

Inuyasha's reactions were, strangely enough... conditioned.

Sesshoumaru felt an evil itch between his shoulder blades. All he had to do was say the word and Inuyasha's face would plaster itself to the ground. Sesshoumaru thought of the endless possibilities that had just opened up to him...

In the middle of Sesshoumaru's pleasant daydreams, Inuyasha's shock, Miroku's confusion, Shippou's amazement, Souta's incomprehension, and Rin's ramblings, a voice carried strong and clear through the ceiling from the second floor.

"INUYASHA, IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I'M GOING TO SIT YOU SO HARD, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND AGAIN!"

Inuyasha groaned in pain from his prone position on the living room floor.

Rin had to ask. "All you did was lay a hand on Kagome-neechan?"

Part III

"Breathe, Kagome-chan," Sango instructed her weary friend, "breathe, in, out, in... out..."

Simultaneously practicing the breathing exercises with Kagome, Sango worried. Kagome was such a tiny woman... There was danger that she wouldn't be able to push the child through her birth canal because her hips were so narrow. And the baby was proving to be larger than expected.

"Aaargh!" Kagome gasped and fell back onto the bed again as her trembling arms gave out. "Oooh, I am so gonna kill him after this is over!! I'm sorry baby, but you won't have a father for much longer."

Sango stifled a grin. Poor Inuyasha. She wondered if he had any clue what was in store for him once Kagome recovered her strength.

Meanwhile Mrs. Higurashi was wiping her daughter's brow with a cool cloth and holding onto Kagome's hand in reassurance. Her calm, practical voice eased much of Kagome's tension and fears. "It's all right, Kagome-chan. You're doing great. It'll be over soon. I just want you to push a little bit more for me, okay?"

"Mama..." Kagome bit her lip to hold in a groan as another contraction began. "If I ever say that I want more kids, please knock some sense into me."

"Yes, dear."

Sango patted Kagome's leg and reminded her to continue breathing. The baby was crowning. She could see a tuft of wispy black hair as his head slowly appeared through the birth canal. Soon their journey would be over and the little boy would open his eyes to a new world.

Would he have violet or blue eyes?

***

Meanwhile... downstairs...

"Now, now, Sesshoumaru..." Miroku couldn't believe his damnable luck. Was he actually standing in front of the former hanyou and defending Inuyasha against his brother? Buddha had one hell of a perverse sense of humor.

"Oi, I don't need you to defend me, houshi," Inuyasha grumbled.

"Uh... Inuyasha," Shippou whispered dramatically, "If I were you, I wouldn't decline any kind of help right now."

Indeed, it would've probably behooved the violet-eyed human if he were to accept any and all assistance offered to him. After all, not only did Sesshoumaru have an unholy gleam in his amber eyes. He was also... smiling. Congenially, no less. Even Rin, who was normally oblivious to the more subtle undercurrents of her environment, was starting to fidget from the building tension.

"If you think I'm gonna cower from Sesshoumaru, you have another thing coming," Inuyasha told them all flatly. No way would his pride allow him to hide behind their protection. He had always managed to confront Sesshoumaru before. Of course, Inuyasha had oh-so-inconveniently forgotten that he no longer had any claws with which to defend himself, let alone fight back.

Sesshoumaru hadn't forgotten. His smile widened to heretofore-unknown proportions.

Miroku tried to reason with his friend even as he wondered why he bothered to do so. If anything existed that was more stubborn than a pig and mule hybrid, it would be Inuyasha. "Maybe cower isn't the word, Inuyasha. Taking precautions, however-"

"Same thing, Miroku." Inuyasha crossed his arms belligerently. "Stop trying to interfere. I could handle him before." Sesshoumaru's brows arched at the blatant exaggeration and the smile transformed into a smirk. Inuyasha ignored his expressions and continued, "I can handle him now."

Souta tapped Shippou on the shoulder, "Ne, what's going on, Shippou? Why's Sesshoumaru-sama smiling like that?" Even he could tell that something peculiar was happening. Something ground breaking. Something never before witnessed. Something... well, you get the point already.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said softly.

Inuyasha glared at his troublemaking brother. It never failed. Wherever Sesshoumaru went, trouble was bound to follow. "What-"

"Sit."

*thump*

"What the hell!"

Miroku shook his head. I tried to warn him, Kagome-sama.

"Sit."

"Bastard!"

"Tsk tsk, such language in front of the children, brother dear." Sesshoumaru settled himself on the couch and curiously watched Inuyasha try to peel himself from the ground. "And just for that... Sit."

"Argh!!!"

Shippou sighed, "Even an idiot could've seen that one coming a mile away."

"We're talking about Inuyasha," Miroku commented.

"True."

"Miroku-san," Souta asked innocently. "Do Sesshoumaru-sama and Inuyasha-niichan do this often?"

"All the time," Miroku said. He noticed that despite the repetitious abuse Inuyasha was taking, he looked relatively unharmed. "It's part of Inuyasha's training, you see. He needs this so that when he fights other youkai he doesn't feel the pain as much. It makes him a better fighter."

"I see..." Souta didn't see at all. It all looked a little masochistic on Inuyasha's part. Souta wondered if he should tell Kagome about Inuyasha-niichan's fetish for pain. His sister would certainly be shocked. Of course he wouldn't mention Sesshoumaru-sama's somewhat sadistic participation in the... uh... training...

Sesshoumaru took a break from torturing *ahem* training his brother to call out, "Rin, bring me a drink." His throat was getting a little parched. Between the alcohol and using his voice so much more than normal, he needed something refreshing. "Some water would be fine."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Do you think we should intervene?" Shippou asked Miroku from the sidelines as Rin scampered off to do her guardian's bidding.

"Nope." Miroku was tired of being the voice of reason every time the brothers were anywhere near each other. He liked to be reprobate too, damn it. "Neither of them will listen to us."

"Maybe they'll listen to Kagome," Shippou wisely - maybe even a little evilly - suggested to the monk.

"Hmm..." A fiendish idea formed in Miroku's head. Apparently the little devil that had been sitting on Shippou's shoulder was making up for being dormant so long. "That's not a bad idea, Shippou."

Rin returned with a chilled bottle of water, which Sesshoumaru took his time about opening while Inuyasha swore and struggled in vain to rise.

"Rin," Miroku called over the hyperactive little girl.

"Hai, Miroku-san?"

Miroku crouched down to her eye level. "Do me a favor, would you? Go tell Kagome..."

Souta watched wide-eyed as Rin dashed up the stairwell after Miroku finished whispering his instructions to her. "What did you tell her to do, Miroku-san?"

Shippou dragged Souta to a corner. His sensitive kitsune ears had picked up everything. "He told Rin to..."

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru was too caught up in his fun, and Inuyasha in his frustration, for either of them to notice anyone else's actions.

Author's Notes: Ah, but I am so evil for leaving it off there...