Fire and Ice
Little Voices
By the Empress of the Eclipse

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.

Matt ran and ran, pushing though undergrowth and zigzagging though the trees until he finally couldn't run anymore. He collapsed to the ground, hunching up into a tight little ball, shaking and sobbing.
They all knew. They all knew his secret. That he was gay and that he loved Tai, that he'd kissed Tai, been responsible for Kari's injuries and made Tai hate him. And now they'd all hate him too, hate him like Tai did. Why had Tai told everybody? Why couldn't they see that it didn't change anything? Why couldn't Tai still be his friend? Why did this have to happen to him? He hadn't meant to fall in love with Tai, it had just developed, developed out of their close friendship. And it had taken so long to get up the courage to tell Tai and then he'd blown it, blown it and destroyed everything....
Matt continued to sob bitterly until a sound jerked him into a more wary state of mind. There was something in the bushes, watching him.
"Who's there?" he asked, scrambling to his feet, wiping away the tears on his face.
There was no answer. Matt suddenly realised that the place was silent, eerily so. Something was very wrong.
"Who's there?" he demanded again "Show yourself!"
He fleetingly wished Gabumon was with him but he'd left him behind when he'd run. He glanced round for a weapon in case he needed one. There was a large stick nearby and Matt edged nearer to it.
"Show yourself!" he shouted again.
"No need to be quite so hostile," a voice said lightly.
Matt whirled round. A pretty, slender woman was watching him. She was partly concealed behind some bushes and Matt could only see her top half. She had long dark hair and eyes with very pale skin. Matt knew that if he was straight, he'd be drooling. As it was, he couldn't helping thinking she was attractive.
"Who are you?" he asked.
The woman smiled.
"More to the point, who are you?" she said.
"Matt," Matt said.
"Matt," she repeated "A strange name."
"You know my name," Matt said "What's yours?"
"I'm Helmon," the woman said, stepping out from behind the bushes. Matt gulped back a terrified scream. Her lower half was....rotten. Decaying. Matt could still see bits of flesh hanging off only it was grey-green and there were maggots crawling though it....
Matt gagged, struggling not be sick. He couldn't stop himself backing off. Helmon laughed scornfully.
"Oh stop it," she said "I'm not that repulsive."
Matt tried to stop himself shaking as she took another step towards him. What did she call repulsive? He could see her toe bones....
"What kind of Digimon are you?" he asked, forcing his voice not to shake.
"I'm not a Digimon," Helmon said "Or rather, I am, but not exactly. I'm made of Digital data now that I've entered this world but I am not originally a Digimon."
"Then....what are you?"
"I?" Helmon said "I am a God!"
She laughed and Matt found himself pressing against a tree. He was terrified.
"A God?" he repeated.
Helmon nodded.
"A lesser one but a God all the same," she said "Haven't you heard of me? I'm disappointed!"
Matt swallowed painfully.
"What do you want with the Digital World?" he asked.
Helmon sighed.
"It's quite simple really," she said "People no longer worship us in our own world. When no one believes in you, your power goes. We wanted power again. Then Bartlebimon discovered a way to open a gateway though to this Digital World. So now we are here. And we rule it."
Matt shook his head.
"We'll fight you," he said "You may be some dumb God but we'll fight you. We'll stop you."
"We?" Helmon said "Who is this 'we'?"
"Me and the other Digidestined!" Matt said.
"Other Digidestined?" Helmon mused "I don't see any other Digidestined."
"They'll be here soon," Matt said, a stab of doubt striking him.
"What makes you think that?" Helmon asked "Why should they follow you?"
"Because we're friends....." Matt said, his voice trailing off uncertainly as he thought of pervious events.
"Are you?" Helmon said. She stared coolly at Matt, her eyes glittering.
"Yes...." Matt said.
His voice was sounding more and more uncertain every moment. Helmon smiled.
"They aren't your friends Matt," she said "You know that. They know about you. They think you're disgusting, that you're weak and pathetic. No one loves you, no one wants you. You're nothing to them!"
Matt shuddered. She was voicing the thoughts that he'd been suffering only a little while before and it hurt.
"That's not true," he said "It's not true. You don't know what you're talking about."
Helmon laughed again. She walked over to where Matt was standing.
"Isn't it?" she said "Really? See it Matt. Feel it!"
She pressed a finger against Matt's forehead, her long fingernail cutting his skin, drawing a trickle of blood. Matt felt a jolt go though him. Then Helmon stepped back, smiling. Matt suddenly felt an explosion of pain behind his eyes, driving him to his knees with a cry. Helmon laughed mockingly.
Then Matt was swamped with the worst feeling he'd ever suffered in all his life. Waves of pain and misery swept though him. Everything bad that had ever happened to him was in his mind, growing like seeds, reminding him.
His parents divorce. Hardly ever seeing TK. His confusion as he realised that he liked other boys rather than girls. His growing feelings for Tai and fear that Tai could never like him back. And Tai's now hate of him. These and a hundred other things were going though his mind. And all the time, digging in like daggers, were voices, telling him that he was no good, that he was disgusting, a perverted freak.
Tai's anger, his friends shocked faces.
'You're foul and unnatural.....'
'You're a disgusting, perverted freak....'
"No!" Matt cried pleadingly "Stop! Please stop! Leave me alone!"
But the voices wouldn't leave him alone. He couldn't see anymore, his head hurt, hurt so badly that he couldn't see anymore, couldn't hear anything except the cruel voices, saying over and over that he was worthless, dirty, bad. He was why his parents had split up, they hadn't wanted him, no one wanted him. He was useless, stupid, foul. He had to stop them, had to stop the voices....
Matt clawed frantically at the sides of his head until blood was flowing but it wasn't helping. The voices were getting louder, taunting him, mocking him. Over the voices he could hear Helmon laughing faintly but it didn't mean anything, not anymore. The only things that meant anything were the voices.
'You're worthless, you've never been any good, you've just got in the way....'
'What good have you ever been? You just hurt your friends, you can't do anything right....'
'You're a disgusting, perverted freak!'
No matter what the others voices told him, Tai's was always back sooner or later, his face floating accusingly in front of Matt's eyes, mocking him.
"STOP!" he screamed "STOP! PLEASE!"
Trying to get Tai's accusing, angry face away, he started tearing at his face again, ripping at it with his fingernails, scrabbling at his eyes, trying to remove the face, the voices.....
But they wouldn't go. They wouldn't listen. Matt doubled over, gasping and sobbing, pleading for the voices to leave him alone. He couldn't be that bad, he couldn't be....
'You know you are' he heard Tai's voice whisper in his mind "You know you are Matt. You're unnatural Matt, you're wrong. You know it's all true, it's all true....'
"No!" Matt cried pitifully "Tai, no! Please!"
'You know I'm right' Tai's voice whispered goadingly 'You know the truth Matt.'
The other voices came back then, pulsing and ripping though Matt's head. He couldn't think anymore, couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. All there was were the voices, the voices echoing round his head.
"TAICHI!" he screamed with his last remaining bit of strength.
The last thing he heard before cool, blissful darkness swept over him was Tai's voice whispering 'Freak....'

The End of Part 4
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