CONKERS SCALE ENCOUNTER
By Ra 88
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Conker. Rare does. Only the dragon dude Tekna is mine.
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CHAPTER 1: ENTER THE DRAGON
Conker is sitting in his favourite and only bar, the Cock and Plucket. He drinks a big bottle of beer, and hick-ups. He sighs, and takes of his crown. ,,Stupid *** thing. It's complete useless without Berri as a queen. That stupid weasel and that arsed Alien, Heinrich. Whose fucking idea was it anyway to take a movie monster to an idiotic, stupid, no-good-for-nothing game? Ah, those bloody ******!!!!" He tosses it away, and mumbles: ,,Ah, I'm not a great king after all…we're just the richest country with land-wide peace and harmony and the biggest army and lots of love. " ,,Wow, you have a lot of trouble, Conker. Then I suppose you don't want to hear that the Feral Bank is being robbed by a dragon." Says the bartender, while washing the dishes. Conker looks up, and he asks: ,,A dragon that robs a bank? Well, there's a new one." ,,Yeah. Well, maybe not yet, but last night there was a hooded guy who was completely drunk. He talk about robbing the bank today at ten with some kind of giant, well-armored, supercharged robotic suite with an attitude. When he exited I followed him, and he was hurling. He pulled of his hood and I saw his dragon head. A real creap. It was like a horned crocodile with spikes as ears, and those golden eyes…" ,,A golden, horny dragon?" ,,No, King Conker, a horned dragon with golden eyes." ,,That was what I said, a horny dragon." ,,I give up. You're too drunk. Just take this machinegun, shoot that weasel that doesn't wants to pay, then take this effervescent tablet and scram to that **** bank, you stupid, little *********************!!!" ,,Alrightiedido." Says Conker in a drunk mood. He grabs the machinegun and walks to the weasel. ,,Hee, king, wazzup?" ,,This, dirty weasel!" Says Conker, and he starts spreading bullets. The gun goes click, and he watches the weasel who has been turned into mincemeat. ,,Well, bye!" Says Conker happily, while he grabs the tablet and walks away. But in the bar, the bartender cries sad, because Conker has not only hit the weasel, but every bottle too…
The weasels stand up with their machineguns, and Rodent stands near Conker. ,,Everything's ready, C-Conker!!!" ,,Right, general! Let that Technodragon come!!!" Then, the door slids open. In walks a man in a hood, his face hidden by darkness. ,,Identify yourself!" Says the weasel commander. They hear a disturbed laugh, and the man says: ,,Alright." Then, he throws away his hood, but before they can see his face, he pulls out a giant 25 mm cannon from his pants and starts firing at the weasels at the front. The most of them are killed within a second, but the others quickly duck away. ,,Wow!!! There's a lot of space into those pants, hiding such big fuckin' cannons!" Conker says admiring, and then he locks at the guy. He notices that he wears the same clothing that Berri wore, but this one has also bullet holes. The globes are ripped and out of them sticks claws, and he has the head of a dark lizard, with 2 horns on his ears, which can hardly be seen. ,,I always thought Dragons looked different." The dragon sighs, and he says: ,,Come on. You really thought that we could fly and breath fire? No, thanks. I prefer technology. But, if you really want to have a fair fight…then PULL OUT YOUR SWORD!!!" He throws away the Vulcan cannon, and stands in a fighting pose. Conker pulls out his katana, and makes some impressive karatemoves. Then he strikes the dragon, but the blade just splinters. ,,O boy. Can it get any worse?" The dragon puts on sunglasses, a gas mask and then pulls out a huge lightsaber. Then he throws a gas grenade, and the entrance hall is filled with gas. ,,I just had to ask!" Says Conker annoyed, but then he nearly got sliced by the lightsaber. Conker quickly touches the lamp above his head and puts on a gas mask, and then he touches it again for a lightsaber. The dragon walks towards him, while saying: ,,You can't deny your destiny, Conker! Now, enter the code or prepare to be sliced!" ,,O, now THAT'S original!!!" Says Conker taunting, and he fights with the dragon. Conker jumps over him, but the dragon slices the end of Conker's tail. ,,HOT!!! HOT!!!" Conker blows over his burning tail, and he puts away his lightsaber in exchange for a rocketlauncher. The dragon leaps towards him, but Conker just fires it, and a rocket looks around, and then rams the dragon, who is immediately thrown trough the door. ,,Well, that's the end of that. I'm great!" But then, the floor starts to rumble, and trough the roof crashes a black robotic suit with a long helmet, jetpacks on the back and huge arms and huge claws. In it's right claw, he holds Gregg the Grim Reaper. The darkened helmet opens, and Conker can see the dragon's face. ,,Nice try, Conker. But Techno Dragons have also tails!" ,,Oh, crap." Says Conker, and he quickly dodges Gregg who has been thrown away. ,,ENTER THE CODE, CONKER!!!" Yells the dragon, and he hits a pillar, who crashes down to the ground. ,,Now what makes you think, if you can think with those peanut brains lizards have, that I know the code?" ,,1: you're the king. And 2: Berri told me." Conker looks shocked, bet then he says angrily: ,,Not funny." ,,Who says that I'm joking?" Conker gets really angry now, and he fires his rocketlauncher. The dragon isn't knocked over though, and he just laughs. ,,Do you call THAT a weapon? Here, I'll show you weapons!!!" The claws of the robotic suit fall of, and out of them come 2 barrels of Vulcan cannons. From his arms claps open hatches, and out of them come SAM- sites, from his middle comes 2 lasercannons and from his hips flamethrowers. ,,Oh, you just GOT to be kidding me!!!" Conker says scared, and he quickly runs away to dodge a laserbeam. The dragon laughs, and from inside his cockpit he uses a target screen to aim for Conker. Then he smiles, and says: ,,Hasta la vista, bloody squirrel." From his back comes a gigantic rocketlauncher. Then it fires a rocket which is as big as the robot itself. Conker runs towards the vault, but the rocket hits him and the entire hall is blown op. ,,Gotcha." The Robot Dragon walks towards the vault and jumps out of his suit. He enters a code, but he gets electrified instead. ,,Blast it. She has given the wrong code. Well, at least I've got rid of that squirrel. I just go back to my safeplace in the boiler room near Bats Tower and teach that bitch a lesson that she won't forget." He jumps in his suit, and flies away, crashing trough the roof.
,,Uh, my head. What has happened?" Conker looks around, and sees a destroyed hallway. ,,Conker, are you alright?" Asks Rodent worried, but Gregg says angry: ,,Of course he's alright! Those bloody tail things! They are just as annoying as those **** cats!!!" ,,Not for me, they are. But I wonder what that dragon meant by Berri…" Conker wonders. Rodent thinks, and he says: ,,Yeah, you're right. Gregg, you're the Grim Reaper, right? Do you know if Berries sole is in the Afterlife?" ,,Sorry, classified information." Gregg looks annoyed at Rodent. ,,Grim Reaper, please say it. Is Berri alive or dead?" Conker gives him big puppy dog eyes, and Gregg sighs. ,,Alright, mate, I'll tell ya. She is alive. Chipmunks maybe don't have tails, but they have something else: tongues." ,,And I thought tails with extra lives were weird." Says Conker, but then he looks happy. ,,Um…Conker?" Asks Rodent, and then Conker yells happily. ,,YES!!! SHE'S ALIVE!!! WHOOO-HOOO!!! I can have an other change! YES!!!!" ,,STOP!!!! Didn't you hear what that dragon said? He said that Berri told him that you knew the entrance code. And that she has given a security code. Conker, sorry that I say this, but Berri is now working with him." Conker looks angry at Gregg, and he threatens: ,,She is not working with him, Gregg. And if you say something bad about her again, I'll strangle you and kick you back to hell!" ,,O, well. Love makes blind. See ya, Conker." With that, Gregg disappeared. ,,Conker, that dragon said that he would go back to his hide- out in the boiler room of the underwater tunnels near Bat's Tower. How about going to that place?" ,,Well, we can try it. Get my grapplinghook and machineguns. We're going in." ,,Yes, Sir!!" Says Rodent, and he salutes.
Rodent, a weasel guard in CIA clothing and a pistol and Conker in stealth clothing stand before the vault. ,,Do you know the combination?" Asks the weasel guard, but Conker shakes his head. ,,No, those bloody catfish didn't let me near it. Classified information. I need to think about this one." Conker sits before the vault, and then a lamp appears above his head. ,,Eureka!! I've got it!" He pulls out some dynamite, and Rodent asks: ,,Where do you get all those stuff from?" ,,Don't you know that? B-Zones, but they are also known as Context Sensitive. They can items appear wich you need at that current place and time. They are a great help. To use them, Birdy the Scarecrow must show it to you. Now, stand back!" Conker plugs it in, and they al duck away behind a rock. Then Conker pulls out a plunger and presses it. A loud noise is heard, and the door of the vault is open. They ran into it, but only to discover that it's been protected by lasers. ,,Ah, gimme a break!!!" Says Conker, but then another B- lamp appears. He pulls a pile of sticking mirrors out, and throws it to the generators of the lasers. They deflect each other, and then they disappear. ,,Come on!!" Yells Conker, and he pulls out a crossbow with the grappling hook attached. He aims it for the big, round iron door, and fires it. The claw sticks in a hole, and they go over the water. Conker opens the door, and they walk to the boiler room. ,,Oh, my, god." Rodent says scared. The entire boiler room has turned into some kind of weapons room. In the room where the beer was stands now the robotic suit, and every where are closets with weapons and battle fatigues. In the middle of the room there's a large table with a computer and a hologram display. And in the right corner, near the entrance, there is a torturing room. ,,Wow, does this guy has an army or is he fond of fucking supercharged weapons?" Says Conker surprised. ,,This could be the beginning of a revolt." Says the weasel, but then they hear footsteps. ,,Quick, hide!!!" Says Conker, and they quickly duck behind the Robotic Suit. ,,I'm sorry, Tekna. But I was SURE that was the right code!!!" Conker looks to the dragon, and he says: ,,At least now I know my enemies name…Tekna, huh…what fucking stupid…but that other voice sounds so familiar…" Then Tekna turns around, and in walks…Berri in her Matrix clothing!!! Conker wants to jump to her, but Rodent stops him. ,,Conker, does she looks like she is a prisoner?" Rodent says, and Conker admits that this is strange. ,,Oh, well, better luck next time. I just need to place my super- ultra- mega- deluxe- supercharged- superderduper heat laser, and that safe is history! And next time YOU come with me, understood?" ,,Yes, Tekna huney." Se says annoyed, but Conker is ready to jump out of his skin. ,,Why that *****, no good for nothing *****!!! I will teach that bastard a lesson that he never forgets!!!" He pulls out his machineguns, but once again Rodent stops him. ,,Don't act like that, missy! Don't forget that I was the one that saved you from space and operated you to remove those bullets! That miserable king knew that the Mob Boss was about to kill you, but he only get distracted by the Panther King! And when you was shot and thrown into space, it was Conker who forgot to bring you back! Remember?" ,,Yeah…I can't believed I loved him and trusted him. He was always so kind to me…and that mission was fun too." She says sad, and a tear runs over her face. Conker is starting to cry too. ,,But, like, why do you want to rob that bank? Like, you don'' have enough place in that tin- can." ,,Wrong, Berri. I don't want the money. The professor has hide some mutation gen in there that kan make you a cyber beast. And if I mixture that with the Tedyz and make them cyborgs…I will have an ultimate army to conquer Conk, just like my mentor the Weasel Professor wanted it!!!" ,,Damn, don't say that he had an student! And to make matters worse, his student is a DRAGON!!!" Tekna looks towards his suit, and from his suit he grabs a remote. He activates something, and the suit moves away. But they quickly run with it. ,,Hm. Must be my imagination. Oh, well." Says Tekna, and he moves it back. Conker, the weasel and Rodent quickly run with it. ,,So, what's the plan, mad professor?" Asks Berri. Tenka laughs soft, and he says: ,,Easy. You're gonna pay him a visit. I already know what will happen. I already confused him, so when he sees you, he will do anything. And if he doesn't…well, you know." Berri nods, and she grabs a REALLY big machine gun, with telescope and an aiming laser. ,,Yeah. Then I will, like, pay him back." Tekna laughs, and he throws away his raincoat and his shirt. But he hasn't got a normal upperbody, no. It's almost like a scaly army, with little horns on his shoulders and elbows. Then the top of the backside of his pants slid away, and a long, wip-like tail slings out. ,,Ah, much better. It really hurt to had it in my pants." ,,Yeah, well, wont you mind to do that when I'm not around?" ,,Yes, I would mind, stupid chipmunk. I still can't believe your romance…a chipmunk and a squirrel…" Tenka laughs, but Berri says: ,,Oh? And how about this: a chipmunk and a dragon who is supposed to be instinct? So don't get near me, got it?" Tenka ignores her, and he grabs with his tail a disc from his pants. ,,On this little beauty stands all of mine plans. I'm going out without the robot, so guard it with your life." Says Tenka, and he puts it on the holographic table. Berri nods, and Tenka goes away. ,,We need to get that disc!!!" Says Conker, but the weasel says shocked: ,,But how? It's an impossible mission." ,,Hey, Conker, look over here. A ventilation shaft. And I think it ends above that table. If we could distract Berri…" ,,Say, what did you say about a impossible mission?" Says Conker, with a big smile on his face.
CHAPTER 2: MISSION: POSSIBLE
Conker crawls through the shaft, until he reaches the end. He removes it, and waits till Rodent starts the diversionary move. Berri walks through the room, but then Rodent comes rolling down the entrance. ,,Yeh, I knew the other shaft leaded to the entrance." Says Conker. Berri pulls out her double machineguns, and Rodent says: ,,Oh, where am I now? Crap, I really thought that was the door to the harbour. But now I rolled down that pad, crashing trough the door and ended up here. Oh, well. At least this armour worked." ,,Like, who are you, wise guy?" Berri asks, and Rodent says: ,,Private Rodent, at your service. I needed to go to the harbour and go in a line with the others. But I thought the river was a shortcut." ,,Well, I will lead you out, but only for 2 minutes. Understood?" ,,Yes, Ma'am! Thank you very much!" Says Rodent, and he salutes. Berri looks annoyed, and she says: ,,Yeah, whatever. Come on."
They walk away, and Conker quickly gives the rope to the weasel behind him. Then he adjust it to his belt, and goes down the rope to the console. ,,Easy does it, easy does it…" Says the weasel, while Conker is going down. He wants to grab it, but then he sees lasers around it. ,,Ah, crap." Conker grabs mirrors from his belt, and places them. The lasers disappears, and he goes further down. Then he can grab it, but he slides quickly to the ground. The weasel grabs the rope, and next to his head is a dead little fire imp. He pulls the rope up, and Conker grabs the disk. But then he hears someone coming. He puts it down and grabs the mirrors, and the weasel pulls the rope up. Conker hangs above the table, but out of sight. Berri leans towards the table, and she says: ,,I will go to sleep. This is boring to hell." Then she lies on the chair, and she closes her eyes. -This is my change.- Conker thinks, and he goes down. But then, a sweat drip falls of his face. Conker quickly catches it, and he goes down again. He places the mirrors and grabs the disc. ,,Gotcha." He says happily, but to loud. Berri looks at him, and Conker says: ,,Hello, honey." Berri wants to grab her guns, but she is knocked out by a pipe that hits her head. Rodent stands there shaking, and he says: ,,I think it's time to leave." Conker nods, and he cuts the rope. The weasel slides down the rope, and they run to the exit. Within no time at all, they have reached the exit of the vault. ,,GO, GO, GO!!!" Yells Conker, but then Tekna steps trough the door. ,,Well, well, well…Conker the King. Sorry, but you won't leave today. I want to introduce you to a friend of mine." He grabs a capsule, and presses a big red button on the wall. Then, the floor slides open, and he throws the capsule into the water. ,,It may not be mutant gen, but it is good." Then, the water takes shape of a human body, and inside appears a steel skeleton with laser eyes. ,,O, shit." Rodent says, and Tekna runs past them, laughing. They want to pursue him, but the vault closes. ,,*****!" The Weasel says, put they need to dodge the laser eyes. Conker look around, and sees a B- Zone near a corner. ,,Now, that gives me an idea." Conker jumps on it, and he grabs a mirror. ,,This is it? O, don't say…" But then, the robot is charging again, and Conker holds the mirror before him. The laser hits the robot instead, and he's shutdown for a minute. Conker quickly walks to a B- Zone before the robot, and he presses it. He grabs a lamp, and throws it into the water. The robot gets fried, but then he attacks again, but this time with his hands. Conker stands before a pipe, and the robot crushes it while trying to hit Conker. Oil slicks on the robot's waterskin, and Conker says: ,,Of course! Oil is lighter then water, and it flows on water! And seeing it's extremely burnable…" Conker smiles, and he jumps on the B- Zone. He grabs a flamethrower, and fires it on the robot, and his water vaporise. The robot crashes on the ground, and Conker smashes its head with a frying pan. The robot tries to stand up, but he explodes instead. ,,Come on!!! This place is gonna blow!!!" Yells the weasel, and they quickly jump out of the vault and into the water. Then a avalanche closes the entrance with fallen rocks. ,,Well, I would like to see Tekna get into that." Says Rodent happily, but Conker looks sad. ,,Berri…why? I loved you…" A tear dropped into the water.
CHAPTER 3: THE ASSASIN
Conker sits drunk on his throne. On the table stands a bottle of beer, with 2 glasses, both empty. The weasel soldiers are worried, and they say: ,,Come on, Conker. You must organise a defence. If Rodent's right, Berri will kill you if you don't give the code." ,,Ah, I don't care a crap. I've lost her, and she follows that slicked reptile now. I will kill that lizard, even if I need to blast him until all of his lives are over! " Conker spins with his head, and then falls asleep. ,,It's no use. Come on. We can better help Rodent tracking down the Weasel Mob boss, Eal Wapone." Says the fat one, and they walk away. But when they exit, a shadow sneaks in trough the window. The shadow grabs a gun, and only the light from the NVG are seen. Conker opens his eye, and smiles. Conker thinks with a smile on his face. The shadow comes closer, closer, closer…until it's only a meter away from Conker. The shadow tries to get closer, but then Conker grabs two Uzi's and starts shooting, while yelling: ,,DIE, YOU MOTHERBUZZER!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!! STINKBREATH!!!" The shadow tries it best to dodge the bullets, but the bullets get closer every second. Then the light goes on, and the shadow ducks away behind a pillar. ,,COME ON OUT, FREAKSHOW!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING!!! I GOT YOU'RE DISC!!!" The shadow wants to move again, but then a ting is heard. ,,SUCKER!!! You've stepped on a mine! And don't try anything funny with you're tail, because only I can shut those off." Conker walks towards the mine, and he sees a character in black stealth- clothing with a hood and a NVG. Conker pulls it of, but he sees Berri's face instead of Tenka's face. ,,Fancy meeting you here, you son of a bitch." ,,Nice to see you again , only I hoped it was without guns and peacefully." Says Conker. Berri looks angry, and she says: ,,Shut up, Conker! I hate you! You had a chance to rescue me, but you didn't do it! I know you worked together with the Panther King!" ,,HELLO!!! He wanted me as a fourth table leg for his milk table! And how was I supposed to know what would happen? I didn't knew that the mob boss worked for that **** of a king! Thank god that he's dead, although I needed to get rid of a alien after that. And how do you know about all this?" ,,Tenka told me!" ,,And he was there, right? And how do you know that? He couldn't get unseen out of that spaceship!" ,,HE WAS OUTSIDE, IN HIS ROBOT SUIT!" Berri shouts. Conker sighs, and then he says: ,,Outside, huh? Listen, Berri. Listen good. The professor created the Tediz so that he could conquer Conk, but that dragon is a maniac! He doesn't wants to conquer this land, he wants to destroy it with those Mutants! After that, he will turn every survivor into a dragon, and will continue until every living creature is a dragon! I read it on his disc! He's a **** madman!" Berri looks shocked, and Conker deactivates the mine. ,,We will never love each other again, but I will say farewell to you now and I will say this: I will never give the code for the vault, and you two will never get trough. I guarantee that." Conker walks back to his throne, but then the wall explodes. Berri jumps trough this, and trough the window he can see Berri disappear on the back of Tenka's robotic suit. ,,Farewell, Berri…"
That was the end of the first chapters! Hope ya enjoyed it! And if ya don't, you can walk to hell, ya bloody ********!
By Ra 88
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Conker. Rare does. Only the dragon dude Tekna is mine.
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CHAPTER 1: ENTER THE DRAGON
Conker is sitting in his favourite and only bar, the Cock and Plucket. He drinks a big bottle of beer, and hick-ups. He sighs, and takes of his crown. ,,Stupid *** thing. It's complete useless without Berri as a queen. That stupid weasel and that arsed Alien, Heinrich. Whose fucking idea was it anyway to take a movie monster to an idiotic, stupid, no-good-for-nothing game? Ah, those bloody ******!!!!" He tosses it away, and mumbles: ,,Ah, I'm not a great king after all…we're just the richest country with land-wide peace and harmony and the biggest army and lots of love. " ,,Wow, you have a lot of trouble, Conker. Then I suppose you don't want to hear that the Feral Bank is being robbed by a dragon." Says the bartender, while washing the dishes. Conker looks up, and he asks: ,,A dragon that robs a bank? Well, there's a new one." ,,Yeah. Well, maybe not yet, but last night there was a hooded guy who was completely drunk. He talk about robbing the bank today at ten with some kind of giant, well-armored, supercharged robotic suite with an attitude. When he exited I followed him, and he was hurling. He pulled of his hood and I saw his dragon head. A real creap. It was like a horned crocodile with spikes as ears, and those golden eyes…" ,,A golden, horny dragon?" ,,No, King Conker, a horned dragon with golden eyes." ,,That was what I said, a horny dragon." ,,I give up. You're too drunk. Just take this machinegun, shoot that weasel that doesn't wants to pay, then take this effervescent tablet and scram to that **** bank, you stupid, little *********************!!!" ,,Alrightiedido." Says Conker in a drunk mood. He grabs the machinegun and walks to the weasel. ,,Hee, king, wazzup?" ,,This, dirty weasel!" Says Conker, and he starts spreading bullets. The gun goes click, and he watches the weasel who has been turned into mincemeat. ,,Well, bye!" Says Conker happily, while he grabs the tablet and walks away. But in the bar, the bartender cries sad, because Conker has not only hit the weasel, but every bottle too…
The weasels stand up with their machineguns, and Rodent stands near Conker. ,,Everything's ready, C-Conker!!!" ,,Right, general! Let that Technodragon come!!!" Then, the door slids open. In walks a man in a hood, his face hidden by darkness. ,,Identify yourself!" Says the weasel commander. They hear a disturbed laugh, and the man says: ,,Alright." Then, he throws away his hood, but before they can see his face, he pulls out a giant 25 mm cannon from his pants and starts firing at the weasels at the front. The most of them are killed within a second, but the others quickly duck away. ,,Wow!!! There's a lot of space into those pants, hiding such big fuckin' cannons!" Conker says admiring, and then he locks at the guy. He notices that he wears the same clothing that Berri wore, but this one has also bullet holes. The globes are ripped and out of them sticks claws, and he has the head of a dark lizard, with 2 horns on his ears, which can hardly be seen. ,,I always thought Dragons looked different." The dragon sighs, and he says: ,,Come on. You really thought that we could fly and breath fire? No, thanks. I prefer technology. But, if you really want to have a fair fight…then PULL OUT YOUR SWORD!!!" He throws away the Vulcan cannon, and stands in a fighting pose. Conker pulls out his katana, and makes some impressive karatemoves. Then he strikes the dragon, but the blade just splinters. ,,O boy. Can it get any worse?" The dragon puts on sunglasses, a gas mask and then pulls out a huge lightsaber. Then he throws a gas grenade, and the entrance hall is filled with gas. ,,I just had to ask!" Says Conker annoyed, but then he nearly got sliced by the lightsaber. Conker quickly touches the lamp above his head and puts on a gas mask, and then he touches it again for a lightsaber. The dragon walks towards him, while saying: ,,You can't deny your destiny, Conker! Now, enter the code or prepare to be sliced!" ,,O, now THAT'S original!!!" Says Conker taunting, and he fights with the dragon. Conker jumps over him, but the dragon slices the end of Conker's tail. ,,HOT!!! HOT!!!" Conker blows over his burning tail, and he puts away his lightsaber in exchange for a rocketlauncher. The dragon leaps towards him, but Conker just fires it, and a rocket looks around, and then rams the dragon, who is immediately thrown trough the door. ,,Well, that's the end of that. I'm great!" But then, the floor starts to rumble, and trough the roof crashes a black robotic suit with a long helmet, jetpacks on the back and huge arms and huge claws. In it's right claw, he holds Gregg the Grim Reaper. The darkened helmet opens, and Conker can see the dragon's face. ,,Nice try, Conker. But Techno Dragons have also tails!" ,,Oh, crap." Says Conker, and he quickly dodges Gregg who has been thrown away. ,,ENTER THE CODE, CONKER!!!" Yells the dragon, and he hits a pillar, who crashes down to the ground. ,,Now what makes you think, if you can think with those peanut brains lizards have, that I know the code?" ,,1: you're the king. And 2: Berri told me." Conker looks shocked, bet then he says angrily: ,,Not funny." ,,Who says that I'm joking?" Conker gets really angry now, and he fires his rocketlauncher. The dragon isn't knocked over though, and he just laughs. ,,Do you call THAT a weapon? Here, I'll show you weapons!!!" The claws of the robotic suit fall of, and out of them come 2 barrels of Vulcan cannons. From his arms claps open hatches, and out of them come SAM- sites, from his middle comes 2 lasercannons and from his hips flamethrowers. ,,Oh, you just GOT to be kidding me!!!" Conker says scared, and he quickly runs away to dodge a laserbeam. The dragon laughs, and from inside his cockpit he uses a target screen to aim for Conker. Then he smiles, and says: ,,Hasta la vista, bloody squirrel." From his back comes a gigantic rocketlauncher. Then it fires a rocket which is as big as the robot itself. Conker runs towards the vault, but the rocket hits him and the entire hall is blown op. ,,Gotcha." The Robot Dragon walks towards the vault and jumps out of his suit. He enters a code, but he gets electrified instead. ,,Blast it. She has given the wrong code. Well, at least I've got rid of that squirrel. I just go back to my safeplace in the boiler room near Bats Tower and teach that bitch a lesson that she won't forget." He jumps in his suit, and flies away, crashing trough the roof.
,,Uh, my head. What has happened?" Conker looks around, and sees a destroyed hallway. ,,Conker, are you alright?" Asks Rodent worried, but Gregg says angry: ,,Of course he's alright! Those bloody tail things! They are just as annoying as those **** cats!!!" ,,Not for me, they are. But I wonder what that dragon meant by Berri…" Conker wonders. Rodent thinks, and he says: ,,Yeah, you're right. Gregg, you're the Grim Reaper, right? Do you know if Berries sole is in the Afterlife?" ,,Sorry, classified information." Gregg looks annoyed at Rodent. ,,Grim Reaper, please say it. Is Berri alive or dead?" Conker gives him big puppy dog eyes, and Gregg sighs. ,,Alright, mate, I'll tell ya. She is alive. Chipmunks maybe don't have tails, but they have something else: tongues." ,,And I thought tails with extra lives were weird." Says Conker, but then he looks happy. ,,Um…Conker?" Asks Rodent, and then Conker yells happily. ,,YES!!! SHE'S ALIVE!!! WHOOO-HOOO!!! I can have an other change! YES!!!!" ,,STOP!!!! Didn't you hear what that dragon said? He said that Berri told him that you knew the entrance code. And that she has given a security code. Conker, sorry that I say this, but Berri is now working with him." Conker looks angry at Gregg, and he threatens: ,,She is not working with him, Gregg. And if you say something bad about her again, I'll strangle you and kick you back to hell!" ,,O, well. Love makes blind. See ya, Conker." With that, Gregg disappeared. ,,Conker, that dragon said that he would go back to his hide- out in the boiler room of the underwater tunnels near Bat's Tower. How about going to that place?" ,,Well, we can try it. Get my grapplinghook and machineguns. We're going in." ,,Yes, Sir!!" Says Rodent, and he salutes.
Rodent, a weasel guard in CIA clothing and a pistol and Conker in stealth clothing stand before the vault. ,,Do you know the combination?" Asks the weasel guard, but Conker shakes his head. ,,No, those bloody catfish didn't let me near it. Classified information. I need to think about this one." Conker sits before the vault, and then a lamp appears above his head. ,,Eureka!! I've got it!" He pulls out some dynamite, and Rodent asks: ,,Where do you get all those stuff from?" ,,Don't you know that? B-Zones, but they are also known as Context Sensitive. They can items appear wich you need at that current place and time. They are a great help. To use them, Birdy the Scarecrow must show it to you. Now, stand back!" Conker plugs it in, and they al duck away behind a rock. Then Conker pulls out a plunger and presses it. A loud noise is heard, and the door of the vault is open. They ran into it, but only to discover that it's been protected by lasers. ,,Ah, gimme a break!!!" Says Conker, but then another B- lamp appears. He pulls a pile of sticking mirrors out, and throws it to the generators of the lasers. They deflect each other, and then they disappear. ,,Come on!!" Yells Conker, and he pulls out a crossbow with the grappling hook attached. He aims it for the big, round iron door, and fires it. The claw sticks in a hole, and they go over the water. Conker opens the door, and they walk to the boiler room. ,,Oh, my, god." Rodent says scared. The entire boiler room has turned into some kind of weapons room. In the room where the beer was stands now the robotic suit, and every where are closets with weapons and battle fatigues. In the middle of the room there's a large table with a computer and a hologram display. And in the right corner, near the entrance, there is a torturing room. ,,Wow, does this guy has an army or is he fond of fucking supercharged weapons?" Says Conker surprised. ,,This could be the beginning of a revolt." Says the weasel, but then they hear footsteps. ,,Quick, hide!!!" Says Conker, and they quickly duck behind the Robotic Suit. ,,I'm sorry, Tekna. But I was SURE that was the right code!!!" Conker looks to the dragon, and he says: ,,At least now I know my enemies name…Tekna, huh…what fucking stupid…but that other voice sounds so familiar…" Then Tekna turns around, and in walks…Berri in her Matrix clothing!!! Conker wants to jump to her, but Rodent stops him. ,,Conker, does she looks like she is a prisoner?" Rodent says, and Conker admits that this is strange. ,,Oh, well, better luck next time. I just need to place my super- ultra- mega- deluxe- supercharged- superderduper heat laser, and that safe is history! And next time YOU come with me, understood?" ,,Yes, Tekna huney." Se says annoyed, but Conker is ready to jump out of his skin. ,,Why that *****, no good for nothing *****!!! I will teach that bastard a lesson that he never forgets!!!" He pulls out his machineguns, but once again Rodent stops him. ,,Don't act like that, missy! Don't forget that I was the one that saved you from space and operated you to remove those bullets! That miserable king knew that the Mob Boss was about to kill you, but he only get distracted by the Panther King! And when you was shot and thrown into space, it was Conker who forgot to bring you back! Remember?" ,,Yeah…I can't believed I loved him and trusted him. He was always so kind to me…and that mission was fun too." She says sad, and a tear runs over her face. Conker is starting to cry too. ,,But, like, why do you want to rob that bank? Like, you don'' have enough place in that tin- can." ,,Wrong, Berri. I don't want the money. The professor has hide some mutation gen in there that kan make you a cyber beast. And if I mixture that with the Tedyz and make them cyborgs…I will have an ultimate army to conquer Conk, just like my mentor the Weasel Professor wanted it!!!" ,,Damn, don't say that he had an student! And to make matters worse, his student is a DRAGON!!!" Tekna looks towards his suit, and from his suit he grabs a remote. He activates something, and the suit moves away. But they quickly run with it. ,,Hm. Must be my imagination. Oh, well." Says Tekna, and he moves it back. Conker, the weasel and Rodent quickly run with it. ,,So, what's the plan, mad professor?" Asks Berri. Tenka laughs soft, and he says: ,,Easy. You're gonna pay him a visit. I already know what will happen. I already confused him, so when he sees you, he will do anything. And if he doesn't…well, you know." Berri nods, and she grabs a REALLY big machine gun, with telescope and an aiming laser. ,,Yeah. Then I will, like, pay him back." Tekna laughs, and he throws away his raincoat and his shirt. But he hasn't got a normal upperbody, no. It's almost like a scaly army, with little horns on his shoulders and elbows. Then the top of the backside of his pants slid away, and a long, wip-like tail slings out. ,,Ah, much better. It really hurt to had it in my pants." ,,Yeah, well, wont you mind to do that when I'm not around?" ,,Yes, I would mind, stupid chipmunk. I still can't believe your romance…a chipmunk and a squirrel…" Tenka laughs, but Berri says: ,,Oh? And how about this: a chipmunk and a dragon who is supposed to be instinct? So don't get near me, got it?" Tenka ignores her, and he grabs with his tail a disc from his pants. ,,On this little beauty stands all of mine plans. I'm going out without the robot, so guard it with your life." Says Tenka, and he puts it on the holographic table. Berri nods, and Tenka goes away. ,,We need to get that disc!!!" Says Conker, but the weasel says shocked: ,,But how? It's an impossible mission." ,,Hey, Conker, look over here. A ventilation shaft. And I think it ends above that table. If we could distract Berri…" ,,Say, what did you say about a impossible mission?" Says Conker, with a big smile on his face.
CHAPTER 2: MISSION: POSSIBLE
Conker crawls through the shaft, until he reaches the end. He removes it, and waits till Rodent starts the diversionary move. Berri walks through the room, but then Rodent comes rolling down the entrance. ,,Yeh, I knew the other shaft leaded to the entrance." Says Conker. Berri pulls out her double machineguns, and Rodent says: ,,Oh, where am I now? Crap, I really thought that was the door to the harbour. But now I rolled down that pad, crashing trough the door and ended up here. Oh, well. At least this armour worked." ,,Like, who are you, wise guy?" Berri asks, and Rodent says: ,,Private Rodent, at your service. I needed to go to the harbour and go in a line with the others. But I thought the river was a shortcut." ,,Well, I will lead you out, but only for 2 minutes. Understood?" ,,Yes, Ma'am! Thank you very much!" Says Rodent, and he salutes. Berri looks annoyed, and she says: ,,Yeah, whatever. Come on."
They walk away, and Conker quickly gives the rope to the weasel behind him. Then he adjust it to his belt, and goes down the rope to the console. ,,Easy does it, easy does it…" Says the weasel, while Conker is going down. He wants to grab it, but then he sees lasers around it. ,,Ah, crap." Conker grabs mirrors from his belt, and places them. The lasers disappears, and he goes further down. Then he can grab it, but he slides quickly to the ground. The weasel grabs the rope, and next to his head is a dead little fire imp. He pulls the rope up, and Conker grabs the disk. But then he hears someone coming. He puts it down and grabs the mirrors, and the weasel pulls the rope up. Conker hangs above the table, but out of sight. Berri leans towards the table, and she says: ,,I will go to sleep. This is boring to hell." Then she lies on the chair, and she closes her eyes. -This is my change.- Conker thinks, and he goes down. But then, a sweat drip falls of his face. Conker quickly catches it, and he goes down again. He places the mirrors and grabs the disc. ,,Gotcha." He says happily, but to loud. Berri looks at him, and Conker says: ,,Hello, honey." Berri wants to grab her guns, but she is knocked out by a pipe that hits her head. Rodent stands there shaking, and he says: ,,I think it's time to leave." Conker nods, and he cuts the rope. The weasel slides down the rope, and they run to the exit. Within no time at all, they have reached the exit of the vault. ,,GO, GO, GO!!!" Yells Conker, but then Tekna steps trough the door. ,,Well, well, well…Conker the King. Sorry, but you won't leave today. I want to introduce you to a friend of mine." He grabs a capsule, and presses a big red button on the wall. Then, the floor slides open, and he throws the capsule into the water. ,,It may not be mutant gen, but it is good." Then, the water takes shape of a human body, and inside appears a steel skeleton with laser eyes. ,,O, shit." Rodent says, and Tekna runs past them, laughing. They want to pursue him, but the vault closes. ,,*****!" The Weasel says, put they need to dodge the laser eyes. Conker look around, and sees a B- Zone near a corner. ,,Now, that gives me an idea." Conker jumps on it, and he grabs a mirror. ,,This is it? O, don't say…" But then, the robot is charging again, and Conker holds the mirror before him. The laser hits the robot instead, and he's shutdown for a minute. Conker quickly walks to a B- Zone before the robot, and he presses it. He grabs a lamp, and throws it into the water. The robot gets fried, but then he attacks again, but this time with his hands. Conker stands before a pipe, and the robot crushes it while trying to hit Conker. Oil slicks on the robot's waterskin, and Conker says: ,,Of course! Oil is lighter then water, and it flows on water! And seeing it's extremely burnable…" Conker smiles, and he jumps on the B- Zone. He grabs a flamethrower, and fires it on the robot, and his water vaporise. The robot crashes on the ground, and Conker smashes its head with a frying pan. The robot tries to stand up, but he explodes instead. ,,Come on!!! This place is gonna blow!!!" Yells the weasel, and they quickly jump out of the vault and into the water. Then a avalanche closes the entrance with fallen rocks. ,,Well, I would like to see Tekna get into that." Says Rodent happily, but Conker looks sad. ,,Berri…why? I loved you…" A tear dropped into the water.
CHAPTER 3: THE ASSASIN
Conker sits drunk on his throne. On the table stands a bottle of beer, with 2 glasses, both empty. The weasel soldiers are worried, and they say: ,,Come on, Conker. You must organise a defence. If Rodent's right, Berri will kill you if you don't give the code." ,,Ah, I don't care a crap. I've lost her, and she follows that slicked reptile now. I will kill that lizard, even if I need to blast him until all of his lives are over! " Conker spins with his head, and then falls asleep. ,,It's no use. Come on. We can better help Rodent tracking down the Weasel Mob boss, Eal Wapone." Says the fat one, and they walk away. But when they exit, a shadow sneaks in trough the window. The shadow grabs a gun, and only the light from the NVG are seen. Conker opens his eye, and smiles. Conker thinks with a smile on his face. The shadow comes closer, closer, closer…until it's only a meter away from Conker. The shadow tries to get closer, but then Conker grabs two Uzi's and starts shooting, while yelling: ,,DIE, YOU MOTHERBUZZER!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!! STINKBREATH!!!" The shadow tries it best to dodge the bullets, but the bullets get closer every second. Then the light goes on, and the shadow ducks away behind a pillar. ,,COME ON OUT, FREAKSHOW!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING!!! I GOT YOU'RE DISC!!!" The shadow wants to move again, but then a ting is heard. ,,SUCKER!!! You've stepped on a mine! And don't try anything funny with you're tail, because only I can shut those off." Conker walks towards the mine, and he sees a character in black stealth- clothing with a hood and a NVG. Conker pulls it of, but he sees Berri's face instead of Tenka's face. ,,Fancy meeting you here, you son of a bitch." ,,Nice to see you again , only I hoped it was without guns and peacefully." Says Conker. Berri looks angry, and she says: ,,Shut up, Conker! I hate you! You had a chance to rescue me, but you didn't do it! I know you worked together with the Panther King!" ,,HELLO!!! He wanted me as a fourth table leg for his milk table! And how was I supposed to know what would happen? I didn't knew that the mob boss worked for that **** of a king! Thank god that he's dead, although I needed to get rid of a alien after that. And how do you know about all this?" ,,Tenka told me!" ,,And he was there, right? And how do you know that? He couldn't get unseen out of that spaceship!" ,,HE WAS OUTSIDE, IN HIS ROBOT SUIT!" Berri shouts. Conker sighs, and then he says: ,,Outside, huh? Listen, Berri. Listen good. The professor created the Tediz so that he could conquer Conk, but that dragon is a maniac! He doesn't wants to conquer this land, he wants to destroy it with those Mutants! After that, he will turn every survivor into a dragon, and will continue until every living creature is a dragon! I read it on his disc! He's a **** madman!" Berri looks shocked, and Conker deactivates the mine. ,,We will never love each other again, but I will say farewell to you now and I will say this: I will never give the code for the vault, and you two will never get trough. I guarantee that." Conker walks back to his throne, but then the wall explodes. Berri jumps trough this, and trough the window he can see Berri disappear on the back of Tenka's robotic suit. ,,Farewell, Berri…"
That was the end of the first chapters! Hope ya enjoyed it! And if ya don't, you can walk to hell, ya bloody ********!
