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Xander stretched out the kinks in his system. Buffy's couch was definitely comfortable but that still didn't make it the greatest place to stay every night.


Placing his two hands at the small of his back right above the hips, he leaned back and a gentle popping noise filled the room, alleviating some of the pressure on his spine and producing a pleasured grunt to escape his lips.


After finishing his stretches and doing a few push-ups he went upstairs to the bathroom. Staying in a house with two young women had taught him to always get to the bathroom first. If only to avoid the sibling bickering and grumpiness. Especially from Buffy.


She just wasn't a morning person.


Looking in the vanity mirror he winced as he took in his own visage. "Howya doing Harris? Still with the nightmares I see," he told himself after admiring the extremely large bags under his eyes. Turning on the water he put in his hands under the facet and cupped them to grab some of it. Washing his face felt like washing his soul. As if he could wipe away the guilt and misery he felt by simply cleaning his face. He knew it wasn't that simple. Still the cleanliness allowed an illusion of such, so it made him feel better.


Denial can be an amazing thing.


After washing up he put on some clothes and prepared to go to his apartment. Although he had been there nearly everyday since losing Anya he simply couldn't bring himself to stay overnight there. He and Anya weren't exactly living together but he had bought it for her.


Staying overnight would bring him way too many memories.


Thankfully, a duo of mourning Summers women was kind enough to take him in. In fact they were more then happy to take him in. They both felt extremely guilty themselves for Anya dying. Buffy because she was the Slayer and Dawn because she was the Key.


Between the three of them they had enough guilt, regret and despair to fill a stadium. His days had been spent telling them both how he didn't blame either one of them.


He was distracted from putting a fresh shirt on by a yawn. His head turned to see the eldest of the Summers Sisters walking around in an overly long tee-shirt.


"Good Morning, Buffster." His head turned to the clock in the VCR. It was definitely way too early for Buffy to be awake. Especially on a Saturday.


With her mouth still slightly opened, Buffy returned the greeting.


"Why you up so early?" he asked.


"What? Can't a girl wake up at a time before Noon?"


Smiling he answered her. "It's 8:30. It's Summer. And you're Buffy. You waking up at this hour would involve an Apocalypse."


Giving him "the look" Buffy folded her arms defensively and spoke to him. "I wanted to see if I could find a job today, okay."


"You have a job. You know, Magic Box. Giles. Pays six dollars an hour."


"Well it's the six dollars that bother me. I want to see if I can get a job that pays a little more then that." She began filling the coffee container with water. "I still have a mortgage to pay."


Xander's face grew serious. "Oh my God I hadn't even thought of that. I just sorta assumed your mom owned this place."


"Yeah, me too. But the Bank had other ideas. Apparently they frown on giving stuff away. Bright side, though. They're willing to lower the mortgage rate since I'm so young. But it's still a little more then I can afford working at the Magic Box." She placed some grounds into the coffee machine and switched it on.


Xander suddenly felt like the biggest mooch in the world. He had an apartment that he could easily afford yet chose not to live in and then here was Buffy offering him a place to stay even though she couldn't afford it herself.


"Geez Buff. I had no idea."


"Don't worry about it."


"Does Dawn know?"


She looked down to the floor and lowered her voice. "I uhh, didn't want to worry her. I figured I could be all Covert Girl and get this done without her finding out."


"She'll resent that you know. You should tell her. Even if she can't do anything she has every right to be as worried as you do. Remember how much she hated you keeping the "key" thing a secret."


"Hey I had my reasons," Buffy said defensively.


"That's true. But she still took it badly. The last thing you wanna do right now is risk the trust you've been earning back from her."


Buffy couldn't help but think he might be right. Maybe she should tell her. "Xander I… I don't know."


"Well I think I do. You're her sister not her Mom. You should tell her these things."


Buffy leaned her back against the kitchen counter debating to herself whether or not she should tell Dawn about the mortgage. She had to agree that Xander had some really good points. Looking at Xander she came to a conclusion.


"You know… You're right."


Xander gave Buffy a smile of encouragement. "Good. Tell you what. You wake up Dawn and fill her in while I go to my apartment and get a shower. When I come back I'll personally take you to the unemployment office. But I gotta say that the pickings are pretty slim for someone with only a high school diploma." His smile helped her realize that she had made the right choice.


"Thanks Xand-Man."



~~~~~~***~~~~~~



As I get into my car I can't help but feel that I have to do something to help Buffy. Before I lost Anya, I promised Buffy that whatever she did she would have my support. That's a promise I fully intend to keep.


I just never imagined that the support would be financial.


Well I guess I could get rid of my apartment and move in somewhere else. Which is something I've been thinking of doing anyway. I could move into a smaller apartment or even my parents again.


On second thought, I'd rather slam my manhood in a sliding glass door repeatedly then go back with my folks. Those people are just scary.


Okay, so new apartment it is. Preferably something just above hole-in-the-wall status. I'll grab a newspaper after I shower and pour through the classifieds. Hopefully something will come up.


Two important people in my life need help. I fully plan on giving it to them.



~~~~~~***~~~~~~



Dawn awoke to the sound of a gentle knocking on her door. Mumbling something that would have made her mother punish her for a week she turned to the clock next to her bed.


After seeing the time she cursed again. There was no way she was going to wake up at this ungodly hour. "Go away! Dawn go sleepy now!" she huffed loudly into her pillow.


"Dawn, wake up or you'll miss seeing Xander naked." Her eyes flung open immediately. She had to be kidding. Xander wouldn't really be naked in her house? Would he? No, he wouldn't. And there was no way Buffy would tell her that, even if he was. But could she take that chance?


No. No she couldn't.


She bolted to the door and flung it open to find her sister smirking. "It was a trick!" she mentally screamed at herself.


Dawn quickly flung the door in her sister's face. "Very mature, Buffy."


It was opened a second later by her very amused older sister. "Good morning to you too, Dawn," she said sarcastically.


"I never should have admitted to you I had a crush on Xander. You keep using it against me."


Buffy laughed and then asked her sister, "I thought you were over your crush."


"Well I'm not writing 'Mrs. Dawn Harris' in my notebook anymore, but that doesn't mean I still don't think he's a hottie."


Buffy's face grew an overly theatric look of disgust. "Do me a favor Dawn. Never refer to Xander as a hottie in my presence again. The imagery is just disturbing."


"You're just mad you missed your chance. As soon as he's over Anya I'm going to be eighteen so watch it, Slayer. You just may be talking about my future beau." The two sisters started laughing. It had taken them a long time to get back to this. The bantering that hinted at their real feelings for each other. All the drama and tragedy they had been constantly bombarded with, had left them no choice but to rebuild slowly.


Xander had been right. Buffy wouldn't want to risk this for any type of "protecting" that would have been resented anyway. This was just far too precious.


Buffy put on her best 'trying-to-act-like-mom' face. "Dawn. We have a problem that you should know about." Dawn's smiling stops and she makes herself appear as serious as possible.


She's seen that look on her sister before.


Buffy took a long composing breath. "When Mom died she hadn't finished paying the mortgage on the house. I'm afraid we still owe the bank some money." Dawn looked absolutely shocked. "The bank is willing to lower the mortgage rate but it's still a little more then I can afford just yet, so I'm going to get a better paying job" Buffy smiled weakly, hoping her sister wouldn't simply collapse from mental overload.


Dawn didn't collapse; but she did, however, visually slump. "Out of everything that I was worried could happen, I hadn't even factored in that we still had to pay for this place."


"I'm afraid so."


"Could Dad maybe chip in."


"Maybe. If I could get a hold of him. Remember, Dad's last known whereabouts included Spain and Italy. He still doesn't know about Mom. But we're still getting the alimony checks so, that'll help."


Dawn interlaced her fingers, which was an indication that she was thinking. "What if Giles gave you a raise."


Well there was an idea. But still… "No. I mean I just started working there to fill in for Anya since she… You know." It was still a hard subject to talk about for either one of them. "I just don't think it would be right. I mean… I'm nowhere near as good as she was with the shop. Why should I make more money then her."


"I see what you mean. It does seem wrong when you put it like that… Okay so that's out." She gets an excited look in her face. "Ohh, ohh, I could work at the shop. I could get one of those guardian permission work slips and work after school. I mean I go there everyday anyway. I might as well get paid."


The look in Buffy's face clearly tells Dawn that her idea is going to be vetoed. "Your priority is school. You couldn't focus if you were working at the shop."


Not wanting to give up on her idea yet, Dawn continues. "No listen, I could do my work at the shop. I mean it doesn't get busy till after school anyway. Which is when I'd have to work. And seeing your point," she admitted defeatedly. "Okay. I'm out of ideas, now."


"It's okay Dawn. I wasn't expecting you to solve our problems, I just wanted you to know."


Dawn's eyes open wide. The word "Eureka" is clearly plastered in her face. "What if we charged Xander rent?"


"What?"


"Xander could move in. He's still too hurt to go back to his apartment anyway. So we move him in here and get him to contribute to the mortgage."


"Dawn… Xander's a grown up… I cannot believe I just said that… He's not going to want to live with us for that long. This is strictly a temporary thing till he feels ready to move on. And besides, I'd feel horrible charging him rent."


"You're just going to toss out all of my ideas aren't you."



~~~~~~***~~~~~~



Three minutes. I've been staring at the door to my apartment for three minutes.


Every time I come back here I hesitate to go inside. The first time I waited half an hour. Thirty minutes of just staring at the door to the apartment that had been a symbol of my salvation.


When I moved in, it was at a time when I couldn't had been happier. I had a beautiful woman, who I thought the world of, practically begging to be a part of my life. I had just recently discovered that even at my worst I'm not half the loser that I sometimes let other people make me think I am. My job had turned into an actual career. And I was finally leaving behind the pain and abuse I wallowed in for nineteen years behind me for good.


Unfortunately, the higher up you go the more painful the fall when you come crashing down.


And boy did I come crashing down.


Okay I shouldn't dwell. I need to open this door and go inside to get changed. I've done this before. The hardest was the first time. That's behind me. I can get this done.


My breath gets caught in my throat as I reach for the doorknob. Geez, You'd think I was expecting my arm to melt off the second I touch this thing!


Breathe, Dammit!


Now!


My keys fall into the keyhole with the same familiarity I always recognize when I open the door. Amazing how I can actually feel the slots of the ridges of my key fit into the tumblers. I turn my keys and push my hand against the door and it squeaks the way it always does when it's opened.


Nothing unusual. I can do this again.


I step inside and feel the oppression in the air. It makes me want to crawl on my hands and knees back to that damn basement. I know bad feelings can't hurt me physically, but if they could I would have died every time I walked in here. I hate coming here that much.


I strip my clothes the second I close the door. I don't plan on staying here any longer then I have to. I jump into the shower and immediately turn it on. Normally I would have let it get warm before letting the spray hit me but now the thought of cold water doesn't bother me.


A little physical discomfort would be worth it if I could get out of this place faster.


I finish my shower in record time. Lathering. Shampooing. Basically doing all the things I would do anyway just a whole lot faster. I don't enjoy showers the way I used to.


"I hate this place!" There I said it. Out loud, too.


After getting some clothes together, I bolt for the door as fast as I can.


I lock the door and run back to my car.



~~~~~~***~~~~~~



"Dawn, I said 'No!' We are not charging Xander rent."


"Why not."


"Because it's wrong. We owe him. How could we charge someone for grieving."


"The funeral parlor did. Not to mention the people at the Graveyard. Besides I don't want to charge him for grieving… just have him pitch in. You know he would if we asked him."


"That's not the point. Mom could afford this place, so can I," Buffy said while folding her arms.


"So that's it. Your pride. You just don't want to ask anyone for help." The look on Dawn's face made Buffy cringe because she was dead on. She didn't want to ask for help. "Buffy… Mom would want you to get help if you needed it. You know that."


Buffy's face drops toward the floor. "I know. It's just… I don't feel like we should ask Xander of all people for help. He just suddenly had the promise of the normal life I've always dreamed of, taken away from him. And I can't help but feel responsible for it. If I hadn't ever allowed him to get involved with the slaying then…"


"Then he would have died a long time ago. Buffy even if there was no Slayer and he knew about Vampires and Demons, he'd still be out there making a difference. That's the kind of guy he is."


Buffy smiled. "That does sound like Xander."


"See? I don't pick my obses- I mean crushes lightly."


A huge smirk grew on Buffy's face as she said, "Do I even have to mention Spike?"


"That is SO below the belt!"



~~~~~~***~~~~~~



Xander parked his car in front of the no-name convenience store that sat next to the grungy, beaten-up Sunny Dale Motel. He'd hoped to be able to grab his newspaper and get out in record time, but as he was stepping out of his car he heard a commotion coming from the check-in of the motel. The commotion was further worsened by a baby crying. Feeling curious he decided to get a little closer to see what was going on.


From his vantage point, outside of the motel, he saw the clerk and a fairly attractive woman with dark hair holding a crying baby in her arms. The ensuing conversation was loud and clear.


"Please Mr. Griswold, just give me a few more days. I'll have time to get a job and then I'll pay you slowly."


"Miss… I simply don't care. In this town, you learn to never trust anyone. So tell me why I should think you're an exception." Xander wanted very badly to punch his lights out.


"Please!" Her voice was so desperate. So needing. "If not for me then for my baby," she pleaded. "We have nowhere else to go." Mr. Griswold did not look impressed when he pointed his finger towards the door.


Wanting to help but figuring it to be none of his business he decided to just leave. He went into the convenience store, paid for his newspaper and began walking towards his car.


That's when he heard the heard two distinctive voices doing something that broke his heart. It was a baby and a grown woman. And they were both crying.


As he walked to the alley next to the convenience store he saw them huddled next to the wall.


"Umm… Excuse me Miss?"





******To*Be*Continued******

Hello ladies and germs that includes Chapter 1. The actual chapter 1 was more of a prologue so that's why it was so short. I had originally planned on making this part longer but my demons told me to post and I've learned to just do what they say when the say it. There's less bleeding that way. Any and all feedback will not only be appreciated but treated like golden treasure. I hope to have the next part soon and I must say that the first few parts will be mostly character building because I'm a patient guy… I just hope that you as my audience can forgive me that and trust me the dark place that Xander fell into is so going to be a big part of this story.

Thank you