Okay, here's part 4. The first version of it got deleted (mutters a few choice words) so it's not how it really was, but I hope you all like it. And yeah, a line like that was used in Buffy. But I didn't completely copy it so yeah…okay I'm done now…..



It's all such a blur. I remember that they came and looked her over, and placed her in a black body bag. I can't feel Max's arms around me anymore. I'm too numb. A man tries to explain what happened but the words blur into "She," "alcohol," and "pills." I choke back a sob and nod. The man apologizes for my loss and leaves. I see it. In a moment of clarity, I look at my future. My grandmother will move in and take care of me. Worse, I'd live with her and grandpa. No. I want to lay down and die.

It's my fault, I realize. If I hadn't pushed her away last night she might still be alive… You think you know…who you are, what's to come, you haven't even begun. I get that quote now. I thought I knew everything and now reality has devoured me.

"Liz?"

I look up into Max's concerned eyes, "Everything's gonna be okay," He tells me calmly. I sigh deeply. I wish I could believe him.

"Max, can I just call you later. I'd like to be alone right now." As I see the hurt and disappointment flash in his eyes I kick myself mentally. I really don't want him to go. I want him to hold me and protect me forever.

"I'll talk to you later then," He walks out, pausing at the door briefly then shuts it behind him. I lay down on the couch and cry until sleep claims me.

I'm walking through a field of wildflowers and calling for my mother. I look at my clothing, a white cotton sundress and then I feel my hair, pulled into a French twist with a few ringlets hanging down. I smile faintly.

"Liz…" I hear her voice and I spin around, dropping a basket of wild flowers I didn't even realize I was carrying.

"Mom?"

"It's me."

I can't seem to talk. Then I look at her and raise an eyebrow. Something's not right here. I slowly look under the brim of the straw hat she's wearing and gasp. Her lips are stitched shut and her once blue eyes are black.

"Why?" I'm shaking.

"Did you honestly think that I was going to stick around and take care of you worthless corpse anymore?"

"Mommy, why are you saying these things?"

I'm a little girl again and in the kitchen. Dad's at the kitchen table reading the paper and Mom's cooking breakfast.

"Honey are you okay?" she kneels down beside me.

"Don't you love me anymore?" I'm screaming now, a few tears falling.

"Awww, of course I do Lizzie," she wipes my tears.

"I love you too mommy!" I close my eyes and throw my arms around her neck, but when I open my eyes I'm not little anymore.

I'm dressed in black and it's pouring down rain, soaking me to the bone as I stand over a grave. I slowly look up to see the tombstone. It's my mothers'.

"Oh god," I choke back a sob.

"Liz…" I listen closer, "Aren't you going to help me Liz? Aren't you going to cry for me? It's so cold down here Liz, I'm so cold. Come join me dear." The voice sounds like the demons that used to haunt my dreams. Like the voice that used to sing me to sleep when I was little.

"No," but I can't move away.

"Come on dear, listen to your mother!" A hand shoots up from the ground, reaching for me and I scream.

I wake up, screaming. My eyes dart around the room and I hold my hands over my mouth. Taking deep breaths, I curl up into a ball and sob, ignoring my sweat drenched clothing. As I lay back down and shut my eyes, one name fills my mind….Max….



~Thanks for all the wonderful feedback!! Eden~