Slowly, I made the long walk home. I couldn't stop shaking and my stomach
was swarming with butterflies. God, how could I put myself in this
situation? How would I tell Pa? I had considered not telling him at all but
the principal assured me he would be calling the house tonight to see that
my parents had gotten the message.
Before I went back into our cottage, I made my way down to the sacred
Willow tree. So many times I had come here when I had any kind of feeling
to share. Somehow I believed that if I were to express myself at the Willow
tree then the whole world would know. And they would be able to know that I
was normal-I, Brooke Lynn Sweeny WAS normal.
"There's nothing wrong with me!" I shrieked at the Willow tree. Of
course, it didn't answers me. but this just revived my anger.
"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! IT'S THEM. ALL THEM! I HATE THEM!" I let out a
scream, it didn't sound like me, it sounded more animal-like. I ran up to
the Willow tree and started beating my fist into it. "I hate you to! You
stupid, silly, worthless tree!"
I was yelling at a tree, I had completely lost it. I kept banging on that
tree till the sides of my hands were swelled and bleeding. Stupid me,
stupid tree, stupid everything. stupid.
My hissy-fit was far from over though. I started stomping my feet on the
flowers that grew under the once-so-magical willow tree. I spun in circles
crying and yelling out. I fell down to the ground and started tugging at my
beautiful red hair. It had been something I was once so proud of, but now
nothing mattered.
"It's over! Urgh!" I yelled at the sky. "But you don't care, do you? DO
YOU? No, no, nobody cares! I got up from the ground and started running. I
knew where I was going. Finally I knew one thing that was certain in my
life. I was going to die today. But I wouldn't give Pa the divine pleasure
of being my murderer-I was going to do that. I was going to end my life. I
raced towards the swimming hole. When I was close enough I jumped up into
the air and hit the water with a giant splash.
This time I didn't frantically fling my arms and legs around. I didn't try
to make my way up to the surface. I just allowed myself to be taken down.
I'm sorry Josh, sorry that I gave up so easily. Sorry that by life never
even began before I took it away. Sorry, I disappointed everyone. But they
would get over it, they would. But, I'm just not as strong as you thought.
But, yet again I was proved wrong. As soon as I neared the bottom I
started to float back up to the surface. I didn't stop it. I just floated.
The water didn't even want me now. When I got to the top I made my way back
to ground.
Like someone in a state of daze I walked back home, dripping wet from head
to toe. I walked into our cottage and went straight to the bedroom I shared
with Daisy and Lily.
"What happened to you?" Daisy asked with a grimace.
"I got suspended from school for fighting." I said as if it were the most
obvious thing ever.
"You did what?" Lily exclaimed. Damn Lily, she was such a pest. "Pa is
going to get you."
"That's nice. Now why don't you get a life?" I replied sarcastically.
She didn't reply, she'd never do anything that would show how she really
felt. But this time it was for a different reason. I cautiously turned
around, to find our 6'5 father standing in our room. His face was red, full
of fury and his fist were clutched together.
"So, you don't learn from this morning child? You go off to school and
show your little snooty attitude? What is wrong with you, child?" He said
through his clenched teeth.
"MY NAME ISN"T CHILD!" I screamed and because I couldn't think of anything
to call him I made a jet for the door.
