Joey and Tristan had meanwhile unearthed their treasure and were examining it. Kaiba noticed them hunched over something and sauntered over to investigate. Tristan held his cupped hands away from the other's blue eyes. "Mine."
"Hey! Mine too!" Joey protested. Kaiba clambered onto the mattress. "What is it?"
Tristan relented and held out his hands. Kaiba stared. "Where'd you get that!?"
Joey shrugged. "Under da bed."
"Are there more?"
"I don't know!"
Kaiba hung over the edge of the bed while Joey and Tristan continued to ogle their prize. "Hey, I found one!"
"Greeaaaat, dustbunnies..." Tea commented, neatly pinned Yugi on his back and retrieved the remote. Yugi squealed. Rustling wrappers and munching from the other bed made them both stop and look. "You guys have food?" Tea demanded. Joey, Tristan, and Kaiba shook their heads but said nothing. Joey held out his hands. They were empty. Yugi did a double-take. "Guys! That's horrible!"
Tea caught on. "Ewww! That's just gross."
Tristan looked aggrieved. "We're hungry!"
"Yeah! And dey were wrapped!"
"Do you have any idea how long those things were under there?" Yugi's completely disgusted expression made everyone giggle, until they looked to see an identical expression on Yami's face. "Don't you have higher standards than that?"
"And your idea of gourmet is what...grilled desert monitor?" Kaiba sneered at the Ancient One. Yami's eyes narrowed. Tristan's eyes rolled. "Don't even start it, you two. I'm sure our food will be here soon."
Kaiba smirked and snatched the remote from the other bed. Tea leaped on him, while Yugi sighed in relief. "Hey, it's KidsWB!"
"Are we on?"
"I dunno...commercial break."
"Oh look, the Hooked On Phonics commerical again!"
Joey leered at the kid on the screen. "I'll bet he can't really read a twenty-four chapter.................................................book."
Everyone snickered. "Joey, you've been watching this channel for far too long."
"I think by da time he finally gets to da word 'book,' da commercial should be over!"
"I agree."
"I don't even think they should run that commercial. It's so old, that kid is probably in college by now."
Kaiba snorted "Not if he can still only read a twenty-four chapter............................."
"BOOK!" Tristan and Joey finished the dialogue. The others cracked up.
A knock on the door silenced everyone. "Hey, guys? Anyone here?" Came a soft, slightly accented voice. Tea ran over and undid the latch. "Hey Bakura! We're watching today's episode of Yu-Gi-Oh!"
"Great! I brought food!" The ice-blond held up four sacks with golden arches emblazoned on the sides. "I won a bet from The Dark Magician actor-guy, so now I've got funds."
"What bet?" Joey's gangster-side couldn't help but surface.
"He bet me eighty dollars that I couldn't prove I was straight."
Yugi sighed painfully. "When will they ever leave you alone?"
"And you won?"
Bakura sent Kaiba a withering glance. "I'm short about twenty of it now, being as I was nice enough to buy everyone food and all..."
"FOOD!" Tristan propped himself up on the bed. "I smell hamburgers...fries..." He sniffed again, "And a cherry pie!"
"Seven cherry pies, actually. I assume you and Joey want Big Macs?"
The boys in question nodded emphatically and received their sandwiches. Bakura tossed Yami another sack, the contents of which he split with Tea and his smaller self. Kaiba attacked a grilled chicken sandwich, before peering strangely over at Bakura. "How did you know Big Yugi'd be here?"
The angelic teenager smiled mysteriously. "Isn't he always?"
Yugi bit into a cheeseburger as he punched a button on the phone. "Is this room service? How's the order coming for room 21?"
The man on the other end seemed confused. "Room 21 doesn't have a pending order..."
Yugi muttered something about drug usage by the desk clerks. "Okay, well, if one should happen to surface, cancel it?"
"Yes sir."
"Thank you." He turned back to the television. "Finally, Scooby Doo is over!"
"You don't like him?"
"Who does?" Yugi ducked to avoid a whap from Tea. Yami nodded sagely. "There is no reason for a talking dog."
"Yeah, and the man with the magical necklace should talk because...?"
"Kaiba, you're going to regret that one."
"Magical talking necklace." Yugi added helpfully.
Yami snorted. "Prerecorded 'strong voice' calling out to you from your Millenium Puzzle again?"
"Yeah...maybe there's a tape recorder in there?"
"Maybe it was implanted in your skull." Kaiba smiled irritatingly.
"Quiet everyone! It's starting!"
They all crowded onto beds and chairs and watched the introduction. Kaiba, squeezed in next to Tea momentarily, pointed to the image of himself and Yami falling into a dark vortex. "I sprained my shoulder that time."
"Why don't dey give us stunt doubles?"
"Since when do card players need stunt doubles?"
"Still..."
"Shh!" Tea loved to watch the character bits. Her image flashed by, looking perfect, righteous and just. "Thank heavens for good makeup artists."
Kaiba's image just looked angry as hell. "Why do I have to wear those contacts? It makes me look like I have no soul."
"No comment." Tristan flashed an innocent smile. Joey snickered. Tea reached over and whapped Tristan's head, flattening his carefully arranged hair. Tristan moaned and ran into the bathroom while Joey continued to snicker without remorse.
"My favorite episode!" Yugi bounced the springs, earning himself a sharp nudge from Bakura.
"It's only your favorite episode because you got more screen time than me." Yami looked smug. "Unusual."
"You got no screen time, if I'm not mistaken." Yugi's eyes narrowed. Bakura nudged him again.
"Got no?" Kaiba smirked.
"Shut up!" Now Tea whapped Kaiba. He tried to ignore her. Don't hit girls...don't hit girls...
Joey started singing. "I cain't get no....I cain't GET no....sat-is-fac-tion!"
Tristan raced out of the bathroom and slapped a hand over Joey's mouth before he could massacre more of the song.
"Tristan. You look...normal..." Tea stared. You frankly look hot...
Tristan's eyebrows shot up. "All I did was wet it down and put my bandanna on..."
"It seems to work."
"Now if only we could convince Joey to wash his..."
Joey shrugged out of Tristan's grip and leapt for Kaiba with a scream. "It's GEL!"
