Bakura grabbed the blond's shoulders and used the momentum of the mattress-bounce to shoot him back toward the other bed.  Joey thumped onto his backside and stared at the seemingly fragile white-haired boy.

Kaiba smirked.  Again.

"I hope your face freezes dat way."

"And all the fangirls will drop at your feet."  Tea smiled, cleverly disguising her sarcasm.  Heaven knew she thought the smirk was irritating.  Kaiba took her comment at face value.  "Thanks.  You think they like it?"

Joey winked at Tea and gave her a thumbs-up that Kaiba didn't catch.  Tea grinned back at him.  Now, if Joey wasn't such an stubborn, risk-taking maniac, I could really go for him...nah.  High-maitenance. 

(*Authoress whacks Tea* Now, enough of that...*sweetly*)

Joey's attention was drawn back to the screen.  "Hey look...it's me!"

"Yeah.  Being the usual pain-in-the-neck."

"Pain in da face for you."

Tristan shook his head.  "They cut that, remember?  Because you can't punch."

"It was a censor issue!"  Yugi interrupted the argument.  Joey smirked.  "Yeah.  Because I don't pull punches."

"Yes."  Yami took Joey's side.  "As I recall, Tristan had a rather large black eye after that."

Yugi gave up in disgust.

Tristan mumbled something under his breath.  Joey caught it and snickered.  "Ooh, dere's da Flame Swordsman!  My little brother wants to be him for Halloween."

Tea swooned.  "He is so cute in real life!"

The boys rolled their eyes and ignored her.  "Da Swordsman...or my brother?"  Joey obligingly whipped a picture of the chubby toddler out of his wallet and passed it around.  "He was da little me for da battle with da Paradox Brothers."

"Oh yeah...!  That was your brother?"  Kaiba actually looked slightly interested as he inched forward out of the tangle of people on the bed to place the photo in Joey's outstretched hand.

"Yup."  Another knock on the door got everyone's attention.  Tea leaped up to answer it.  "Mai?"

"Sure thing, kiddo.  I heard the noise from next door and thought I'd join the party."  The blond woman was still spectacular, even in a pair of blue plaid flannel shorts and a faded tee shirt emblazoned with the Gundam Wing crew.  Tristan and Joey couldn't help but notice.  And Mai couldn't help but notice Tristan's normal hair.  She wedged herself between the two friends, as Tea curled up next to Yugi.  Yami reached into the bag on his lap and pulled out a leftover cherry pie, which Mai happily accepted.  "What are you kiddies up to, anyway?" she asked between swallows.

"Watching television.  We're too tired to do anything else."
"Yeah...dis on-location stuff is for da birds."

"You have to admit that the castle is cool."

"Downright drafty, I think."  Bakura shivered.

"Not that kind of cool!" Sheesh, Brits… "Yes, it's nice, but I'm sick of hotels."  Kaiba folded his arms under his head and stared listlessly up at the ceiling.  "And I'm not too fond of the castle's owner, either."

"But we've never met him..." Yugi tried to be the voice of reason in what was turning out to be a rampant bash-fest.

"Not the real owner, you idiot!  The guy who plays Pegasus."  Seto retorted.

Yugi uncharacteristically bristled.  "I'm not an idiot!"  Yami had an identical expression.  Joey looked from one to the other.  He was constantly amused by those two.

Kaiba waved a hand lazily.  "Of course not, Yugi.  Moving on...I don't like him either.  I personally think he's an arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic..."

"We are talking about Pegasus here...right?"  Joey snorted and shot a glance at Tristan, who had spoken.  Yami unhinged enough to snicker maliciously.  Kaiba looked disgruntled.  "Don't think I don't know what you were talking about."

"I'm sure you didn't."

Yami snickered some more, joined this time by Yami.

"There's a lot more to me than any of you know."

(*Authoress listens to the Seto Kaiba fangirls wildly applauding*  ^^)

Tristan smirked.  "Some things we'd rather not know about." 

(Yay! Tristan growing a personality!)

Bakura felt the need to interrupt.  "Are we going to finish watching the show...or not?"  Mai nodded.  "Joey, you should be proud of this one.  Though I have to say that Rex really gives me the creeps."  There was a round of nods in agreement to the blond woman's statement.  Tristan subtley shifted closer, and Mai didn't move away.  Joey simply shot them a warning look and started untying his shoelaces.

(He's not yaoi.  Just already taken. *proud smile*)

Yugi stared at Joey's shoes with naked envy.  "How'd you convince the prop department to let you have those?"  Yami nodded, with a slightly miffed frown.  "I can't figure out why they see the need to put me in pajamas. Why must my pants and my boots be all one piece?"

"It looks dramatic.  Seamless image."

"And I hate the buckles on this shirt."  Yami fiddled with one of the buckles and started undoing it.  Yugi tossed him an old, battered sleeveless shirt from the bag next to the bed, and the pharaoh went to the bathroom to change.  Mai gave them all curious looks.  "Why haven't any of you changed out of the character clothes?"

Kaiba shrugged.  "It makes us easier for the audience to identify."

"What audience?"

Kaiba pointed toward the person currently reading the fanfiction.  "Them."

(*catching falling items as the Fourth Wall shakes and threatens to bring the entire place down around her ears*)

Everyone looked...followed by a variety of ear-shattering screams.  Yami poked his spiky head out of the bathroom.  "What?"

Whatever Kaiba had been pointing at vanished.  Yugi and Tea wore identical shocked expressions, while Mai used the terror as an excuse to snuggle closer to Tristan.  Joey...interested.  Kaiba...impassive.

"What?"  Yami asked again.

No answer.  Everyone was still staring out the window.

"WHAT?"

Joey gazed calmly over his shoulder at Yami.  "Giant people.  Nothing that hasn't happened before.  Remember Bakura's game in the shadow realm?"

Looks of realization dawned over worried faces.  Bakura protested.  "That wasn't me...I swear!"

"We're getting mixed up again.  That was all in front of a green screen."

"No it wasn't!"

"Yes, it was!"

Joey and Tristan glowered at each other over the top of Mai's head.  The blond woman simply took another bite of her rapidly vanishing cherry pie and said nothing, engrossed in the show.  "Tristan, you really need to talk to the makeup department."

A sigh.  "The hair again?"

Mai shook her head.  "No...the fake tan...your skin is an off color in this one...maybe it's the inking department."

(*Fourth Wall shakes violently again...terrorizing the authoress and her muses, who scatter, gathering injured plot bunnies*  One more comment like that and it'll be curtains for all of us! *whacks the giant viewing screen*  Cut it out you lot!)

"The what?"  Everyone pretended that they had no idea what Mai was talking about.  Tristan nodded.  "Those cameras need replacing or something."

"Yeah, ever since Kaiba broke 'em all!"

"What was that, dog?"

Tristan dropped a hand on Joey's shoulder, and the dark blond decided not to retaliate.

"Oooooh...look!  There's the time wizard!"

"My favorite part."  Joey paid no more attention to Kaiba--who looked disappointed.  The blond teen's fists doubled over as he watched the Time Roulette spin.  "Come on...come on....GO THOUSAN' DRAGON!"
"Joey, you already know the end of the show."

"I can't help it."

"Competetive nature."  Mai smiled mysteriously at Joey, while Tristan looked confused, then pissed.

(Who says they never did...?  I'm just being nice to Tristan today. ^^)

Bakura sighed and changed the subject.  "Ever since the game in the Shadow Realm, I've apparently been relegated to cheerleader duty."  Tea shook her head and pointed at Tristan.  "Look at him, he's never even had his own episode!  The rest of us have had at least one!"

"That's because he has the personality of an overripe mango."  Kaiba volunteered, "How can you build an episode around someone with all the charm of rotten fruit?"

Now it was Joey's turn to drop a hand on Tristan's shoulder.  "Easy buddy.  Look at it 'dis way...at least he didn't call you a dog."

"No.  That's your special nickname."  Tristan, still pissed, gritted his teeth and glared at Kaiba.

"Enough!"  Everyone turned to stare at Yugi, who was kneeling on the bed just beyond Bakura--eyes red and feral.  His fists were clenched, teeth gritted.  "NO MORE FIGHTING!  I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  YOU PETTY LOSERS--"  *poink*

Yugi flinched and wavered.  Then, as the rest watched in seemingly slow motion, his eyes rolled up into his head and he fell backward on the mattress, unconscious.  Yami held up another mummified gummi bear, and smiled at everyone.  "He'll be fine.  Pass the fries?"