I Am The Very Model Of A Child Paranormalist
Here is Dib's rebuttal to 'I Am The Very Model Of An Elite Irken Invader'. Let's hope I don't go crazy and write something like 'I Am The Very Model of a Minor Background Character' now.
Dib is surrounded by a chorus of Swollen Eyeball agents. As the music begins, he steps forward.
Dib: I am the very model of a child paranormalist.
On subjects mysterious there is not a whole lot I have missed!
I look all over for Bigfoot, the Chupacabra, and Nessie
And do not shrink in fear when the search gets a little bit messy.
And I can quickly tell when something paranormal is at hand
Due to the knowledge of the paranormal which I can command.
I've learned about weird creatures as well as their checkered histories
By memorizing episodes of Mysterious Mysteries!
Swollen Eyeballs: By memorizing episodes of Mysterious Mysteries!
By memorizing episodes of Mysterious Mysteries!
By memorizing episodes of Mysterious Myster-ister-ies!
Dib: I know a lot about these things; my knowledge is both deep and vast
And I can tell you everything about a monster really fast.
And so I hope I can assume that everybody gets my gist;
I am the very model of a child paranormalist!
SE: And so he hopes he can assume that everybody gets his gist;
He is the very model of a child paranormalist!
I also am adept at keeping the alien threat at bay;
No alien can conquer Earth as long as I am in the way!
I easily track Zim down with plenty of cleverness and stealth
And thereby I learn several new tidbits about alien health.
Once I have done my spying and have this knowledge firmly in place,
I'll use it against Zim and thus save the entire human race!
So I will win and we will see that I am superior when...
Zim: I use my brilliant mind to defeat the Dib creature once again!
SE: Zim uses his great mind to defeat the Dib creature once again!
Zim uses his great mind to defeat the Dib creature once again!
Zim uses his great mind to defeat the Dib creature once a, once again!
Dib glares at the SE, who give an embarassed shrug.
Dib: Though Zim may sometimes dream that planetary conquest is his fate,
I'll counter him at each attempt he makes before it is too late!
And so I hope I can assume that everybody gets my gist;
I am the very model of a child paranormalist!
SE: And so he hopes he can assume that everybody gets his gist;
He is the very model of a child paranormalist!
Dib: And so, while some consider my belief in aliens insane
I am the final defense against the alien's evil reign.
People should be more grateful for all of the efforts I have made
But, sadly, it's with jokes and laughter that I've always been repaid.
Still, a great paranormalist cares little for public acclaim
He's interested in the truth, not popularity or fame.
And, as such, I will vow to show Zim's alien identity!
Then, aliens' existence can't be doubted by anybody!
SE: Then, aliens' existence can't be doubted by anybody!
Then, aliens' existence can't be doubted by anybody!
Then, aliens' existence can't be doubted by any, anybody!
Dib: Though some may think a paranormalist is something of a loon,
My efforts to track Zim will redeem the noble profession soon!
And so I hope I can assume that everybody gets my gist;
I am the very model of a child paranormalist!
SE: And so he hopes he can assume that everybody gets his gist;
He is the very model of a child paranormalist!
