Damphyr 5 - The Return
by Colleen Hillerup

"Whatcha working on?" Billie Summers climbed onto her husband's lap. "New case?"

"Yep." Angel tried to crane his head around her body. "Or I would be, if I could see the monitor."

"Oh." She opened her eyes wide with innocence. "Am I in the way?"

He hit the shutdown key. "Not anymore." Wrapping his arms around her, he lost himself in her kiss. "Hmmm. So. How was your day?"

"The producer wants massive cuts. I'll be another week on the project. But that's not the main thing. I went to the doctor today. We need to talk." She saw his face fall, realizing that he would fear the worst. "No, don't worry." She kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

He looked into her eyes, remembering another day. The day Cordelia said, 'We have to talk.' The day that started her long road into darkness. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." A smile played over her lips. "Nothing is wrong. It just looks like I'm not so unique anymore. It looks like that miracle we were hoping for finally happened." She held his gaze, nodding slightly.

"A baby?" he whispered. "You're pregnant?" Their faces broke out in matching wide grins, as he stood away from his desk, holding her up in the air. He kissed her again, gently, reverently. "I love you."

"Then put me down. I'm getting airsick." She stood, her hands wrapped tightly around his waist, head on his chest. "Just for the record, I love you, too."

"How are you? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

"Well," she sighed. "You could tell Dad for me."

"Can I get you anything else?"

*****

Spike sat in his office, pouring over company reports. The weaker Willow grew, the more responsibility faced him. It hurt him to see his friend. Every passing year left a heavier imprint on her, and he feared that time was running out. The consequences of magic lay hard on her. Willow was wasting away before him, and it saddened him.

His monitor blinked, and he clicked it on. "Hello, Spike," a familiar face said.

"Hello, boss." He looked at the lines around her face, her greying hair, her fading eyes. In her late forties, and she looked seventy. "The Quelco merger is lookin' to be a go."

"Fine. That's not why I wanted to talk to you." She coughed a bit, holding her fist to her mouth. "I want to send you some of my private files to sort through. Various things. Project notes, concepts I never got around to fleshing out. I want you to take a look and see if there's anything of use. I wouldn't trust anyone else, and I just don't seem to be up to it myself."

"Sure thing. I'll get right on it. And Red ...?"

"Yes?"

"How are you? Really, I mean."

His old friend smiled. "Good as can be expected."

****

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting?" Maria Ricardo backed her way out of Angel's office, only slightly embarrassed by the familiar sight of her boss in his wife's arms. "I can come back later."

"No, Maria, come in." It was impossible to appear nonchalant as Billie wiped the lipstick off his lower lip with her thumb. "We were just ..."

"Talking," Billie interrupted. "We were talking." She raised her eyes at Angel, trying to give him an 'I'm not ready to tell anyone yet, so don't you' signal, and he must have caught it.

"Talking. Right. How's the case going?" Angel tried to concentrate on Maria's words, but he was far too preoccupied.

"I'm going to have a little nap before supper. Long day." Billie pecked Angel's cheek and headed out the office door. "See you both later."

*****

Spike rubbed his eyes, starting on yet another of Willow's folders. He sorted and deleted material, looking for viable ideas, when one file caught his eye. "Resurrection." He clicked it open, and his eyes opened wide at the header. "Spell for the Resurrection and Rehumanization of Disembodied Vampires." He started to scroll down the page. "Buffy," he whispered.

*****

Fred knocked softly on Billie's door. "Come in," the young woman called.

"Hey, Sweetie," Fred said. "I heard you were lying down, and I just wanted to see how you were. Aren't you feeling well?"

"I'm okay." She patted the bed and Fred sat beside her. "Just a little tired."

"You look a bit pale. Can I get you some tea?"

"Aunt Fred, I'm fine. Don't go fussing over me." She took her hand. "So, what's going on with Uncle Wes? Did you go out with him?"

"Coffee. We just had coffee." Fred smiled a tiny secret smile. "I've known him for twenty-five years. If something was going to happen, it would have happened long ago. Wouldn't it?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." She looked up at the older woman. "I think he was respecting Uncle Charles."

"I lost him so long ago. I miss him, every day. But we were talking about Wesley. You really think he's still interested? We had such a nice time."

"Oh, I think he's interested. More than interested." She squeezed Fred's hand. "Don't wait. Take what you can. I've watched my father pine over my mother until he has no life left. I've watched you, too, missing Uncle Charles. He'd want you to be happy."

"I think maybe I could be." She looked with concern at Billie. "There is something wrong. What is it?"

"I just feel a bit nauseous. I'm fine."

Fred's eyes widened. "Are you pregnant?" She knew she was right by Billie's expression. "Have you told Angel? This is wonderful!"

"Angel knows. He's ecstatic. But please, don't tell Wes or Maria. I want to tell Dad first."

"Oh." Fred patted her younger friend's hand. "Good luck."

*****

"You knew!" Spike waved his palmtop in the air. "You knew this could bring her back! You've known for years and you didn't tell me!"

"I knew." Willow sat back in her chair, hands folded in her lap. "I knew the spell existed. I even considered using it, briefly. But I won't go down that road again."

"You won't," he shouted. "You decided. What about me? Thought you were through with leavin' me out of the loop. First you bring her back, rip her out a heaven without me. Then you decide that you won't give me the choice a pullin' her out of hell." He leaned over the chair. "I thought you were my friend. My best friend."

"I am your friend." Willow took a deep breath, coughing. "Look at me, Spike. Really look at me. These are the consequences for meddling with dark magics. You used to know that."

"But Buffy ..."

"Is dead. Twenty-five years. And you don't know that she's in hell. We don't know what happens to the human when the vampire is born. You don't even know." She pinched her nose between her fingers, trying to ward off the headache she knew was forming. "We don't even know if that spell works. I won't put you through that. You, or her."

He dropped to the ground and knelt in front of her. "But Will. I miss her. Ev'ry day it gets worse. She's all I think of. It's not supposed to be like that."

Willow put her hand on his head, as he leaned it on her lap. "No, it isn't. I've been so unfair. I've kept you here, out of selfishness, when this job isn't your nature. You should be with your daughter, your family." She stroked his head. "No wonder you think of Buffy so, here in Sunnydale. You should be with Billie."

"I can't be with her. Not and see her with him." He looked up with tear filled eyes. "Why did she have to pick him, Red? All the men in the world and it had to be him."

With a beep Willow's monitor opened. "Aunt Willow? Hello? Is dad there?"

Spike wiped his eyes and rose, stepping to the desk. "Yes, baby. I'm here."

"Dad, I need you to come to LA. I need to talk."

"This is a bad time, Sweetheart. Can't you tell me now?" He melted at the sight of her face, mouth so like Buffy's. His blue eyes.

"In person, Dad. I need to talk in person." Her eyes were pleading. "Please."

"Okay, pet. Anything for you." He frowned. "Is something wrong? Did Angelus ...."

"Nothing like that. Just get here as soon as you can. Bye. Love you." The monitor clicked off.

"Go," Willow smiled. "It's good timing. I'll be fine. About time I gave your assistant something to do. And Spike?"

"Yeah?"


She pointed to his palmtop. "About that spell. Don't be foolish."

"No promises."

****

He walked through the front door of the Hyperion Hotel, his bag slung over his arm. So many years spent in these walls, and now the place seemed alien, unreal. But his little girl lived here, so a part of him would always call it home.

"Daddy?" Billie ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh, Daddy, I missed you."

"Ah, pet." He held her close. It had been far too long.

"Spike." At the sound of the other vampire's voice, his body stiffened.

"Peaches."

"Welcome back." Angel held out his hand, but Spike ignored it.

"So, Sweetheart, what was so important you couldn't tell your dad over the phone, then?" He stepped back from her embrace. Realized there was another person in the room.

"I want to tell you, Dad. But I need to tell you alone." She gestured to the woman watching from the sidelines. "Dad, this is Maria Ricardo. She's the other investigator here."

Spike walked over to the woman and put out his hand. "Hi. Call me Spike."

Maria smiled, a broad beaming smile. Her eyes sparkled. "I've heard so much about you. All good things." She held the handshake. "So you're Billie's dad."

"Guilty." There was something about her eyes. They were dark, brown and deep. Her lips were red and full. But a man could lose himself in those eyes. He pulled back his hand. "Worked here long?"

"Three years." She had never seen eyes so blue. "I think I'm your replacement."

"Ah." He turned back to his daughter. "You want to talk now? Or shall I settle in first?"

"Oh, no rush." She looked over to Angel; caught his disapproving stare. "Or now's fine."

"You can use my office," Angel said.

*****

"I don't believe it." Spike stared at his daughter, face registering no emotion. "There must be some mistake."

"No mistake. I'm pregnant." Her eyes filled with tears. "Geez, Dad, can't you be happy for me? For once?"

"But he's a vampire."

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you." She put her hands on her hips, a gesture so like her mother. "Is that what you said, when she told you about me? That it couldn't be true?"

His voice was cold. "That's different."

"God, Dad. Get over it. I'm married to Angel. I'm having his baby." She clenched her jaw. "This is just like at the wedding."

"I was at the weddin'."

"Yeah, you were there." She hit her chest with the flat of her hand. "But you weren't there for me. You hated it. You couldn't stand that I love him. That I want to be with him." Her lip trembled. "What went wrong? You were friends. For twenty years, you were friends. You worked together, side by side. He was there for you when mom died, in a way nobody else could be. How can you hate him so much now?"

Spike didn't say anything. His face was unreadable.

"This is reality." She grabbed his hand and laid it on her abdomen. "This is your grandchild. Deal."

He sensed something. Not a heartbeat, not yet. But something. Life. His face softened.

"Oh, Dad, I love you. You're a great person. I want my baby to know you, too. Is that too much to ask?"

He pulled her tight against him, stroking her hair. His little girl. Her mother's daughter. "I love you, Billie." He kissed her forehead. "But don't expect too much of me."

*****

Spike had gone up to his room to settle in. Billie was sitting with Angel and Maria in the lobby. They could tell she'd been crying. Angel stood up and paced. "This is so like him."

Maria shifted uncomfortably. "Look guys, I don't know what's going on, but I feel like a fifth wheel here. I should go."
"No." Billie looked down at the carpet, tracing the pattern in her mind. "Don't go. Just something we need to work out. I'll tell you later."

"I'm going to talk to him." Angel's jaw was set.

"Honey, don't. Just let him be." She played with her fingers. "He'll come around."

Angel stood there, trying to control his anger. He pointed at his wife, like he was going to say something, then turned and bounded up the stairs.

"Oh, shit." She wiped tears from her eyes, shaking her head. "I didn't want it to be like this."

Maria sat closer to the younger woman, wrapping her arms around Billie. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm sorry." She looked towards the stairs. "Your father is a very lonely man."

"Hm?" Billie sighed. "Yeah, I guess he is."

"You didn't tell me he was so handsome."

She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I guess he is." She snuggled next to the other woman. "He's never gotten over my mom. And he's never gotten over her relationship with Angel. Before they were together." She grasped Maria's hand. "And if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, good luck."

****

Angel shoved the suite door open. "Don't do this to her."

Spike didn't look up from unpacking his suitcase. "Do what?"

"You know what." The taller vampire pulled Spike up to his full height. "Steal her joy. She's happy. She wants this baby so much. So do I."

"So, I'm just supposed ta smile and pretend like everything's hugs an' puppies, then? Cause right now there's a twist in my gut, and it won't go away." He looked defiantly at the taller vampire. "This is all right warped, ain't it? My grandsire and my only daughter. Buffy's lover and her little girl. But I'm supposed to be happy."

"No. Nobody's asking you to be happy." There was pleading in his eyes. "I'm asking you to let her be happy. Because she loves you so much."

"And she loves you more." Spike took a jacket from his suitcase and hung it in the closet. "I have to unpack. Things'r getting wrinkled."

"You're just jealous. That's all it is, isn't it? You couldn't stand to see her with anyone, and you sure as hell can't stand to see her with me." He spun Spike around. "Let her be happy."

"Back off, Angelus."
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare hurt her. Not again." Spike looked up at the ceiling, avoiding Angel's stare. "I don't care if you are my father-in-law." He stopped, looked at Spike, and laughed. A simple, heartfelt laugh. "Sorry. That just sounds so weird."

Despite himself, Spike smiled. "That it does." He looked at Angel now. "You love her. I get that. Who wouldn't?" He twisted the wedding band he'd worn for almost thirty years. "A baby. It'll take some time."

"Want a drink?"

Spike followed him out the door. "Hell, why not?"

*****

"You don't belong there, stuck behind a computer. It must drive you crazy." Angel rested his elbows on the table, his glass in between them. "You used to love the hunt."

"Don't." Spike leaned back in the kitchen chair, swirling the blood in the glass in his hand. "When Cordelia died, if there'd been a way to bring her back, would you a done it?"

"Yes." Angel looked down at his own drink. "Maybe. Not like she was. You remember."

"Yeah," Spike took a swig of the blood. "I remember."

"But whole and healthy again? I would have killed for the chance. We'd still be together," he took a slow sip of his drink, "and Billie and I would never have been. This baby would never have been." He stopped and looked at the other vampire. "Why speculate? You can't turn back time. I wouldn't want to."

"Just thinkin' out loud."

Maria walked through the kitchen door. "Oh, there you are, Angel. Can I see you in your office? I think we've caught a break on the G'rzlk case." She acknowledged the other vampire's presence with a smile. "Hi, Spike."

"Maria."

Angel rose from his chair and headed out the door. "I'll be right back, Spike."

"No hurry." He realized the dark haired woman was still standing at the doorway. "Yeah, luv?"

"I was just wondering. I mean, I know it's been a while since you lived here in town. Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?" She could kick herself for her awkwardness. It wasn't like her.

"That's kind a you." The smile left his eyes. "But I'm not really a coffee drinker. Sorry."

"Oh." She tried not to let the hurt show on her face. "I'll be in the boss' office, then."

Billie passed her as she came through the door. "Hey." When Maria didn't answer, she sat down on the chair her husband had vacated. "I heard you and Angel talking, earlier. Not that I was eavesdropping, or anything."

"Course not." He realized what he was drinking, and moved the glass away from his daughter.

"It's human, he gets it from the blood bank, and no, I've never tried it. Angel and I don't keep secrets, Dad." She stood up and walked over to the big refrigerator, pulling out a jug of milk. "Baby's thirsty." Pouring a glass for herself, she pulled a jar of pig's blood from the side of the door and topped off the milk, stirring it with a spoon until it was tinged pink. "Wonder if my baby will have to do this."

"Your doctor, does he know?"

"She knows. She specializes in unusual births. In fact, she's not quite human herself." She walked over to her father and put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. I know what happened with the doctor when I was born. We can trust her."

He covered her hand with his. "Still can't believe it. My baby with a baby."

"Oh, when I'm fat and start waddling around, it will be easy enough to believe. If you stay long enough to see me, that is."

He pulled back, taking another drink. "Willow needs me."

"I need you." She realized where this was leading. "I don't want to fight. Let's take it a day at a time." She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I have my father today."

"I wish your mother were here. To share this with you, I mean."

Billie sat back down. "I wish I could remember her. I've seen her pictures, of course, but that's not like remembering." She sat up straight. "Fred's been a great mom. What's done is done. Enough with the maudlin." Her eyes flashed with mischief. "Maria likes you."

"I gathered that. Seems like a nice girl. Where'd Angel find her?"

"Uncle Wes met her on a case he was working on. She was a cop. I think she liked the idea of the freedom of working with the agency. So he offered her a job."
"Then Maria and Wesley ..."

"Are coworkers." She looked her father with disbelief. "You know he totally loves Fred, don't you?"

"Still?" He looked into the ruby liquid in his glass. "Persistent bastard, isn't he?"

"Not as persistent as some." She stared at her father. "When are you going to move on? I hate seeing you in pain. Mom's gone. She isn't coming back."

"Maybe," he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

*****

Spike walked into the lobby, clutching the bag in his hands. It hadn't been easy, but he'd found everything on his list. Everything he'd need. He could do it. He could do it tonight.

"Spike. I've been waiting for you. Can I speak to you a moment?"

Spike turned to the distinguished middle aged man. Funny, as he got older, how much he resembled Giles. "Bit busy right now Wesley. Can it wait?"

"I suppose so." Wesley showed no sign of stepping out of the way. "It's just that, Angel and I have been talking, and, well, we really could use you back here at the firm. You're assistance was invaluable in the past, and you've been sorely missed."

"I have a job." His eyes strayed to the staircase. "I really have to go."

Wesley laid his hand on Spike's shoulder. "Just think about it."

****

He lay the elements out on the floor beside his bed. Lit a candle and began the chant. His arms ached for her. Soon she'd be back, and she'd be his. She would be so proud of Billie. Everything would be good again.

In the smoke of the candle he could see her face. Nothing had ever been as beautiful as her. She would be human again. Just like she was before Drusilla ...

Or would she be? Who would she be? Would she be his sweet girl, his magnificent Slayer? Or would she be that creature that taunted him, before crumbling into dust.
Would she really be Buffy? Or some interloper with her form. He pictured her eyes as she stood on the stairs, the night she came back. Her eyes full of fear and death, torment and despair. The coldness in her eyes as she slowly came back to life, week by week, struggling with the pain of her return. They had thought they'd saved her from hell, when she'd really been torn from heaven. How could he think she was in torment now, the real her, the good her.

"What the bloody hell am I doin'?" He pushed the elements aside, blew out the candle, and wept.

****

Billie was in the lobby with the others the next night, when he came down the stairs, his luggage over his shoulder. "You're going?" she cried. "Already?"

"Oh, love, no, don't cry." He took her into his arms. "Just for a bit. I need to go back for a month, help train some people. Can't leave your Aunt Willow in the lurch." He turned to Wesley. "That is, if the job offer still stands."

Wes clapped his hand on Spike's shoulder. "That's marvellous news. Get back as quick as you can."

Angel took his hand. "I'm glad."

"Be good to her, Angel. Her and the little tyke. You'll find there's nothing more precious to you than the life you've made together." Spike looked him straight in the eye. "And I'll be here to see that you get it right."

Maria walked over to him. "It was nice meeting you. I'm glad we'll get a chance to work together."

"So am I." Her eyes were so dark and deep. "When I get back, what say we go get that coffee?"