A/N: Hey all! I'm off to HAWAII (yay!) on Wednesday so I figured that I better finnish this fic FAST!!! I'm in a weird mood (surprise!) and I got heat stroke like 9 times due to 40 degree weather and spending too much time at the stampede. I hope you really enjoy this last bit and I'm gonna try and start a new fic when I get back (aug 1- mark your calendars!) heh heh heh. Anywho, I DELETED THE LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IT. I'VE TAKEN BITS FROM IT BUT I'M DELETING THE INDIANA JONES CRAP.
Disclaimer: I own a 20 year old ford that is called 'ol crappy for a reason. I'm pretty sure that I'd be living in a gazillion dollar house with a bunch of cars with actual paint if I owned DBZ. Get the idea?
CHAPTER… ERM… ELEVEN? I LOST TRACK…
~~~
"Where are those two?" Freeza demanded.
"I think you scared them off, my wonderfully hot son."
"Or perhaps he's afraid of queers." Vegeta growled.
"Hey that's not very nice!" Freeza whined.
"Well I'm not a very nice person, thanks to you- UGLY!!!"
"Hmph! You wanna go? I can take you, pretty boy- I mean, geezer."
"Go where?" Hercule asked dumbly.
"I'll tell you where I'm going! I'm going to find Gohan! He's my only *sob* friend. You're not being nice at all. I'm telling Bulma when I get home!" Vegeta whined, standing up.
"BULMA? OH GOD, BUHDA, KAMI- WHATEVER! PLEASE DON'T TELL HER! WE'LL BE GOOD- WE PROMISE!!!" Cell yelled. But his efforts and vocal cords went to waist, because our short little prince had left.
~~~
"So where are we going?" Videl asked timidly. Gohan was driving like a maniac.
"I dunno. How do you feel about kilts?" Gohan grumbled.
"Scotland?"
"It's really far away so it'll keep the freakers at a distance."
"Or they could just fly…"
"Believe me, Videl," Gohan said, as he looked at a very conveniently placed world road map," they're not that smart."
"Okay… Hey! Isn't that your friend, Vegeta behind us?" She asked, pointing to the man seen in the review mirror.
"Yeah… should I stop?" Videl nodded. Gohan slowed the car down and a grateful Vegeta climbed in moments later. "Hey Veggie."
"Hi."
"Why aren't you with the others?" Videl asked politely.
"They were being mean! Freeza called be a geezer AND pretty boy!"
"WHAT!?!?" Gohan screamed. "THEY CALLED YOU PRETTY BOY? WTF? I'M THE ONLY PRETTY BOY AROUND HERE!!! HOW DARE HE?"
"Yes Gohan, you're very pretty. Now calm down," I said, while typing like a madwoman…. Hee hee.
"I'll ignore that brutally un-called for self-insert," Vegeta mumbled. Meanwhile, back at the ranch (?) Videl was trying to calm her boyfriend.
"What the hell are you on, Gohan? You should seriously take some ridalin."
~Somewhere else- uh, Bertha's Bar~
"Uh, boss?" Racoom said quietly.
"Yup?" Freeza replied.
"Is it just me or have the saiyans and the kid's girlfriend run away?"
"You're right!" Burter hollered.
"You know, those stupidity-management classes are really paying off, Racoom!" Gurudo exclaimed happily.
Mr. Constipated Grasshopper stood up. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get em back. We've forgotten our mission anyway- TO KILL GOHAN! THE FREAKIS- never mind…
"But my little girl won't get hurt, will she?" Hercule asked.
"Yes she will, my pretty! And Freeza's little lap dog too!" King Kold butted in. Everyone rolled their eyes and left the restaurant, but not before making sure that the waitress having a nervous breakdown was all right. Gohan could be pretty scary sometimes.
Outside, the gang of villains (and Hercule, the strongest man alive) pilled into the van, but soon realized that none of them knew how to drive. So Cell came up with a "brilliant" plan: "Well all push the car along-side of us!"
Why didn't they just fly? Well, no one really knows. But that's not the point. They all agreed with Grasshopper and each insane stood around the car and began pushing it off in the direction of the semi-sane.
~On Highway Whatsit With Gohan and others~
"Is it just me, or are the freakers coming our way?" Gohan asked, sensing their ki.
"Oh great. Just what we need. A band of Loonie Toons, " Videl mumbled. I'm really starting to doubt my father. It takes more then cutting a few phone books in half to defeat an evil tyrant and those guys at Mr. Money's tournament. (A/N: Movie 9- Bojack)
"Well, technically, your dad has a brain because that's the only way his mouth could move so much." Gohan joked.
Vegeta raised an eyebrow while Videl looked confused. "Gohan, normally I would ask how you just heard that but now, I don't think I'll even bother."
"Good plan," Gohan said, his eye twitch acting up again.
"Kako-mate and the woman are gonna have a field day when this hear about this one," Vegeta grumbled, smirking slightly, yet dreading the fact that they'd be over, disrupting HIS training so they could plan the damn wedding. And, knowing how much Dende loved him cough sarcasm cough cough, he'd probably end up being the best man, or something like that. With little Trunks and kako-brat numero two as ring brats. They'd blow up the church. And then Vegeta would be blamed. And then he'd sleep on the couch for years. With no gravity room. And then, Gohan would murder him for disrupting his wedding. And then he'd wish Vegeta back to life. And then he'd kill him again. "I'm screwed."
But his complaining and smirking and dreading were ignored. Gohan was too busy trying to figure out how they were going to get away this time. He could see the van getting closer, which must be difficult, since cars usually go faster then vans. But we must remember, it's being pushed by Hercule (strongest man alive!) and his cronies. As they grew closer, Gohan sped up but he was no match for the rolling road trip-mobile. The van rammed the car, causing it to swerve.
But, since Gohan had been studying car chases like a good little boy (well, he'd been watching all the movies. Like the Fast and the Furious. Because Paul Walker's yummy. Well, that's my reason…) he stopped the car's swerving and tried to speed up, while grumbling about getting a nitro installed. He managed to get away for a second and he looked back at the villains and sneered. Hah! They're a bunch of losers. I'll beat them yet!
Sadly, since Gohan was turned around, he failed to notice that he'd rear-ended a man from the "Hell's Angels" (a huge motorcycle gang, in case you didn't know). This, as we all know, is not a very good thing to do, since the Hell's Angels aren't very nice people, although anyone who wears a leather jacket is fine by me. The man on the bike growled and commanded his other Angels to "get that punk."
Now, isn't this a familiar scene. 16, 17 and 18 endured a similar encounter, 7 years ago. The group started hacking away at Gohan's car, with chains, nightsticks, frying pans and rolling pins.
~Meanwhile, in the road trip-mobile~
"Wow. These human aren't so bad after all! They're doing all the work for us!" Freeza said happily.
"My poor baby… VIDEL!! WE'VE GOTTA SAVE HER!"
"No, we've got to let her get killed, as part of our pointless revenge on Gohan," Cell explained. "Don't fret… I'll make a great replacement for her, if you know what I mean," he said suggestively.
Hercule shuddered. Cell was hot, but not nearly as good looking as his butler. "Aww… Come on! Can't we just leave Vi outta this? She's so little. We could let her out here- we're only a kilometer away from Tokyo."
"I suppose we-" a large explosion interrupted King Kold. Apparently Gohan was fed up of the Angels. It didn't surprise him. They had the wrong name. It should have been HFIL's Angels.
"I'm bored. I'm really sick of trying to kill people," Gurudo whined.
"Gu's right. This is dull. Can''t we just all get along?" Racoom asked. But it didn't seem to matter. His counterparts were looking at something else. It seemed that they'd entered Tokyo and were now at….
~The Car~
"The Male Cheerleader Conference!" Vegeta exclaimed excitedly. "Golly Gosh, Gohan. We're actually here! Wow! I love you man!"
"It's bea-u-tiful!" Videl agreed.
The pair hopped out of the now halted car happily, skipping towards the entrance. "Well I'll be damned. There really is a MCC. Cool." Gohan said, before getting gout to join his friends.
~Road Trip-Mobile~
"Let's go!" Cell cried.
"Yeah!"
"I'm right behind you, dad" Freeza said.
"Come on!" Gurudo called.
"Yeah!" Burta yelled.
"Uh-huh!" Racoom screamed.
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Well, this story's finally done. I managed to get through with only 3 flames, each more pointless then the rest (i.e.: a bunch of swear words all strung together in a run-on sentence). I have to say; I didn't expect to get so much positive feed back! I'm really glad to have "brightened" your day (?) and I hope I'll be able to write an equally good story in August.
Speaking of my story, you guys have about 15 hours to give me ideas for my next story (I plan on writing on the million-hour plane ride). Please, if you've got an ORIGINAL idea, Gimmie. Don't forget- humor is not optional. It must be there.
Love,
Your buddy Gerry's Giant Green Grassmonkey
P.S.: In case you were wondering about the name, I don't know either.
