Title: Faith in Love!
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: 15th May 2002
Finished: 16th May 2002
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: Get mighty sick of this bit…no they don't belong to me!
Summary: Will Tess ever forget her first true love?
Author's Notes: This is the start of a duel ending fic. When I started it I just typed the first sentence with absolutely no idea where it was headed. A specific request from Penny to give Jack a happy ending led me to this idea. The question is did I comply with Penny's request?
In the end it really didn't matter what she thought. How she felt deep down inside was of no consequence either.
Jack had made his choice!
These thoughts always came to Tess when she was curled up in bed trying desperately to get some sleep. Some nights, sleep just wouldn't come and at those times her mind was always awash with unanswered question, thoughts she had little control over. Would they ever stop?
She had asked herself the same question over and over but no answer came to mind. What would make him choose the wrong path? And it was the wrong path, her heart screamed out to her telling her so. What was so wrong with her that he chose to go off in a different direction?
It seemed so long since Jack had been a real part of her life. Mentally Tess tallied up the months since his abrupt departure. She hadn't seen it coming, hadn't witnessed any form of mood change in him, excepting of course those last few days.
She had listened to the interview tape after he had gone. She knew she shouldn't have but no one was around to tell her otherwise. Had heard his words… "I'd do it all again!" That certainly wasn't the Jack she knew. The Jack she had secretly loved for so long.
But that Jack was so obviously long gone and Tess knew she had to move on with her life. Forget about the man who had for so long made her heart beat just that little bit faster with his mere presence. The man whose smile could turn her day around.
It seemed that lately all Tess did was question her feelings for Jack, past and present, her faith in relationships. She knew why – feelings for another had made the persistent thoughts resurface.
She often wondered whether facing up to the past was what she should do. Would seeing Jack enable her to let go of the past? She wondered the thoughts that went through his mind these days. Did he even think of her? Did he regret his actions? Would he see her? He had returned the bail money. Why would he do that? Did he hate her that much that he wouldn't allow her to help him one last time?
They had meant so much to each other, it was more than a meeting of bodies, so much more than just sex. Mates, great mates - they'd been that long before anything else. Jack's obvious desire to be with her didn't go unnoticed. Tess had tried so hard to keep him at arms length, to protect herself from the hurt that always accompanies human relationships.
How right she was! She had finally given into the desire between them - had opened her heart to loving him. Jack had managed to break down the walls that had surrounded her, protected her from hurt for so long. Her heart full of love for her constable, they embarked on a passionate but short- lived affair.
How quickly it had soured - Jack's renegade actions, his complete disregard for his badge. And then he was gone. No chance to really discuss what had happened, no chance to say goodbye. She had wanted to, but that hadn't been possible. Their relationship had been a secret and at that time she had to be a sergeant.
But things were different now, the trial was over – had been for 18 months. Jack had been sentenced to 5 years for manslaughter. They hadn't even taken into consideration his mental state at the time. Seeing Jack in court hadn't been easy. Tess had tried to not be involved but the braid wouldn't hear of it. She had tried to present an impartial case the whole while her heart was breaking all over again.
She knew then that she hadn't healed, that she still loved Jack. Not the Jack that let a man fall to his death but the Jack that had a sweet soul, the Jack that was gentle and loving. The man whose body she could still remember, the feel of it under her fevered fingers. In a way though the trial had been the end, it had allowed her to attempt to move on with her life.
Time had moved on, and she had been attracted to someone else since Jack. Ironically it was Jack's replacement whose smile had made her legs feel like mush and her heart sing. Tess hadn't expected to ever feel that spark again, that animal magnetism. And when it had happened her initial reaction was complete guilt, the feeling that she was betraying his memory. Irrational really considering Jack's choices. But her feelings weren't controllable.
But still she couldn't allow herself to begin a relationship with him. She had to know why. Was it her lack of faith? Was it just the memory of their love that was keeping her alone? Or was it that she was still yearning for Jack, was still in love with him?
She needed to see him, talk to him.
She needed to know!
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: 15th May 2002
Finished: 16th May 2002
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: Get mighty sick of this bit…no they don't belong to me!
Summary: Will Tess ever forget her first true love?
Author's Notes: This is the start of a duel ending fic. When I started it I just typed the first sentence with absolutely no idea where it was headed. A specific request from Penny to give Jack a happy ending led me to this idea. The question is did I comply with Penny's request?
In the end it really didn't matter what she thought. How she felt deep down inside was of no consequence either.
Jack had made his choice!
These thoughts always came to Tess when she was curled up in bed trying desperately to get some sleep. Some nights, sleep just wouldn't come and at those times her mind was always awash with unanswered question, thoughts she had little control over. Would they ever stop?
She had asked herself the same question over and over but no answer came to mind. What would make him choose the wrong path? And it was the wrong path, her heart screamed out to her telling her so. What was so wrong with her that he chose to go off in a different direction?
It seemed so long since Jack had been a real part of her life. Mentally Tess tallied up the months since his abrupt departure. She hadn't seen it coming, hadn't witnessed any form of mood change in him, excepting of course those last few days.
She had listened to the interview tape after he had gone. She knew she shouldn't have but no one was around to tell her otherwise. Had heard his words… "I'd do it all again!" That certainly wasn't the Jack she knew. The Jack she had secretly loved for so long.
But that Jack was so obviously long gone and Tess knew she had to move on with her life. Forget about the man who had for so long made her heart beat just that little bit faster with his mere presence. The man whose smile could turn her day around.
It seemed that lately all Tess did was question her feelings for Jack, past and present, her faith in relationships. She knew why – feelings for another had made the persistent thoughts resurface.
She often wondered whether facing up to the past was what she should do. Would seeing Jack enable her to let go of the past? She wondered the thoughts that went through his mind these days. Did he even think of her? Did he regret his actions? Would he see her? He had returned the bail money. Why would he do that? Did he hate her that much that he wouldn't allow her to help him one last time?
They had meant so much to each other, it was more than a meeting of bodies, so much more than just sex. Mates, great mates - they'd been that long before anything else. Jack's obvious desire to be with her didn't go unnoticed. Tess had tried so hard to keep him at arms length, to protect herself from the hurt that always accompanies human relationships.
How right she was! She had finally given into the desire between them - had opened her heart to loving him. Jack had managed to break down the walls that had surrounded her, protected her from hurt for so long. Her heart full of love for her constable, they embarked on a passionate but short- lived affair.
How quickly it had soured - Jack's renegade actions, his complete disregard for his badge. And then he was gone. No chance to really discuss what had happened, no chance to say goodbye. She had wanted to, but that hadn't been possible. Their relationship had been a secret and at that time she had to be a sergeant.
But things were different now, the trial was over – had been for 18 months. Jack had been sentenced to 5 years for manslaughter. They hadn't even taken into consideration his mental state at the time. Seeing Jack in court hadn't been easy. Tess had tried to not be involved but the braid wouldn't hear of it. She had tried to present an impartial case the whole while her heart was breaking all over again.
She knew then that she hadn't healed, that she still loved Jack. Not the Jack that let a man fall to his death but the Jack that had a sweet soul, the Jack that was gentle and loving. The man whose body she could still remember, the feel of it under her fevered fingers. In a way though the trial had been the end, it had allowed her to attempt to move on with her life.
Time had moved on, and she had been attracted to someone else since Jack. Ironically it was Jack's replacement whose smile had made her legs feel like mush and her heart sing. Tess hadn't expected to ever feel that spark again, that animal magnetism. And when it had happened her initial reaction was complete guilt, the feeling that she was betraying his memory. Irrational really considering Jack's choices. But her feelings weren't controllable.
But still she couldn't allow herself to begin a relationship with him. She had to know why. Was it her lack of faith? Was it just the memory of their love that was keeping her alone? Or was it that she was still yearning for Jack, was still in love with him?
She needed to see him, talk to him.
She needed to know!
