Warning: Lots of silliness, drinking (legal age down to 18 haha), and…yeah.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is copyright Sotsu Agency and whatnot. Not mine.
Written: April 3, 2002 - May 6, 2002

Heero's Fatal Mistake
By Seraphina DW

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!" Duo sang out loudly while taking a swig at his can of beer.

"Some quaint restaurant," Heero frowned and stared at his unopened can of beer. The so-called "nice" restaurant was more like a beerfest. Duo, that little thief, has managed to get them all fake I.D.s, and it wasn't very hard for their 16-year old selves to look 18, was it?

"Aww, Heero, relax won't ya?" Hilde asked, giggling at Duo who bawled, "97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it -round--"

"Duo! Shut up!" Heero stood up, about to ram his fists into his friend's face.

"Heero," Relena pleaded gently, "here." She gave him a shot glass full of a light bronze-colored liquid. He stared at it suspiciously before gulping it down.

"Bahh, Heero," Duo pasted a lazy grin on his face. "Whatdeya say to a drinking contest? Five shots."

"I say you're crazy," Heero glared.

"Aww, Heero. It'll be funnnn," Duo's eyes gleamed mischievously.

"Yeah, Heero, I'll have a contest with Hilde too," Relena said, "but only if you have one with Duo."

Heero's cocked an eyebrow at her. Relena…in a drinking contest? He'd pay lots of money to see that.

"Ok, ok," he grumbled, sat down, and watched Relena pour liquor into five shot glasses.

"Ready?" Violet eyes stared and challenged him.

"Ready," Heero said, concentrating on the first glass.

"Go!" Hilde shouted happily.

Heero grabbed the first glass and poured the liquor into his mouth. It burned down his throat and gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling, but he didn't stop. Duo was on his third glass while Heero raced to finish his.

Fourth glass.

Fifth glass.

"Finished!" Duo cried out, laughing while a bead of liquor rolled down his chin. "Oh, man, I beat you, Heero, for the first time! Haha!" Duo pointed his finger and slumped back into his chair, laughing, while Hilde wiped his mouth with a napkin and gave him a quick kiss.

Heero glared stonily, but couldn't help but smiling. "I'm not perfect," he retorted. Grabbing Relena by the waist, he mumbled, "Your turn."

She chuckled and said, "Oh, alright," after planting a kiss on his mouth. His lust filled eyes followed her as she ordered ten shots for herself and Hilde.

"Thanks, sir," she said happily while hopping on a stool, passing five glasses to Hilde. Smiling, she asked, "Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Hilde smiled.

"Then…er-GO!" Duo shouted happily.

Relena and Hilde were almost synchronized as they poured shot after shot into their mouths.

"Come on, Relena," Heero growled.

She managed to speed up and gulp down her last glass a split second before Hilde.

"Oohh! I beat you!" She laughed and jumped on Heero, both their breaths heavy with alcohol.

"That was…was only once! Once!" Hilde laughed, drunk. "Damn, my throat…it's burning!" She giggled.

"Mmmhmm," Relena nodded, a dazed smile on her face. Turning to Heero, she slung both her arms around him and they swayed off balance.

"Heeeeeroooo," she slurred, "why don't we go out now?"

"Wha?" Heero asked her, trying to kiss her.

"Yeah…let's go out. Whatdya say, Hilde?"

"Sure!" Hilde laughed, tugging on Duo's arm.

So off the drunken teenagers went, arms slung around each other with Duo bawling, "Whee!! This is the best fucking night ev'rrr! Haha!"

Hilde and Relena only exchanged glances, smirking to themselves.

***

"We're here!" Relena said as both girls led the boys into a dark warehouse.

"Mmm…it's dark. What're you doing, Relena?" Heero asked, stumbling onto her. "Damnit, I's never this drunk…b'fore." He smiled, lazily.

"You'll see," Relena led him on, spinning seductive threads around him. Then, without warning, she left him in the dark.

"Hilde? Hilde? Where'd ya go, you foxy thangg?" Duo laughed and grabbed for her but ended up with Heero in his arms and a fist in his face.

"Get 'ff you drunk idiot," Heero growled angrily at being left alone with Duo.

"Bah bah bah," Duo drawled.

Suddenly, great lights flashed in their face and they shielded their eyes with their arms.

"What da fuck?" Duo asked.

Hilde strutted out, her miniskirt tight around her legs. Duo grinned evilly, reaching for her when she stepped back. "Uh-uh. First, you have to do something."

Duo impatiently frowned, "What?"

Relena walked out, her hips swaying, "Heero," she purred. He grabbed her and pressed himself against her when she slid out under his arms. "Tsk tsk, Heero. You have to do something first as well."

Duo and Heero exchanged looks. "What is it?" Heero asked, his eyes hungrily scanning Relena's body.

Relena smiled a smile that would chill Heero to his bones…that is, if he was the least bit sober and had his mind up in the right place.

"Both of you, come over here," Relena stood on a platform with a white screen behind it.

The two boys followed obediently. "Good. Now, Heero," Relena kissed him, tugging his arms around Duo, "put your arms around him."

"What da FUCK?" Duo objected loudly…as usual. "I may b'drunk, but 'm not THAT drunk."

Hilde walked to him, kissed him chastely on the lips, and murmured, "Just let him hold you for a few seconds. It turns me on."

"Eh??" Duo looked at her at a slant. 'My girlfriend's a gay porno fiend?' he thought, confused. Then troubled.

Then, a bright flash went off before he passed out.