vi. Jericho
They thought I'd killed her.
Knowing that – the more I thought about it, the more I wish that I had. The more I wish I'd never had a single thing to do with Reese Benoit, makes me wish that she'd never even set foot on this earth, ever even looked at me, ever spoke in that soft accent, never spoke…
I don't know if I can take it.
I'm seein' red, don't think you'll
have to see my face again…
Don't have much time for sympathy
Cos it never happened to me
I couldn't help but be a little angry
with her – whatever had happened, I'm sure she could have avoided it, and
things would be a million times better. The world wouldn't think
I'm a murderer, and…
I could have her here.
It'd be strange, but…
I wouldn't want to end it. I'd still have something…to live for.
-*-
So follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to
go,
Maybe that's when you will know…
Of course Reese and I had our ups
and downs – things weren't so hot in the beginning. I mean, I was
still a little (okay, a lot) bitter over the whole title loss thing, and
I'll admit…
I was an asshole.
She'd not been afraid to call me
on it, either.
At first, the tiny voice was annoying,
but avoidable, ignorable. But then – we'd actually clicked over something.
She was a musician, 110%, and there's something in me that…
Well, I respected that. Don't
know why the I did, but…
I hadn't respected her much when she'd looked me dead in the eye one day, completely out of nowhere.
"Chris? You do realize that I can see straight through this egotistical bullshit. What's with the routine, anyhow? Y'got insecurity issues or something?"
Let me say…that was a surprise.
I'd never heard the girl swear until that point, and the shock of that
had to fizzle before I realized what it was she'd exactly said.
She cut right to the chase.
Right damn to it.
"Hell no. Why would I be insecure…?"
And foolish lies
Well can't you see I try to compromise
Cos what you say ain't always
true
And I can see the tears in your
eyes
"I'm not blind, you know. Or
maybe it's a Benoit thing – I'm perceptive. You just look like…something…"
"You're nuts."
"If I'm so crazy, Jericho…" We'd been sitting in the makeshift kitchen, across the table from each other, and that's when she leaned a little closer to me, her eyes boring into mine. "If I'm so crazy…why does it look like you're gonna cry?"
I wouldn't even look at her for a
week after that.
She…knew. Saw.
And what you said now
Can't stop the words from runnin'
through my head
And what I'd do to get though
to you
But you'd only do it again
She never was one to let anyone cry,
though. Not Reese. She'd push the right buttons, quietly, carefully…
She'd find out what was wrong, and
then she'd be there with tissues and ice cream…
A few sweet words…
-*-
Where was she to console me now?
Oh, yeah….she's supposedly dead.
And I'm supposedly the one who did
it.
I confess
I don't know what to make from
all this mess
Don't have much time for sympathy
But it never happened to me
How could you kill someone if losing
her meant the slow death of you?
I didn't do it.
You're feelin' down now
I don't know where I'll be when
you come around
And now it's time to make a choice…
And all I wanna hear is your
voice.
