[b]Part 14 - I Will Remember You - Liz POV[/b]

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

Remember the good times that we had,
Let them slip away from us when things got bad.
Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun,
Want to feel your warmth upon me
I wanna be the one.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

I'm so tired, I can't sleep.
Standing on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much
But cannot say the words
We are screaming inside but we can't be heard.

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

So afraid to love you.
More afraid to lose.
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose.
Where once there was a darkness,
A deep and endless night,
You gave me everything you had,
Oh, you gave me life.

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memory.

Weep not for the memory.

Sarah McLachlan

I realize that I am crying as I become aware of my surroundings again. "How did you do that?" I ask Ava, still feeling Max's hands on my body, his lips, his love still wrapping its warmth around me...

"The granolith did it." Ava replies, smiling sadly. She glances around. "We're still in it you know."

I can see that she is right. We are gone from the desert, seem to be standing in a field of stars. She is the only thing, other than me, that has any substance, any form.

"Why did we come back?" I ask, still with tears in my eyes, my voice cracking. All I want is to return to that moment - the moment that Max and I had cemented our relationship and, I was guessing here but it seemed logical, conceived our daughter. Serena. "How was I...there?"

Because I [I]had[/I] been there. Living that other life - one where Max knew the truth so much earlier, where we were together, where he had never been with Tess.

And now I was back - back in the cold of my own reality. Back where Max and I could never be together. Because he belonged to [I]her[/I] here.

"It's the granolith." Ava explains. "The crystal. It has many uses - like when your Future Max came through a time portal for example." She pauses, frowning. "We just used it to place you into another [I]you[/I]. So that you could know what went wrong."

I am so confused by what she is telling me, I just shake my head. "But...were you there too?"

"Not really." Ava replies. "I was here. To make sure that you didn't get lost there."

I close my eyes briefly. "But I still don't know what happened - how [I] your[/I] timeline got messed up. I need to go back. Why did you bring me back before I knew?"

"I had to make sure that you weren't getting too wrapped up in [I]that[/I] life. It's not [I]your[/I] life Liz. You were only there to learn - not to live it." Ava tells me quietly, reaching out and putting her hand on my arm, as though in comfort.

Because she knows. She knows that I would give anything to have lived that life. I had been getting lost.

"It was so wonderful." I say sadly. "Why couldn't it have happened that way in [I]my[/I] life?"

Ava looks at me seriously. "Liz, there was something different. Something that you lived in [I]your[/I] life that the Liz in [I]that[/I] life didn't. You must remember what it was."

But I don't. I am too caught up in the memory of Max - of knowing without an compunction that he loved me, that we were meant to be together...

So many experiences had been similar, close to the same, but all had had a different vibe to them because Max and I had been together. What had been scary in this life, had been muted in that life. As long as we were together, we could do anything.

I see that Ava has tensed, looks frustrated. "You see why I had to pull you back Liz. You were getting sidetracked, losing your focus. You weren't learning what you needed to learn."

"Then I have to go back." I reply firmly. "I'll find out this time. I swear."

But she does not look convinced. "Liz, it gets bad in that life too you know." Ava tells me. "You need to get past all that romantic nonsense and think here. What - [I]who[/I] - was different?"

"Well, Tess was definitely different." I shrug.

"No she wasn't." Ava sighs. "Liz, everything that happened in your life, Tess was still doing behind the scenes in [I]that[/I] life. It still turned out the same. Alex died. Don't forget its why I joined up with Max and Michael and Isabel in the first place - why [I]I[/I] was sent back to fix things."

I frown, a horrible thought suddenly coming to me. "Does she still get pregnant?" I hold my breath, knowing that she is going to say no, because there is no way that she and Max could ever have been together that way in that life. He had promised me that he would never leave me for her.

"Yes." She says it brutally, so hard that it makes my knees weaken.

"No." I whisper. "It can't have happened."

It could not be. There was no way. I had lived what had happened between Max and I there. He would not have betrayed me that way.

"All I'll say is that it happened exactly the same way in that life as it did in yours." Ava says, sounding more gentle now, like she regrets having to hurt me.

"But you said that [I] something[/I] was different." I press. "What?"

"Not what. Who. Someone exists in your present life who did not exist there." Ava rolls her eyes. "Liz! Think! Are you so completely gaga over Max again that you can't even remember?"

And it hits me so suddenly, I feel like a total fool. "Sean!" I exclaim.

"Yes, Sean." Ava shakes her head. "God. That must have been some mind-blowing sex you just had because I've never known you to be so dense, in [I]this[/I] life or [I]that[/I] one."

I can feel my face reddening, but she is right. The feelings, the images of making love with Max...my soulmate, my other half. It was the first time I had ever felt complete in my entire life.

And it hadn't really been me. I was never going to have that.

"Okay, what about Sean?" I bring my hands to my temples, trying to focus. "What difference did he really make, other than serving as a distraction?"

Ava shrugs. "He was enough of a distraction to make sure that you didn't tell Max the truth soon enough."

"But..." I swallow, hard, force myself to say the words. "If Max and Tess still had a baby in [I]that[/I] life, how can he have made that big a difference?"

"Did I say that Tess and [I]Max[/I] had a baby?" She demands. "I said that [I]Tess[/I] still got pregnant. I never said it was Max's."

I am so stunned, I just stare at her for a moment. "But you said that everything that happened in this life, happened in that one too." She just raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to connect the dots. "Are you..." I feel my heart beginning to pound, hope beginning to build within me that there were still opportunities for miracles.

Maybe [I]this[/I] life wasn't so bleak after all.

"Are you saying that Max is not the father of Tess's baby?" I blurt, still unable to comprehend that this could really be true.

"Bingo."

"Well, then who is?" I demand, my mind racing with the possibilities. "And how does everything get so screwed up in [I]that[/I] life?"

Ava frowns. "I don't know if I can tell you that Liz. I think maybe you were right. You need to go see it for yourself. Because it wasn't all sunshine and roses in that life you know."

But suddenly, I don't want to go back. All I want to do is get out of the granolith (and I'm still unsure what being in the granolith really means...Are we [I]inside[/I] the crystal, or did it help us to get inside somewhere else...or...)Oh, who the hell knows? And who cares?

I want out. I want to find Max and I want to tell him the truth. I want to run into his arms and tell him that there is absolutely nothing standing between us being together, that he has no son, that the baby belongs to someone else.

But then it all comes crashing down again. I remember the flashes. I [I]know[/I] that he had sex with her in our timeline at least. And I can't get past it. I cannot relive those flashes every time I kiss him.

We still can't be together.

And, so, if we can't be together in [I]this[/I] life, I will go back to where we can be.

I grasp Ava by the hand, squeeze pleadingly.

"Send me back."

************************************************************
[b]Another Time, Another Life - Section D[/b]

"Liz! I need to talk to you!"

Liz smiled to herself as Maria practically attacked her as she and Max entered the gym a few hours later. It had taken all of their will-power to actually get there. Neither had really wanted to leave the desert, to end the most significant event of either of their lives by returning to the real world, but they had known that the others had been waiting for them, would be worried if they didn't show up at the prom.

And, technically, they were still supposed to be pretending that they were "just friends." It was highly likely that Tess would get suspicious if they didn't arrive, wondering why they had disappeared together.

Not that Liz was at all sure that she wouldn't see that there was something distinctly different about them anyway. Max could not keep a silly grin off of his face, no matter how hard he tried, and it was so unlike him, there was no way Tess wouldn't notice. Liz knew that [I]she[/I] was practically glowing too.

Liz shared a secret smile with Max before allowing Maria to sweep her away towards the girl's washroom. "I didn't think you were ever going to get here!" Maria exclaimed. "Liz, it's a complete disaster, I'm telling you!"

"Calm down! Tell me what it is." She ordered. Liz couldn't help glancing in the mirror as they passed it, wondering if she looked any different on the outside. She knew that her hair was still a little tousled, but that was the style these days after all. She tried to control the smile that was threatening to break out across her face. It was highly inappropriate, based on the tone of Maria's voice, and if it happened, she was going to have to explain to her best friend what had happened.

She would tell Maria eventually, of course, if only to reassure her best friend that it was fine to move ahead with Michael, that they were safe.

That it was wonderful in every way if it was your soulmate and you knew that you were giving everything of yourself to the one person you were meant to be with, and that he was giving everything of himself right back.

But, for right now, she wanted to keep the wonder of it all to herself, revel in the secret she and Max shared...

"Liz, did you hear what I said?" Maria demanded, waving her hand in front of Liz's face. "I am guessing by the lack of reaction that you didn't." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What's going on?"

Liz shook her head, tried to concentrate. "Nothing." She responded quickly. "Sorry. What did you say? I'm a little out of it, that's all. Max and I are so late and I feel like I'm just managing to recover from how long dinner took."

Maria just rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Liz, Alex and Isabel are back together."

Liz stared at Maria. "Really? That's great!"

Maria shook her head impatiently. "Liz, it is so [I]not[/I] great! She's going to hurt him again! I just know it! I can feel it in my bones!"

Liz smiled. "Maria, Alex isn't the same person anymore. I think he's learned how to handle himself around Isabel. He wouldn't be pursuing anything with her again if he didn't think it would work out." She felt a warm glow spreading through her at the thought of her best friend finally getting another chance with his dreamgirl.

Everything was finally falling into place for all of them.

"I still think we should put a stop to it." Maria retorted. "I will seriously kill that girl if she treats him like dirt again. I mean, c'mon. Grant Sorenson? Over Alex? I didn't think he was [I]ever[/I] going to recover from that!"

"But he did." Liz replied soothingly. "And Isabel has seen the light. We should be happy for them."

Maria narrowed her eyes speculatively. "Liz, you're a little too chipper tonight. Something's different..." She trailed off, staring at her. Liz felt a blush beginning to creep up her neck and onto her cheeks. "OH MY GOD! Liz!" Maria exclaimed, dawning understanding on her face. "Did you and Max...?"

Liz clapped her hand over Maria's mouth. "Shhhh!" She glanced around nervously. No one could over hear. If anything leaked back to Tess....and this was the sort of rumour that would be all around the school in ten seconds. Especially since, in the eyes of all their classmates, she and Max were not together. Even now, Liz could see Pam Troy and a friend of hers watching she and Maria in the mirror, interest on their faces. "Yes. Okay. Yes. But no one can know. Seriously Maria!"

Maria reached out and hugged Liz. "I could just kill you Liz! We still didn't know if it was safe after all!" She pulled back and smiled. "But I'm so happy for you!"

Liz couldn't help the smile that burst across her face. "It was...I mean, Maria, you have no idea."

"And likely won't for a long time if Michael doesn't get his act together." Maria replied darkly, but with a twinkle in her eye. She threw her arm across Liz's shoulder. "I say we go out into that gym and celebrate. I'm feeling really jumpy right about now." She added wryly. "Let's dance!"

Liz grinned, let Maria lead her out of the washroom. Her eyes immediately began to scan the room for Max as they returned to the gym, still planning to dance with Maria, but wanting to make sure that Max was surviving on his own for the moment. Not that she could even kiss him here - not where Tess might see - but she couldn't help it.

She couldn't see him anywhere though. Michael was standing with Kyle near the punch bowl. They both looked bored. Kyle even glanced at his watch once and stared off towards the gym doors, a scowl on his face.

Liz smiled to herself when she caught sight of Isabel and Alex slow-dancing nearby. The fact that the band was playing a fast song didn't seem to be bothering them at all. They were completely oblivious to the world around them, completely wrapped up in each other.

But where was Max? As she and Maria joined a group of their school friends on the dance floor, Liz continued to drift through the crowd. There was no sign of him.

A shiver of apprehension descended her spine, out of nowhere. She shook it off. She was being completely ridiculous. He had probably just gone to the washroom or outside for a breath of fresh air. It [I]was[/I] like a sauna in here.

When the song finished, Liz squeezed Maria's hand as her friend left her to go rejoin Michael. She noticed Kyle still watching the gym doors, the ones that led out into the school proper. Liz realized that he seemed upset. As Liz watched, he seemed to come to some sort of decision, started towards the doors, the tension in his body evident to Liz even from where she stood.

She moved towards him, met up with him right as he was about to go out into the hallway.

"Hi Kyle!" Liz said, a slightly questioning look on her face. She hoped that he would tell her what was wrong, because clearly something was.

"Oh, Liz! Hi." Kyle was distracted though, seemed to desperately want to go through those doors.

"Where's Tess?" Liz asked.

"That's what [I]I'm[/I] wondering." Kyle replied.

"Have you seen Max?" Liz continued, feeling another chill, for some reason that she didn't understand.

"Nah." Kyle shrugged. "Hey, listen. Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" He asked, seeming to have come to some sort of decision. He turned his back deliberately on the doors he had seemed so eager to go through only moments before. He placed a finger between his collar and his neck, pulled on his bow-tie as though it was strangling him.

Liz didn't really. She wanted to find Max, wanted to dance with him, but she could see that Kyle was really upset about something. He was her friend after all. If he didn't want to be alone, the least she could do was spend a few minutes outside with him.

"Okay."

Liz linked her arm through his, let him lead her back across the gym and out onto the patio beyond.

"So, we haven't had much of a chance to talk lately." Liz said quietly, as she and Kyle sat down at one of the picnic tables that graced the patio. "How are things?"

"Good, good." Kyle still seemed tense. He stood up abruptly. "Let's walk." He suggested. "I have all this excess energy. I need to get rid of it."

Liz frowned slightly, but stood up. "Kyle, is everything okay?"

"Not really." He muttered. His head was lowered as they walked and he had shoved his hands into his pockets, pausing as Liz reached down to take off her sandals because they weren't really meant for walking on grass, which was what they were currently doing. He glanced up at her suddenly, asked, "Liz, have you ever had the feeling that someone was drifting away from you and you had absolutely no idea why?"

Liz smiled wryly, thinking of the trouble she and Max had recently gone through, simply because they hadn't communicated. "I think I have." She replied. "Is something wrong between you and Tess?"

"I just don't know." Kyle sounded upset. "She's been so great lately, but tonight...something was just off. I got the distinct impression that she didn't want to be here with me."

Liz reached out, took his hand, squeezed. "I'm sure you're just imagining things." She tried to comfort him. "Anyone with eyes can see that Tess is crazy about you."

It was true. It was the reason Liz had come so close so many times to letting Max tell Tess the truth - that he and Liz were back together. And yet...Something had always held her back. Some small certainty that telling Tess the truth would be disastrous.

"Last week, I would have agreed, but lately...She's just been different. Ever since the hostage thing at the Museum actually...." He trailed off, shaking his head uncertainly.

They were both quiet for a moment, Liz reflecting on the fact that it had been at the UFO Museum that Max had somehow managed to remember Tess, from their past life. Could the same thing have happened to Tess? Was that why she was drifting away from Kyle? And how had Max remembered anyway? He had never explained that.

Suddenly a chill descended Liz's spine. She needed to find Max - immediately. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she just [I]had[/I] to see him. Now.

Liz realized that she and Kyle had wandered about half way around the school grounds, were actually closer to the front doors of the school now than they were to the gym. "Let's go back to the gym." Liz suggested, trying to sound calm. "We can have a dance."

Kyle sighed heavily. "Okay." He shoved his hands into his pockets again, followed Liz closely, although she had picked up her pace. By the time they rounded the corner to the hallway that led to the gym, she was almost running.

When she reflected on it later, Liz realized that, somehow, she had known what she was going to see when she found Max. She didn't know [I]how[/I] she knew, but she had.

She skidded to a stop, still barefoot, her sandals swinging from her hand. She dropped them instinctively as the sight in front of her came into focus.

Her vision blurred, she stumbled, felt bile rising in her throat, turned on her heel and ran back the way she had come. She passed Kyle, who called after her, worry in his voice. He cut himself off abruptly when he saw what she had just seen.

Liz thrust the doors to the school open, took great gulping breaths of air. She brought her hands up to her temples, pushed against them as though she could crush away the memory of it.

Max kissing Tess. Not just kissing her - practically inhaling her, his hands up cupping her face, kissing Tess the way he had always kissed Liz...hungrily, lovingly, like he never wanted to stop.

She was on her knees in the grass, swaying gently, rocking herself, trying to understand what she had just seen, how everything could have gone so horrifically wrong...

She felt a light touch on her back, realized that it was Kyle almost immediately. "Liz?"

"I slept with him. Tonight." She didn't understand why she told him, but the horror of the entire situation was such that she had no control over herself. She just needed to purge everything.

There was complete silence for what seemed like forever. "That bastard." Kyle sounded so livid, Liz looked up at him despite herself. His face was a mask of rage. "I'm going to kill him."

"No Kyle. Please. I need you." He was down on his knees beside her in an instant. She threw herself against him, felt great, wracking sobs beginning to erupt from within her. She had never felt pain like this before - not when she had had to leave Max at the pod chamber, not when she had seen the look on his face when he had caught her in bed with Kyle...It felt as though it was going to destroy her, that she literally would be unable to survive under the weight of her grief.

"I'm taking you home." Kyle said evenly, helping her up. When she stumbled, he simply swept her up against his chest and carried her to his car. Liz sensed all this at a great distance. She could feel herself slipping into some nether world where the pain dulled slightly, where she knew what had happened, but where she could bear it.

She stayed there through Kyle dropping her off, through him asking if she wanted him to stay, through telling her parents that she had had a wonderful time.

The nether world only shattered when she was wrapped in a blanket on her balcony, staring up at the cold stars, up at the stars that had sent her destroyer disguised as her true love.

All that was left was rage.

She hated him. With every fiber of her being. He had lied to her, had promised her things that he had no intention of ever giving her...

She had given herself to him and he had betrayed her the exact same day.

Liz's head came up in disbelief as his voice suddenly penetrated through the miasma of rage and grief. "Liz? Are you up there?"

Did he really have the gall to come and see her after what he had done?

She didn't move, could [I]not[/I] budge. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him. She never wanted to see him again.

And, yet she was not surprised when his dark head appeared over the edge of the balcony, complete confusion and dismay on his face. "Liz? Are you okay? Are you sick? You left. What happened?"

She turned away, let her hair fall across her face as a barrier between them. "Go away." She ordered. "I have absolutely no desire to talk to you."

The silence that followed was so complete that Liz actually wondered if he had left. But she knew he hadn't. "Liz, what's wrong?"

He actually sounded hurt, confused. That he could so coldly betray her and then pretend that nothing was wrong...He was worse than a bastard. He was evil.

"GO AWAY!" Liz almost screamed. "If you don't, I'm going to get my dad...or...or call the Sheriff." She glanced over at him. He was staring at her, the expression on his face completely blank, like he didn't know [I]what[/I] to feel.

Because he had no feelings.

"Liz?" He almost whispered it, his voice cracking slightly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

She scowled at him. "I saw you. I saw you Max. AGAIN! With her."

He looked truly bewildered. "With who?"

"With Tess!"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about Liz." He took a step towards her, raised his hand pleadingly.

"Kyle and I both saw you Max. You were kissing her. Right outside the gym."

Max stared at her. "Liz, are you okay?" She wrenched away as he reached out to touch her.

"GO AWAY! I mean it Max. I never want to see you again."

"Liz, this is insane!" Max yelled back, clearly on the verge of almost losing it. "I didn't kiss Tess. I swear I didn't!"

She almost believed him. He sounded [I]so[/I] sincere. But then that was Max. He always did.

"I saw you." She repeated mutinously.

"Liz, it's has to have been a mind-warp." Max's voice was back to a normal pitch. "Please. Think about it. I have no idea why she's doing this, but she's trying to split us up!"

Liz glared at him, "Max, she doesn't even know we're together! Why would she even think she has to split us up?"

Max blinked, looked perplexed again. "I don't know. Maybe she [I]does[/I] know?"

Liz shook her head. "No. I saw you."

"Liz, please!" He sounded like he was about to burst into tears. She turned her face away.

"Go away."

There was another long pause. And then, he did.

It was only when he was gone that her irrational rage drained out of her, so quickly that she knew that it had [I]not[/I] been her, just as it had [I]not[/I] been Max kissing Tess...

She knew it with every fiber of her being.

Suddenly, her panic was absolute.

She had to find Max, before he did something they would both regret for the rest of their lives. Because neither of them was in any sort of control of their actions. She had completely devastated him - had watched herself do it - had known that someone was controlling her the entire time, but had been unable to stop it.

He wasn't at home. Liz climbed through his window, sat down on his bed to wait. She wasn't going anywhere until she spoke to him again.

He was gone so long that Liz actually fell asleep, waking only when she felt his touch on her face.

She opened her eyes, prepared herself to apologize, to throw her arms around him, to kiss the hurt away...

But one look at his face, at the guilt and horror etched there and she knew.

Liz knew that Tess had won. She didn't know how or why. But she had won.

To be continued...