[u]Part 20 - Another Time, Another Life - Part H[/u]
[b] September 2001[/b]
The weeks that followed Max's departure with Tess were, without a doubt, the worst of Liz Parker's life.
For the first week, it had been all she had been able to do to continue existing. Even the mere thought of breathing was almost too tiring to contemplate. The knowledge that she had killed Max, as surely as if she had put a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger, was practically suffocating her. She endured nightmares about it - dreams of Max arriving on his planet with Tess, of Max being seized by faceless beings and of Max's life being extinguished in waves of pain and sorrow.
And in every single dream Max died cursing her name.
By the second week, Maria had managed to talk her out of her bedroom though.
"Liz, your parents are getting ready to send you to some hospital. They think you're having some kind of emotional break-down," her best friend had told her. Maria had been sitting on the side of her bed, gently pushing Liz's hair away from her forehead. "And I think they're close to right. You can't let this happen chica. It's the last thing Max would have wanted. He [I]had[/I] to go. You both knew it. Just because you were so mad at him when he went, it doesn't mean that it's your fault that he left."
Liz had not believed Maria, but she had understood that she had to make a pretense of living her life, if only because she still had one. Which was more than she could say for either Max or Alex. She had been responsible for both of them losing their lives and she had no right to waste hers.
So she went through the motions. She worked at the Crashdown for the entire summer, barely functioning, but still trying. She had forced herself to eat, forced herself to exercise, forced herself to sleep well. She had, ironically, never been healthier than during this summer - during the summer when she only wanted to allow herself to waste away. She had even allowed Kyle to take her to the movies a few times, had allowed herself to hang out with Maria, who was the only one with whom she let herself talk about Max and Alex.
It made is somehow better to talk about them. She knew that she didn't have the right to mourn them, being responsible as she was for their deaths. But she was not going to forget them either. Not like Michael and Isabel were both trying to do. She saw them doing it, saw Isabel's fury at her brother for leaving her behind, felt Michael's rage at himself that he couldn't stop Max, that he couldn't protect him, saw them both decide that forgetting him was easier than mourning him.
And so Liz Parker survived.
It wasn't until the waning weeks of July that she realized why - that there [I]had[/I] been a reason behind her seeming need to take care of herself.
She had been sitting at the counter in the Crashdown, more exhausted than usual after a busy night serving tables. She had had her journal in front of her, but had not found the strength to write in it. It didn't help anymore anyway.
Michael and Maria were sitting close together in a booth nearby, Michael with a huge sundae in front of him. He and Maria had been arguing, as usual, but with that underlying note of affection that made Liz smile despite herself. At least someone had [I]something[/I] to be happy about. Her best friend and Max's were more in love than ever, having spent practically every waking minute together since Max and the murderess had left in the granolith.
"Michael, do you have to spoil a perfectly good bowl of ice cream by dumping that stuff on it?" Maria had asked him. "It's criminal I tell you."
"There is no point in eating anything without Tabasco." Michael had replied through a mouthful of ice cream.
It was then that Liz had turned her head, her mouth suddenly watering so intensely, she blinked. She had zeroed in on the Tabasco bottle in Michael's hand, licked her lips.
The next thing she knew she had found herself in the kitchen of the restaurant, had pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer and was dumping in a full bottle of Tabasco. It was only as she was licking the last drops off of her spoon several minutes later that she even realized what she was doing.
And she knew [I]why[/I] almost instantly.
Maria had found her still on the floor of the back room, her knees pulled up to her chest, her forehead resting lightly on her knees, completely in a daze.
"Lizzie? Are you okay?" Maria had slid to the floor beside her, throwing her arm around her shoulders. "You left kind of quickly. Are you crying?"
But when Liz had lifted her head, Maria's own eyes had widened. Because Liz [I]was[/I] crying. But she was also smiling so brightly, Liz knew that her best friend had wondered if Liz [I]had[/I] finally lost her mind.
"Liz, what is it?" Maria had asked sounding scared.
"Maria, I haven't had my period in three months." Liz had replied.
Maria had frowned at her, not understanding. She had glanced down at the empty carton of ice cream and the Tabasco bottle in confusion. "And you think Tabasco is somehow going to rectify this?" She asked wryly. Liz had seen the light appear in Maria's eyes as she suddenly understood though. Liz had not blamed her for being dense. She herself had ignored all the signs for close to four months.
"Liz, are you...?" Maria had trailed off, her expression a mixture of terror and shock.
"I think so." Liz had replied, her heart so light, she almost felt giddy with it. "I'll need to find out for sure, but I think I am Maria."
Of course, Liz had known that she wasn't supposed to be happy about this turn of events. She was only seventeen years old after all. She had her entire life in front of her. Her parents were going to freak out. The entire [I]town[/I] was going to freak out, especially if they found out it was Max's, who everyone assumed had run away with Tess, although no one really understood why.
How was she supposed to raise a baby?
But this had not stopped the absolute joy that had permeated throughout Liz's soul from the minute she had realized what was happening to her body.
She was going to give birth to Max Evans' child. She and Max had created a [I]life[/I] together in that one perfect moment they had spent together, before everything had fallen apart again. Max was going to live on through this child.
And she could not be anything but happy about it. There was no other emotion to feel. Because from the minute she had become aware of the tiny life growing in her own young womb, she had loved it.
The reaction of the others had been mixed at best.
Her parents [I]had[/I] freaked, had blamed Max of course. Liz had actually though that her mother would kill him if she could get her hands on him. Her father had just been deeply disappointed, almost betrayed because she hadn't been more careful. It had upset Liz, but she still could not be sorry.
Maria was scared. Liz knew that she was trying to hide it, was trying to be supportive of Liz, but she still had many fears regarding the aliens and what being with them really meant. She and Michael had not yet slept together, were actually still probably months, if not years away from it. But Maria had not seen into Michael's soul - not in the way Liz had seen into Max's, in a way that made her know that this was a good thing, that her life was [I]not[/I] in danger because of their child.
Michael had not commented one way or the other. But Liz had noticed that he seemed to hang around the Crashdown a lot more than usual, which was saying a lot since he practically lived there anyway, and when she kept finding glasses of milk in strange places, reminding her of how he had treated Isabel when they had all thought that Max's sister was pregnant with Michael's child, she knew that he was happy about it and that he intended to protect her if it was the last thing he ever did.
The only person whose reaction scared Liz was Isabel's. Max's sister was furious at her brother, in a way Liz didn't think was entirely stable. She was doing her best to be supportive of Liz, seemed interested in the child's health and growth, but Max having abandoned Liz in this state seemed like the last straw for Isabel. Liz had a feeling deep down that her anger on behalf of Liz's baby was more likely anger on behalf of herself - anger that Max had promised he would never leave her behind, and he had, and there was no way to change that fact.
Strangely, or perhaps not, it was to Kyle that Liz found herself turning more and more. Kyle had been absolutely devastated by the role that he had played in Alex's death, even though it had in no way been his fault. And Liz also knew that he missed Tess, as much as he didn't want to, as much as he now hated her, she [I]had[/I] gotten to him, [I]had[/I] been like a sister to him, if not more than that. And he hated himself for missing her. Helping Liz, being there for her, was his way of making up for it.
He had even gone as far as to ask Liz if she wanted him to pretend that the baby was his. After all, no one would be totally shocked if they played it that way. Everyone already knew that they had supposedly spent the night together way back in October.
She had been touched, had actually considered it but, in the end, she could not do it. It had felt like a betrayal of Max to even pretend that this child belonged to anyone but him. Because Liz did not want anyone to think that she had ever truly loved anyone but him.
So, even though very few even knew about her present state yet - she was still hiding it well under baggy clothes and fewer shifts in her revealing Crashdown uniform - when it did become clear, although she was not going to publicize who the father was, if anyone asked her directly, she would not lie.
The summer had passed quickly after Liz had realized the truth. Her entire being had focused on the impending birth of her child, on how she was going to look after it, on what this meant for her future. While she sometimes felt mildly panicky, wondering if she was capable of raising a baby alone - because even though her parents had not thrown her out, they were not exactly overjoyed and so Liz had already planned that she was going to move out as soon as she could - her child was [I]not[/I] going to live somewhere it as not entirely wanted - she knew that she could do it. Had she not survived everything else fate had dropped in her lap? The destiny message, Future Max, losing Max and then being with him again, killing Alex, virtually killing Max too...she had survived it all. Perhaps not well, but she had survived. From the moment Max had saved her life, only two years before, although it seemed far, far longer, she had realized that she was capable of surviving anything.
And now she actually had something to live for again. Her child. Even the thought of the baby was enough to bring a feeling of untold serenity over her entire being, as though this had all been predestined, that every horrible thing that she and her friends had had to endure had been to bring them to the point when they would be ready to accept and raise this child as it was meant to be raised.
And so, on a warm day in early September, Liz stepped wearily through the doors of West Roswell High School, having entered the period of her pregnancy when she was [I]always[/I] tired, ready to again face the future, to learn as much as she could before her child came into the world. Isabel had helped her to arrange her schedule so that she would have enough credits to graduate in January, rather than in June with the rest of her class. The baby was due a few weeks after Christmas, and so at least it would not be born to a mother who had not even finished high school.
Liz paused at her locker, grabbed a few books and then made her way to her first period English class. It was the second week of school so she already knew that Maria and Michael were both in the class, which was a relief. She had already had to miss a day because she had not felt well. At least she would stay caught up. It was even a blessing because Michael now felt like he [I]had[/I] to go to school, at least to English, to make sure that Liz didn't fall behind. It made Liz smile just thinking about it.
When Liz entered the room, she could see that a crowd had gathered at the back of the room around someone's desk. She glanced curiously towards them, but went to her own place. She had no real interest in the latest high school gossip after all. She much more important things to worry about.
Neither Michael or Maria had arrived yet. Liz sighed as she maneuvered herself into a desk. While she was still not very big, her stomach [I]had[/I] increased considerably in size lately. It was only going to be days before everyone started to realize that Liz Parker was pregnant. While Liz was dreading the revelation, in some ways it would be a relief. Her teachers already knew after all. The gossip was going to be hell after the other students found out, but at least it would end eventually. But until the news leaked out, the impending worry was still giving her butterflies in her stomach.
Liz had opened her copy of Hamlet, was trying to finish up the questions that had been assigned the day before when part of the conversation towards the back of the room reached her ears.
She rolled her eyes when she realized that it was Pam Troy speaking. It had been too much to hope that Liz wouldn't share any classes with the most annoying girl in the Senior class. She had heard only yesterday that Pam's family had taken an extended holiday up north over the summer and that she was due back today. Until this moment, it had completely slipped Liz's mind, because it wasn't really important one way or the other.
But when Liz finally tuned into Pam's words, she realized that the level of Pam's tone meant that she wanted Liz to overhear the story with which she was enthralling her audience. "...asked Max what he and Tess were doing there." Pam was saying, her voice grating on Liz's words until she fully understood her words.
Liz's heart stopped. "But when I saw Tess, I understood." Pam continued. "She's [I]pregnant![/I] And I'm talking huge. She's probably popped that sprog by now 'cause this was a couple of months ago." Pam's tone was gleeful. "Can you believe it? The perfect Max Evans got the girl pregnant and they ran away because of it!"
Liz was barely breathing by this time though. She could feel herself about to keel over. She forced herself to gulp in air, brought her hands to her temples, pressed hard. She [I]knew[/I] that everyone at the back of the room was now staring at her. She needed out of this classroom immediately, if not sooner.
Her eyes focused suddenly as she saw movement to her left. She realized that Michael was standing over her. "Liz, let's go." He whispered. He had obviously arrived sometime during Pam's story because his face was so white, she thought [I]he[/I] too might be on the verge of passing out.
Liz allowed him to take her hand, followed him out the door, refused to look back at the other students, who had all suddenly gotten extremely quiet.
They ran into Maria in the hallway, about to enter the room. "What's going on you guys?" She asked, her tone instantly afraid when she caught a look at their faces. "Lizzie, are you okay? Are you sick?"
She was amazed by how calmly she answered her best friend. Every part of her being was screaming at the moment after all. "Max. Pam Troy saw him somewhere a couple of months ago. With Tess."
"What?" Maria screeched. "Has she been vacationing in the Dagobah system?"
Liz felt Michael's hand tighten around hers. He seemed to be quickly regaining control of himself. He glanced around to make sure no one had overheard her. "Maria, be quiet." He ordered. "We need Isabel. This cannot be true."
Maria looked abashed at her outburst. Her arm had come around Liz's shoulders from the other side. "It can't be. You're right. Max would have called us if they hadn't...if they hadn't made it back. We know how much Pam hates you Lizzie. She's just trying to get to you."
Liz stared at them both. "Why? Why would she make something like this up Maria? Sure, we're not exactly friends, but she was just stating what she saw. Yes, she was trying to get to me, but really, why would she lie?"
Michael and Maria exchanged a look. "I don't know." Michael finally admitted.
Liz closed her eyes, leaned her head back against a nearby locker. "So we're just going to have to face it then. Max never left and yet he didn't call anyone."
She was surprised at the way her heart felt like it was cracking down the middle, examined this fact mentally in an almost detached manner. She had truly believed that it was not capable of being any more hurt than it had already been.
But had it not started healing the minute she had found out about her baby? And so it was just whole enough to be able to break all over again.
There was complete silence between the three of them for what felt like forever, as they all tried to digest what this meant. The hallway had emptied, the last bell having rung moments before.
"Liz, what do you want us to do?" This came from Michael, making Liz jump slightly. She eyed him for a moment, realized that this was the first time Michael Guerin had [I]ever[/I] asked for her advice, for her opinion. But she thought she understood.
This final betrayal by Max had turned Michael against him. It was written there in black and white, all over his face. He looked furious.
Liz, the mother of the only child of his leader that Michael was willing to accept, was now in charge. It shocked her, frightened her. She did not want the responsibility.
She did not want them to turn on Max. Because, even though her heart was in agony over what he had done, she understood [I]why[/I] he had done it. After all, had she not always understood Max better than she understood even herself?
Just as he had always understood her. Which was why he was staying away. As far as Max knew, Liz still hated his guts. He knew that they had all had to let go of him when he had left with Tess, probably thought that it was better this way. Coming back to Roswell with the mother of his child would only hurt them more. He didn't even know that it was Tess who had killed Alex, had no idea of the state in which Liz presently found herself.
She knew deep in her heart that if he knew these things, he would come back. She knew it. She knew [I]him[/I].
And so it was up to Liz to fix things. Because she was the one who had assured that they were this messed up in the first place.
"We have to find him." Liz stated clearly, firmly, knowing in her heart that it was the right thing to do. "We need to bring him home."
Even if she couldn't be with him ever again, Max needed to come home.
And Tess needed to come with him.
[b] September 2001[/b]
The weeks that followed Max's departure with Tess were, without a doubt, the worst of Liz Parker's life.
For the first week, it had been all she had been able to do to continue existing. Even the mere thought of breathing was almost too tiring to contemplate. The knowledge that she had killed Max, as surely as if she had put a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger, was practically suffocating her. She endured nightmares about it - dreams of Max arriving on his planet with Tess, of Max being seized by faceless beings and of Max's life being extinguished in waves of pain and sorrow.
And in every single dream Max died cursing her name.
By the second week, Maria had managed to talk her out of her bedroom though.
"Liz, your parents are getting ready to send you to some hospital. They think you're having some kind of emotional break-down," her best friend had told her. Maria had been sitting on the side of her bed, gently pushing Liz's hair away from her forehead. "And I think they're close to right. You can't let this happen chica. It's the last thing Max would have wanted. He [I]had[/I] to go. You both knew it. Just because you were so mad at him when he went, it doesn't mean that it's your fault that he left."
Liz had not believed Maria, but she had understood that she had to make a pretense of living her life, if only because she still had one. Which was more than she could say for either Max or Alex. She had been responsible for both of them losing their lives and she had no right to waste hers.
So she went through the motions. She worked at the Crashdown for the entire summer, barely functioning, but still trying. She had forced herself to eat, forced herself to exercise, forced herself to sleep well. She had, ironically, never been healthier than during this summer - during the summer when she only wanted to allow herself to waste away. She had even allowed Kyle to take her to the movies a few times, had allowed herself to hang out with Maria, who was the only one with whom she let herself talk about Max and Alex.
It made is somehow better to talk about them. She knew that she didn't have the right to mourn them, being responsible as she was for their deaths. But she was not going to forget them either. Not like Michael and Isabel were both trying to do. She saw them doing it, saw Isabel's fury at her brother for leaving her behind, felt Michael's rage at himself that he couldn't stop Max, that he couldn't protect him, saw them both decide that forgetting him was easier than mourning him.
And so Liz Parker survived.
It wasn't until the waning weeks of July that she realized why - that there [I]had[/I] been a reason behind her seeming need to take care of herself.
She had been sitting at the counter in the Crashdown, more exhausted than usual after a busy night serving tables. She had had her journal in front of her, but had not found the strength to write in it. It didn't help anymore anyway.
Michael and Maria were sitting close together in a booth nearby, Michael with a huge sundae in front of him. He and Maria had been arguing, as usual, but with that underlying note of affection that made Liz smile despite herself. At least someone had [I]something[/I] to be happy about. Her best friend and Max's were more in love than ever, having spent practically every waking minute together since Max and the murderess had left in the granolith.
"Michael, do you have to spoil a perfectly good bowl of ice cream by dumping that stuff on it?" Maria had asked him. "It's criminal I tell you."
"There is no point in eating anything without Tabasco." Michael had replied through a mouthful of ice cream.
It was then that Liz had turned her head, her mouth suddenly watering so intensely, she blinked. She had zeroed in on the Tabasco bottle in Michael's hand, licked her lips.
The next thing she knew she had found herself in the kitchen of the restaurant, had pulled a carton of ice cream out of the freezer and was dumping in a full bottle of Tabasco. It was only as she was licking the last drops off of her spoon several minutes later that she even realized what she was doing.
And she knew [I]why[/I] almost instantly.
Maria had found her still on the floor of the back room, her knees pulled up to her chest, her forehead resting lightly on her knees, completely in a daze.
"Lizzie? Are you okay?" Maria had slid to the floor beside her, throwing her arm around her shoulders. "You left kind of quickly. Are you crying?"
But when Liz had lifted her head, Maria's own eyes had widened. Because Liz [I]was[/I] crying. But she was also smiling so brightly, Liz knew that her best friend had wondered if Liz [I]had[/I] finally lost her mind.
"Liz, what is it?" Maria had asked sounding scared.
"Maria, I haven't had my period in three months." Liz had replied.
Maria had frowned at her, not understanding. She had glanced down at the empty carton of ice cream and the Tabasco bottle in confusion. "And you think Tabasco is somehow going to rectify this?" She asked wryly. Liz had seen the light appear in Maria's eyes as she suddenly understood though. Liz had not blamed her for being dense. She herself had ignored all the signs for close to four months.
"Liz, are you...?" Maria had trailed off, her expression a mixture of terror and shock.
"I think so." Liz had replied, her heart so light, she almost felt giddy with it. "I'll need to find out for sure, but I think I am Maria."
Of course, Liz had known that she wasn't supposed to be happy about this turn of events. She was only seventeen years old after all. She had her entire life in front of her. Her parents were going to freak out. The entire [I]town[/I] was going to freak out, especially if they found out it was Max's, who everyone assumed had run away with Tess, although no one really understood why.
How was she supposed to raise a baby?
But this had not stopped the absolute joy that had permeated throughout Liz's soul from the minute she had realized what was happening to her body.
She was going to give birth to Max Evans' child. She and Max had created a [I]life[/I] together in that one perfect moment they had spent together, before everything had fallen apart again. Max was going to live on through this child.
And she could not be anything but happy about it. There was no other emotion to feel. Because from the minute she had become aware of the tiny life growing in her own young womb, she had loved it.
The reaction of the others had been mixed at best.
Her parents [I]had[/I] freaked, had blamed Max of course. Liz had actually though that her mother would kill him if she could get her hands on him. Her father had just been deeply disappointed, almost betrayed because she hadn't been more careful. It had upset Liz, but she still could not be sorry.
Maria was scared. Liz knew that she was trying to hide it, was trying to be supportive of Liz, but she still had many fears regarding the aliens and what being with them really meant. She and Michael had not yet slept together, were actually still probably months, if not years away from it. But Maria had not seen into Michael's soul - not in the way Liz had seen into Max's, in a way that made her know that this was a good thing, that her life was [I]not[/I] in danger because of their child.
Michael had not commented one way or the other. But Liz had noticed that he seemed to hang around the Crashdown a lot more than usual, which was saying a lot since he practically lived there anyway, and when she kept finding glasses of milk in strange places, reminding her of how he had treated Isabel when they had all thought that Max's sister was pregnant with Michael's child, she knew that he was happy about it and that he intended to protect her if it was the last thing he ever did.
The only person whose reaction scared Liz was Isabel's. Max's sister was furious at her brother, in a way Liz didn't think was entirely stable. She was doing her best to be supportive of Liz, seemed interested in the child's health and growth, but Max having abandoned Liz in this state seemed like the last straw for Isabel. Liz had a feeling deep down that her anger on behalf of Liz's baby was more likely anger on behalf of herself - anger that Max had promised he would never leave her behind, and he had, and there was no way to change that fact.
Strangely, or perhaps not, it was to Kyle that Liz found herself turning more and more. Kyle had been absolutely devastated by the role that he had played in Alex's death, even though it had in no way been his fault. And Liz also knew that he missed Tess, as much as he didn't want to, as much as he now hated her, she [I]had[/I] gotten to him, [I]had[/I] been like a sister to him, if not more than that. And he hated himself for missing her. Helping Liz, being there for her, was his way of making up for it.
He had even gone as far as to ask Liz if she wanted him to pretend that the baby was his. After all, no one would be totally shocked if they played it that way. Everyone already knew that they had supposedly spent the night together way back in October.
She had been touched, had actually considered it but, in the end, she could not do it. It had felt like a betrayal of Max to even pretend that this child belonged to anyone but him. Because Liz did not want anyone to think that she had ever truly loved anyone but him.
So, even though very few even knew about her present state yet - she was still hiding it well under baggy clothes and fewer shifts in her revealing Crashdown uniform - when it did become clear, although she was not going to publicize who the father was, if anyone asked her directly, she would not lie.
The summer had passed quickly after Liz had realized the truth. Her entire being had focused on the impending birth of her child, on how she was going to look after it, on what this meant for her future. While she sometimes felt mildly panicky, wondering if she was capable of raising a baby alone - because even though her parents had not thrown her out, they were not exactly overjoyed and so Liz had already planned that she was going to move out as soon as she could - her child was [I]not[/I] going to live somewhere it as not entirely wanted - she knew that she could do it. Had she not survived everything else fate had dropped in her lap? The destiny message, Future Max, losing Max and then being with him again, killing Alex, virtually killing Max too...she had survived it all. Perhaps not well, but she had survived. From the moment Max had saved her life, only two years before, although it seemed far, far longer, she had realized that she was capable of surviving anything.
And now she actually had something to live for again. Her child. Even the thought of the baby was enough to bring a feeling of untold serenity over her entire being, as though this had all been predestined, that every horrible thing that she and her friends had had to endure had been to bring them to the point when they would be ready to accept and raise this child as it was meant to be raised.
And so, on a warm day in early September, Liz stepped wearily through the doors of West Roswell High School, having entered the period of her pregnancy when she was [I]always[/I] tired, ready to again face the future, to learn as much as she could before her child came into the world. Isabel had helped her to arrange her schedule so that she would have enough credits to graduate in January, rather than in June with the rest of her class. The baby was due a few weeks after Christmas, and so at least it would not be born to a mother who had not even finished high school.
Liz paused at her locker, grabbed a few books and then made her way to her first period English class. It was the second week of school so she already knew that Maria and Michael were both in the class, which was a relief. She had already had to miss a day because she had not felt well. At least she would stay caught up. It was even a blessing because Michael now felt like he [I]had[/I] to go to school, at least to English, to make sure that Liz didn't fall behind. It made Liz smile just thinking about it.
When Liz entered the room, she could see that a crowd had gathered at the back of the room around someone's desk. She glanced curiously towards them, but went to her own place. She had no real interest in the latest high school gossip after all. She much more important things to worry about.
Neither Michael or Maria had arrived yet. Liz sighed as she maneuvered herself into a desk. While she was still not very big, her stomach [I]had[/I] increased considerably in size lately. It was only going to be days before everyone started to realize that Liz Parker was pregnant. While Liz was dreading the revelation, in some ways it would be a relief. Her teachers already knew after all. The gossip was going to be hell after the other students found out, but at least it would end eventually. But until the news leaked out, the impending worry was still giving her butterflies in her stomach.
Liz had opened her copy of Hamlet, was trying to finish up the questions that had been assigned the day before when part of the conversation towards the back of the room reached her ears.
She rolled her eyes when she realized that it was Pam Troy speaking. It had been too much to hope that Liz wouldn't share any classes with the most annoying girl in the Senior class. She had heard only yesterday that Pam's family had taken an extended holiday up north over the summer and that she was due back today. Until this moment, it had completely slipped Liz's mind, because it wasn't really important one way or the other.
But when Liz finally tuned into Pam's words, she realized that the level of Pam's tone meant that she wanted Liz to overhear the story with which she was enthralling her audience. "...asked Max what he and Tess were doing there." Pam was saying, her voice grating on Liz's words until she fully understood her words.
Liz's heart stopped. "But when I saw Tess, I understood." Pam continued. "She's [I]pregnant![/I] And I'm talking huge. She's probably popped that sprog by now 'cause this was a couple of months ago." Pam's tone was gleeful. "Can you believe it? The perfect Max Evans got the girl pregnant and they ran away because of it!"
Liz was barely breathing by this time though. She could feel herself about to keel over. She forced herself to gulp in air, brought her hands to her temples, pressed hard. She [I]knew[/I] that everyone at the back of the room was now staring at her. She needed out of this classroom immediately, if not sooner.
Her eyes focused suddenly as she saw movement to her left. She realized that Michael was standing over her. "Liz, let's go." He whispered. He had obviously arrived sometime during Pam's story because his face was so white, she thought [I]he[/I] too might be on the verge of passing out.
Liz allowed him to take her hand, followed him out the door, refused to look back at the other students, who had all suddenly gotten extremely quiet.
They ran into Maria in the hallway, about to enter the room. "What's going on you guys?" She asked, her tone instantly afraid when she caught a look at their faces. "Lizzie, are you okay? Are you sick?"
She was amazed by how calmly she answered her best friend. Every part of her being was screaming at the moment after all. "Max. Pam Troy saw him somewhere a couple of months ago. With Tess."
"What?" Maria screeched. "Has she been vacationing in the Dagobah system?"
Liz felt Michael's hand tighten around hers. He seemed to be quickly regaining control of himself. He glanced around to make sure no one had overheard her. "Maria, be quiet." He ordered. "We need Isabel. This cannot be true."
Maria looked abashed at her outburst. Her arm had come around Liz's shoulders from the other side. "It can't be. You're right. Max would have called us if they hadn't...if they hadn't made it back. We know how much Pam hates you Lizzie. She's just trying to get to you."
Liz stared at them both. "Why? Why would she make something like this up Maria? Sure, we're not exactly friends, but she was just stating what she saw. Yes, she was trying to get to me, but really, why would she lie?"
Michael and Maria exchanged a look. "I don't know." Michael finally admitted.
Liz closed her eyes, leaned her head back against a nearby locker. "So we're just going to have to face it then. Max never left and yet he didn't call anyone."
She was surprised at the way her heart felt like it was cracking down the middle, examined this fact mentally in an almost detached manner. She had truly believed that it was not capable of being any more hurt than it had already been.
But had it not started healing the minute she had found out about her baby? And so it was just whole enough to be able to break all over again.
There was complete silence between the three of them for what felt like forever, as they all tried to digest what this meant. The hallway had emptied, the last bell having rung moments before.
"Liz, what do you want us to do?" This came from Michael, making Liz jump slightly. She eyed him for a moment, realized that this was the first time Michael Guerin had [I]ever[/I] asked for her advice, for her opinion. But she thought she understood.
This final betrayal by Max had turned Michael against him. It was written there in black and white, all over his face. He looked furious.
Liz, the mother of the only child of his leader that Michael was willing to accept, was now in charge. It shocked her, frightened her. She did not want the responsibility.
She did not want them to turn on Max. Because, even though her heart was in agony over what he had done, she understood [I]why[/I] he had done it. After all, had she not always understood Max better than she understood even herself?
Just as he had always understood her. Which was why he was staying away. As far as Max knew, Liz still hated his guts. He knew that they had all had to let go of him when he had left with Tess, probably thought that it was better this way. Coming back to Roswell with the mother of his child would only hurt them more. He didn't even know that it was Tess who had killed Alex, had no idea of the state in which Liz presently found herself.
She knew deep in her heart that if he knew these things, he would come back. She knew it. She knew [I]him[/I].
And so it was up to Liz to fix things. Because she was the one who had assured that they were this messed up in the first place.
"We have to find him." Liz stated clearly, firmly, knowing in her heart that it was the right thing to do. "We need to bring him home."
Even if she couldn't be with him ever again, Max needed to come home.
And Tess needed to come with him.
