"One-Winged Angel"

Chapter One: "Flying like a Rock"

Characters: All original

Spoilers: None

Uploaded: 4/19/02

Reloaded: 7/17/02

Flying like a Rock

Disclaimer: I don't own Valdemar, Companions, etc., or the title of this fic. Velgarth and all things thus associated belong to Mercedes Lackey and the title of this fic, "One-Winged Angel" is from Final Fantasy VII, copyright Squaresoft. The idea for this fic is from my good friend Rachel.

A/N: I'm really bad at titling things, so I'm sorry if you don't think the title has anything to do with the story. If you review this telling me that it's a Mary Sue, then you'd be sort of right, the situation is similar to one I'm going through, but I really am not anything like the main character. If anything, I'm more like her Companion. Her mother is like mine though…enough of my talking, get on with the fanfiction reading!

            Herald-Mage Cytheria, Heir to the Throne of Valdemar, brushed aside one silver-streaked auburn lock to study the young man before her. She'd known him for years, this Herald, and he had been in her year-group when she was in training. He was still handsome, hair a ruddy brown and eyes a bright green, hair attractively streaked with silver, like hers, and eyes made only the brighter from the node energy. He had a domineering aura, making her feel insignificant, with only a reddish mop of perfectly styled curls and a pair of piercing slate gray eyes to his chestnut waves and eyes of clearest jade.

            He paused in his work--grooming his Companion--and glanced towards the young princess. For some reason, he liked it out in the cold, and so Cytheria was outside often, observing him from a distance. She found herself gazing into his eyes, staring, quite rudely, at his finely sculptured face. There was something about his eyes…and she felt almost like she was falling into them.

The tall grass in the Companion's Field was a mild gray-brown, blowing in the brisk wind of early winter. The trees served as a pleasant backdrop with some browned, lingering leaves hanging from the beeches and elms, and the enriched emerald of pine trees in their element. Cytheria did not wait for her Companion, Larraine, to come to a complete halt before leaping into the saddle and sending a quick mindspoken command to race away before she lost herself in those eyes…again. When no one in the palace complex could tame the young princess, the mere prescence of the farmboy-turned-Herald made her feel as feeble as a newly weaned colt and as obvious as a raven among snow-white doves. And Cytheria, Mistress of the Wind, Enigma Extraordinaire, Ice Princess of the Universe, did not like having those feelings racing around inside of her.

Feelings. Yes, feelings, for feelings there were, feelings like a turbid whirlpool of emotion, wildly thrashing about, residing and wreaking havoc in her very being. She nearly lost her center each time she conjured a picture of him in her mind. Herald Dolan, of all people, inspired such emotion in her…such intense emotion, and yet he didn't notice her, didn't act like he wanted her as anything other than a friend. With a sigh, Cytheria came out of her dream-like state of pensiveness.

:Thinking deep thoughts, Chosen?:

:Larraine, he's tormenting me. Why doesn't he say anything? Can't he feel the tension between us?:

:Just because you feel something for Dolan doesn't mean that he necessarily feels the same way, 'Thia. Remember, one ox can't pull the entire plough.:

:Enough with the proverbs,: Cytheria grumbled--if grumbling was at all possible through mindspeech--to her Companion. :I get it, I can't expect anything out of him until I know. I'm making assumptions, assumptions are bad, I understand all this.: Cytheria tossed her head and looked across the now still field, towards Dolan. :What I don't understand is why me…: And with her last drawn out sentence she sent a wave of remorse and distress to her Companion.

Larraine turned to look at her Chosen condescendingly with one disdainful blue eye. :I thought you had more sense than that, Chosen. Please take into account that things are never as bad as you make them seem, and someone somewhere or in history has had it harder than you do right now! You're being childish, 'Thia.:

:Why did you Choose me then, if I'm so childish?: Cytheria asked sardonically, dismounting.

:I'm wondering the same thing right now.: And on that sour note, Larraine loped away, bridle bells jingling cheerily in an antithesis to the mordant parting of Herald and Companion. Cytheria simply sighed and made her way back to the palace, muttering all the way.

*~*

"Mother, I do not care, I am not going to eat with the Council tonight and you can't make me!" Cytheria all but yelled down her mother's receiving chambers.

"Cytheria Asalie Valdemar, I am your mother and I say that you will eat when and where and even how I say! No, not another word, don't dare speak back to me! Lord and Lady, I brought you into this world, 'Thia, and I can take you out of it!" The queen's regal expression was briefly fractured by fleeting rage at her daughter's impudence.

"My Lady Mother," Cytheria said as civilly as she could through her clenched teeth, "I do not wish to dine with the Council tonight, and I would very much appreciate if such an overprotective old hen would kindly let her chick leave the nest and fly on her own, keeping her beak out of her daughter's matters. I can make my own decisions." With that, the princess paced out of the chamber and into the hall without so much as a backward glance.

:You weren't very nice to your mother, and by the way, chickens don't fly very well,: the familiar mindvoice stated resolutely.

:On speaking terms with me again, are we now, Larraine?: Cytheria replied calmly.

:Yes, because I have to be, Chosen. And…I'm sorry. I was pestering you a bit.:

The girl softened and even smiled a little, though her Companion could not see it. :No, you were right, I was being childish. I was worried you would repudiate me or something equally as horrid.:

:Repudiate you? Havens, no! It hasn't been done yet and I don't intend to be the first Companion to do it. But I might be forced to, if you don't curb your temper… I do wish you would talk to me though. I can't help but think you're keeping something from me…:

:Tread lightly, horse, or you'll set me off again, and this time the target of my venting will be you, and not my mother.: Only silence answered Cytheria as she opened the door to her rooms and stepped inside the warm haven. Cytheria loved her rooms…the polished wooden floors had handsome Shin'a'in-made throw rugs of various sizes decorating its surface, while miscellaneous pictures--ranging from Companions and landscapes to a portrait of her family and a specially made painting of her, riding Larraine, silver coronet adorning her dark auburn tresses and eyes bright and wet from wind and excitement--adorned her walls. Cytheria bypassed those trinkets and headed for her bed, soft and stuffed with heather, with pillows filled with down. The warm scent of lavender met her nostrils as she laid, face down, inhaling the fresh reminder of sleep and peaceful dreams in this bed.

Resentfully, Cytheria drew herself up after a few moments of relaxation, knowing that she should apologize to her mother and knowing that her mother would apologize for her own harshness after the talk Cytheria knew must have happened between the Queen and her Companion, Brendel.  And 'Thia felt the rush of approval from Larraine as soon as she thought this.

:Oh fine, I'll go talk to her…: Cytheria said quickly, sliding off the bed and pushing the door aside. :I am still not eating with the council though,: she added resolutely.

:I don't expect you to, you're too stubborn to give in just because you resent acting so awfully towards your mother.:

"Correct as usual, Larraine," Cytheria muttered as she descended the stairs, receiving a bewildered look from one of the new pages.

*~*

"…I still think that we should expand our borders to include the Three Rivers settlement," Queen Cecile said, rubbing her temple.

"Majesty, our borders have not expanded since your grandfather's time…" Lord Myram replied.

"Well then let there be change, Lord Myram.  I don't see you objecting that my seven times great-grandfather Baron Valdemar went off and started his own kingdom, and that classifies as quite a bit of change, I would think. What have we to loose from this expansion? Karse's Son of the Sun has already as well as disowned the citizens of that area, I don't think they'll mind if we take it. It's practically unwanted land, but I hear that they have some fine glassware and already two of the locals have been Chosen! Do you want a sign from the Gods, Myram, since the will of the Companions isn't enough for you?"

"I…" The Lord looked quite put out at this sudden display of anger on the side of the Queen.

"What else can we ask for, then? For Lady's sake, tell me, I'm dying to hear a good reason why we should not reach out and grab this opportunity! Do you have any good reasons, Myram? No? Well then let's just vote and get this issue over and done with!" Cecile was flushed with anger and one raven curl had escaped her coiled braid, but her eyes shone the way they always did when she had gotten her way.

"And that," Queen's Own Herald Jolan whispered to Cytheria, "is where you get your temper from." The Heir stifled a giggle and was glad that she had made up with her mother for the fight they'd had the day before. But while being on good terms with her mother solved one of her problems, Cytheria had another set entirely that she fully intended to deal with tonight, no later.

After the Council session was over, Cytheria went directly outside to the Companion's Field and found Larraine. She scrambled up the Companion's silky flank, landed a seat on Larraine's bare back, and the pair rode off in silence towards the very edge of the Field. 

:So, what is it? And don't sigh and say nothing, because I know there is something bothering you,: the Companion urged as her Chosen dismounted and sat on the grass.

"It's nothing," Cytheria sighed, and Larraine greeted the unwelcome response with a nip.

:I just told you not to do that. Now, tell me. I promise I won't get angry or laugh, I just want to know.:

:It's Dolan. I don't know why he effects me this way…he's said before that I'm like a sister to him, but…:

:Chosen, I've told you before…:

:No, Larraine. I'm positive this is different…let me show you.: And Cytheria looked into her Companion's clear blue eyes, felt the falling sensation that came with them, and opened her heart fully to her Companion, letting the pent up emotions inside her, the ones she had even shielded from her Companion, out. She let everything out into the open, and began to cry as she felt each emotion in succession.

:Thia, I didn't know it was like this…:

:Stop talking, let me finish telling you. I'm so overcome with everything…at first I thought that it was just because we were friends, but then there was lust, and immense loyalty, and such an overpowering need…Larraine, I don't know what any of this is, I don't know what it means, and I just want it to go away. I hate emotions, and I'm an empath. I can't seem to do anything right, and I have a major mage-gift. I have strong mindspeech, and precious few people to use it with. I'm cursed, Larraine! It isn't fair, it just isn't. And I know you'll say that life just isn't fair, and dammit, I know that, but it seems like things are always worse for me!: Any further comments were choked off my a mental sob, followed by a physical one.

:Chosen…can you handle something else, tonight?:

:Like what?:

:It's about Dolan…:

:Tell me.:

:'Thia, it's the oddest thing I've ever seen…:

:Just tell me.:

:It's…it's so dangerously similar to a lifebond, what you feel for Dolan.:

Cytheria's head came up and she looked at Larraine with hope burning in her eyes. "Is it a li-lif--" she whispered into the semi-darkness of twilight, stuttering.

:'Thia, it's…it's hard to describe. It's almost…:

The shaking figure at the Companion's feet moaned in anger. "Just…answer…the question," she said, voice small and almost inaudible. "Is it, or isn't it?"

:Oh Chosen…for you it is, but for him it isn't.:

:Dear Goddess…so it's a--:

:A one-sided lifebond.:

A/N: Formatting, YAY! I hope y'all appreciate the trouble I went through… But it's readable now, ne?

Oh, and sorry about the dramatic ending to this first chapter of paramount importance…

~`~Amaris~`~ (Or whatever my pen name is at the moment)