~
~ A Childs Prayer ~
~
~
~ Now I lay me down
to sleep ~
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to keep ~
~
~ And if I die before
I wake ~
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to take ~
~
~ Amen ~
~
~
~ Now I lay me down
to sleep ~
~
Heero lay
on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Visions of the innocents he had killed
playing in his mind. Heero shut his eyes and tried to make the pictures
disappear, but like always, they would not.
Duo closed
his eyes and sighed audibly, hoping that sleep would come quickly. It wouldn't.
It never did these days, well at least not since the war.
Trowa sat
on the edge of his bed and looked at his pillow. Slowly he laid his head down
and closed his eyes only to open them again. "Stupid memories!" Trowa thought.
Quatre let
one tear escape as he lay on his bed. It seemed that he couldn't go to sleep
one night without crying before finally surrendering to the nightmares that
still plagued him. "Those innocent people." Quatre thought, not bothering to
wipe away the tear on his smooth cheek…or the many that followed.
Wufei
looked at the ceiling and thought about his wife, what she had lived for…what
she had died for, what he had continued fighting for. "Is there really true
justice out there?" Wufei asked the darkness.
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to keep ~
~
Heero
peered into the darkness trying to find the words to express how sorry he felt
for what he had done. He tried to find a way out. Forgiveness was the one thing
he craved.
Duo,
feeling wide-awake, started to converse with the darkness. He was, after all,
the God of Death and Darkness. "I wonder if there's any forgiveness for death?
I wonder if there's any forgiveness for what I have done?"
Trowa
sighed, wanted more than anything to make the guilt go away…wanting more than
anything to feel forgiven for what he had done.
"I'm
sorry…" Quatre whispered in to the darkness hoping that saying it just one more
time would take the heaviness away. It didn't.
Wufei
rolled over and wished that he could ask that question to God. "Maybe he could
tell me what is worth living for…if there is a God who cares enough."
~
~ And if I die before
I wake ~
~
Heero
refocused his eyes on the shiny glint off of something very deadly on his
nightstand. "If I did it then it would certainly take care of the guilt." Heero
thought.
"I deserve
to die!" Duo said to the wall opposite his bed.
"Maybe if I
die I won't have to deal with this guilt anymore." Trowa wondered.
Quatre
thought of suicide once more. It wasn't that uncommon for the thought of
killing himself to appear to Quatre since the war. "Maybe that is the only way
to be forgiven?" Quatre wondered, blinking the tears out of his eyes.
"No. No God
is caring if he kills the people most important in your life…especially someone
who was fighting for something that just had to be right." Wufei thought.
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to take ~
~
Heero
lifted the gun to his head. "Forgive me…" And all was silent.
"I can't
ever be forgiven." Duo thought. "No one could ever forgive me."
For the
first in a long time Trowa cried. "Forgive me…" He chocked out.
"But would
God take this tainted soul?" Quatre wondered as he stared at the razor in his
right hand. With one quick swipe all was silent.
"I hate you
God." Wufei angrily spit out. 'I don't ever want your help."
~
~ Amen ~
~
~
~ Now I lay me down
to sleep ~
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to keep ~
~
~ And if I die before
I wake ~
~
~ I pray the Lord my
soul to take ~
~
~ Amen ~
~