A Childs Prayer

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~ A Childs Prayer ~

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~ Now I lay me down to sleep ~

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~ I pray the Lord my soul to keep ~

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~ And if I die before I wake ~

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~ I pray the Lord my soul to take ~

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~ Amen ~

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~ Now I lay me down to sleep ~

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            Heero lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Visions of the innocents he had killed playing in his mind. Heero shut his eyes and tried to make the pictures disappear, but like always, they would not.

            Duo closed his eyes and sighed audibly, hoping that sleep would come quickly. It wouldn't. It never did these days, well at least not since the war.

            Trowa sat on the edge of his bed and looked at his pillow. Slowly he laid his head down and closed his eyes only to open them again. "Stupid memories!" Trowa thought.

            Quatre let one tear escape as he lay on his bed. It seemed that he couldn't go to sleep one night without crying before finally surrendering to the nightmares that still plagued him. "Those innocent people." Quatre thought, not bothering to wipe away the tear on his smooth cheek…or the many that followed.

            Wufei looked at the ceiling and thought about his wife, what she had lived for…what she had died for, what he had continued fighting for. "Is there really true justice out there?" Wufei asked the darkness.

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~ I pray the Lord my soul to keep ~

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            Heero peered into the darkness trying to find the words to express how sorry he felt for what he had done. He tried to find a way out. Forgiveness was the one thing he craved.

            Duo, feeling wide-awake, started to converse with the darkness. He was, after all, the God of Death and Darkness. "I wonder if there's any forgiveness for death? I wonder if there's any forgiveness for what I have done?"

            Trowa sighed, wanted more than anything to make the guilt go away…wanting more than anything to feel forgiven for what he had done.

            "I'm sorry…" Quatre whispered in to the darkness hoping that saying it just one more time would take the heaviness away. It didn't.

            Wufei rolled over and wished that he could ask that question to God. "Maybe he could tell me what is worth living for…if there is a God who cares enough."

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~ And if I die before I wake ~

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            Heero refocused his eyes on the shiny glint off of something very deadly on his nightstand. "If I did it then it would certainly take care of the guilt." Heero thought.

            "I deserve to die!" Duo said to the wall opposite his bed.

            "Maybe if I die I won't have to deal with this guilt anymore." Trowa wondered.

            Quatre thought of suicide once more. It wasn't that uncommon for the thought of killing himself to appear to Quatre since the war. "Maybe that is the only way to be forgiven?" Quatre wondered, blinking the tears out of his eyes.

            "No. No God is caring if he kills the people most important in your life…especially someone who was fighting for something that just had to be right." Wufei thought.

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~ I pray the Lord my soul to take ~

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            Heero lifted the gun to his head. "Forgive me…" And all was silent.

 

            "I can't ever be forgiven." Duo thought. "No one could ever forgive me."

            For the first in a long time Trowa cried. "Forgive me…" He chocked out.

            "But would God take this tainted soul?" Quatre wondered as he stared at the razor in his right hand. With one quick swipe all was silent.

            "I hate you God." Wufei angrily spit out. 'I don't ever want your help."

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~ Amen ~

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~ Now I lay me down to sleep ~

~

~ I pray the Lord my soul to keep ~

~

~ And if I die before I wake ~

~

~ I pray the Lord my soul to take ~

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~ Amen ~

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